Echo Charles (4:09)

Because you're the Navy seal.

Jocko Willink (4:10)

Yeah. Than maybe it is for you. What would you say?

Echo Charles (4:13)

Oh, I would say what you. What you said is correct. I believe the only thing that I might be on a. In a different kind of maybe perspective or whatever is I understand what this guy's saying. Not from a necessarily, oh, that guy was an abc. But you know how I think sometimes we trick ourselves or, I don't know, for some reason have this mis. Like understanding that things that we look up to and respect is something that my fiance or me, even just the woman, but potential girlfriend, whatever, might look up to and like, and be attracted to. So, like, you know, like, guys in the gym, they, like, they put on more weight if a girl is around. You know, like br. Girls do not care how much you can bench. You know, like, they care if you're strong versus, like super weak, of course. But that's sort of it, you know? So if it's like, oh, yeah, this Guy can bench 315, right? Three wheels, hell yeah. Oh, dang. But this other guy, he can do 350. She's not going to be like, oh, I'm no longer attracted to this, you know, it doesn't work like that. You know, And I think we make up these. These myths, like, I say in our head that it's like, oh, this guy is a seal. So, of course, somewhere inside of him, he's like, dang. He kind of looks up to that as an idea, you know, and then. So he just assumes maybe subconsciously that she looks up to it kind of the same way, but just from a, you know, female, know, intimate kind of standpoint. And then he feels like this thing, but it's like, yeah, you're right. It's like, so what does that mean at home? You know, what does that mean as a husband? What? Like he's sick with his weapon. Like, it doesn't make sense. You see what I'm saying?

Jocko Willink (5:46)

Yeah.

Echo Charles (5:46)

So, yeah, and then I think what you said, the. The point of, like, okay, how does this translate into being a fiance, husband, dad, or whatever? As a Navy SEAL, you said the 90% divorce rate is kind of like, okay, that's actually a more of a factor than all these cool missions he probably went on. And as cool or may or may not have gone. May or not. Okay. You know, even. There you go. Even additional stuff, you know, to kind of consider. So. So, yeah, you know, makes sense. I mean. Yeah, that. That delusion, I think, is. Is.

Jocko Willink (6:17)

Did you. Did you ever see the movie? I think it's the movie Meet the Fockers, or it's Meet the Parents. And Owen Wilson, he plays, like, the ultimate ex boyfriend, and the. The Robert De Niro, like, loves him. And I just remember that scene where he's like. He un. He unveils the. The. Like the Hopa. What is it called?

Echo Charles (6:43)

Well, they call it a Hopa, but it's a. The what? You get married, right?

Jocko Willink (6:46)

Yeah, like the altar. And he's like, oh, my gosh, like, how much time did he say? And he's like, oh, it took me 135 man hours. But, you know, to me it's just working with your hands and, you know, if it's good enough for jc, it's good enough for me. He was a carpenter, too. Just everything he says is just so perfect. And what's his name? Ben Stiller, who's just the. The lower level dude in this scenario. But the fact of the matter is, who's she getting married to? She's with Ben Stiller, despite his, you know, gross shortcomings in comparison to Owen Wilson, who plays the perfect dude.

Echo Charles (7:29)

Yeah.

Jocko Willink (7:29)

So it's kind of the same thing.

Echo Charles (7:31)

Oh, it actually I'll do you. You're more right than you know. I think that was literally an illustration of this exact concept where. But the way they did it was way more appropriate than the Navy SEAL thing, because just like I said, the Navy SEAL thing, it's like that. That's. You're comparing apples to oranges. Like, a badass dude versus a badass husband is like two different things, you know, in this situation. But in that movie, they chose the things that girls tend to look up. You know, this guy, like, if you look at the. If you watch that scene, there's pictures of them skydiving together, doing all these adventurous things, you know, and he's like. He made all this money, which is a known thing, attraction, like, point for girls, you know, so he's super rich, you know, and all this stuff he does all this, like, interesting stuff, you know, he's a handsome dude or whatever, and the dad likes him. Everyone likes him, you know, so it's. It's kind of like he has a point to be.

Jocko Willink (8:22)

Do you remember by chance why they weren't together anymore?

Echo Charles (8:25)

No.

Jocko Willink (8:25)

Like, what. What went wrong?

Echo Charles (8:27)

She's. If I remember correct, she said something. Oh. She just simply said, I wasn't in love with him. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's all she said.

Jocko Willink (8:35)

Damn. Yeah. So there you go. It's a good comparison, though, right? And in Ben Stiller's mind, he thinks like, bro, I. I can't compete with this dude. But she literally doesn't even love Owen Wilson.

Echo Charles (8:47)

Yeah.

Jocko Willink (8:47)

And I'm sorry that I don't know the character names, and I'm not trying to attribute these attributions to the actual humans, even though. Oh, and Wilson, dude, that guy's freaking out, dude.

Echo Charles (8:56)

Because he was like. And that guy just says, in general, he does a really good job in, like, you know, playing these characters, but they add these little details that it's like, it would make you super freaking, whether it be jealous, insecure, whatever. Because he'll be like, oh, yeah, she was a tom cat. We had some wild times. And he kind of goes in and thinks about it to himself. And then Ben Stiller, he's looking at him like. And then. And then he's like, they were playing volleyball. And then she was like. And they were on the same team, the Owen Wilson and the girl. And she was like. He was like, hey, good job, Iceman. Or they had nicknames for each other. That's when he got jailed. He finally got jealous or whatever. Bro, I'm telling you, that's Real, though.

Jocko Willink (9:43)

But here's the thing, man. And this is where you got to kind of get. You got to get control of the. To get control of the. Of the damn. Of the damn steering wheel here, right? Cuz you got to steer away from, like, this jealousy and this insecurity, bro. You got to steer away from that because it is in its own right, what the weakness is.

Echo Charles (10:02)

Yeah.

Jocko Willink (10:03)

You know, does that make sense? Like, if you're insecure, that is the insecurity, Right. The insecurity isn't that this guy might be bigger, stronger, faster, taller, richer than you, that none of that matters. What actually matters is the one thing that you have control over is. Is like, are you going to act insecure?

Echo Charles (10:19)

Yeah.

Jocko Willink (10:20)

Because if you are, then throw. You. You break up with her because nothing. It's not going to be good. But if you can be like, oh, cool, I get it. Might be a little bit jealous of that shit, but I'm going to kind of. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna make a deal out. I'm certainly not gonna act it out. Which means you have to stay detached enough from your own little control system that you don't steer it the wrong way, you know? Well, I don't know. Well, I don't want to go to a party if he's going to be there. You see what I'm saying?

Echo Charles (10:46)

Yeah, fully.

Jocko Willink (10:47)

Or no, I don't want to go see this movie about, About Navy seals. Might make you think of Fred or. You know what I mean? Like, if you do that, you're, you're just, you're, you're. You're revealing the one thing that actually could matter.

Echo Charles (11:02)

Yeah. Yeah.

Jocko Willink (11:03)

In a negative way. If you're like, bro, yeah, you know, if you just go, yeah, I'll go see that. And she goes, you know, that reminds me of that guy Fred. And you go, oh, who? Well, like, I dated a guy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. If you say it like that, she's all good. If you say it like, well, I don't want to see another one of these movies. It's gonna make you think of him. Like, you're just pathetic.

Echo Charles (11:22)

Yeah.

Jocko Willink (11:23)

So don't do that. Get control your Stingray. And listen, I'm not saying you're gonna feel the pull. You won't feel the pull of the steering wheel. Yeah, I, I get it. It's part of new nature, right? Part of nature. You're looking around, you're going to be jealous. You're going to be resentful. You're going to have all those things, but you don't. You don't let that feeling. So that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen, go to Jocko underground.com and subscribe. And we're doing this. We're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms so we are not subject to their control. And we are doing this so that we can support the Jocko podcast, which will remain as is free for all as long as we can keep it that way. But we, but we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors. And we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us. And to do that, we are, we're building a website right now where we'll be able to utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us. So thank you. It's Jocko underground.com it costs $8.18 a month. And if you can't afford to support us, we can still support you. Just email assistanceacounderground.com and we'll get you taken care of. Until until then, we will see you mobilized Underground.