Jocko Underground: Do You Have Emotional Discipline | Grown Kids Are Not Adults Sometimes

Summary

Detailed Summary of "Jocko Underground: Do You Have Emotional Discipline | Grown Kids Are Not Adults Sometimes"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Jocko Podcast
• Host/Author: Jocko DEFCOR Network
• Episode: Jocko Underground: Do You Have Emotional Discipline | Grown Kids Are Not Adults Sometimes
• Release Date: January 6, 2025
• Description: Retired Navy SEAL, Jocko Willink, and Director Echo Charles discuss discipline and leadership in business, war, relationships, and everyday life.

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Introduction

In Episode 150 of the Jocko Underground podcast, host Jocko Willink engages in a profound discussion with Echo Charles about the intricacies of emotional discipline. Addressing questions from their community of troopers, the conversation delves into why managing emotions often proves more challenging than maintaining physical discipline and explores strategies to cultivate emotional resilience.

Key Discussion Points

1. The Challenge of Emotional Discipline

The episode opens with Echo Charles presenting a listener's question that contrasts the simplicity of physical discipline with the complexity of emotional control.

• Echo Charles [00:12]: "The rub for me is on the emotional front. It's not as easy as the practice of discipline."

Echo highlights the difficulty in not just reacting emotionally but in preventing emotions from being affected by external factors, such as a partner's actions or a toxic work environment.

• Echo Charles [00:10]: "I know getting butthurt about my girlfriend's actions doesn't serve anything, but they still come."

2. Recognizing Emotional Triggers as Weakness

Jocko acknowledges the listener's self-awareness in identifying emotional triggers as a form of weakness, emphasizing that succumbing to these triggers does not aid personal growth.

• Jocko Willink [01:10]: "Getting triggered is an emotional weakness. And, and if you succumb to that, it's not going to help you."

He refers to the concept from the book "Mind Games," suggesting that anger issues often stem from low self-esteem.

• Jocko Willink [01:39]: "If you have anger issues, that means it comes from low self-esteem."

3. The Detachment Protocol

Jocko introduces the "detachment protocol" as a systematic approach to managing emotional responses:

• Take a Step Back: Physically and mentally distancing oneself from the triggering situation.

• Breathing Techniques: Taking a deep breath to calm immediate reactions.

• Counting to Ten: Allowing time for emotions to subside before responding.

• Strategic Thinking: Focusing on long-term outcomes rather than short-term emotional reactions.

• Jocko Willink [02:20]: "So you start to get triggered for your... The word that you use. You start to feel your emotions peak, you know, take a step back, literally, take a step back from the situation."

4. Parallels Between Mental and Physical Strength

Drawing parallels between mental and physical disciplines, Jocko emphasizes that just as one trains the body to resist physical weaknesses, the mind must be trained to resist emotional vulnerabilities.

• Jocko Willink [03:00]: "Do you want to be emotionally weak? Do you want to be mentally weak? No, you don't want to be. It's the same thing."

He stresses that maintaining control over emotions leads to stronger relationships and professional growth.

5. Practical Applications in Relationships and Work

Using real-life examples, Jocko illustrates how uncontrolled emotional responses can negatively impact personal relationships and career progression. He advises that logical decision-making, rather than emotional reactions, leads to more favorable long-term outcomes.

• Jocko Willink [05:00]: "If you make that logical decision, fine. Oh, yeah, I'm at my work, my boss, I don't like his leadership style. And you leave, storm out one day and quit now you don't have a job. Is that good? No, it isn't."

6. Avoiding Petty Triggers

The conversation touches on the importance of not letting minor annoyances dictate one's mood or actions. Jocko advises focusing on significant issues rather than trivial frustrations to maintain emotional stability.

• Jocko Willink [07:55]: "If you're getting road rage, you got issues. If you're getting mad because... What is that noise?"

He suggests implementing more meaningful engagements in life to mitigate reliance on insignificant triggers.

Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Jocko Willink and Echo Charles underscore the importance of emotional discipline as a cornerstone for success in various facets of life. By adopting strategies like the detachment protocol and prioritizing logical responses over emotional reactions, individuals can enhance their mental strength and maintain control over their personal and professional relationships.

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Notable Quotes:

• Jocko Willink [01:10]: "Getting triggered is an emotional weakness. And, and if you succumb to that, it's not going to help you."

• Jocko Willink [02:20]: "This is the detachment protocol... take a big breath."

• Jocko Willink [03:00]: "Do you want to be emotionally weak? Do you want to be mentally weak? No, you don't want to be."

• Jocko Willink [05:00]: "If you make that logical decision... No, it isn't [good]."

• Jocko Willink [07:55]: "If you're getting road rage, you got issues."

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This episode offers valuable insights into developing emotional resilience, emphasizing that true discipline extends beyond physical capabilities to encompass the management of one's emotional landscape.

Transcript

[A]

This is the Jocko Underground podcast number 150, sitting here with Echo Charles. Have some good questions from the troopers?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So let's get into it.

[B]

All right, first question. I found the practice, the practice of discipline, easy to understand. You have control over your actions. You want to get fit. You go to the gym, you want to eat clean, you only buy healthy food. The rub. The rub for me is on the emotional front. It's not as easy as the practice of discipline. I can want to not let things affect me and just let them go, but the emotions don't respond to my demands. I know getting butthurt about my girlfriend's actions doesn't serve anything, but they still come. I know that allowing resentment for my boss's toxicity won't help me, but there it is. I'm pretty good at containing my reactions, at least to the extent I don't lash out ever. But what's the point of going through life all lit up with triggers like a Christmas tree, just to tell yourself, at least you're not outwardly reacting? Specifically, what is actual, what's the actual process of not allowing yourself to be affected?

[A]

You know, that's good. I mean, first of all, it's good that he's, he's recognizing that getting triggered is an emotional weakness. And, and if you succumb to that, it's not going to help you. This is, this is actually. You told that story. I think you read a book called Mind Games and it told you in that book that if you lose your temper, then what did it say you? Or if you. What is it?

[B]

What was it you have? Oh, yeah. If you have anger issues, that means it comes from low self esteem.

[A]

There you go. And so you decided you weren't going to get mad anymore. So that's kind of what I think here. You know, when I, when, when I look at this. In some ways, a lack of self control over your emotions shouldn't be that hard to contend with because it's literally inside your own head. You're not squatting, you're not doing 20 rep squats. No, you're not, not doing hill sprints, you're not swinging a kettlebell. So it's, it's, it's just this little tiny thing inside your head. All you have to do is just control your emotions. So that seems like it should be pretty easy. But if you don't have the discipline to do that, then does it really matter if you can squat a lot if you're a freaking idiot? I'm not Calling you an idiot, bro. What I'm saying, you have to learn this. This is detachment. This is the detachment protocol, right? So you start to get triggered for your. The word that you use. You start to feel your emotions peak, you know, take a step back. Literally, take a step back from the situation. Literally. Look around, open up your field of view. Literally. Take a big breath. Your mom or your dad told you. You start to get mad, count to 10. If you got a count to 10, count to 10, nod your head and listen and don't say a word. That's the protocol. I've done that a thousand times. Then what I would think about here is I would. When you're. When you're now taking a breath and thinking, I would think about a strategic thought. What is going to help you in the long term? How are you going to win in the long term? How are you going to have a good relationship with your girlfriend? Is it gonna be if you, like, ignore the fact that she's did something that annoys you and now you're kind of grumpy? Dirt. Is that gonna help you? Is that gonna be a good relationship? No. Is it gonna help you get promoted at boss. At work? If your boss. Your boss's toxicity and you're resenting it, you're holding it in, but you still like, dude, that's not good for you. It's not good for you. It's not good for your relationship with your girlfriend. It's not good for getting promoted or get building your relationship with your boss. Here's a question. Do you want to win or not? Do you want to win or not? Do you want to let other people control you? Do you want to let other people control you? Because if they can make you angry, they're controlling you. Do you want to be weak? Because this is a weakness. It's a weakness. That's what I feel like that transition that you made in your life was you realized I've always said, you know, losing your temper is a weakness, but for you, it was like losing your temper shows insecurity. And that was enough to make you. Oh, yeah, I'm not. I'm not playing that game.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not gonna let that happen. So don't. Don't allow yourself that weakness. Do you want to be weak or do you want to be a disciplined, strategic thinker? You want to be. Or do you want to be a short term lizard brain? Right, the lizard brain. The lizard brain is just reacting to what, like survival instincts? That's all it's doing. Has no Frontal cortex. That's what it's doing, and that's what you're doing. Not you echo, Charles, but you question. Ask her. Your lizard brain is just going off, man. So if you think about. If you think about you. You mentioned that, you know, in the physical world, this is pretty easy for you, right? You want to be in shape. You don't want to be weak. You don't want to be sick. You don't want to. You want to have the strength and the discipline and control over yourself. That's why you're working out. That's why we're being strong. This is the same thing. Do you want to be emotionally weak? Do you want to be mentally weak? No, you don't want to be. It's the same thing. You get control. You become mentally strong. You don't allow these little things to bother you. And this is a key component. What are you letting bother you? Like, what matters? You should be. And listen, people say, this is. People will take this and be like, oh, you. What are you trying to say? We should have no emotions? No, I'm not saying you just have no emotions, but there should be very few things that drive you to become emotional. Like, if you're getting a road rage, you go to issues. If you're getting mad because the girl in front of you in the grocery store is taking too long, you got issues. If you're getting mad because you're. Let's see, you got a girlfriend or a wife? Girlfriend. Are you getting mad because your girlfriend. What did she do wrong? You know, she showed up late. Hey, we're supposed to leave at 4. It's 4:18. Like, is that going to make you mad? And if it makes you mad and now you make an emotional decision about it, was it good? You know? Now if you made a logical decision, you know what? I don't know if we. I don't know if this girl, she's continually late, she doesn't care about the things that I care about. That's probably not the best relationship to maintain. If you make that logical decision, fine. Oh, yeah, I'm at my work, my boss, I don't like his leadership style. And you leave, storm out one day and quit now you don't have a job. Is that good? No, it's not good. But if you say, you know what, maybe I should start getting my resume together. And if you make a logical decision, that's fine. But if you allow these little annoyances to dictate your mood and your actions, that's just terrible. And it sounds like you've got your actions controlled, but even if they're controlling your mood, even if you're walking around with pent up anger instead of being like, yeah, whatever, I cannot tell you the number of things in a day that I go, what is that noise? Does that noise have a name? You know what it is? Yeah, but you know, some noises have a name. Like a sigh, like, yeah, like that has a name or a few. That's a, that's a name, right?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But what, what's the name of the noise? But you know it, right? It's the thing.

[B]

Yes, sir, it is.

[A]

I in my head do that all day long. Not much I can do about it. Not going to worry about it. Kind of out of my control. Not going to really impact the way my life is, you know, oh, you're yelling and screaming at me because you're late for work and I'm the car in front of you. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yes, I do, actually. It's good.

[A]

It's just like, what are you gonna do? So I would, for this dude in particular, I would implement more into your life and we'll try and figure out if that thing has a name, that noise. I say that a lot. I don't say it out loud, but man, there's some. Hey, especially in this day and age because you can go online, bro. People are like losing their minds online.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And things that literally don't matter at all, things that are happening thousands of miles away from them and may or may not be true. So, yeah, implement more in your life and I think you're gonna be in a better spot.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's a real, it's like a real dismissive expression.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I guess it is.

[B]

Yeah. So I, I'll get in trouble in a playful way from my lovely wife by saying it is what it is, but I say it kind of with that tone right there, you know? You know how like if someone's coming to you with something and they're kind of like fired up about it? Not terribly necessarily, but you know, like when someone comes to you and they're on the emotional side about something, there is a small unwritten expectation that you're going to kind of reflect at the very least. Right. So I'm not necessarily talking about the reflect and diminish. If you just dim it, this is what it turns out to be. Just diminish. Right. So it's like, yeah, yeah, or no, that's dismissing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I, so I say it is what it is. It's like. But I think I do do that thing. It is what it is.

[A]

Notice I said multiple times, not out loud.

[B]

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yes.

[A]

I said that multiple times for a reason.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

By the way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because if you. If your wife says, you know, if your wife shows up late. And there you go. That's a little taste of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. And if you want to listen to the whole thing, go to jockounderground.com and subscribe. And we're doing this. We're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms so we are not subject to their control. And we are doing this so that we can support the Jocko podcast, which will remain as is free for all as long as we can keep it that way. But we. But we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors. And we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us. So thank you. It's Jocko underground dot com. It cost $8.18 a month. And if you can't afford to support us, we can still support you. Just email assistance at jockounderground. Com and we'll get you taken care of. Until then, we will see you mobilized Underground.