My Wife Has Cancer, Can We Build Her Dream Cabin?

Summary

Episode Summary: My Wife Has Cancer, Can We Build Her Dream Cabin?

Podcast: Jill on Money with Jill Schlesinger
Host: Jill Schlesinger (with producer Mark)
Date: January 28, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this emotionally resonant episode, Jill and Mark take a call from Alex, a listener navigating the complex intersection of financial planning and life’s unexpected challenges—specifically, his wife’s recent cancer diagnosis. The core theme centers on how to balance pursuing meaningful family dreams (building a long-desired mountain cabin) with prudent financial decision-making in the face of significant health uncertainty. With compassion and candor, Jill walks Alex through their assets, income, spending, and big decisions ahead.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Personal Backstory and Motivation

• Alex’s Situation: He and his wife (both 54) are revisiting their financial plans following her cancer diagnosis.
  • “Life has thrown us some curveballs, especially regarding my wife's health ... getting your take on our financial readiness and to help expedite our retirement, hopefully, and build our dream cabin, considering my wife's recent cancer diagnosis.” —Alex [03:56]
• Positive Update: Treatments are helping, and they’re optimistic about her having years ahead to enjoy retirement.

2. Detailed Financial Overview

• Income:
  • Alex: $18,000/month
  • Wife: $9,000/month, soon reducing to $5,000/month with possible half-time work
• Expenses: ~$12,000/month (excluding taxes)
  • $3,000 discretionary
  • $9,000 essential
• Retirement Savings:
  • $1.2 million total: $800,000 in Roth, $400,000 traditional ([06:38])
  • $48,000 brokerage; $15,000 savings
• Home and Cabin:
  • Primary home: $780,000 value, $375,000 mortgage (3.39% rate)
  • Cabin in progress: $400,000 invested, $70,000 land value; about halfway done
  • Funding for cabin started with $300,000 mutual fund now exhausted, $250,000 HELOC opened ($23,000 drawn) ([08:11])
• Children: Two sons (27, independent; 23, renting in-law apartment at home and still on family health insurance)
  • The in-law apartment, once vacated, can yield $1,000/month in rent
• Pension:
  • Alex’s pension beginning in the coming fall: $12,800/month ([10:15])

3. Real Estate and Rental Income Strategy

• Two owned condos (25 years, soon paid off), planning a 1031 exchange to consolidate rentals closer to home and increase cash flow (expected $3,000/month rental income) ([11:11])
• Guidance on how a 1031 exchange can help defer taxes and improve management ease

4. Dream Cabin Funding Dilemma

• Need ~$200,000 more to finish the cabin; debating between:
  • Withdrawing from retirement accounts (wife’s preference)
  • Tapping the HELOC at 4% interest (Alex’s preference)
• Jill and Mark’s strong advice: avoid liquidating retirement accounts now. Instead, use a mix of the HELOC, possible liquidity from brokerage account, and pausing retirement contributions briefly to free up cash for finishing the cabin.
  • “I don't love putting [retirement] money ... taking the money out. Mark, what do you think? I don't like tapping her assets at this moment.” —Jill [14:41]
  • Consider selling brokerage assets first for liquidity, even if some tax is due ([16:19])
  • Pause Alex’s $2,000/month Roth contributions temporarily ([15:01])
• Long-Term Suggestion: If health scenario changes or stresses escalate, consider selling the two condos outright (not doing a 1031 exchange), paying the taxes, replenishing cash reserves, finishing the cabin, and simplifying their financial situation ([17:34])

5. Risk Management and Contingency Planning

• “Financial planning ... is what you are trained to do: where is there a problem? Your wife is in health care, tell her it's like triage. Like, what is the worst thing that's going on right now? How can we address it and come up with a game plan?” —Jill [18:46]
• Ensure cash reserves of $75,000-$100,000 as a safety net ([18:18])
• If wife can’t work, consider the fallback options: rental income, pension, and potential asset liquidation
• Life insurance in place: $100k for wife, $1m for Alex (term policies) ([20:16])
• Estate planning: All documents completed recently ([19:54])

6. Emotional Acknowledgement and Final Reassurances

• Jill offers empathy for Alex’s position, acknowledging the difficulty but validating that they’re in a sound place:
  • “You have a pretty damn good game plan. You have a pretty rotten diagnosis, so I'm sorry about that. But ... you really put yourselves in a place where you can accomplish these goals.” —Jill [20:35]
• Strong encouragement to proceed with their dream in a pragmatic way, while maintaining flexibility
• Open invitation for future follow-up as circumstances evolve

7. Humor & Human Connection

• Lighthearted exchange about being invited to stay in Alex’s future mountain cabin (“guest ensuite”) ([21:02])
• Jill closes by encouraging listeners impacted by “curveballs,” praising Alex’s proactive, loving care for his wife

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On facing adversity with planning:
  • “That is what we do here. We are a community. We help each other and we are very focused on especially those who have been given, as Alex called, a curveball—that is beyond a curveball; that's like being beamed in the head.” —Jill [22:16]
• Alex on his wife’s resilience:
  • “She’s a tough girl. And she said, you know what, this is, you know, online shopping is driving me crazy. I'm just gonna go back to work.” ([05:06])
• On retirement account priorities:
  • “I'm with her. I was exactly what I was going to say.” —Jill, agreeing that funding the cabin over retirement is valid, given the circumstances ([13:10])
• A moment of relief for Jill upon learning about the pension:
  • “Now I feel like I can breathe on your behalf. That is a humongous relief, right?” —Jill [10:17]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:40] — Alex introduces his situation: wife’s cancer, goal to build dream cabin
• [05:06] — Wife’s work status and resilience
• [06:38] — Breakdown of retirement savings
• [08:11] — Details on cabin build progress and funding to date
• [09:18] — Kids’ situations and in-law apartment rental strategy
• [10:15] — The big reveal: Alex’s incoming $12,800/month pension
• [11:11] — Rental property portfolio, plan for 1031 exchange
• [13:02] — Shift in retirement contributions post-diagnosis
• [14:41] — Funding dilemma: HELOC vs. retirement accounts
• [16:17] — Specific advice: sell brokerage assets, pause retirement saving
• [18:18] — Safe cash reserves and contingency
• [19:54] — Estate documents and insurance in place
• [20:35] — Jill’s reassurance and encouragement
• [21:02] — Invitational humor about staying at the cabin
• [22:16] — Wrap-up message about supporting families facing health crises

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Takeaways

1. When facing a health crisis, financial planning must be flexible and compassionate—sometimes dreams should take priority when time is uncertain.
2. Leverage available low-cost borrowing (e.g., HELOC) before tapping retirement savings or tax-advantaged accounts, especially when major income sources (like a pension) are secured.
3. Maintain strong cash reserves to be prepared for the unexpected, even while pursuing major life goals.
4. Professional advice is valuable, but seeking a second opinion—especially in complex, emotional situations—can bring clarity and confidence.

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Tone: Empathetic, candid, and practical—Jill balances seriousness with warmth and humor throughout the conversation.
For listeners: This episode offers a compelling window into how real families weigh emotional fulfillment against long-term security and demonstrates how sound planning and thoughtful prioritization can empower people, even amid life’s toughest “curveballs.”

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hi, Jill and Mark. Thanks so much for having me on. I'm a relatively new listener, and I've learned a lot from your shows, especially on my drives to and from work. It. It's better than listening to the radio. I get to learn something every time I. I commute. But.

[A]

Well, thank you very much. We appreciate that. And welcome to the show.

[B]

Well, like many of us, life has thrown us some curveballs, especially regarding my wife's health, which has us reworking our financial future. And, you know, the reason for me reaching out has to do with getting your take on our financial readiness and to help expedite our retirement, hopefully and build our dream cabin, considering my wife's recent cancer diagnosis. Fortunately, her cancer growth is significantly slowed and current treatments are working. And so we're optimistic that she still has years ahead of us to enjoy retirement.

[A]

Okay, so how old are you guys?

[B]

We're 54.

[A]

Your poor wife poor you. So I'm sorry about that diagnosis. We hear a lot about these. So let's try to figure out where you stand and what the options are for you. So you're 54. You're both working full time?

[B]

We are.

[A]

Okay. How much do you earn, Alex?

[B]

Right now I'm earning about 18,000amonth, and she is earning about 9,000amonth.

[A]

And is she able to continue to work as a full time, as she's undergoing treatment, et cetera, or where is she in the process.

[B]

So she tried retiring last November because of her health, and it lasted for about six months. She said she's a tough girl. And she said, you know what this is, you know, online shopping is driving me crazy. I'm just gonna go back to work. And so the right job opportunity opened up. They asked her to do it, and she loves just helping her patients, and she loves what she does. And so she. She's trying to work go down to a halftime this summer, and so they've hired someone else, and it looks like that's gonna happen. So she'll be able to have more flexibility with her hours, and. Which is good considering her health and staying busy with building her cabin.

[A]

So is she going to go from 4,9000 to like 4,500? More or less. What should we mark her down for for income?

[B]

5,000.

[A]

5,000Amonth. Okay. Right now, how's your cash flow on that? You know, your combined income at current levels?

[B]

It's working out really well. Any excess that we have, we've been putting into this cabin that we're building. She's always wanted this mountain cabin, so we're putting it into that. But we are. Our expenses are about 15,000amonth. 3,000 is discretionary, 9,000 is essential, and about 3,000 for taxes. So total about 15.

[A]

Taxes, meaning property taxes, or it really is like 12,000amonth. Right. Because we're going to put taxes in the other way. Okay, so 12,000amonth. Okay. And tell us about how much you guys have saved. Not just. I want to talk about the cabin in a second, but like, retirement assets. What have you saved?

[B]

We've got about 1.2 million in retirement savings, of which about $800,000 in Roth, about $400,000 in traditional.

[A]

Oh, you're flipped. Very excellent. Did you convert or did you get on the Roth bandwagon early?

[B]

We got on as soon as we heard about it.

[A]

Oh, amazing. Okay, Anything else that you have saved?

[B]

We've got about $48,000 in brokerage, about $15,000 in savings, and really no other accounts? We've been trying to consolidate retirement accounts. She had a whole bunch of them, and we consolidated them down to the current ones.

[A]

Okay, fantastic. And are you managing that? Are you. You guys managing it yourselves? Do you work with somebody?

[B]

We have a financial planner that we've been working with for the past 15 years. He does a great job, talks to us regularly, as much as we want. So I think we're pretty happy with that.

[A]

And yet you're calling us. You Just want another set of on this. You're the best. I don't know about that. Yes. I'm on the hook for one conversation. Then if I steer you the wrong way, you don't come back and yell at me.

[B]

I've got your email address.

[A]

That's true. I know where you live. All right, so you guys own a home in addition to the cabin?

[B]

Yes. Our primary home's worth about 780,000.

[A]

Is there a mortgage remaining on it?

[B]

There is about 375k left at a 3.39 interest rate.

[A]

Okay. And building this cabin. Now let us get into the meat of the question. So right now, how much do you have sunk into the mountain cabin?

[B]

We've got about 400,000 into it. The property's worth about 70,000.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And it's a little more than halfway done. We used a $300,000 mutual fund that we've been building up over the years to help start funding this. And so we used that up last year. I've got a $250,000 HELOC at 4% currently.

[A]

Hold on a second. The $250,000 HELOC is on your against the mountain cabin or against the house?

[B]

Against the house. The primary.

[A]

The primary. So there's a 250k HELOC. Have you pulled any of it down?

[B]

We've got 23,000 pulled out of it so far, and we're gonna need about another 250,000, we think, to finish the cabin.

[A]

Okay. Oh, I forgot to ask you, do you have kids?

[B]

We do. We have got two boys. One that is 27 and fully launched. The other is 23 years old and just graduated, but he's still trying to. He's got a job, but he wants to get a job that's aligned with his degree. So he rents our in law apartment and is on our health insurance. So not quite fully launched yet.

[A]

Ah, you have an in law apartment as part of the house, correct?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Once your son is flying the coop, how much rent will that bring in? Or does someone else have to come in, like an in law?

[B]

Well, he is actually paying rent because.

[A]

Oh, good.

[B]

We're trying to teach him that there's no free rides. And so if he moves out, when he moves out, we think we'll be able to get at least. At least a thousand a month.

[A]

Or for that apartment, will either you or your wife be entitled to a pension?

[B]

I am entitled to a pension which will actually start this fall.

[A]

What? That's amazing. Pension starts in the fall.

[B]

And It's a nice one, Jill.

[A]

Okay, I'm getting ready. I'm excited. You can see the mark reads the email, but I don't.

[B]

So now keep in mind it's been.

[A]

30 years coming, but okay, okay, I'm excited. My pen is poised to write down. This is what I wrote. Pension starts in fall. What is the amount?

[B]

12,800.

[A]

Stop it. I love it so much. This makes me so much happier. I have to be honest with you, Alex. You're telling me this whole story and I'm like, oh man, this is what I'm thinking. This is the back of my head. Oh God, I got to tell this guy and his wife who has cancer that you can't, you know, like it's going to be hard that now I feel like I can breathe on your behalf. That is a humongous relief, right?

[B]

It is. And we actually have some rental properties as well. Yes.

[A]

Oh, okay. So let's, let's move on a little bit here. So again we talked about, your expenses are basically $12,000 a month. So the pension, generally speaking, plus whatever rent you might get from the in law apartment kind of covered the basics, not, not rounding up for taxes. But once that pension starts, you're in just great shape. So now the next question is other, other properties. So there's rental properties. Tell us about those.

[B]

So we have two condos that we purchased about 25 years ago and they are paid off next month. And so we are planning to do a 1031 exchange where we can sell them out there this, this year and transition that to a rental property, purchase a rental property closer to where we live to help manage it and do a little bit of renovations and.

[A]

Fantastic. So for Everybody Listening, a 1031 exchange if you own rental property. If Alex and his wife just blew out these two properties, there would be a tax that's due. I imagine they've been owning them for, you know, decades now. And using a 1031 exchange allows you to sort of take the full value as long as you buy another piece of rental. Like kind rental property, not have to pay any taxes and kind of reset the clock a little bit. So how much is the total value of the two condos right now?

[B]

They're worth about $600,000 total.

[A]

Okay. And so you'll take that 600. You'll is there. And you said you own them free and clear. You'll buy a $600,000 or something. Like what are you going to do?

[B]

So we're thinking about rolling it over into a Rental property, a house that might need a little bit of work, and we kind of enjoy doing some renovations and then. And then renting that out. We hope to be able to rent it out for about $3,000 a month.

[A]

Amazing. So you will take on this task of not only building your mountain cabin, but taking on the task of, like, rolling these rental properties. But at the end of the day, the cash flow looks good. So really what we need to be looking at right now is how you feel about the cash required to finish the job. Right. So you said you need another 200,000. Alex, how much are you and your wife contributing to retirement right now?

[B]

Over the past couple years, since her cancer diagnosis, she's decided that she wants to just divert all of her funding toward the cabin instead of retirement.

[A]

I'm with her. I'm with her. I was exactly what I was going to say. How much are you putting away?

[B]

I'm putting away about $2,000 a month. Into Roth.

[A]

Into a Roth. And for you, do you have a match in your organization?

[B]

No, but I. If I did, I would definitely max that out first.

[A]

I kind of still want you to put some money away. How's your health? How's, like, your longevity? Like what. What do I have to look at in your future?

[B]

Well, in my family, it's pretty good. My grandparents have lived into their mid-90s. My mom's very healthy. My dad's not very healthy right now. But I'm anticipating, you know, mid-80s, late-80s for me and for my wife. You know, she's beat the odds thus far, and we're very hopeful that she'll continue to beat the odds for years to come, but we'll see.

[A]

So is your game plan to finish the cabin by pulling down the home equity loan or just funding this out of cash flow? Where are you? What do you think?

[B]

Well, that's the big question right now. With some of the expenses that are coming up for drilling well and things like that, they're going to be way more than what we can cash flow. And so she is eager to tap into her traditional or Roth IRA account to, To. To help offset that. I've been trying to convince her that HELOC is the way to go, especially since the rate is at 4% right now and then just paying it off after that over the next few years.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not, like, psyched about her burning her accessible assets right this minute. Right. I don't know. I don't love putting them taking the money out. Mark, what do you think? I Don't like tapping her assets at this moment. Alex, how long do you want to keep working?

[B]

I want to keep working probably for the next eight or nine years.

[A]

I mean, I would almost pull back on his. I would just hit the pause button.

[B]

Knowing that that pension's there.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, the 2000amonth. You might want to just say, why don't. Okay, let's say you have a big amount of money that is due. Like you say, Jill, I need 50 grand right this second. Right. Maybe you do. I don't know what the number is, but I'm inclined to not have you contribute to retirement for a little bit. Finish the cabin, and then you can restart. So some combination of the money you were using for your ROTH and the HELOC together. Right. I think that would make sense. You know, if there's a moment where she has to actually retire and we have to invoke the rule of 55 and pull money out of her account and get things settled up, like that's something to consider. But I'd rather preserve that for the future than do it right now. I'd rather wait. And I think if you. Because you have this $12,800 a month pension and you're still working, I think you can swing this cabin. I don't think she should tap her assets just yet. Does that seem that. That's more in line with what you were thinking? You said you have $48,000 in the brokerage. What's in that account right now?

[B]

Just miscellaneous stocks.

[A]

I mean, what. That would be the first thing that I would get rid of and you don't, and you need more cash on hand. So the first thing I think I would do is get rid of your 48 grand of brokerage stuff and get rid of it and be done. And you might have to pay some tax on it, but big deal. And move that into cash right now you need more money on hand, and then maybe you can use some of that, leave that cash alone, but then pull back on the amount of money you're putting into retirement. That 2,000amonth, use the HELOC, some. Some way to sort of jointly come up with your 200,000, which it sounds like you're going to be able to do. And, you know, until then, I don't think that there's a lot more to consider, I guess, that, you know, obviously, if. If the 1031 exchange were not high on your list. Okay. Just as an idea, another thing that I might think about. Again, this really depends on, like, what's happening in your real lives is to blow those two things out, not do a 1031 exchange, have 600,000 less whatever tax you have to pay, finish your cabin, replenish your cash, have a brokerage house. Obviously you like doing this. Like, you know, the idea of buying something that might need some work, but if health considerations or something changes dramatically, I kind of would not look past that as an idea, which is we have $600,000 sitting in equity right now, and even if we had to pay some taxes, we could finish the cabin and beef up our brokerage account and have a simpler way to approach it. But that is really about like, it sounds like that's something you guys want to do together. And as long as you guys are like, willing to do that and roll up your sleeves, that's fine. But that is a simpler way to accomplish the conclusion of the mountain cabin.

[B]

Great. Yeah, I appreciate that analysis. And you know, we would have a bigger cash reserve right now, but we've just been pushing it all into the cabin to try to tell her to.

[A]

Slow her a tiny bit. I know that that's going to be absolutely impossible for her because she sounds like a little bit of a force of nature. But I do think it's. Yeah, I mean, I get it. I get all of it. And so I think that if you. If I were looking at someone who had spending of time, $12,000 a month, right? And we knew that, you know, I'd like you to have 100 grand in cash on, you know, just available as you are, you know, at least six, you know, something like that, maybe even 75 to $100,000 of cash just in case. And if, you know, of course, if she, if her health were to deteriorate, you didn't have the $5,000 a month, you know, that's the kind of thing I am always, by the way, constitutionally, I'm a person who always looks at the worst case scenario. But financial planning and, you know, my first job as a trader, that is like what you are trained to do. Like, where is there a problem? Right. Your wife is in health care. So tell her it's like triage. Like, what is the worst thing that's going on right now? How can we address it and come up with a game plan? So if we lost her salary because she just couldn't do what she wants to do and she doesn't feel good, and then how are we going to finish this mountain cabin? That's what I. And then that, you know, that's where it is, like, okay, maybe we tap the two condos. We don't do the 1031 exchange, and we have what we need. So just think about that a little bit. And I think otherwise everything does seem really good. I also presume because of this diagnosis that you have all of your estate documents in place.

[B]

We do, yeah. Last year, you know, I just made the appointment, buckled down and said, we're going to. We're going to get it done. And we sleep a little bit better at night knowing that we've got. Got that done.

[A]

That's good. Any life insurance that remains for either of you?

[B]

For her, I think she's got about $100,000. And for me, I've got close to 1 million.

[A]

A million. Okay. And that's all term life insurance for both of you. Term, Term. Great. I think you have a pretty damn good game plan. You have a pretty rotten diagnosis, so I'm sorry about that. But that said, it sounds like you've really put yourselves in a place where you can accomplish these goals that you want to accomplish. And so if you have any further questions as you are going through this, this mountain cabin and even reconsidering or thinking about the 1031 exchange, get back in touch with us. Do you feel okay? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That was very helpful. Thank you. And that helps us prioritize, I think, where we. Where we're going to pull the money from as things come up, expenses come up. So really appreciate your thoughts.

[A]

Well, listen, Mark and I like mountain cabins, so we're feeling good. How does our room look? What's happening for us? Like, I know that you and your wife have your goals, but, you know, the whole reason we do this show is that we have opportunities to visit people in great places. So how is our. How's the guest ensuite looking?

[B]

It'll be ready for you this summer, hopefully. And anytime we've got space for both you and Mark.

[A]

No, Theo, just you and me. Oh, that sounds like heaven. That does sound like heaven, man. All right, Alex, wishing you the best. And again, very sorry about your wife's diagnosis and please stay in touch with us. And if you are grappling with a life changing event, either good or bad, we really want to hear from you. That is what we do here. We are a community. We help each other and we are very focused on especially those who have been given, as Alex called, a curveball that is beyond a curveball. That's like being beamed in the head. So if you've got a question, you've Got a concern? Get in touch with us. Go to jillonmoney.com click the contact us button. Write us a note if you'd like to join us on the air live, just check the box. Mark will do everything else. Join Forget to sign up for the free weekly newsletter while you are on the website. And of course if you would not mind, just to lift someone up. Someone like Alex who is like the caretaker, someone who is the patient, like his wife may not need you to be like how are you? But may want to just you say hey, I'm thinking about you and something else like that's it. How's. How's the kids? Ask something. Ask them what they like and need. Don't guess at it and don't go away. Don't disappear on them. Lift someone up. Change your work. Change your wealth. Change your life. Thank you for listening. We will talk to you tomorrow. This year, give a gift that goes far beyond the moment. An Invest529 account. Whether it's a child, grandchild, or someone just starting out, you're helping them save for education. That can open doors for a lifetime. And invest 529 is a tax advantaged way to save for college, trade school, or even apprenticeship programs. It's flexible, easy to start, and you can contribute any amount, big or small. And because the money can grow tax free, it's a gift that really builds value over time. So instead of giving something that gets used up or set aside, give the gift that can change a Life. Start an Invest 529 account today. Go to invest529.com to get started. Hey, this is Richard Deitch, the host of the Sports Media Podcast. If you're interested in what's happening with all the places where you consume sports, the Sports Media Podcast has you covered.

[B]

I've been turning down interviews all week. Hoda Kapi reached out. Oprah George Stephanopoulos. So I said no. I was booked on the Dynamic podcast before the Taylor Swift phenomenon. I must live up to my responsibility.

[A]

Listen wherever you get your podcasts.