Jabin Chavez Leadership Podcast #057

Episode Title: Growing Your Likeability

Release Date: September 25, 2024
Host: Jabin Chavez

Overview

In this episode, Jabin Chavez dives deep into the often-overlooked leadership quality of likeability. Drawing on lessons from his own journey, influential books like The Likeability Factor by Tim Sanders, and examples from scripture, Jabin breaks down why growing your likeability is foundational to building lasting trust, influence, and impact within any organization—especially churches. He provides practical strategies and real-life anecdotes, encouraging leaders to go beyond charisma and cultivate authentic, approachable, and trustworthy relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of Likeability in Leadership

• People do business (and life) with those they know, like, and trust, but the ‘like’ factor is often neglected.
• Churches (and organizations) shouldn’t have staff seen as a “necessary evil”—leaders should be loved and approachable.
• Leaders must actively work on making people feel drawn to them rather than repelled.

“We have to grow in our likability. People should be drawn to us and not repelled by us.” – Jabin Chavez [03:04]

2. The Biblical Foundation for Growth

• Citing Luke 2:52 ("Jesus increased… with favor with God and man"), Jabin highlights the ongoing need for leaders to grow in both spiritual and social dimensions.
• Spiritual growth alone isn’t enough— relational skills matter.

“If you’re not growing, you’re dying. There is no neutral, there is no park. There is no stagnation in leadership.” – Jabin Chavez [05:00]

3. Six Practical Ways to Grow Your Likeability

a. Listen More Than You Speak

• “You cannot talk and learn at the same time.” [08:10]
• Listening should be about learning, not waiting to respond or argue.
• Jabin shares a story about spending the day with John Maxwell, resisting the urge to interject, and simply learning.

“Most people listen to a person talk, and the entire time that person is talking, all you’re doing is trying to create a response… What if you just listen to learn?” – Jabin Chavez [09:00]

b. Be Authentic

• “Be you. Everyone else is taken. You were born an original. Don’t die a copy.” [16:40]
• Authentic leaders don’t imitate but discover and leverage their true selves, both their strengths and passions.
• Jesus didn’t change Peter’s nature as a fisherman; he redirected it to kingdom purpose.

“Our greatest strength is our authenticity… Never try to fit in when you can stand out.” – Jabin Chavez [19:25]

c. Tell the Truth

• Honesty builds trust; trust is built over years but broken in seconds [23:30].
• Reject the idea of “keeping it real” as just being opinionated; instead, aspire to be consistently truthful and straightforward, even if it means admitting your limits or declining invitations.

“Tell the truth. Be honest. Don’t be a liar. Just be honest. You’ll sleep a lot better at night.” – Jabin Chavez [22:49]

d. Positive Body Language

• Lean in, smile, make eye contact—these behaviors communicate openness and approachability [26:02].
• People make assumptions based on body language, fair or not.
• Respond to communication in a timely way to show you’re accessible and engaged.

“You could project, ‘I do not want to talk,’ or you could project, ‘I’m here to connect.’ It’s up to you.” – Jabin Chavez [27:05]

e. Maintain a Calm Presence

• Don’t always match the intensity of others; instead, remain calm, approachable, and even gentle—even in correction.
• Avoid being a one-note communicator; people tune out anything that’s constant, even energy or passion.

“You can correct and be calm. You can be frustrated but still be calm.” – Jabin Chavez [29:30]

f. Greet by Name & Ask Questions

• Names are powerful—use them as often as possible, even as organizations grow [31:36].
• Be inquisitive about others: ask about their families, interests, and stories.
• Focus isn’t persuasion, but connection and leadership rooted in genuine interest.

“The most interesting person in the world to that person is themselves. So ask questions.” – Jabin Chavez [33:50]

4. Leadership Beyond Skills—Balance of Spirit, Soul, and Body

• Leadership and organizational culture must engage the whole person; being overly “spiritual” can be off-putting.
• Senior leaders in particular are encouraged to have hobbies, be relatable, and foster two-way conversations.

“You got to have some hobbies. You got to be normal. You got to know how to hold a conversation… Interesting people are interested people.” – Jabin Chavez [36:45]

5. God as a Question Asker

• God models leadership and relationship by asking questions (Adam, where are you? Who do you say that I am?).
• Leaders should enter conversations inquisitively, not assuming they always have the most to teach.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Growth:
  “If Jesus could grow, and if Jesus could increase, you have to grow and you have to increase.” [05:55]

• On Leadership Mindset:
  “There are a lot of amazing preachers with very small ministries. There are a lot of very sincere business owners that will never succeed. Why? …Because there’s no likeability.” [07:32]

• On Building Trust:
  “Trust is built in years. Trust is broken in seconds.” [23:30]

• On Perspective in Conversation:
  “Don’t assume you’re the most interesting person in the room. Don’t assume everyone can learn from you but you can’t learn from them. Assume the opposite.” [38:35]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:00-05:15] – Framing the episode, importance of likeability, influence of The Likeability Factor
• [05:16-07:40] – Scriptural foundation: Luke 2:52 and the case for continual growth
• [07:41-15:00] – Listening as an essential leadership skill, personal anecdotes
• [16:00-22:00] – Authenticity, embracing individuality, learning from top leaders
• [22:01-26:00] – Honesty, truthfulness, rebuilding and losing trust
• [26:01-29:00] – Body language and non-verbal communication
• [29:01-31:30] – Calmness, approachability, healthy communication dynamics
• [31:31-37:00] – Using people’s names, power of questions, balancing leadership roles
• [37:01-39:30] – God as question-asker, cultivating curiosity and humility in leadership

Conclusion

Jabin Chavez challenges leaders to intentionally cultivate their likeability—not just as a tool for influence, but as an essential component of healthy, impactful leadership. Through practical advice, biblical insight, and candid personal experience, he urges listeners to listen more, be authentic, tell the truth, exude positive body language, maintain calm, use names, and ask questions. The reward isn’t mere popularity, but deeper trust, connection, and organizational health.

Recommended Action:

• Share this episode with your team or staff for practical, actionable leadership development.
• For deeper insight, consider reading The Likeability Factor by Tim Sanders.