Planning Around a Diagnosis

Summary

Podcast Summary: Planning Around a Diagnosis

Jill on Money with Jill Schlesinger
Date: December 3, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Jill Schlesinger takes a listener call from Wes, who is navigating the financial challenges of supporting his mother-in-law recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, while also balancing his own family’s long-term needs. Jill guides Wes through practical financial planning in the context of caregiving, uncovering how an unexpected diagnosis can dramatically reshape retirement and life priorities.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: Family and Financial Situation

• Wes’s Context: Wes, calling from the Midwest, planned for possible early retirement but has recently shifted priorities due to his mother-in-law's Alzheimer's diagnosis.
  • Mother-in-law's Needs: Currently living independently, but family is arranging for her to move into a facility with 24-hour staff and memory care.
  • Facility Costs: Starts around $50,000/year, escalating to $75,000/year as services increase.
  • Mother-in-law's Resources: $20,000 in the bank, $20,000/year from Social Security, minimal savings.

Quote at 02:34:

"She did some pricing on that and it starts around $50,000 a year and then it goes up... She only has Social Security income and hardly anything in savings, so she's going to need some help with this." – Wes (B)

2. Financial Support Analysis

• Family Support: Wes’s wife and her sister help, but Wes’s household will assume the larger financial share due to their more stable finances. The projected split is:
  • Social Security: $20,000
  • Sister’s contribution: $10,000
  • Wes’s family: $20,000 (totaling $50,000 for care)
• Both Wes and wife are working: Wes (58) earns $80,000; wife (51) earns $130,000.
• Two children: In middle and high school. $20,000 saved for each in 529 education accounts.

3. Deep Dive Into Assets and Liabilities

• Retirement Contributions: Both are maxing out contributions (including catch-up).
• Emergency Fund: $100,000 in cash.
• Retirement Accounts & Brokerage:
  • Wes: $273,000 inherited IRA, $112,000 traditional IRA, $20,000 Roth, $156,000 401(k), $107,000 in brokerage.
  • Wife: $80,000 401(k), $24,000 Roth IRA.
• No pension eligibility, no debt (mortgage and loans paid off).
• House is valued at $200,000.

4. Jill’s Advice & Action Steps

• Adjusting Cash Flow: Jill recommends reducing or suspending non-essential contributions (529 plans, catch-up retirement contributions, brokerage) to redirect cash flow towards care expenses.
• Emergency Reserve: Prioritize channeling bonuses and unallocated income into the emergency fund.
• Time Tracking: For the initial 90 days of the new care arrangement, meticulously track spending to adjust projections accordingly.
• Maintaining Flexibility:
  • Use mother-in-law’s Social Security and cash first.
  • Avoid tapping into inherited IRA if possible.
• Impact on Retirement: Plan for the possibility of having to work longer, but reinforce that the family’s financial foundation is sound.

Quote at 07:16:

"Something's going to have to give... the give is going to be how much you're putting away into your 529 plans and... your brokerage because the excess cash flow... is going to be necessary to funnel that for your mother-in-law." – Jill (A)

Quote at 09:12:

"All in the emergency reserve fund. Build that up. Let's say that mom goes into a facility starting in, I'm going to just say January. I really want you guys to just for 90 days to track where the money's going and see how you're doing." – Jill (A)

5. Estate Planning and Insurance

• Estate Planning:
  • Drafts of estate plans exist but remain unsigned. Wes’s wife is an attorney but too busy to finalize them.
    • Jill emphasizes urgency: “Get that done. Also, do you have life insurance, the two of you?” (10:52)
• Life Insurance:
  • Adequate policies now in place, recently boosted through Policygenius.

Quotes:

• "The cobbler's kids got no shoes... Get that done." – Jill (11:27)
• "I want a will. I want a durable power of attorney, and I want a health care proxy. Please do that." – Jill (11:52)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Perspective on mortgage paydown:

"Sometimes when I say to you, don't be so quick to pay down a mortgage, this is one of those weird situations where... you could have had the access to cash. These are the kinds of situations where you say, 'Ah, you know what? Actually, I wish I had that money back that I paid the mortgage down with.'" – Jill (10:04)

• Family realism:

"The alternative is you say, all right, Mom's going to… live in with us and we're gonna start getting care in the house—which is like, that's invasive. And... at some point… it puts a tremendous burden on the family. And you got young kids, so you gotta still deal with that. So I think you're gonna be okay." – Jill (07:39)

• Reassurance:

“It’s a rotten situation, man. I’m sorry.” – Jill (09:01)

• Funny moment on estate planning:

“We’ve had a draft together for at least five years now.” – Wes (11:04)
“What?” – Jill (11:05)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:04] – Wes introduces family’s situation and diagnosis
• [04:32] – Discussion of cost split and relative financial strength
• [05:39] – Full outline of Wes’s assets and retirement planning
• [07:16] – Jill's initial advice on what needs to ‘give’ in their budget
• [09:12] – Jill’s recommendation for an emergency reserve and 90-day spending check
• [10:49] – Extended advice on working longer and the impact of past financial decisions
• [10:57] – Estate planning procrastination and the importance of getting it done

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Takeaways & Final Thoughts

• Life-altering diagnoses necessitate swift and sometimes uncomfortable shifts in financial priorities.
• Flexibility, clear-eyed tracking, and willingness to interrupt or suspend savings goals (temporarily) can keep family finances stable.
• Estate planning and adequate insurance are absolutely critical—no matter how busy.
• Jill’s signature blend of empathy and directness helps listeners see complexity with clarity—and provides comfort in tough choices.

If you have your own financial conundrum, visit jillonmoney.com and click "Contact Us" to be featured on a future episode.

Transcript

[A]

This message comes from Jill on Money sponsor, Charles Schwab. Independent financial advisors focus on building a relationship with you that goes beyond your portfolio. As fiduciaries, they must act in your best interest always. The relationship they have with you will be based on transparency and trust, and they're committed to bringing you advice that fits your values. That's why Schwab is proud to support them. Visit find your independent advisor.com Today's episode is supported by what Should I Do with My Money? An original podcast from Morgan Stanley. And like Jill on Money, this podcast makes understanding money and getting advice about what to do with it less intimidating. You'll hear candid conversations from people just like you who have money questions just like yours. They talk to experienced financial advisors about their goals, worries and dreams, asking questions like, can you. Can I retire early? Like really early? How do I leave a financial legacy for my special needs child? Menopause is making me feel wacky and it's shifting how I think about my money. Help. The conversations can get emotional, but they're always practical. Find what should I do with my Money? On your preferred podcast player and feel empowered and supported when it comes to managing your life and finances. Welcome to the Jill on Money show. It's Wednesday, December and we are here trying to help you make better and sometimes just less bad or less emotional financial decisions. We understand that so many of these issues really are emotional and sometimes you kind of get in your head about it. Sometimes your head and your heart are trying to fight it out. Let us help you along the way, wherever you want to go. Mark and I are both certified financial planners and we really enjoy getting to know you for this brief time we have you on the air and also helping you out. So just, just go to the website jillonmoney.com and click the contact us button, write us a note and get on the air with us. That's what Wes did and Wes joins us from the Midwest.

[B]

Hi Jill. Hi Mark. I'm very excited to be here. Beginning of this year I was feeling pretty good looking at my retirement accounts thinking hey, maybe I could retire early. But we realized that we're going to need to help my mother in law out. Last year she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and she's been living in an apartment independently. But my wife wants her to move into a place that has more like 24 hour staff and maybe with a path to memory care.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so she did some pricing on that and it starts around $50,000 a year and then it goes up to, you know, $75,000 a year as you add services. She only has Social Security income and hardly anything in savings, so she's going to need some help with this.

[A]

Okay, so right now she's living independently and who's helping her? I mean, that's quite a lift.

[B]

Yeah, my wife and her sister help her get groceries and do errands.

[A]

When are we thinking the timing of this?

[B]

They're thinking this year, but this year is starting to come to a close, so it's going to be soon.

[A]

Okay, and how much? You said she doesn't have that much money. So how much money is in the bank?

[B]

She's got about 20,000 in the bank and gets about $20,000 a year in Social Security.

[A]

Have you guys explored Medicaid? Because it was a system that was essentially created for people like your mother in law. So have you, have you started poking around in there?

[B]

I think my wife looked at that and they were not happy with the facilities that they could get with Medicaid.

[A]

I know, that's the thing. How old is your mom? The mom in law?

[B]

She's 83.

[A]

So what you guys are thinking is that take Social Security, there's 20 grand, and now who's going to make up that $30,000 difference? It's going to be your wife and siblings. And are you guys able to do such a thing?

[B]

Yeah, I think so. We're in a pretty good spot right now. I'm just wondering how it's going to impact our retirement plans.

[A]

Okay, so let's talk a little bit. So, and would this be split between your family and another or are you shouldering the entire burden?

[B]

I think my wife's sister can help out, but they're not in as good a place because they have kids in college and they have their own expenses. So we would take a larger share.

[A]

What is the share that you would take in your mind? What's your guess?

[B]

I'm picturing if we have $20,000 coming from Social Security and the sister puts in 10 and we put in $20,000, we get to $50,000.

[A]

Okay, so let's do that for the moment. Let's talk about you guys. How old are you and your wife?

[B]

I'm 58. My wife's 51.

[A]

And are you both working?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. How much do you earn?

[B]

I make $80,000 a year and my wife makes $130,000 a year.

[A]

Do you guys have children?

[B]

Yes, we have two sons. One's in middle school and one's in high school.

[A]

Do you have money saved for their education?

[B]

We've had a $529,000 started for them. It's up to about $20,000 in each account.

[A]

Are you both contributing to retirement accounts through work?

[B]

Yes, we're able to max out for the past few years.

[A]

Okay. So that's awesome. Are you also making the contribution that catches up that extra money you can put in?

[B]

Yeah, we're doing the catch up as well.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Luckily for me, or unluckily, I inherited some money about five years ago. So we were able to pay off our house loan and our student loans. And then that also allowed us to do some extra saving like this.

[A]

Great. Okay, so you've got no debt, essentially.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Okay. What is your house worth?

[B]

About 200,000. Okay.

[A]

And you're going to stay there?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Okay. How much money is in each of your retirement accounts?

[B]

Here's where it gets a little complicated. Oh, gosh.

[A]

It wasn't complicated already. This was already complicated, man.

[B]

Yeah. I have inherited an IRA.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

About $820,000 in it right now because I was the sole beneficiary of that. I share it with a brother and a sister, so I really own about a third of that.

[A]

Okay. And when did this person die?

[B]

In 2017. So it's a stretch.

[A]

Oh, so you got the stretch. Okay, so there's 273 grand is what I'm looking at. Okay, keep going.

[B]

I have $112,000 in a traditional IRA, $20,000 in a Roth. This year we started a brokerage account. We've got about 107,000 in that, and then I have about 156,000 in a 401k. My wife has about 80,000 in a 401k and about 24 in a Roth IRA.

[A]

Will either of you be entitled to a pension?

[B]

No.

[A]

Wrong answer. Let's start over. Will either. I'm just kidding. I wish.

[B]

Oh, and then we have emergency fund of about a hundred thousand in the bank.

[A]

That's great. Something's going to have to give. Okay. And my guess is that the give is going to be how much you're putting away into your 529 plans and how much you're putting away into just your brokerage because the excess cash flow is going to. It's going to be necessary to funnel that for your mother in law. I also think you're going to have to work longer. I mean, also, thank God your wife is a bigger earner and she's going to have to work longer also. And frankly, what I'M guessing for her at this point is like once her mom is safe in a facility, she, she can go to work. But like the alternative is you say, all right, mom's gonna, we're gonna bring mom to live in with us and we're gonna start getting care in the house, which is like, that's invasive. And also at some point, I know there are a lot of families that do this, but like some of this stuff is out of our expertise and you really. It puts a tremendous burden on the family. And you got young kids, you know, so you gotta still deal with that. So I think you're gonna be okay. If you were jammed up for some reason, you could pull some of the money out of the inherited ira, I'd rather you not. I think that you can cash flow this. I just think you're not going to be able to contribute as much money into the 529, just even for now. What I would probably do is stop doing the catch up contribution for your retirement accounts. I wouldn't do the catch up. I'd start pushing that money into the emergency reserve because you're going to need to spend it. And I would then start to use your excess cash flow and keep track of your money and see how it goes. Maybe you can just simply cash flow this. It may be that that is possible. Really?

[B]

Yeah. I forgot to tell you that we do get bonuses, so I haven't figured out exactly what they are. My wife might receive about 15,000 in bonuses and I might get a couple thousand. So there's some extra cash to work with as well.

[A]

Yeah. And in that case, all in the emergency reserve fund. Build that up. Let's say that mom goes into a facility starting in, I'm going to just say January. I really want you guys to just for 90 days to track where the money's going and see how you're doing. Maybe you're going to be doing better. Maybe you really don't spend any money. And maybe you say, well, you know what, actually I can do the catch up contribution. Or you know what, instead of the catch up contribution, you know what I want to do? I want to throw some money in the 529 plan. You know, at least in the beginning the ramp up is kind of good because you know, she does have Social Security use that, spend her money down. The money that's in the bank, just spend it down. There's actually no reason for her to keep that money. And then you go from there one day at a time. It's a It's a rotten situation, man. I'm sorry.

[B]

It sounds like we'll make it.

[A]

I think you will. You know, I just want to say one thing. Even though you've already spent, you know you've already paid down your debt, all that stuff. But for other people listening, sometimes when I say to you, don't be so quick to pay down a mortgage, this is one of those weird situations where I kind of wish you hadn't paid down the mortgage. Like the unexpected, strange cash flow pressure that comes up where you could have had the access to cash. These are the kinds of situations where you say, ah, you know what? Actually, I wish I had that money back that I paid the mortgage down with. So you've done it, and you're in a situation, and I think you're going to be fine. I really do. You may have to work a little longer, but you like what you do.

[B]

Yeah, I think we're both happy doing what we do.

[A]

Excellent. Do you guys have your own estate planning completed?

[B]

That's where I'm working on it. Oh, we've got it. We've had a draft together for at least five years now.

[A]

What?

[B]

Never been finalized.

[A]

Wait a second. What's like. You have the draft, right? So tell me what's going on that prevents you from just getting it done?

[B]

It's in my wife's court.

[A]

What does that mean?

[B]

She's an attorney. Oh. I'm waiting for her to finish it, but she's so busy working that there's no time for dealing with personal stuff.

[A]

Okay, yeah, the cobblers, kids got no shoes, that kind of thing. Get that done. Also, do you have life insurance, the two of you?

[B]

Yes, I went to Policygenius and got more because we didn't have enough.

[A]

Oh, look at that. Policygenius, sponsor of the pod, Full disclosure. Good job. I really want that estate stuff done. This is for your wife. Make up a name for her.

[B]

Wheezy.

[A]

Wheezy. Pay attention to this. You need to get these documents done. Quit yourself. First, put that oxygen mask on. I want a will. I want a durable power of attorney, and I want a health care proxy. Please do that. If you've got something going on and you need to think it through, plot it out, whatever it is. Doesn't matter whether it's buying a house, selling a house, retirement, funding a kid's college education, maybe you're starting your family. We can help you prioritize wherever you are. Just go to jillonmoney.com, click the contact us button, and write us a note if you'd like to join us live, just check the box. Mark will do everything else. You can subscribe to us on the Odyssey app or wherever you find your favorite podcast. Please leave us a rating and review wherever you listen and of course put your hands metaphorically on someone's back. Someone needs a boost, I'm telling you, they need it from you. You're going to feel great for doing it. Change your work, change your wealth, change your life. Thanks for listening. We'll talk to you tomorrow. You know how the holidays can sneak up on you. Suddenly you're hosting a dinner or bringing a dish to a friend's party and you're scrambling. This year I decided to make my life easier and head straight to Whole Foods Market and honestly, it's my new holiday headquarters. Whether you're looking for show stopping mains like their bone and spiral cut ham or or heat and eat sides from the prepared foods department that are seriously easy and delicious, Whole Foods Market has you covered. I stocked my pantry with all the 365 favorites too. Creamy mushroom soup, traditional stuffing and even French style green beans. Perfect for classic holiday meals without breaking the bank. And don't even get me started on desserts. The holiday rum cake Buche de Noel. Yes please. Plus it's easy to grab something thoughtful for the host. Cheeses and crackers, seasonal candles, cookie gift boxes or even something from the floral department to make make their table feel extra festive. You can order online for pickup or delivery in select zip codes, which is a total lifesaver. Shop for everything you need at Whole Foods Market, your holiday headquarters.

[C]

What's up world? It's Vaughn Miller, super bowl mvp, chicken farmer and now host of Free Range. This is a show where I go off the field and off the script. We're talking what's hot in music, film, trending news and everything blowing going up your feed. If you love football, you'll feel at home. But if you're here for the vibes, the Internet deep dives the conversation. This is your podcast. Join me every Wednesday. Follow and listen to Free Range with me, Von Miller everywhere. You get your podcast.