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- [00:03]
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Before today's lesson begins, ask yourself this. Are you truly educating yourself daily or just repeating the same habits with better excuses? The Self Discipline Hacks Playbook gives you the structure to turn daily lessons into discipline, focus and action. Click the link in the description and begin today.
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I think the women probably have it over on the men when it comes to this sort of sixth sense of being able to tell no matter what the situation looks like. Women have this uncanny gift. I guess men can develop it, but the women already have it. You know, the antenna is out. I mean, they pick up signals nobody else can pick up. I mean, the men don't have a chance. I think part of it is because until the industrialized society came, women were primarily the protectors. The man was the provider, right? He was gone. He was out there getting the game or whatever, and the woman was the protector. So I think the woman has devised these incredible sensitivities to danger and what's going on? What's happening? They're uncanny. Even the Bible says there's sheep and there's the shepherd and then there's the wolves. That's what it says. Life is kind of like that. Shepherd and sheep and wolves. It says also some wolves are so clever, they've learned to dress up like she. And talk like sheep. I guess that's what it says. Some are wolves in what, sheep's clothes? Now, see, you got to be clever, huh? The man says, well, looks like a sheep, talks like a sheep. Woman says, ain't no sheep. I mean, take my word for it. But that's that long developed instinct, I guess, right in the middle of the night, she says, wake up, wake up. Something isn't right out there. He says, right. I mean, he's gone, right? She says, no, no, no. Something, something, right? She just. She has this uncanny sense. So that's part of, you know, being able to read is picking up. Mr. Shelf called it signals. Says we all throw off signals, vibrations, you know, I don't understand all I know about that, but have you heard the expression a dog can tell whether or not you're afraid of him? I guess that's true. We throw off a certain kind of signal and they just animals, right? They just pick it up. They pick it up. They know. And you can't fake them out, right? You can say, I'm not afraid of you. Dog says, who are you kidding, right? I mean, come on. Okay, being able to read, that's so important. Reading your audience, how you're doing. Should you speed up, should you slow down should you change the subject? Should you be a little stronger? Just be more aware of whoever you're talking to, right? Look a little more intently at somebody. Try to pick up what's happening between you and the audience or the person or the child or the business partner. You can't believe how it will affect your ability to communicate. If you'll practice this part of picking up what's happening between you and someone else. Now here's number four. Then we're going to take our first break. The fourth step to good communication is intensity. Strong feelings. Here's what changes the whole effectiveness of good communication. Strong feelings in affecting other people with words. Here's a key breakdown to keep in mind. And it goes like this. To affect other people with words. It's 20% what you know, and it's 80% how you feel. Feelings and emotions changes the whole outcome of communication. Intensity. Words loaded with emotion have the best effect. Words might be like a little straight pin, right? When a guy buys a shirt, right? It's got all these little pins in it right there where they pinned all together. So you start pulling all these straight pins. What if I took one of those straight pins and I threw it at you, this little straight pin, and it reached you, hit you in the face or hit you in the arm, hand somewhere, right? You'd feel it if I threw that little straight pin at you. What if I took that straight pin and wired it to the end of an iron bar about that long, right? And I let you have it with that, see, I could drive that pin right through your heart right? Now, the pin is the words, and the iron bar is the emotions, the feelings, the awareness, the uniqueness of all of that mysterious stuff that humans are made of, if you will, learn to put more of you into what you say. Put more feelings, more awareness, more uniqueness, strength of character, conviction, strong feelings, whatever that is. Just be more aware of putting more of you into whatever you say. That's that iron bar that drives what you say to the heart, to the mind, and gets the job done. Words loaded with emotion. Now, you must also learn to measure your emotions, okay? You don't want a major outburst for a minor point. Learn to measure it, okay? Some conversations or some points may need, right, Just a mild blend of emotional feelings. And then another point may need a strong one. But you got to learn to measure that, okay? Not too much for something minor. You don't want to shoot a cannon at a rabbit, right? It's effective, but you've gotten a more rabbit. So Learn to measure your emotions. Now here's something important. Where does emotion come from? Where do our feelings come from? Here's where they come from. The emotions that can really help in all of your future conversations. Communication. It's the blend of all of your experiences. And how they have affected you. The blend of all of your experiences and how they have affected you. That creates now your emotional content, creates your emotional vitality worth. So that's part of the getting ready experience. On the emotional side, be aware of your feelings. Be aware of your emotions. And as that experience grows, now when you get ready to talk, you've got the blend of knowledge and the blend of feelings to put into your conversation. And that's what creates the power. Now I have one more point and we'll take our break. It says, don't forget to say it. Part of communication is simply being aware that more often than not things need to be said. It's pretty easy to take for granted, especially the people that are close around us, that they already know how we feel. But you got to keep expressing how you feel. Here's a good phrase. Actions are no substitute for words. Now, we've used the other phrase, right? That words are no substitute for action. And that's true. Just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and not acting. See, that's not good. But here's what else is not good. All of the action and no talk. Make sure that the words accompany the action. Don't fail to say it. Probably one of the greatest difficulties in married life is this breakdown in communication. Not clearing the air often enough, not keeping this open dialogue going constantly. One thing I found out. Take nothing for granted. Say, well, surely they understand. Well, just explain it one more time. Just say it one more time. Don't take a chance that whether they know it or not. Bring up the subject again. Make sure it's clear. It's too easy to let it slide and not make it clear. Especially the people around you. Say, how often do you have to tell the people that you love, that you love them? How often? Answer often. Often. We all need reassurance. We all need it to be clear and pointed so that we know there are some things you just don't let go. And there are some actions that will only say certain things they won't say at all. You can give somebody flowers, but flowers won't do all the talking. Flowers say you remembered. That's about. That's probably what flowers say. But flowers don't say. You do incredible things to me. Nobody affects me like you do. Now, see, flowers will talk, but they won't say that. That's the card you've got to put along with the flowers. Let the flowers say whatever they can say, but then don't fail to put the other words with it because the words are so important. Judy gave me this watch back when I had a birthday in 1972, I believe it was, and it was a neat watch. Lecoultre. If all goes wrong, I can cash the watch in and live for a while, right? Judy was always doing things like that. Fabulous watch. Neat, neat gift for my birthday. But see, better than the watch was what she wrote on the back. I appreciated the watch, but the words were better than the watch. On the back she had inscribed, my love for all time, your Judy, September 1972. See, the watch was neat, but the words. She could have put the words on a Mickey Mouse watch. Pardon me, Walt, I didn't mean to downgrade your mouse, but. But see, the words were what was really important. So I'm saying, let actions speak, but make sure the actions don't substitute for the words. Make sure you say it. And if you'll make sure you'll say it, you'll get better at it. You'll get the practice. You'll learn to put more feelings in it. You'll learn to say it well. Say it better and this whole process of communication for you, if you don't treat any of it casually, will start to grow. And you will be even startled in the next few weeks, the next few months, at what happens as a result of your future conversations. If you become more aware of these things that we have just talked about. Sensitivity, fascination, interest, working knowledge, having something good to say, saying it well, reading the effect you're having, and the intensity of strong feelings. Okay, our next subject under communication is how to make a presentation. And whether it's a presentation to a child or a presentation to a business client or a sales presentation or whatever kind of presentation, we're all making presentations all day long, every day. Business, social, personal, whatever. I have four parts to the presentation for you to consider. Here's the first one. Identification. One of the most important parts of the presentation process is identification. Identification is for a new person that you haven't met before. It's getting acquainted, it's breaking the ice. It's building a bridge between you and someone else. Establishing contact, getting somebody's attention. So it's a very important part of the presentation process. Sometimes those first few seconds, sometimes that first minute is just so important to establishing rapport. Establishing contact. Somebody once said, you never have a second chance to make a first impression. So sometimes how those opening seconds go is very important. But that's identification. Getting acquainted. Some people find this easy. Some people find it more difficult. What we're doing is, you know, pointing it out so that you can start working on it deliberately instead of haphazardly or instead of just letting it go, wondering why things aren't going well. We just pick it as a part of the presentation so you can go to work on it. Identification. In identifying with someone, one of the best ways is to pick something you have in common. To get the conversation started with. Somebody mentioned during the break, they attended this leadership seminar up at the ranch. What, you were up there three or four years ago, and everybody got acquainted up there real easy. And the reason is because when you met somebody new, you would say, hi, how are you? Did you get as lost as I did trying to find this place? And it just. Everybody says, yeah, I got lost, too. And that immediately starts this, you know, little more friendly process of getting acquainted, simply because you had a recent experience that you could talk about. So identification is trying to find something you have in common with someone else. You want something that makes you real, something that makes you a person that someone would desire to talk to.