Jocko Underground: Sometimes We See People Treating Kids Horribly. - Jocko Podcast

Summary

Jocko Podcast – Underground #209 Summary
Episode Title: Sometimes We See People Treating Kids Horribly
Date: April 13, 2026
Host: Jocko Willink
Co-Host: Echo Charles

Episode Overview

This episode centers on a listener’s heartfelt question about witnessing child neglect and mistreatment in public, especially after becoming a parent. Jocko Willink and Echo Charles explore the emotional impact of seeing children treated poorly, discuss what individuals can (and cannot) do to help, and examine broader lessons in compassion, discipline, effective intervention, and impacting the world for good—one child at a time.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener’s Question: Dealing with Witnessing Bad Parenting

[00:34 - 01:44]

Background:
A listener describes his hypersensitivity to parents and relatives mistreating children (neglect, junk food, verbal & physical aggression, toxic examples) after his own experiences as a neglected child and now as a father.
Emotional Response:
He finds it deeply upsetting to the point of tears, feeling powerless to help all children who suffer.

2. Jocko’s Response: Controlling Your Sphere of Influence

[01:44 - 08:01]

Acknowledge the Pain:
- “That’s obviously very rough to see.” — Jocko [01:44]
Recognize Limitations:
- “There is just no possible way to help everyone that deserves help.” — Jocko [02:36]
- He stresses that attention and aid must focus where a difference can truly be made.
- “We cannot help everyone. So I think what we can do is try to be positive in the areas and with people that we actually can have an impact on.” — Jocko [03:24]
Combat Analogy:
- Worrying about uncontrollable things distracts from battles you can actually fight and win.
- “You can’t worry about the things you have no control over because you’re focusing on them and it’s going to distract you from the things that you actually do have control over.” — Jocko [03:55]
Refocus on Direct Impact:
- Get involved at the local level (volunteering, after-school mentoring, Big Brother programs).
- “There is so much that we can do. [...] Can we save the world? Nope. But can we help two kids going to the same school that your kid goes to? Yeah, we probably can.” — Jocko [05:56]
- Suggestions: Join or start programs like Big Brothers Big Sisters, scout troops, jiu-jitsu or basketball clubs to help kids directly.

3. The Ripple Effect of Positive Action

[06:56 - 08:01]

Creating Light in Darkness:
- “Just be a light in the world, right? And if you can provide some hope, even in dire situations, that little bit of light that you can give to a kid can help diminish all this darkness.” — Jocko [07:08]
Breaking the Cycle:
- Helping a handful can eventually multiply through the actions of others, leading to real change in the world.
- “This will have an impact over time because 1 or 2 or 3 or 5 or 10 of those kids are going to remember and they’re going to change, and you’re going to break that cycle.” — Jocko [07:37]

4. Echo’s Perspective: Guidance Over Punishment

[08:01 - 09:13]

Sympathy & Reflection:
- Echo relates to the feeling, often seeing discipline cross the line from guidance to punitive.
- “A kid kind of came like that, you know, he didn’t have to get punished in that way.” — Echo [08:32]
Philosophies on Discipline:
- Emphasizes the importance of guiding rather than punishing—especially for mistakes. Advocates teaching the right way over simply punishing for doing the wrong thing.
- “Rather than, oh, you did this, you made this mistake, and now you just get freaking punished ... Just show them the right way.” — Echo [08:57]

5. Research on Spanking and Discipline

[09:13 - 09:56]

Jocko’s Findings:
- Based on his podcast and research, spanking is generally not beneficial and can be counterproductive for relationships and behavioral change.
- “The research that I did ... the spanking, generally speaking, is not beneficial.” — Jocko [09:18]
- Short-term compliance doesn’t outweigh the long-term costs.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Sphere of Influence:
- “We cannot help everyone.... What we can do is try to be positive in the areas and with people that we actually can have an impact on.” — Jocko [03:24]
On Volunteering and Direct Aid:
- “What kind of volunteering can you do? ... You can help these kids out.” — Jocko [04:36-06:56]
On Being a Light:
- “If you can provide some hope, even in dire situations, that little bit of light ... can help diminish all this darkness.” — Jocko [07:08]
On Guiding vs. Punishing:
- “Rather than ... you made this mistake and now you just get punished, just show them the right way.” — Echo [08:57]
On Spanking:
- “The spanking, generally speaking, is not beneficial.” — Jocko [09:18]

Timestamps for Important Segments

[00:34] — Listener question on seeing child neglect and abuse
[01:44] — Jocko’s initial reaction and context
[03:24] — Advice: focus on your sphere of influence
[04:36] — Suggestions for action (volunteering, mentorship)
[07:08] — Creating hope and breaking cycles of negativity
[08:01] — Echo Charles’ thoughts on discipline and guidance
[09:13] — Jocko’s research on spanking and discipline

Takeaway

Jocko and Echo bring empathy, actionable advice, and a hard-earned perspective on dealing with the emotional toll of witnessing child mistreatment. Their bottom line: Focus on where you can truly make a difference—however small—and trust that these positive actions can ripple outwards, helping to break cycles of negativity for future generations.

Transcript

A (0:00)

This is the Jocko Underground podcast number 209. Shout out to Stockton Echo Charles sitting here. Unfortunately not the Diaz brothers, which would be a hell of a lot better.

B (0:13)

Okay.

A (0:13)

They get their take on things. You know what I'm saying?

B (0:17)

That would be.

A (0:17)

Yeah, that would be legit. But we do have Echo Charles, and we do have questions from you all out there in the field on the front lines. We're going to give you courses of action to help you get through and navigate these challenges that you face. So let's get to it.

B (0:34)

Okay, first question. Okay. How to deal with witnessing parents neglecting and or abusing children when I'm out in public? Okay. I was neglected. I was a neglected child of awful parents myself, and now I'm a father of a toddler. I've been getting more and more hypersensitive to witnessing how badly the majority of parents treat their children. Things like parents and relatives feeding small toddlers sugar and junk food, ignoring their fair requests, verbally mistreating them, plain physical aggression, smoking tobacco nearby, provoking toxic, hazardous examples. Oh, sorry. Providing toxic and hazardous examples and environment to children, etc. Etc. Although I make sure I direct my eyes away from people when I'm at places full of families with kids, I still see these things way too often, and it bothers me and I feel there's nothing I can do to help. I can only cry. After becoming a father, a bunch of things change deep inside me and I can't help to see my own child in all children. Please help me.

A (1:44)

Well, yeah, that's obviously very rough to see. And I mean, espe. You know, the one thing you said, like, if you see someone that's physically abusing a kid, obviously you can step in and stop that from happening. Now, do people have different opinions of what physical abuse is? Yeah, because some people think spanking is okay and some people don't. So you got to be even careful with that one. But yeah, seeing these kind of mistreatment is awful. And unfortunately, there are a lot of awful things going in, going on in the world. Whether it's kids that are grievously ill, whether it's elderly that are left on their own, whether it's people experiencing hunger and even starvation, whether it's victims of war or, or other forms of math vi violence, whether it's people that are depressed and, or homeless and, or addicted. Sometimes these are veterans or other people that are vulnerable. So, you know, and, and not to mention, you get into things like animals that are abused and mistreated. So there is so much negativity out there in the world and unfortunately, there is just no possible way to help everyone that deserves help. And do I sound cold blooded when I say that? Okay. I mean, I feel, you know, you feel cold blooded when you say that. It's like we cannot help everyone. So I think what we can do is try to be positive in the areas and with people that we actually can have an impact on. Right. How can you help, help people that you actually have the power to help? And I think when you recognize that, you recognize that there's some people that you cannot help, this is sort of like, you know, you ever heard me talk about, you know, when you're in combat, there's some things you have no control and you can't worry about the things you have no control over because you're focusing on them and it's going to distract you from the things that you actually do have control over. Well, I, again, I don't mean to sound callous, but it's a similar situation here where there are people directly around you that you can help. And. But if you're focused on a bunch of people around the world and around the. Yeah, around the world, around the country that you are like, oh, distraught because they're in a bad situation, you might be missing out on the people that are directly in front of you that you can't help. So I think if you can separate those two, it allows you to focus, it allows you to reach the people that you can reach and it actually allows you to have a real impact, a real impact. So you can have a real impact and you can help so many people. What kind of volunteering can you do? Right? What, what kind of volunteering can you do? What kind of after school mentorship program, what kind of boys club can you join to help? What are those Big Brother program? Like, what are those things that you can do where you can truly have an impact? What about charity? How much can you help out a charity that helps with kids that are in bad situations? I guarantee there's shelters, I guarantee there's problems programs that are out there. I guarantee that there's. That they need money, I guarantee that they need volunteers, I guarantee that they really need help and that if you went and stepped in, you would actually be able to help real, real kids. And I think that the more that you do that, the more you are able to help other people, the more, I think the more that you help comfort other people, the more comfort you will have. So there is so much that, that we can do. And listen again. Can we. Can we save the world? Nope, we can't save the world. But can we help the two kids that are going to the same school that your kid goes to that are not getting the best treatment at home? Can we help those kids? Yeah, we probably can. Are they showing up to school late? Are they showing up to school without pens and pencils to do their homework with? Like, what's going on and how can we help them out? And then you know what? You find out that there's a Big Brother's Big Sisters program, and you get involved with that thing, or maybe you start a Boy Scout thing, and all of a sudden you start a Boy Scout or some kind of a scouting troop or whatever, and all of a sudden you got 10, 12, 14 kids in there and you're putting all them on the right path. So maybe it's a jiu jitsu club, maybe it's a basket after school, basketball, whatever, whatever. The thing is, you can help these kids out. You can help kids out. And I think that is the path you have to be on is just. Just be a light in the world, right? And. And if you can do that, if you can provide some hope, even in dire situations, that that little bit of light that you can give to a kid can help diminish all this darkness. And if you do that, this will have an impact over time because 1 or 2 or 3 or 5 of those or 10 of those kids are going to remember and they're going to change and you're going to break that cycle. And guess what they're going to do? They're going to help 5, 10, 15 kids themselves. And all of a sudden there is some light in these areas of the world that would have been completely dark. So that's my recommendation, man.