My Parents DO Need My Support!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "My Parents DO Need My Support!"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Jill on Money with Jill Schlesinger
• Host/Author: Audacy
• Episode: My Parents DO Need My Support!
• Release Date: January 21, 2025

---

Introduction

In the January 21, 2025 episode of Jill on Money with Jill Schlesinger, host Jill Schlesinger, CFP®, along with co-host Mark T. O'Connor, delves into the heartfelt and financially intricate situation of a listener named Sabrina. The episode focuses on the challenges Sabrina faces in supporting her aging parents, exploring practical solutions and strategic financial planning to balance familial obligations with personal financial stability.

Listener’s Story: Sabrina’s Challenge

Sabrina, a 52-year-old professional from the Midwest, reaches out to the show seeking guidance on supporting her parents, who are aged 76 and 77. Her parents are facing a shortfall in their monthly income, necessitating Sabrina's assistance to sustain their lifestyle and cover essential expenses.

Key Points:

• Parental Financial Overview: Sabrina's parents have a home valued at approximately $700,000 with an existing mortgage of $200,000 at a low 2% interest rate. Their monthly mortgage payment is $1,000.

• Income and Expenses: The parents' primary income consists of Social Security benefits totaling around $3,000 per month, supplemented by a lump sum reimbursement for health insurance. Their monthly expenses exceed their income by about $5,000, depleting their savings of approximately $150,000 (including $80,000 in retirement accounts).

• Sabrina’s Financial Situation: Sabrina and her husband, aged 52 and 57 respectively, have substantial retirement savings totaling over $1.5 million, along with a mortgage of $200,000 on their home valued at around $450,000. Both are employed full-time and are slated to receive pensions starting at age 65. Sabrina’s husband plans to retire at 60, enhancing their financial outlook with additional pension income.

Financial Analysis and Discussion

Jill and Mark meticulously assess Sabrina's situation, breaking down both her parents' and her own financial standings to identify viable support mechanisms without compromising her retirement plans.

Notable Insights:

1. Evaluating Support Options:

   • Reverse Mortgage Consideration: Jill suggests exploring a reverse mortgage as a potential avenue for tapping into her parents' home equity, providing them with additional monthly income without disrupting their current living situation.
     • Jill Schlesinger [12:51]: "I'm wondering whether a reverse mortgage might be helpful to them. ... can give them a little bit of money out of the equity that they have built up in the house."

2. Balancing Assistance with Personal Finances:

   • Jill recommends modeling different financial scenarios with a professional advisor to determine sustainable support levels.
     • Jill Schlesinger [20:16]: "What I would ask is you should be modeling what amount of money you can send to your parents every single month in order to keep them afloat, but not derail all of your retirement hopes and dreams."

3. Strategic Withdrawal and Savings Management:

   • Emphasis is placed on prioritizing the depletion of the parents' retirement accounts over their savings to preserve liquid assets.
     • Jill Schlesinger [23:20]: "I would pull what they need. Whatever it is this year it's, you know, 50 grand from the three retirement accounts. Just plow through these retirement accounts."

4. Future Financial Planning:

   • Sabrina is advised to continuously reassess her financial strategy, especially considering her husband’s retirement and the potential variability of her parents' investment returns.
     • Jill Schlesinger [22:04]: "And it's almost better if you say to this person up front, like, there's no way we're doing this because they live in a different place. But I need you to explain to me what you think would be possible based on having a half a million dollars of equity right now."

Recommendations and Action Steps

Jill and Mark offer Sabrina a structured approach to navigate her financial responsibilities toward her parents while safeguarding her own financial future:

1. Consult a Financial Advisor: Engage a professional to model various support scenarios, ensuring that any assistance provided does not jeopardize her retirement plans.

2. Explore Reverse Mortgage Options: Investigate the feasibility of a reverse mortgage for her parents to supplement their income without necessitating an immediate move or sale of the family home.

3. Prioritize Retirement Savings: Maintain substantial savings while strategically utilizing retirement accounts to cover necessary expenses, thereby preserving liquidity for unforeseen circumstances.

4. Document Financial Assistance: If providing financial support, ensure proper documentation and legal counsel to manage estate implications and familial agreements.

5. Prepare for Long-Term Adjustments: Recognize the fluid nature of financial needs as Sabrina’s parents age, and remain adaptable to evolving circumstances, including potential health care requirements.

Conclusion

The episode culminates with Jill and Mark reinforcing the importance of proactive financial planning and open communication within families facing similar dilemmas. They encourage listeners like Sabrina to seek personalized advice and to approach financial assistance with a balanced perspective that honors both familial obligations and personal financial goals.

Final Thoughts:

• Jill Schlesinger [26:05]: "It's so true. It's so true. God. All right, so listen, give us a holler if something is going on and let us know if we need to help you out in a different way."

Listeners are reminded to reach out for support and to utilize the resources available on the Jill on Money website for further assistance.

---

Key Quotes:

• Sabrina [05:40]: "They have a home, a car, and their property. But with their expenses and medical, they're between their income by about $5,000 a month."

• Jill Schlesinger [12:51]: "I'm wondering whether a reverse mortgage might be helpful to them... can give them a little bit of money out of the equity that they have built up in the house."

• Jill Schlesinger [20:16]: "You should be modeling what amount of money you can send to your parents every single month in order to keep them afloat, but not derail all of your retirement hopes and dreams."

• Sabrina [17:21]: "My goal is around 55, 57. Their projections are much more aggressive than mine. I tend to be a little more conservative."

---

Resources Mentioned:

• For personalized support and additional resources, visit jillonmoney.com and click the "Contact Us" button to reach out to Jill and Mark.

---

This episode provides a compassionate and strategic framework for individuals grappling with the financial responsibilities of supporting aging parents, emphasizing the balance between generosity and prudent financial management.

Transcript

[Jill Schlesinger]

Real estate. It's been a cornerstone of wealth building.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

For generations, but it's also often a major headache for investors. 3:00am Maintenance calls, tenant disputes, property taxes Enter the Fundrise Flagship Real estate fund, a $1.1 billion real estate portfolio built for you. We're Talking more than 4,000 single family homes in thriving Sunbelt communities, 3.3 million square feet of in demand industrial facilities, all professionally managed by an experienced team. With the Flagship Fund, you're tapping into real estate's most attractive qualities. Long term appreciation potential, a hedge against inflation diversification beyond the stock market. Check, check, check. All without complex paperwork, massive down payments or soul sucking landlord duties. Visit fundrise.comjillonmoney to explore the portfolio. Check out historical returns and see just how easy it can be to add real estate to your investing strategy. Carefully consider the investment objectives, risks, charges and expenses of the Fundrise Flagship Fund before investing. This and other information can be found in the Fund's [e-mail] Flagship this is a paid advertisement gang. During the holidays I had to ship out a few books to some friends.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Of mine and I just completely lost track of this.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

It took me a week to get my act together.

[Jill Schlesinger]

My goodness, it was so, so hectic.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

And I know your life can be chaotic, but if you're in charge of order fulfillment for an e commerce business, you know that it's its own special kind of chaos. But with Shipstation you can count on your day to day remaining calm. Save hours and money every month by shipping from all your stores with one login, automating repetitive tasks and finding the best rates among all the global carriers.

[Jill Schlesinger]

This can allow you to focus on.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Other parts of your business because you don't have to worry about shipping and fulfillment with Shipstation. Shipstation is the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers with discounts of up to 88% off UPS, DHL Express and USPS rates and up to 90% off FedEx rates. Calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the shipping software that delivers switch to ShipStation today. Go to shipstation.com and use code JILL ONMONEY to sign up for your free trial. That's shipstation.com code JILL ON MONEY welcome.

[Jill Schlesinger]

To the Jill on Money Show. It's Tuesday, January 21st and yeah, we're turning a page over we've got a new president. But you know what? We're still focusing on you. On your financial issues, on your questions, on your opportunities. So if there's something going on in your life and you need A little bit of guidance, assistance, maybe some cheerleading. Mark and I are here for you. We're both certified financial planners. We don't do it for a living. This is what we do for a living. We talk about this stuff. But if you've got a question, get in touch with us, go to jillonmoney.com, click the contact us button, write us a note.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

And by the way, if you'd like to come on the program, just check.

[Jill Schlesinger]

The box and Mark will do everything else.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

All of our content lives on the website.

[Jill Schlesinger]

We've got other shows, we've got a blog, we've got videos and resources. Just check it all out. Just bookmark jillonmoney.com okay. Today we are chatting with Sabrina who.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Joins us from the Midwest.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Hello, Sabrina, how are you?

[Sabrina]

I'm good. How are you doing?

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Great.

[Jill Schlesinger]

What can we do for you?

[Sabrina]

Well, I just found out that you asked this question all the time of do you have anyone else you need to take care of? And I just found out, I'm Mike. My parents, they need my support sooner.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Rather than how old are they?

[Sabrina]

They are 76 and 77.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. This must have been hard for them. That's a generation where they're not so happy about saying I need your help. So how did this come about?

[Sabrina]

Well, they've been sort of mentioning it a little bit. So I've, this last trip we went up and I said, you know, let's go through the finances. And sure enough, we sat down and we went through the finances and just really got a bird's eye view of exactly what they had, what their income is and what's left. So they have, if they spend the way they do without making any adjustments, maybe two to three years. And then hopefully there's an investment coming through that would potentially support them, depending on how much. But I'm not counting on the investment. I think I need to plan as though it's not there and to understand what are some things that we could do. So we looked at, should we opening a home equity line of credit? Are there other things? And then what do I need to do with my own personal finances and my husband to ensure that? Can we even support them? I do have a brother, but he's got kids. We don't have any kids. So it's really, he's very supportive. Like we're all working through this together, but he's not going to be able to do the financials, not with three kids about to go to college, right?

[Jill Schlesinger]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Sabrina]

I'm not going to ask him to do that.

[Jill Schlesinger]

So your brother's married and has three kids. Kids. You're married and have no kids?

[Sabrina]

Correct.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, I got you. Let's talk about your parents. Let's look at your parents like their balance sheet first before we go into how you can help them. Right, okay. So since you mentioned a home equity line of credit. They own a home, right?

[Sabrina]

They have a home.

[Jill Schlesinger]

How much is that house worth?

[Sabrina]

It's worth 700, about when I zillowed it. They have a loan for about 200 out that they took out at like a 2% interest rate. That's $1,000 a month.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Oh, I love that 2% interest rate. Okay. And is that a straight up mortgage.

[Sabrina]

Or is it a straight up 30 year mortgage?

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, gotcha. And besides the house, what else do they have?

[Sabrina]

So they may have other things that they could sell, but really it's a house, a car and their property. Right. And I don't think at this point they're eager to, you know, start selling off anything they, they live. I wouldn't say they live outlandishly, but you know, I, I don't want to, you know, also say you can't live at all. They don't go out to eat a lot. They don't do a ton of stuff. But at the end of the day with their expenses and medical and all the other fun stuff, you know, they're between their income there, we're looking at about maybe $5,000 a month short, you know, so that's what they're drawing out of the savings that they have.

[Jill Schlesinger]

So what's the savings account balance?

[Sabrina]

Savings accounts all in are about 150 or so.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay.

[Sabrina]

Plus or minus.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. And that's just plain old savings or is that old retirement accounts? What is the composition of that?

[Sabrina]

Mostly savings, checkings, and about three retirement accounts that are in there, but they're not too much in the retirement accounts. I mean, whatever they draw down, they draw down to look at the exact details. I had, I think about 50,000 was in or 80,000 was in the retirement accounts.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, so we've got 80,000 in retirement accounts and then 70,000 in savings, basically. Right?

[Sabrina]

Something like that. Yeah.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, I gotcha. Just want to be precise on this part of it. Okay. And the. So that actually.

[Sabrina]

Sorry, I do have it. It's 102 in the IRA and non investments. So. And the rest?

[Jill Schlesinger]

102.

[Sabrina]

102.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Yep. Is in the IRA. Yep. Okay.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

And the rest?

[Jill Schlesinger]

The 50 is in savings.

[Sabrina]

Yes.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, got it. All right, Next, sources of income, do they receive Social Security?

[Sabrina]

Yes. So their Social Security is. And I was just thinking about this to some things you said, but one is 2201 is 925. And I'm wondering if they both started receiving at 62. And then there's one lump sum they get every year of 3600.

[Jill Schlesinger]

What's the lump sum?

[Sabrina]

It's for reimbursement for health insurance.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, I gotcha. So really, we're looking at around three grand a month or so in Social Security. Are there any other sources of income?

[Sabrina]

No, just those.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. And you said they are spending in additional $5,000 a month, which they're pulling down from their investment, their retirement and savings accounts, right?

[Sabrina]

Correct. Yeah. So about 55,000 or so. We're looking at some ways to reduce that. So I think we can get that down maybe another thousand or so a month. So I think we're looking at about five.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Even if it's four or five. I mean, whatever.

[Sabrina]

Yep.

[Jill Schlesinger]

You're going to, as you say, they. You're going to run out of money, or they are. So here's the other question for you. When we look ahead, are there any financial needs besides the cash flow? Is there anything that has to be done in the near term?

[Sabrina]

I don't think there's anything that has to be done in the near term. But, you know, they have a house, there's heaters, there's cars. There's all, you know, that's what I'm trying.

[Jill Schlesinger]

We have, Trying to suss that out right now.

[Sabrina]

It's. They know their car is newer, so there's nothing, you know, it's not immediate any of those needs, I think, but I don't, I do anticipate them coming up over the course of their, their life.

[Jill Schlesinger]

And they're in a very low tax bracket at this point. Although. Do you know when they're pulling that four or $5,000 a month? Do you think they're pulling it mostly from the retirement accounts, or do you think they're pulling it from kind of the combination of the savings and the retirement accounts?

[Sabrina]

I don't know. I haven't asked those specific questions. It was, my first goal, was just going in and getting a lay of the land and, and setting it up so that every month we were going to do a report out and say, where is, you know, what's left in the account? So we could see it burning down. It was baby steps.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Yeah.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. No, I understand. I'm just, I'm. I understand that okay. How's your. The health of each of your parents?

[Sabrina]

Better than expected, I think part of their planning was they sort of expected, you know, maybe my dad to pass away a little earlier. And so far his health has been really good. So that's a pleasant surprise.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Bad news, good news and bad news. The good news is you're doing well. The bad news is you're doing well.

[Sabrina]

Yes, yes. So I think they're. They're doing pretty good. You know, my dad's sides and mom's side, they both have longevity overall in their family. So, you know, they could be looking at another 15 to 20 years potentially.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Yeah. And right now, when we look ahead around that you said something about an investment coming due or what. What is that?

[Sabrina]

They may. They took some money and invested it, and if so, they could get anywhere from 500 to 1.5 million. What? So. But who knows? They were supposed to get that a year ago. It didn't happen. Didn't happen last year. I don't think I can plan for it. I would be. I mean, everybody thinks it should happen.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay.

[Sabrina]

Will it happen? I don't know. So I have to plan as though it's not going to happen. And then in two or three years, if it does happen, great, we'll have another.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Is this legit or did they get scammed?

[Sabrina]

Oh, no, no, it's legit. It's legit. I, we both, my brother and I have spent some time kind of looking into it and how much, how much did they invest? You know, I, at this point, it's probably about 85k that I, I'm aware of.

[Jill Schlesinger]

So now we understand what's going on with your parents. And they want to stay in their home, is that right?

[Sabrina]

Oh, yes. They will not go into a nursing home or anything else. So it is going to be home health care if needed. They're very independent people.

[Jill Schlesinger]

All right, that's good. Okay, so a couple of things before we get on to your specific situation. See how much you can help. One thing I was thinking you mentioned off the top, like, hey, maybe we should have a home equity line of credit. I'm wondering, this is one of those rare cases where I'm wondering whether a reverse mortgage might be helpful to them. Literally one of those very few cases where we have the ability to tap equity and maybe if done correctly, can give them a little bit of money out of the equity that they have built up in the house. So let's keep that on the back burner right now. If they had, if they had no Sabrina, then that's what we would likely look at. Okay. Now, Sabrina, you and your husband have no kids. What I'm hoping that means is that you have piles and piles of money. Do you?

[Sabrina]

I not. I don't know. I feel like retirement's gonna get expensive.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

I know.

[Jill Schlesinger]

So, Sabrina, how old are you?

[Sabrina]

I am 52.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. And your husband?

[Sabrina]

He is 57.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. And you're both employed full time?

[Sabrina]

We are both employed full time.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. And are either of you going to be entitled to a pension?

[Sabrina]

Both of us, actually. So my pension is going to be 24, 56amonth.

[Jill Schlesinger]

At what age?

[Sabrina]

At 65.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Okay.

[Sabrina]

And his, his is going to go up a little bit, but right now we're projecting it about 550amonth. And that is, mine is 100, no survivor benefit, and his is a, his is a survivor benefit. So I would get to keep his.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Okay.

[Jill Schlesinger]

And, and, and just so I'm clear, his, that his would kick in at age 65 as well.

[Sabrina]

He's planning to retire at 60, so all of his pension calculations are at 60.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. All right, that's fine. So that's pretty good though. So you got at least, you know, three grand coming in. Are those cost of living adjusted, those pensions?

[Sabrina]

Mine is not. I don't know about his. His might be.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, all right, this is still good. I'll take it. I'll take it. All right. So now what about money you guys.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Have saved your own balance sheet?

[Jill Schlesinger]

Like what do we have in your retirement accounts?

[Sabrina]

So in my 401k, my 401k, I have about 480k and it's a traditional. Right, traditional 401k.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay.

[Sabrina]

My pre tax IRA is about 809,000.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Wow.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay.

[Sabrina]

And my Roth is 130,000.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, that's good. So that is the Sabrina bucket. Lots of money.

[Sabrina]

And my husband's, so he's a teacher. So he has a combination of a 457, a 403B and a 401K all in. That's 168,168.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay.

[Sabrina]

And his Roth is 22,000.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. You guys own a home, right?

[Sabrina]

Yes.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Okay.

[Jill Schlesinger]

How much is your house worth?

[Sabrina]

I think about 425, 450 somewhere in there.

[Jill Schlesinger]

How is it going to handle two late 70 year olds when they move in with you? I'm just kidding. I understand.

[Sabrina]

We'll need a new house.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Just checking in on that. Okay. Do you have a mortgage on this house?

[Sabrina]

We do. It's about 200k. It's about a 20 year mortgage with probably about 15 years, 14 years left on it.

[Jill Schlesinger]

So what's the interest rate?

[Sabrina]

2.75.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Oh, my gosh. Okay. So I mean, what I'm hearing from you is you socked away a lot of money. When you think about your own retirement need, what is the amount of money you think you would need?

[Sabrina]

I think all in. And when I calculate my 14k a month includes paying government taxes, paying medical, paying any remaining mortgage, like all in. So that should come to me, and then I pay out based on that. It pays for the dogs, it pays for everything else that needs to go on.

[Jill Schlesinger]

So you said 14,000amonth.

[Sabrina]

That's.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Yes, but it's really not 14 because it seems like.

[Sabrina]

Right. My living is like 10. But I think I need 14 gross to live on. Right.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, 14 grand gross and you'll both be entitled to Social Security, Right?

[Sabrina]

Correct.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. Do you know what those estimates are?

[Sabrina]

Yep. My husband at 62. Which is when he's gonna collect.

[Jill Schlesinger]

No, why would he collect at 62?

[Sabrina]

He doesn't have longevity.

[Jill Schlesinger]

All right. Okay.

[Sabrina]

We've done the calculator running the numbers on that, and that seems to make sense. So his will be 1486 at 62.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay.

[Sabrina]

I was planning at 70. And mine at 70 is 4671.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. 4671. Okay. All right. So essentially, you know, at your age 70, you'll have the $3,000 a month of pensions about, between the two of them, 460, you know, 4,671 for your retirement account. And if he were to predecease you, you get some benefit as.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

As a widow.

[Jill Schlesinger]

But, you know, that's. That's pretty good cash flow right there.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Right?

[Jill Schlesinger]

I mean, we know that, you know, 76, $7,800 a month, that's pretty good ways towards your 14 gross, right?

[Sabrina]

Correct.

[Jill Schlesinger]

And so. And you've got a bunch of money saved. And how long do you think you would work? Are you thinking about 65 for yourself?

[Sabrina]

No, before all of this, when I had run the numbers, I think I would be okay at 57. And my goal is not necessarily to stop work, but I want to know, I'm not worried anymore. If I got let go or something happened or I hated the people I worked with. I mean, none of those things are true at the moment. But I just want to know, when am I comfortable that if something happened, I could stop working and do something else? And my goal was around 55, 57. Our financial advisor had said we were good at 55, but I think their projections are much more aggressive than mine. I tend to be a little more conservative. So that was my goal. I don't think I can do that anymore with this. But I should know in three years what's going to happen.

[Jill Schlesinger]

All right, so you did mention a financial advisor. Have you asked your financial advisor about this?

[Sabrina]

Not yet. I was, this was, you know, this is very new. It's about a month away or you know, since we kind of uncovered this. So I'm still trying to sort of sort it out before I go. Okay, let's, let's redo my big financial plan and figure that out. So I've been trying to run the numbers on my own and just understand where my situation is and how much we can help them out both in the immediate future and the long term future if needed.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Right. I mean, because look, you know that, let's just say, I guess, look, five years from now that you know, you'll have, I don't know, a million and a half now. So Maybe you'll have $2 million at the time of your retirement. Right. And that could generate 80ish amount, you know, about 80 grand gross. Adding that to your husband's pension and Social Security, you know, you'll have to pull down money out of your pre tax accounts to live on. And I see how it makes sense. Okay, for you, what I don't know makes sense right now is what percentage of this cash flow and your balance sheet you should be using to assist your parents. Again, I think there's going to be two big questions. And so maybe this is what I would ask the financial advisor. What I would say is you should be modeling what amount of money you can send to your parents every single month in order to keep them afloat, but not derail all of your retirement hopes and dreams. And maybe what I would do is I would have them model this at your age. I don't think 57 is in your, is in the sight lines. That's just my two cents. Yeah, but I would have them look at it at 60 and you know, say, hey, what happens if I work for eight more years until my age 60 and sending my parents, I'm going to make this up three grand a month. Now what are you putting into your retirement account right now? What are you contributing?

[Sabrina]

Mine is maxed out with the catch up contribution and my husband's is about, I think about 13k a year. His is so confusing to me.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Yeah, because of all the nonsense like, what's this? What's in 457? Okay, so maybe what I would think about is, so ask the advisor to say, okay, what happens if I were to. Instead of maxing out and hubby putting 13 grand in, what if between the two of us, we put in, say, 20 grand total and the rest of that money goes to my parents? How would that impact our retirement? Because what I would rather you do right now is just take some cash flow amount that would help them but not derail you. And I want to know what it is, because maybe that when looking at this, if it's a real financial advisor, this is easy to do, right? They'll be able to look at this and say, okay, not a problem. Because when we model it this way, you can, you know, work until you're 60, send your parents three grand a month, and then, you know, we'll see where you stand. They'll really be able to do that. So if you. The question is if we can give. Get them, say, three grand a month from you and then one grand a month from a reverse mortgage. Right. Or a little bit more. Let's say it's, you know, let's say.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

It'S two grand a month.

[Jill Schlesinger]

I don't know what it'll be, but let's say it's two grand a month from the reverse mortgage and three grand a month from you. Would that work? And that's what we're trying to see. So. So I think you're going to need two things. One is ask your financial advisor to make a referral to someone you can just talk to about a reverse mortgage on behalf of your parents. Okay. And you just need to gather information. Just do not say like, I'm not going to do this, but you need somebody who's going to help guide you.

[Sabrina]

Right?

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. And it's almost better if you say to this person up front, like, there's no way we're doing this because they live in a different place. But I need you to explain to me what you think would be possible based on having a half a million dollars of equity right now.

[Sabrina]

Okay.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. And then I want the advisor to model what is possible for you and you and your husband. Because I think it's probably okay for you to send them three grand or 3,500amonth. I think that would be okay. It sounds like you make good money together. But, you know, I think it gets a little bit dicey in three years when your husband stops working. Right. You're not going to have the same Cash flow.

[Sabrina]

Correct. Right. Especially the first two years before he starts collecting any Social Security.

[Jill Schlesinger]

So maybe what we do is we start building a. Maybe you, you have a smaller amount right now that goes out to them and they start just pulling money out of their retirement accounts. I would not pull one dime from their savings. I would keep $50,000 in savings. Okay. And then I would pull what they need. Whatever it is this year it's, you know, 50 grand from the three retirement accounts. Just plow through these retirement accounts.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

That's fine.

[Jill Schlesinger]

We can get rid of those. It's better for that to happen first. But keep that cash on hand. Now, everything changes if for some reason this investment comes in. But I think that this is what we're trying to model, which is what's the impact for them and what's the impact on you? I think that the best case scenario is to get as much money as possible that's out of their names and, you know, spend down and then you guys augment that and you kind of have to see how things go. There's only so much you can do. I guess there's a fail safe option, which is, would your parents sell their home and move in with you? That's another question. They don't live nearby, right?

[Sabrina]

No. Yeah. I think we have to take that sort of one step at a time. You know, they're not willing to pull that option at this point in time. Now if, if I did this and we give money right. To the parents. I know you've said in other shows to kind of build that out of their estate. Right. So the estate isn't split equally between my brother and I, but the. I would draw first to repay myself. Is that still a possibility with this?

[Jill Schlesinger]

Yeah, yeah, you got it. But there's not going to be any money left.

[Sabrina]

Well, probably not, but you know, just to, if there is. Right. Who knows what's going to happen, you know.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Yes, of course you can do that. You'll have to document it.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Right.

[Jill Schlesinger]

And have a lawyer help you with that. But that's very easy to do. I think this is going to be a, like a very fluid situation. And I guess that, you know, my hope is that we can kind of steady them a bit and get them what they need. Once you really look at this, if they've plowed through their retirement, you know, they're going to be able to have, they're going to have to rely on you and maybe your brother and wife and their three kids, they're going to do whatever they need to do. But, you know, at some point, there may have to be more significant decisions made. That's what I would say. And also, look, not to be daft or anything, but, like, it is, your parents, you do love them. They have screwed themselves, clearly. Okay. And at some point, their mistakes can't just be your problem alone. And they are going to have to tighten their belts. I know you're saying they don't, like, live large, but, you know, they're living. They're doing okay. And, you know, if they're spending eight grand a month, that's real money, right?

[Sabrina]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it is what it is, right?

[Jill Schlesinger]

I mean, I guess so. I know.

[Sabrina]

I look at it, they. I didn't come out of college with any loans because they paid for that. So, you know, there's other things that I received. So I'm trying to look at it in a positive way of how do I. How do I pay this back? Right. Because I didn't have loans early on in my life, and I, you know, kind of reverse this. There's the lesson.

[Ben Stiller]

You can finance college, you can't really.

[Sabrina]

Take out a loan for retirement.

[Jill Schlesinger]

No, that's true. It's so true. God. All right, so listen, give us a holler if something is going on and let us know if we need to help you out in a different way. Or give us a holler when you actually get the information back from your.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Own financial advisor and we can see.

[Jill Schlesinger]

If there's something else that we should be considering. Okay.

[Sabrina]

I appreciate it. I appreciate everything. It was a pleasure talking to you.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Oh, it's a pleasure. I kind of want the better phone calls. I want there to be like, oh, guess what? I'm gonna be the recipient of a $5 million. Okay. This is real life, though. Sorry, gang. All right, if you're like Sabrina and there is, like, a surprise that is not a good surprise and you need some help navigating through that, give us a Holler. Go to jillonmoney.com, click the contact us button.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Let us know if you would be willing to come on the air live.

[Jill Schlesinger]

By checking the box. Don't forget all of our content lives on the website, including your ability to subscribe to Jill on Money live, where.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

For $45, you will have access to.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Quarterly live webinars and bonus video content and audio content and the back catalog. All there for you. Jill on Money Live, you can subscribe to us on the Odyssey app or wherever you find your favorite podcast.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Please leave us a rating and review.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Wherever you listen and of course, do something nice for someone else today. Hey, talk to your kids sooner rather than later if things are not going so well. Change your work, change your wealth, change your life. Thank you for listening.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

We'll talk to you tomorrow.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Real Estate it's been a cornerstone of.

[Mark T. O'Connor]

Wealth building for generations, but it's also often a major headache for investors. 3:00am Maintenance calls, tenant disputes, property taxes Enter the Fundrise Flagship Real estate fund, a $1.1 billion real estate portfolio built for you. We're Talking more than 4,000 single family homes in thriving Sunbelt communities, 3.3 million square feet of in demand industrial facilities, all professionally managed by an experienced team. With the Flagship Fund, you're tapping into real estate's most attractive qualities. Long term appreciation potential, a hedge against inflation, diversification beyond the stock market. Check, check, check. All without complex paperwork, massive down payments or soul sucking landlord duties. Visit fundrise.comjillonmoney to explore the portfolio. Check out historical returns and see just how easy it can be to add real estate to your investing strategy. Carefully consider the investment objectives, risks, charges and expenses of the Fundrise Flagship Fund before investing. This and other information can be found in the Fund's [e-mail] Flagship this is a paid Advertisement.

[Ben Stiller]

Hey, I'm Ben Stiller. I'm Adam Scott and we make a TV show called Severance. On January 17th, Severance is back for season two on Apple TV and we can't wait to for you guys to see it. And before the premiere, Ben and I are going to be binging season one and putting out daily recap podcasts. Yep, each weekday beginning January 7th, we'll be dropping an episode featuring exclusive behind the scenes tidbits and brilliant insights from our cast and crew and us, Patricia Arquette, Britt Lauer, Zach Cherry, John Turturro, the list goes on. All your favorite Lumen employees, their friends, families, enemies in your feed every single weekday. And here's the best part. After that, we're gonna keep going. Tune in weekly as we recap every episode of season two. The podcast drops on the same day the episode comes out. It's the Severance Podcast with Ben and Adam on Apple Podcasts, the Odyssey app, or wherever you get your podcasts.