You Might Also Like: What Should I Do With My Money? from Morgan Stanley

Summary

Podcast Summary:

Jill on Money with Jill Schlesinger
Episode Drop: “What Should I Do With My Money?” from Morgan Stanley
Date: October 1, 2025
Theme: Exploring the intersection of money, motherhood, and menopause, and how emotions and personal history influence financial decision-making for women in midlife.

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Episode Overview

This episode is a crossover featuring Morgan Stanley's “What Should I Do With My Money?”, centering on Kristin—a successful real estate agent and mother navigating rising anxiety around finances as she enters perimenopause. The show lays bare how career, wellness, emotional state, and financial planning intertwine, especially for women in their late 40s and 50s. Host Jamie Rowe introduces a real, in-depth conversation between Kristin and her financial advisor (and friend), Sarah, with expert context from Dr. Kim Henderson, Morgan Stanley’s associate medical director.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kristin’s Financial Anxiety and Aspirations

• Kristin shares longstanding discomfort discussing money, despite her strong planning instincts.
• Her priority: building a secure financial future for her two daughters, offering them the same advantages she received (“downfield blocks” for college, weddings, home down payments).

  “I want to do that for my kids...any downfield block we can give them, I want to be able to do.” — Kristin [01:18]

• Despite having a plan in place with financial advisor Sarah, persistent anxiety remains about college costs, weddings, and unforeseen needs.

2. Motherhood, Menopause, and Money Stress

• Kristin reflects on perimenopause as triggering heightened emotions and life questioning, which bleed into money worries and career thoughts.

  “I just feel like a wackadoo half the time...Does that lead to my anxiety about whether it’s finance or life or children?” — Kristin [02:20]

• Sarah notes this pattern in many female clients: as they approach menopause, concerns about work-life balance, retirement, and physical well-being rise sharply.

  “If you don’t feel great physically...it makes you question life decisions. Am I gonna have a hot flash in the middle of a presentation?...It’s super stressful.” — Sarah [07:02]

3. Women, Confidence, and Financial Conversations

• Sarah identifies a “crisis of confidence” in women regarding finances, despite being over half the population.

  “The difference between women and men...tends to be a crisis of confidence...Let’s figure out where you are today, and...move forward.” — Sarah [05:30]

• The power of having a relatable, female financial advisor: Kristin went from feeling sidelined to becoming an active participant in her family’s financial planning.

  “I was finally part of the conversation...I actually felt comfortable from the get-go.” — Kristin [03:27]

4. Teaching Kids About Values and Money

• Kristin struggles with how to impart fiscal values to her children, feeling unsure how she was taught them herself.

  “That whole thing sounds awful to me...I hate even talking about that...” — Kristin [10:34]

• Sarah reassures her: values are often passed on through lived example, not formal lectures.

  “You’re probably doing a way better job than you even realize.” — Sarah [11:24]

5. Money, Health, and Permission to Prioritize Well-being

• Dr. Kim Henderson joins to explain the “perfect storm”: menopause brings new anxieties about the future, physical symptoms, and often financial worries, all compounding.

  “There is no separation between physical health and wellness, mental health and wellness, and financial health and wellness. It is all in the same stew.” — Dr. Kim Henderson [15:59]

• Sarah observes many women don’t “give themselves permission” to spend on health needs, like trainers or therapy, and sometimes just need external validation that it’s responsible to do so.

6. Retirement and Long-Term Security Concerns

• Kristin is unsure she’ll ever fully retire, but worries about having “enough” and how to plan for unknowns and potential health crises (e.g., paying for long-term care or assisted living).

  “How do you know when enough is enough?...How many more years do we need to keep working?” — Kristin [17:19]

• Sarah emphasizes the plan incorporates flexible math and scenario modeling, including long-term care insurance and bucketed healthcare savings. She walks Kristin through the practical mechanics—and emotional comfort—of having contingencies.

7. Estate Planning, Trusts, and Protection

• Kristin is comfortable with estate discussion (“That doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all, actually”). She wants safeguards that align with her values and avoids just giving lump sums to her kids.
• Sarah outlines the basics: beneficiary structures, inheritance timelines, preventing common issues (like assets passing to a second spouse), and recommends a guided template for conversations with lawyers.

  “We will...synthesize the legal documents...in a summary...with any questions that we have to make sure...did we cover this?” — Sarah [24:30]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kristin’s vulnerability & humor:

  “I just feel like a wackadoo half the time and thank God I have friends that are willing to talk about it.” [02:20]
  “We do not want the young, hot second wife getting everything I worked for.” [23:26]

• The “aha moment” about self-care:

  “I don’t need to have this guilt over spending money that I wanna spend on myself...That really clicked for me.” — Kristin [27:30]

• Reassurance and gratitude:

  “I cried last time you came over because you made me feel better about our future.” — Kristin [26:49]

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Important Timestamps

• 00:52 | Kristin introduces herself and discusses anxiety around money
• 02:20 | Kristin connects perimenopause to increased anxiety
• 05:30 | Sarah discusses women and confidence in financial matters
• 07:02 | The impact of physical wellness on financial decisions
• 10:34 | Kristin’s discomfort with discussing money values with kids
• 11:24 | Sarah’s reassurance about values being passed on
• 14:47 | Dr. Kim Henderson on menopause, anxiety, and money
• 17:19 | Kristin expresses fear about never having “enough”
• 18:21 | Kristin’s aversion to financial lingo; desire for clear answers
• 21:06 | Sarah explains long-term care insurance
• 23:26 | Estate planning details and the “young, hot second wife” bit
• 27:30 | Kristin’s “aha moment” regarding guilt-free self-spending

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Episode Tone and Takeaways

The episode blends candid, often humorous admissions of discomfort with deeply practical financial advice. The tone is supportive, gentle, and empathetic: Kristin’s honesty about her unease, Sarah’s warmth and clarity as an advisor, and Dr. Kim’s integration of physical, mental, and financial health contribute to both reassurance and actionable planning.

Key takeaways:

• Financial plans must address not only the numbers, but evolving emotional and physical needs—especially for women in midlife.
• It’s normal for women to feel anxiety and uncertainty as they balance family, health, and finances.
• Talking openly, asking questions, and using trusted professionals can provide both action steps and critical peace of mind.
• Estate planning and long-term care are essential—and not just about what happens at death, but about protecting values and ensuring comfort for future generations.

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Transcript

[Kristin]

Hey, gang. We're dropping an episode from another podcast called what Should I Do with My Money? It's all about real people like you asking real questions like you do about their money. With experienced financial advisors like our show, you're going to hear honest conversations about people's hopes and their fears around money. You're going to understand the role that emotions and personal history play in our finances. And hopefully, like with this show, you were able to glean some valuable advice for managing your own financial life. In this episode of what Should I Do with My Money? You. You're going to hear how money, motherhood, and menopause are all deeply interconnected. I hate talking about money. I've always hated talking about money. It makes me very uncomfortable.

[Jamie Rowe]

Meet Kristin. She's a real estate agent in her late 40s. She's married with two teenage daughters. And yeah, money, it just stresses me out.

[Kristin]

I just feel like I'm a planner. I'm a type a person. I'm sort of an all or nothing mentality and just a huge part of our lives. And it's one of our stressors, how to plan for the next generation and provide financial stability for them. And it's on my mind a lot, so planning it out even more just gets me feeling anxious.

[Jamie Rowe]

Kristin wants to set up a solid financial foundation for her daughters like she had.

[Kristin]

I look back at my life and what my parents were able to provide for me and what my husband's family provided for him. And we, we both realize we're incredibly lucky and that not everybody's parents are able to do that. I graduated college debt free and that was an amazing gift that I didn't appreciate until I had my first job and I was saving my first paychecks. And I want that for my children. My dad always referred to it as a downfield block and he's not alive anymore, but he would always talk about, if I can give you a downfield block, I'm going to, and I want to do that for my kids. So whether that's a wedding or a little down payment on a house in the future, any downfield block we can give them, I want to be able to do.

[Jamie Rowe]

And as committed as Kristen is to her family, she has been just as dedicated to her career and has achieved a lot of success. But like many women her age, Kristin feels like everything has just gotten more extra lately, especially after she started experiencing perimenopause.

[Kristin]

I just feel like a wackadoo half the time and thank God I have friends that are willing to talk about it. And we do talk about perimenopause or what stage of menopause. And it got to the point where I was like this something chemical that's going on in me and does that lead to my anxiety about whether it's finance or life or children or whatever it is. And it all ties in together. It really does. Like the pressure of work and how many more years do I need to make, you know, do I need to exceed at this level? Versus, hey, how would my life feel if I was kind of here? I'm still going to be productive, I'm still going to be successful, but I don't have to give up every aspect of my personal life for my career. And what if I tried to be a six or a seven instead of always operating at a nine and a half?

[Jamie Rowe]

Through all of this, Kristin knew she and her husband needed someone who really understands them to help manage their finances. They had been going to an advisor that her parents had used for years, but she never felt a strong personal connection. Then she met Sarah at a ladies Christmas party. They clicked and became fast friends. Sarah is also a financial advisor.

[Kristin]

And because we were good friends, at first, I felt a little bit awkward about that. You know, I said to my husband, does that feel funny to you? If we're kind of letting Sarah in on our whole life financially and she's such an easy to get to know person and very much an open book and I'm the same way. And we just clicked. Always when we made the switch to Sarah, I just felt like I was finally part of the conversation and it wasn't me looking in on my financial advisor and my husband making decisions. But I actually felt comfortable from the get go. It was like, this is going to be good. I'm not going to hate every time we have to meet our financial planner.

[Jamie Rowe]

Kristin and Sarah have been working together for a few years now. Sarah has created a financial plan for Kristin's family and her situation looks good. But Kristin's anxiety persists.

[Kristin]

How much longer am I working? How much do I have to make? How much do we have to save? Do we have enough saved for college and for our kids wedding, for our kids, future children and all the things we want to be able to help them in the future. So just at this stage of our life, the financial goals become financial realities and things that we want to make sure we've really saved for and planned for.

[Jamie Rowe]

And that's where we'll start today. I'm Jamie Rowe and welcome to what should I Do with My Money, an original podcast from Mortgage Morgan Stanley. We match real people asking real questions about their money with experienced financial advisors. Here at Morgan Stanley, we work with a range of clients. Some are experienced investors, others are new to working with a financial advisor. On this show, you get a front row seat to hear what these initial conversations are like and get answers to some of the questions you might have yourself. Kristen has already been working with Sarah for a few years. Sarah is a financial advisor and family wealth director at Morgan Stanley. Her focus and passion is helping women with their finances.

[Sarah]

It's an underserved market, and I'm not exactly sure why that is. As 51% of the population, the difference between women and men as it relates to finances tends to be a crisis of confidence. And so just breaking down that barrier and making people understand that they don't need to feel bad for wherever they are at, let's figure out where you are today. And then, okay, what do I need to do to move forward?

[Jamie Rowe]

And it was actually Sarah who contacted me with the idea of having Kristin on the podcast. Sarah says she's been seeing a lot of her female clients reach their late 40s and early 50s and find themselves in a similar mindset to Kristin.

[Sarah]

So yesterday I had a conversation with a client who's right around our age, and she's like, I'm not feeling so great. I'm sort of stressed out. I don't know why I'm so stressed out. I want to slow down and work. You know, what does that look like? And so you kind of have these conversations over and over again where people are trying to get their values and how they feel to align with their goals and their portfolio and their strategy. And they're really sometimes coming and saying, hey, how soon can I get out? How soon can I retire? What does that look like? I'm kind of frustrated. I'm kind of done.

[Jamie Rowe]

Just to be clear, Kristin isn't frustrated with her job. Quite the opposite. She loves being a real estate agent, but she does feel a growing level of stress and anxiety. And Sarah, in her purview, sees a connection in a lot of her clients between these frustrated feelings and hitting perimenopause.

[Sarah]

If you don't feel great physically and this could be anything, you hurt your back, whatever. If you don't feel great physically, it makes you question life decisions. It just does. Am I gonna have a hot flash in the middle of a presentation for 200 people? Like, these are real things that I don't think people realize. People are thinking about, and it's super stressful.

[Jamie Rowe]

As we often say on this podcast, money is emotional. Understanding that understanding how finances and psychology connect is a fundamental skill of being a good financial advisor.

[Sarah]

Part of our job, or at least what I spend time on, is trying to help somebody think of the art of the possible. So we're sort of all programmed. I work with a lot of, you know, quote unquote, type A people and so how to make them feel a little bit better and think about things a little bit differently, just based on the fact that I may have talked to somebody else or. I know, I know mathematically, emotionally, I've done this before through experience. I know your financial plan is okay, and if you need to spend X, Y and Z on healthcare, personal trainers, coaches, then go do it. And maybe you didn't think of that.

[Jamie Rowe]

Well, Kristin and Sarah, obviously I don't need to introduce you. I'm just going to step aside and let you get to it.

[Sarah]

Thank you so much for doing this. I'm so excited to talk to you.

[Kristin]

I'm so excited.

[Sarah]

Me too.

[Kristin]

Me too. So fun.

[Sarah]

So I know we get a chance to talk all the time, but why don't we talk about some things that may be on your mind as it relates? You talked a little bit about kids and values and family and retirement. So where shall we start?

[Kristin]

Yeah, and that's. I feel like that's on my mind all the time. Like, I feel like I'm. I. All I think about is wanting to be a better mom and a better wife. And what does that mean? Or what does that look like? Have we, you know, have we done enough for the kids? Have we saved enough for the kids? What does our future look like? That's all I think about, is wanting to do for my kids. And that a huge part of that's financially.

[Sarah]

Yeah, it is. Things cost money. Right. And so one of the things that's so critical about a financial plan is thinking through what are the goals and do we have things put together to be able to align with those goals. And I think that saving for college gets to a lot of other areas where if. If we were the type of people that were like, we have to be doing something, we feel like if we're not actively feeling like we're doing something, it's not getting done. And one of the beautiful things about your plan or people's financial plans in general when we work with them is, okay, what are the little, little things we have to do so that we wake up when someone's 18 years old.

[Kristin]

And it' I was going to say, that's the part that I realized even after our last conversation and it was like, okay, the big things are saved for. I still feel weird. I walk away from that conversation. I worry about the day to day. I worry about the, like, am I splurging too much on this? Do we have the money to do this? Is it a good habit to do this?

[Sarah]

So one of the things that I think it's important for parents to do is to talk a little bit openly. Not necessarily about the actual dollar amounts, but, you know, that casual mention of, did we put money aside for the savings this month? Did we, did we allocate that the right way? When was the last time we looked at our. I'll just say asset allocation. Maybe you would never say that at the dinner table, but that little casual, like, tidbit gets absorbed.

[Kristin]

That whole thing sounds awful to me. Like, even hearing you say that, I'm like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to. If I'm being honest, Like, I really, I hate that. I hate even talking about that or trying to put it in a little box and tie a ribbon on it. I get flustered with that. I wish my dad was alive. And I should ask my mom to say, how did we know that? Like, how did we know that you worked hard and we appreciated it. And money, I mean, my dad used to say, money doesn't grow on trees all the time. So I remember hearing those little phrases. But I think the values that your kids have towards money is something you either teach them or don't teach them. And I can't remember how I was taught, but I do feel confident that I grew up with really good values, knowing that I had to earn it to have it, to spend it. And I worry that I'm not passing the right values on to my kids to set them up for future success.

[Sarah]

I think the one thing that we all forget is that as we go through life, we're all leading by example. So you may not think that your everyday decisions are contributing to the values that you're hoping to instill with your kids. But time and time again, in the conversations I have with clients, they're always shocked by the fact that 10 years later, when their kids are in their 20s, they're. They wax poetic about how their mom instilled these values in them and they didn't even realize they were doing it. So if I think about your experience, you work really hard, you save your money, you're careful with your money. You make thoughtful decisions. You care a lot about the people around you. I'm guessing those values are translating to your kids without even realizing it. If you wanted to add something to that, you could think a little bit about creating the mindfulness and the awareness around it, maybe a tiny bit of transparency here and there about your thoughts, thought process that went into it. But you're probably doing a way better job than you even realize. And I bet if you thought back to how did your parents instill their values in you, you're probably not realizing and they may not even realize. You could probably ask your mom that question, you know, did she do it intentionally or did it just kind of happen? Because look at you, so good with money. Here we are. And the values that you're hoping to instill in your kids, and you already have them.

[Jamie Rowe]

Something that Kristin brought up is how perimenopause might be affecting her levels of anxiety around finances. And it's something that Sarah finds herself talking about a lot with her clients.

[Sarah]

So I think health issues are interesting. They're a little bit like money issues and people don't always want to talk about it and they don't have someone to talk to about it. And so when it comes to a conversation about personal finance, personal health, you're really divulging something very private with someone. And so we have conversations that go deep on these topics and they can be things like, how do I dial back my workload? Am I in a place where I can either change careers if I'm not feeling good, you know, maybe I need a break? How do I look at that? How do I do the analysis around that? How much money can I spend, spend on my personal health? And some people need that permission to say, okay, here's a bucket of spending, or here's an allocation of my budget, or here's how it doesn't impact my financial plan to spend some money on myself to feel better. And so really giving people permission to think that way, I think can make a huge difference in their lives.

[Jamie Rowe]

What Sarah's talking about here is clearly not just about accounts or investment transactions. She's concerned with Kristin's entire well being as a person. This is really important to us at Morgan Stanley. So important that we have a full time doctor on staff. Dr. Kim Henderson is Morgan Stanley's associate medical director.

[Dr. Kim Henderson]

I lead our health and wellness education, answering questions about longevity, helping people navigate devastating diagnoses, providing education about children with special needs. So anything under the sun now we.

[Jamie Rowe]

Haven'T brought in other voices to weigh in on issues on this show. But Dr. Kim is really passionate about women's health and the intersection between physical and mental wellness and financial wellness, especially for women like Kristin. We really wanted you to hear from her.

[Dr. Kim Henderson]

As women get closer to perimenopause and menopause, one of the first signs or symptoms that many women develop is a sense of overwhelming concern or anxiety about things that will happen in the future. Well, what's going to happen to me when I get older? What is going to happen to my children? What is going to happen to my family? So you have a woman who's not maybe sleeping as well as she used to. She's got hot flashes, she's got rain, fog. She might break out in a sweat while she's walking down the street. Like, all of these things are very disconcerting. And then you sprinkle in a little bit of financial concern, then you have a perfect storm.

[Jamie Rowe]

So clearly, Kristen is going through something that a lot of women experience.

[Dr. Kim Henderson]

If you stay on this planet long enough as a female, you will go through menopause. Then the question becomes, how do we set ourselves up for success?

[Jamie Rowe]

Dr. Kim knows exactly why Kristen wanted to bring this up with Sarah.

[Dr. Kim Henderson]

There is no separation between physical health and wellness, mental health and wellness, and financial health and wellness. It is all in the same stew. And the reason why menopause is so, so complex is that it's not just physical complaints or just mental complaints. It really is both at exactly the same time. So it's important to reiterate the importance of a plan, to understand what's coming, to make changes as they're necessary, and to revisit. Often women have to talk about this. You cannot fix anything that you can't talk about in medicine, in finances, in life. You need to be able to talk about it early and often to understand what's out there and really have an understanding that you're not alone in this.

[Jamie Rowe]

If you'd like to hear my entire interview with Dr. Kim Henderson, where we dive deeper into the connection between physical and financial health, you'll find [e-mail] MyMoney now, given everything Kristin's experiencing, she wants to explore the possibility of taking her foot off the gas a little bit.

[Kristin]

The idea of retirement is not something I ever think I'm going to say I am retiring from selling real estate. Like, I think it ebbs and flows, and luckily, it's a career where you can do that. But the financial part of that, as you know, has Always been very scary to me. Like, how do you know when enough is enough? How do you know how many more years do we need to keep working in order to achieve a level of financial stability that feels like it will carry me out until I'm 95 years old?

[Sarah]

Yeah. I mean, the good news is there's math for that part. So the financial plan, like inside baseball, the financial plan is made up of how much do you want to spend? We usually use today's dollars, we adjust it for inflation, and we say, okay, ballpark based on what you know today, subject to change whenever you want to change it. What do you have to do to be able to get to that bogey? Right. It's like a super basic math problem. And then we apply a rate of return that's pretty reasonable based on a basic, you know, reasonable quality asset allocation.

[Kristin]

All these terms, I hate them. I just want to know, is there enough money for. For me to continue living the life that we live, along with a few nice perks along the way to the kids and maybe to ourselves? And if I have to go in $12,000 a month assisted living one day, how do I make sure my kids aren't paying that? Like, all the financial terms make my head spin.

[Sarah]

I feel like the answer to your question is yes. And that's why you've hired a financial advisor.

[Kristin]

Yes.

[Sarah]

So to make sure that all of that gets accounted for and what you're really good at and what you've done really well is articulated here are the things I'm worried about and the things I'm thinking about. Make sure it's in there. And then to your point, on the long term piece of it, you know, we're in that sandwich generation where we're in between. Maybe we have kids, maybe we have parents, maybe we're thinking about the financial needs of both at the same time.

[Kristin]

I don't think we've ever talked about that as it pertains to our own health. As to my own health with Ryan, and if I'm being super vulnerable, I'll say that that is on my mind, like, even when I go to my doctor now, and this probably happens to you too, and the doctor's like, okay, what are we worried about? As you know, and you can relate, I lost my father, what was a young age for him, to Alzheimer's, and when I'm at the doctor now, and she's like, what are you worried about with your health? That's a huge part of it for me. Like, how do I not get that how do I not have Alzheimer's and have my children have to take care of me? Like what if somebody needed that for 20 years? What if it's 70 years old, I'm diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I live to be 85 and I'm in a place that is 15 grand a month. That could happen. I pray to God not. But it could, it could.

[Sarah]

That would be a bit of a higher end risk. The typical dementia timeframe is about 7 years. The non dementia long term care is about 4. Nursing care is usually about a year and a half. So, so some of those, you know, there is a math problem for that again and it's factored into your plan. So one of the options that a lot of people think about as it relates to long term care is long term care insurance, which basically says I want to put aside a bucket of money so that if I have to end up in a home for X number of years, we usually plan for six, then there's a bucket of money set aside that's going to help offset the cost with that. And interestingly enough, it's usually women in their 50s and early 60s who come to us and say I want to do this thing or I hurt about this thing. And it comes up either from their peers or they had a parent that they either had to pay for or the parent had the insurance. And how do I also get that? Some people use insurance or sometimes we'll just set aside some money as it relates to their financial plan and investment strategy to make sure it's covered. But yeah, there's a way to do a bucket of health care money.

[Kristin]

Interesting.

[Sarah]

Okay, the, the long term care insurance is in place from day one. It grows over time. You either use it and it deducts from the value that you have there, which is usually a six year policy. If you don't ever need it, it goes as a death benefit to your heirs.

[Kristin]

So if you never end up needing it, if you end up dying like in some sudden death and it becomes a benefit to your children, is it restricted as to what they can use that money for?

[Sarah]

No, it's tax free life insurance. So if you put $100,000 in, I'm making up numbers, and it gives you $150,000 death benefit, then your kids would just get. If they were the beneficiaries, yeah, they would just get $150,000 in cash. Normally for spouses we'd have one, the spouse be each other's beneficiary, but you could always just have it going to the kids.

[Kristin]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

As you're structuring your estate and you're thinking of your assets, that things go appropriately to your kids. And I'm guessing this is another one of your most favorite topics. But just know that when we're thinking through your assets and we're titling them. Right. And maybe we talk to a trust and estate attorney, all of that planning is to make sure that, God forbid something happens to you, your kids are taken care of in an appropriate way.

[Kristin]

In some weird way. It doesn't make me uncomfortable to talk about that, because that's like a. That doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, actually. Like, and I think that is something that we should revisit. Like, I feel like our wills right now are just straightforward. It goes from me to my spouse, if we're not alive, to our children. But it probably should be way more structured in a way that it's not just, hey, here's your lump sum of money at whatever age your parents are no longer on this earth, and that it's structured in a way that aligns with our values and morals towards how we want them to save that money and spend that money and use that money and still work hard to earn their own money and not just be. Be given something potentially.

[Sarah]

So one of the things that we spend time on is thinking about, okay, what are the key questions that we want to make sure that all of those big legal documents with a fancy terminology reflect what we want. And so a couple areas of things to think about. So, first of all, how do you want things to go from one spouse to another and make sure your kids are protected? I don't think a lot of parents don't think about it. But God forbid something happens to me, and my husband gets all of the assets, and then what if he were to get remarried? How do I make sure that my kids are protected?

[Kristin]

Yeah. We do not want the young, hot second wife getting everything I worked for.

[Sarah]

No. Or their kids, necessarily, instead of your own. Right. And so just structuring, like, agreements and so that you just sort of write the question in plain English and then you let the lawyer make sure the documents reflect that. The other thing you brought up is, like, how much money can kids get at what age? A lot of times people will kind of spread it over time, and then where are the guardrails around that? Is there a guardian involved? Is there a corporate trustee involved, like a. Like a company to help administer that?

[Kristin]

Yeah. So if that's something that we want to do, Is that something that now we know it's on the radar, we add it to the to do list. But do you have like some sort of a template? I wouldn't even know what questions to ask. Like some of the things you just said about making sure you do this, or like, do you have a little template to kind of guide that conversation and help us get some sort of document in place that they would. That we would then give to our attorney and he would sort of, you know, type it up or whatever?

[Sarah]

Yeah. So normally we write, we write up a list of questions. I do have templates. The firm has some great resources around that for that conversation.

[Jamie Rowe]

If you'd like to take a look at a list of questions to bring to an estate planning attorney, follow the link in the show notes.

[Sarah]

But specific to my clients, I would say we would come up with a list of questions that I think are things that we want to make sure that get addressed. And then usually we would set up a call, a zoom, a meeting, whatever. And if you're comfortable, I would participate to make sure that the lawyer is speaking plain English instead of sometimes legal English, because that can be one of the tricky parts. You know, they're going to hand you back this 12 page document and you're like, what does this mean? The other thing that we do to help with that is we will then synthesize, you know, our planning document that we use every time we get together, that like sort of plain English document. I will synthesize the legal documents in the back of that in a summary form with any questions that we have to make sure that we kind of like know where is everything? Did we cover this? What does that look like? And it's very easy to go back and add something, change it. Whatever you need to do later on.

[Kristin]

We definitely need to do that. I think that would be very, very valuable to do sooner rather than later just because it gives us more things to think about too. And again, that's not weird to talk about or awkward to talk about. I like that.

[Sarah]

And I'll say one more thing on that, which is not necessarily applicable to this specific conversation, but as a PSA for anybody listening out there, Morgan Stanley is a full service firm. So you get a lot of service with that. When parents are aging. When people are aging and they have self service out there, there's a lot of things that they may not be thinking about that I think are really important to cover. And so part of what we're doing is just making sure all those boxes checked. So that God forbid something happens from a healthcare or worse perspective, the level of effort for the kids and the family is mitigated by having everything in place.

[Kristin]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Kristin, thank you so much for doing this. I'm amazed at the fact that we've been meeting and we've known each other for years, and here we are with new things on our agenda for our next conversation. Planning is like that, I guess. It's iterative, and as you get to different points in your life and you're feeling different ways about different things, we add to the agenda, we change the plan, we modify the plan, we make sure that aligns with. So I think this was such a good conversation and gives us so much fodder for our next official meeting. And I just can't thank you enough for taking the time to share, and.

[Kristin]

I. I so appreciate that. Honestly, I think I've come a long way with you, and I really owe that to you. I. I still don't love talking about it, but at least I feel like I'm a part of the conversations. I feel better about it. I cried last time you came over because you made me feel better about our future and how things look and. And that's really important. So I really. I think the world of you and what you do, and we feel very fortunate to have you on our team and helping to plan our lives. God knows I love a plan. So thank you for being a big part of ours.

[Sarah]

Thanks.

[Jamie Rowe]

So, Kristin, this wasn't the first time you talked with Sarah, obviously. How was that for you this time? And was there anything new, surprising and different that you learned this time around?

[Kristin]

I think the biggest thing I learned, and I actually wrote it down, we were talking, is just the fact that I don't need to have this guilt over spending money that I wanna spend on myself. That was an aha moment when she said that I work really hard and I work really hard to take care of everybody else in my life and making sure that they've got all the things they want. And you know what? That really clicked for me. I don't know why I had never thought that before, but I just hadn't.

[Jamie Rowe]

And how about some of the guidance she had around getting your accounts or even working with your parents to set things up for everybody's comfort?

[Kristin]

Yeah, I love that idea of looping in our attorney and really kind of coming up with a plan of how things would be distributed. And the fact that she said, you know, making sure that if it's not to your spouse, it's directly to your children. I really hadn't thought about that part of it. Again, for me, the values of it is all really important, so making sure it's structured in a way that, yes, there's a cushion for them, but it's not expected by them, and that they still have to work on their own and earn on their own and provide for themselves and learn all those important skills, but that maybe they don't even know about it. There'll be a little downfield block waiting for them if they need it.

[Jamie Rowe]

Amazing Callback well, even if these aren't your favorite topics, Kristin, you clearly care deeply about getting the finances right for you and your family. And it sounds like you and Sarah have a plan to do just that. So I want to thank you for taking the time to do this today and sharing your story so openly with us.

[Kristin]

Thank you for having me too. I enjoyed getting to speak with you and get to know you as well.

[Jamie Rowe]

If you'd like a deeper dive on what was discussed today, or if you're interested in having a financial plan done for you, come see [e-mail] MyMoney I'm Jamie Rowe. Talk to you soon. This material has been prepared for general reference and educational purposes only. It does not provide individually tailored investment advice. It has been prepared without regard to the individual financial circumstances and objectives of persons who receive it. Please see our show notes for a full disclaimer on the information provided.