Need to Find Peace and Get Some Time Back

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Need to Find Peace and Get Some Time Back"
Jill on Money with Jill Schlesinger
Release Date: August 4, 2025

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Introduction

In the August 4th episode of Jill on Money with Jill Schlesinger, host Jill Schlesinger delves into the challenges of finding work-life balance and securing financial peace. The episode centers around a heartfelt conversation with Erica from Minnesota, who seeks guidance on navigating her career and retirement plans amidst growing personal exhaustion.

Caller Profile: Erica's Story

Timestamp: [02:10]

Erica, a 51-year-old divorced mother of three, reaches out to Jill expressing burnout after over 30 years in the workforce. With two adult children well-established and a 14-year-old still at home, Erica faces the daunting task of balancing her professional responsibilities with personal well-being.

Erica:
"I've been working, doing the grind for a long time, over 30 years and this past year has been the most challenging year. And I have had no flexibility, lost my balance in family, work, life, personal time and I'm really tired."
[02:10]

Financial Overview

Timestamp: [03:57] - [05:24]

Erica provides a comprehensive overview of her financial situation:

• Current Income: $105,000 annually plus an $1,800 monthly stipend for longevity in her education role.
• Retirement Contributions:
  • 7.5% towards a pension with district matching.
  • $1,800 annual contribution to a 403B, matched by her district.
  • Additional savings include $54,200 in a brokerage account and $125,000 in a Roth IRA.
• Education Savings: $39,000 in her state's 529 plan for her 14-year-old.

Navigating Retirement Options

Timestamp: [05:32] - [19:49]

Jill and her co-host Mark engage in a strategic discussion to help Erica explore her retirement options:

1. Current Pension Plan: Erica qualifies to retire at age 62 with 30 years of service, entitling her to $5,600 monthly. However, she seeks the flexibility to retire earlier or reduce her work hours to regain personal peace.

   Jill:
   "If you were to go half time... you could essentially live on what you earn without doing any more saving."
   [08:15]

2. Working Half-Time: Transitioning to a half-time role would reduce her salary to approximately $52,000 while maintaining her $1,800 stipend, totaling around $70,000 annually. This adjustment could provide Erica with the desired work-life balance without significantly compromising her financial stability.

   Jill:
   "You're just going to do your pension amount. Can you let yourself do that?"
   [08:50]

3. Employer Negotiation: Jill advises Erica on approaching her employer with a respectful and solution-oriented mindset. Emphasizing her long tenure and contributions, Erica can negotiate for reduced hours or an early retirement option without burning bridges.

   Jill:
   "I'm so happy to be back here. I'm so grateful for this opportunity. And then try to say, I just need to understand what my options are."
   [16:32]

4. Financial Adjustments: To preserve optionality, Jill recommends Erica pause additional retirement contributions beyond her pension and limit her 529 savings to ensure financial flexibility.

   Jill:
   "It's time to put yourself first... you can't do if you wanna preserve optionality."
   [17:42]

5. Emotional and Financial Stability: Emphasizing the importance of Erica's well-being, Jill encourages her to prioritize her mental health and personal happiness, which ultimately supports her financial decisions.

   Jill:
   "It's time to put yourself first. Can you do that?"
   [18:57]

Actionable Insights and Recommendations

Throughout the conversation, Jill and Mark offer Erica several actionable steps:

• Assess Pension and Social Security: Understanding the full benefits she is entitled to and how part-time work may affect these.
• Negotiation Strategy: Approaching her employer with a clear and respectful request for reduced hours or early retirement options.
• Financial Reevaluation: Temporarily halting non-essential savings to focus on immediate financial stability.
• Emotional Well-being: Prioritizing personal health and stress management to sustain long-term financial planning.

Notable Quotes

• Jill Schlesinger:
  "Put the oxygen mask on your face first."
  [17:42]
  Emphasizing the importance of self-care before addressing financial obligations.

• Erica:
  "I've been working, doing the grind for a long time... and I'm really tired."
  [02:10]
  Highlighting the emotional toll of prolonged work stress.

• Jill Schlesinger:
  "It's time to put yourself first."
  [17:42]
  Advising Erica to prioritize her well-being in financial decisions.

Conclusion

In this episode, Jill Schlesinger provides compassionate and pragmatic advice to Erica, illustrating the delicate balance between financial security and personal well-being. By exploring flexible retirement options and encouraging self-prioritization, Jill offers a pathway for listeners facing similar struggles to regain control over their work-life balance and achieve financial peace.

For more personalized advice and resources, visit jillonmoney.com and explore the wealth of free content available.

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Transcript

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[Jill Schlesinger]

Welcome to the Jill on Money show. It's Monday, August 4th and we are here trying to help you make better or sometimes just less bad financial decisions. If you need a little guidance, if you need a little assistance, cheerleading, mentoring, a little, you know, sometimes you need a little kick in the tush, but not a serious one. We're here to help. We are not here to judge or criticize. We're just here to help. If that feels like something that is good for you and the situation you're in, get in touch with us. Go to jillonmoney.com, click the contact Us button, write us that note. And if you'd like to join us live, check the box. That's all you need to do. While you're on the website, don't forget to sign up for the free weekly newsletter and check out all the free stuff that lives on the website. The there is a blog, there's radio show, there are videos, there's resources. It's all there. Jillonmoney.com okay. Today we are joined by Erica, who's on the line in Minnesota. Hello Erica, what can we do for you today?

[Erica]

Hi Jill, thanks for taking my call. Hi Mark. I've been working, doing the grind for a long time, over 30 years and this past year has been the most challenging year. And I have had no flexibility, lost my balance in family, work, life, personal time and I'm really tired.

[Jill Schlesinger]

I hear you man. I'm with you sister. Oh my gosh. You know, when you go through that period of time, I think in a long career we all go through those periods, right? Like, oh, this is going to be a bad stretch, right it does seem harder as you get older to absorb those stretches. Or maybe those stretches are getting longer, you know, and so I get that. Erica, how old are you?

[Erica]

I'm 51.

[Jill Schlesinger]

And you said you're married.

[Erica]

I'm divorced.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay. Kids?

[Erica]

Three.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Three. How old are they?

[Erica]

32. 30 and, and then a 14 year old still at home with me.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Something interesting happened. I won't go into it. On this program. 30 and 32 are on. Are on their own doing. Okay?

[Erica]

They are. They're both married and thriving.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, great. So the 14 year old is home with you. Obviously, if you had a 30 and a 32 year old, you know the drill here. So are you thinking about College for the 14 year old?

[Erica]

Yes.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Money saved already for that one?

[Erica]

Yes. I have about 39,000 for the 14 year old.

[Jill Schlesinger]

And is that in a 529 plan or somewhere else?

[Erica]

It's in my state's 529.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, great. So you've been working a long time. You're fried. How much are you earning right now?

[Erica]

Well, it's been. It's 105,000 a year and with an 1800 stipend for longevity.

[Jill Schlesinger]

What does that mean, A stipend? What does that mean?

[Erica]

It means that I'm in education, so I have my steps and lanes. And then once I hit 25 years or more, then that's considered longevity in the district. And I get a small stipend that is paid out monthly.

[Jill Schlesinger]

And that's just plain old taxable income, right?

[Erica]

Correct.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, so $1,800 a month stipend, $105 a year. Are you making retirement contributions on the only the 105 or also the stipend?

[Erica]

Only the $105,000.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, so how much do you put aside?

[Erica]

I have a pension. And so.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Hello. Do you see how I went? Ooh, okay, good.

[Erica]

It's 7.5% towards the pension. And then my district matches it and I have a 403B, that's $1,800 a year. And I match that.

[Jill Schlesinger]

And how much is in the 403 right now?

[Erica]

The 403B? Well, I have them lumped here in my writing here. Okay.542 total and 125,000 in a Roth IRA, and then the rest is in the 403B.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Got it. What is your actual desire here? What is it that we can help you with? What is the question we're trying to answ?

[Erica]

I am. I am so fried. I cannot retire with full health benefits until 62, and I have just been exploring, can I have a reduction in my work? Can I go half time? Can I really retire if I want to at 55? If I'm so tired, I need just a few more years to have 30 years total to go towards the pension benefits so I can retire at 62. So really I like to have optionality so that I can find that balance and peace.

[Jill Schlesinger]

That's so hard. So to get optionality, you at age 51, you do have to grind out four more years. Is that the deal?

[Erica]

So our district has this, the pension has this really nice deal where I can retire at age 62 as long as I have 30 years of service. But I like to have the option to retire before 62 if I wish, or go halftime.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, but how many, when do you get to 30 years of service? I guess is what I'm asking.

[Erica]

In three years.

[Jill Schlesinger]

In three years. Okay, so we have three more years. How much money do you need to live on?

[Erica]

It's $5,000 a month. That's with my mortgage. But at age 62, I would be done with my mortgage.

[Jill Schlesinger]

You work for three more years. Okay. Just full time work. Okay. And if that were the case, you work for three more years. Now you're 54 years old, you've got your 30 years of service, you wait to actually claim your pension at age 62. Do you know what that amount would be at age 62?

[Erica]

Yes, it would be 5,600amonth.

[Jill Schlesinger]

So we know that you have some money that, you know, you got this half a million dollars that's already saved up in some way, shape or form, you'll be able to live on it or maybe work a little bit of magic in terms of your maybe doing halftime or what have you. But that seems to be like very doable.

[Mark]

Right.

[Jill Schlesinger]

If you were to go half time, if that were a possibility, and you say, all right, at age 51, will the halftime work count towards the pension for that, maximizing those 30 years?

[Erica]

Yes, it would.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, so if you were to work half time and instead of 105,000, you would have 50,000 or let's call it 52,000.

[Mark]

Right.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Plus the 21,000 from the stipend.

[Mark]

Right?

[Jill Schlesinger]

You would still get the stipend.

[Erica]

Yes. 1,800, right?

[Jill Schlesinger]

1,800Amonth though, right?

[Erica]

Correct.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, so that's 21 grand, let's say that you made with the stipend about $70,000. Okay. And you just put in whatever the minimum is to the pension, nothing else, no other Saving, then you could essentially live on what you earn without doing any more saving. How would you feel about that? There would be no extra saving for the 529 plan. There would be no, like, that's it. You're just going to do your pension amount. That's that, no extra savings. Can you let yourself do that? Because I think it works if you did that. It's just a question of whether they'll allow it at the system level and whether you can deal with the fact that you wouldn't be putting away more money.

[Erica]

That would be something that I, I would be willing to do it if I can, if it doesn't jeopardize my savings for the 529, which is a priority of mine. And I can still just float.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Yeah, you can actually live instead of just work.

[Mark]

Right.

[Jill Schlesinger]

You are not, you're not. You can now be like, okay, I can do this. Have you talked to them about going halftime or not?

[Erica]

I haven't. This is why I'm calling is because I'm looking into this before I approach them and just, just broaching them with the, with the possibility. If I am going to be asking them, I like to know that I'm okay on my end.

[Jill Schlesinger]

How much money are you putting into the 529?

[Erica]

Right now it's $300 a month.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Do you have money saved in the bank, just like a boring bank account kind of thing?

[Erica]

Yeah, I've, I usually keep about five to six thousand dollars in a checking account and then I have a five thousand dollars in the, in an HYSA Ideal Savings Account and then about 50 grand in brokerage.

[Jill Schlesinger]

And how did you get that 50 grand in the brokerage? Just because you're making this money and you're throwing money in there, Is that how it's going for you?

[Erica]

Yeah. Squirreling it away.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, so. And you have a job now. So, like, here's what I think. I think there's two options that look smart to me as a possibility. First of all, you've been at this. Have you been at the same place for a long time?

[Erica]

Yes, it was. There have, has been some transitions. So the job that I was at last year that just burned me out was also in the same field but in a leadership position and much higher salary. And so this one is a tremendous reduction in salary. When I'm going back to this position, I've transitioned out of this other position into this one where the salary is going to be significantly lower.

[Jill Schlesinger]

And is that the, is the 105,000. The lower salary or the higher salary.

[Erica]

That is the lower salary.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Okay, so we don't even know that maybe even going down this level, would that be, I mean, is it fair to say that you may actually be able to be okay in that place at that hundred five thousand level? Or do you think it's like last year was so bad in that leadership role that even at this hundred five thousand dollars a year level, you're just still so fried?

[Erica]

Well, I'm fried. I was fried in this position and that is the reason I went to this other position.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Oh, you went from the frying pan to the fire. Get it? Frying, frying. Okay. All right, here's what I'm thinking, Mark, you can weigh in here. I think that the there, there are sort of the generalized options that I see are the following. You go in and you say to them, that leadership thing almost killed me. I got a 14 year old at home. I got to take care of this kid and I got to take care of myself. What I'm seeking from you district or you know, employer is the options that you see in front of me. Here's what I think and that's what I want you to do. I want you to say to them, like, don't go in saying like, I would quit tomorrow if I could because you suck. Like, no, don't do that. But what you could do is say, I really, you've been good to me. It's been a long run. And what I really would like to do is figure out how we can kind of give me an off ramp. But I want to be responsible to you, the organization.

[Mark]

Right.

[Jill Schlesinger]

So I think what you can say is, I'm thinking that if I were to go half time or whatever, three fifths time, and I were to do that, I think I could last here a much longer time. You don't have to lock yourself in. You're not signing a contract. You could just say, I think I could last longer. Which is probably true, by the way. All right, so like, if you think about it, chances are that your kid is young. So we have to get this kid through college. So 14 years old. So in 10 years the kid's basically done, or really eight years. But you can say to them, I really believe that I could last longer if I could reduce my time in that world. If I were to go three fifths or half time, what would that do to my pension? How would that affect my, my years of service and the pension amount? And I'm just wondering, so I could look at it and really think about it. And then alternatively, what would happen if I worked for three or four more years, let's say three, and then be very clear about what the dollar amounts are, and then you should get back in touch with us. I think for you, it is important to feel like you have agency right now because you sound beaten down. Even if you had a reduced pension, even if that retirement, that $5,600 a month were a smaller amount, let's say that by doing the halftime thing, that the amount would drop down to $4,000 a month, not 5,600. So what? So what? You will be entitled to Social Security. You do have money saved, and you should be fine. I don't think that that's an issue. I think the issue is really, I would prefer that you just stop putting money into the 529, stop putting money into retirement beyond your pension and sit still a little bit and don't put the pressure on yourself. Really. It's just not that it's not worth it right now. We have to settle you in. We have to get you kind of stabilized emotionally, financially. And let's see, is your kid going to be the kind of kid who's going to go to a private school or a public school, you think?

[Erica]

I think she. She would definitely go to a public school. We have a really good university here. And she would be following in her middle sister's footsteps.

[Jill Schlesinger]

Great. And do you have an ex that will help you with education, or are you on your own for this?

[Erica]

He's doing child support, but I think when she turns 18, he's more than happy to just back off.

[Jill Schlesinger]

You know, Funny how that is. I never heard. Mark, I just. Would you like to defend your. Your. Your sex here? I never heard of a woman say, you know what? I'm just gonna back off on my support of my child. I've heard that from men before. I've never heard that from a woman. Just saying. Mark, you want to speak up for the men of the world or not?

[Mark]

I would never, ever think of doing such a thing.

[Jill Schlesinger]

I know, but. But it is true. That's. We have heard that before. Mark, what do you think about our idea for Erica to get her sanity back?

[Mark]

Yeah, I think the conversations have to be had because, you know, just based on the. The tone that I'm hearing, she's not making it until 62.

[Jill Schlesinger]

No, it's not gonna be. You're not grinding out 51 to age 62. That's not happening. So the real op. The real Question is how? Like, what is the option? The option has to be that when you talk to them, that you're really upfront, you know, not say, I can't bear it. This sucks, and I hate you. But really about, like, this is how I feel. I want to honor my tenure here. I want to do that. But I do not see a world in which I'm going to be able to do exactly what I'm doing until age 62. They know that last year was tough on you because you've already moved back to this other position, right?

[Erica]

Well, it's a separate school district, so it's a little complicated, but it would just be me. And the leadership position that I took on last year was with a different school district. So this is a return to my old employer.

[Mark]

All right.

[Jill Schlesinger]

So you can even say to them, I'm so happy to be back here. I'm so grateful for this opportunity. And then try to say, I just need to understand what my options are. I don't think they'll begrudge you that. Do you. Do you sense that they would begrudge you that?

[Erica]

I don't know. I don't know. And this has not been done, not by anybody else that I. That I know of. But I'm willing to give it a try. Mike. I have a question for you, Joe.

[Shopify]

Sure.

[Erica]

You suggested just backing off on contributions and just letting the pension just kind of grow and do its thing. But the rest of it, the eighteen hundred dollars of the 403, if I contribute that amount, the district matches it. Should I back off on that, too?

[Jill Schlesinger]

I just feel like if you can get the match, you should take the match. But I just want you to have a tiny bit of anything beyond the match. I would not do okay in the.

[Erica]

Small amount, and I only say spawn. I'm really. I'm grateful for what I have over the years. I have shared the small amounts that I could make with children and with family.

[Jill Schlesinger]

No, you're done. You got to back off on that right now. Mm. So that's gonna be Aunt Jill giving you a little bit of tough love on that that you can't do if you wanna preserve optionality. It's time for Erica to put Erica first. And I know that that sounds very crass, but I am hearing in your voice real exhaustion, and I pay attention to that. I work with a lot of people like you, Erica. I know what that sounds like. I've heard from people on this program, Mark, and I heard this so much during the pandemic. We would hear from, from educators. They were fried. That was it. They were absolutely fried. And we really listened to those voices. And I think that if you want to know, like what the options are, then you have to create a lot of those options for yourself. And that is the old, put the oxygen mask on your face first. Come back to us, let us know how it goes and we'll craft a plan, we'll look at different options for you. But right now, the whole sharing of the wealth, you've done a great job, you've socked away a lot of money, but it is time to put yourself first. Can you do that?

[Erica]

I would really give, I'll give it a good crack. Really.

[Jill Schlesinger]

You should, because it's, you know, you gotta stick around here, girl. You gotta be there for the 14 year old. Everyone else is gonna fall in line. You already said the 30 and the 32 year old are in good shape. And so you've done your job. You got to be there fully for this kid. You got to be there fully for yourself. Okay, okay, deep breath. All right, we're going to let you go. Anything else? Did you have your. All your estate documents done? I can't lose you just now. I can't let you off the hook yet. Are you done with the estate stuff?

[Erica]

I do, I do. I've been exploring. I've been looking into increasing my life and insurance, but the estate has been done just because of this big gap that you alluded to with the age. Age differences refers to my 14 year old.

[Jill Schlesinger]

All right, well, let's get, get. Make sure all the ducks are in the road. Don't buy any life insurance till we talk next because I want to make sure you're buying the right kind and doing what you need. All right, you've got homework. Let's move forward slowly but surely. So if you are like Erica and you are fried and you have worked your whole life and you're just asked to do more and more and more and more, and maybe it is time for you to figure out what the options are. Mark and I are here to help you out. All you need to do is go to jillonmoney.com, click the contact us button, write us a note, and if you want to join us live, check that little box. Mark will do everything else while you're on the website. Check out all of our content that lives there, including our free weekly newsletter you must sign up for that comes out every Saturday, single Friday. Just be clear that whatever you're doing on that website, that contact us button is always with you, so it follows you wherever you go. So it's always there. We're always here for you. Okay? Please try to put your hands metaphorically on someone's back. Today it's Erica's back. We're going to do that as a community, put our arms around Erica virtually and give her the energy she needs to navigate this next chapter. Change your work, change your wealth, change your life. Thanks for listening. We'll talk to you tomorrow.

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[Lena Dunham]

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[Alyssa Bennett]

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