Podcast
IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast
Hosted by Lana Manikowski · EN
I am an infertility survivor—the kind you never hope to become: childless. After enduring multiple rounds of IUI and IVF at some of the leading fertility centers, I was advised to discontinue treatment. When my fertility journey ended, I was offered no resources to help me navigate the reality of an unexpected childless life. I was left asking:
So now what?
In the years that followed, I tried to convince myself I'd be OK, but I wasn't. I felt shattered, alone, and failed—not just by the process but by my own body. I longed for someone who truly understood the pain I felt, a guide to help me navigate a life without children.
But I couldn't find it.
So, I decided to create it.
Today, I am still childless, but I've redefined what that means. I've learned that a meaningful and purposeful life is possible, even without motherhood. I've learned to love myself and embrace the body I once felt had let me down. Through my certification in life coaching and my own transformation, I've discovered tools and insights that helped me thrive—and I'm here to share them with you on The "So Now What?" Podcast.
If you've been on this journey, join me as we build what we were never offered: a sisterhood for the bravest women I know. Together, we'll rewrite the narrative, shedding labels like failed, unexplained, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, not-viable, or advanced maternal age.
Follow me on Instagram: @lana.manikowski for resources, inspiration, and opportunities to live a fulfilling life without the children you dreamed of.
21episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Childless After Infertility? You Still Belong
1w ago00:16:36Tap to summarizeChildless After Infertility? You Still Belong If you've ever felt like everyone else moved forward after IVF while you were left trying to figure out where you fit… this episode is for you. In Episode 205 of The "So Now What?" Podcast, Lana Manikowski shares a deeply personal recap of The Other's Day® weekend in Chicago, where women from 13 states gathered for connection, friendship, healing, and belonging after infertility and childlessness. But this episode is about much more than a weekend event. It's about what happens when you stop seeing yourself as the outsider. You'll hear honest conversation about the emotional aftermath of infertility, the loneliness many women experience after fertility treatments end without a baby, and why so many women quietly question who they are now once the future they imagined never happened. Lana shares: • Why Mother's Day weekend can feel emotionally exhausting when you are childless not by choice. • The hidden identity shifts that happen after IVF failed. • How infertility impacts friendships, marriage, confidence, and connection. • What it was like watching women who once felt disconnected instantly connect during The Other's Day® celebrations. • Why you already belong, even if motherhood didn't happen. • The emotional experience of meeting Thrive After Infertility clients in person after years of coaching together online. • Why healing is not about becoming someone different, but reconnecting to yourself and your life again. • How women are building meaningful, connected, joy-filled lives after infertility. This episode is for you if: • You feel disconnected from friends after infertility. • Mother's Day still feels hard after IVF failed. • You wonder where you fit now that fertility treatments are over. • You are struggling to picture a meaningful future without children. • You want to feel connected, grounded, and hopeful again. You are not broken. You are not behind. And you do not have to keep navigating this alone. ✨ Mentioned in this episode: Join the waitlist for The Other's Day® 2027 in Chicago (May 7–8, 2027): The Other's Day® Waitlist Participate in the confidential Northwestern University research study for women whose fertility treatment ended without a live birth: Northwestern Fertility Treatment Research Study Schedule a free Thrive Call with Lana: Book a Thrive Call Download the free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond Get the Free Guide Here Learn more about Thrive After Infertility Connect with Lana on Instagram: Instagram @lana.manikowski
Transcribe →Belonging When You're Infertile and Childless
4w ago00:18:51Tap to summarizeBelonging When You're Infertile and Childless What happens when fertility treatments end and there's no baby? It's a question that rarely gets discussed in the infertility world, yet it's the reality so many women face after IVF fails, fertility treatments end, or you make the painful decision to stop trying. In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, I'm sharing the exact speech I recently gave at the Seeds of Hope Fertility Luncheon. What made this event especially powerful is that many women in the room ultimately became mothers after infertility. Their stories looked different than mine, but so many came up to me afterward and said: "I've never thought about what happens when fertility treatment ends without a baby." And that's exactly why this conversation matters. If you're infertile and childless, navigating life after IVF failed, or trying to figure out how to rebuild your identity when motherhood didn't happen, this episode will remind you that you still belong. In this episode, you'll hear: • Why there's a major gap in fertility care when treatment ends without a live birth. • Details about the new research study I'm supporting with Northwestern University focused on women whose fertility treatments ended without a baby. • Why being handed brochures for adoption, donor eggs, or more treatment is not the same as actual support. • The friendship brunch moment that made me question whether I still belonged. • Why so many women feel like motherhood is what makes them feel relevant or included in adulthood. • How one of my clients stopped disappearing from her own life after infertility. • Why creating new traditions and redefining your future matters when motherhood is no longer part of your path. • Why I created The Other's Day® for women who need a place to belong around Mother's Day. • How to stop waiting for life to begin and start creating a life you feel proud of. Your story may not look like what you planned. That does not make your life any less meaningful. And it absolutely does not make you any less worthy of belonging. Links Mentioned in This Episode Participate in the Northwestern Research Study This anonymous survey is open worldwide for women whose fertility treatments ended without a live birth. It takes about 20 minutes. https://redcap.nubic.northwestern.edu/redcap/surveys/?s=LM4TX4MJN3HRR7ER Get Tickets to The Other's Day® (May 8–9 in Chicago) Friday: The Foundation (yoga, guided meditation + sound bath) Saturday: The Other's Day® Brunch Attend one event or both. https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday Read Chapter 1 of "So Now What?" https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/chapter1 Buy "So Now What?" https://www.lanamanikowski.com/book Free Guide: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay Book a Thrive Call https://calendly.com/lanamanikowski/strategy-session Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lana.manikowski/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@lana.manikowski YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@lana.manikowski If this episode resonated with you, share it with another woman navigating infertility, IVF failed cycles, or life after fertility treatments end. And if you haven't already, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more women searching for support after infertility can find this conversation. I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you, and remember that it's never too late to discover your meaning. I'll talk to you next week.
Transcribe →How to Make Friends When You're Childless After IVF Failed with Guest Melissa Miller
Apr 1700:28:18Tap to summarizeIf you've ever felt like friendships got harder after infertility, you're not imagining it. When IVF failed and your life didn't include children, you didn't just lose the dream of motherhood. You also lost the built-in ways friendships often form. No school drop-offs. No sports schedules. No automatic community. So now you're left wondering… how do you actually make meaningful friendships as a childless woman? In this episode, you hear a real, honest conversation about what it looks like to create connection when your life doesn't follow the traditional path. 💛 What You'll Learn in This Episode Why friendships can feel more complicated when you're childless after infertility The hidden ways IVF failed can impact your sense of belonging How to form real friendships with other childless women, even online The key to building connection as an adult What it looks like to turn Instagram connections into real-life friendships How to stop waiting for connection and start creating it 🌿 Meet Melissa Miller @autoimmuneresilience on IG Melissa Miller joins this episode to share her experience of becoming childless not by choice after years of infertility, IVF, and surrogacy. After leaving fertility treatments without a baby, she found herself asking the same question so many women do: Where are the others like me? What she discovered was a community of women who are building full, connected, meaningful lives without children and creating friendships that feel just as deep, if not deeper, than the ones they expected to have. ✨ The Other's Day® — Chicago (May 8–9, 2026) If you've been craving connection with other women who don't have kids, this is where it happens. The Other's Day® is a two-day experience created specifically for women who are childless, whether by choice or not, to feel welcomed, connected, and completely themselves. 🌿 Friday, May 8 — The Foundation A restorative evening designed to help you arrive into Other's Day weekend feeling grounded and supported. You'll experience: Beginner-friendly yoga Guided meditation A sound bath experience 🥂 Saturday, May 9 — The Other's Day® Brunch in Chicago The signature experience where women gather, connect, and leave feeling like they belong. You'll walk into a room where: No one asks if you have kids No one assumes your life is easier You don't have to explain your story 👉 Get your Chicago tickets here: https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday/ 🌿 Seattle Other's Day® Brunch (Hosted by Melissa Miller) Seattle gathering is hosted by Melissa Miller, an Other's Day® Ambassador bringing this experience to the Pacific Northwest. 📅 Date: May 9, 2026 ⏰ Time: 11:00 AM – 2:00 PM 📍 Location: The Locöl Kitchen & Bar 7902 35th Ave SW West Seattle You'll enjoy a private brunch experience with meaningful connection, great food, and a room full of women who understand life without children. 👉 Reserve your spot in Seattle: https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/seattlebrunch 🔗 Resources & Links Chicago Other's Day® Tickets: https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday/ Seattle Other's Day® Brunch: https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/seattlebrunch Free Guide: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless 👉 Get the free guide here: https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay Book: "So Now What?" 👉 Learn more or grab your copy: https://www.lanamanikowski.com/book 💬 A Thought to Take With You Friendships don't have to look the way you thought they would. You don't need kids to create meaningful, lasting connections. Sometimes it starts with a message. Sometimes it starts with showing up. 🎧 Loved This Episode? Follow the podcast so you don't miss what's next. And if this episode resonated, share it with another woman navigating life after IVF failed who's ready to feel more connected.
Transcribe →IVF Failed and No One Followed Up? The Study That Could Change Care for Childless Women After Infertility
Apr 300:13:59Tap to summarizeIf you went through IVF or fertility treatments and didn't leave with a baby, you already know this part of the story. The treatments end… and then what? No follow-up. No plan. No one checking in to ask how you're doing after years of trying. In this episode, you hear the truth that so many women experience but rarely say out loud. When fertility treatment ends without a baby, you are often left to figure out your life on your own. You'll hear why this gap in care exists, how it impacts women who are childless after infertility, and most importantly, how you now have the opportunity to help change it. This episode introduces a research study from Northwestern University that is focused on understanding what actually happens after fertility treatment ends without a live birth. Because your experience matters. And it's time it was counted. 💡 In This Episode, You'll Hear: What really happens after IVF failed and treatment ends Why women who are childless after infertility are often left without support The gap in fertility care that no one is tracking or measuring How your experience can directly influence future patient care Why taking 20 minutes to share your story can create real change 🎯 Why This Matters for You You spent years navigating fertility treatments, appointments, and uncertainty. When it ended, you were expected to move on without guidance. This study is your chance to make sure that experience is no longer ignored. When your voice is included in research, it helps shape how clinics support women in the future so they are not left asking the same question you once did: So now what? 🔗 Take the Survey If this is your experience, take the survey today. 👉 https://redcap.nubic.northwestern.edu/redcap/surveys/?s=LM4TX4MJN3HRR7ER 💛 Resources for You ✨ Download: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Get the free guide here: https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay ✨ Book a Thrive Call https://calendly.com/lanamanikowski/strategy-session ✨ Read Chapter 1 of "So Now What?" https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/chapter1 📊 RESEARCH STUDY — Participants Invited Northwestern University researchers are conducting a research study to understand the experiences and support needs of women whose fertility treatment ended without a live birth. Study: "A Needs Assessment of Women Who Remain Childless Following Infertility Treatment" IRB #: STU00225720 Principal Investigator: Susan C. Klock, PhD You may be eligible if you: • Are 18+ years old and were biologically female at birth • Previously underwent fertility treatment without a live birth • Are currently childless and not planning additional treatment • Can read and understand English Participation: • Confidential online survey (~20 minutes) • Voluntary • No compensation Take the survey: https://redcap.nubic.northwestern.edu/redcap/surveys/?s=LM4TX4MJN3HRR7ER Questions? Alexandra Herweck, MD, MPH | alexandra.herweck@nm.org PI: Susan C. Klock, PhD | 312-695-9939 This is a research study conducted through Northwestern University. This study has been reviewed and approved by the Northwestern University Institutional Review Board.
Transcribe →Us vs. Them: Choosing Your Own Life Path
Mar 1700:14:25Tap to summarizeNo description available
Transcribe →Rebuilding Your Body After Infertility When IVF Failed (with Holly Perkins)
Feb 2800:51:05Tap to summarizeRebuilding Trust With Your Body After Infertility When IVF Failed (with Holly Perkins) When IVF failed and fertility treatments ended without a baby, you did not just lose a dream. You often lost trust in your body. After years of hormones, medical procedures, weight changes, and emotional whiplash, it can feel almost impossible to want to care for yourself again. Movement can feel loaded. Exercise can feel like punishment. And sometimes the quiet thought underneath it all is: Why should I take care of you? In Episode 200, you are getting a grounded, practical conversation about rebuilding your relationship with your body after infertility. You will hear from Holly Perkins, a women's fitness expert with 30 years of experience helping women build strength through science-backed, sustainable approaches designed for women in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. This is not about chasing a smaller number on the scale. This is about strength, muscle, metabolism, bone health, and feeling better in your body after everything it has been through. If caring for your body has felt complicated since IVF failed, this episode is for you. What You Will Learn Why it makes sense that self-care feels hard after fertility treatments end. How emotional healing and physical strength support each other. Why "just lose weight" is not the right goal after hormone disruption. What happens to muscle and metabolism in your 40s and 50s. Why muscle is more important than the scale for long-term health. How strength training supports bone density and aging well. What a realistic starting point looks like when you have felt disconnected from your body. A Message You Might Need to Hear You are not broken because it feels hard to care for your body right now. When IVF failed, your body can start to feel like the enemy. This conversation helps you shift from punishment to partnership so you can rebuild trust in a way that feels steady and sustainable. Join Holly's Free 3-Day Workshop: Muscle for Life If you are ready for practical guidance on building strength in a way that fits your life, Holly is offering a free 3-day workshop called Muscle for Life. It starts March 5, 2026! Inside the workshop, you will learn: Why BMI and body weight are outdated metrics. How to think about muscle-to-fat ratio instead of just the scale. The strength training principles that matter most for women over 30. How to support bone density and long-term health. Nutrition strategies that support blood sugar, energy, and metabolism. You can register for FREE here: 👉 https://www.hollyperkins.com/lana This is the direct link to save your seat. About Holly Perkins Holly Perkins, BS, CSCS, CISSN is an established expert and thought leader in women's health. For 30 years, she has guided thousands of women through physical performance, nutrition, and mindset management. She is the author of Lift to Get Lean, and her upcoming book Muscle & Bone will be released in early 2026. Additional Resources Free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Get it here: https://lanamanikowski.com/thingspeoplesay If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to The "So Now What?" Podcast so you do not miss what is coming next. You can rebuild trust with your body after infertility when IVF failed. And you can do it without turning your life into another thing to perfect. I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you, and remember that it's never too late to discover your meaning. I'll talk to you next week!
Transcribe →How to Enjoy Being You When You're Childless After IVF Failed
Feb 1800:16:19Tap to summarizeWhen you're childless after IVF failed, life can look steady on the outside. You go to work. You answer emails. You show up to events. You keep functioning. But inside, something feels different. You might find yourself thinking, "I don't know how to enjoy being me anymore." When fertility treatments end without a baby, people assume the hardest part is over. The injections stop. The appointments end. The constant waiting slows down. But when you're childless after IVF failed, this is often when the identity questions begin. Who am I now? What does my future look like? How do I build a meaningful life when motherhood didn't happen? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, we talk about: Why life can feel directionless after IVF failed What disenfranchised grief really means when you never had a positive pregnancy test Why comparison feels louder when you are childless after infertility How grief quietly takes up space in everyday moments Why performing strength keeps you disconnected from yourself Small, practical ways to rebuild trust and enjoyment When you're childless after IVF failed, your grief is valid. Even if there was never a pregnancy. Even if there was never a baby to hold. Even if no one around you recognizes it as a loss. Enjoying being you again does not mean you are leaving the dream of motherhood behind. It means you are learning how to live alongside what you lost. You are allowed to feel steadiness. You are allowed to feel relief. You are allowed to build something meaningful in this life. Join Me in Chicago: The Other's Day® Brunch If you're ready to connect with other women who are also childless after infertility, The Other's Day® Brunch was created for you. Happening May 8–9 in Chicago, this two-day experience is designed specifically for women without children. It's about connection, meaning, and walking into a room where no one asks how many kids you have. Learn more here: 👉 https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday Free Guide: What to Say When You're Childless If you are tired of awkward comments and unsolicited advice about becoming a mom, download your free copy of: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Get it here: 👉 https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay When you're childless after IVF failed, your story is not over. You are still becoming. You are still building. And you are still allowed to enjoy being you.
Transcribe →The Grief Plateau After IVF Failed
Jan 2800:14:53Tap to summarizeWhen IVF ends without a baby, life does not always fall apart. Sometimes it goes quiet. You may still be showing up to work, keeping plans, and getting through your days, yet something feels off. You are functioning, but not fully connected to your life. In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, you are introduced to the concept of a grief plateau and why it is so common for women who are childless not by choice after infertility and IVF failed. A grief plateau explains why life can feel paused after fertility treatments end. Not dramatic grief. Not constant sadness. But a flat, stuck feeling that is hard to name and even harder to explain to others. This episode helps you understand what may be happening beneath the surface and why it makes sense, given everything you have been through. In this episode, you will learn: What a grief plateau is and how it shows up after IVF failed. Why many women feel "off" after infertility even when life looks fine on the outside. How years of fertility treatments affect your body, brain, and sense of safety. Why staying busy, feeling numb, or avoiding big dreams can be a form of protection. How losing the dream of motherhood can leave your future feeling unclear. Why understanding where you are matters before trying to move forward. This episode is for you if: You left fertility treatments without a baby and feel disconnected from yourself. Life feels stuck or paused after IVF failed. You are tired of being told to move on or look on the bright side. You want language that makes sense of life after infertility. This is not an episode about fixing yourself or rushing into a new version of life. It is about naming an experience many women have but rarely hear explained. Resource mentioned in this episode: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond A free guide to help you navigate uncomfortable comments and advice after infertility. Get the free guide here. If life feels quiet after IVF failed and you do not know why, this episode will help you understand what you may be standing in right now.
Transcribe →Childfree or Childless? You Get to Decide What That Means
Jan 2200:12:06Tap to summarizeChildfree or Childless? You Get to Decide What That Means If you don't have kids, you've probably noticed the words childfree and childless everywhere. They show up on social media, in podcasts, in articles, in movies, and in conversations about women's lives after infertility. And even if no one has ever asked you directly how you identify, you've likely felt something when you hear those terms used. Maybe you pause. Maybe you feel tension. Maybe you think, I don't know how I feel about that. In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, you slow that moment down and look at what's really happening underneath the words. This conversation is not about choosing the "right" label. It is about understanding the meaning you are giving to the terms childfree and childless, and deciding whether that meaning actually supports the woman you are becoming after infertility or IVF did not result in a child. You explore why identity feels so tender after fertility treatments end, why language can feel so loaded, and how a single word can start to feel like it is being asked to explain your grief, your growth, your peace, and your future all at once. In this episode, you will hear: Why the term childfree can feel empowering for some women and completely misaligned for others. Why the word childless can feel truthful while still carrying old stories of disappointment or being perceived as less than. How some women reclaim their lives without kids by changing the word they use. How other women reclaim their lives without kids by keeping the same word and changing what it means to them. Why you are not reacting to the word itself, but to the meaning you believe the word gives you. How you get to decide how much power any label has over you. You will also hear Lana share why she personally identifies as childless, and how that word honors the truth of wanting motherhood while still reflecting a full, meaningful life without children. Most importantly, this episode reminds you that whether you identify as childfree or childless, you have permission to feel proud of the woman you are. Proud of how you kept going. Proud of how you learned to hold complexity. Proud of the life you are building, even if it looks different than you once imagined. You are not your terminology. You are not unfinished. You are not behind. You are not less than. You are whole. Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode The Other's Day® Brunch A beautiful, connective event for women without children, happening May 9, with a special Friday night experience added this year. Check for updates or join the waitlist here: 👉 https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday Free Resource: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond If you have ever found yourself navigating unsolicited advice, intrusive questions, or "helpful" suggestions about becoming a mom, this guide is for you. Download it for free here: 👉 https://lanamanikowski.com/thingspeoplesay If this episode resonated with you, make sure you are subscribed to The "So Now What?" Podcast so you do not miss future conversations about navigating life after infertility and building a meaningful, grounded future without the children you dreamed of. I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you, and remember that it is never too late to discover your meaning.
Transcribe →Post-Traumatic Growth After Infertility
Jan 1400:20:26Tap to summarizeWhat Happens When the Future You Planned Doesn't Happen When fertility treatments end without a baby, you don't just grieve the child you hoped for. You grieve the future you were building your life around. In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, you explore post-traumatic growth after infertility and why it matters for women who are childless not by choice. Not in a toxic-positivity way. Not as a lesson you were supposed to learn. But as a way to understand what happens after years of trying, waiting, and living in a fertility holding pattern. If you've ever thought, I'm not the same person I was before IVF, this episode helps you understand why—and what becomes possible next. In this episode, you'll hear: Why infertility and fertility treatments do count as trauma, even if no one ever named it that way How years of IVF, IUI, medical procedures, and waiting shaped your nervous system and identity Why the end of fertility treatments feels so disorienting, not just sad What post-traumatic growth actually means and what it does not mean The seismic "rebuild" moment that happens when the life you planned no longer exists The five areas where post-traumatic growth often shows up after infertility Why growth is optional, not required, and only happens when you feel safe enough How to move forward without erasing your dream of motherhood or minimizing what you endured What it looks like to find a starting point again after the fertility holding pattern ends Why post-traumatic growth matters after infertility You didn't go through infertility to grow. You didn't suffer for a reason. And you don't need to reframe your loss to justify moving forward. Post-traumatic growth simply explains what happens when your assumptions about the future break and you're left asking, So now what? This episode helps you see that wanting forward movement does not mean you're forgetting what mattered. It means you're ready to stop living in permanent disappointment and start building a life that feels connected, grounded, and meaningful—on your terms. Thrive After Infertility This episode reflects the core work you do inside Thrive After Infertility, the coaching program created for women who have completed fertility treatments and are ready to stop feeling incomplete because fertility treatments failed. Inside Thrive, you learn how to: Move out of the fertility holding pattern Reconnect with your body and nervous system Navigate relationships in a world full of parents Create meaning and direction for the decades ahead Growth doesn't come from time passing. It comes from learning how to intentionally rebuild after loss. Free resource mentioned in this episode If you've ever been told, "You can always adopt," or "Everything happens for a reason," and didn't know how to respond, download the free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) 👉 Get the free guide here: lana-manikowski.com/thingspeoplesay
Transcribe →