Protect the Voodoo Dolls

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I've Had It" – Episode: Protect the Voodoo Dolls

Release Date: April 29, 2025
Hosts: Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan
Guest: Monet

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Introduction

In the "Protect the Voodoo Dolls" episode of "I've Had It," hosts Jennifer Welch and Angie Sullivan engage in a vibrant and candid conversation with their special guest, Monet. The trio delves into a variety of topics that highlight their frustrations with contemporary societal behaviors, cultural practices, and political landscapes—all infused with their signature comedic flair.

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1. Party Etiquette and Timeliness

Monet kicks off the discussion by expressing her annoyance with people who adhere too strictly to punctuality at parties. She humorously laments her preference for last-minute arrivals to maintain her glam on the big reveal.

Monet (03:06): "If I'm starting at 7, you have to come at 7:05 because I'm still doing last-minute touches at 7 and I'm still in my moo moo."

In contrast, Jennifer and Angie reveal their strategies for socializing at events, opting to arrive early just to make their presence known before gracefully exiting.

Jennifer (03:27): "Tell me if I don't want to stay out late. But I want for sure for the host and hostess to know that I showed up. I'll show up five minutes early."

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2. Annoyance with Digital Small Talk

The conversation shifts to the pervasive nature of small talk in digital communications. Jennifer criticizes the endless and often superficial exchanges in DMs and text messages, likening it to a widespread "infection."

Jennifer (05:28): "A lot of nuggets dropped in DMs or in text messages, and it just doesn't end. Despite you using, like, a closing thumbs up emoji...it's like, now the small talk, infection, disease, it's infecting everywhere."

Monet and Angie echo her sentiments, highlighting the awkwardness and pressure to maintain conversations that feel forced and unending.

Monet (05:59): "Digital small talk is so annoying, especially in the DMs when it's someone you've never met before."

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3. Critique of Mega Churches and Religious Practices

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Jennifer and Monet's disdain for mega churches and certain religious behaviors. They critique the opulence and questionable practices within these institutions, drawing parallels between past televangelists and contemporary religious figures.

Monet (13:03): "Don't get me started on religion."

Jennifer (13:07): "These churches, my God, is that not the tackiest shit you've ever seen in your life?"

They discuss incidents such as pastors aggressively soliciting large donations and the superficiality of certain religious displays, comparing them unfavorably to more traditional and aesthetically pleasing religious architecture.

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4. Voodoo Dolls and Cursing Public Figures

In a playful yet pointed segment, the hosts explore the trend of using voodoo dolls to curse political figures like Donald Trump, J.D. Vance, and Elon Musk. Kylie shares a Wired article that highlights individuals hiring Etsy witches for these purposes, sparking a humorous debate among the hosts about the effectiveness and morality of such actions.

Kylie (21:05): "I found this. It says, curse Donald Trump, J.D. Vance, Elon Musk. It's only $3.74 a steal."

Monet advocates for expanding this approach to include other controversial figures, emphasizing their commitment to standing up against perceived injustices.

Monet (22:18): "We need an Elon Musk babe for Christmas."

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5. Prom Send-Offs in Black Communities

The hosts delve into the cultural significance of prom send-offs within Black communities, contrasting it with their own experiences. Jennifer shares a personal story about her son's involvement in a prom send-off, highlighting the elaborate preparations and communal support that accompany this tradition.

Jennifer (32:43): "My son Roman... He sent us a screenshot... It made me really happy... to see someone like her stick up for me and my bitches so publicly and with such intensity."

Monet elaborates on the grandeur of these events, describing them as community gatherings that celebrate the students' achievements and provide a memorable send-off to prom night.

Monet (32:43): "It's like this cultural thing where the parents... have cars, BMWs, Rolls Royces... take beautiful pictures... it's very sweet."

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6. Criticism of the Trump Administration and MAGA Movement

A substantial part of the episode critiques the Trump administration and the MAGA movement. The hosts discuss figures like J.D. Vance, mocking his appearance and inferring ulterior motives behind his public persona. They also condemn policies and actions they view as detrimental to marginalized communities.

Jennifer (40:47): "RFK Jr is not a scientist... he reads a bunch of junk science and then now he's dangerous."

Monet (43:53): "The Trump administration... they always... it's always sex... controlling sex."

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7. J.D. Vance's Makeup and Public Image

The hosts humorously speculate about J.D. Vance's personal life, particularly focusing on his makeup and potential hidden affinities for the queer community. This segment blends satire with social commentary, illustrating their disdain for his public image.

Jennifer (55:01): "I can see that. And he has like, some, like, some soft piano music playing in the background."

Monet (55:28): "I don't think it's that far off."

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8. Personal Stories and Social Observations

Throughout the episode, Monet shares personal anecdotes about her experiences coming out, facing familial support, and navigating social expectations. These narratives add depth to the discussion, illustrating the personal impact of broader societal issues.

Monet (35:47): "I was afraid to tell them... after I did it, I became my own town crier... we love you."

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9. "Had It or Hit It" Game Segment

In their recurring segment, the hosts play "Had it or Hit it," where they decide whether they "had it" (dislike) or "hit it" (like) certain topics or scenarios. This playful interaction underscores their frustrations and preferences in a lighthearted manner.

Monet (56:37): "Oh, God. I've had it with that."

Jennifer (57:20): "We will have to analyze. Have still shots, every single bit of it."

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10. Closing Remarks and Call to Action

The episode concludes with the hosts reflecting on their love for their country despite its flaws and urging listeners to stay engaged and fight for positive change. They also promote their upcoming podcast, "I hip News," encouraging audience support through ratings and subscriptions.

Monet (60:53): "I love our country because... my family has been here, we've helped build this country."

Jennifer (64:35): "Please go, rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind."

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Notable Quotes

• Monet (03:06): "If I'm starting at 7, you have to come at 7:05 because I'm still doing last-minute touches at 7 and I'm still in my moo moo."

• Jennifer (05:28): "A lot of nuggets dropped in DMs or in text messages...it's like, now the small talk, infection, disease, it's infecting everywhere."

• Monet (13:03): "Don't get me started on religion."

• Kylie (21:05): "I found this. It says, curse Donald Trump, J.D. Vance, Elon Musk. It's only $3.74 a steal."

• Jennifer (32:43): "My son Roman... It made me really happy... to see someone like her stick up for me and my bitches so publicly and with such intensity."

• Jennifer (40:47): "RFK Jr is not a scientist... he reads a bunch of junk science and then now he's dangerous."

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Conclusion

The "Protect the Voodoo Dolls" episode of "I've Had It" offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and sharp social commentary. Through their engaging dialogue, Jennifer, Angie, and Monet express their frustrations with various aspects of modern life, from social etiquettes and digital interactions to political figures and cultural practices. Their candidness and comedic approach provide listeners with both entertainment and insight into the issues they passionately address.

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Note: The timestamps included correspond to specific moments in the provided transcript to aid in locating notable quotes and segments within the episode.

Transcript

[Monet]

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[Kylie]

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[Monet]

A limited time only.

[Jennifer]

You know, Pabs, sometimes I think in my mind I'm still like 30. And then all of a sudden my son that goes to college in New York will FaceTime me and I am like, oh my God, who is that old woman in that screen? And then I think, you know, I've got to really get over this and I've got to put as much as I can into my skincare regimen. That's why I'm so happy to have discovered Cindy Crawford's Meaningful Beauty. Their products are amazing. My skin is the best it's ever been.

[Angie]

I feel like the meaningful Beauty products go beyond the surface level beauty because they really do make your skin so much better and it makes you feel better on the inside.

[Jennifer]

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[Angie]

Ready? 1, 2, 3.

[Jennifer]

Patriots gaytriots. They trots Woohoo.

[Monet]

Sorry, I got scared. I was so nervous.

[Jennifer]

I was so nervous, you guys. This is a big day in the big city. Big tits. Big tits in the big city is. Here it is. Monet Xchange. She is a Gay trio. She is a patriot. She is a theatriot. She is a black trio. She is all that and a side of chips. And she is an okc. Pumps has got on her push up bra. It is big tits, big time here in okc.

[Angie]

Two pairs of big tits right here.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. All right, so let's go around the table first. With what? We've had it with Monet. Let's do you just one little one before we dive into the big greens.

[Monet]

Okay, a little one. I've had it with people who show up on time for a party.

[Angie]

You would hate both of us.

[Monet]

If I'm starting at 7, you have to come at 7:05 because I'm still doing last minute touches at 7 and I'm still in my moo moo. So I need the last five minutes to run upstairs, do it off and to do the big reveal and come out looking fresh.

[Jennifer]

Do you want to hear something super cunty? That I do.

[Monet]

What?

[Jennifer]

Tell me if I don't want to stay out late. But I want for sure for the host and hostess to know that I showed up. I'll show up five minutes early.

[Angie]

Five minutes early, I will.

[Jennifer]

So they remember Jennifer was here and then within 10 minutes, you're out. I'm out? Yep. I'm in my pajamas, I'm fluffed up with my French bulldogs, living my best life.

[Monet]

What you say? You.

[Jennifer]

Is that diabolical.

[Monet]

You come at 6:55.

[Angie]

Yeah, I like to be the first one at a party because the host knows you're there and then you can leave. When people start getting there, then you just trickle out.

[Jennifer]

Is that straight people stuff?

[Monet]

That is very. The gays would never. The gays. The gays, they wanna be fashionably laid. They last minute they're stopping to get a bottle of Vu before they get to the party. They're coming at like 7:15, 7:20, for sure. Especially in LA. Oh my God. Everyone complains about the traffic. Baby, you knew the traffic was bad. You chose to be 20 minutes late and I appreciate you for it. Yeah, yeah.

[Jennifer]

All right, pumps. What have you had it with?

[Angie]

Okay, what I've had it with is when you're working out and people stop to visit, like you're just. You're having a social call and it's like I have a very finite amount of time that we' this. I don't want to chit chat.

[Monet]

I agree.

[Angie]

No chit chatting. I don't like it. Especially when your ears are in. That just goes all through me.

[Monet]

I agree. And then Also, at the gym, they'll be like, hey, Monet. Oh, my God, I'm a big fan. I'm like, hi, nice to meet you. And they're like, can I. Can we take a picture? I'm like, no, no. I'm, like, sweaty. I don't want to take a picture. And then they go, no, I don't mind taking a picture. It's not about you. I mind. I don't want to be sweaty. Hugging someone at the gym, taking your selfie together. Like, no. Like, just say hi, and next time when I'm dry, we can take a picture. Not when I'm sopping wet. Like. Like I'm flushed. Like, no, the gym is not a good time to chat or to take a selfie. Never.

[Jennifer]

It's not about you.

[Monet]

It's not about you. It's about me. I don't want to.

[Jennifer]

So let me tell y'all what I've had it with. It's kind of like pumps, but it's a little bit of a nuance. So I hate small talk. That goes without saying, and I think we're going to dive into that with you later. But this is a niche part of small talk. It's digital small talk.

[Monet]

Oh, yes.

[Jennifer]

A lot of nuggets dropped in DMs or in text messages, and it just doesn't end. Despite you using, like, a closing thumbs up emoji and making sure they see no bubble like this. We're pumping the brakes here with all this chitchat. And so it's like, now the small talk, infection, disease, it's infecting everywhere. It's infecting tech streams, it's infecting DMs, and I just feel like I can't escape it.

[Monet]

Yes. Digital small talk is so annoying, especially in the DMs when it's someone you've never met before. So you're trying to give, like, you said, a finite. Like, this conversation has ended, so we can be like, okay, I said something cool. You said something cool. We're fine. And then it continues on and lingers on, and you feel the pressure to continue the conversation, and it's awkward and it's weird, and it's some celebrity that I'm a big fan of, but now it's awkward and you're asking me these weird questions. Did I feel the need, Like, I need to be cool the whole time and, like, give a cool answer? And I hate the digital small talk. It's annoying.

[Jennifer]

And it's weird that you can feel awkward about A text message, right? Like, I've been in person. You get feeling awkward, but I've been like, oh, my God, how do I respond to this? What do I say? What do I do? Why are we even talking? Like, okay, I'll just do a thumbs up. And then, you know, they think that you're the biggest bitch on the planet, and it's just exhausting. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer.

[Angie]

I'm Angie.

[Monet]

And I'm Monet.

[Angie]

Monet.

[Jennifer]

We are America's top throuple. America's top DEI podcast coming at you live from Action City.

[Angie]

Action City.

[Jennifer]

Big Tits in the big city is here. That's Pumps, of course. And oh, my God, Monet.

[Monet]

Yeah. I just have to say thank you, ladies, A, for having me on, but B, for just being these beacons of light, letting these fuckers have it on the Internet. Y'all don't take shit. Y'all don't take any shit. Y'all. Y'all. Y'all don't mind literally eviscerating these fucking. Every time a clip comes on Twitter, on TikTok, on Reels, I'm like, thank God for you two beacons of hope in this shitty time we're all living in.

[Jennifer]

You know, it's so important that we stand up for everybody and that democracy is for everybody.

[Monet]

Everyone. Yeah.

[Jennifer]

We don't cherry pick who gets freedom of expression or freedom of speech. And for me, the most marginalized people are the people we should protect the most. And I just think it's super important. I want to read you guys a text message that my son sent me.

[Monet]

Awesome.

[Jennifer]

So I got in a fight with this Democratic strategist, Rahm Emanuel.

[Monet]

I saw it. I saw the clip. I saw the clip. So he's saying the whole thing. You go, that is fucking bullshit.

[Angie]

Bullshit.

[Monet]

My mom sent me the clip. She was like, I love her. I was like, I have a surprise for you.

[Jennifer]

You're gonna see. Okay, so my son graduated high school with a trans woman. And once she graduated is when she transitioned. And my son has stayed in contact. And so her name is Aiden. And she sent my son. And they haven't spoken in, like, a year. So the following text message after seeing that clip, dylan, I hope you're holding up all right and that life is treating you kindly. I'm messaging you because I saw a video of your mom telling Rahm Emanuel tearing, rahm Emanuel, a new asshole, in defense of transgender. And it made me really happy. And if you're willing, it would be so Epic. If you could let her know that I really appreciated her for doing that and that she could, she should keep up the good work and that it makes me feel a little bit better about our current political situation to see someone like her stick up for me and my bitches so publicly and with such intensity. And particularly, it's nice to see someone like her really insist on the importance of protecting trans people. To the Democratic Party operatives who want to sacrifice and dispose of us. She really tore, I must say.

[Monet]

Oh, so good.

[Jennifer]

So when you do something like that and then I just get ripped on Fox News, which I have thick skin. I wear my big girl panties.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

I choose every day to sit in front of this microphone, unlike Donald Trump and Elon Musk. I'm not a titty baby, and I will not sit here and be a victim. But when your son, who's a senior in college at Syracuse and some friend of his sends him this. Yes, this. You have to multiply in every state, in every small town. And these people exist everywhere. And if it made them feel like somebody was fighting for them, then I'm going to rev up the fight even more.

[Monet]

Oh, I love it so much. You know, she's Gen Z because she ended it, or Generation Alpha with she tore.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, tore.

[Monet]

Honey, I've heard that before.

[Angie]

That tells you I'm shit.

[Jennifer]

I tore. Pumps.

[Angie]

I tore.

[Jennifer]

Okay, let's check in with the power lesbian sect of the podcast. Kylie, how are you?

[Kylie]

I'm good. How are you?

[Jennifer]

Monet, tell our listener how fabulous and power Leslie Kylie is.

[Monet]

I walked in and I almost converted to lesbianism. She looks so stunning. The outfit is so cool. She's gorgeous. She's like a model. Height, probably six, seven, I imagine. Yeah. Kylie's favorite. Fierce.

[Jennifer]

She's fierce.

[Kylie]

Listen, I picked this outfit out two days ago in preparation for.

[Jennifer]

Oh, my God. It was a 48 hour Monet. 48 hours prep.

[Kylie]

Yeah, 48 hours.

[Angie]

Did Anna pick it out or did you pick it out?

[Jennifer]

I did.

[Angie]

Really?

[Jennifer]

Her girlfriend? You want to talk about, like, the prettiest Leslies you've ever seen?

[Monet]

When you see two people who look good in a relationship together, you're like, God damn it. I'm like. I'm playing ping pong by myself. Am I really? No, I'm kidding. I work with Me, too. No, but when you see two beautiful lesbians together, specifically, they're both fashionable. They're both gorgeous. And Ferris, I really feel like God gave me the short end of the stick. I should have been a lesbian. Oftentimes I think I should have been a lesbian.

[Angie]

I think I should have been, too.

[Jennifer]

I think I should have been a lesbian, too.

[Monet]

I wish I was.

[Jennifer]

Here's the thing that I've come to realize. Lesbians are greater than all others.

[Monet]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

They're better in sports. They're better in work settings. They're better friends. The one thing that I think would be exhausting about lesbianism.

[Monet]

Tell me.

[Jennifer]

Is a lot of emotions. Like, Kylie and Ana have matching tattoos. They get photographs professionally taken together. There is a lot of public French kissing. I don't think I'm a good candidate in that regard because, like, if my husband's ever too clingy with me, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?

[Monet]

Oh, my God. I think we're the same person. Like, my. Me and my boyfriend, we've been together for three and a half years now, which is like 30 years for gay men. And, like, I. He's very. Like, he is the lesbian in our relationship. Like, he wants to be on top. Like, if we're on. If we're on the couch together, I can sit on this side, you can be over there, and we can watch a whole movie together. And I feel like we have spent a great time together. He wants us to be on top of each other.

[Angie]

Just needy.

[Monet]

Yeah. He is that. Which I love that sometimes. But most times I'm like, give me my space.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. Sometimes it's like, hit the bricks. I'll let you know when it's time to do that. And then immediately after complete separation. Don't want to hug. Don't want to cuddle. Don't need it.

[Monet]

Don't need it at all. Should we get married?

[Jennifer]

Totally. Oh, my God.

[Monet]

We'd be the hottest, beautiful babies.

[Jennifer]

Oh, my God. Yes. Okay. Kylie, what is the Internet saying about. I've had it.

[Kylie]

Okay. Up first, we've got a review, five stars. That says, they may not praise Jesus, but these ladies are doing the Lord's work. Keep it up.

[Jennifer]

Amen.

[Angie]

Amen.

[Jennifer]

Hallelujah.

[Monet]

Yes. Praise the Lord. Honey.

[Angie]

Like this?

[Monet]

Yeah, like that. Just like that.

[Jennifer]

That's the megachurch.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Angie]

People on the coast don't understand what this is.

[Monet]

No, no. Yeah. That is a very, very megachurch behavior.

[Jennifer]

Very megachurch. We have had it with Megach.

[Monet]

Oh, my. Don't get me started on religion.

[Jennifer]

Oh, I could go on. I could start now and finish on my deathbed.

[Monet]

100%. I can't for the life of me. I don't get it. I don't get these people who make $40,000 a year and you feel inclined to give 4,000 of that 10% of your income to these people who have private jets, have mansions, are living these lavish lives and you can just on.

[Jennifer]

Top of all of that and this is just something that's tangible that I always like to propy the architecture.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

These churches, my God, is that not the tackiest shit you've ever seen in your life? If you're going to be that rich, hire a goddamn good architect. At least the Catholics did that for God's sake.

[Monet]

Yeah, the Vatican is gorgeous.

[Jennifer]

These nouveau Christians and their taste is just awful. Have you seen what Trump's done to the oval office?

[Monet]

Oh my God.

[Jennifer]

It is hobby lobby sheet. Somebody online said dictator sheet.

[Monet]

Like the, like the gauche and gaudy gold everywhere. It's just so, it's awful. So now the next person that comes in has to like destroy all of it and make it look chic and fashionable.

[Jennifer]

Here's the thing. You know what that stuff is? They're little applique things they bought at gay hating hobby lobby and somebody spray painted it. And I can tell you this much. You can tell how anti gay this administration is based on two things. The decor of the oval office and the makeup and hair and the crosses of all the maga women speaking on his behalf. There are no queens involved in that administration at all.

[Monet]

At all.

[Angie]

Donald Trump doesn't have a. I mean a gay stylist. Obviously not.

[Jennifer]

This episode of I've had it is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. Every time I use booking.com I find a place to stay in the U. S. I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals channels and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that booking.com has something for everyone. Recently I took my oldest son and his girlfriend to New York City. They wanted to stay in Soho. Through booking.com I was able to find the perfect hotel for us.

[Angie]

What I like about booking.com is I can find a great vacation rental where my kids and I both have our own space and we have a common area to enjoy so we don't get sick of each other.

[Jennifer]

Listener no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah.

[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

All right, Kylie, what's. What's our next.

[Kylie]

This one is five stars, titled I can dig it. And they write I might be the only straight white male who listens to the show, but whatever, I love it. It's nice to know there are still some people in Oklahoma that aren't full maga. I live in California, but had a friend that moved out to Oklahoma a couple years ago because her husband got some job. She was very Liberal, but within six months of moving there, she did a 180 and went full MAGA. I don't know what's in the water over there, but after she told me she supports fascism, I had to cut her completely. Anyway, love the show. Keep up the great fight.

[Jennifer]

I'll tell you what, I love our DEI listener.

[Angie]

I do, too.

[Jennifer]

I love the straight male DEI listener.

[Monet]

I love a token straight male.

[Angie]

Yes, Everybody needs a token straight.

[Jennifer]

We need our straight male allies.

[Monet]

Yeah, for sure.

[Jennifer]

For women, for the LGBTQ community, we need white men to align with us.

[Monet]

Yeah. Now is their time. Like, now is their time to step up and be like, you know what? For centuries, my people have been absolutely horrible. So now I'm gonna step up and be the best straight white man I can to women, to gay, to trans people. Like, now is their time to step up.

[Jennifer]

Truly.

[Monet]

Yeah, it truly is.

[Jennifer]

But instead, you know what they're doing? They're having a stage five meltdown. Titty babies.

[Monet]

I love titty. I'm using that. Titty babies.

[Jennifer]

Okay, I have a new story I want to share with you. In puns. You guys, this is wild. Okay, there is a viral study. A viral study shows the stark difference in popular baby names between blue and red states. Okay, blue girl names. Fiona, Liana, Mira, Miriam, Kira. Miriam, Nina, Aisha. Or Asia. I don't know. Paige and Kayla. Okay, red state girl names. It's all the Patty. Oakland is spelled O, a, K, L, Y, N, N. Oh, God. Oakley is spelled O, A, K, L, E, I, G, H. Gracelyn, Renly. R, W, R. Wait, W, R, E, N, L, E, Y. Blakely Collins. Another Oakley Oak. Why what's this with Oakley Saylor S a Y L, O R and then another Oakley, O a K L E Y.

[Angie]

Okay, here's the claim.

[Jennifer]

We all know now. If we ever meet somebody named Oakley, red flag. Turn around and run as fast as you can. If you meet a male named Oakley Oakley, you cannot.

[Monet]

It gots to go.

[Jennifer]

You cannot hit it.

[Monet]

Okay, wait, why are. Why are red states. Why are Republicans obsessed with oak? Like, what's with oak?

[Angie]

I don't know. Is it like. It's like a big tree. So is it a phallic? I mean, I have no idea.

[Monet]

Probably.

[Angie]

It's just. Here's the thing. All of these baby names, like immediately when I saw it, before I even got my glasses on, I was like, of course. Yeah, we've been sounding the alarm on this. When you try to make your kid's name something different and you spell it all fucked up that they have to spell it every single day for the rest of their lives, they're never gonna outgrow this stuff.

[Jennifer]

It's child abuse.

[Angie]

They're never gonna outgr your child.

[Jennifer]

A name like, let's say Jennifer. Like, I know this poor woman named Jennifer, which a lot of people who were born in the 70s. I know I look great for my age, but.

[Monet]

Oh, great. Fabulous.

[Jennifer]

A lot of women that were born in the seventies are named Jennifer. And this one friend of mine, her name is spelled G E N I F E R. That why the parents had a moment when they were young and dumb and they thought, this is going to be so fun. That is a life sentence of trait. Just do a normal spelling.

[Monet]

A normal spelling.

[Jennifer]

Which is walking around with your kids names.

[Monet]

Yeah, I know. An Ashley is spelled A, S, L E, I, G, H, K, T. Shut up. Yeah, it's strange. It's very strange. She's from Brooklyn. Hey, Ashley from Brooklyn. We went to middle school together. How you doing, girl? Hope everything's well. But it's a strange. Like, why do you spell names like that?

[Angie]

I hate it.

[Monet]

It's annoying.

[Angie]

I hate it.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Okay, now Kylie has found something online that she and I reviewed and I want her to do a presentation for Monet and pumps. This is just wild. Okay, let's pass it to the power Lesi.

[Kylie]

Okay, so this is a Wired article titled you too can hire an Etsy Witch to curse Elon Musk. Article goes on to say, in the days following the presidential election, Riley Winkus was angry. Specifically, she was angry at billionaire X owner Elon Musk for the role he played in President Elect Donald Trump's victory. So Reuse turned to a solution she'd used for other personal problems in the past. She hired a witch on Etsy to curse him, and it only cost her $7.99. She says, I really just love the idea of supporting a small business and sending ill will to someone that I hate.

[Monet]

Oh, wow.

[Kylie]

And then it goes on to say, seeking out witches, psychics, mediums, and other purveyors of magic or mysticism during times of change or uncertainty has been happening for centuries. Following Trump's first election in 2016, US witches did a mass spell to try to bind him. Witches on TikTok and Instagram similarly hexed Trump and his supporters in the wake of January 6th insurrection. And then I did a little deep dive of my own on Etsy to see what I could find. I found this. It says, curse Donald Trump, J.D. vance, Elon Musk. It's only $3.74 a steal.

[Angie]

Totally money well spent.

[Kylie]

And this is the description. It says, upset over the 2024 presidential election results or just have a strong hatred for Donald J. Vance or Elon Musk. I've got you covered with this curse. This is a curse I've been doing for years, and it always bring about lots of bad luck and chaos to the lives of those it's cast on. Let's get back at Trump, Vance and Musk together by creating hell with them with this curse. I found another. There's a bunch of these voodoo dolls.

[Jennifer]

Oh, one of our listeners gave us some. We have them. Yeah. We have a 10, Ted Cruz, a Donald Trump, and J.D.

[Angie]

Vance.

[Monet]

We need an Elon Musk babe for Christmas. You know what I want? I want to voodoo doll of the entire cabinet and throw in Marjorie Taylor Greene and Nancy Mason there, too.

[Jennifer]

Agree. The whole. Yeah, a lot of them.

[Monet]

Yeah. I mean, those hexes are clearly working. Do you have to see how bloated Trump looks recently? It looks like he's gonna think he.

[Jennifer]

Looks like a goddamn bubble tip.

[Monet]

He really does. Any day now.

[Angie]

He looks like an Easter egg.

[Jennifer]

We were.

[Angie]

Jennifer and I were talking on the podcast, like, why doesn't he get on Ozempic? That would be such an easy deal. Literally. My phone shows me this article that says, Trump's looking so good lately. People think he's on Ozempic and I'm like, the gaslighting.

[Monet]

Oh, my God. No, he does not.

[Angie]

He does not. He looks terrible.

[Monet]

And Elon Musk is.

[Angie]

Nobody would fuck him unless he had money.

[Jennifer]

Let me ask you this, Monet as a drag queen. And when you see all of the anti drag vitriol coming out of maga, and then you see Trump every single day wear orange makeup. And you see the Vice President of the United States whose nickname that I have named him is smokey eye sociopath JD Vance. He's always popping a smokey eye.

[Monet]

Oh, for sure.

[Jennifer]

And then you find out that the Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth has put a makeup studio at the Pentagon, which. That's super masculine. How do you feel? Like what? Like what the fuck?

[Monet]

Yeah. To me, I just, it just seems like this attack on drag is like, it's. The call's coming from inside the house. Like these fuckers, they want to do drag. They are doing drag, right? I feel like it's just like obsession with. I think it's an obsession with how free and liberated drag queens feel like how we live their lives.

[Angie]

And that's what Jennifer says all the time.

[Jennifer]

Here's what I think, okay? I have a theory. I think that a lot of these MAGA men watch a lot of pornography, okay? And when they're watching porn, sometimes they see a hard rock penis and that excites them. That's the money shot. Well then after that then they're like, oh shit, that was kind of gay. I wasn't looking at the girl. And so then they feel bad and they're praying and you know, Jesus megachurch, $4,000 of their salary, et cetera, that we reviewed earlier. So then they're like, God, that was pretty exciting. So then they're back on pornhub and then they're going deeper and deeper. And then I think they're so insanely jealous because. Because out of the closet gay men and women, or you know, non binary queer, whatever, all the, all the letters are the bravest people in our society because to, to come out and feel safe enough, to be vulnerable, to be ridiculed, to be bullied, to not be perceived as normal and to do all of that despite that takes a lot of bravery. And then once they get there, all these queens are like, I'm gonna have great fucking sex. So they have this shame free sex because they've already done all this hard emotional work. And I think these MAGA men get a little aroused by hard rock cocks and they're insanely jealous of gay men because you guys just have unemotional transactional sex when you want to, if you want to. You want to have a relationship style sex, you can, but you have removed the shame from sex. And they live in that I agree.

[Monet]

A million percent with that, with that assessment of the situation.

[Jennifer]

Thank you.

[Monet]

I really do. I think that there's something about seeing how free and open or how not when we don't wanna be, that we allow ourselves to be that way. And they are so stuck in whatever situation that their families or whatever they've chosen to be in that they will never ever know that. And it pisses them off to no end. And they are jealous, they're angry, they're pissed that we get to have it and they don't. And that's the number one, that's the thing that they hate. They like to keep things for themselves and not let anyone else have it. So I think that's what really gets their goat.

[Jennifer]

And the number one thing they try to control, whether it's the mega churches mag, get whatever. They always. It's always sex. It's always, you know, the abortion issue is really because they don't want women having sex. And so their idea is, oh, well, if they sled around and they get pregnant, everybody should know. And then maybe in their fucked up minds, they think that woman's a little bit less fuckable if she has a baby. Not even taking into account the majority of abortions are done for reasons that aren't a birth control style situations. But they don't care because it's all about controlling sex. And then when you get to the liberated, like, pride parade and just how I love how like, you know, Roman and Greek it is, it's just like, there's no shame. Just pop it out, have fun with it. And I think they're just so jealous.

[Monet]

I think they're so jealous too. And something I'm jealous is how beautiful y'all skin.

[Jennifer]

Oh, thank you.

[Monet]

What's with the water here in okc?

[Jennifer]

Well, I'll tell you what, our little Botox spas right over here across the street and we've been. Have you been doing that?

[Angie]

I need to. I'm doing in face next week.

[Jennifer]

Yeah, we did this thing in Face. It hooks up to your face and it's like exercises.

[Monet]

Okay, can y'all send me the. I wish. I'm here for two days. I will go and make an appointment. Y'all look great.

[Angie]

All of it.

[Jennifer]

Thank you.

[Monet]

Well, thank you.

[Angie]

Compliment.

[Monet]

I'm gonna watch on camera. I'm like, in person. I mean, person. I'm like, oh, my God.

[Angie]

Kylie here again.

[Jennifer]

Here it is again, everybody. So we did this podcast, right, for like a year. And then they were like, y'all need to go on tour. We're like, we're not going on tour. And the people at our agency were like, trust us, nobody's gonna show up. They said, trust us, people are gonna show up. So we go on tour and then we have this like, VIP meet and greet. Okay, okay. So people would walk up to us and they'd go, oh, my God, you guys are so pretty. And we were just like, Kylie puts a hammered dog shit filter on the computer because the shock and awe, it's shock. But I will say, okay, one time we were in la.

[Monet]

Kylie doesn't filter the opposite way. So people can be shocked irl.

[Angie]

It's like a bad profile picture. We look worse in photos than we do in person.

[Jennifer]

But one time we went, we went. We were in Los Angeles, we had a live show there, and we go. We arrive from lax, we go to the concierge desk, and we're like, hey, we need to make sure the hair people and the makeup people are in our room at this time. And the guy's like, yeah, okay, sure, no problem. So we go to our room and like five hours later, we come back down to the concierge desk and this guy, two gay guys behind us, this guy goes, wow, I didn't even recognize. I didn't even recognize you guys. You guys look great. I mean, he was. His jaw beyond.

[Angie]

He was still talking about the next.

[Jennifer]

Day when we checked out.

[Monet]

He was.

[Jennifer]

He goes, hey, I can't get over how good y'all looked last night.

[Monet]

You know what? That's good. That's money well spent.

[Jennifer]

That's right.

[Monet]

That's money well spent for sure. You see, that's what I like about the gays, though. The gays, we keep it real. We're honest with girl. Okay, that was great. You look fabulous.

[Jennifer]

Of course.

[Monet]

You want that? That's good.

[Jennifer]

Okay, let's get into your habits. Yes, you emailed us. I'll put this list in front of you here if you would like to review.

[Monet]

Oh, my God.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Monet]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Monet]

I've had it with big dogs on an airplane when I spent my well earned money on a little first class seat and. Cause I'm allergic to dogs and cats and, well, dogs that have fur. Like, if it's like a schnauzer or a poodle, I have real hair, I'm fine with. But when I have fur, it's off. And girl, one day I check into this and I'm like, you know what? I had to sing the next day, I think at Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra. And I Was doing a big concert and I was like, I'm trying to do all my things. I'm wearing my mask, doing all my. I get to my seat and when I tell you a dog the size of a great Dane is like sitting between me and his owner on the thing, I'm like, how is this legal? I thought they have to fit under the seat only like. And the dog is like almost eye level with me. Looking at me in the seat, I'm like, what? This is crazy. So if it's a dog that fits under the seat, normally I'm fine with it. But when it's a human sized dog, like a child chow sitting next to me in first class, it's. I've had it with that. I can't deal with it. It's too much for my dog allergies.

[Jennifer]

I have to say. Like, when I see a dog on a plane or anywhere, it makes me happier. I would rather fly on a plane with dogs than people.

[Monet]

Well, that is true. People are horrible.

[Jennifer]

Oh my gosh. I remember what I wanted to talk to you guys about. Okay, so my son Roman, my. My other son that still lives at home, he's a senior in high school. So his really good friend Jaden, he. They played AAU basketball together. And Jaden sent us this screenshot and it was like a picture of him and he was like in a text and it was like, please come to my prom send off. And it had a time and so I was just like, ha ha. Like, I didn't know if that was real or what that was.

[Monet]

Prom send up meaning like when like all the families get together to watch the kids go off to the prom and take pictures. Pictures and stuff like that.

[Jennifer]

Okay, So I mean, I don't know. And so I didn't know what the proms, why we were invited because my kids go to different schools, et cetera.

[Monet]

Okay, got.

[Jennifer]

So that night, Roman and I are having dinner and my husband gets home and he goes, did y'all go to Jaden's prom send off? And I was like, no, that's ridiculous. What's a prom send off? And my son Roman goes, mom, that's a culture thing. You can't be like that. Cause Jayden's black. And I was like, what do you mean? He goes, that's just their culture. They have a big prom send off and they invite people to go and you need to not be like that. And he like, totally checked me. So tell me.

[Monet]

I love your kids. Your kids sound amazing.

[Jennifer]

They're cool. So Tell me like. Cause of course I love Jamie. Tell me about the cultures. I've never heard of the prom send off in black communities.

[Monet]

Girl, the prom send off, it's like the pre prom social hour before the prom. So all the families get together in the neighborhood. Cause typically all the kids in the neighborhood go to the similar schools. And they all get together and they have cars, BMWs, Rolls Royce's. All the cars that the kids are gonna take go to the prom in. And they get together, take all these pictures. Sometimes they get really extravagant. I'm like, girl, it's not a wedding, it's a prom. Like, calm down. It's a little much like the gowns are crazy. They have very Cinderella. Like a big pink carpet is rolled out. I think that's a little much. But the send off, it's like this cultural thing where the parents after. You know, I'm sure raising kids is not easy. So you have done the hard time of 18 years.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Monet]

This kid is finally going to a ball. It's kind of like a little send off. Like after 12 grades of hard work, come in this beautiful outfit, take beautiful pictures, and we're gonna send you off to the prom and have a good night. Night.

[Jennifer]

So let me tell you what white people do.

[Angie]

Well, let me ask this question. So do you get to take picture? Like, if she would have gone, would it have been appropriate for her to take pictures with the person that invited her? It doesn't have. Just not. Okay. Okay. That's how white we are. I'd never even heard of it.

[Jennifer]

Well, and so Roman, I mean, he immediately goes, mom, it's the culture. Like, why are you. Why are you poo pooing on the culture? And I was like, you know, I love Jaden Nickens. He calls me Mama Jen. Like I'm. I've known that kid since he was in second grade. And I didn't know. I thought he was like grandstanding, but being sent off to the prom. And I got checked borderline called, you know, not an ally of the black community, which good on my 18 year old son.

[Monet]

I love it.

[Jennifer]

But okay, so for Rowan's prom, it's just like you get together at some parent's house and everybody does some different combination groups of photos and then skirt and that's it.

[Monet]

No, it has to be more grand.

[Jennifer]

See, I like the culture.

[Monet]

It's really sweet. Cause, you know, because grandparents come.

[Jennifer]

Did you go to prom?

[Monet]

I did not go to prom.

[Jennifer]

You didn't?

[Monet]

I didn't. I went to a performing Arts school, which was inherently a very queer experience. I was still a little gay in the closet, you know what I mean? So no one asked me to go. And there was a boy I wanted to ask, but I was afraid to ask him. So me and my friends fucked off and went to the movies or something. And I didn't go to the prom that year.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Monet]

And you know what? I don't regret it.

[Jennifer]

I don't think you should. Because first of all, proms are overrated.

[Monet]

They are always. They're expensive. Yeah. So, yeah, I didn't go to prom.

[Jennifer]

But I bet that could be. That's probably a lot of the gay experience that. That's, you know, you get to a point where, like, you're, you know, you're probably gay. And then if you take a girl.

[Monet]

Exactly.

[Jennifer]

I'm like, there's an expectation. You're gonna have to get it up for. That can be exhausting.

[Monet]

That happened to me on a field trip on junior year.

[Angie]

Oh, no.

[Monet]

So I went to school in New York, and they took us. They were taking us on a field trip to see the fucking capitol in Albany. Why the fuck are we going to see this? The governor's house in Albany? Anyway, it was an overnight trip. So we're on this bus, and I had my girlfriend at the time, my first girlfriend ever. And we're sitting on bus side by side, and, you know, that's the point. Everyone is, you know, experimenting with us. And I was like, oh, God, I knew it was coming. So we're sitting on the bus next to each other, and like, no, her hand is on my thigh, and I'm on her thigh. And she's like, you know, do you want to, like, you want to, like, you know, touch my boob? And I was like, no, I'm okay. And she was like, are you sure? And I'm like, yeah, I'm sure. And she's like, why? And I was like. I looked at her. I was like, God wouldn't like that. Oh, I know.

[Jennifer]

I put a daughter.

[Monet]

I wouldn't care about God. I didn't want to do it. I was like, God wouldn't like that. And she's like, you're right. You're right. And then, like, I came out to her the next day.

[Angie]

Propelled you.

[Monet]

Yeah, Yeah. I was like, but so thank God she asked me to touch her boo boo. I would have been in the closet long enough, but she kept my secret until college. And then I officially came out sophomore year of college.

[Jennifer]

Okay, and what was that like for you?

[Monet]

You know, it was good. It was. Honestly, I kept a secret for so long, and after I said it, oh, my God, it cost me nothing to say. This. It was this thing I was built. Cause my family has always been so sweet, so supportive. They watch Drag Race more than me. They have their own group chats about the show all the time. But I was so afraid to tell them for whatever things in my. Cause of all the warped and fucked up stories I've heard about friends losing families. They don't talk to their dad anymore, their mom anymore, whatever. I mean, my dad calls me Monet. My dad calls me Monet and he calls me girl. You know what I mean? My family's so cool. But, yeah, I was so afraid of what I might lose that I robbed my family of so many experiences they could have had with me, you know, in high school and in the beginning of my college years, because I was just so afraid to come out. And after I did it, oh, my God, I became my own town crier. I was running around the whole town like, the British are coming, The British are coming, and I'm gay. Like, I was letting everyone know. It was amazing. I had, like, a little press conference with my family at Christmas that year. I was like, hey, everyone, thank you for joining us for Christmas dinner. I want to confirm a few things you may have seen on Facebook. That I suck dick, Grandma. Like, it was very that. And then they were like, okay, cool. We love you.

[Jennifer]

Were they surprised?

[Monet]

I think. I don't know if surprised is the word, that they were like. I think they were surprised that I came out when I did. I think they thought that I was. I think they knew, but they thought that I was so afraid that I was gonna keep it a secret longer. My mom was like, I just wish you would have told us earlier.

[Jennifer]

Okay, let me ask you this. As a little boy, what did you play with?

[Monet]

So say. I did not play my mom's clothes, like, her heels or little dresses. What I would do is. Cause I lived in. I was born in Brooklyn, But I. At one year old. One year. Do you say one years old or one year old?

[Jennifer]

Singular, one year.

[Monet]

Okay. At one year old, my family moved me to St. Lucia, and I lived in the Caribbean.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Monet]

So when we washed our clothes, we didn't have a washer and dryer. Well, we had a washer, but we dry our clothes, like, on a clothesline outside. So what I would do is I would go in the backyard and steal all the clothes pins and put them on my fingers and make nails. And I was in my room casting spells, girl. I was like. I was Sabrina the teenage witch in my little room, and I was, like, pointing to shit, trying to make magic.

[Jennifer]

You know what you should do is get you an Etsy page, right? And put curses on Trump and JT Vance with your nails.

[Monet]

My clothes been nails. Yes, girl. I'mma tell you, Andy, I want those voodoo dolls for Christmas. I want every single last one of them. I love that idea.

[Jennifer]

It's a great idea.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

So you did the nails, and then when did you think that? When did you start thinking I might be gay? Or when did. When does that experience? Like, is it with hormones? Before hormones?

[Monet]

I think it was a little before hormones. I think I was around, like, around, like nine years old.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Monet]

I remember having a crush on a boy in fourth grade, and I was like, oh, my God, he's cute. But I didn't know what that was yet.

[Jennifer]

Right?

[Monet]

And I was like, why do I think he's cute? And then, like, it started to inform itself a little more in, like, in fifth grade, and I started thinking more boys were cute. And I was like, oh, okay. And then, I mean, by seventh grade, I was already, like, making out with boys and kissing boys. It was like a whole thing. But, like, it was like fourth, five, sixth grade. That's when I was like, I was discovering, like, okay, I'm a little different. But I think again, all of the straight girls in my life, they were my ride or die. When boys would make funny and bully me in middle school, oh, my God. My straight girlfriends, Reiko, Kameka and Apryl, they used to have my back. They used to beat boys up for me. They were like, yeah, it was great. I love that.

[Jennifer]

All right, let's get to your next grievance. This one here.

[Monet]

Oh, my God. Every time RFK is in front of a camera, it pisses me off. I have had it with him talking. We listening to this person talk to us about anything. He sounds like he should be being taken care of. Like, he sounds like, how are you giving us health advice when you need health yourself, sir? It sounds so. And looks so oxymoronic to get health advice from this fucking person who is sick and infirms himself.

[Jennifer]

I agree.

[Angie]

Not to mention it's just fucking annoying as all hell.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Angie]

Plus, he's a dipshit. He is running around with the dumbest conspiracy theory ideas in that crown. I'm like, we're a visual and audio society. How did we get this far? How did that happen?

[Monet]

Yeah, it Boggles my mind. It boggles my mind that RFK is allowed to. He's part of what? Haasa.

[Jennifer]

Health and Human Services.

[Monet]

Health and Human Services. Yeah, it's. I just. I can't.

[Jennifer]

Here's what bugs me the most about the Trump administration is just that nobody values expertise. Like, call me crazy, but, like, I would say that you're an expert in drag.

[Monet]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

Okay.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

So you couldn't take somebody like Elon Musk and him be an expert in that, but this is what all these fuckers have done. RFK Jr is not a scientist. He. He reads a bunch of junk science and then now he's dangerous, Right? And now he's, you know, there's a measles outbreak and all of these total, totally preventable things. And I just read that now they're not going to be checking chicken for salmonella anymore.

[Monet]

Why? Like, why?

[Jennifer]

But you know what? It's so that people don't have to see pronouns in people's emails.

[Angie]

Right?

[Jennifer]

You know, we'll have salmonella, but. But the maga. That gets triggered by pronouns. They won't have to see that.

[Monet]

The pronouns that they use every day.

[Angie]

Right.

[Monet]

They use every day.

[Jennifer]

Every day.

[Angie]

Here's. I read there's a person. I mean, because people are dying from measles because they don't get vaccinated, which is absolutely abhorrent. Somebody and this person looked like they would say this, but they were like, I know I lost my child because he died of measles, because I didn't vaccinate him, and if I had another child, I wouldn't vaccinate them. And I'm just like, you can't help these people.

[Monet]

You can't.

[Angie]

You just can't help this happen. You can't help it.

[Monet]

Well, what it is, we have completely lost the ability to critically think. Like, it's just like, people are just not.

[Angie]

You guys are the same person.

[Monet]

Like, people just are not. Critically, like, just think critically. It's an exercise. Learn what in elementary school you do. You learn it throughout your entire.

[Jennifer]

Okay, I have another theory, and I know that you and I are going to be sympaticant.

[Monet]

Yeah, tell me.

[Jennifer]

Okay, back to the mega churches and the religion. These people that are indoctrinated in that breed, that brand of Christianity, when they start critically thinking and asking, wait a minute, did there were only two humans that started the whole earth and how did we get more. And they start asking a lot of questions. Questions. You can't question God's faith. So whenever you critically think you're told it's a sin and it's blasphemy. So then that is just reinforced throughout your whole life. And then they get to adulthood and they don't have the ability to critically think. My opinion, because you have, like, MAGA and Christian nationalism are like this. I mean, they're completely interwoven, woven. And I think that evangelical Christianity set the psychological soil by discouraging critical thinking. You know, people believe that people used to be 900 years old, that, you know, Jonah's living in a whale, Noah's parading around in some yacht with all these animals. You know, that's fucking crazy. He's 900 years old. Everybody knows that didn't happen, Right. Some guy's getting all liquored up with his daughters and screwing his daughters. I mean, there's just a lot of bad shit going on in there. Right. But if anybody questions it, then they told you're a sin. That's blasphemy, et cetera. So then they are primed to be. To fall prey to all of this authoritarianism. And I just think that critical thinking is something that hurts them. Like, when they start to critically think, like, it injures them, and they're. They're averse to it because they have been discouraged from doing it all the time. And then we have an administration that's attacking, like, can you imagine? Like, Harvard is a bad idea.

[Angie]

Right?

[Jennifer]

Like, shut up.

[Monet]

Like what?

[Jennifer]

Shut up. Then don't go there.

[Monet]

Then don't go there.

[Angie]

It's so easy to avoid. They. The Trump administration has united people in support of Harvard, which typically, they're. You're like, oh, God, somebody went to Harvard. They think they're so smart, like, whatever. And now it's like, I know.

[Monet]

Yeah. Yeah. It's silly. I agree with that, though. Yeah. It is a way to subjugate people, like, to take away the ability to think critically and to think for themselves and to think about what is going to be best for also. It's also this thing of, like, everyone is just only now concerned about themselves and, like, them getting the best out of life and not concerned about community and, like, how everyone doing better makes you do better in the long run. It's not just about you. Because if you're up here and we're all down here, here, then where is that? Like, where does that leave you? You're. It just doesn't make sense.

[Jennifer]

And I think American culture has always valued individualism over collectivism.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

And we've always valued money over, like, people getting health Care. And so Donald Trump is a manifestation of all of our worst impulses as a culture. Come and we. We. We bred him, we popped him out. Oh, my God.

[Monet]

Well, also, in church, they teach you money is the root of all evil. Okay, so let's go with that. If money is the root of all evil, what does that say about your millionaire pastor?

[Jennifer]

Why are you taking Venmo?

[Monet]

Why are you taking Venmo?

[Jennifer]

Venmo for Jesus.

[Monet]

Have you seen that thing that Pastor Marvin Sapp telling the ushers to lock the doors of the church? Have you seen this? No, girl. It was a service happening in whatever city. And then it's the end of the service where it's the offering time, where people bring the tithes and offerings to the thing. And then I GUESS There were 2,000 people in the congregation, also about 2,000 people watching via stream. He goes, I need 20 people to give $2,000. We need to make 20 people to. No, I need 4,000 people to give $20 each. Cause we needed whatever that 20 times. I think it's $200,000 or maybe $400,000. They needed to make that much money. So he said. So people started to leave. He said, lock the door. He goes, lock the doors. He said, why aren't I listening? I said, lock the doors. It's all over the Internet. It's crazy, because he wanted to make that $400,000 that night or whatever. $40,000. Sorry. I think. And it was insane that he was telling the ushers to lock. And they did lock the doors. And now it's a whole thing. And now he's making a song about the scandal that he's putting out on itunes and putting into it for money.

[Jennifer]

He's just such a grifter. When we were younger, there was this preacher named Oral Roberts. O R A L was the first name.

[Monet]

Oral.

[Jennifer]

We'll visit that in just a second. Oral Robert Roberts, and he is a big televangelist. And he locked himself up and he said, if I don't get $2 million, God's going to kill me.

[Angie]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

And this tele. Televangelism was a big thing in the 80s and 90s.

[Monet]

Tammy Fay.

[Jennifer]

Exactly. So my grandmother, whose.

[Monet]

Which was high camp, by the way.

[Jennifer]

Totally. And so my grandmother had sent money and all these people sent money to Oral Roberts. I think he's dead now, but he ended up getting the money. But there is an actual university in Tulsa, Oklahoma, called Oral. Oral Roberts University has these big praying hand statues. And I'm just thinking, America is so dumb. They took a dumb, corrupt grifter, con artist man that lied to people who should have been in prison for ripping off senior citizens saying that God was going to kill him and they made a university. And that's all legal. And that's all legal, but we're mad at Harvard.

[Monet]

Do people still go to the school? Is it still like it's a real school?

[Angie]

They have sports and everything?

[Monet]

That's insane.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. Could you imagine I would feel like an abject failure if my child went to Oral Roberts University. Oh my God.

[Angie]

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[Jennifer]

Okay. All right. Now it's time you. You remember our game. Had it or hit it.

[Monet]

Yes.

[Jennifer]

Okay. Oh, my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it.

[Angie]

Had it.

[Jennifer]

I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it. Newborn babies had it.

[Monet]

Can I tell you something? I get accosted by pictures of newborn babies. And I'm not saying, like, you know, like a. A toddler, a one or two. I'm talking about, like, freshly delivered babies. Okay. They're still wrinkly. They look sticky. They're still covered in chlorophyll, whatever is on the baby. I don't know what sort of shit I'm like, like, a newborn baby has to settle. Like, give it like a week or two so it can settle into what it's gonna be. Because, I mean, you literally just gave birth to Lord Voldemort. Like, give it a second to, like, to settle. Like Botox.

[Angie]

I remember when my kids were born, I was like, that is the most gorgeous child I've ever seen in my life. It's perfect. Then like, a few weeks later, I get the newborn picture they took at the hospital. And I was like, that is the ugliest motherfucker I've ever seen. Like, I thought that was cute. Like, that's love. Because this was not cute.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. I'm not a big. And we had newborns. But I'll tell you what, neither one of us really like babies.

[Angie]

No.

[Jennifer]

Or children. Or we started this whole movement that. It's called the Todd Toddler Advocacy Program. And we're such advocates for toddler that we think that parents need to keep them closer and not let them go out into the world as much that parents are endangering their children by taking them to restaurants, on planes, to shopping centers. They need to keep Their kids at home. For their safety. For their safety.

[Angie]

I've also. I'm doing the boarding school where you send your kid off at six weeks and you get them back at five.

[Monet]

That's the boarding school age.

[Angie]

That would be the perfect time.

[Monet]

That sounds great.

[Jennifer]

Okay. Had it or hit. Hit it. Quote unprecedented times.

[Monet]

Oh, my God. I've had it with unprecedented. Please give me some precedented times. I am praying for times that are unprecedented. Every day you wake up on TikTok or whatever, and it's just a new, unprecedented thing. I've had it. It's too much. It's too stressful.

[Angie]

It is stressful.

[Jennifer]

I agree. We need to pray for precedented times. Okay. Had it or hit it? The Luigi Mangioni case.

[Monet]

Oh, hit it. I love Luigi. Luigi's a patriot. Saint Luigi. I'm gonna send money, put him on his books or whatever you do to people in prison. I'm hitting Luigi. I'm here for Luigi Mangioni also. It's just. Isn't it not just a gross thing of the law. They have people who've done way worse than him and they get out in whatever years, and this person kills one rich guy and now he's facing the death penalty. It just seems egregious.

[Jennifer]

Yeah. I think the message behind Luigi's doing that was a call for action. Because the point that UnitedHealthcare was using artificial intelligence to deny people healthcare so that they could make more money is so profoundly evil. And that United Healthcare killed so many of its customers by denying them claim for profits. And it gets us back to that. As a culture, what do we value?

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

And sadly, Americans as a whole, not us, not the three of us, all of America, for this rubble value, you know, the individual capitalism and all of those structures. Now, I will say I think Luigi. Luigi Mangione's hot and all that. I don't think the solution to this is to kill people in the streets, but the case and all that. I read it. I love all the memes online. I'm into all. I mean, I think he's wildly attractive.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Monet]

I mean, I know such a young kid. His whole life is like.

[Jennifer]

I feel. I feel bad because I think maybe. I think maybe he wasn't okay when that happened.

[Monet]

When it happened. Yeah.

[Jennifer]

You know, because I think he probably would have played the tape through. I understand that you want to make a big case for something, but. Yeah, it's. The whole thing is, I feel bad for him.

[Monet]

Yeah, I do, too.

[Jennifer]

Okay, next up, J.D. vance's smokey eye.

[Monet]

Oh, my God, I've had it. But also low key. Like work girl. I feel like she might be a secret sister. And after him and Donna Trevor are gone, we're gonna hear. He gonna come out with his. He comes out as part of the queer community.

[Jennifer]

Okay, what do you think the likelihood is that when J.D. vance gets home from work and he goes to the. What is it called? The Naval. What's the Naval Observatory? Naval Observatory. I just envision the following. That he's like, usha, I can't talk. I'm gonna be in my study. In his study. He has, like a trunk and he opens it up and he has stilettos and feather boas and eyelashes and eyeliner and wigs and clip on earrings. And he just, like. He just gets it out of his.

[Monet]

Chest and luxuriates it. Yeah, I can. Girl, I can totally see that. I can see that. And he has like, some, like, some soft piano music playing in the background.

[Jennifer]

He's wearing a thong with his bow.

[Monet]

And his thong and his like. And his, like, silk little robe.

[Jennifer]

Fishnet hose.

[Monet]

Fishnet hose.

[Jennifer]

Oh, yeah.

[Monet]

And not yet. And not even the, like, the little. The little skinny fishnet. The little big old fishnets.

[Jennifer]

Yes. And then I envision, originally he does his lipstick properly and then he does some twirls around and then he just starts feeling crazy and unhinged. And then he takes it and he's just putting it all over and he's like, you know, and then he has, like, on his fingers and he's rubbing his chest and then the eyeliner's going and then he's like, you know, it's like, oh, yes. And then he showers and exfoliates. He's thought about this too much. I have thought about it. And you know what? The Chinese have been thinking about it too. Those eyeliner memes on TikTok.

[Monet]

No, I haven't seen it.

[Angie]

You have to look.

[Jennifer]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Kylie, download one so you can. You can play it for Monat. You're going to die. So. These are so good. I'm not thinking about this in a vacuum. The Chinese have been thinking about this too. Kylie's going to get something to show you. Let's move along. Had it or hit it. Fire Festival too.

[Monet]

Wait, it's happening again. Kylie, am I. Oh, my God. I'm so.

[Kylie]

It's happening again.

[Jennifer]

She says it's happening.

[Angie]

Huge grift. And they're doing.

[Jennifer]

I feel like Maga is Fire Festival too.

[Monet]

Yeah, absolutely. I've had it with that.

[Angie]

I mean, you can't help these people.

[Monet]

The first one was so, like watching the documentary about it was so.

[Angie]

I loved the documentary.

[Monet]

The guy that, that was going to suck dick for a bottle of water or whatever. I'm like, girl, I would have done it for fun.

[Kylie]

I have a video.

[Jennifer]

Okay, okay, watch this, watch this. My name, it's all over Chinese TikTok.

[Monet]

Oh, my God, that is so.

[Jennifer]

Does he call them Chinese peasants? There are hundreds of these, hundreds of hips and it's, it's like J.T. vance called us peasants. J.D. vance, who do you think makes your eyeliner some? And it has J.D. vance doing the eyeliner. They are trolling the out of that. But here's the thing. Think about this. Go down this conspiracy theory with me. China would have psychological files on high profile Americans. They're a big, a big country, big government. They've got spies. They have a lot of technology. Technology. They can do spy. They have satellites.

[Monet]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jennifer]

So they just start rolling out all this JD Vance out there cleaning it up on TikTok. I don't think my theory about the hidden drag trunk is that far off.

[Monet]

I don't think it's, that it had to come from somewhere. Right?

[Angie]

That's what we think.

[Monet]

Yeah.

[Angie]

Because Trump's an easier target because he wears the heavier makeup and the hair and the lifts and all that. Yeah, but they're not saying that about him.

[Jennifer]

But they're saying, well, he, he has been. I will say I'm a connoisseur of J.D. vance's eyeliner. And I pumps and I did a whole episode where you can see during the day. He does it a day like. And then he has a TV ready, it's a little bit heavier. He has an evening and then he has a full blown pre smokey. And we think that we're just one or two news cycles away from him going a full blown smokey eye on national television.

[Monet]

And let me tell you something, I know my eyeliner. He's using the Mac coal liner in the color feline. I promise you. Look it up, y'all. It is a Mac. It smudges beautifully. It's effortless. That is exactly the color he's using.

[Jennifer]

I'll tell you what, when he, he pops, when he finally goes from pre smokey eye to full smokey eye, I don't care what time it is, I don't care where we are. We're going live right, right here in my studio and it will be breaking news. Sound the sirens. I mean, we will cover it from top to bottom and we will have to zoom you in.

[Monet]

No, I was gonna say I'm booking a flight. Just let me know. Let's let me know.

[Jennifer]

We will have to analyze. Have still shots, every single bit of it. Okay. All right. Had it or hit it? The United States of America.

[Monet]

Oh, God. That's a tough one.

[Jennifer]

It is.

[Monet]

It's a tough one. Okay. Because I love our country because we can do this, right?

[Jennifer]

Yes.

[Monet]

I love our country.

[Jennifer]

For now.

[Monet]

For now we can do this. I love our country because as a descendant of American chattel slavery, my family has been here, we've helped build this country. So I love it for that. And I don't want a few, Not a few, a lot of sour apples to ruin the entire bunch. You know what I mean? So I'm gonna say hit it. Cause I also don't want to leave here. I wanna fight for this place. I wanna fight for this place that I grew up in, my family grew up in, that gives me the freedom and the love and everything that I want. So I'm gonna say hit it. I'm gonna keep on fighting. I'm gonna fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.

[Jennifer]

I agree. I agree with you. Because when I think about our multicultural nation and, you know, just the. All of the craziness of the United States, all the bad parts, the trashy parts, all the fabulous parts, it's us.

[Monet]

It's us.

[Jennifer]

Right? It's ours. And we have to fight for it. And the world is counting on us to fight for it and to fight for everybody, everybody in this country and leave no one behind.

[Monet]

I agree. I agree 100%. Like, you know, we all have that drunk uncle at the family barbecue every year, and we're. I'm not going to leave. Cause he's making everyone uncomfortable. I'm gonna tell him he has to leave and you need to. I'm gonna take the bear out of his hand and put him to bed.

[Jennifer]

Let me ask you this. Do you have any family members that are maga?

[Monet]

No. But I do have one family member who in 2016, because they are. Because they are a cop. I think they voted for Donald Trump because this was when he disillusioned everyone about for cops and blah, blah, blah.

[Jennifer]

Right, right.

[Monet]

And then so. But after that, they saw the light and they were like a few months into realize, oh, this guy is a horrible person. But there's no one else in my family that's mag at all.

[Jennifer]

I have one final story to leave you with. You'll get the biggest kick out of this Monday. And I don't think Pumps knows this. So during this most recent election, my husband. I live in a. It's. I would say a 99.9% white neighborhood. Okay? So my husband comes home from work and he goes, well, the weirdest fucking thing just happened. The house two blocks south of us just put up two magazines in the front yard. And they're black.

[Monet]

No.

[Jennifer]

How's that?

[Monet]

No.

[Jennifer]

You're the only black family that lives in this godforsaken whiteness. And their fucking maga. He goes, it's just such a disappointment to me.

[Monet]

No. Yes, but.

[Jennifer]

And they had two. They're a corner house. And they had. And I was just like. Because I remember when they moved in, Roman, my son that told me, you know, the prom send offs of culture, he's like, love this. We need to have more color in this neighborhood. And I go, I agree, I agree, I agree. That family popped up.

[Monet]

MAGA signs, black Republicans is something I will never understand. Black maggots. Maggots specific. Like, you know, gone are the days, you know, the Colin Powells and you know those people who you can stomach and tolerate.

[Jennifer]

Right?

[Monet]

But now a black maggots in the neighborhood, in the hood.

[Jennifer]

Yeah.

[Monet]

Ugh, that is upsetting.

[Jennifer]

It was so upsetting. Cause we had these great signs and it said Harris, obviously. And I live on the corner too. And so I had him a big both ways, no matter who passed. And then we had more Harris signs in our neighborhood than we did Trump signs. So my husband was just devastated.

[Angie]

Oh, I didn't know that. And Josh takes that kind of thing really personally.

[Jennifer]

It really upsets him because he, like, he. That kind of stuff. He's a criminal defense lawyer and he is. I mean, he despises racism. He can't even watch the news because everything that MAGA says is somehow racially coded.

[Monet]

Oh, yeah, everything.

[Jennifer]

And it just drives him insane. And he's a recovering drug addict for hit. So for his serenity, he's like, I just can't fucking watch it. So when he saw that black family double dip, two MAGA signs, it just destroyed him.

[Monet]

You know what I think we should do? I think we're gonna gather all the white people in your neighborhood and we're gonna have an adult prom send off on their lawn. And we're gonna make. It's gonna be part of the culture.

[Jennifer]

It should be the culture.

[Monet]

It's gonna be the culture. That's what we're gonna do. That's how we're gonna fix those black maggots.

[Jennifer]

Oh, my God. Can you believe that?

[Monet]

Awful.

[Jennifer]

Devastating.

[Monet]

God, awful.

[Jennifer]

Only in Oklahoma. Monet, I hope your show is fabulous.

[Angie]

It's gonna be great.

[Monet]

I love y'all so much. Thank y'all for having me here in studio. It's a pleasure to come and chat with you ladies and talk about. Oh, this was, this was a. A dream. A fever dream. Honestly, I love this moment.

[Jennifer]

I love it. We love you. And pumps.

[Angie]

Tell them we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.

[Jennifer]

I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up patriots, gatriots and Natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called I hip News. It's Monday through Friday. Every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America. Always served with us side of petty grievances.

[Angie]

We are on all the available platforms. Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube.

[Jennifer]

Please go, rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps. Pumps. What does an eagle say? Caca. A little bit more enthusiasm. That's it. That's, that's, that's the patriotism that this country needs right there.