Full-Time Caregiver, Will I Be Okay?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Jill on Money – “Full-Time Caregiver, Will I Be Okay?”

Host: Jill Schlesinger
Date: February 23, 2026
Guest: Annie, Listener from the Bay Area

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Jill Schlesinger takes a listener call from Annie, a full-time caregiver navigating her own long-term financial security while supporting aging parents. The conversation delves into Annie’s finances, future concerns, insurance of her financial foundation, and the broader topic of adult children managing the dual pressures of caretaking and financial planning. Jill provides tailored guidance and reassurance, demonstrating how pensions, Social Security, and estate planning intersect for modern caregivers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Annie’s Situation: Caregiver and Finances

• Annie provides full-time care for her elderly parents but does not live with them.
• She supplements a disability pension with part-time work (one steady gig, one occasional).
• Major concern: Will she have enough to live on independently as she ages?
• Annie recently moved to be closer to her parents and bought a home—one she doesn’t love due to HOA issues but values its convenience right now.

Notable Quote:

• “I am a full-time care provider for my parents and I'm starting to have some angst about looking at their longevity and…having funds to…not become a bag lady when I get to be their age.” – Annie (03:38)

2. Financial Breakdown

Income Streams:

• Disability Pension: $5,200 net per month, tax-free, includes COLA (cost of living adjustment). (04:25–07:51)
• Part-Time Work: $800–$1,000 per month.
• No need to draw from investments at this stage.

Expenses:

• Monthly expenses: About $4,000, which will decrease when a home improvement loan is paid off. (07:13–07:19)
• Primary debt: Mortgage ($223k at 3%) and an Echo Green home improvement loan ($9,200 at 4.99%, paying down aggressively). (05:05, 09:19, 10:49)

Assets:

• Home: $600k market value (Zillow); mortgage outstanding $223k.
• Cash/CDs: $24,000
• Investments:
  • Traditional IRA: $327,000
  • Roth IRA: $57,000
  • Individual non-retirement account: $17,000 ("accidental contribution" moved from IRA) (06:21, 11:31)
  • Fidelity Go account: $2,700
• Future Social Security: Estimated at $896/mo at 67, $1,250/mo at 70. (08:54)

Notable Quote:

• “That [pension] is incredible. And…because it's a disability retirement, it's tax free.” – Jill (07:51)

3. Parental Context & Estate Planning

• Annie’s father (95): Recently entered a care home.
• Mother (84): Living independently, “very sassy.” (09:17)
• Both parents have solid pensions, Social Security, and have saved close to $1 million in cash.
• Annie manages their finances and holds power of attorney. (10:01, 15:30)
• Estate documents recently updated and wishes clearly delineated. (15:30–16:00)

Notable Quote:

• “We just updated their trust documents just three months ago. So I have power of attorney and…their wishes…are laid out.” – Annie (15:30)

Sibling Fairness Debate

• Annie is the sole caregiver among siblings; Jill and Mark both note caregivers should get a larger share of the estate, not a strictly even split. (16:00)

Notable Quote:

• “For all these people listening...in this case...Because she's the full time care provider, should get a bigger share than her deadbeat siblings, especially Mr. Las Vegas, 100%.” – Jill (16:00)

4. Jill’s Financial Advice to Annie

• Liquidate non-retirement stocks ($17k), use proceeds to pay off the Echo loan and bolster cash reserves. Don’t sweat the tax consequences. (12:41–13:34)
• Don’t worry about “bag lady” fears:
  • With lifetime, inflation-adjusted pension and future Social Security, Annie is more than fine.
  • Her current situation allows her to save and not draw down retirement assets for years. (13:38–14:36)

Notable Quote:

• “There's no bag lady future for you, Ms. Annie.” – Jill (17:27)

5. Broader Takeaways for Caregivers

• Jill plans future coverage of longevity and the reality many face: supporting parents who may outlive their savings, and the emotional and financial impact on caregivers.
• Encouragement for listeners to ensure estate plans are up-to-date and for caregivers not to underplay their contributions.

Notable Quote:

• “If you are worried about your aging parents and you are wondering how longevity is going to impact you, we'd love to hear from you.” – Jill (18:09)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:38 – Annie’s motivation and current caregiver role
• 04:25–07:51 – Annie’s income and cost of living breakdown
• 08:54 – Social Security projections
• 09:17–10:41 – Parents’ health, support sources, and Annie’s siblings
• 11:31–13:34 – Unpacking investment accounts and loan repayment plan
• 13:38–14:36 – Jill’s reassurance: steady income secures Annie’s future
• 15:30–16:00 – Estate planning updates and peace of mind
• 16:00 – Caregiver fairness in inheritance split
• 17:27 – “No bag lady future” reassurance

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Memorable Moments & Tone

• Annie’s mix of humor and anxiety over “bag lady” fears lightens a tough conversation.
• Jill’s candid, jargon-free advice (“Sell that whole gosh darn account. Get rid of it. Pay whatever taxes due, pay down your Echo loan and beef up your cash.” – 12:47) showcases her signature practical approach.
• The sibling fairness debate stands out as an honest, rarely-aired perspective on the realities of family caregiving.

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Summary Takeaways

• Annie’s disciplined approach, strong pension, and planning make for a secure future—her caregiving role, though stressful, won’t leave her financially adrift.
• Listeners caring for aging parents should: review their financial situation, update estate documents, and consider the financial value of caregiving when discussing inheritances.
• Jill encourages caregivers not to minimize their sacrifices and provides actionable, empathetic advice throughout.

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For listeners facing similar challenges:

• Make sure to audit your income streams and have a clear picture of debts and assets.
• If you’re a caregiver, know your rights and give yourself credit—both emotionally and financially.
• Keep estate plans current and ensure your efforts are acknowledged in family financial planning.

Transcript

[A]

This year I'm not missing opportunities and it starts with not missing calls because a missed call is money out the door. Quo helps you and your team share one business number, reply faster and stay on top of every customer conversation so you never miss an opportunity to connect with your customers. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled Q U O the smarter way to run your business communications. Quo isn't just a phone system, it's a smart system. AI automatically logs calls, generates summaries, highlights next steps, and can even qualify leads or respond after hours so your business stays responsive even when you're offline. Plus, it's easy to scale, add teammates new numbers and sync your CRM in minutes. Your team can manage everything from one shared number, ensuring no messages are missed and no customer slips through the cracks. Try Quo for free plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com jillonmoney that's Q-U O.com jillonmoney Quo no missed calls, no missed customers need contract help for those workload peaks and backlog projects. You're not alone. Robert half found that 67% of companies surveyed said they will increase their use of contract talent. That's why their recruiters leverage their experience and use award winning AI to to quickly find the skilled candidates you want. Learn about their specialized talent in finance, accounting, technology, marketing, legal and administrative support at Robert Half. They Know Talent. Visit robert.comtalent today. Welcome to the Jill on Money Show. It's Monday, February 23rd and we are here answering your financial questions. Mark and I are both certified financial planners and you know what? This is like the best part of what we do. We love having you come on the show with us. We love getting all the emails from you. It's just, it's great and your stories are wonderful and we really appreciate everyone who comes on and shares and exposes themselves. So we really do appreciate that. Just a few things to note. This is the week where we are hosting our Ed Slut webinar and that is a part of our Jill on Money Live subscription service. So remember if you want to join us to hear Ed Slot CPA IRA Expert Roth IRA Expert if you want to be part of the webinar you have to subscribe to Jill on Money Live. 45 bucks for the next 12 months. So that'll get you this week's Ed Slot webinar. Three more there's bonus content, there's back catalog of all of our webinars. Everything is behind the paywall. All cool. Now, if you don't really care about joining live and you just want to be able to observe the webinar after it has occurred, you can pay for $15 to get that webinar. So just to be clear, one, you get to join live, the other one, a little delay. It may be okay for you. Whatever, it's all good. So just find [e-mail] today we are joined by listener Annie, who listens to us in the fabulous Bay Area. In the Bay Area, while we are going through a biting cold snap on the east coast. What's going on in the Bay Area?

[B]

It's a little foggy, but we're expecting some warm 70 degree temps. So hop on the plane and come on out.

[A]

If only I could get on a plane so easily. God only knows, right? Geez. Okay, so tell us what brings you to us?

[B]

So I am a full time care provider for my parents and I'm starting to have some angst about looking at their longevity and worrying about my longevity and having funds to be able to not become a bag lady when I get to be their age.

[A]

So you're a full time care provider, but do you also work? Like, how are you supporting yourself?

[B]

So I have two. Well, I have one part time gig and then a super part time gig, only one day a week. But I have a disability pension from my previous employment. So I have a disability pension that is my main source of income.

[A]

How much is that?

[B]

So NET it is $5200 a month after the my medical is taken out.

[A]

And then how much do you earn from the part time stuff combined?

[B]

It's probably about 800 to $1,000 a month. Okay.

[A]

Are you living with your parents?

[B]

No. God no.

[A]

Oh my gosh. She's sort of. Could you hear that like Annie's like, wait a minute, it's not enough. I'm taking care of them, I got to live with them. Okay, no. So do you have your own dwelling? Are you a renter or do you own?

[B]

I own.

[A]

Tell me what your place is worth.

[B]

According to Zillow, it's around 600,000.

[A]

Is there a mortgage that's on it?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

How much remains?

[B]

My mortgage is 223,000. It's a 30 year fixed at 3%.

[A]

And you like where you live? This is a good thing, right?

[B]

So I moved right before COVID so that I could be closer to my parents to take care of them. So I, I don't love it because I got what was available and there's an hoa. And I naively thought that HOA would be a great thing, but I'm not loving the hoa. So, you know, I'm going to be here for now, but I don't know what the future holds, you know, after I'm, you know, after they cross over that great rainbow bridge in the sky. If I won't move back into a regular home once interest rates are a little bit more stabilized.

[A]

What about money that you have salted away? In addition to the pension and the part time gigs, I'm now looking at your assets. So tell us about. Do you own a retirement account?

[B]

I do.

[A]

Okay, tell me the value of that.

[B]

So I have a traditional IRA that is 327,000.

[A]

Okay, that's traditional.

[B]

I have a Roth IRA that is around 57,000. So through the company that I use, there's an. It's an individual select account that just has two stock options and that's 17,000. And then last summer when I had to quit my full time job, I was anticipating not being able to work, period, while I was taking care of my parents. So I opened a Fidelity Go account. And that has, it's new, so it's just $2,700.

[A]

And is that invested or is that cash?

[B]

No, that's invested.

[A]

And what about cash on hand?

[B]

So cash on hand, I have 24,000 which includes a CD. Okay.

[A]

And if you look at your expenses right now, what do you think your expenses are running monthly?

[B]

So they're around 4,000. I have a Echo Green loan for some home improvements that I did. So I'm trying to pay that down quicker. So once that is paid off, then my monthly expenses will drop.

[A]

Is that disability pension, that $5,200 a month, does that grow with an inflation rider? Like is there a cost of living adjustment on that?

[B]

Yes, it has a cola. And it's also because it's a disability retirement, it's tax free.

[A]

Okay, that's incredible. And how old are you, Annie? I'm sorry, I forgot to ask that.

[B]

I just turned double nickels 55.

[A]

Okay. When you get to what age will that pension have to turn in? Will that be reduced? Will there be any change to that pension? Maybe when you are of Social Security age. What's the rule on on it?

[B]

There's no change. It's lifetime. It's a lifetime. It's an industrial disability. So there continues to be a cola on it. And, and then California just changed or CalPERS just changed the rules last. I think it was last year that we can now. Initially we weren't allowed to take Social Security because. And so now we can. So. So I'll also be able to collect Social Security at a certain point.

[A]

Do you happen to have any recollection if you've got a statement from Social Security, what your full. Like at 67. What the Social Security.

[B]

So, so at 67 it's supposed to be $896 and at 70 it's $1,250.

[A]

Okay. And tell me about your parents. They're both, they're both in okay. Health. Like they're old. Like where, where are we in the, in the, you know, kind of the life of their needs.

[B]

So dad just went into a board and care home. He's 95.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

And. Right. Longevity. So he, you know, his health is, is starting to decline. But my mom is a very sassy 84 year old who's l. Independently at home.

[A]

How are they supporting themselves?

[B]

So they are also former state employees. So they have a state retirement pension and Social Security. And we're children of decades of a certain generation that they just squirrel the money away. So they have. I manage their money as well. So they have.

[A]

And are you the only, are you the only child or their siblings?

[B]

I'm the only child, but I'm the only responsible child that takes that pitches in.

[A]

Yeah, I like I'm not the only child, but I'm the only responsible child that's.

[B]

Yeah, the baby. I'm the baby of the family.

[A]

So isn't it supposed to be the oldest one who takes control of all this? Come on.

[B]

The oldest one moved to Las Vegas,

[A]

so voted with my feet. Okay, got it. So I mean, so let's think about this. I mean, you, you have a home. Let's. Let's presume you stay in the house at least for the time being. Okay. You have expenses of $4,000 a month. You're bringing in, let's say $6,000 a month between the part time and the disability. So right now, you know, you are seemingly a net saver, is that correct?

[B]

Yeah, so I save a little bit. I have a high yield savings, so there's automatic money that gets transferred to that. I am doing the ROTH catch up. So I put money towards that each month. And then because I'm trying to pay down the Echo loan, that, that's 4.99% and it has $9200 left on it. So the monthly payment would be $180, but I'm paying down $500 a month to try to get rid of that as soon as possible. So once that's paid off, then yes, I'll have a bigger chunk that's going into the savings.

[A]

Okay, but let me ask you something. Remember you said to me about the $17,000 that's in something that you said to stock. What is that exactly? Is that retirement or non retirement?

[B]

So it is an account that was set up at the financial firm that I use because there was a. I accidentally paid into an. So when I originally opened my ira, I did it through the bank because I didn't know, I hadn't listened to your podcast and hadn't been smart. So I opened it at a bank and there was a period where I didn't have an income because my disability income is tax free. So in order to contribute to the Roth ira, I have to have an income. And so I paid, I made contributions to that of $5,000. And so I had to take it out once I realized there was tax event. And so they just took it out and put it into this individual select account.

[A]

So this is just. It's a non. It's not a retirement account. It's 17 grand, right?

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Okay. The Echo loan, what is the outstanding balance?

[B]

9,200.

[A]

Okay, can we stop this? Go. Let me make your life easier. I don't know what stocks it's in. Sell whatever 10 or 12 grand of your stocks. Get rid of it. In fact, sell that whole gosh darn account. Get rid of it. Pay whatever taxes do, pay down your Echo loan and beef up your cash. Okay, done. Let's get rid of that. Okay. When did you do this investment? The 17 grand?

[B]

2021. Well, I opened the account in 2020 with this company. And then that's when we realized I'm

[A]

not going to worry about it. You're going to have some. You'll have some capital gains, Big deal. Sell it out. Keep. Pay off your $9200. Okay. Just be done with it and put the rest in cash. Okay? Okay. Don't think twice about it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. Easy peasy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Now, I want you to know something. You're in fine shape. I mean, you may not feel. Feel that way, but your pension that you deserve has this cost of living adjustment. You will eventually get Social Security, which also has a cost of living adjustment. Yes, it is possible that you live like, you know, till you're 105, but you will always have this income, you know, and that income is adjusted for inflation. And so that's a Humongous opportunity. Because what it means is two things. One, that you can support yourself. Two, you don't have to dip into the traditional or the Roth accounts at all. At all. Okay. So now why don't you take a deep breath. Presumably you'd like to get out of this, the, the house that you own. So we'll deal with it when you, when you have to do that. You know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't worry about it. Now, what's, what is the HOA, what is it, a month?

[B]

It's relatively low. 560. But it, when I moved in here three years ago, it was just 250 or $300. So it's, it's.

[A]

So it feels kind of out of control, right?

[B]

Yeah. And I, you know, it's, it's homeowners setting reserves and they're not experts. So I don't have the warm and fuzzies about that.

[A]

Okay. But for now it's fine. It's close to your folks, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So you'll have another decision to make around that. I'm guessing that that will happen maybe if your mom is no longer able to live independently, you know, there'll be some different decisions. I'm going to ask you a very sticky question because I think your situation is fine. I do want to understand that if both of your parents were to pass away, do you have, have you had eyes on their estate documents? Are you sure that everything's like neat and done?

[B]

Yeah, we just updated their trust documents just three months ago. So I have power of attorney and I take care of all their banking and their health, stuff like that. So they have wills, they have all of that stuff and their wishes for, you know, who gets what is laid out and so forth. So I will have an inheritance at some point, but I don't know what that will be once it's divided up and stuff like that, so.

[A]

But I have. You know what I'm really thinking, of course. Which is Annie's doing all the work. Right. And of course I think she should get a bigger share of her parents estate. I don't want to say that what they've done. Don't say a word, Annie. I'm just going to tell you that for all these people listening, for everyone listening, I know you all hate the idea of having to give more money to one child versus another. However, Mark, do you agree in this case that Annie, because she's the full time care provider, should get a bigger share than her deadbeat siblings, especially Mr. Las Vegas, 100%. And if I was a sibling, I'd say absolutely. You've been doing all the work. Take more. That's exactly. I totally agree. I totally agree. Do you have any idea how big

[B]

the estate is in cash? It's probably close to a million dollars.

[A]

And how many sibs coupled I have?

[B]

Well, they're half sibs. Yeah. So I have three half sibs. So they all have. You know, it's designated in the will what they.

[A]

What each one gets. Right. So, you know, it's not necessarily a quarter. A quarter. A quarter. A quarter.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Okay. Obviously, with a 95 and an 84 year old, your 84 year old mother sounds like she could live for a long time. So I know you're not counting on that. But that cash is good because it's available to them and they have their pensions. So I hope that they don't need to dig into the million bucks, but they might. And it's okay. You are fine on your own. You really are.

[B]

That's good to hear.

[A]

There's no bag lady future for you, Ms. Annie. Okay, I know.

[B]

That's relief.

[A]

Sell the stocks. Make sure that you understand what the cost basis is of those stocks before you do this. All right? Do not let whoever put this in the account convince you not to do it. Just get rid of it. Who needs this? Clean it up. Clean it up and out it goes. Pay off your Echo loan, put the money in cash. And if you want to add, if you are a net saver, because the echo loan, the $500 a month, you want to put that into your Fidelity Go account, fine. But let's use that right now because it will relieve the tension that you're feeling around that outstanding loan. Okay?

[B]

Okay, Sounds good.

[A]

All right, gang. If you are worried about your aging parents and you are wondering how longevity is going to impact you, we'd love to hear from you. I've been reading up on this, actually. Mark, remember my friend Michael Clinton who wrote that book Roar? He's got a new book out about longevity, and I'm gonna have him on as a guest because I think this is an issue that people are seeing their parents live longer and longer, and it's kind of scary. So we're gonna dive into this as a topic because I think it's important even, you know, young people realize it. They're like, oh, you know, my parents could live a long time and I might have to take care of them because a lot of the, you know, I think it's one thing if you're like 50, but a lot of 30 year olds who have 50 and 60 year old parents realize their parents have not done a great job and they now realize, oh, my parents are going to live a long time, I may live a long time. What are we going to do? So if that's you, get in touch with us. Go to jillonmoney.com, click the contact Us button, write us a note, and if you want to come on the air live, just check the box. While you're on the website, don't forget to sign up for the free weekly newsletter comes out every Friday. You can subscribe to us on the Odysee app or wherever you find your favorite podcast. Try to do something nice for someone else today. It's going to make that person feel good and is certainly going to make you feel good. Change your work, change your wealth, change your life. Thank you for listening. We'll talk to you tomorrow. Hey gang, I just made a first time ever purchase on behalf of the pod. I was so psyched because Mark and I don't do a lot of promotional materials, but I was able to create a branded sweatshirt. Yep, a Jill on Money branded sweatshirt with vistaprint. Now I'm not usually good at these things, but Vistaprint made it simple to bring this idea like, oh, wouldn't it be cool if Mark and I could create some sweatshirts that we'll try out and maybe the listeners would want to get them as well. They've got these great design tools, they have fast shipping, human support if you need a little guidance along the way. Because the sweatshirts were so easy to execute. Now I'm thinking about doing some other stuff. Maybe there's some baseball caps or, I don't know, other fun stuff that you guys would want. You'll let us know. There's a reason that over a million people trust Vistaprint for their small business print needs. Vistaprint print your possible right now new customers get 20% off with code [e-mail] go behind the scenes of one of TV's most watched true crime series with the 48 hours postmortem podcast where correspondents and producers take you inside each case. Every Monday, listen to a new episode of 48 Hours and then join me 48 Hours course correspondent Ann Marie Green every Tuesday for a new episode of Postmortem. Follow and listen to 48 Hours on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts.