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Can't I just let it go?

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I was thinking so much.

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Chapter 39 it was the second week in May in which the three young ladies set out together from Gracechurch street for Meryton in Hertfordshire, and as they drew near the appointed inn where Mr. Bennet's carriage was to meet them, they quickly perceived, in token of the coachman's punctuality, both Kitty and Lydia looking out of a dining room upstairs. These two girls had been above an hour in the place, happily employed in visiting an opposite milliner, watching the Sentinel on guard and dressing a salad and cucumber. After welcoming their sisters, they triumphantly displayed a table set out with such cold meat as an inn larder usually affords, exclaiming, is not this nice? Is not this an agreeable surprise? And we mean to treat you all, added Lydia, but you must lend us the money, for we have just spent hours at the shop out there. Then showing her purchases look here, I have bought this bonnet. I do not think it is very pretty, but I thought I might as well buy it as not. I shall pull it to pieces as soon as I get home and see if I can make it up any better. And when her sisters abused it as ugly, she added with perfect unconcern, oh, but there were two or three much uglier in the shop. And when I have bought some prettier coloured satin to trim it with fresh, I think it will be very tolerable. Besides, it will not much signify what one wears this summer after the militia have left Meryton, and they are going in a fortnight. Are they indeed? Cried Elizabeth, with the greatest satisfaction. They are going to be encamped near Brighton, and I do so want papa to take us all there for the summer. It would be such a delicious scheme, and I dare say would hardly cost anything at all. Mama would like to go too, of all things. Only think what a miserable summer else we shall have. Yes, thought Elizabeth, that would be a delightful scheme indeed, and completely do for us at the same time. Good heaven. Brighton and a whole camp full of soldiers to us who have been overset already by one poor regiment of militia and the monthly balls of Meryton. Now I have got some news for you, said Lydia, as they sat down to table. What do you think it is? Excellent news. Capital news, and about a certain person that we all like. Jane and Elizabeth looked at each other and the waiter was told that he need not stay. Lydia laughed and said, ay, that is just like your formality and discretion. You thought the waiter must not hear. As if he cared. I dare say he often hears worse things said than I am going to say. But he is an ugly fellow. I'm glad he's gone. I never saw such a long chin in my life. Well, but now for my news. It is about dear Wickham. Too good for the waiter, is not it? There is no danger of Wickham's marrying Mary King. There's for you. She has gone down to her uncle at Liverpool. Gone to stay. Wickham is safe and Mary King is safe, added Elizabeth. Safe from a connection imprudent as to fortune. She is a great fool for going away, if she liked him, said Lydia. But I hope there is no strong attachment on either side, said Jane. I am sure there is not on his, replied Lydia. I will answer for it. He never cared three straws about her. Who could about such a nasty little freckled thing? Elizabeth was shocked to think that however incapable of such coarseness of expression herself. The coarseness of the sentiment was little other than her own breast had formerly harbored and fancied Liberal. As soon as all had eaten and the elder ones paid, the carriage was ordered, and after some contrivance, the whole party, with all their boxes, work bags and parcels, and the unwelcome addition of Kitty's and Lydia's purchases, were seated in it. How nicely we are crammed in, cried Lydia. I'm glad I bought my bonnet, if it is only for the fun of having another bandbox. Now, let us be quite comfortable and snug and to talk and laugh all the way home. And in the first place, let us hear what has happened to you all since you went away. Have you seen any pleasant men? Have you had any flirting? I was in great hopes that one of you would have got a husband before you came back. Jane will be quite an old maid soon, I declare. She is almost 3 and 20. Lord, how ashamed I should be of not being married before 3 and 20. My aunt Phillips wants you so. To get husbands, you can't think. She says Lizzy had better have taken Mr. Collins, but I do not think there would have been any fun in it. Lord, how I should like to be married before any of you, and then I would chaperone you about to all the balls. Dear me. We had such a good piece of fun the other day at Colonel Forster's. Kitty and me were supposed to spend the whole day there, and Mrs. Forster promised to have a little dance in the evening. Oh, by the by, Mrs. Forster and me are such friends. And so she asked the two Harringtons to come, and. But Harriet was ill, and so Pen was forced to come by herself. And then what do you think we did? We dressed up Chamberlain in woman's clothes on purpose to pass for a lady. Only think what fun. Not a soul knew of it but Colonel and Mrs. Forster and Kitty and me, except my aunt, for we were forced to borrow one of her gowns. And you cannot imagine how well he looked when Denny and Wickham and Pratt and two or three more of the men came in. They did not know him in the least. Lord, how I laughed. And so did Mrs. Forster. I thought I should have died, and that made the men suspect something. And then they soon found out what was the matter. With such kind of histories of their parties and good jokes, did Lydia, assisted by Kitty's hints and additions, endeavor to amuse her companions? All the way to Longbourn, Elizabeth listened as little as she could, but there was no escaping the frequent mention of Wickham's name. Their reception at home was most kind. Mrs. Bennet rejoiced to see Jane in undiminished beauty. And more than once during dinner did Mr. Bennet say voluntarily to Elizabeth, I'm glad you are come back, Lizzie. Their party in the dining room was large, for almost all the Lucases came to meet Maria and hear the news. And various were the subjects which occupied them. Lady Lucas was inquiring of Maria across the table after the welfare and poultry of her eldest daughter, Mrs. Collins. Mrs. Bennet was doubly engaged, on one hand, collecting an account of the present fashions from Jane, who sat some way below her, and on the other, retailing them all to the younger Miss Lucases. And Lydia, in a voice rather louder than any other person's, was enumerating the various pleasures of mourning to anybody who would hear her. Oh, Mary, said she, I wish you had gone with us, for we had such fun. As we went along, Kitty and me drew up all the blinds and. And pretended there was nobody in the coach, and I should have gone so all the way if Kitty had not been sick. And when we got to the George, I do think we behaved very handsomely, for we treated the other three with the nicest cold luncheon in the world. And if you would have gone, we would have treated you too. And then when we came away, it was such fun, I thought we knew never should have got into the coach. I was ready to die of laughter. And then we were so merry all the way home we talked and laughed so loud that anybody might have heard us 10 miles off. To this Mary very gravely replied, far be it from me, my dear sister, to depreciate such pleasures. They would doubtless be congenial with the generality of female minds, but I confess they would have no charms for me. I should infinitely prefer a book. But of this answer Lydia heard not a word. She seldom listened to anybody for more than half a minute, and never attended to Mary at all. In the afternoon, Lydia was urgent with the rest of the girls to walk to Meryton and see how everybody went on. But Elizabeth steadily opposed the scheme. It should not be said that the Miss Bennets could not be at home half a day before they were in pursuit of the officers. There was another reason too, for her opposition. She dreaded seeing Wickham again, and was resolved to avoid it as long as possible. The comfort to her of the regiment's approaching removal was indeed beyond expression. In a fortnight they were to go. And once gone, she hoped there could be nothing more to plague her on his account. She had not been many hours at home before she found that the Brighton scheme, of which Lydia had given them a hint at the inn, was under frequent discussion between her parents. Elizabeth saw directly that her father had not the smallest intention of yielding, but his answers were at the same time so vague and equivocal that her mother, though often disheartened, had never yet despaired of succeeding at last.

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Narrator (Julie Andrews) (26:38)

See Mint mobile.com chapter 40 Elizabeth's impatience to acquaint Jane with what had happened could no longer be overcome, and at length, resolving to suppress every particular in which her sister was concerned, and preparing her to be surprised, she related to her the next morning the chief of the scene between Mr. Darcy and herself. Ms. Bennet's astonishment was soon lessened by the strong sisterly partiality which made any admiration of Elizabeth appear perfectly natural, and all surprise was shortly lost. She was sorry that Mr. Darcy should have delivered his sentiments in a manner so little suited to recommend them, but still more was she grieved for the unhappiness which her sister's refusal must have given him. His being so sure of succeeding was wrong, said Jane, and certainly ought not to have appeared, but consider how much it must increase his disappointment. Indeed, replied Elizabeth, I am heartily sorry for him, but he has other feelings, which will probably soon drive away his regard for me. You do not blame me, however, for refusing him? Blame you? Oh, no. But you blame me for having spoken so warmly of Wickham? Asked Elizabeth. No, I do not know that you were wrong in saying what you did, replied Jane. But you will know it when I have told you what happened the very next day, said Lizzie. She then spoke of the letter, repeating the whole of its contents as far as they concerned. George Wickham. What a stroke was this for poor Jane, who would willingly have gone through the world without believing that so much wickedness existed in the whole race of mankind as was here collected in one individual. Nor was Darcy's vindication, though grateful to her feelings, capable of consoling her for such discovery. Most earnestly did she labor to prove the probability of error and seek to clear one without involving the other. This will not do, said Elizabeth. You never will be able to make both of them good for anything. Take your choice, but you must be satisfied with only one. There isn't but such a quantity of merit between them, just enough to make one good sort of man. And of late, it has been shifting about pretty much. For my part, I am inclined to believe it all Mr. Darcy's, but you shall do as you choose. It was some time, however, before a smile could be extorted from Jane. I do not know when I have been more shocked, said she. Wickham. So very bad. It is almost past belief. And poor Mr. Darcy. Dear Lizzy. Only consider what he must have suffered. Such a disappointment, and with the knowledge of your ill opinion too, and having to relay such a thing of his sister, it is really too distressing. I am sure you must feel it so. Oh, no, replied Lizzy. My regret and compassion are all done away by seeing you so full of both. I know you will do him such ample justice that I am growing every moment more unconcerned and indifferent. Your profusion makes me saving, and if you lament over him much longer, my heart will be as light as a feather. Poor Wickham, said Jane. There is such an expression of goodness in his countenance, such an openness and gentleness in his manner. There certainly was some great mismanagement in the education of those two young men, replied Lizzie. One has got all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it. I never thought Mr. Darcy so deficient in the appearance of it as you used to do, said Jane. And yet I meant to be so uncommonly clever in taking so decided a dislike to him. Without any reason, replied Lizzie. It is such a spur to one's genius, such an opening for wit, to have a dislike of that kind. One may be continually abusive without saying anything just, but one cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty. Lizzie, when you first read that letter, I am sure you could not treat the matter as you do now. Indeed, replied Lizzie, I could not. I was uncomfortable enough. I was very uncomfortable, I may say, unhappy. And with no one to speak to of what I felt, no Jane, to comfort me and say that I had not been so very weak and vain and nonsensical as I knew I had. Oh, how I wanted you. How unfortunate that you should have used such very strong expressions in speaking of Wickham to Mr. Darcy. For now they do appear wholly undeserved, said Jane. Certainly, replied Lizzy. But the misfortune of speaking with bitterness is a most natural consequence of the prejudices I had been encouraging. There is one point on which I want your advice. I want to be told whether I ought or ought not to make our acquaintances in general understand Wickham's character. Jane paused a little and then replied, surely there can be no occasion for exposing him so dreadfully. What is your own opinion? That it ought not to be attempted, replied Lizzie. Mr. Darcy has not authorised me to make his communication public. On the contrary, every particular relative to his sister was meant to be kept as much as possible to myself. And if I endeavour to undeceive people as to the rest of his conduct, who will believe me? The General prejudice against Mr. Darcy is so violent that it would be the death of half the good people in Meryton to attempt to place him in an amiable light. I am not equal to it. Wickham will soon be gone, and therefore it will not signify to anybody here what he really is. Sometime hence it will all be found out, and then we may laugh at their stupidity in not knowing it before. At present, I will say nothing about it. You are quite right, replied Jane. To have his errors made public might ruin him forever. He is now perhaps sorry for what he has done, and anxious to re establish a character. We must not make him desperate. The tumult of Elizabeth's mind was allayed by this conversation. She had got rid of two of the secrets which had weighed on her for a fortnight, and was certain of a willing listener in Jane whenever she might wish to talk again of either. But there was still something lurking behind, of which prudence forbade the disclosure. She dared not relate the other half of Mr. Darcy's letter, nor explain to her sister how sincerely she had been valued by his friend. Here was knowledge in which no one could partake. And she was sensible that nothing less than a poor perfect understanding between the parties could justify her in throwing off this last encumbrance of mystery. And then, said she to herself, if that very improbable event should ever take place, I shall merely be able to tell what Mr. Bingley may tell in a much more agreeable manner himself. The liberty of communication cannot be mine till it has lost all its value. She was now, on being settled at home, at leisure to observe the real state of her sister's spirits. Jane was not happy. She still cherished a very tender affection for Mr. Bingley, having never even fancied herself in love before her regard had all the warmth of thirst, attachment, and from her age and disposition greater steadiness than first attachments often boast. And so fervently did she value his remembrance and prefer him to every other man, that all her good sense and all her attention to the feelings of her friends were requisite to check the indulgence of those regrets which would have been injurious to her own health and their tranquillity. Well, Lizzie, said Mrs. Bennet one day, what is your opinion now of this sad business of Jane's? For my part, I am determined never to speak of it again to anybody. I told my sister Philip so the other day, but I cannot find out that Jane saw anything of him in London. Well, he is a very undeserving young man, and I do not suppose there is the least chance in the world of her ever getting him now. There is no talk of his coming to Netherfield again in the summer. And I have inquired of everybody too, who is likely to know? I do not believe that he will ever live at Netherfield any more, replied Lizzie. Oh, well, it is just as he chooses. Nobody wants him to come, though I shall always say that he used my daughter extremely ill, and if I was her, I would not have put up with it. Well, my comfort is, I am sure, Jane will die of a broken heart, and then he will be sorry for what he has done. But as Elizabeth could not receive comfort from any such expectation, she made no answer. Well, Lizzy, continued her mother soon afterwards. And so the Collinses live very comfortable, do they? Well, well, I only hope it will last. And what sort of table do they keep? Charlotte is an excellent manager, I dare say. If she is half as sharp as her mother, she is. Saving enough. There is nothing extravagant in their housekeeping, I dare say. No, nothing at all, replied Lizzie. A great deal of good management depend upon it. Yes, yes, they will take care not to outrun their income. They will never be distressed for money. Well, much good may it do them. And so I suppose they often talk of having Longbourn when your father is dead. They look upon it quite as their own, I dare say whenever that happens. It was a subject which they could not mention before me, said Lizzie. No, it would have been strange if they had, replied Mrs. Bennet, but I make no doubt they often talk of it between themselves. Well, if they can be easy with an estate that is not lawfully their own, so much the better. I should be ashamed of having one that was only entailed on me. In the next episode, Elizabeth is barely at home before she sets out on another journey, this time traveling north with her aunt and uncle. Meanwhile, her sister Lydia is invited south to travel with the militia to Brighton. But can she be trusted to behave around the officers? Lizzie sees Mr. Wickham for the first time since learning the truth about him, and she is horrified to discover that her travels with her aunt and uncle will take her to Pemberley in Derbyshire, the estate owned by Mr. Darcy. It seems the pair cannot escape each other, that is next time on Jane Austen Stories Pride and Prejudice. You can listen to the next two episodes of Pride and Prejudice right now without waiting by subscribing to Noiser Plus. Head to www.noiser.subscriptions for more information or click the link in the episode description.

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