Gay Coded Cowboys

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Gay Coded Cowboys"

Podcast Title: I've Had It
Hosts: Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
Episode: Gay Coded Cowboys
Release Date: December 3, 2024

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Introduction to the Episode

In the episode "Gay Coded Cowboys," hosts Jennifer Welch (Jared Freed) and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan engage in their signature comedic banter, exploring various contemporary grievances with a humorous twist. Joined by their special guest, Jordana Abraham, the trio delves into topics ranging from social media trends to performative relationships, all while maintaining a lighthearted and engaging atmosphere.

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Restaurant Reviewers on TikTok

One of the primary discussions centers around the proliferation of restaurant reviewers on TikTok. Jordana Abraham expresses her frustration with the impersonal nature of these reviews, criticizing their lack of depth and authenticity.

Jordana Abraham [04:52]: "TikTok is like all restaurant reviewers... They have very little fun in them. They're just kind of explaining what the restaurant is."

She further elaborates on how financial backgrounds influence these reviews, questioning the credibility of opinions from reviewers who might not experience the same financial pressures as average diners.

Jordana Abraham [05:00]: "I need to know who's paying the bills. How good something tastes when you go to a restaurant is directly related to how easy it is for you to pay your bills."

Jared Freed humorously suggests a more candid approach for TikTok reviewers, advocating for transparency about their personal circumstances to provide a more relatable perspective.

Jared Freed [08:05]: "I want to piggyback on your idea. I want one of these TikTok gals, restaurant reviewers, to start the video with... I've been on a ten-day cocaine bender."

---

Performative Social Media Personas: Pookie and Jet

The conversation shifts to dissecting the authenticity of social media personas, specifically critiquing the couple Pookie and Jet. The hosts express skepticism about the genuineness of their relationship, suggesting that their online presence lacks authenticity and may be driven by performative motives.

Jordana Abraham [10:21]: "I would never... I want to see them do some weird shit. Pookie shit on my chest."

Jared Freed [12:30]: "Pookie and Jet are bad pet owners."

They humorously anthropomorphize a pet French bulldog, expressing concerns about the well-being of the animal amidst the couple's flamboyant online behavior.

Jordana Abraham [34:12]: "He's got to watch all that weird sex they're having."

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Grievances About Modern Trends

The hosts take turns listing and elaborating on various modern-day grievances, each delivered with their characteristic humor and wit.

1. Recycling Confusion

   Jordana Abraham vents her frustration with the complexities of recycling, arguing that it has become a societal pressure rather than a straightforward practice.

   Jordana Abraham [40:14]: "Recycling is the dumbest thing in the world... We can't fix it, right?"

   Jared Freed reminisces about the past ease of discarding waste, contrasting it with today's stringent recycling norms that induce unnecessary anxiety.

   Jared Freed [42:25]: "I started on this journey throwing my shit out the window with reckless abandon. Zero guilt."

2. Wedding Dinners

   The traditional wedding dinner receives heavy criticism for its formality and lack of enjoyment.

   Jordana Abraham [44:20]: "The dinner at the wedding is the worst part of the wedding."

   She proposes a more dynamic approach with continuous hors d'oeuvres, enhancing the event's energy and guest experience.

   Jordana Abraham [45:02]: "We have to sit for this. I don't like forced group meals and forced group activities."

3. Marathoners and Post-Race Behavior

   Marathon runners are mocked for their perceived elitism and awkward celebrations post-race, which the hosts find unrelatable and excessive.

   Jordana Abraham [47:04]: "The only night you go out is when you're wearing a medal that you didn't even earn."

   The hosts contrast marathoners' intense discipline with their own laid-back approach to exercise and socializing.

4. Reality Shows Critique

   Reality television is another target, with the hosts debating its authenticity and the societal perceptions it fosters.

   Jordana Abraham [49:34]: "I don't like when people hate reality TV. You don't have to watch it, right?"

   They discuss the dichotomy between reality and scripted elements in these shows, highlighting the confusion it creates among viewers.

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Personal Anecdotes and Relatable Stories

Throughout the episode, Jordana shares personal experiences that resonate with the listeners, such as her solo trip to the Carlton Hotel in Cannes and meeting a multilingual Frenchman. These stories add depth to the conversation, illustrating the hosts' perspectives on relationships and authenticity.

Jordana Abraham [18:05]: "I had a two to three-day tryst in the south of France with a Frenchman who only knew English through Air Supply songs."

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts reflect on the discussed topics, reinforcing their stance on seeking authenticity in a world rife with performative behavior. Their humor serves as a coping mechanism, allowing them to express frustrations while keeping the conversation entertaining.

Jordana Abraham [25:05]: "When you go out to Europe, you go fuck for a couple of days. There's just no, it's goodbye."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jordana Abraham [04:52]: "TikTok is like all restaurant reviewers... They have very little fun in them. They're just kind of explaining what the restaurant is."
• Jared Freed [08:05]: "I want one of these TikTok gals, restaurant reviewers, to start the video with... I've been on a ten-day cocaine bender."
• Jordana Abraham [34:12]: "He's got to watch all that weird sex they're having."
• Jordana Abraham [40:14]: "Recycling is the dumbest thing in the world... We can't fix it, right?"
• Jordana Abraham [44:20]: "The dinner at the wedding is the worst part of the wedding."
• Jordana Abraham [47:04]: "The only night you go out is when you're wearing a medal that you didn't even earn."
• Jordana Abraham [49:34]: "I don't like when people hate reality TV. You don't have to watch it, right?"

---

Final Remarks

"I've Had It" with Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan continues to entertain and provoke thought by addressing everyday annoyances through a comedic lens. In "Gay Coded Cowboys," the hosts successfully blend humor with sharp social commentary, offering listeners both laughs and insights into modern societal quirks.

Transcript

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[Jared Freed]

So, are we supposed to start the podcast?

[Pumps]

Ready? One, two, three.

[Jared Freed]

Something amazing is happening. Listener.

[Jordana Abraham]

Ka.

[Pumps]

Ka.

[Jared Freed]

All right, there's our eagle. I'm sorry, Jared. Jared Freed is here in Oklahoma City because I think you might love us.

[Jordana Abraham]

I do. We love you. I came here. I love you guys. I came here to, you know, to woo you guys, to court you guys.

[Jared Freed]

You flew.

[Jordana Abraham]

Bring you back to New York. I flew here early to be in your midst, in. In your aura. Yeah. I want. I want to. I. I want to have it in person.

[Jared Freed]

I was telling you before we started, one thing I appreciate about you is the attention to detail.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

That you give to your grievances.

[Jordana Abraham]

I am a professional complainer. I'm a ranter. I mean, I do this every day of my life. I just. And my joy. You know, the thing is, I love a complaint that is frivolous. I love a complaint that is like a nothing. Like, I love. I love when someone goes, calm down. It's just, you know, the elevator. And I'm like, calm down about the elevator. This is the only thing that matters to me. Like, this is. I can't believe you're not as enraged as I am. And nothing is worse than a. Calm down, relax. Calm down. Easy. Whoa.

[Jared Freed]

I was just joking.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I care about everything that doesn't matter. I have the problems of the problemless, and it's like a very beautiful place to be. I think everyone should hope to be where I am in life.

[Pumps]

That's right.

[Jordana Abraham]

No problems. But every problem in the world.

[Jared Freed]

You're from Boston. You lived in New York city the last 15 years. Is coming to a place like this, is it somewhat exotic? Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, I've talked about this before. It's National Geographic. I feel like I have come to the. You know, to a far off, distant universe, and I am just a fly on the wall watching. And I'll never forget the moment I felt. This was when I went to a. Last time I was here, I went to where they go line dancing. What's it called? Where.

[Pumps]

Oh, where. Cowboys.

[Jordana Abraham]

That was like. That was as if I was watching, like, a tribe. Like, watching a tribe doing tribal dances like I've never seen. And all the men looked like the type that would bully a man for dancing.

[Pumps]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

But they like all the men dancing, looked like they would bully a guy who liked show tunes and dancing to show tunes. And they're dancing, doing with the big belt buckles and the tucked in shirts. They're dressed like their mom was like, tuck in your shirt.

[Jared Freed]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, they look ridiculous to me. They look. And also like tough.

[Jared Freed]

And the jeans are skin tight. I like jeggings.

[Jordana Abraham]

And it was just very like, it was manly, like the way they like owned it. But also like I was it kind of gay? It was gay coded, you know, like, and, but that's why it was so unbelievable to me. This is like. And again, you have your assumptions of other people and what they're, you know, what their, you know, views are and who they like, who they hate. And you're watching these man's men, like men's men type. And they're just like. And 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and shimmy your gal. And you're like, this is crazy. And they got the hats on. And I was like, if I put on a cowboy hat and a plaid shirt and tucked it into my jeans that were skintight and cowboy boots, I'd be like, it's Halloween, right?

[Pumps]

I wouldn't feel comfortable.

[Jordana Abraham]

No. I would feel like a fraud. And that's not, I don't think they're frauds.

[Pumps]

No, not at all.

[Jordana Abraham]

All I would be like, my friends would be like, who are you trying to fool here? It's just, I, I. So I do come here and I do have this moment of like wide eyed, like, wow. And I kind of like, I appreciate, I like that. Like, I, that's why I'm. What I'm saying before is like, I'm. I think losing regional things is like a bad thing.

[Jared Freed]

Okay. I want to get to your list of grievances. Listener.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do people send this many usually?

[Jared Freed]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

I was wondering.

[Pumps]

Gold standard.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Because I have a lot and I've been adding to my list.

[Jared Freed]

I texted Jared and I said, hey, have you left for Oklahoma City yet? He said, no. And he said, what do I need to do to prep? And I said, text me a list of your grievances. Five minutes later, I get like a book, a published book. And so let's just, let's just go through each.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freed]

And every single one of them. Let's first talk about restaurant reviewers.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't like. Well, this is a very specific complaint right now. TikTok is like all restaurant reviewers. And like, they're like bringing you into this. Like you, it takes no personality. There's very little fun in them. They're just kind of explaining what the restaurant is. Right now the Corner room is like a big hot place in New York. And it's like. Cause Taylor Swift went there.

[Pumps]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

And it's like kind of like high end TGI Fridays is what the food looks like. Like, they have like a, they have a pig in a blanket. No. What do they have? No, they have Pizza Bites. They got Totino's pizza rolls. Okay, they have the pizza rolls. And fine. I'm going to like a pizza roll anywhere I get it from, whether it's from my freezer and it's been there 100 years. I'm going to like a high end pizza roll too. Like, if a chef was like, you know, when a chef looks at something and goes, I can do that, but I can do the chef's version, right? Yeah, of course. That's going to be delicious. But these reviewers never tell you what their financial situation is. Like, it's always young people, mostly women who live in New York, who are like the car. And they have no. Their voice never changes. Modulation just goes. The Corner Room in New York City has the most fire pizza rolls that you've ever had. And you're like, okay, who's paying the bills? Like, I need to know. Because how good something tastes when you go to a restaurant is directly related to how easy it is for you to pay your bills, right? Like, if you are struggling month to month for rent and you decide to take your one night out to have an $18 pizza roll, it better make you cum your pants. Because. Because. And if you're getting your rent paid for by, you know, Daddy Warbucks in Connecticut, and you don't worry about rent, it's pretty easy to say that Totino's Pizza Roll is fire and slaps. So, like, I need at the front of every review, who's paying the bills, how much you pay in rent? Is there a credit card that's shared between you and a parent? Because I don't need. Like, because what happens is we all forget. Like, you know, now it comes two years later, this person has a million followers and making a grand a month, right? And they got Patreon subscribers and they're like, please, you know, use my promo code. Well, let me know, you know, where the promo code came from. Like, I, I need to know. Like, is it promo code? Dad paid for everything, right? Like, I, I just need to know where this all started.

[Jared Freed]

Here's what I want Tik tockers to start doing. And I'm going to piggyback on your idea. I want one of these tik tok gals, restaurant reviewers, to start the video with. I've been on a ten day cocaine bender, right? I decided to get off and after 12 hours I was starving because I hadn't eaten in 12 days. So I went and I had these pizza rolls. They were so orgasmic. They were so fantastic. I ate so many. I'm certain I gained two to three pounds. So I think I'm going to graduate to meth. And that's what we need.

[Jordana Abraham]

And I paid for it with the rolled up hundred in my pocket.

[Jared Freed]

Exactly like it.

[Jordana Abraham]

There we go.

[Jared Freed]

That's what we need. I want the train wreck version of the Internet.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, that's the thing. There's no honesty. You're seeing everything through keyhole. That's, that's the problem with the Internet. And we all know that, like it's not like a, it's not an interesting take to be like, we're only seeing the good, but it's.

[Jared Freed]

We do. But Gen Z, a lot of gen zers don't know that.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know who the worst people are? These. That the couples comedy. Couples Comedy on, on TikTok, the husband and wife where the wife's like dancing on a table, she's like, I'm crazy. And then the husband's like, look at. She's crazy again. And then we're all supposed to like. It's all just like, it's all I Love Lucy. It's the most, it is the most hack garbage comedy I have ever seen. And it all has millions of views. So like I again, I'm making people mad because they're like. But I love seeing Laura get on the table. She's always dancing. He's a good husband. Like Jet and Pookie. Fuck off.

[Pumps]

Oh my God, they're the worst.

[Jordana Abraham]

Garbage, garbage, garbage. I mean, Jordana Abraham, who's my co host for the UA podcast, this is. She has brought me to the light. She was like, it's objectifying. She was like. Immediately she's like, she's an object. And this is Jordana's take. And I'm like, it's totally right for me. I look at Jet and it's like, that's not. That is infuriating to me because it reduces men too, to partners. Male partners. As you know, either tell me I'm wonderful or say nothing at all. Have no opinion other than I am a gorgeous queen goddess. And you see these women in the comments. Like, see, I just want to find a guy who can talk to me like this. It's like, yeah, no one talks to people.

[Jared Freed]

I'll tell you, ladies, you can find a man exactly like that at your local gay bar. I have been friends with gay men since I was 18 years old. They are effusive, they are complimentary. And I'm just saying.

[Jordana Abraham]

Wearing her bot, like, how does he know all these brands?

[Jared Freed]

I'm just saying, I have really good gayar. I'm just saying, I have excellent gayar. And I also.

[Jordana Abraham]

I would never.

[Jared Freed]

I want to say, because I know every listener thinks this when they see Pookie and Jet. I always look at that and I think, she's gotta him tonight.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I just don't. The. The dirty talk must be like, crazy. Pookie, those titties looking fine. Pookie, suck on my balls. Pookie, put down. What's the purse that she has? She's always got a new. What's the. Pookie, let me come in your Birkin bag. They're just such not real people. Like, I just want to see Pookie. There's no toilet paper. Like, I want to see them do some weird shit. Pookie shit on my chest. Like, I just want one real video from them.

[Jared Freed]

I agree.

[Jordana Abraham]

One real video. They named the kid Paloma.

[Pumps]

Oh, did they already have the baby?

[Jordana Abraham]

They apparently the Paloma. Like, I'm gonna have pokey. Let's name it after a daiquiri.

[Jared Freed]

This is what's so disturbing to me about this content.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

We are a nation that is becoming void of culture.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, I'm sorry to interrupt. I agree with you. I think things are so horrific to us. We're so scared of the world that these people, this unreality is kind of like, you know, is brain. It's. It's like making our brain ooze.

[Jared Freed]

Well, it's like we want to escape. I see Pookie and Jet in the same box that I see Stanley cups. These are not interesting things.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? Right.

[Jared Freed]

These are not something that you spend hours tending to and cultivating. Like, we do our grievances.

[Pumps]

Sure.

[Jared Freed]

These are not thought provoking things. One thing is just a fucking cup.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freed]

And two people, these other two people, it's total performative bullshit. And their real lives look nothing like that. Their conversations look nothing like that.

[Jordana Abraham]

And so you want to find your tribe. It's like, you know, Diet Coke. I wrote down people who think Diet Coke's their personality. Like, that's another Tribalism thing. Like, yeah, we know Diet Coke has existed for 40 years at this point, right? Like, no one. This isn't. There's no hot take. And I like diet, you know, but people are like, oh, but have you had the fountain soda at the movie theaters? That's elite. And it's like, yeah, I've had that too.

[Pumps]

Yeah, it's just that exciting.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay, I like it. Are we done with this conversation? We have nothing else to talk about. It's boring. Is that all you got? Like, anytime someone says, do you like fountain Diet Coke? I want to look at them and go, do you talk to your parents ever?

[Jared Freed]

Do you have friends?

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you have friends? Yeah. Does anything interesting ever happen to you?

[Jared Freed]

Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up. Wouldn't you say Pumps?

[Pumps]

I would say damn near psychotic.

[Jared Freed]

Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is.

[Pumps]

A Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.

[Jared Freed]

In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre order your copy now. Listener, I'm so excited to share with you that I have discovered a dog food subscription service that is the easiest and best I've ever dealt with. It's called Sundaes and what I like about it is it shipped directly to my front door. I don't have to refrigerate it. So if I need to take my dogs with me somewhere, I can simply put some in a baggie. And my dogs love the taste of this food. I am absolutely obsessed, as are my dogs, with sundaes.

[Pumps]

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[Jared Freed]

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[Pumps]

What I like about Aura is I can upload the photos directly from my phone. It's not super complicated, so even I can do it.

[Jared Freed]

I uploaded all of the photos of the last year. Our trips, dinners with family, the kids, sports games. And I put it on my Aura album so that when my family comes over for the holidays, they can see exactly what we've been up to for the last year. And then I just find myself staring at it from time to time, thinking, you know, that was a pretty good year. Listener save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's bestselling carver matte frames by using promo code. Had it. At checkout. That's Aura frames.com promo code. Had it. This deal is exclusive to listeners, so get yours now. And time for the holidays. Terms and conditions apply. Okay, now I want to show our listener a relatable side to you. Why don't you tell us about the Carlton Hotel in Cannes?

[Jordana Abraham]

So I knew. Well, I like adding some grievances that I know you guys will know.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

That no one else. The unrelatable grievance. Have you been to the Carlton and Cannes? I have, yes. I knew you have. I knew.

[Pumps]

I knew I've not.

[Jordana Abraham]

I knew one of you was going to be at the Carlton Hotel in Cannes.

[Jared Freed]

I'm the asshole that's been there.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. This is the most beautiful hotel I have, one of the most beautiful hotels I've ever seen. It is in Cannes, in Sofra, south of France. It is.

[Pumps]

I was like, what? Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

I was in Sofra for. We did. I went on a vacation there alone. Which to any straight man listening, which all three of you just don't go to Europe alone. That's my advice to you. Really.

[Pumps]

I would think it'd be a great hookup spot.

[Jordana Abraham]

No. For women. Women go to Europe because they can meet a guy who was, you know, they have predators there too, Right?

[Pumps]

But they also have cute, you know, foreign speaking men.

[Jared Freed]

When I.

[Pumps]

Well, I went when I was young.

[Jordana Abraham]

Foreign speaking men who want, you know, wanting to fuck a woman is international. There's no, you know, there's no. There's no borders to that.

[Jared Freed]

Hang on.

[Jordana Abraham]

Before being disgusted by American men is also borderless.

[Jared Freed]

Before we get to the door, the.

[Jordana Abraham]

Door at the Carlton, I just want.

[Jared Freed]

To share with you and the listener that when pumps was hell. 20.

[Pumps]

When I went, yeah, 20.

[Jared Freed]

Doesn't matter. 22 years old. She had a two to three day tryst I did in the south of France with a Frenchman in the south in Sofra. And his name was Roy and he.

[Pumps]

Didn'T speak English except all. He could sing every lyric in English to all Air Supply songs.

[Jordana Abraham]

I love. I love this. This is like a character out of a movie, right? So how did you. So you just go like. You point at a hotel like, well.

[Pumps]

No, I was staying there and he lived there, so he had an apartment. I think I. It's been so long now. But I think I met him like on the beach and I thought he was cute. He thought I was cute. Drunk, drunk, drunk. Go back to his hotel room. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. For beautiful two or three days. And then it was like, bye. And then I. You know, and then you look back and you think we never actually had a conversation because he only knew English to Air Supply songs.

[Jordana Abraham]

So what's an Air Supply song?

[Pumps]

I'm trying to think, like, lost in love. Are you too young for that?

[Jordana Abraham]

No, I would know an Air Supply song.

[Jared Freed]

Lost in love. I'm so lost without you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, it's like a. It's like a ballad of. I'm not so lost without you. So that's playing throughout the whole two day tryst?

[Jared Freed]

Yeah. Yes, it was. It was a romantic French, you know, sex me.

[Jordana Abraham]

All he had to say. I'm so lost without you. You're like, bring me to the hotel room.

[Pumps]

You said it. He was really cute, though. Of course. I don't even know if he had to say that. But yeah, it was like that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Good for you. I. Do you think he ever. Do you think he has any relation to this podcast? Like, you're out there. This is international.

[Pumps]

I'm sure he forgot Roy.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't think so. Roy, if you're out there.

[Jared Freed]

Roy, if you're out there.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're all out of love. And so lost without pumps. She's here. Ready to come again.

[Pumps]

Okay, good.

[Jordana Abraham]

Can you. But this is the thing, like, with, like, you know, I kind of envy your generation because this. This idea that you could go to Europe. You go fuck for a couple days. There's just no, it's goodbye.

[Jared Freed]

There's no follow up.

[Pumps]

No follow up.

[Jordana Abraham]

No follow up. No paper, no cell Phones, right? You have a hit podcast. You've become this big thing. There's no Roy being like, story time, right? I fucked pumps and she didn't even ask me any questions. Can you believe it? I didn't even speak English.

[Jared Freed]

She didn't care and quit it.

[Pumps]

I hit it and quit.

[Jared Freed]

We had the luxury of hitting it and quitting it.

[Jordana Abraham]

There's no quitting it, no strings. Now it's hit it and follow on Instagram and watch every story and, you know, pop in every now and again with a fire emoji.

[Jared Freed]

That's right. Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's what it is.

[Jared Freed]

A drunk text.

[Pumps]

Yeah, the drunk text. Now that is the huge problem.

[Jordana Abraham]

Drunk text. I, I'm okay about it. I'm, I'm not that bad. But I get them. And I, I think anyone who takes a drunk text, like, like anything but like laughing at a toddler, like, that's them at their most toddler form.

[Jared Freed]

Yep.

[Jordana Abraham]

Reaching out. Good for them. They had a fun night. Like, if I. When I see are you out tonight at 3am I'm like, good for that person. They, yeah, they had a nice night. Good. And like when I wake up to it at 7:00am, I'm just like, thank God I'm me. Good for them for being them. Like, I'm just so. No harm, no foul.

[Jared Freed]

All right, let's get back to the door.

[Jordana Abraham]

So I'm at the Carlton Hotel in Can, and we're there for Spotify with the Can Lions festival, which is this big marketing festival. And every hotel and every beach club is taken over by like meta, Spotify, LinkedIn. It's. It's basically like a, you know, a liberal's wet dream. You know, just every giant circle jerk. Right? Giant circle jerk. And we get brought in to do a one hour panel and that's it for Spotify to talk about podcasts and ads and stuff like that. So which is a great fun time. We're at the nicest hotel. And the door, the circular door, what is it called?

[Jared Freed]

Revolving.

[Jordana Abraham]

The revolving door is like not pushable. Like it would take three people to push the revolving door. And the whole week we're sitting, I'm watching people pushing this revolving door. You're at the nicest hotel in Cannes. You should see one person have to struggle with that door. And it should be like, bellhop, get over here. Like, how are we dealing? And then everyone's going to the other door. They're trying at once, going out of it, going to the other door. You're in the lap of Luxury. If anything should work, it's the door. Or there should be a door guy standing there being like, not this way, everyone, this way, someone. The. I just don't like when you have a high end, high end experience, right? And then we're just stepping over this one thing every day. There should be accountability here.

[Jared Freed]

This is, this is where I'm going to push back a little bit.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay?

[Jared Freed]

I appreciate this in the French. I appreciate the like, fuck you. Our door's broken, you lazy ass. Go to the other one. Problem solve. And I agree. I know you're gonna say it's the highest end. I agree with all of those things. But in the United States, everything's fixed, primed, you know, suck the dick of the capitalist. Go, go, go, go, go. The French are like, I worst type.

[Jordana Abraham]

Of human being is the French. You do awful because they take your money and then they act like money doesn't exist. You can't live in both worlds, right? You can't live in a world where we charge $1,200 a night for a hotel room and we're gonna make this about money. That is the French attitude. It's the same as like, what are you so angry about? Well, I'm angry that I'm spending a month of rent to spend a night at your hotel and I can't open the fucking door. Seven minutes of the night is spent wrestling with your door. That was a $5 door experience. I do think of money. The other thing, this is my problem with most things is this under expectation versus reality. I think that's where every frivolous grievance comes from. You expect a certain thing and then you get this thing that is under expectation. This is the same, you know, the. Again, it's the. It's the food reviewer I expect to be told by someone who knows their food, where I should go. Based on a rating system that relates to money in some way or another that lives in the real world, and then it ends up living in a fake, you know, fancy pants world of like, oh, wait, people pay rent, people have mortgages, people have children. Diapers cost money.

[Jared Freed]

You know, okay, how are you still single?

[Jordana Abraham]

I hate that question. That's why we ask it question in the world people ask. It's always married people because they, they want you to admit that you wish you had what they had. Which what they have is pretty awful from my vantage point. What they have seems pretty boring and not that fun to me.

[Jared Freed]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

But they want to make sure that you admit they're basically they're turning you into their relationship cuck. You know, they want you to grovel and say, oh, I just. I don't know what I could do because there's no good way to answer it. Like, let's say I answer positively right. How are you still single? Well, no, I like my life. I like it a lot. I like being single. Now I sound offensive, Right. No one believes that.

[Jared Freed]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or I go negative now I go sad town. Well, I guess maybe I just. I'm afraid of going to the next step and I should probably talk to a therapist about this. And, you know, I just. I don't know if I could love in the way I really want to love. You know, Like, I. That's not a conversation anyone really wants to have.

[Jared Freed]

Oh, right.

[Jordana Abraham]

So then how are you still single? I could go like, incel. Like it's these women, you know, like, there's no good option other than like, please set me up with someone. Please give me what you have. And it's like, I don't want what they have.

[Jared Freed]

Right.

[Pumps]

You know what this conversation tells me? No one asks me why I'm still single. Uh oh, that's a huge red flag.

[Jordana Abraham]

No one's complimenting you. Everyone knows.

[Pumps]

No one thinks. It's a mystery is what that tells me.

[Jared Freed]

Well, you know what, this reminds me. Okay, so we were in New York and we did the New York Comedy festival.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

And then we do a VIP meet and greet.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sure.

[Jared Freed]

And there was these women came and they said, hey, Palms, I just want you to know this man asked me to give you this note. But we pre read it to make sure it was okay. It's actually pretty sweet. And he has the hots for you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Love it.

[Jared Freed]

So they passed the note to pumps. We go, we do the VIP meet and greet, and then we go outside and there's like 25 people waiting for us outside the venue. And the show ended like an hour before. So we were kind of shocked at that. We're like, oh my God. Right? People are waiting on paparazzi. One of these. The guy who wrote the note didn't trust that the ladies, because they were like, what do you mean? Give this note to pumps. We're going to pre read this and like that. We're going to vet it. So he went to a restaurant, got a sack, a paper sack. And he re. Paper sack, a brown paper sack. He re. Wrote the love letter for pumps. And I have to say, it was kind of funny.

[Pumps]

It was really funny.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is it on the air?

[Pumps]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

Why not?

[Pumps]

It's at home.

[Jared Freed]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

Why wouldn't you read it?

[Jared Freed]

Well, you need to bring it. It says I'm a thousandaire. It was really clever with a million.

[Pumps]

Red flags, which I love red flags.

[Jared Freed]

He was 56.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, 56. Who was he at the show with? I think that's.

[Jared Freed]

No one.

[Pumps]

I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Came alone. Serial killer vibes.

[Pumps]

I didn't know it was him.

[Jordana Abraham]

Came alone.

[Pumps]

I never met him because we were passing through the people. I didn't know it was him.

[Jared Freed]

He gave me the paper size and said, will you please give this to Pun? I also gave her another note. I said, oh, did you give it to those two ladies? He said, yes. I said, oh, yeah. They pre read it.

[Jordana Abraham]

The note is cute as someone's really cute as someone with a dating podcast that talks about dating now. For over a decade in the modern age, this is kind of the what people want. The. In real life, the man and especially what women want. A lot of times a man making a decision. Pursuing. Deciding on them. Not being vague.

[Jared Freed]

This guy, it's a tangible note.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Pumps]

Right. And his number was on it.

[Jordana Abraham]

It is interesting, the thin line between people want and when it gets creepy. Because one note. This is beautiful. This is great. Now his. The next move has to be we text. We make a plan. The minute you go to the second note. Now, that is what, like, someone does who has captured your child. Well, no, you know, like, I want a million dollars.

[Jared Freed]

In his defense, he said, I rewrote the note because those ladies were kind of iffy if they were going to actually give it to her.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right, Right. And he was looking for safety. As far as to make sure this is.

[Pumps]

I didn't get a creepy vibe. I didn't get a creepy.

[Jordana Abraham]

So have we gone out? Did you text?

[Jared Freed]

No. I don't know. Have you texted?

[Pumps]

No, I have too many issues to ever respond to that. Like, I could be.

[Jordana Abraham]

Why? What. What. What's the other option?

[Jared Freed]

Let's talk about your issues.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Pumps]

Oh, I just have so many issues, Jared.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, your issue is that you're not taking, you know, the bait here. You. I mean, it's okay to not like it. I'm not saying.

[Pumps]

Right. But I just. Dating in general, I have huge intimacy issues that keep me.

[Jordana Abraham]

What are you looking for in a partner? Do you even want a partner?

[Pumps]

I don't really want a partner. Okay, so I'm really selfish. I'm not a huge prize.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, no. Well, your confidence is an issue right now. You just said I'm really selfish. I'm not a huge prize. Those are two different.

[Pumps]

Like, I wouldn't want to give up my nightly routine with my daughter.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. But there might be people who, if you found a partner that was like, you go to your house, I go to my house.

[Pumps]

See, that would be perfect. And out of state like once every month.

[Jordana Abraham]

This seems to be that. That guy could be the salute.

[Jared Freed]

I mean, maybe he could live in New York.

[Pumps]

Yeah. I mean, New York.

[Jordana Abraham]

You could meet him like Roy once, two days.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Tons of fucking sex. Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

He's the midlife Roy. Yeah.

[Pumps]

But I think he speaks English. My problem is talking. I don't like to talk a lot.

[Jordana Abraham]

What's to talk about?

[Pumps]

You just think banging out.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm all out of love I'm so lost without you I just wanna fuck Whenever you come to the city Every now and again Pumps we just wanna fuck Just blow me in leaves don't.

[Jared Freed]

Forget about Pookies Birkin.

[Jordana Abraham]

Pookies Birkin will be full of Jets. Come full of jets come Pookie's. Birkin is full of it. All day, all night. Pookie looking fire. Pookie, that vagina's looking fire. Even after you gave birth to Paloma Poogie, they stitched you up right downstairs. Like, when is Jet ever an.

[Pumps]

I bet he's a huge. In real life.

[Jared Freed]

I bet it.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't hope he's an. I hope they have like a normal life. I hope they have a very non problematic. But there's just more than meets the eye.

[Jared Freed]

You know why we know this? Because we have been whistleblowing on this for two years.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. It's.

[Jared Freed]

Whenever you see a performative couple, it is a red flag. Behind that performance is a multitude, an onslaught of fucking fucked up shit.

[Jordana Abraham]

I know because I've been in relationships. I lived with someone for a minute and I was just so annoying to them. And I would just. I enjoyed that. Like, I did enjoy annoying.

[Pumps]

You liked it.

[Jordana Abraham]

She didn't. I mean, I think that I would hope that some of it was cute to her, you know, in the beginning.

[Pumps]

It probably was, maybe.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. And that's what my dad does to my mom is just constant, like, messing with her.

[Jared Freed]

My husband.

[Jordana Abraham]

The idea that, like someone would, you know, again, you go to like a gala, you go to an event, you look beautiful tonight. You look amazing. To set up a camera and go, loogie looks fine. It's like, get out of here, loser.

[Jared Freed]

I know.

[Jordana Abraham]

I just think that that guy doesn't have friends. Like, all of my friends would be like, what are you doing with your wife on video? Right.

[Jared Freed]

That's fucked up.

[Jordana Abraham]

And then once they start making money, people like. They'd be like, what? You make what from that? And then they would be. They would go, oh, it's for the money.

[Jared Freed]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

But there's a beginning period hump to get over where my friends would be like, what? Wait, why do you just. Do you just compliment her? And then people watch and think you're a good guy.

[Jared Freed]

I'll tell you what bothers me about them more than anything on the planet.

[Jordana Abraham]

What's up?

[Jared Freed]

It's not Paloma before they. Before they got pregnant.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh. I mean, I've been here since the beginning.

[Jared Freed]

They have a French bulldog.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freed]

I worry a lot about that French bulldog in the same way that I worried about former Vice President Pence's pet rabbit.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freed]

When I hear that people like this.

[Jordana Abraham]

I didn't know he had a pet rabbit. That's crazy.

[Jared Freed]

Yeah. He moved it into the vice president's house.

[Jordana Abraham]

Pet rabbit hopping around.

[Jared Freed]

When I hear about people like this having pets, and in Pookie and Jett's case, I saw the video with the pet. I worry about the safety and well being and emotional growth for that pet. They have a French bulldog. We have French bulldogs. French bulldogs are needy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freed]

They require a lot of attention. They're very emotional creatures.

[Jordana Abraham]

You think all the attention is going towards Pookie?

[Jared Freed]

I think Pookie and Jet are bad pet owners.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's what I'm here to say.

[Jared Freed]

Wow.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's an accident.

[Pumps]

You heard it here first.

[Jordana Abraham]

Heard it here first.

[Jared Freed]

I really. I think that they are bad pet owners. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

He's got to watch all that weird sex they're having.

[Jared Freed]

Exactly.

[Jordana Abraham]

All that Birkin bag.

[Jared Freed]

To advocate for the French bulldog. That is a victim of Pookie and Jet's unbridled narcissism. And God only knows all the sex that you Describe.

[Jordana Abraham]

Here's a YouTube exclusive. You need to interview the Frenchie. And then I'll dress up as the Frenchie. Yes. And then it'll be me with a cigarette being like, I don't know. Pookie is fine. She doesn't say much. Jet, I mean, this guy, he fucked a Birken bag. He put his penis in a Birkin bag. I don't know what the hell he's doing. I have to watch that every night. They don't. They let me sleep on the bed. I don't want to sleep on the bed. I'd much rather sleep in the other room. They prefer I Sleep on the bed. You know, one night, Pookie pulled me aside and was like, what do you think of Jet? And I was like, can I tell you the truth? I think it's a little weird that he only compliments you and gives you no. You know, I could give you a few things that you should improve. I think you don't dress your age. I think you need to, like, rein it in a little bit. This guy's never gonna tell you. You're gonna think you're great your whole life. People are talking about you behind your back. I talked to the other dogs at the dog park, okay? I talked to them. Everyone's talking about you. He doesn't go down on you at all. He refuses to go down on you. He's that complimentary and he won't go down on you. Hand stuff isn't enough, Pookie, okay? His wrists are flimsy. I feel how he holds onto the leash. Okay?

[Pumps]

That's not an insane.

[Jordana Abraham]

See, I'm an actor too.

[Pumps]

Insane.

[Jared Freed]

Hey, I've had it, listeners. This episode is proudly brought to you by Lola V, an award winning hair care founded by the ever fabulous, ever iconic Jennifer Aniston Pumps. With holiday season in full swing, I have decided a little stocking stuffer for you might be Lola V. I love.

[Pumps]

Loave Restorative Shampoo and Conditioner. As you know, my hair was kind of breaking off and thinning and it made a huge difference. It smells great. My hair feels good and I feel like I kind of look more like Jennifer Aniston and Listener.

[Jared Freed]

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[Pumps]

I love Uncommon Goods because they have so many different options and most of their products are handmade, which means there's not a ton of them out there. And I also like they're from small businesses.

[Jared Freed]

That's right, listener. When you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. Many of their hand crafted products are made in small batches, so shop now before they sell out this holiday season. To get 15 off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com had it. That's UncommonGoods.com had it for 15 off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon Goods were all out of the ordinary. Pumps. You know, I love the holidays, but shopping can be so overwhelming and I try to get it done early. I went on to skims the other night. I was able to buy gifts for every member of my family. They have the best cottons, the best pajamas, the best robes. I personally only wear skims bras and panties. Now I've segued over to their PJs and their holiday shop is divine.

[Pumps]

I absolutely love every product from skims I've ever had. But the soft lounge sleep set that I got, I got it in red and green. I love it so much I can wear it even to the grocery store if I want to because it's so cute and so comfortable.

[Jared Freed]

Well, aren't you festive. I got the skims cozy robe as a little treat to myself. So while I'm roaming around my house for the holidays doing all sorts of domestic things, I'm so soft and fluffy in my skims robe. Listener Shop skimsholiday. [e-mail] available in styles for women, men, kids, and even pets. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Okay, we have to go to had it or hit it. You know this game.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freed]

Oh my God. Welcome to had it or Hit it. I would hit it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right. Had it or Hit it. Recycling.

[Jordana Abraham]

Had it. I think recycling is the dumbest thing in the world. If recycling was important, wouldn't we, like, have a. Like, wouldn't we just know recycling so well? Wouldn't that be, like, taught to us from such A young age and over the course of years that we would be like, how is it that I'm 39 and I go to the garbage and I'm like, what the fuck is compost? Yeah, the compost thing. If it was important for us to do, we would know how to do it in the same way we know how to drive and the same way we know how to merge onto a highway. If it was life or death, which I don't believe it is. You ever watch them take. You think the people at Starbucks are like taking the bags, the separate bags to separate places? No, they're putting it in one bag. And that's the problem I have is we as a country, US Citizens are forced to argue amongst ourselves and think someone's a good person or a bad person based on how well they do a recycling. When this is at the corporate level, this is at the government level, this is not our problem. We can't fix it, right? And now we are forced to judge one another based off of some family that's making money off of recycling. Like, you know, there's a. You ever meet someone, they're like, oh, that family made it all in waste management. Or, you know, they made it all in recycling. You go, oh, so some kid is like going to private school while I'm sitting there going, well, the plastic had food in it and I don't know if I can throw it away now. You know, like, I. I just think it's all bullshit. And it's made us look, it's become a religion for people think. People think they're good people because they recycle.

[Jared Freed]

Let me tell you something wild. Growing up in the 80s, it was common to have a milkshake in the car and you're sipping on it and you had a bench seat. You know, your mom was driving, you could go sit right next to her, you could just slide down the bench seat. You just roll down the window when you finished your milkshake and just toss, check it out. So with zero guilt, Zero nothing. And then they started this anti littering campaign. So then we decided we can't just throw shit out the window anymore because I did that all the time. And everybody did it.

[Pumps]

Yeah, everybody literally thought nothing of it.

[Jared Freed]

Through it now they're wanting us to recycle. And I'm like, I started on this journey throwing my shit out the window with reckless abandon. Zero guilt. Like a sociopath, genuinely.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, this is the.

[Jared Freed]

And now to try to get me to figure out that recycling is really.

[Jordana Abraham]

Difficult, we wonder why anxiety is at an all time high. It's because of stuff like this. Like, how about you just give us a big shoot to put everything in and let's just forget it. We did our best. Like, this idea that I'm a good person or a bad person, it's like creating OCD out of nowhere. I gotta like touch the garbage can three times to make sure that I recycled the right way. Like, I. And what you're saying is correct. I was in Austin, Texas. I got in an Uber. I was in the Uber. And the woman driver, she's in the front, she chugs a plastic water bottle, she rolls down the window and she hucks it out the window.

[Jared Freed]

Yep.

[Jordana Abraham]

And I was like, oh, my God. And I. You know what I did? And this is weird. And this is how diseased I am by the big recycle. I literally was like, I don't know what to do. So I took my seatbelt and I put it on. Like, as if that was related to, like, her throwing out the window. Like, well, what will she do next?

[Pumps]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

She might drive on the wrong side of the road at this point if she's willing to throw a bottle. That's how disease I am by this idea that, like, if you don't throw things away correctly, you must be a crazy person or a bad person. It's just affected me. So. I hate recycling. I hate when people tell you to have a reusable bottle. I hate when, you know, and all these reusable bottles are to make someone else money. Like, follow the money. Like, we are all just getting coaxed into this emotional thing. We're like being emotionally taken advantage of.

[Jared Freed]

All right, had it or hit it. Wedding dinner.

[Jordana Abraham]

Had it. I think the dinner at the wedding is the worst part of the wedding. If it were me, how I would change weddings. I'm having pass around hors d'oeuvres the whole night. I like it never stops. Keeps changing. In the beginning, it's more cocktail hour fare. And then as the night goes on.

[Jared Freed]

Slider sliders, pizza roll.

[Jordana Abraham]

Pizza rolls. And then you start getting into, like, you know, forkfuls of grilled chicken, little, you know, little cups of pasta. And then towards the end, you have dessert pass arounds. I want the waiters at my wedding to have done 30,000 steps by the end of the night.

[Jared Freed]

I agree.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think that's better. I think that is.

[Pumps]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Because we sit down for this dinner. It's like weirdly formal. No one wants the food. It's never good.

[Pumps]

Never good.

[Jordana Abraham]

And and no one's ever had it changes up the whole, like, energy. We have to sit for this.

[Jared Freed]

You're a hostage.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freed]

At least if it's hors d'oeuvres, you have the freedom to go, oh, my gosh, I've got to run to the restroom.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freed]

Even though you don't have to go to the restroom because you want to get the away from Jet.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freed]

Who's talking about a sex life at the wedding. So you're trying to run.

[Jordana Abraham]

Telling you how he a Birkin like Jet.

[Jared Freed]

That's right. And so. So that's. I don't like forced group meals and forced group activities. Let everybody be free, especially at a wedding.

[Jordana Abraham]

This also goes into another point where, you know, the feedback's gonna be, but what about Grandma and Grandpa? We should have an age limit at weddings. I think there should be no grandparents. I think we have to get rid. I think the upper age at weddings. I think 70 and younger. Everyone else, if they're over 70, we will have a live feed. We will have it going the whole night. They can watch on Zoom. We'll set it up in their, you know, their old folks home. And they can watch from home. And you know what? By the end of the night, they'll be appreciative. We'll send them like a basket. You know, those influencer packages. We'll send them a basket that, like, when they open it, a little firework goes off.

[Jared Freed]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, a picture of the love.

[Jared Freed]

It's a really good point that. Because two of my nephews recently got married, and it was a big thing, not on my side of the family, but on other people's side of the family. Like, well, what about Uncle Such and such, right? And he's like 89 in a wheelchair. And the bridegroom were having to make all these plans. Here's the thing that I want everyone to know. I'm 50, she's significantly older than me, 54. I don't want to go to weddings right now.

[Pumps]

No, I don't either.

[Jared Freed]

My desire to go to them when I'm 80 something will be even that much more diminished because. Because the one thing I've learned about getting older is your give a fuck meter breaks beyond repair.

[Jordana Abraham]

Just send the check. These old people.

[Pumps]

That's exactly right.

[Jared Freed]

Liberate the elderly. Don't make them be hostages at a wedding.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. We're doing them a favor. And at one point, we can put up a big screen and we can show them from their bed like Grandpa Joe, like A big wave. Yeah, they'll do a wave. Like, they're like the soldiers abroad on New Year's. Like, hey, we're here. And then we go, okay. Back to the ball drop. You know, it's like, okay.

[Jared Freed]

Had it or hit it, Marathoners.

[Jordana Abraham]

I've had it. I don't get it. I don't understand the need to run a marathon. I get, you know, again, what they do to you is they say, well, I'm raising money for this great cause. And do we need you to run to do that? I don't think we. How about you? You know, and I listen. It's not the marathon that I don't like. It's the people that go out after the marathon. After the marathon is the worst bar night of the year. Because it's like. You know when they say, like, New Year's Eve is like amateur's hour, right? This is amateur's hour from the worst type of human. Because the person who runs a marathon, they're like an a personality. They're waking up at 6am they never go out. They tell you, I can't go. I gotta get up for my run. They've been making you feel bad about going out for a whole year, right? And then on their big night where they're wearing a medal in a tinfoil blanket, they're out looking at everyone at the bar. Look, I'm out. Look at me, I'm drinking. Yeah, I'm a shot. I never have a shot. It's this big, like, elitism of, like, I never party, but this is the night I party because I just ran 26.2 miles. Like, that's what it took for you to go out. How about you're not a fun person? How about I regret giving? Yeah, you're narcissist. I regret giving to your. Whatever charity you represent. You have now made me hate this charity, right? The only night you go out is when you're wearing a medal that you didn't even earn. You didn't win. Like, think of, like, the awful person that the only night they let loose is when they've run 26.2 miles.

[Pumps]

Yeah, that's.

[Jordana Abraham]

I let loose when I get 2,000 steps, right? I walk to the bar, I'm like, wow, I deserve pizza after this.

[Jared Freed]

Okay? Had it or hit it. Reality show deniers.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't like when people hate reality tv. You don't have to watch it, right? You know, like, it's not like going to the bar after the marathon. We have to be in the Same bar. I have to be amongst these losers with a medal on, right? With a reality show. Change the channel.

[Jared Freed]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

You don't have to watch it if you don't watch a show. I don't care. I don't watch your shows. And then their big thing is like, it's not real. What is real? What show are you watching? What do you. You just watch the news and that's it. There's no place that takes you to a different place. You don't think. You think Ted Lasso's real? Reality shows. Yeah. Everything is not real. Everything is a version. I would say a reality show is more real than Breaking Bad. At least they're using their real names, right? You know, like, I just don't understand. And it's like, always their insecurities. I like the Bachelor. I think the Bachelor's fun. It's got a great arc. Starts with 30 people, then it goes down to one and they get engaged. That is a beginning, middle and end that you don't get a lot.

[Jared Freed]

Right? Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

So let me enjoy that. But what these people do, they. They go, oh, what is. You know, the men, they. All the men that hate the Bachelor, that are insecure, they go, oh, what does you fuck all the women, it's like, yeah, they do it on camera. It's a big porno on cbs. And then the women that don't like it, they're like. They're like, it's just not real. And it's like, sorry, your life is awful.

[Jared Freed]

I like it. Okay, Jared, thank you so much.

[Jordana Abraham]

Thank you guys.

[Jared Freed]

Thank you for coming. We'll see you guys next Tuesday or Thursday.

[Pumps]

I'll tell you what I've had it with, Jared.

[Jared Freed]

I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gay triots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called I Hip News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with a side of petty grievances.

[Pumps]

We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

[Jared Freed]

Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps, Pumps. What does an eagle say? Ca.

[Pumps]

Caw.

[Jared Freed]

A little bit more enthusiasm.

[Jordana Abraham]

Ca.

[Pumps]

Caw.

[Jared Freed]

That's it. That's. That's caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.

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