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A
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B
Yeah, I'm really honored to be here. Thank you so much, Jill. And I appreciate your sensitivity to wanting to kind of motivate people to move on toward a next chapter and also really appreciate what they're going through right now. So let's really unpack that in great depth, and then we can, you know, get into kind of what you can do next. So maybe let's just start with, like, why does a job loss hit you so hard, even when you might have seen it coming or maybe didn't see it coming at all? Because for many, you know, like you were saying, a job isn't just a paycheck, it's an identity, right? It's not just financial, it's emotional. There is a structure and there is a routine for your day. It's a way for you to have an outlet for your talents. It's a way for you to see a sense of impact in the world. It's a place for you to have social connections and feel a sense of belonging in the world, right? So it can give you a sense of safety and a sense of predictability and a sense of control. So for all of these reasons, the loss can really feel like all of these things have been pulled out from under you.
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A
I think it's interesting that when you say that about, like, you could have expected it, it doesn't actually necessarily. I mean, one part of this is like, if you're completely gobsmacked, like, oh, my God, I cannot believe I just was go versus, let's say that, you know, like, I'll just give you my own example that, you know, it has been widely reported in various outlets that there were going to be these big job cuts at cbs, and everybody kind of knew they were coming. But you're right. Even the people who knew that they were at risk, they are shaken to their core. They really are. They. They know in their heads they understand the why, but it's still very difficult for them to kind of filter through the emotions around this.
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B
Yeah, for sure. And, you know, it's just the nature of human beings that we have a kind of a bias that we think kind of negative things that can happen to other people, but it can't happen to us. It's kind of a protective mechanism, you know, that we all have. Ultimately, what you want to do is that you want to. You can control the narrative, right? So you want to kind of tell a story about what happened and why it happened in a way that is empowering for you. Because really, you know, when difficult things happen, what endures from that over the long term is really the story that you tell about it. Like what you make it mean about you. So it is very important that you get to that and that you are intentional about that and, and what you make it mean about you allows you to be confident going forward.
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A
Wait, I want to ask you questions. So let's play this out like in practice. Let's just pretend, thank God I didn't lose my job. But let's say on the day that the cuts came, I get this call and like, sorry, you're out. Okay. And so the story I tell myself as this information kind of like filters through, not in the set, the exact moment. Are you suggesting to be able to tell a story of like, look, this is a company, this is an industry that is under, is consolidating. It's doing like that kind of story, or the story of like, I will get through this. I have gotten through hard things in the past. Like, I know I can do this. What kind of story are we talking about?
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B
It's, it's kind of why it happened. Like, you're saying you, you know, was it because of factors that were, you know, totally out of your control? This isn't actually about you and your performance. And it's also the, the aspect of the story of what you make it mean about you. And this is what human beings do. We are just wired to make meaning of situations. This is really what separates us from animals. Even, you know, animals just kind of act on instinct. But, but humans have the faculty to kind of tell a story about what happened. And generally what we do is that we're, we're always, as we go through our days trying to figure out, you know, am I enough? Am I not enough? Like, who am I in relation to what's going on around me? And if you have any kind of doubt about yourself, even if you're a professional who's like, most mostly thinks you're great at what you do, you have lots of examples and praise and appreciation for you. But to any extent that you have a doubt about yourself, it's actually going to set you up to make the situation mean something about you. And this is why people can take with them that it means that I was a failure or that, you know, they question themselves or that I was wrong and that this is why it's very important to pay attention. I'll give you an example of this, actually. So I had a guy who was new to a CEO role and he reached out to me for coaching and he had been in a healthcare system and they had new management come in and he was trying to advocate for them to kind of maintain quality of patient care. And they came in and they were kind of like, you know, typical kind of examine your kind of cost cutting. And they. Then he was terminated. And so he went through his process. I didn't know him then he went through his process and he got in this new role as CEO. And it was. He was early on in the role, and he had. The prior CEO was now chairman of the board. So he hired me to help him with that friction and to, you know, be effective in influencing and raising morale in his new role. The very first, you know, time that I spoke with him, I could kind of tell he was still a bit of a shell of himself, you know, and as we were talking about, he was telling me, you know, he was still quite kind of filled up with what had happened in the past. I asked him about what happened, and I asked him about what he made it mean about him, that he couldn't kind of influence the new management to go along with what he thought were the right values. And instead he just got terminated. And he just. Without even skipping a beat, he just looked at me and he said, it means I'm a failure.
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A
Oh.
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B
So here he is. You know what I mean? This is what he carried with him sort of in the back of his mind, you know, even at his. As he went through the job search and now in a new role where he really has a heavy lift, you know, new CEO, needing to set the tone, raise morale, raise revenue, et cetera. And this is what was enduring for.
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A
Him about it, I think, first of all that, you know, I want to kind of divide this up a little bit. Like later in career, job cut will land differently, right? Then, you know, you're 25 or 30 years old. Right? But so let's. Let's talk about that a little bit in the. The emotional versus the professional for the. The more tenured folks out there. I mean, look, I look at it as like my first line of defense or maybe advocacy for these people who I know is like, what can I do to help you? Like, sort of sort the finances? Because I think that's the part, of course, I know how to do. And some of that is, like, very important to just make sure you. It's almost like a death, right? Where it's like, I got to settle the estate, and I do have to mourn this person. But right now there's some work to do. But how can you sort through the emotional versus the professional?
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B
So let's talk then about the emotion Focused coping. And actually it's really best case scenario. And the thing that you should try to remind yourself is to do the emotion focused coping first. Right. It's good to get into action, but you want to do so in the right frame of mind. Not forcing it, not glossing over. And your body is, especially at the beginning is probably the very, very activated racing thoughts, ruminations. And we want to talk about how to calm down your system so that you can think straight and you don't have to kind of avoid or suppress because that's what the CEO did and you know, that was what set him up not in his best self in the new role.
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A
Okay, so Ari, I love this. This is so good. So how do we calm down our systems?
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B
Maybe what would be helpful here is if we talk to talk through like they, they call it like the five stages of grief.
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A
Right?
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B
This is like a known process that people go through for anything where there is a loss and just at a high level first there's kind of shock and denial. Things are surreal. You can't even believe that it's happening. And you might be tempted to just be like, it's fine. Like, what, what's next? You're, you're, you're scrolling already. That first night on new jobs, you know, then there's the anger, like you're angry at the company, your boss, or the unfairness. Then there's the bargaining, like, what if I had done this or maybe if this had happened instead? Then there's the depression where it like really sets in. And now you're like, oh, shoot. And you know, how am I going to deal with this? And then finally you come through to acceptance when you're not fighting reality, you're like, okay, this happened. I understand it. I'm in a good headspace and I'm going to create my next chapter now.
- [15:13]
A
In the shock and denial part, I feel like I have seen that very clearly. I think that that's the moment that I think is sort of critical because I think people quickly would rather get to anger. And then I can like yell and scream and, and like, almost like I could almost see it on the day of all these layoffs of like how the shock and the denial was. It's almost like there are some people who are much more comfortable in anger and they go there fast, which is how they like lose their crap at the whoever has laid them off. Right? What is it during shock and denial where we can tamp down the system.
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B
A little bit there Shock is literally like when you're hearing it or you're, you're, you know, those that first day or hours, and you're just flooded with emotions. What's happening there is that the fear centers of your brain, the amygdala are in hijack, so you're reactive and they're kind of flooding your brain with all kinds of very intense emotions. And then, you know, as part of that, there's a sense of denial, like, this can't be happening. This is surreal. And this is your mind's kind of natural way of trying to cushion the blow. You're trying to get some sense of distancing. You may notice some people might have an opposite reaction where they, they go numb or they just need to kind of Netflix and chill. Cause they just can't do. It's just like system overload, you know. And if that's the case for you, like right at the beginning, it's okay. Like you can just honor your body. Bodies need to kind of like manage the capacity or, you know, have more capacity to deal with this systematically. So you can normalize that if it's right at the beginning. But you don't want to stay in any sense of avoidance. Even though it's a natural reaction, you want to be able to move through. And again, these five stages, they're not like, you know, picture perfect that you're moving through in a linear way. You, you might, you might do that, but you might even feel all of these by the time you have lunch and keep circling, you know, back through all of them. So there are things that you can do to just kind of calm down your system. One of the things that you might do if you wake up at 2am with your thoughts racing about, you know, what's going on and you just feel very scared, is you can do a breathing technique that just immediately calm down your system. So let me share it with you now. Left nostril breathing. Just as a. Like especially people are probably going to wake up in the middle of the night, you know, just not being able to get back to bed. So that's something that you can do.
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A
This is so wild because it's sort of like the science and the emotions. Fascinating. Completely fascinating. And like, like this practical thing. Put your finger on your right nostril. I'm doing it right now because now I'm going to sound funny. Don't edit this out, Mark. And you breathe. Now you're breathing normally. Am I doing deep breaths?
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B
No, you can do deep breaths, but you know, even normal breathing. But yeah, sure, it's always good to do slow breaths. And slow breaths is good because when you are worked up, your breathing is faster and it's shallow. And that just keeps that sympathetic nervous system, that on button, it keeps perpetuating it. So slow down your breath. And even the moment that you start breathing six times a minute, you're going to start to press that off button. So that's just 10 seconds per breath. So if you breathe in for the count of five and if you breathe out for the count of five, I mean that's like super duper simple. Even if you just start there, when you breathe out longer than you breathe in, you press the off button. So that's why we say exhale. Right. So literally, like this is just so easy. Like if you just breathe into the count of three and breathe out for the count of six, like right there, you do that for one or two or three minutes, like already you're going to notice your system is going to start to calm down.
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A
Dude, did you have to go to Harvard to learn that? Couldn't you just gone to yoga?
- [19:23]
B
Yes, you could have gone to yoga.
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A
No shade on Harvard. And I know, I'm sure you, that you got a lot of knowledge there. But, but what is fascinating is we are not saying, as you hear this, like any loss, I mean, we're talking about job loss, but I mean any loss. And you know, I had, you know, a lot of loss in my life. And I have noticed, like when my friend was dying of cancer, that I was up all night and that like breathing and counting and calming, like it actually, it didn't take my pain away. It just stopped the outsized physical reaction that I was having. That's really what it was because I couldn't sleep, you know, and it was like, oh, you know, your best friend's dying, it's hard to sleep. Your family member is in pain, it's hard to sleep. But it is. I like this idea of calming down the system. Yes.
- [20:21]
B
And anything and everything that you can do to calm the system. So, you know, going out into nature or being with people who are a calm force for you, co regulation, you know, being kind of regulated by someone else's nervous system who, if they can find calm and you're in their presence, you know, kind of hugging, you know, doing a hug for 20 seconds or more can really calm down your system. So any of these things, and we're, we're going to talk about this when we get to the anger point, but let me make the point here because I think it's important when you're talking about calming down your system, you want to do some sort of a strategy that, that matches the valence and the intensity of the emotion. And let me tell you what I mean by that. So if you're very worked up, freaked out, or angry about a situation and it's like, you know, intense for you, then like going for a walk around the block, not going to do it for you, okay? Because it doesn't match the intensity. So you have to do something that, that, that matches that intensity. So when we talk about anger, I mean, you know, if you need to get on the punching bag or do vigorous workouts or, you know, lift weights or go smack some golf balls, having nothing to do with your form or, you know, going into a car, putting up the windows and like, letting it rip or any of these things like, that will match the intensity of your emotion and it will help to move it through to the point that you can clear your mind to then start processing it effectively. And that was the point of the emotion versus the problem. Focus is that you really want to do things to shift the kind of emotional energy in your body, and that will enable you to have a better headspace to process it.
- [22:05]
A
Let's say we're in the anger. Anger's dangerous because you can do some dopey things in the moment of anger. Like, we don't want people to burn bridges and all that. But what is it that we need to do to kind of balance our anger out or accept it? Some people don't like being angry. Some people are like, feel like that's not a comfortable place for them. So how do we manage anger?
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B
You know, there's a sense of a lack of control, right, in these situations, a sense of unfairness, a sense of not being given back all the way that you poured yourself, you know, into a role, feeling blindsided. So these are things that can really make people angry or maybe even at, like at the incompetence of leadership, if that's how you perceive it, or, you know, perceiving that management chose to, you know, take salaries from employees instead of, you know, invest in making the service better or etc. Whatever it is that you think. So anger has a lot to do with the story that you tell in the situation. Let's move the emotion through and then talk about anger. So just like we were saying, anything that you can do to move it through is, is going to be very helpful for you at this time. Let me go through a couple of distinctions here. One Thing is a distinction between kind of having the feeling and feeling the feeling. This is super nuanced and sophisticated, just like your audience. So let's talk about this, because a lot of us think, like, if I have the thoughts that are, like, circling around in my mind, they shouldn't have done this. I'm pissed off about this. We think, like, I'm feeling the feeling, you know, but actually you're.
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A
You're not.
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B
You're just sort of looping ruminations and having pictures in your mind about it. But feeling the feeling is more when you get into your body and you actually feel it, and you're like, where do I feel this in my body? What am I feeling? And you actually allow yourself to feel it in your body. Now, emotions, the way that you want to think of emotions is that they're like a tunnel. And you want to have them go through the tunnel and come out the other side. And then you have shifted and you are in a better, like, headspace to be more constructive. But what happens, like, if you even think about this? Like, once you have a good cry, like, don't you feel a million times better?
- [24:29]
A
Yeah, almost daily.
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B
Yeah, totally. I get it. Yeah, me too. And. But that's the point, right? Like, that I'm saying, like, because you've been through. Through the tunnel. But what happens, like, with anger and, you know, sadness too? Like, even if, like, you feel like you have to cry, but you don't, but then you kind of have that, like, crunchy feeling where you just. You didn't really move it through, and then you just feel bogged down with it. That's what we're trying to avoid. You want to be in your feelings fully. You want to feel them, and then you want to feel better, but you don't want to be, like, in that gray zone. So if you're having feelings, one thing that you could do is just put your attention on where you have them in your body. Like, there's that ball in my sternum. There's that heaviness in my chest, you know, and just put your attention there. And, you know, try this. Try it along with us right now. Like, just put loving attention on that part of your body and just stick with that for 30 seconds, a minute or two or three minutes. And you should notice, and even just do that as I'm talking, you should actually notice that there's going to be something that will shift. Maybe it dissipates, maybe it changes color a little bit, but you want to just sort of notice. Does it feel tingly? Does it feel heavy? Does it have a color? Is it moving from my chest? But now it's more kind of dissipating. And that is like a very, very healthy way of starting to move your emotions through.
- [26:02]
A
How does bargaining come into this? Like, you've lost your job, you're federal worker. You thought you were going to be there for 30 years. It's now, like, we've heard from people, like, we're 19 years in and I'm a year away from maxing out my pension, and I got let go. Like, that's. So the bargaining is like, if only I started a year before, but like, what happens in bargaining?
- [26:24]
B
Such a good insight, Jill. And I think what's happening there is that we're trying to have a sense of control, right? Bargaining gives us an illusion of control. It's an attempt to try to rewrite, you know, the story in a way that it wouldn't work out this way, but it's just that it's just an illusion of control. And the best thing to do would be to keep working through so that you have an actual sense of control. If you can try to get out of that emotional hijack enough that you can think about. And who do I want to be in the situation? Who do I need to be in order to get the outcome that I want? It's the same thing here. The moment you start interacting in the situation as who you want to be, it's actually more on your own terms.
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A
Your.
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B
Your energy state is going to shift like that. So I would be thinking about what's within my control. There's where your power is, right? And then I'd be doing an inventory of those things. I'd be maximum maximizing on your power. So that's how I would be moving through bargaining.
- [27:28]
A
So talking to a friend of mine, she just said to me, you know, I, I trying to actually, she's.
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B
I.
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A
Not that I want to be depressed, but she. I'm sort of forcing myself to sit still a little bit. And when I do sit still, I feel so sad. And I don't want to get into, like, what she described as, like. I don't want to fall into, like, that. That very scary depression where almost like your brain can shift. Like people who are clinically depressed, if I'm not mistaken, you'll tell me the science behind it is that you, your body kind of remembers what it is to be depressed. And she's like, I just, I don't want to go there too much because I'M scared I'm going to stay there. So how do we manage depression, which, like, is so normal. You've just lost a job. That is depressing.
- [28:11]
B
Yeah, it's totally normal. It's a really good thing to make a distinction between the emotion and then the story that you make about it or the negative forecasting that you do. So that person's question is such a good question. And so, like, thank you for normalizing. Like, that's totally normal. To feel sad and to feel full of grief about a loss of something that was significant for you. And I think that this is how we tend to think about emotion in our society. Like, don't dip your toe in or you could be taken out to sea.
- [28:44]
A
Yeah, exactly.
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B
So I think it's really good, like, just back to what we were saying is to be connected with your body. Like, for her to just allow herself to, like, where does she feel that emotion in her body? And then, you know, just allow herself to be with that. So one thing that she could do is she could try as much as possible to put the. Some parameters about it. Like she could say, I'm gonna go and sit by a lakeside or something like that. And I'm gonna give myself an hour or a couple of hours. I'm gonna write about this. You know, I'm gonna go to a coffee shop and I'm gonna write about it. Studies show writing about your experiences several times and just kind of knowing what you feel about it and where you feel it and what you're making of it is actually really helps people move through it. It helps prevent people getting sick. It helps people, you know, be more psychologically healthy. So that's really healthy for you. Talking to someone who's very trusted for you is very helpful, but you have to do it in a way that's not just venting. Like, if you just. If you just kind of vent about it, that's going to keep your sympathetic nervous system going and it's not actually going to help you to feel the feeling. So really it's like the being with and the allowing and also some of the expressions. Like, what I do is I maintain Spotify playlists and I encourage people to, like, do dance breaks. Like, I. I have one for rage dance breaks. I have one that's for like, sadness and grief and just like, put it on and just like, allow yourself to, you know, move with it. Just for a song, you mean you.
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A
Just play like endless playlists of Sarah McLaughlin for and for grief.
- [30:29]
B
She's on there. She's not the only one. So, you know, these are ways of sort of like. Or you could do like kind of a worry hour, you know, kind of be like for this period of time, I'm going to allow myself to go all in on the ruminations, the worry, the, you know, all the things. But like, when the timer goes off, you know, then I'm going to do something actively to kind of shift into a different state. So these are all ways of allowing yourself to have the feeling, to think the thoughts. You saying them out loud is good. Writing about them, being with them. And be aware if you are isolating or wanting to avoid, that's gonna. Because you don't feel good, you don't feel like your best self. You don't want to socialize, you don't want people to see you like this. And that's a warning sign, you know, because that's going to keep you in it. So. So it's really good for you to, you know, try to not avoid, you know, here's where the story that you tell about it or the way that you represent it to yourself and other people is going to be important. Because if you say to yourself, you know, I got fired, that maintains you feeling very done to and out of your power.
- [31:39]
A
But if you say, yeah, let's do the alternative. Give me two different ways to think. I got, I got, you know, I lost my job or I got fired, I got laid off. Now what's the alternative way to tell that story?
- [31:51]
B
You know, there was a restructuring and I was affected, or I had been thinking for a while that this may not have been the best fit or what I wanted to do anymore. And this was a kind of a forced release for me to, you know, give me a jump start on some of the things that I've been considering. Those are two different ways of saying it.
- [32:16]
A
That's good. I want to talk a little bit about being a younger employee. First of all, may not have like a lot of the. Just the experience of knowing how to manage all these feelings, right? So when you're a younger person, let's just kind of call this like 35 and under and you are laid off. And, you know, I think that this is a moment where so many people, like, this is essentially like their first failure. They say, like, oh, I failed. And this is the story you tell yourself. So how do we help younger workers who receive the bad news? They're going to go through their five stages. I get that. Is there something specific to a younger worker that you think is Important and second follow up question to that is the survivors of those workers seem to be struggling quite a bit in my organization. So the younger people who watched some of the most old, like the seasoned people, the people they admired, watching that and still standing is very unnerving to them.
- [33:26]
B
Just like you spoke to that. This is my first quote, unquote failure. I think that that's very, very important for us to just double click on that because that's an example of someone who is making this mean that it's a failure and you really have an opportunity, it is within your power to control the narrative and to think about this not as a failure, even though, you know, you kind of can't help it, right? Again, like you're trying to control, so you're trying to make it mean, you know, you're trying to be like, I did something to make this happen. Because to think that this could just happen and it totally wasn't in my control is actually harder for humans. So we try to have a sense of control, but I think really going through objectively what you could control and what you couldn't control and then trying to understand the forces of how we got to this moment is really going to bring you to an objective story. I think this is my first failure is not a constructive story. And I think even just the mindset that we have about work these days, you know, it used to be like you signed on with a company, you know, 25 years that, you know, the gold hand, you know, watch or whatever, that was the way that we thought about it. But you know, the social contract I think that we have between employer and employees, like it's changed now. I think if you can even just generally speaking, no matter where you are in your career, have a mindset that the value that I bring is within me. I have this set of skills, I have results that I can get, I have value and I am bringing it to this company now. You know what I mean? But it could be in a different way or a different company and I'm going to, you know, give my all and make an impact and connect with people here and pour myself into our clients and patients, et cetera, customers, but also to stay knowing that I'm developing my own brand, you know, my own set of skills that I can bring. So I think having that, that mindset is like an empowering mindset. I think also thinking about a career, whether you're young or whether you're more seasoned, the way that we think about it these days is more as Like a portfolio, right? So maybe you're all in to 150% on your current role where you're employed, but many people are healthfully thinking about it as, you know, maybe I have a side hustle or you know, maybe I'm full time in a role, but I'm also gaining skills or certifications or you know, volunteering for new kinds of things that I could lead so that I build my own portfolio skill set. And these days, especially if you're a younger person, but really across the age spectrum, is that it's a brave new world. Upskill yourself in AI so that you're very, you know, just attractive for any next role. And also it's never been easier to kind of, you know, start your own passion based company or to be doing, you know, consulting and patching together, you know, a handful of clients or for an older person, maybe sitting on a board or for a younger person, you know, doing a one person vibe coding, you know, to get something going on the side. So I think for you to be thinking, thinking in this way just automatically is very empowering. And for a young person, you know, it's like, wow, I mean you have like the rest of your life, I mean there could be. So, you know, you're gonna have a number of different career experiences. I might think of it that way, you know, and here's where you want to take control over your career and, and your personal brand and be thinking of it that way. Like each experience kind of contributes to your overall brand and your experience and just, you know, kind of where, where you are bringing your contribution right now. But it's not you. You're the value, you're the magic.
- [37:30]
A
So what is it that the survivors, especially the younger staff, that's really unnerved by what's going on? And again, you know, this can be a younger person in the government, it can be a young person at a big tech company that where there, there's really growth, the stock's doing great, but people you love are getting laid off. Or in media where it's like the whole world's changing. So how do survivors manage being at work and not going into that fear mode of like, oh my God, I could be next.
- [38:02]
B
So I think there's fear and there's guilt. So, you know, there's a thing called survivor guilt, right? For the people who stay, like, why was it other people and why was it not me? To the extent that you can try to make that into a mission to not let it get you down, that as Guilt, but just, just to like, bring your best now that you are in the role and try to honor the mission of the people who you were working alongside? I think the fear is palpable. I think it's real for all of us. And I think the thing that you want to do is to try to kind of focus on what it is that you can control. And this is just like ongoing mental and emotional hygiene, so to speak. And it's not easy with all the things that you have going on, but just to always be thinking about, what can I control in this situation? And as I like to say, be impeccable for your 50%, meaning always, like take 100% responsibility for everything that you bring to your part of the equation. Do you have really clear communication with your manager or together as your team about what needs to be done now and how we're reallocating what needs to be done and maybe be the one to bring up that we, we need to be making decisions because we can't as three do the same work as a team of ten, you know what I mean? And what's really most important and what's most in alignment with kind of the new strategic vision of the leadership. If you're in leadership, then be the one who brings up those hard discussions and makes clear choices for everyone below you. So I think to try to, you know, stay in communication, speak up with the boundaries that you need. Don't, you know, don't just let the work of six people come onto you. You know, speak up about what's best for the, for the work and your role in the work. But I think any of the things that we talked about earlier about dealing with emotions is going to be very helpful for dealing with the fear because otherwise it's just going to like, always be like a gear grinding in the back of your mind, you know what I mean? And it's going to of wear down your energy over time.
- [40:23]
A
What else do you want to impart on people as they are in a really, as you said, a brave new world? I mean, it is a uncertain world and I know how our brains react to uncertainty. And it definitely feels like the labor market has shifted quite dramatically. Going to be a lot of changes going forward. So how would you like to leave folks as they finish their listen of this amazing interview with you?
- [40:52]
B
Well, I think what you want to do is you want to be paying attention to the pictures that are in your mind because if you have pictures in your mind of it's not going to work out and Things are only going to get worse and I'm never going to get a next role or no one's ever going to want to hire me or, or I'm gonna drain through all of my savings or any of those kinds of things. Then you are gonna keep cycling through. You're gonna keep replaying that movie in your mind and it's gonna keep re traumatizing you, you know, and it's gonna then keep all of those negative emotions kind of circulating through, causing you to shut down or stay over activated, et cetera. So that's something that is within your power, is to pay attention to the pictures that are in your mind and to create a mental movie of the future that you want to be living in, be playing those movies, right? And then thinking about and who do I need to show up as in order to start taking actions in order to skill myself up, in order to, you know, talk with really clear asks for people in my network. And then create like a positive spiral of, you know, and really stay motivated to create those things. And you always have more power than you think in any situation. So that's what I would say. It's like, show up as who you want to be and remember that when you're in your power, you raise everyone around you. So stop being the thermometer. The thermometer who kind of reacts to the environment, right, but is a casualty, not the creator, of your circumstance, and instead be the thermostat. You set the tone. You create the weather inside of you. You create the weather around you and go out and create the future that you want to live.
- [42:58]
A
If you have any feedback on that interview, or you're going through a job loss or you're a survivor of a job loss or something just rang true to you, or something else is going on in your financial life, just go to our website, jillonmoney.com, click the contact us button. Write us a note if you want to join us on the air, just check the box. Mark will do everything else. Check out all of the content that lives on our website, including our subscription service, Jill on Money Live. That's where you have access to quarterly live webinars, the back catalog of those webinars, bonus audio and video content, all for 45 bucks for the next 12 months. Okay? Don't forget that we are here for you every single day, Monday through Friday. Our sister program is Money Watch, and that drops on the weekends. You can subscribe to both of our shows on the Odyssey app or wherever you find your favorite podcast and on today, Thanksgiving Day, of course you're going to to lift someone up. Of course you're going to do something nice for someone else. And maybe it is just sending a note to somebody you haven't spoken to in a while and tell them that you are thankful that they are in your life. Change your work, change your wealth, change your life. Thanks for listening. We'll talk to you tomorrow. Other Jewelers Hate Stephen Singer why? Because Stephen Singer has the best real natural diamond stud earrings in America. Everybody knows gold and diamond prices are crazy right now. Gold is at the highest price in history. Lucky for you, Stephen Singer has locked in his diamond studs at the old prices. Steven has diamond studs available from a quarter carat all the way up to 10 carats total weight. All at the same perfect price as last year. Same incredible value. There's no better time to get a pair of diamond studs from Steven Singer Jewelers. This can't last forever. Each pair is eye flawless and near colorless. Beautiful stuff. They come with his safety silicone back so you never have to worry about losing them. And with his unbeatable full value lifetime trade in, you know your diamonds are always worth what you paid. All backed by the best guarantee in the jewelry business. A full 100 day, 100%, no hassle money back guarantee plus fast and free shipping. Experience the difference at Stevensinger jewelers online at ihatestevensinger.com that's I hate stephensinger.com what's up?
- [45:17]
C
It's Draymond Green. I'm back for my 14th NBA season and my podcast, the Draymond Green show is back too. This season I'm breaking down games, reacting to the biggest NBA stories and sitting down with teammates, rivals and culture shapers. And trust me, I'm not holding back on the court or on the mic. Two new episodes every week. New segments, big conversations, real basketball talk for the real hoop heads. Listen to and follow the Draymond Green show wherever you get your podcast. We're back. We're better. Let's get it.