Convincing Hubby We're Okay

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Convincing Hubby We're Okay"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Jill on Money with Jill Schlesinger
• Host/Author: Audacy
• Description: Host Jill Schlesinger, CFP®, addresses sometimes uncomfortable and controversial money and investing topics without the financial jargon. Each week, Jill takes listener calls and interviews informative guests to uncover surprising insights and provide actionable information for financial empowerment.
• Episode: Convincing Hubby We're Okay
• Release Date: June 25, 2025

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Episode Overview

In the episode titled "Convincing Hubby We're Okay," host Jill Schlesinger navigates a listener's concern about retirement readiness and financial security. The discussion centers around DeeDee, a 57-year-old woman, who seeks reassurance that her and her 67-year-old husband's financial portfolio is sufficient for a comfortable retirement. The episode delves into detailed financial analysis, addressing fears, and providing actionable advice to ensure both partners feel confident about their financial future.

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Detailed Discussion

Introduction to the Concern (02:04 - 03:10)

Mark introduces the episode by emphasizing the importance of tackling significant life decisions that impact one's financial life. He highlights that such decisions shouldn't be made in isolation and encourages listeners to engage with the show for personalized advice.

• Mark: "Sometimes when you send us an email, we'll say, hey, you know, get back in touch with us. We need more information." (02:04)

DeeDee, the caller, is brought into the conversation to provide her perspective and the specifics of her financial situation.

DeeDee’s Financial Breakdown (03:10 - 04:20)

DeeDee outlines her and her husband's financial assets:

• Savings: $437,000 in cash (pre-tax) and a 401(k) totaling $1,746,000. (03:23)
• IRA: $711,000 (traditional, requiring taxation upon withdrawal). (03:38)
• Brokerage Account: $103,000 in cash and $335,000 in stocks and bonds. (03:38 - 03:55)
• Real Estate: A home owned outright valued at approximately $750,000. (04:02 - 04:20)

Income and Social Security Plans (04:27 - 05:54)

DeeDee shares their monthly expenses of $6,300 and details their Social Security plans:

• Husband’s Social Security: Plans to claim at age 70, expecting $5,060/month. (04:34 - 04:37)
• DeeDee’s Social Security: Plans to claim at age 70, expecting $2,960/month. (04:43 - 04:54)

Mark responds positively to the numbers, suggesting that their financial situation appears strong, aiming to reassure DeeDee.

• Mark: "I love that. Let's call it $1,075,000,000." (03:34) – (Note: This appears to be a humorous exaggeration for effect.)

Addressing the Husband's Concerns (05:03 - 07:15)

Despite the strong financial figures, DeeDee’s husband, George, remains unconvinced about their retirement readiness. He doubts that their savings are sufficient to ensure they won't outlive their money.

• DeeDee: "He's thinking, you know, you mentioned before you and Mark laughed and thought that our money would outlive us. Now he's thinking, well, how much should we really spend so it doesn't outlive us?" (11:02)

Mark’s Financial Analysis and Reassurance (05:17 - 13:49)

Mark undertakes a comprehensive analysis to demonstrate the adequacy of their finances:

1. Tax Consideration: Assuming a 30% tax on their $2.45 million in pre-tax accounts, leaving them with approximately $1.715 million post-tax. (05:26 - 06:02)

2. Investment Strategy: Proposes a conservative withdrawal rate of 3.5% from the $1.715 million, generating an additional $60,000/year ($5,000/month) to add to Social Security income. This total exceeds their current monthly expenses of $6,300. (07:54 - 09:20)

3. Contingency Planning: In the event of George's untimely passing, DeeDee would still receive survivor benefits and continue with sufficient income, ensuring financial stability. (08:00 - 09:21)

4. Adjusting Spending Habits: Encourages DeeDee to assess their true spending needs and consider adjusting their lifestyle if necessary, suggesting that even an increase to $8,300/month is feasible without jeopardizing their financial security. (11:07 - 12:14)

• Mark: "If you want to spend $8,300 a month, it'll still work. You should invest some of the cash. It'll work better if you invest some of the cash." (12:11)

Psychological and Emotional Factors (10:36 - 13:49)

Mark addresses the emotional aspect of financial planning, recognizing that financial comfort goes beyond numbers. He discusses the importance of mutual agreement between partners and the challenges of differing financial comfort levels.

• Mark: "If you have a partner, especially when there's an age differential, we have to take that into account." (12:14)

He emphasizes the need for open communication and joint decision-making to ensure both partners are aligned and feel secure about their financial future.

Conclusion and Takeaways (13:49 - End)

Mark and Jill wrap up the discussion by reiterating the importance of financial planning and mutual understanding between partners. They encourage listeners facing similar dilemmas to reach out for personalized advice and to utilize available resources, such as the free weekly newsletter.

• Mark: "If you have a partner who is not on board with a plan that you want to execute, let's get going. We want to talk to you." (13:49)

• Jill: "Please do something nice for someone else today. Change your money, Change your wealth. Change your life." (End)

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Key Insights and Lessons

1. Comprehensive Financial Analysis: A detailed understanding of assets, liabilities, and income streams is crucial in assessing retirement readiness.

2. Tax Implications: Considering tax impacts on retirement accounts can significantly affect net income projections.

3. Conservative Withdrawal Rates: Utilizing lower withdrawal rates can enhance financial security and extend the longevity of retirement savings.

4. Contingency Planning: Preparing for unexpected events, such as the sudden loss of a spouse, ensures financial stability remains intact.

5. Emotional Alignment: Financial planning must account for emotional and psychological comfort levels to achieve mutual agreement and peace of mind.

6. Open Communication: Transparent discussions between partners about financial goals and concerns are essential for a harmonious retirement strategy.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Mark on Financial Security: "If you want to spend $8,300 a month, it'll still work. You should invest some of the cash." (12:11)

• DeeDee on Feeling Held Back: "Definitely we are." (12:06)

• Mark on Mutual Understanding: "If you have a partner who is not on board with a plan that you want to execute, let's get going." (13:49)

• Jill’s Closing Thought: "Please do something nice for someone else today. Change your money, Change your wealth. Change your life." (End)

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Final Thoughts

"Convincing Hubby We're Okay" provides a comprehensive look into the complexities of joint financial planning for retirement. Through DeeDee's real-life scenario, Jill and Mark illustrate the importance of detailed financial analysis, proactive planning, and emotional alignment between partners. The episode serves as a valuable resource for listeners facing similar challenges, offering both reassurance and practical strategies to achieve financial peace of mind.

For personalized advice or to share your own financial concerns, visit Jillonmoney.com and engage with the community. Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform to stay informed on crucial financial topics.

Transcript

[Jill Schlesinger]

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[Mark]

I know how hard it is and.

[Jill Schlesinger]

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[Mark]

Welcome to the Jill on Money Show. It's Wednesday, June 25th and we are here holding your hand through some of your big life decisions that impact your financial life. And you know what's kind of cool? Sometimes if you're making a big life decision that will likely impact your financial life, you don't have to do it alone. We can help you out. Mark and I would love to hear from you. Just go to the website jillonmoney.com click the contact us button, write us a note and if you'd like to join us live, check the box. Sometimes when we come on the when you send us an email, we'll say, hey, you know, get back in touch with us. We need more information. Other times when we're on the air with people, they're kind of talking on behalf of the couple and then they say, oh yeah, but my, my husband.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Slash wife or whoever.

[Mark]

My partner does not believe this. And this is what happened when we spoke to DeeDee recently. So we said to DeeDee, like, well, find out from your husband what the problem is. And so I want to bring Dee Dee back on the air with us because we're going to do a little follow up. So. So just what I'd like you to do is just to remind folks some of the facts of your situation.

[DeeDee]

Okay. Would you like the numbers?

[Mark]

Well, first of all, how old are you and your husband?

[DeeDee]

Okay, I am 57 and he's 67.

[Mark]

Remind us the amount of money that you saved and what's going on.

[DeeDee]

Okay, so here's the breakdown in cash, 437,000, pre tax. 401. $1,746,000.

[Mark]

I love that. Let's call it $1,075,000,000.

[DeeDee]

Okay.

[Mark]

Okay.

[DeeDee]

Pre tax, then. Next is another IRA with $711,000.

[Mark]

Right.

[DeeDee]

Okay. Then in a brokerage account, we have it split out into another $103,000 in cash and then another $335,000 in stocks and bonds.

[Mark]

Just quick question. That cash position is not part of the $437,000 cash that you just mentioned above, right?

[DeeDee]

No, that banks and CDs.

[Mark]

Okay, got it. So we got the brokerage account, two chunks there. What else?

[DeeDee]

That's everything.

[Mark]

Okay. And the house you own outright, is that right?

[DeeDee]

Correct.

[Mark]

How much is that worth?

[DeeDee]

About 750.

[Mark]

No other real estate?

[DeeDee]

No.

[Mark]

Right. I think the big question that we were talking about is you told us how much money you spend right now. What is that amount?

[DeeDee]

Around 6,300amonth.

[Mark]

And does your husband receive Social Security yet?

[DeeDee]

No, not yet.

[Mark]

And what's his plan for Social Security?

[DeeDee]

Well, at this point, we'll probably better off just wait until 70. And he would get 5060amonth.

[Mark]

Oh, my God. And yours would be, you have your own record or would you claim on half of his?

[DeeDee]

No, I would have my own record at 70. For me would be 2960.

[Mark]

So this is why I said to you, slam dunk, no problem. Right? That's what I said. I was like, what's wrong? And you said, what? Tell us about George. What's his consternation?

[DeeDee]

Well, even looking at the numbers and listening to you, he still just finds it hard to believe that we have enough to retire comfortably and not worry in the future and that we're not going to run out of money.

[Mark]

I mean, so let's do some math just for fun. Let's do some Math, the Iraq, that IRA is not Roth. It's a traditional, right?

[DeeDee]

Correct.

[Mark]

Okay, so let's just do something fun for now. Let's try to take the worst case scenario to see if we can convince him. So let's just say of that, let's call it $2.45 million. It hasn't been taxed yet. You live in a high tax state, Pennsylvania. You're going to stay there. We're going to pretend that. Okay? So everyone listening. Remember there's the pre tax 401k. There's an IRA we have to pay tax on. The total of that is just under $2.5 million. If we just said over the next however many years, we know that you're going to have to pay taxes on that money. I'm not even like doing any shenanigans about getting the money out and how you do it, but let's just say that big total, he probably knows this philosophically and maybe making him think twice, like how could we possibly do that? So we take $2.45 million, we reduce it by 30%, which is $735,000. Okay. Leaving you a net, so after tax of 1.715, $1,715,000. Okay, got that, we're good. Now we know that you have a whole bunch of money in cash. Does he like having that cash cushion? Tell me for real, like what is his feeling about it?

[DeeDee]

Yeah, he likes having that cash. I think the main concern is because I'm younger and I have a ways to go. I think that's like another one of his concerns. Why he feels like we just don't have enough.

[Mark]

Did you tell him not to worry because they're gonna find another husband who's much wealthier? You didn't, you didn't, you didn't bring that up?

[DeeDee]

Okay, I'll take notes on that comment.

[Mark]

Exactly, exactly. Did you hear that, George? Don't worry about her. Okay, so let's just look at this right now. He's healthy, right?

[DeeDee]

Yes.

[Mark]

Okay, I know life is crazy, but let's just say he is healthy today. He is 67. We cannot assume he dies tomorrow. But if we did, you would still have the exact same need for money. It's just that you would receive a different amount of total income from Social Security. That's the difference, Right? So let's even pretend I'm going to do two things. Let's, let's pretend normal, like, okay, George, you're going to live. It's fine. So let's say we had $1.75 million and he is conservative. Would you say in terms of investments, like, would he be like a balanced investor? Is that how you think of him?

[DeeDee]

Yeah, definitely balanced.

[Mark]

Okay, so let's pretend that as a balanced investor, we're going to withdraw a smaller amount of money than is like a normal withdrawal rate. In other words, we're going to of that 1.75, we're going to say if we withdrew 3.5% a year, which is lower than what most people would argue. But let's just say that gives you guys 60 grand a year from that one pot of money. Remember, it's already been taxed. So 60 grand in addition to his $5,000 a month. So if he just got that $5,000 a month in Social Security, not even yours yet, but his only 5,000, and another $5,000 a month would come from the pre tax retirement assets. Ten grand a month, and that's a lot more than your 6,300amonth. And now we haven't even touched the brokerage account, okay? We haven't touched the cash. That's all that we've done. Now let's do something different. Let's say God forbid, and I mean this, God forbid, you walk out tomorrow, George gets hit by a bus, you still have the same amount of assets, right? It's just that we lose this $5,000 a month. So what would happen for you is if you had that situation, which is I think, a smart thing for him to ask. You guys don't have any life insurance or anything, do you?

[DeeDee]

No, nothing.

[Mark]

Okay, so now what? I would turn back to you and I'd say, didi, you've got a good long life expectancy. You're in good health, right?

[DeeDee]

Correct.

[Mark]

We want your money to last you for your whole life. So at age 57, you get a survivor benefit of two grand a month until you claim your own, Right? So you'll have that for 10 for the 10 years, right? Because you're 10 years younger. Okay? So you'll have that $2,000 a month. And then what we would do is we would have the same extra $5,000 a month from that 1.715 million. So you'd have $7,000 a month of income for you alone, okay? That presumes you stay in the doesn't. It does not change a thing about your life. You're living your life. Okay, we're not touching the brokerage account. We're not talking. We're not touching the cash. You're fine. You're going to be okay. Then eventually your benefit will go up to $3,000 a month when you go on your own record. Right. And so you'll even get more money. So I don't think there's an issue either way. What, what I am interested in is just remind us it's you who would retire fully, right?

[DeeDee]

No, no, he's going to retire now, too.

[Mark]

Okay, so now we have both of you retiring. I think I've proven to myself mathematically that you're fine. Is there any way that you think that, like, something I'm forgetting is he just freaked out about retirement. Should we try to see if he can do some part time just to make him feel better? What do you think?

[DeeDee]

Well, I think now he's went. He went the opposite direction and now he's thinking, you know, you mentioned before you and Mark laughed and thought that our money would outlive us.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Yeah.

[DeeDee]

Now he's thinking, well, how much should we really spend so it doesn't outlive us?

[Mark]

Well, do you have kids or not?

[DeeDee]

No, no kids.

[Mark]

Well, you can't do both. You. If you tell me exactly when you're going to die, I can tell you the amount. I'm just kidding. That's so mean. That was a little joke there. It's a little planning humor. So here's what I think you should know. I don't think that you're in the position where you're like, let's go crazy. You spend $6,300 a month right now. Right?

[DeeDee]

Right.

[Mark]

So if he wants to know, like, hey, how much could I spend to, like, be happy? Would it make you happy to know that, like, at $7,500 a month in spending, you'd be fine? There's no problem with it. You could do $7,500 a month. And if he were to pass away suddenly, maybe you'd go back to 6,300. We'd see. But you can't spend as much money as. As like, oh, let's pretend he dies tomorrow because you are 10 years younger. But why, why should we deal with the idea of why don't you spend what makes you comfortable, whatever that amount is. Do you feel like you are holding back at 6,6300 dollars a month?

[DeeDee]

Definitely we are.

[Mark]

What do you think you really would like to spend? 7,500.

[DeeDee]

Probably like, I would say like 100 grand a year.

[Mark]

That's, you know, 8,300. You probably can do 8,300amonth. I mean, if you want to. Like, what I would do is this. I would say if. If you really want to spend $8,300 a month, it'll still work. You should invest some of the cash. It'll work better if you invest some of the cash. I'll tell you that right now. So in the brokerage account, that should not be a cash and stock bond. It should just all be invested in a. Like, in a balanced portfolio. And you should have some of your cash out of cash invested, because at least you'll earn some more money. I would at least take. I don't know if it's 8,000. I probably would only keep 250 in cash and invest the rest. If you want a better outcome, that's what I would do. And if you don't want a better outcome and you just want to keep it in cash, then why don't you experiment first by saying, we're really tight at $6,300 a month. What if we did? Let's look at $7,500 a month, and maybe that'll do the job. Why don't you see if that works in terms of your expenses? You can always pull back. You know, you can. If you had to. I wouldn't want to, but I would really encourage you guys to sit down and find out what it is that you want to spend for real. And I think that, you know, if you said it's 83 or $8,500 a month, I could live with that. And I think you could live with that. But if he were to predecease you in the next, like. And he will probably predecease you, but if he dies suddenly, like, before he say, turns, I don't know, 75, then you're gonna have to change your lifestyle a little bit. It's probably not gonna be 83 or 8, $500 a month. Does that make sense to you?

[DeeDee]

Yes, it does, and that was great information.

[Mark]

All right, then what? I don't know. Let's keep us. Keep us posted on what you do. Okay, Dede?

[DeeDee]

Okay.

[Mark]

Because it's fascinating. It's really a fascinating idea here. I think that this is a strange example, but it's a good one because it's like, let's keep changing the goalposts. And I know we all do this, right? So this is like Mark. Let's say that Mark and I are. We're doing this show, and I say, well, listen, when we make $2 every episode, then, you know, we will have defined success. And then A month later I say, you know, I meant $3. And then I keep saying $5 and then $8. We do the same thing thing over and over again with our financial lives. We change our own goal posts. So when you're talking about a goal in particular, you start and you say, I want to fund my kids public education. And you have a plan to do that. And then you're like, nah, I want to do a private. And then obviously the plan has to change. But if you're going to change the plan, how does it impact other things? So Dee and George say we spend $6,300 a month. Okay, we can do the plan, no problem. Go. Not even an issue at 6300. Well, what about 8300? Oh, that's what we really want to spend. Okay, well, I think that'll work also. But I can't give you a perfect plan that will address every one of your needs. You can't die with $0 because we don't know what else is going to happen during your life. And we have to make plans so that you can live while you're here, but not leave your partner bereft or running out of money. And, you know, if you, if it were just George on his own and he's like, oh, you know, I got a couple million dollars. I've, you know, what should I do? I want to spend it all. I can give you a number. I can basically say, you can spend a lot more money, but you have to be comfortable spending it down. And there's no one else relying on you. So if you screw up, no one else to blame but yourself. But when you have a partner, especially when there's an age differential, we have to take that into account. So I hope that all made sense. A lot of numbers there, gang. So I hope I didn't hurt your head. If you have a partner who is not on board with a plan that you want to execute. Let's get going. We want to talk to you. Go to Jill on money dot com, click the contact us button, write us a note, and of course let us know if you both can come on the program. It works better. We'll change your names, don't worry. While you're on the website, don't forget we've got the free weekly newsletter. Just go to the newsletter tab at the top of the website. Oh, and of course I've got my cycle for the cause, so you might want to check that out. It's also at the top of the website. Please support me any dollar amount will will make me so happy. And for everyone who donates, you get to pick a song for my training playlist. Mark, I haven't gotten your song yet. So anyway, thanks for everybody who's already participated, and thank you so much for listening. You can subscribe to us on the Odyssey app or wherever you find your favorite podcast. Please do something nice for someone else today. Change your work, Change your wealth. Change your life. Thank you for listening and we'll talk to you tomorrow.