Jocko Underground: How to Get a Higher Salary | Get Your Kids In Line

Summary

Jocko Underground Podcast Episode 144: "How to Get a Higher Salary | Get Your Kids In Line"

Release Date: November 11, 2024
Hosts: Jocko Willink and Echo Charles

In this episode of the Jocko Underground Podcast, hosts Jocko Willink and Echo Charles delve into the dynamics of family life, discipline, and leadership, offering insights that resonate both in personal relationships and professional settings. The conversation seamlessly transitions from everyday family interactions to addressing profound challenges faced by listeners, providing a comprehensive discussion on maintaining discipline and fostering strong familial bonds.

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Family Dinner Dynamics

The episode opens with Jocko and Echo discussing their family dinner routines. Jocko inquires about whether they have family dinners and how often they occur.

Echo Charles (00:09):
"Yeah. 80% of the time."

They emphasize the importance of regular family meals, highlighting that maintaining a routine fosters communication and understanding among family members. The conversation touches on typical dinner table topics, such as school activities and personal achievements, which serve as avenues for building stronger relationships.

Echo Charles (00:22):
"Normal stuff, like, I.E., school for the kids. You know, make jokes. I think a lot of the time. Yeah."

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Children Bringing Unique Perspectives

Jocko shares an anecdote about his daughter's unexpected contribution to a family dinner conversation, showcasing how children can offer unique and thought-provoking insights.

Jocko Willink (01:32):
"And my daughter, she just goes, you know, Ronnie Coleman's body fat was 0.33% at his lowest."

This remark sparks a meaningful discussion about the depth and diversity of children's interests and observations. Echo appreciates how children, despite their young age, perceive the world differently and often bring fresh perspectives to everyday topics.

Echo Charles (01:28):
"Because they observe stuff and they only live for, I don't know, in my case, like, eight years, eleven years, been living on this earth. So they see things through a different lens."

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The Significance of Attention to Detail

The hosts delve deeper into the importance of children paying attention to specific details, using the example of Ronnie Coleman's body fat percentage. They discuss how such knowledge reflects a disciplined and focused mindset.

Jocko Willink (03:14):
"So that's just a good indicator, you know, because look, these days, this day and age, you don't know what your kids are learning about."

Echo adds that despite the vast and often overwhelming information available online, it's commendable when children focus on constructive and meaningful topics.

Echo Charles (04:08):
"Ronnie Coleman wasn't playing around... Ronnie Coleman was from our era, he's old school."

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Navigating Modern Interests and Challenges

The conversation shifts to broader topics such as the influence of the internet on children's interests and the challenges parents face in guiding them through the vast amount of information available.

Jocko Willink (05:27):
"That's when you're throwing out 0.33% kind of a deep cut."

They explore the concept of "deep cuts," referring to obscure or highly specific knowledge, and how such interests can reflect a child's commitment and passion in certain areas.

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Listener Q&A: Addressing Family Trauma and Healing

In the Q&A segment, Jocko and Echo respond to a heartfelt question from a listener seeking advice on helping his wife recover from a deeply traumatic and abusive family environment. The listener describes his wife's struggles with PTSD, rekindled abuse upon reconnecting with her oppressive mother, and the resulting emotional turmoil affecting their marriage.

Listener's Question Highlights:

• Wife experienced physical, verbal, and emotional abuse justified by religious beliefs.
• Initial recovery after moving away was reversed upon returning home.
• Ongoing harassment from the mother and involvement of a young niece contributing to the trauma.
• Wife's resistance to therapy and increasing distrust.

Jocko Willink (13:00):
"There's a word that gets thrown around all the time... the word is toxic. Yeah, like, oh, that person's toxic... Your wife’s mom seems like a legitimately toxic human."

Jocko emphasizes the severity of the abusive environment, referring to the mother as "legitimately toxic," and underscores the necessity of professional intervention to navigate such deep-seated trauma. He likens seeking professional help to needing a skilled mechanic for a complex car problem, highlighting that overcoming such challenges often requires expert assistance.

Echo Charles (07:03):
"What kind of questions are the kids or anyone really bringing up?... Are they constructive questions, you know, or is it... celebrity gossip or something like this?"

Echo further explores the listener's dilemma, discussing the impact of negative and toxic influences on individuals and the importance of fostering an environment conducive to healing and growth.

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Jocko and Echo weave together personal anecdotes and listener interactions to provide a nuanced perspective on discipline, leadership, and overcoming adversity. Their candid discussion about family dynamics and addressing severe trauma offers valuable lessons for listeners navigating similar challenges in their own lives.

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Note: This summary excludes promotional content and focuses solely on the substantive discussions presented in the episode.

Transcript

[A]

This is the Jocko Underground podcast, number 144, sitting here with Echo Charles. So do you. Do you eat dinner as a family?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How often?

[B]

80% of the time.

[A]

Okay, cool. That's good. Solid. What do you guys talk about?

[B]

Normal stuff, like, I. E. School for the kids. You know, make jokes. I think a lot of the time. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, kind of what's going on nowadays with, you know, this kid. That kid.

[A]

Oh, like. Like, yeah. Like, Jessica is trying out for this play or whatever, this kind of thing.

[B]

We're right. Not. No, not other kids, just our kids.

[A]

Oh, your own.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So you know how school. You know, that kind of stuff. Yeah. I mean, it really depends, but. Yeah.

[A]

Have you ever just like, one of your kids just brought something up and you're like, all right, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kind of fired up for that?

[B]

Yes. So I can't think of anyone off the top of my head, but yes. Because I always do understand or impressed with, you know, how, like, certain. You know, when kids, they observe stuff and they only live for, I don't know, in my case, like, 8 years, 11 years, been living on this earth. So they see things through a different lens, a little bit different perspective, so they'll notice certain things more than other things, so they want to ask questions about this very specific thing within a. You know, and. Yeah. So that becomes interesting. Yes.

[A]

So I'm kind of building this up, but something happened at my dinner table the other night.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So right now, you know, I got a lot of kids out of the house. Right. We basically have one girl. One girl. My. My youngest daughter left. And we're sitting there, you know, we're eating, and sometimes when the food hits the table, there's not much talking. Maybe it's more eating. You know what I mean? Everyone's hungry.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We've been working out. We've been training, you know. So anyways, we're sitting there and. Same stuff that you're talking about school, how's the class, how's the thing, you know, my wife be. You know, talking about something, whatever, and then there's just like a. There was this pause, like, no one was really saying anything for, like, one minute. It's a long time in dinner. But, you know, I'm eating, you know, eating a steak, and then my daughter, she just goes, you know, Ronnie Coleman's body fat was 0.33% at his lowest.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And when she said that, I was like, you know what? I just. It was such an awesome moment. You know what I'm saying, had I told you that.

[B]

Yeah, I do remember.

[A]

It's legit.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Here we are. My daughter's a 15 year old girl.

[B]

Look.

[A]

And she, look, does she wrestle? Sure, she wrestles.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, but. And she works out, you know, but let's face it, Ronnie Coleman, he's from our era, he's old school.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And to just bring up at dinner, just at dinner. You know what I want to talk about? You know what I want to talk about as a family right now? I want to talk about Ronnie Coleman's lowest body fat percentage point, 33%. And I have facts for you, by the way, I'm a drop.

[B]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[A]

So that's just a good indicator, you know, because look, these days, this day and age, you don't know what your kids are learning about.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Apparently they learn about Ronnie Coleman's body fat percentage. So I guess, you know, we always talk smack about the algorithm and this isn't like a benefit. I'm not, I'm not giving credit to the algorithm. But at some point, you know, if your daughter is searching Ronnie Coleman body fat percentage, you know, you're something's, something's good in the world.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It is true. Because there's a, there, there are a lot of things on the Internet that are worse to be impressed by for a 15 year old girl then, you know, Ronnie Coleman at his best, let's face it.

[A]

Because let's face it, if you're looking at body fat percentage, you're also checking out like max squat.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're like, you know, because he lifted heavy too, by the way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Ronnie Coleman wasn't playing around.

[B]

No. Yeah, exactly. Right. And yeah, you can kind of deduce how she arrived.

[A]

He was a police officer. He was just so, so jacked.

[B]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Her, that, that element of history that she, you know, experienced. Yeah, we're happy with that one for sure. Yeah. The. Because sometimes and even like. Okay, so she's into wrestling too, which is already she's on the right track. Because. Because let's face like a normal. I don't want to say normal because I don't know what normal is. But let's say it stands to reason that sometimes a 15 year old girl can look at or take interest in certain things on the Internet and to bring to the dinner table and it'll be really like, are we that happy that she's into that?

[A]

You know, you ever heard, you ever heard the term deep cut? Deep cut, like, like you talking about a band and it's not the band's top, you know, single, or not even really their top album, or maybe not even. It's sort of like some deep cut from way, way in the past, you know, like no one knows this song. It's a B side of a single that got released before the band made it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And there's only a certain number of printings.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a deep cut, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's when you. You're throwing out 0.33% kind of a deep cut.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Especially for her.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[B]

Like, if I came out with that, you'd have been like, oh, that's cool. You know, honestly, even if you said.

[A]

That, I would be like, okay. Like if you sat down at dinner and you just threw that into the mix, I would be kind of fired up, to be honest with you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Even for you to say that.

[B]

Yeah. It lands a different look.

[A]

You're into lifting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, you're into Ronnie Coleman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So. But if you threw out out of the blue, by the way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This means you were out in another world. I'm in one world. That you're in another world. And just bring that into the scene.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. It lands a lot different from your 15 year old daughter.

[A]

I am saying, though, this is. I'm trying to explain how deep of a cut that is. Even if. Echo, Charles, if you and I went out for dinner and there was a buffet and I was sitting there eating and you returned from the buffet, you sat down and that's what you opened with. I've been like, okay, I'm, you know, there's a reason I hang around with this guy and it's for this type of activity right here, because he's bringing in a statement. Kind of random.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We weren't, we weren't talking about bodybuilding. We weren't talking about working out. We weren't talking about any. We weren't talking about body fat percentage. It was just on her mind.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's good. There you go. All right, that's. That's my topic for the week, man.

[B]

Impressive.

[A]

You know, let's. Let's give credit where credit is due.

[B]

Yeah. Fully.

[A]

Ronnie Coleman.

[B]

That does bring up a kind of a good question, though, I think kind of maybe, you know, maybe a stretch, but maybe not. It is a good question. Like, what kind of questions are the kids or anyone really bringing up? Not so, I mean, whether it be out of the blue or otherwise? What are they bringing up, you know, are they constructive questions, you know, or is it. Are they talking about the latest celebrity gossip or something like this, you know?

[A]

Is celebrity gossip that much of a thing right now?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, seems like, it seems like when before. It seems like back in the day. It seems like back in the day when they needed news, they would just fabricate, you know, gossip from the celebrities. Seems like there's so much more interesting news that people don't really care too much about the celebrities as much as they used to.

[B]

Well, I, I think. And what do I know? I don't know. I'm like you, I'm like everyone else where I'm a recipient, a recipient of my algorithmic output from the. The Internet. Yeah. You watch, do you watch TV news at all? The Local 5, San Diego, occasionally it'll.

[A]

Pop up on my YouTube. Yeah, if I go to news on YouTube, it'll be like San Diego news.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there'll be some one story that I might be a little bit interested in and I might click on it. But no, I'm not tuning in. That ain't happening.

[B]

I'm fairly certain that celebrity gossip in that whole thing is still a thing. But since there's so much other news that you. And you know, if you're not part of that algorithm, I don't think you, you'll see it as much. So it might seem that way. But yeah, TMZ is still going hard. I don't know. I hear a lot about Kanye West. I don't know it's like that kind of stuff. But I think you're mean, you're in the same boat. We're not really into that stuff, even if it does show up.

[A]

So if it was in our out, if we were more into it, it'd be more in draw algorithmic. We'd know more about it.

[B]

I think so, yeah. Cuz my wife sometimes will watch those Real Housewives shows and I'll like come in, you know, kind of done for the day and then she'll be kind of watching it and she, she calls it in the background, you know, while she like does some other stuff. But I'll come in and like watch it.

[A]

And you post up.

[B]

Yeah, I'll post up for sure. Yeah. And I'll like, I'll watch it for a little bit and you know, come on. It's hard to take this, the show seriously, you know. So you know, I start talking some trash and she's like, hey, I Don't I feel way different when you watch it with me? Because this is just background, like, drama, fun background noise. And now you're into it. Like, it's supposed to be some, like, important.

[A]

You're critiquing their thought process.

[B]

Yeah, the whole deal. But I'm like. I'm, like, watching it like it's this show. Like, I'm here to watch this show, you know, kind of thing. And so now I got to evaluate it as such, so to speak. So it's like this girl's mad about this, and she. And then so she starts getting into it, telling me about, oh, yeah, because she did this. She's mad at this. She's mad at this. And then I looked it up, and she. And he was like, bro, you looked this up? Like, bruh. I'm like, I guess it is a thing, you know, I didn't look it.

[A]

Up, but it's out there.

[B]

It's out there. I believe so.

[A]

Well, hopefully your kids can do something cool and they bring something cool to the table.

[B]

Y.

[A]

My daughter brought something cool to the table.

[B]

You know, Lee Haney is. Yeah, he was another legend. Yeah, yeah, he solid, too.

[A]

D. Well, there's a lot of those guys that were jacked.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Tom Platts, he's still out there just getting after.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Quadzilla. That's what we call him.

[A]

All right, let's get into some Q A.

[B]

All right. Q A. This one kind of goes hard. Okay.

[A]

Got an opener? Here we go.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Firstly, thank you for the great content. You both have shown this trooper how to get on the path and stay there. All you do is. All that you do is appreciate it. Thank you. All right, I'm writing to see if you have any advice on how to help my wife. She comes from a very religiously oppressive household and has a mother who was, during my wife's childhood, physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive. Using her religious beliefs to justify her treatment of her children, we got married young and moved away after many years. She was able to rebuild communication over the phone and appeared happy that her mother had seemed to change. Later, we decided to move back to our home hometown and reconnect with the family. This proved disastrous. The change that her mother had made only lasted until we arrived. Mother returned almost immediately to her verbal and emotional abuse, and my wife broke down. Much of the PTSD she had to. She had overcome, returned, and she fell back into a mental state that took us years to get her out of the first time. We moved away again recently after only Staying a year and a half. However, her mother's continuing her abusive behavior via harassing phone calls and has even recruited her niece, 13 years old, to send her text saying, my wife is hurting her, the niece. So boom, wife's hurting the niece by not being there. This has resulted in a lot of pain and trauma that I'm having a hard time helping her fight. She recently watched podcast number 447447 Linda McFarland with me on YouTube in the hopes of seeing how strong, how strong Christian women should and can be, but had to stop mid podcast as she had real time, had a real time panic attack when she found the words to express what caused her anxiety to spike her. Her answer was, how do we know she's not torturing her family when no one is around? Undoing her trauma was an incredibly hard fight the first time for both of us. I'm now unsure how to help. Help her see that she can move on and heal again. She is at the point where she is becoming easily triggered and distrustful of others, even those who are upright. Good examples of her faith, of their faith. We discussed therapy, but she's resistant as her distrust is running very deep. Any advice you can give me to help her would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's rough and that's terrible that people have to live through those kind of things. And yeah, you know, the. There's a word that gets thrown around all the time. It gets thrown around way too often. And the word is toxic. Yeah, like, oh, that person's toxic. This person's toxic, and it gets thrown around too often. Most people aren't toxic. They're just like, you know, they have a bad attitude or they're negative or whatever. This, your. This wife's mom seems like a legitimately toxic human. And when you're around people like that, especially as a child, that's gonna leave a mark. And, you know, in my opinion, that's going to require professionals to help your wife work through. And you've heard me say this before, just like a car that has a problem, you need someone that knows how to work on a car. You need. And you need someone good. Back in the day, it was just a. So that is a little excerpt of what we are doing on the Jocko Underground podcast. So if you want to continue to listen, go to Jocko underground.com and subscribe. And we're doing this, we're doing this to mitigate our reliance on external platforms so we are not subject to their control. And we are doing this so that we can support the Jocko podcast, which will remain as is free for all, as long as we can keep it that way. But we. But we are doing this so we don't have to be under the control of sponsors. And we're doing it so we can give you more control, more interaction, more direct connections, better communications with us. And to do that, we are, we're building a website right now where we'll be able to utilize to strengthen this legion of troopers that are in the game with us. So, thank you. It's Jocko underground.com it costs $8.18 a month. And if you can't afford to support us, we can still support you. Just email assistance, acounderground.com and we'll get you taken care of. Until then, we will see you mobilized. Underground.