Jill on Money with Jill Schlesinger

Episode: Restarting After a Divorce

Date: December 12, 2025

Host: Jill Schlesinger | Guest: Marla (Listener, Florida)

Episode Overview

In this episode, Jill Schlesinger and producer Mark take a listener call from Marla in Florida, who is navigating the financial and emotional challenges of a drawn-out divorce. The discussion centers on rebuilding finances post-divorce and offers concrete strategies for moving forward, reestablishing independence, and setting boundaries with adult children. The advice is direct, practical, and supportive, aiming to give Marla—and listeners in similar situations—hope and a plan for financial recovery.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reality of Financial Struggle After Divorce

• Marla’s Situation:
  • Marla is currently going through a lengthy divorce, dealing with being cut off financially by her spouse, and is using funds from the recent house sale to cover living expenses.
  • She expresses concerns about running down her nest egg and her future financial security.
• Mark’s Support:
  • “Well, there’s always hope. Come on, we're going to get hope.” (05:55)
  • Jill and Mark acknowledge the emotional toll and validate Marla’s worries.

2. Credit Card Debt and Liability

• Credit Card Issue:
  • Marla opened credit cards for her husband that are technically in her name, resulting in $27,000 of debt primarily accumulated by her spouse.
  • The legal nuances of whose responsibility the debt is gets discussed.
  • Jill and Mark urge vigilance: “Never have joint credit cards. Only have a credit card that’s in your own name and never have somebody else’s name on your account—because it’s not necessary.” – Jill (13:37)

3. Asset and Income Evaluation

• Current Assets:
  • House sale yielded a lump sum, now down to about $68,000 due to living expenses.
  • A $13,000 Fidelity brokerage account, not a retirement account.
  • Possible value in personal jewelry and spouse’s gun collection.
• Income Situation:
  • Marla currently earns $40,000 annually, seeking to increase this to between $70,000–$120,000.
  • She has spent 20 years out of the workforce raising a family.

4. Child and Family Considerations

• Adult Children:
  • Sons are 21 and 22, both in college.
  • Marla is clear that the “Bank of Mom” is closed and if any child returns home, they must pay rent and contribute.
  • Jill’s advice: “You cannot float anything. There’s no like, ‘Oh, honey, let me help you.’ No, we’re in this together.”—Jill (12:39)

5. Rebuilding Game Plan: Triage Mode

• Immediate Priorities Outlined:
  • Move everything in mutual funds to cash for flexibility (“blow out of the Fidelity fund right now... all into your bank account”—Mark, 11:57)
  • Maintain an emergency reserve.
  • Pay down any remaining credit card debt, sharing liability where possible.
  • Hold off on new investments until stable.
  • When income increases, start a Roth IRA and redirect savings towards retirement.
• Key Point: It’s about dealing with immediate survival, then focusing on long-term rebuilding.

6. Insurance and Estate Planning

• Insurance:
  • Marla owns a $250,000 term policy on herself and is owner/beneficiary of a $1 million policy on her ex-husband, for which she pays premiums.
  • Mark: “If he’s in terrible health...keep paying it” (15:12)
• Estate Documents:
  • Ensure all assets are passed directly to children; ex-spouse should have no claim.
  • Practical steps: Update beneficiaries, consider transfer-on-death for accounts, draft a simple will, and set up a healthcare proxy.
  • “You should get a healthcare proxy. Name them [the kids].”—Mark (16:26)

7. Mental Health and Future Outlook

• Jill’s Encouragement:
  • Acknowledges it will be hard work, but emphasizes Marla’s positives: willingness to work, independence, and time to rebuild.
  • “You are in serious rebuilding mode.” (11:36)
  • “You’re going to hold your head up high and...be in control. That’s what I am hopeful for you.” – Mark (17:59)
• Marla’s Response:
  • Expresses gratitude and increased confidence after the call.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• Jill Schlesinger:

  • “It’s better to have the conversation than to ignore it.” (03:42)
  • “You are in serious rebuilding mode. All right?” (11:36)
  • “Never have joint credit cards. Only have a credit card that’s in your own name...” (13:37)

• Mark:

  • “Well, there's always hope. Come on, we're going to get hope.” (05:55)
  • “Just get out of everything [in the Fidelity account] and put it all into your bank account…” (11:57)
  • “You can probably do this online, but I just want to make sure that’s in place. Okay?” (17:03)

• Marla:

  • “Right now I just want to make sure that there’s some hope for my financial future.” (05:54)
  • “So what I just need to hear, if you don't mind, is to know that as I go ahead and move forward...that...I have enough time.” (17:09)

Important Segments & Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | Summary | |--------------------------------------|----------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Introduction of Marla’s Situation | 03:39–05:55 | Marla shares her divorce, financial cutoff, and use of house sale funds. | | Credit Card Debt Discussion | 06:01–07:31 | Liability details and state-by-state divorce credit treatment. | | Asset and Income Breakdown | 08:49–10:23 | Mark and Jill walk through Marla’s assets and job prospects. | | Children and Boundaries | 10:42–12:39 | Children’s roles, family dynamics, and new boundaries on support. | | Triage Game Plan | 11:36–13:37 | Step-by-step on cash flow, debt, and planning for retirement. | | Insurance & Estate Planning | 14:35–17:03 | Life insurance, simple will, and account beneficiary updates. | | Emotional Support and Optimism | 17:09–18:13 | Mark and Jill offer hope and a clear-eyed, stepwise path forward. |

Episode Takeaways

• Honest Conversations Matter: It's better to face uncomfortable financial realities head-on rather than avoid them.
• Rebuilding Post-Divorce: The process is challenging and often begins with stopping financial leaks, being realistic about assets, and focusing on work/income.
• Set Boundaries: Essential for both protecting your own finances and modeling independence for adult children.
• Practical Estate and Insurance Moves: Even simple steps can safeguard your children’s future and avoid entanglements with a former spouse.
• Hope and Agency: With determination, even a late financial restart is possible—rebuilding mode is tough, but not impossible.

The tone throughout is empathetic, supportive, and practical, with the hosts emphasizing action over hand-wringing, and reminding Marla—and listeners—that recovery is possible, step by step.