ASAP Preach: From Jail Cell Encounter to 35,000 Prison Salvations | The Jesus People Podcast Ep 50

Summary

Jesus People Podcast Ep 50: ASAP Preach – From Jail Cell Encounter to 35,000 Prison Salvations
Date: December 15, 2025
Host: Ryan Miller
Guest: ASAP Preach

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Episode Overview

This episode of the Jesus People Podcast features ASAP Preach, a Christian hip-hop artist and prison ministry leader whose radical journey took him from addiction and incarceration to healing, faith, and impacting tens of thousands behind bars. Host Ryan Miller and ASAP Preach dig deep into themes of trauma, brokenness, surrender, and the authentic power of testimony. The conversation is raw, redemptive, and centered on how Jesus' love meets people in their darkest places—and how surrendering even ongoing pain can keep a person close to God.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Early Life, Trauma, and Brokenness

• Environment & Upbringing
  • ASAP Preach describes a childhood marked by instability: his parents divorced when he was two, a stepfather filled the father role, and parties were frequent in the home. While his mother called herself Christian, faith was not modeled day-to-day ([18:11–20:14]).
  • He shares how his grandmother, a traveling evangelist, was his only real source of faith planting seeds of Jesus' love, even gifting him his first Bible ([20:45–22:45]).
• Abuse and Early Exposure
  • He bravely recounts being sexually assaulted as a child, how it set him on a path of confusion, secrecy, and addiction to pornography, as well as experimentation with drugs ([07:30–13:48]).
  • Memorable Moment: “When I finally was able to just one time just confess it … I felt a lot of freedom. I feel like that breaks the ice with people.” – ASAP Preach ([13:23])
• Shaping Influences
  • Early exposure to the world’s temptations, including substance abuse, sex, and lack of boundaries, is openly discussed—emphasizing the impact of generational cycles and hidden wounds.
• Notable Quote:
  • “The enemy wants to keep these things in secret. He doesn’t want us to confess ... but when I confessed it, I found freedom.” – ASAP Preach ([13:39])

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Hitting Rock Bottom & Jail Cell Encounter with God

• Descent into Darkness
  • After a toxic relationship with a pastor’s daughter and deep addiction, ASAP Preach finds himself homeless, hustling, and eventually getting arrested for theft ([25:14–31:22]).
  • He describes a suicide attempt and emotional breakdown upon arrest, marking the lowest point of his life ([31:24]).
• Transformational Jail Encounter
  • In a jail cell, he picks up a Bible and experiences the presence of God deeply for the first time.
  • Notable Quote:
    • “I felt a presence go into that room that I've been yearning for all my life. … In that jail cell ... it was me and that Bible … it just started speaking to me.” – ASAP Preach ([31:24])
  • He recounts a spontaneous self-baptism in the jail shower after being prompted by the Holy Spirit ([31:24–33:31]).
  • On release, he is filled with a new urge to share hope and pivots his musical passion to glorify God.

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Wrestling with Lukewarmness & Finding Real Identity

• Struggles with Sin and Backsliding
  • ASAP Preach openly discusses continual battles with addiction, pornography, and periods of backsliding even after his jailhouse conversion ([33:31–42:32]).
  • Notable Quote:
    • “Did I become a new creation? Yes... but did some things still stay? My mind needed to continue to be renewed.” – ASAP Preach ([33:31])
• The Power of Surrender and Community
  • Finding identity as a beloved son of God, learning to take thoughts captive, and seeking accountability were breakthroughs for lasting change.
• Advice for Others
  • He urges honest confession and embracing God’s love rather than self-dependence or works-based faith.

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Prison Ministry, Music, and Massive Impact

• God Behind Bars & the Pando App
  • Describes his partnership with the Pando app (a Christian streaming service in prisons), which exclusively featured his documentary and content, leading to over 35,000 prisoners indicating decisions for Christ ([02:53–06:35]).
  • “The inmates are only allowed to click accept Christ one time on their account. … 35,000 of them decided to do that on my channel.” – ASAP Preach ([04:28])
• Testimonies from Inmates
  • Shares the overwhelming response: stacks of letters monthly, stories of gang leaders and sex offenders finding Christ, and the weight of so many broken lives being transformed ([06:35–09:01]).
• Authenticity in Ministry
  • Attributes his effectiveness to being relatable, open, and not fronting spiritual perfection—focusing on love and hope over legalism.

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The Gospel, Grace, and Communicating Hope

• What is the Gospel?
  • “The gospel is like a rescue story. … God came to us in the form of Jesus and he traded his crown of glory for a crown of thorns to save us when we couldn't save ourselves.” – ASAP Preach ([44:10])
• Reaching the “Unreachable”
  • Emphasizes showing love, not judgment, to incarcerated or deeply broken people, reminding them “the gifts and the callings are without repentance” – no one is too far gone ([45:26–46:43]).
• Role of Brokenness
  • Describes feeling closest to God in his weakest moments—amid depression, ongoing heart health struggles, and the pressure of family provision ([48:04–51:58]).
  • Quote: “Everybody wants to pray the pain away, but God has been showing me that the pain is necessary for me to stay closer to Him.” – ASAP Preach ([50:05])

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Maintaining Faith, Obedience, and Intimacy

• Keeping the Fire Burning
  • Warns against performance, public persona, and relying on past encounters. Staying “real” with God means ongoing surrender, including allowing God into every room of the heart ([59:19–61:02]).
  • “I don't want to trade my purpose for a platform. I want to make sure that I'm right with the Lord before I need to be out there ministering.” – ASAP Preach ([59:19])
• Obedience and Blessing
  • Shares a convicting word received from a mentor: “Bro, your family is missing out on their blessings because of your disobedience.” ([61:04])
• True Faithfulness
  • Contrasts pursuing Jesus for relationship (intimacy, oil in the lamp) vs. pursuing Him for what He gives, likening David’s cry for God’s presence versus Saul’s fear of losing his throne ([64:22–65:17]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The enemy wants to keep these things in secret. He doesn’t want us to confess ... but when I confessed it, I found freedom.” – ASAP Preach ([13:39])
• “I felt the God of the universe having an encounter with me in my jail cell.” – ASAP Preach ([00:00], [31:24])
• “When they see, when they feel loved, that they can be redeemed … they can receive their calling right there at that very moment.” – ASAP Preach ([45:26])
• “Everybody wants to pray the pain away, but God has been showing me that the pain is necessary for me to stay closer to Him.” – ASAP Preach ([50:05])
• “I don't want to trade my purpose for a platform.” – ASAP Preach ([59:19])
• “If you love me, you'll obey me … It shouldn’t be a burden to be obedient.” – ASAP Preach ([65:17])
• “Your family is missing out on their blessings because of your disobedience.” – Mentor to ASAP Preach ([61:04])

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Important Timestamps

• [00:00] ASAP Preach’s transformative jail cell encounter with God
• [02:53] Influence & impact of his prison ministry and 35,000 salvations via Pando
• [07:30] Discussion of childhood trauma, addiction, and secrecy
• [13:23] The healing power of confession and authenticity
• [31:24] The lowest point – arrest, suicidal thoughts, and meeting God in jail
• [44:10] The meaning of the gospel to ASAP Preach
• [48:04] Feeling closest to God in weakness and ongoing struggle
• [61:04] “Your family is missing out on their blessings because of your disobedience.”

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Recurring Themes and Tone

• Raw Honesty: Both host and guest maintain a vulnerable, relatable style, openly sharing failures, doubts, and pain.
• Redemptive Hope: The episode consistently points to God’s undeserved love, mercy, and relentless pursuit of broken people.
• Challenge to Listeners: There’s an ongoing call to surrender fully, pursue authentic relationship with Jesus, and step into purpose—no matter what dark places you come from.

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Closing – Prayer & How to Connect

• ASAP Preach asks for prayer to remain a faithful husband, father, and leader at home: “That’s my first ministry. If I can stay doing that at home, then I'm good and fit to preach the word outside in the world.” ([68:19])
• Listeners are encouraged to find him on Facebook, TikTok, and at asappreachmusic.com ([68:46]).
• ASAP Preach closes the episode with a heartfelt prayer for anyone struggling with lukewarmness or pain, inviting surrender, healing, and the peace of Christ ([69:03]).

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This episode is a must-listen for anyone wrestling with past pain, feeling like they’ve fallen too far, or hungry for a raw, hope-filled perspective on God’s redemptive power.

Transcript

[ASAP Preach]

I was just like, lord, if you get me out of this mug, I'll serve you for the rest of my life. And I was like, I don't want to wait on you to get me out of this place for me to start serving you. I'm just going to read. And so as I read, I was just getting fed. It was speaking to me. I felt the God of the universe having an encounter with me in my jail cel.

[Podcast Host]

Guys, welcome to the Jesus People podcast today. So honored to have ASAP preach on with us. Thanks for being here, bro.

[ASAP Preach]

Thank you, brother, for asking me to come.

[Podcast Host]

Absolutely, man. Absolutely. Last minute. What an honor.

[ASAP Preach]

Yes. And.

[Podcast Host]

And another local buddy, so friend now. Man, I keep telling people this has been the biggest blessing of this podcast is just having homies, like, getting to meet people and being like, I brought you on for the podcast. But now, like, we're hanging out with our families and we're. We're buddies now, so. Looking forward to that.

[ASAP Preach]

And it's crazy. Cause, like, I was just telling you when I just walked in, there's a pond right now outside that I was, like, fishing at one time. So as soon as I saw that fishing pond, I was like, oh, man, I fished here. Like, this is. This is kind of like, you know, close to where we would, like, go hang out and me and my buddies and go fishing and stuff and, you know, didn't know, like. And later in life, I would be coming to one of the houses right over here.

[Podcast Host]

So this was early in life you had, like, a flashback.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah, kind of like a flashback.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Praise God.

[ASAP Preach]

So.

[Podcast Host]

Because a lot's happened.

[ASAP Preach]

Lots happened.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I'm really excited to get into that.

[ASAP Preach]

Yes, sir.

[Podcast Host]

And we have some mutual buddies. God behind bars, guys.

[ASAP Preach]

Bars.

[Podcast Host]

If you guys haven't heard of God behind bars, go check out that ministry.

[ASAP Preach]

Beautiful ministry. Amazing ministry. I look at that ministry as, like, being one of the key pillars of, like, them pushing me into what I'm doing now. You know, obviously with the prison ministry and stuff. People don't know. Yeah, I do a lot of prison ministry. I go into these prisons and they can look at me and feel comfortable. They don't have to feel like, oh, like they could see that I've been through some things too, and they know that I ain't scared to talk about certain things, and they can relate to that. You know, somebody that's real and not really putting on a front, not trying to sound holier than thou or to just really be real, you know, and. But, man, shout out To God behind bars. And. And also John Gabbana for helping, you know, John, bro, good look out. Love him. But yeah, man, I'm grateful to be here. Thank you for having me.

[Podcast Host]

Of course. Of course. Yeah. You were sharing a little bit about the ministry you do in prisons. And quickly share, because I want to get into your story a little bit, but share about the Pando app and what God's been doing through your story there.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah. So, you know, I. I dropped a documentary about a year ago. I didn't know what I was going to do with the documentary. I thought I was just going to drop it on YouTube. It's cool. To show how. Where I came from. And then, you know, got where I am, you know, in my career and in my ministry. And I was just going to drop it on YouTube. But I had two of the biggest prison podcasts reach out, wanting to drop it on their channel, and. And then, you know, the Lord ended up opening up a door for God behind bars. I prayed about it and with my pastor and. And then they hit me up the very next day, and they're like, how we want to do a piece on you and. And put you in the podcast and we'll drop it. And so it was so special to me. I was bl. This is a app that's in the prisons. You know, back in the day when I went to jail, we didn't have.

[Podcast Host]

Like, Netflix in the prison.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah, it's like YouTube kind of. Right? Christian YouTube.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And not only that, it's a. It's a. It's like an app that they're very protective of. You know, you don't want just anybody coming up on your app, and. And the next thing you know, you're helping promote a wolf. You know what I mean? We gotta be careful with that. We're just letting anybody on their podcast or just whatever like that. And so for them to, you know, have me have an opportunity to do that, it was incredible. It felt like YouTube, they were like, look, we're gonna drop it. They're not. They. They. The documentary didn't drop on anything else, but it was dropped by Pando itself.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And so it felt so special. I was like, man, this is like, equivalent, as if, like, YouTube dropped my video.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And they did like a. Like a banner on the top and everything. And I was just like, wow, Lord, I had no idea that this was going to happen. And then I grew kind of like a fan base in. In the prisons. You know, we. Over the a half, we've had over 35,000 salvations. And the inmates are only allowed to click accept Christ one time on their account. And they chose, you know, 35,000 of them decided to do that on my channel. And so. Let's pause. Let's pause. Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

You've had 35,000 people accept Christ in prisons.

[ASAP Preach]

Yes, we. We believe that, you know, that they were confessing Christ. And what's amazing is that when they go click Christ, then it goes to a video of me.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[ASAP Preach]

At first it was going to a video of the. The. The basic video of Jake Bodine.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

Doing the. Pretty much a. A prayer of leading them to Christ. And then they allowed me to have my own custom one. And. And so I was able to do a video to start leading people to Christ myself through there. And. And it's been amazing. I like my f. I put my P.O. box in there to start getting some fan fans to write me and stuff. And then it ended up getting like, too much where, you know, I, I literally even in my car right now, I could have brought it in here, but just like stacks of. Just envelopes of people monthly just sending me on. On how my music has blessed them behind bars and how like. And these are people, like gang leaders, like, people that. You see the worst of the worst coming to find Christ through my story and touches my. My heart that these are like, even like the. All types of people, the worst of the worst sex offenders are coming to Christ, you know, and. And people that have way more crazier stories than me. And I'm like, wow. Like, I know I have a. I've been through some things, Lord, but these people have been through some even more crazier things. My. How's my testimony reaching them?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And so. But God just shows me, you know, I'm just being obedient and real and transparent with them, and they. They really can relate to that.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, man, that's beautiful. Can you tell me. Can you tell me a story or maybe tell me about a piece of mail that you've gotten that like, broke you or moved you in a really significant way?

[ASAP Preach]

Well, when I started to read them, like, when I first got the letters, I was reading almost all of them. Now it's to the point where I can't read all of them. It's so many. And, you know, I was excited about reading them, and I was probably reading like 50 a day.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[ASAP Preach]

And. And then I realized that I. It was con. It was just too much for me to read, you know, it was just so much heartbreak And I. And then having to stop reading and then go be a happy father to my children was difficult for me to handle.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And so. But there's been some crazy stories, you know, people. These. These people that have been molested, you know, and sexually assaulted. And like, I was. You know, I was sexually assaulted. In my documentary, I talk about it and how it completely stripped me from my innocence and pretty much became, like, the. The beginning stages of my defiance and me starting to, you know, act up in school. And my parents didn't know what was going on. I started to, you know, they started putting me on medication. My brain's not even fully developed, and they're putting me on medication that is one molecule away from methamphetamine.

[Podcast Host]

Mm.

[ASAP Preach]

And so, literally, that's what these doctors do nowadays. They just want to get you on all types of medication and numb you to get you to focus. And my parents thought it was going to help me focus on school, but actually it helped me focus on things that I was interested in doing. And then once I started to catch on that, I. I don't. I don't like this stuff. This stuff is, like. It's not making me feel good. Then I just started to sell it at school, you know, but. Yeah, so a lot of people can relate to that stuff, you know, I grew up in a. In a home that's a broken home. At two years old, my real father and my real mother got a divorce. And my. My real. My stepfather. A stepfather came into my life at 2. He became more like a friend to me. He was. He was cool to a kid. Like, he was. Just take me fishing, you know, Teach me how to be a man, you know? And, you know, there were moments where.

[Podcast Host]

Like, would you go snake fishing? Right. Is that what it sounds like? Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah. So we would go not fishing, but I. We would. We would throw them little spinner baits under a dock or something. We would see some. Some frogs or snakes and see if they would snatch. Snatch at them. And sometimes you would catch some, actually. But now we would go down to the creeks with, like, sticks and catch snakes. He would teach us all that type of stuff.

[Podcast Host]

Huh.

[ASAP Preach]

But never got bit. Throughout that whole time, I don't think I've. I've only came across one poisonous snake out of hundreds of snakes that we caught with our bare hands.

[Podcast Host]

And did you grab the poisonous snake?

[ASAP Preach]

No.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[ASAP Preach]

Now, once I saw that that was. That snake was different. I had. I was like, dad, get over here. You handle this.

[Podcast Host]

And he's like, cotton Mouth or what?

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah, probably cotton mouth or. He told me it was like a hybrid rattlesnake at that one point. But I don't know. I don't even know if that's even real. He might have just been guessing, too, because we didn't have Google back then or chat GBT to look up these things. But. Yeah, so, like, with me growing up with him and stuff, he would, you know, the enemy would throw little seeds, you know, after I got molested, he would throw little seeds into my life by, like, putting a pornography magazine in the middle of a field. Like, we didn't have Internet to go find. Yeah, pornography. And so, like, those are the ways the enemy would, like, throw things into my life would be like little. Little images and stuff like that. And he would never get. I would never get in trouble with him about it. You know, it was just something like that. A boy. Oh, I got a girl. I'm not. I'm like third grade, like. And he didn't know. He didn't know better. You know, he's just. The times were different back then, and I guess, like, you know, he's living in the world. This is just the way that men were at the time. And. And so, like, if I ever had a girl over at third year, third grade, like, if I was even trying to have sex with or anything, he would be like that. A boy, you know, just like, in the room. Like, he didn't care if I was having sex with girls in the room or anything like that. And.

[Podcast Host]

And did you know that that was wrong at that age?

[ASAP Preach]

No.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. So it almost instilled in you, like, oh, there's nothing wrong with it.

[ASAP Preach]

Nothing wrong with it. Because, like, I was introduced to that. That. That sexual thing from a boy across the street.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

You know, and so, like, I never knew that anything really of sex was really wrong.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. You know, even in that molestation, there was.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah, it was like. Well, I knew that I had to keep it in secret in a way, so I didn't know it was really wrong, but I knew I needed to keep that in secret, whatever, because it happened in secret. And it was something like, oh, we got, like, we gotta. We got. We don't want your parents. Because he was an older kid, and so he was teaching me to be, like, secret. He was at my house doing this to me. And so, like, ever since then, I always felt like I had to keep that in secret because that would happen in secret. And I never can. I never realized how that affected me until I realized That I was struggling in addiction of pornography for so long, even after being a Christian, I didn't know how to break that lust or anything. I didn't know what was going on. It didn't. I. I started to think, why am I even doing this? And I had to look back in my life and realize the first time I ever had any sexual encounter was because I was molested. And so that helped me bring some light to that whole thing and made me realize that, you know what? Maybe. Maybe that light, that. That reality of, you know, that happening and me keeping it a secret. The enemy wants to keep these things in secret. He doesn't want us to confess.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

You know, because somebody may be dealing with it, you know, and. And they. And they. They keep it in the darkness and that the whole time. It's just, you know, staying in there, bottling up. And, you know, when I finally was able to just one time just confess it, I think it was at a show or something. And I just said it. A man, grown man, tattoos, saying this thing that men don't say. Men don't want to confess that they were molested. Like, that ain't even cool. Like, who cares, right? But, you know, a lot of people can relate to that story. But I felt a lot of freedom. I feel like that breaks the ice with people.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

You know, your story is going to be different than my story in areas, and so is mine. So, you know, I'm not trying to reach the whole world. I'm just trying to reach who God wants me to reach. And through my testimony, there's power in it. And so I want to be real, because if I'm not being real in my testimony, I feel like somebody's missing out on their breakthrough because I'm being quiet and not being. And real.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, that's good. When you. So you felt you were on stage, did you feel a prompting to share this thing?

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah, and it was a random prompting. It was like, hey, remember this? Boom. All right, let's talk about it, like, in the moment. In the moment.

[Podcast Host]

No, never had shared with anybody before.

[ASAP Preach]

I think I. I mean, the moment when I was out there in Florida at the show, I talked to the person that. God, when I was right in that moment, I realized, you know, I think we were talking about it a little bit, and then the Lord reminded me, not alone, but with somebody. And then I spoke about it in that moment. But it was to. That was probably, you know, on stage was probably one of the first times I ever just said it. And Just confessed it.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[ASAP Preach]

You know?

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[ASAP Preach]

But even like. And it's just the enemy's trying to get these children while they're young, you know, even my son, like, I tried to trust my son with a cell phone, like, to be able to, you know, do his thing. He's, he's. He wants to be just like me. He wants to make music and beats and videos just like his daddy. And, you know, he, he came across pornography at, at 6 years old. And once I found out what was going on, I'm like, man, like what? Like, you can't. The enemy is out to kill, steal and destroy these, these children's innocence. And, and, and so like my. He doesn't have that no more. You know, like, we had to set boundaries. And in this world and even in the past, when I was growing up, I'm 37 years old, my parents never set any boundaries. But we also didn't know how technology, how technology would come in and, you know, be all the stuff would be so accessible. How it is now.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, man. Oh, yeah. I've got a, I've got a router back there behind this lamp that is like a router level solution where if you even pull out my phone, like, even if my kids grab it, can't get through to anything.

[ASAP Preach]

Nice.

[Podcast Host]

Because it's blocking it right at the router.

[ASAP Preach]

Nice.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. I'll never forget the first time I saw porn. I was probably, I don't know, 10 years old.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And I remember that same feeling that you were describing of like, there's something here that's. Doesn't feel like that should have been happening. You know, not necessarily being like, oh, I know that I'm not supposed to look at that, but just there was something that. And I think it's like that God given design in us. Like, this is made for intimacy. Like, this is supposed to be in covenant. This is supposed to be. But it happened out of that. And so like, maybe even in the same way that God says his invisible qualities are known for all. So no one's without excuse. Like even his kingdom, like when we step out of alignment with that, there's still a part of us that still needs to learn sexual boundaries and all that stuff.

[ASAP Preach]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

There's still a little bit us that's like, ooh, there's something sacred here. There's something interesting here that like, I don't know that that was supposed to happen in that way. So.

[ASAP Preach]

Trespassing.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Guys, I want to stop and tell you about my ministry. Share the struggle. I Have for so long thought that the mental health crisis is the missions moment of our decade. And if you're needing support for your anxiety or your trauma or your marriage or relationships, we have coaches available that will pray with you, that'll do inner healing prayer with you, that'll go to the scriptures and then provide the best in class therapeutic principles to help you move forward in whatever God has for. Check that out. We also have courses you can go to sharethestruggle.org and get the relief you're needing.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah. And I kind of even look at it with the power of the life and tongue. It really matters. And so whoever's dealing with suicidal thoughts or even dealing with depression or even financial issues, not to speak as if it is right at that moment. Like, if you're broke, don't say that I'm broke, but speak in advance that God, God got me. I trust him. I'm. He's gonna. He's my provider. And just start speaking these things and you start walking in Vic victory when you do that.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, man.

[ASAP Preach]

You can start seeing things around you start changing because you're not coming in agreement with the. With the what the enemy wants you to come in an agreement with.

[Podcast Host]

Amen. Amen. I mean, like the Bible is pretty clear. There's life and death in the power of the tongue.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So even when you go and you curse a plant.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

It dies. Like this is science we're talking about.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah. And he even says that in the scriptures.

[Podcast Host]

It's wild.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

It's beautiful. Like, okay, so you're. You're stepdad is kind of like just kind of like a homie.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah, he's like a homie.

[Podcast Host]

And your mom, was she a believer? Did she.

[ASAP Preach]

So she said she was Christian and. But they would have parties every single weekend and so. Every single weekend. Nah, God forgive me. Not every single weekend. But it was like very often they would throw parties and they would have everybody coming out. They were popular. I was the only child, so I'd always have friends staying over at my house. They knew that, you know, I was pretty spoiled. I had the tree house and the trampoline, all the popsicles. So they would all come over and want to hang out. Yeah. And so. But yeah, so she would say, I'm Christian. But they never really lived a lifestyle. And we never really went to church. Every now and then they would go to church. I remember one time that they, they took us to my dad and my mom took me to a church. And they're like, yeah, we're supposed to sing today at church. And they went there and sang. And this wasn't no typical worship music. You could tell my parents are not saved by the song that they chose. They sang He Got the Whole World. And I'm like, what in the world is happening here? Like, but so, like, that was the most Christian thing I think I've ever seen. But my mom loved me, you know, she was a very, very good mom. After she passed away, I started going through her stuff and, and looking that, you know, in it, through her Bibles and stuff. And. And you could tell that when she was younger, maybe around, like, you know, 16, 17, she lost her mom. And so she. She was probably going through a really rough time and she was running to Christ for some, you know, some help. And she had a couple of Bibles with her name and stuff highlighted in there. So, you know, I don't know what. What happened, but, you know, she was going through a really rough time with my stepdad. My. My stepdad, you know, from what I've heard is, you know, he slept around a lot and, and so.

[Podcast Host]

Your stepdad?

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah, my stepdad. The one that was kind of like my homie.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

You know, he was kind of like.

[Podcast Host]

The one in the documentary.

[ASAP Preach]

The one in the documentary, yeah. And so she was going through a lot, and that doesn't give you an excuse to, you know, fall away from Christ. But I could see how that could happen, you know, just going through a lot. Why, God? Why are you allowing this to happen? Me? You've forsaken me. I'm going to forsake you pretty much. But, you know, over time, my grandmother, she was a traveling evangelist. She's still alive to this day. She would come by maybe four time, like four or five times as me being a child, and she would tell me about Jesus.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[ASAP Preach]

And. And so that was really the only Jesus I knew was her. Just when she would come over and talk to me and see me and visit me, it was all Jesus.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

It was just never had no one talk to me about it. She'd get me my. You don't got your own Bible here, I got your. Your first Bible. Whoopty, whoop. And she would, she would. She would instill Christ in me so much that I would. I would remember taking that Bible and like, moving at lunch at school, getting away from all of my friends and just being a loner. Like a day or two after, she would minister to me and I would just read the Bible at the, at the lunch table by myself.

[Podcast Host]

Wow.

[ASAP Preach]

And so, like, it was the seed. Like, it was. It was something that I realized that it fed me.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

What she was speaking into me. And so, you know, just little seeds like that, I think played a big part in. For me to, you know, run to the living water, you know, of Christ. And when I. When I went rock bottom. Yeah. And I, I. I praise God that I get to go see her again. And, you know, she really is the only one I have left. And she's like 90 years old. She's still alive. My. My mom died. My. My real father passed away. My grandfather passed away. You know, I never really had a grandma. She's the only grandma I've ever known. I never really knew her as a. As a young adult or anything. I just know her as adult now. I'm starting to get to know who she is, but she's the most mightiest woman I've ever met in my life of God. Like, she speaks scripture. She. She said that there's not been one day in her life that she has never prayed for any of her grandchildren or me.

[Podcast Host]

Whoa.

[ASAP Preach]

Not one day. And I was like, that dedication to just spend hours with God to pray for everyone. That's on your. That, that, that, you know, is just incredible to me, and it's inspiring, you know, but she's so filled with joy. She is, bro. And I. And I introduced her to my children for the first time a year ago when we. Out in Tennessee, and she just had them all gathered around her and she just ministered to all of them. It was almost like a sermon on the mound type of moment where it was like Jesus ministering to all of his children. She was just so Jesus at that moment. It was just all.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

All about ministering to the kids. It was a beautiful moment. My kids are, you know, because my kids have seen me be lukewarm at times. So seeing, you know, this was still not like, you know, like, she didn't see. They. They didn't see it like a fire, Daddy. Like that. You know, she's not on social media being distracted by all these type of things. So sometimes our fire can go out. You know, as Christians, it happens. Like, you know, if. If that's never happened, man, I. I think you're a liar, to be honest. You know.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[ASAP Preach]

But, you know, there's so many distractions that we have in this world now that can kind of put our fire, keep our light dim.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

You know, and you could tell that she doesn't have that light dimmed, you know, in her home.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

It's beautiful to see.

[Podcast Host]

So where did things go awry you mentioned? Rock bottom.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah. So I was dating this pastor's daughter, and. And I only went to church because there was like, no parties on the weekends or that we could go to. So on Sundays or Wednesdays, we would go to church to look for girls and stuff like that. And yeah, that was like, the Lord was using the girls to be lures to me to go there and. And get fed in ways. But so I was dating this pastor's daughter and. And it was so toxic, bro. The most toxic relationship ever. It was like, you know, because she wasn't really a pat. Like, she didn't act like a pastor's daughter should. She was a stripper. And so, like, she was already, like a defiant child. Her parents all knew about it. Like, she was just hard to deal with. She was, you know, I don't know what happened. She lost her dad. Her dad had committed suicide. So she was going through a lot.

[Podcast Host]

The pastor?

[ASAP Preach]

No, like her real father. So the pastor was actually a woman. She was like the. The second pastor's wife, but they were kind of like, you know, so her stepdad was the pastor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, yeah, so that was a super toxic relationship. And it was to the point where, you know, I was completely stuck in addiction when it came to popping pills, smoking weed. You know, I wanted to be with her, you know, but she was just so toxic. And she would. She would create so much jealousy in me because of all the guys. She had a Jezebel spirit on her. And so, like, she would have guys just being enticed by her looks by the way she would act. And also all the. You know how strippers probably are. They probably all trying to entice somebody with their looks. And they're in the. The. The aura that whatever they have the spirit behind them. And so she would always get other guys, like, to text her. I'd find my friends messaging or things like, you know, that. That are super inappropriate. And I would just. It was just so bad for me. It was to the point where we ended up breaking up. I was living at this lady's house. She couldn't get up out of bed. She was heavyset. And my parents. I was trying to be a man. I was trying to be a man. I didn't want to hit my parents up. They. They would let me move back in at any point if I wanted to, but I was just trying to, like, no, I'm tired of this. I don't want to have no curfew. I want to come home at 3 o' clock in the morning if I want to, 4 o' clock if I stay out. Not have to hit you up. And so I'm living at this lady's house. She can't even get up out of bed, and she's on. She's on pills. She allowed me to make a palette on her floor, and I just made a little palette on her living room floor with trash bag full of clothes. I worked right across the street in Euless, Texas, and that. I was working right across the street, but I was stealing. And so I was. I was stealing, I was making. I was selling, like, these game cards. I was kind of selling it. Like, if it was weed, I'd go up to people that are trying to buy, like, legit game cards. And since I can, like, like, put as much credit as I want on each game card to kind of like, help the machines, if someone's like, hey, this thing took my money, I could go scan it or what, whatever. But I would go up to people, like parents and stuff and be like, hey, I got these game cards. You know what I'm saying? Like, trying to hustle these game cards. And so I would, like, I'd be leaving. I would be there all the time. And they were probably wondering why I want to be there all the time.

[Podcast Host]

And what was the. The job again?

[ASAP Preach]

It was like. Like a arcade.

[Podcast Host]

Got it.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah, it's like an arcade. And so I lived right across the street. I'd walk over there trying to sell these game cards to these people, and I'd probably be leaving with like 700. I. I never really had money like that ever in my life. So that was a lot of money to me. And so, like, I was like, hooked on hustling these game cards. And I was. I was there so much that they gave me. Employee of the month. Yes. I had a picture. I had a picture plaque. Everything on the wall. I feel like I own this mug. Like, this is my space. Employee the month. The same month I got employee of the month. The same month my frame is up on that wall. They call me and they find out I'm. I was stealing.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And dang. I'm like, that was like, that hurt. I'm already going through a lot as everything I've gone through as a. As a kid, everything that I've been going through, trying to mask all this pain, dealing with depression, of being alone and being the only child all my life and not finding love and Trying to fill this hole that I had in my heart with. With drugs and. And. And all that type of stuff. Women that. I'm just. I'm. I'm just really, really in a. In a dark place. And. And. And I'm already on pills. It's my day off, you know, I'm on pills that day, and they're like, bring your outfit up here. Are we gonna take it out of your check? And I'm like, oh, heck nah. You ain't about to take this out of my check. Like, bet. All right. I see you, and I remember some dude just giving me a big old Crocodile Dundee knife. And back then, you'd wear, like, these tall tees that would go down to your knees. Texas boys know more about that. And so I even have a big old belt buckle with a P on there that stood for pimp for me. Like, what does that mean, pimp? And just, like, it just completely out of there, man. So I'm going up to the. To the job site with this big old Crocodile Dundee knife hanging out the back of my tall T. Like, I didn't cover it by accident. Yeah. And so I'm going in there, I'm slamming stuff down. I'm throwed off in my brain off the medication. And I go up there, I throw the clothes at the. At the boss. And. And I was like, man, let's go outside. Like, because of what was happening in my life, even because they had to fire me. He probably didn't even want to fire me, like, because he was a nice guy. Like, we were cool. He had to. But just because I got fired and everything that was going in my life, I wanted to fight. Like, we're gonna fight now.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

Like, I don't care who you are. We're going to fight. And I had all types of murderous thoughts in my mind of what was. What could happen at this moment. I'm going up there, and pure rage. So I walk across the street, throw the clothes at him. I'm like, let's fight. He's like, I bet. Let's go. Like, I was thinking I could punk him out. He was really down to fight, and so thank God we didn't. He might have beat me up now, but we went outside, and the police are already there as soon as we get there. And I knew I was. I'm done.

[Podcast Host]

You know, you got crocodile done.

[ASAP Preach]

I got that crocodile done. D knife. At this moment, I'm just so over life. And this is a really long time ago. This is, like, in 2000 2007. And I'm looking at the police, and I'm just crying. And I'm just saying, kill me. I'm screaming at the police, shoot me. I don't want to live no more. Kill me. And I'm screaming. There's people around, they're crying. I'm crying. I'm just feeling like I'm just done with life. And they take me back into that jail cell. And in that jail cell, we didn't have no tablets or anything like that, but there was. It was a Bible, and it was just me in that Bible. And I know I was going to church. I was going to church for the wrong reasons. I was like, man, let me just open this mug up. And when I opened up the word of God, it just started to speak to me. And I felt a presence go into that room that I've been yearning for all my life. And it was like the words just started to speak to me. It was that someone else was in that room. And at that moment, I felt the Holy Spirit for the first time in my life. And I was. I couldn't explain it because my in my heart was so evil. My heart was so messed up. I was still a little boy, though. So the Lord saw the little boy in me still, and he just loved me in it. And it was at that moment where I was just like, lord, if you get me out of this mug, I'll serve you for the rest of my life. And I was like, I don't want to wait on you to get me out of this place for me to start serving you. I'm just going to read. And so as I read, I was just getting fed. It was speaking to me. I felt the God of the universe having an encounter with me in my jail cell. And he even told me to go baptize myself in the shower. He was like, go back. I don't know why that thought came to my mind, but when I came out of the jail cell, felt so out of that shower came so refreshed. When I got out of jail after reading for the fasting, pretty much for that. That time, because that's what I was doing pretty much was fasting every the world. You know, in reading the Word, bro, I saw the world completely different. I saw homeless people. I saw people that are strung out in addiction, searching for this hope and this peace that I've experienced and have in this jail cell. And I wanted to tell people all about that. You know, I felt an urge in my heart immediately. I stopped doing rap Music that I was doing for the world and realized that, hey, I, I can't operate great on this team no more. And so I was, I went back to that church that, you know, the, My, my, my. The relationship I was having, you know, with at that. Their parents church and you know, I'm going there. But this is all old people nowadays. There's just so many cool kids that love the Lord that if it was now, I think I would be a little bit better off by getting plugged in and staying plugged in and having like, just more of a better community. But it. So many old people, bro. And, and every time I, I would just need to get away and just talk to people that I could relate to. It would just be people that I'd smoke weed with. And so I'll just continue to backslide. Continue. And there will be moments where, bro, I'm telling you, throughout my career, not career as a musician, but as my, at my life of being a Christian, there's been times where I flushed like ounces and ounces of weed at different times down the toilet because I was just like struggling. I was struggling. I didn't know how to hold thoughts captive. I didn't know what any of this meant. And what, what helped me overcome a lot of that at one point. Just something just hit me over years and years of being a backsliding Christian, of trying to walk in the Lord. I loved him. I didn't love him like he loved me though. You know, when I first came to Christ, I. I loved this presence. I love that it was filling me in, filling me up. But it was, it was that love and that forgiveness that I didn't deserve. Over and over and over when I didn't deserve it, that made me just make me want to stop, bro. Made me want to be delivered. Made me want to. You know, it's. It's the goodness of God that leads people to repentance. And when I first came to God, yeah, it led me to a certain. I was repenting of things. Did I become a new creation? Yes, I did. But, but did some things still stay? Like I still was dealing with some things that needed to be. My mind needed to continue to be renewed. But what really helped me was finding my identity in Christ. My identity in Jesus was me knowing who my Father is, what I was made to be on this earth for. And so now and then holding thoughts captive now that I know who I belong to. And over time and time again of, of knowing and God showing me his faithfulness and Showing me how real he, and really being real, not just through me just having some belief, but him having me having encounters with him over and over. Prophetic dreams. Not only that, just him coming in on perfect timing so many times and showing me how real he was. It was just building up this faith inside of me to make me realize that this is all real. This ain't just no fairy tale stuff. God is actually living and he's real and he wants to encounter me in the world. World. And once I was able to realize that, my identity, I was able to start holding thoughts captive. Because every thought that came contrary to the word of God and what God says, who I am, I was able to hold thoughts captive. So when thoughts would come in like you wanna, and what the enemy likes to do, he likes to speak us to us in I statements. And so he would like to say, I want to smoke right now, man. I want to smoke right now. Now, man. I want to, I'm, I want to look at porn right now. I'm struggling. I'm, I, I, I'm stressed out. That's what the enemy wants to put in our minds.

[Podcast Host]

Because he doesn't want to get you to worship him. He wants you to get you to worship you. Yeah, yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

Just focused on me.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And so once I was able to hear everything that, like that, then I was able to be like, nope, that's not, nah, that's not me. I speak peace. I speak life. I speak. I am a mighty man of God. I, I start speaking, I am not stressed out. I, I have joy. I've, you know, I just start walking these things out. And that really helped me. Yeah. But even, even through that process, you know, it's, I still was struggle. You know, we're men, we, we still struggle. He without, who says he's without sin is actually a liar.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And so obviously I am not walking in habitual sin. Praise God. I'm. So, I'm delivered. It's possible, yes, that you can be delivered, you can be set free. But willfully, sin is something that I just, I, I don't struggle with. My, my life is completely surrendered to the Lord. And it was only because of his goodness that helped me get there.

[Podcast Host]

Amen.

[ASAP Preach]

And so, yeah, and so it's been a challenge. It's been a crazy, a crazy journey, you know, because I, you know, I don't deserve life. I don't. And I don't deserve eternal life. But he blesses me with it anyways.

[Podcast Host]

Amen. Amen. So you get out of Prison, you continue to live kind of in a lukewarm life. And really, just because you were looking for community, and the only community you knew were dudes you were smoking weed with.

[ASAP Preach]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

And then how'd you find music?

[ASAP Preach]

So the music came through 8 mile. Yeah. Let's go.

[Podcast Host]

Such a good movie.

[ASAP Preach]

It is a pretty good movie.

[Podcast Host]

And especially as a white rapper.

[ASAP Preach]

A white rapper, just, like, inspiring me. I went home and wrote my first rap.

[Podcast Host]

Yes.

[ASAP Preach]

I was that little kid, 14 years old, and I told all my buddies that, hey, man, I want to rap. And. And they. I didn't even know they rapped rap, but they're like, oh, bro, I'll be rapping too. And I'm like, for real? And then I'd hear them, and they were cold with it. And I was like, dang, I just started last night. I can't even rap on rhythm. Like, there was no skill I had, bro. And. But what was crazy about it is because my parents were putting me on medication. I would only focus on the things that I was interested in.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And so I would write, like, three full pages of raps a day. At school, the teachers didn't even want to try to teach me anything anymore. They knew that I was going to be over there in that corner writing raps all day long. They may not even knew what I was doing, but they probably saw me, like, you know, just kind of like, getting it in. But when I. When I came to Christ, man, I knew for sure I couldn't rap like that no more. You know, it was just something that. Over me, I couldn't. I couldn't do it, you know, and ever since then, I just always stayed to it. And it was. I never really rapped. I. I rap to entertain in the world, but when I. When I. I started doing Christian rap, I rapped. I rapped to impact. It was me just being real. It was more therapeutic, you know, it was like I had completely different motives, you know, once I started to do music. And over time, as. Because I'm. I'm starting to rap in, like, the beginning Lecrae era, where Lecrae just came out. This is a long time ago. And so, like, the music and Christian rap was not very acceptable back then. You know, it was still like, we still singing them old hymns in the church a little bit. And. And so when. When Lecrae and me started to come out, it wasn't like, you know, nobody would let. Let us to really rap at their churches anymore and. Or at that moment. But now, as time comes in it just as time grew in Christian Christianity and Christian rap started getting more acceptable in the world again. It was like there started to become a lot of more like self seeking, like self, like just for self gain. There's so many Christian rappers nowadays that are just so focused on, like content, so focused on money, on the money and in the bag and just sounding cool like the world and everything like that. And. And you know, that just never really, even through me backsliding and everything like that, that never really was part of.

[Podcast Host]

I've.

[ASAP Preach]

God always knew my heart was a wor. I was a worshiper at heart and I really cared about people and loved people and yeah, I think that's what sets me apart a little bit too. And, and how I have favor in so many areas of my life is because God sees that, you know, I'm. I. I truly do this for him.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Now you've mentioned backsliding a few times. Like, what. What was that? What did that look like?

[ASAP Preach]

Well, it was a little bit of like going to like, bars and stuff. I. Through a couple of seasons of my life, I'd go to like, bars and stuff. But I kind of thank go has blessed me with this platform because it holds me accountable now.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

You know, I can't just go into places anymore because so many people recognize me on the street. Like, hey, S. What you doing out here? Yeah, bro, I'm struggling too, bro. And then we can be friends. No, you trying to do all that. But, you know, there have been. There were some crazy moments where, like, even while I was out in my sin, that the Lord still moved in the most craziest places, like where I was completely backsliding, ministering to people at bars and stuff and not even intending it to be like that. And so God works in mysterious ways. I'm not saying go out and drink and do that just so that you know, you could do that, but, you know, there were moments that God still used that.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

You know.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

So. So.

[Podcast Host]

I want to get into a few pointed questions because you've got such an interesting story. The Lord's taken you on such a journey from kind of growing up with Buddy as a dad and having a grandma that loved Jesus deeply, that kind of like planted these seeds and then they kind of like the fruit came later in life. You've made it in and out of jail, in and out of addiction, through all these things. What is the gospel to you?

[ASAP Preach]

You. So I feel like the gospel is like a rescue story. Like in religion, like, we have to go up to God. But my gospel is that God came to us in the form of Jesus, and he traded his crown of glory for a crown of thorns to save us when we couldn't save ourselves. And that's the gospel to me. You know, we don't. We don't deserve mercy, grace. But he still chose to send his son to a world that despised him, spit on him, beat him for us, even though we didn't deserve it, so that we could have an eternal life with him. That's the gospel to me.

[Podcast Host]

Amen. And you're around a lot of people that are dealing with trauma, anger, sin. You mentioned even, like, sexual predators. When you go into these jails, how do you communicate the gospel to those people?

[ASAP Preach]

Through love, you know, because that's what this whole thing is about. Jesus's love story for us. You know, when. When they see, when they feel loved, that they can be redeemed, because a lot of them feel like they've gone too far. But the gifts and the callings are without repentance. Like, that means that no matter what, what they've done in their life, the calling is still active. They can still tap in to God's calling. Like, if they have breath in their lungs, it's. They haven't gone too far. They can. They can be redeemed. They can. They can go back and still do God's calling there where they are, right there, you know, they don't have to wait till they get out to. To. To. To do their calling, you know, and so they can receive their calling right there at that very moment, you know, And. And so I. I love that, you know, and so they. It gives them hope, you know, these people that have lost hope. Hope. And. And they're in the prison. Just me going in there and sharing that hope just goes so far. It could go 20 years for some of these people.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

You know, just someone saying, hey, you're not forgotten about that. We care about you.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, man. There's nothing like someone who's at the end of their rope and you just throw them a buoy of the gospel.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

You know what I mean? And they're like, I can let go now. You know, I'm all right. Right. I'll never forget the first time I truly got it, like, at a gut level. And it was. I can look back at the times I've understood the gospel at a gut level and been like, it's when I was at the end of my rope. It's when I had no hope. It's when everything was. All was lost, right?

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

And then someone communicated it to me in a way that, like, touched that wound in me and healed that wound in me. And it was like, whoa. I could do, like, I could go without money. I could go without anything because I've got everything I ever need. It's like finding that treasure hidden in the field.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah. I love that.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, so now you're walking with the Lord. You've got four kids now.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

A wife, right?

[ASAP Preach]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

And beautiful family.

[ASAP Preach]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host]

And it sounds like you've had a lot of victory over this sin. You're now going to prisons. You're seeing people saved like crazy. You're making Christian music. What are moments in your life right now where you feel closest to the Lord?

[ASAP Preach]

So you would think that somebody would feel closest to God by getting into their. Into the word of God and going to church, which is true in a sense, you know, being. You don't want to forsake the kingdom of the Assemblies of God, and you want to stay in your Word because God speaks to us through it all the time. You could open up your word and just go anywhere in the Bible and God will give you something out of it. And you could read that same scripture a week from then and probably get a whole different interpretation and word from it, which is amazing. God speaks through His Word. But for me, I've been noticing lately in my life that I've been experiencing God on a whole nother level through my brokenness. I've. I deal with depression at times. I deal with. I have a heart situation going on where I have, like, PVCs. The doctors don't even know what's going on. Yesterday I went to the emergency room just because I had the most PVCs I've ever had in my whole life. And I wanted to get everything checked out. And they never do anything. It's moments like that where, like, God. It's like God says he's keeping that thorn in my flesh. And it's, it's, it's, it's. It's those moments where I'm in desperate need of him is where I'm closest to God and he draws closest to me. It's in the moments of a hardship that I go through in my life. Life with my mom and passing away, my dad passing away, my grandfather passing away. In, in. In moments where I feel like I, I, I'm. I'm, I'm. I'm going through a lot is when I feel closest to God, I draw. He draws he says he's close to the brokenhearted.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And there's been moments, like, where I am just, just in my shower crying out to God. God, because I need him so much and I'm. I'm so broken where I just want to give up and, like, what's going on in my heart, what's going on in my, in my life. And, And I don't know what's going on. Lord, I need you. I need you. I need you. And, and it's his presence that keeps me there. And I say, Lord, if it's. If you have to keep this in. If you have to keep this in so that I stay close to you, then so be it. And it, and it, and it hurts. It hurts to keep that thorn in. But, you know, the Lord was saying, what if you pull that thorn out, you could bleed out. I don't want to get comfortable. If I didn't have this thorn in my heart, if I didn't have these trials and tribulations that I go through, then where would I be right now? I'd be comfortable somewhere in my sin, probably. But what's amazing is that everybody wants to pray the pain away, but God has been showing me that the pain is necessary for me to stay closer to Him. You know, he. He wants me to continue to need him, you know, and keep me broken before Him. Him. And those are the moments where I find myself being closest to God. And I've been in that. I've been in that. People see me on social media doing all these fun things. I like to smile for the camera, but when the cameras are off, I'm dealing with some things. I'm dealing with, with moments of, of uncertainty about tomorrow, of not knowing if I'm going to be able to be there for my children or live another day.

[Podcast Host]

Day.

[ASAP Preach]

And, and it's, it's in the Lord. Yeah, it. I, I, I rebuke the fear. But the Lord is allowing that fear to keep me close to him. Yeah, he's using that enemy like a puppet by allowing these things to happen in my life. So I stay closer to him. And it, and it hurts. And it's, it's, it's like, Lord, I don't know what's going on. I know that my grandparents dealt with health, Health issues. Choose all their life, too. Am I going to be someone that suffers for you? And it may be, but I'm just glad that it keeps me close to him. Because if it keeps me close to him, I don't care what happens in this life. I just, I just want to keep my salvation, you know, and I know, I believe that, you know, he died for me and I believe that, that I can receive that. And he that believes, you know, whoever calls upon the name of the Lor. Romans 10:13, shall be saved. But you still have to endure to the end. And the enduring hurts, the pain hurts. But it's necessary, it's necessary for me to stay close to him. And I think that's a part of my life not a lot of people can relate to because they don't deal with health things, things. But I think a lot of it had to do with, you know, the, the medication I took as a child that could be, you know, messing with my brain even to this day, you know, in, in my body, all the substances that I put into my body, that's taking a toll on it. All the times that I didn't exercise and take be a good steward of the body that God given me, you know, my body, you know, and I, and, and so a lot of times I'll find myself doing, just going to the gym and working out and running. I find those things therapeutic. I'm trying to bounce back. But you know, when, when the cameras are off, I go back home. I'm, I'm a father to four kids. It's difficult, you know, my wife's a stay at home mom. I'm trying to provide. I'm trying to please people, you know, and it's not wrong to please people. I please God more than I please people, but God pleases people, people and so it's good to please people in a way, you know, and, and to be there, be a good brother, be a good accountability partner, someone that, that's a good steward and has integrity with the word of God and, and, and, and in the platform that I have. Integrity never meant nothing to me. Even being a Christian and having a, a small form of my platform, it's been going grown crazy this last two years because of my surrender gender. But even up till then, you know, to integrity didn't mean nothing. Being a good husband, a faithful husband didn't mean nothing to me. Yeah, it means something to me now. I don't want, I don't want to let all this be ruined in my legacy, be destroyed because of my disobedience. So in obedience to God means so much to me now. And, and I just thank God. I thank God for that because he corrects those who he loves. And I say, lord, just correct me if you need me to. If if there's anything in me, don't let me die and go to it. Be face to face with you knowing that there's things that needed to be fixed. And I was holding on and I had. I was completely deceived, completely blinded by things that needed to be important to me. And so I thank God through what he's doing in my life right now, because it's just in a place of me being broken but also being completely surrendering.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, I think a lot of men need to hear that. I don't think it gets talked about enough. How much pressure a lot of dads and men feel. The pressure to perform, the pressure to provide, the pressure to keep it together. The pressure. Am I yelling my kids too much? Am I a good husband? Am I, you know, just given the leftovers when I get home, but I'm exhausted during the day. I'm trying to hustle to figure this thing out to provide for my family. And the one thing that I'm hearing you say is that through all the pain of the what ifs of your health, of all the pain of, how am I going to provide for my family? The only thing you know how to do is to stay close to him and to keep the thorn in your flesh and to say, lord, I'm actually going to. I'm actually going to praise you for this thorn.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I'm not going to pull the thorn out because you've said that my power is made perfect in weakness, so I'm going to glory in my weakness.

[ASAP Preach]

Yes.

[Podcast Host]

And that's the only directive that he gives us as we await his return. He says, keep oil in your lamps. It's the only thing he says to do. And what's oil? It's intimacy. It's staying near to his heart. And so what I'm hearing you say is you're grateful. Grateful for the brokenness, you're grateful for the pain. You're grateful for the what ifs of your health. You're grateful for your heart condition. You're grateful for everything in your life that the rest of the world is going to look at and say, you're unlucky for this. You're saying, I'm actually going to glory and thank you, Lord, for this very thing because it's keeping me closer to your heart.

[ASAP Preach]

And he says that all things work together for the good of those who love him. And so. So all things, not just some things. Even my heart condition, if that's going to work out for my good, then, Lord, praise God. You know, I I. There was so many times where it started to. It started to take a toll on me and I started to wonder why I felt this way. But when people would say, Jesus is coming back, Jesus is coming back, that would scare me. That would scare me. I wasn't excited to have Jesus come back and that I was like, why do I feel that way? Is because I was living in sin. I was living with some things in the back of my heart. I'm trying to do the best I can as a Christian, as a dad, but it takes a toll. And what, what, what's. And because he is coming back.

[Podcast Host]

And I, I think you're dead on. Because for. I felt the same thing. Thing. I used to be scared for Jesus's return because I didn't have oil in my lamp because I wasn't living the right way.

[ASAP Preach]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

Because there were still sin issues in my life that I hadn't dealt with.

[ASAP Preach]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

And now I'm like, let's go, let's go, let's go. And I can tell you if, if you're listening to this and you're feeling convicted, that I'm a little nervous for Jesus's return. Maybe it's because you don't have oil in your lamp or maybe it's that you don't know that he's coming back with a sword coming out of his mouth and. But you're part of the crew, that you're with him, that you're rolling with him, that he's not coming back.

[ASAP Preach]

You want to make sure that you're on his side.

[Podcast Host]

Yes. Yes, man. Thanks for sharing that.

[ASAP Preach]

Amen. And nobody really, no Christians really want to admit that they want to all for the show and social media. They all want to act like they got their lives together. That's their brand. Let me make sure my brand look good.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And you know what? It's. I don't want to trade. I don't want to trade my, My purpose for a platform. I don't care. I really don't. I. I want to make sure that I'm right with the Lord before I need to be out there ministering, doing all this type of stuff. That's. That type of stuff is, Is important to me now. I've always had to been some be someone that learns from my own mistakes and not the mistakes of others. But if you're hearing video right now, heed to correction. He. To the. The. The what the Lord is saying through here and, and get right with God. There's no other better feeling than get Right. With God. Anyways, when you know that you completely surrender to everything and that you don't have a room back there in your heart that you're blocking off, that you're saying, God, you can't come in here, help me clean. And you say, you know what, Lord, Clean that room up too. Come in there and you just say, I surrender. That is the best feeling in the whole world. And knowing you know what, I don't know what tomorrow holds, but today, and at this moment, I'm going to surrender. And I'mma surrender my thoughts, I'm going surrender my cares and my worries to you at this very moment, to help me get through this and walk out of obedience. You know, I had a brother speak to me one time and. And I was smoking weed, he's like, bro, you still been smoking? Smoking? Big brother in Christ. Big, big name in Christian hip hop, everybody. You probably even know who he is. And he said, you still smoking? I was like, I am, bro. And he said, bro, your family is missing out on their blessings because of your disobedience.

[Podcast Host]

Ooh.

[ASAP Preach]

And I thought about that and I was like, wow. Because I'm holding this sin inside of me that I. And now I'm not feeling confident in the Lord. I'm not being an effective witness of JEs. Because I'm not walking in that boldness and that confidence in Christ because I'm not walking in true victory. But when I can walk in true victory, I can walk in true purpose. And that fire could really, really burn. And the anointing is real. It's like the anointing that breaks yokes, that cast out demons. Demons ain't gonna be casted out. You just over here, you know, like, given 80. Yeah, given 80. And. And they may, they still may. They. They flee at the name of Jesus. Because even in. In. In the one there, there's going to be some people that watch this, and they're not really going to turn away from God. And they're going to hear when they go face to face with Christ and they're going to be pleading with their life and they're going to say, didn't I do all these things? Didn't I cast out demons?

[Podcast Host]

Oh, that's right. Right. That's right.

[ASAP Preach]

Depart from me, you worker of iniquity. I never even knew you. And imagine that moment of you saying, just give me another chance, God. And he just look at you. And as you fade back into utter darkness.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And that's just the most horrible feeling of life.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah. That word, that word new, I never knew you. It means intercourse.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Host]

It's the same word that was used when the baby or when Mary is encountering the angel and she's like, how can I be pregnant? I've never known a man. It's the same word. So when Jesus is saying, I never knew you, he's saying, we never communed, we never abided, we never were intimate together. I was never in you, you were never in me. We never became one. And I could tell that, that because of the works. So you're not missing out on your salvation because you didn't do all the things that it goes on to mention. I was in prison, you didn't visit me. I was in, you know, I was sick and you didn't, you know, do all these things. I like what it's saying. What Jesus is saying there is. He's saying, I never abided with you. You never allowed me to have your full heart. And when you do that, when you fully surrender to Jesus, what you do is you keep that oil in your lamp. And that's what Jesus is saying is he's like the only directive for a second coming. Keep oil in your lamp. And what is that? Knowing him, intimacy with him, that word, intercourse, that intimacy. If you're with him, if you just want to know him more, if you're just like daily abiding, communing in prayer, again, it's not the things, it's the mindset, it's the heart posture. Jesus always cares about your heart posture. And if your heart is eagerly turned towards his, because the Bible says he's looking to and fro, looking for men whose hearts are eagerly turned towards his. And at the same time, time it says that Satan's looking to and fro.

[ASAP Preach]

Yep.

[Podcast Host]

And he's looking to devour. Y And so I think when you have compromise in your life, when you don't have oil in your lamp, when you've given him maybe just, you know, 80%, you're showing up to church and you've got these back room issues that gives the enemy a foothold. Those are all open doors.

[ASAP Preach]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

And he's seeking people like that to devour.

[ASAP Preach]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host]

But Jesus is also looking to and frank fro for men like David, for even when they screw up, because you will screw up. It's not saying that if you screw up, you're now hosed when you screw up. David was like, lord, just don't take your presence from me. Saul, on the other hand, screwed up. He's like, don't take the throne from me. Their hearts were different. David wanted the presence of God. Saul wanted what God had given him. And I think that's the difference is like, are you. You. Are you seeing Jesus as the prize? Are you seeing the things Jesus could get you as the prize?

[ASAP Preach]

Right. And, you know, I look at it like in the scripture, he says, if you love me, you'll obey me. And. And, you know, I didn't know if I loved God when I first came to him. I had a little bit of love, but it was that forgiveness over and over. He said that he that's forgiven much loveth much.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[ASAP Preach]

And. And over that time, I began to grow a real love for the Lord. And obedience is. Is so important. It's better than sacrifice. It's so important in this. In this time and age. I look at it as if, you know, God makes it easy for us to be obedient to him if we really love him and see the goodness of what he's done in our life. And so. So it shouldn't be a burden to be obedient. No, it shouldn't. You shouldn't be obedient just because you're based. You're doing things based off works. Yeah, we should do works for the Lord. But it shouldn't be works based on you being forced to. It should be because of you loving God.

[Podcast Host]

You love him and you trust him.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So yesterday I come downstairs and the kids knew they were supposed to turn off the TV after one work show. And I go to my wife and I'm like, hey, why are the kids still watching tv? And she's like, I don't know. I told them, this is the last one. So I walk in here and I look at my son Jack and sitting right on the couch, and I'm like, buddy, did you know that you were supposed to turn off the tv? And he starts getting tears in his eyes. And I'm like, I need you to tell me the truth. And he goes, I knew, and I didn't do it. And I'm like, you're not in trouble because you told me the truth. Because you trusted me enough to be honest with you me. Now I need you to trust me more that when I say, turn off the tv, that it's for your good, right? And he said, yes, Daddy. So I think the Lord looks at us the same way. He's like, don't you know that I have better for you than you have for you?

[ASAP Preach]

Right?

[Podcast Host]

And so when I tell you, don't smoke Weed. Don't have sex outside of marriage. Be kind to people. Don't let anger boil in your heart. Confess your sins. All the things he says to us, he's saying it to us because he wants to give us the abundant life, life that is truly life. Jesus says, I've come to give life and life to the full. That word is Zoe life, which means the fullness of the life God could give us. So religion tells you that all of these different rules God has in place are shackles on your feet. Relationship with Jesus tells us that when I obey those commands, that's God's love language. His love language is obedience. But the dividend he gives me in return is life and life to the fullest. So if I want the abundant life that starts with realizing his kindness leads me to repentance. So I change the way I live based off seeing him not as an angry dictator, but as a loving father. And then out of that, at my love towards him is obedience. And really what the obedience is telling him is that I trust him and that's what moves his heart. In the same way with my kid, when he trusted me enough to tell me the truth. Truth and not lie to me, I'm like, that's all I needed, bud. Like, I just needed you to know, or I needed to know from you that you trusted me. Well, man, it's been an honor. This has been so fun sitting down with you. We got to hang out. We got to get the families together.

[ASAP Preach]

Definitely.

[Podcast Host]

How can people be praying for you right now?

[ASAP Preach]

Just pray that I stay. You know, being the father, being the friend, being the husband that God has called me to be. That's my first ministry. If I can stay doing that at home, then I'm. I'm good and fit to preach the word outside in the world.

[Podcast Host]

Amen.

[ASAP Preach]

And so just pray for ASAP preaches home and his family, and I'm good to go.

[Podcast Host]

All right, and where can people find you?

[ASAP Preach]

Find me on social media asap. Preach on Facebook. Social media. Tick tock. You could look me up on my website asap. Preachmusic.com yeah.

[Podcast Host]

All right. Awesome, man. Can you pray for us? Can you pray? And can you maybe pray for someone who's been listening to this?

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Who kind of feels like they're sliding into some lukewarmness.

[ASAP Preach]

Yeah. Father God, I just thank you so much for every single person that's watching this right now, Lord. And I just thank you so much for allowing me to just have this moment, to just confess these moments, to share my True heart, my true, my, my true testimony. And I just pray, Lord, that it just penetrates the hearts that are listening, Father God, those hearts that feel like they feeling so far away from you because they've closed those rooms off from you, Lord. Lord, every time I look back to every single time I've sinned, Lord, the I've never felt you be a dictator to me. I've always felt your love. The only thing that I would feel, Father God, is your, is me grieving your spir it. And so Father God, I pray, Lord, if it takes whatever it takes to win souls over to you, Lord, whether it be a thorn in their side, whether them being broken, so be it. Father God. Lord, we thank you for the pain. I know it's hard to say, but we thank you for the pain. We thank you for the troubleness and the trials and tribulations that we go through. You say in James 1, verse 2 to count it joy in our trials and tribulations, Lord. So, Lord, I thank you for all the trials, all the crazy things that I've been through because you're making me the man that you've called me to be. And maybe it hasn't been as fast as other people. And I, I, I, I've gone a, a a slower path through my disobedience in my hardened heart, Lord. But I thank you for helping me surrender everything to you, Father. And I pray for everyone that's listening, Lord, that they would completely surrender so that they can find this peace, peace that surpasses all understanding come upon them, Lord, knowing that they are right in your eyes, Lord. So I command every single demonic spirit that has been whispering in their ears saying they are not worthy of forgiveness. And they may be just watching this because they're a fan of my music, Father God. But I pray that you touch them right now. In the mighty name of Jesus. I thank you for your love. I thank you for your grace and your mercy. And I thank you for being a good father, Father. A good father that doesn't just leave us when we need, when, when we make one mistake, Lord. But you continue to pursue. You continue to uplift and edify even when we don't deserve it. Father, you're a good, good father, a good friend. And I love you. I love you, Lord. And I pray that that same mercy, that same sweet presence would rest upon them right now, right now, in Jesus mighty name. Amen.

[Podcast Host]

Amen. Thanks for being with us, man.

[ASAP Preach]

Thank you, brother.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.