Angie Martinez IRL - Nia Long: Stop Relying On Pretty & Start Knowing Your Worth

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Joe and Jada – Angie Martinez IRL: Nia Long – Stop Relying On Pretty & Start Knowing Your Worth

Release Date: June 25, 2026
Host: Angie Martinez (IRL series featured on Joe and Jada)
Guest: Nia Long
Theme: Longevity, self-worth, emotional intelligence, motherhood, aging, beauty, and legacy in culture—with an emphasis on transcending surface-level “pretty” and evolving into deeper self-knowledge and empowerment.

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Episode Overview

This candid, lively episode features an in-depth sit-down between iconic actress Nia Long and host Angie Martinez. The conversation journeys through Nia’s career, personal life, beauty standards, motherhood, emotional growth, and the lessons learned from decades in Hollywood. With both humor and gravity, Nia and Angie explore the pressures and privileges of being a “pretty girl,” aging, learning to set boundaries, and finding worth in substance over appearance.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Entering a New Chapter: Self-Acceptance & Peace

• Nia reflects on her current outlook following a very public breakup, emphasizing resilience and self-assurance.
• Quote: “The headlines are I come in peace, but I don’t give a fuck. ...I come with my full self in peace, wanting to inspire. But I also really know myself well.” — Nia Long (04:28)
• Growing into caring less about perception, Nia highlights the freedom in honoring her truth and not striving to “fix” things for others.

2. Motherhood & Emotional Intelligence

• Nia discusses raising two sons, emphasizing open communication and emotional maturity, particularly teaching her boys about empathy and accountability.
• She links her children’s emotional intelligence to conscious parenting and modeling vulnerability.
• Quote: “I talk to them a lot. We talk about everything, and I’m inappropriate sometimes, and they love it. And they know that no matter how busy I am, I’m there for them.” — Nia Long (11:39)
• The importance of not coddling, but also providing grace and support while encouraging independence.

3. Dating, Relationships & Emotional Availability

• A recurring theme is the difficulty of finding emotionally mature partners, both personally and for women at large.
• Nia and Angie riff on “genres” of men, dating as a public figure, and the perils of people's assumptions based on headlines.
• Discussion of boundaries, lessons from co-parenting, and redefining connections after high-profile breakups.
• Quote: “It taught me a lot about my capacity to love. Like, to be able to love beyond what was expected at one time... My children are going to be connected to you for the rest of my life, so why make it miserable?” — Nia Long (22:01)

4. Beauty, Aging, and Identity Beyond “Pretty”

• Nia explores the complexity of being pedestalized as an ideal beauty in Black culture and hip hop.
• She stresses the importance of substance: “That is not going to be your headline… we need some substance because you’re not always going to be gorgeous at some point and then what happens?” — Nia Long (66:38)
• Candid discussion around aging, embracing change, fighting less and settling into evolving identities.
• Quote: “I’m all of those. All of those women are a part of who I am. And so I don’t want to be beholden to one version of myself.” (57:39)

5. Navigating Fame and Longevity in the Industry

• Nia recounts stories about realizing her fame (like being announced at Madison Square Garden) and her work ethic.
• The pair dispel the myth that beauty alone ensures a lasting career, emphasizing the grind and growth required for longevity.
• “We were grinders.... Who from the 90s wasn’t a grinder that is still relevant right now?” — Nia Long (66:00)

6. Cultural Impact and Representation

• Reflections on starring in films that changed the portrayal of Black love (e.g., Love Jones), collaboration with other Black artists, and the ripple effect on mainstream storytelling.
• Insights into being referenced in multiple rap songs, what that means culturally, and how it’s received by her family.

7. Wellness, Self-Care, and Rituals

• Nia shares her personal wellness rituals, including homemade teas and skincare (detailed product tips), as well as routines for rejuvenation and confidence.
• Timestamp: Listener question about beauty and “getting snatched” before an event (73:18–76:12).

8. Giving Back & Generosity

• Nia speaks to the value of being of service, relating a recent personal story about helping an elderly woman and the importance of empathy.
• “Being of service means that you are able to put your ego away.” — Nia Long (69:11)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (w/ Timestamps)

• On boundaries and not letting fear guide you:
  “Now it’s out of understanding, of self. ...You wake up one day in your 20s, and you’re a star. You’re like, who can I trust?” — Nia Long (06:43)

• On the emotional intelligence of her sons:
  “Where’s the emotional maturity in all of this?... If you can break it down like that, I’m going to take all accountability for every single thing.” (13:15)

• On pretty privilege vs. purpose:
  “It bothers me because I feel almost they’re selling themselves short. ...That is not going to be your headline.” — Angie Martinez & Nia Long (65:23–66:38)

• On legacy and impact:
  “Where I am is the sweet spot because they never leave... It’s a connection to humanity. And at the end of the day, that’s what’s really most important to me.” — Nia Long (95:15)

• On what she’s most proud of:
  “I am so proud that I’ve lasted this long, that I still have a place in a space of relevance, that I am so supported and beloved by women....” (94:15)

• If God were to text Nia:
  “Good job, girl. ...Because he knows how hard I work and he also knows my heart.” (108:31)

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Key Sections & Timestamps

• Self-Worth, Boundaries, and Growth: 04:28–08:47
• Motherhood, Emotional Intelligence: 09:14–14:14
• Relationships, Dating, and Men Genres: 16:41–23:21
• Healing, Breakups, Legacy: 26:18–29:10
• On Beauty, the “It Girl” Pedestal: 53:30–57:09, 60:42–68:01
• Service & Substance Over Appearance: 69:00–71:14
• Wellness and Self-Care Tips: 73:48–76:12, 84:33–88:18
• Rap Lyrics & Cultural Icon Status: 80:30–82:11
• Casting Stories: 90:20–91:07
• Legacy and Impact Conversation: 94:15–98:46
• Quickfire “In Real Life” Segment: 83:56–108:31

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Tone & Atmosphere

Warm, frank, and unfiltered. There is genuine humor, mutual respect, teasing, and deep sisterhood energy throughout. Though grounded in personal narrative, the conversation opens up broader questions of identity, legacy, self-sufficiency, and service, offering relatable wisdom for women of all ages.

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Takeaways & Lessons

• True worth comes from self-awareness, continuous growth, and honoring truth—not just beauty or public validation.
• Embrace evolution: women don’t have to pick one “version” of themselves.
• Motherhood, emotional education, and transparency break cycles of emotional immaturity.
• Legacy is about impact, representation, and connection, not just awards or mentions.
• Self-care, boundaries, and service to others are forms of empowerment and purpose.
• Sometimes you have to “remind a motherfucker” what you’ve achieved—and that’s okay.

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Closing Thought:
"Good job, girl."

Transcript

[Nia Long]

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[Daniel Cormier]

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[Nia Long]

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[Nia Long]

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[Nia Long]

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[Tony Ayo]

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[Nia Long]

That would make me a cougar.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Paint you as a cougar.

[Nia Long]

I forgot about that for a second.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So what happens to your DMs after they do that?

[Nia Long]

Girl, my Phone right now. If I open my DMs, you would die. Can we do that?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That would be so much fun. Hey, thanks for watching, guys. This episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. I'm so excited because Nia Long is here today. And when I launched this podcast on my initial wish list, it was like, Lauren London, Nia Long. It was like four or five names.

[Nia Long]

I love Lauren. How much you love her?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I love her down. She loves you.

[Nia Long]

I know we love each other.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You know what's funny? After I launched and did my Lauren episode, we talked a lot about the pod. Cause she loved what I was doing. And she always also would say, you don't need to have Nia on.

[Nia Long]

I'm like, I know.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We're trying.

[Nia Long]

That's my baby.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

She's amazing.

[Nia Long]

I think, I think I don't know what was happening during that time, but I remember we talked well, oh, I do know what was happening during that time. And I didn't want to talk at all about anything.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah, you weren't ready. Mm, mm, mm, mm.

[Nia Long]

But I did tell you I loved you and that I said I'd be here one day. And here I am.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And here you are today, Neil. All right, let me do an intro for you. Today's guest is Ben. That it girl. An award winning actress and producer, this lady has spent more than three decades defining culture. From classics like Love Jones, Soul Food, Best man, to her current role as Katherine Jackson, she's built a longevity that is almost unheard of in Hollywood. A true icon. Her name has become like hip hop shorthand for the ideal woman. I have a whole list of like all the rap songs you're in and off screen. She's remained a force in beauty and fashion. She just recently was starring in a skims ad, which I saw her at the skims event. Yeah, she had a recent Playboy spread and she's become the first ever North American brand ambassador for Estee Lauder, along as our guest today on irl. So when we first wanted you on, it was a weird time in your life, but where are you now? What are the headlines?

[Nia Long]

Oh, man, this chapter. The headlines are I come in peace, but I don't give a fuck. Is that a good. That's a good place to love that I think. And I think that I come in peace part is I come with my full self in peace, wanting to inspire. But I also really know myself well. And I'm so settled in my skin and in my thoughts and in my intentions that I don't second Guess the things that I know anymore. And that's a really great place to be as a woman because it just trims so much of the fat and you get to just arrive and be in the space that feels really comfy for you. And sometimes it turns people off, but I don't. That's the part where you gotta give a fuck.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I know. That's the part you have to grow into it. Not give a shit about.

[Nia Long]

You cannot care at all. You can be kind, but I'm more interested in being kind and finding the truth than being nice and having power

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

or sacrificing anything about your truth to overcompensate for, like trying to make somebody feel warm and fuzzy. Yeah.

[Jeff T]

Comfortable.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. Why do we do that?

[Nia Long]

Why do we do that?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And why do we do that for so long?

[Nia Long]

I think women are program to be the. You know, we're the elixir. We're the thing that smooths everything over. And it's not always for us. It's for everyone else involved. And so when you get to a certain age, you're like, the only elixirs I'm putting on my face. The only elixir I'm interested are the ones I'm putting on my face. Advanced night repair. Like, let's do that. But I don't want to have to

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

do that for

[Nia Long]

situations and people that are adults that are responsible for their choices and their.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We all talk about that and you know how many people go, yeah, I don't give a fuck. And I'm like, no, she does. And then there's certain women. I'm like, she really has. Yeah, she really doesn't.

[Nia Long]

It's such a good thing. Like, I. And. And I care about the things that I should care about. I care about the things that actually mean something to me. I care about humanity. I care about the big things, but the little things, it's. I. I will bulldoze straight through them to get to my truth.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Were you not always like that?

[Nia Long]

No, I think. I think. I think I was, but it was. It was out of fear. Now it's out of understanding, of self. You know, when you're born in Brooklyn, grew up in South Central, you wake up one day in your 20s, and you're a star. You're like, who can I trust?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Especially when you're famous, it's hard because

[Nia Long]

everybody wants a piece and everybody just. They change and they think you've changed. And it's like, no, I'm the same.

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

Really.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Has fame not changed you at all?

[Nia Long]

I Think. I mean, I live such a normal life, girl. I go to the grocery store. I really don't have an assistant. I'm very like.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You have no assistance?

[Nia Long]

No, I can't deal.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Who books your manicure?

[Nia Long]

I do.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Who schedules the car?

[Nia Long]

My team.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So you have a team?

[Nia Long]

I have a team, but I don't have someone, like, wiping my ass at home.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

No, I understand. You don't have, like a personal at home assistant.

[Nia Long]

Not that assistant is supposed to wipe. That was horrible. I shouldn't say that, but you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't have the. The cadence of my life is dictated by me and my choices, moment to moment. If I stick because I'm also. I change my mind about those things in a day. Like, I might have a plan yesterday to get up tomorrow and go to the gym and then get a wax and then go get my nails done and then pick my son up from school and go have sushi after school. I could wake up and go, I'm not doing any of that. I'm actually gonna stay right here in my bed.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I love that.

[Nia Long]

And I'm gonna call, you know, I'll always go get my baby from school. But I really try to honor myself in the moments when I can, because there's so many moments when I can't. You know what it's like when you have to show up a certain way. You have to have those conversations, those prayerful moments, the meditation, the reinforcement. And you have to have people around you who understand who you are and know how to. To be supportive of what your demands are.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I love that, being able to switch your day like that, especially if you have an off day.

[Nia Long]

Oh, it's so good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

My mother was at my house the other day and I was in pajamas all day watching dumb ass shit on tv. And she. She went out, she did this. My mother can't sit still, and she comes back and she's like, you're still in the bed in your pajamas. I said, yes.

[Nia Long]

Can you believe that?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yes, I am. And it's amazing. And I don't want any judgment at all. And I've earned this.

[Nia Long]

And we have to give ourselves those days I know we need because they're like reset days, you know, where you just do nothing and you decide, you know, I find that those days are really like the moments when I can think about designing my week. I do that usually after the farmer's market. Every Sunday, I sit and I design my week. I design my calendar out. I go to the farmer's market. Get all the fresh juices. Dips. I'm a dip girl. Are you a dip girl?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

No, but I. I'm interested.

[Nia Long]

You got to come to la. I'm gonna teach you how to be a dip girl.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I'm interested. I'm down. I'm down for that. I would like to try that.

[Nia Long]

Some hummus?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay, sure.

[Nia Long]

You know, like, little dips. So I go and I do that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Are you by yourself when you do this?

[Nia Long]

I take my son.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay.

[Nia Long]

He's big.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

He agrees.

[Nia Long]

Well. Cause he's. I. I play the victim a little bit. I'm like, mommy really needs you to carry the bags. I can't.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It's true. Like, I'm like, wait, how old is he?

[Nia Long]

He's 14, but he's 6. Almost 6ft tall.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay. And he still was like, okay, Mom.

[Nia Long]

Yeah, no, we're. We're real close. We. We have a special. That's my guy. And then my older one just moved back home, so I'm. So now I have both of my babies home, so it's good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Hey, that's nice.

[Nia Long]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It's weird when they go away and they come back, right?

[Nia Long]

It's weird when they go away and come back with a girlfriend.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, how's that?

[Nia Long]

Well, he's had the same girlfriend for a long time. She's lovely.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

But it's also. What's challenging is when you have to say to them, it's time to grow up.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Have you had that conversation?

[Nia Long]

Part of it is understanding the world that they're in. And then the other part of it, I think, for me, is knowing when. Okay, give me my titty back.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Really?

[Tony Ayo]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

But what does that look like in the real world?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You, like, cut. Need to cut off? Like.

[Nia Long]

No, it's. It's.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It's.

[Nia Long]

It's a grace that you give them. It's being supportive. It's being there to. To kind of help them through.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

But not coddling.

[Nia Long]

But not coddling. And holding accountable. And if you say you're gonna do something, you need to do it and get yourself organized and have yourself prepared.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Your son is smart, though, right?

[Nia Long]

He's really smart. Both of my kids are, like, smarter than me, for sure.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Really?

[Nia Long]

I think so.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

How do you do that as a mom?

[Nia Long]

I don't know. I'm sure it came from me. Let me just take all the credit right now. I talk to them a lot. We talk about everything, and I'm inappropriate sometimes, and they love it. And they know that no matter how busy I am, I'm There for them. But I also say, like, I'm going in my room. Do not bother me. And I close my door and I stay there for as long as I need to.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And they don't bother you?

[Nia Long]

No.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Sometimes on the pod, we've had conversations about, like, Cardi was here talking about how it was important for her to teach her son how to treat women. You know, no is no.

[Nia Long]

And,

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

you know, just. What was the other one?

[Nia Long]

It was karma.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh. And karma, how you treat women will come back to you. And, you know, it was something like, for her. So I just wonder for you with your two boys, like, what were your. I mean, obviously you made them smart somehow. You had them. Yeah, whatever. But it was.

[Colin Coward]

Well, they.

[Nia Long]

I think. I think you. There's. You know, my older son is very interested in facts and the world and, like, kind of like, he's very entrepreneurial, but he's.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

There's a.

[Nia Long]

He can fix anything. I didn't teach him that. I think people are just wired the way they're wired. And then my. My younger one is. He's a Scorpio like me. He's very. He's more emotional, but he's like, his. His IQ and his eq, especially his EQ is off the chain. He's like, well, that wasn't very. What did he say the other day? Where's the emotional maturity in all of this? Like, you know, like, he. He. And I love that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I love that.

[Nia Long]

Because imagine what kind of man he's going to be to understand these things that we are struggling with as women with men. To connect.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yes.

[Nia Long]

So he understands that. And I try to teach them both.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

This is the younger one, 14.

[Nia Long]

They both have it. But he.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

The.

[Nia Long]

But the little one was almost born with it. Wow. Like, he has this innate understanding of life and his own feelings, or, you

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

know, he can express them.

[Nia Long]

Yes. If I do something, he's. He says, well, listen, can I explain to you how that made me feel? And I'm like, yes, Dr. Udoka, please, please tell me. And he breaks it down.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I love that.

[Nia Long]

And I just am like, if you can break it down like that, I'm gonna take all accountability for every single thing. You.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You are raising someone's husband, someone's future

[Nia Long]

husband, and you're gonna.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And they. They should be very grateful to you.

[Nia Long]

Yes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That their future husband will be emotionally mature.

[Nia Long]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Which is what a lot of women are struggling with in these times, which was.

[Nia Long]

I thought I was the only one. And then I realized, like, oh, everyone's

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

this is a thing what with men being challenged in that area.

[Nia Long]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, yes. I mean, historically, though.

[Nia Long]

So I don't know. I don't know what planet I've been on. I did. I thought it. I thought. I didn't.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I really.

[Nia Long]

I really just thought it was the ones I was picking.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Did you? You thought you were choosing all of the. Emotionally choosing all the challenged. Yeah. Guys in the planet?

[Colin Coward]

No.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

They're everywhere. Finding the ones that are not is the hard part.

[Colin Coward]

Hey, guys.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

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[Nia Long]

I don't even need you to be that emot. I just need you to be willing to meet me where I am and understand. I could teach you, but you can't be emotionally immature and then boof me every time. You know, Boof.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

No. What is that?

[Nia Long]

But it's like a West Indian thing. You're Boofing me. Don't boof me.

[Tony Ayo]

What is it?

[Nia Long]

It's like. Don't. Don't give me a hard time.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Got it. Because you're not on the same page emotionally as I am.

[Nia Long]

I need you to just be open.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Well, what does that look like for you? Because maybe our versions of a different. To me. I think most. An emotionally healthy man.

[Nia Long]

Yes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We'll talk about that made me feel insecure or that hurt my feelings or that made me. That didn't make me feel connected to you or whatever the real thing is versus acting up versus deflecting and.

[Nia Long]

Or just we're on the same page

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

having an attitude or same. Whatever things they do to cover up from actually just saying.

[Nia Long]

Right.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

How you feel about something. Right. That's your version of it, too.

[Nia Long]

Mine too?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. The version of that.

[Nia Long]

Challenging for some.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That's.

[Nia Long]

I don't think it's even in their DNA.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Well, not your son.

[Nia Long]

Clap men in this room. If that's in your DNA.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Please. The glam.

[Nia Long]

Because you spend a lot of time with women.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I'm sure

[Nia Long]

you see.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So there's one, two. There's like six men in here.

[Nia Long]

Nobody clapped.

[Tony Ayo]

I don't know the question.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, you got back with the wine. Come bring it in. Bring in the wine.

[Nia Long]

But wait, but you're doing manly things.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Up to 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 men in here. How. 7. How many of you think you're emotionally mature? All of you.

[Nia Long]

Are you married? Who's married?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Only two. Only two. Okay. Do your wife think you're emotionally immature? Raj, behind the camera.

[Nia Long]

So, yeah. Okay, so you're good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay,

[Nia Long]

you're good. She did good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

She.

[Nia Long]

She did good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That's really.

[Nia Long]

She taught you.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

She taught you some.

[Nia Long]

She trained you. But.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

But here's the thing. Yeah, but can we bring the wine first while I have this? So are we drinking wine out of red cups?

[Nia Long]

Oh, we are so hood right now.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Let's do these glasses. I will even get rid of my water. That's. Wait, I don't want to forget the store.

[Nia Long]

No, we won't. Tell me.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Fuck me. I already forgot it. No, here it is. Now we got wine.

[Nia Long]

First of all, cheers.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Salut.

[Nia Long]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jeff T]

Thank you.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You finally made it.

[Nia Long]

Can you imagine?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So what I was thinking was

[Colin Coward]

we

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

were talking about emotionally challenged men.

[Nia Long]

Yes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I often wonder, and just not in my. Not just in myself, but my friends, my girlfriends who date a type of man. Right. And then when you decide at a point in your life, I need a different type of man.

[Nia Long]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Because I would imagine you've had this experience in your life.

[Daniel Cormier]

Absolutely.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

When you're in that moment of like.

[Nia Long]

Yeah, I have.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I need to choose different type of man.

[Nia Long]

Maybe I should leave the balls at the gym. I need a different genre. Can men be genres?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah, sure. Why not? They put us in genres. They sure do. So why not?

[Nia Long]

By the way, what genre are we in?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Well, now I'm afraid to say, because we're 50s. We're kind of like cougar genre.

[Nia Long]

I'm not. I'm never gonna be that. And I don't. And do not call me an auntie.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, my God, I will kill you.

[Nia Long]

I will kill you. Yeah, I will.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Unless I'm actually your auntie.

[Nia Long]

Exactly.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Then it's okay. Yes. Because if I am not. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Nia Long]

I don't even know you.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I don't know you.

[Nia Long]

Why am I your auntie? That's gotta go. Not good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay, so those are the categories they put us in. What are the categories that we put them in? Baller.

[Nia Long]

Baller.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I mean, what are the other categories?

[Nia Long]

We don't even know. That's how badly we need to switch.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Wait a minute. Have you only dated athletes?

[Nia Long]

No.

[Tony Ayo]

No.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You were married to an actor?

[Nia Long]

No, he's not an actor. He. He. He was a contractor.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You met him on set or something, right? No. Is that wrong? No, that's got all the information wrong

[Nia Long]

because the Internet just makes shit up.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay, so he was contracted.

[Nia Long]

And I've never been married, by the way.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You weren't married? Never married, No.

[Nia Long]

I have two beautiful children. I was engaged twice.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You've got some rings.

[Nia Long]

I do have some rings. And I will keep my rings. As you should, because I've earned those rings.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. Had they? Dare anybody dare ever ask?

[Nia Long]

Never.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay.

[Nia Long]

No, no, listen. My. I. My children's fathers and I are good. Good. Especially now. I feel like now, like, we're all really friends. Like, we can all go to dinner. We can all, like. We're good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah, because you're past the hump.

[Nia Long]

We're past the hump.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

And. And it taught me a lot about my capacity to love. Like, to be able to love beyond what was expected at one time. And just to know that, like, I'm gonna have that connection with you for the rest of my life. My children are gonna be connected to you for the rest of my life, so why make it miserable? We can put our differences in the past. We can forgive.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

How long does that take?

[Nia Long]

A long time. And I have to keep talking this talk so I could walk the walk.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, are you convincing yourself right now while you're telling me?

[Nia Long]

Yeah, because there's days when you're like, where is the. But no, no, I'm not convincing myself. But I refuse to not stay in the light in this area. I refuse to. I refuse to go the dark side of. Of separation and yeah, co parenting. Because it can be dark and lonely.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. Oh, no, I'm sure.

[Nia Long]

Yes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yes, I know it can be. I'm not just sure. I actually know. Yes. Then yes, in fact. So what is the key to that? Because even first of all the time when I was. What year did we launch the pot? When were we trying to book you and that you were going, you had just come off of that whole public thing. Was that 20, 23? It's like three years ago. Four years ago. Three, four years ago.

[Nia Long]

Yeah. I don't even remember the year at this point.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay. Is it a blur? Is that whole time period a blur for you?

[Nia Long]

No, not even a blur. It was, you know, it was, it happened.

[Jeff T]

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[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That's it. It is what it is. It is what it is. What are the takeaways from you?

[Colin Coward]

Do you.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Do you operate like this? Because whenever I have, you know, a defining kind of moment in my life, I always will sit with it for a little while. Okay, what are the takeaways for me? What did I need to. What did I need to learn? What did I need to be shown? What did I need to pivot or change? I don't know. That's how I manage those type of situations.

[Nia Long]

I mean, I think that was. That's. It's. It's personal and it's internal. Right? Like those things that you go, oh, well, I. We were talking about this before we started, about how women have the ability to be whatever they need to be in whatever situation. And oftentimes that means you're sacrificing a piece of yourself that you should not be ever sacrificing. And so I think we've all been there and I Think I was there. I think I was raising two kids. We were in there. We're in the middle of a pandemic. And I. But it was the best thing that ever happened to me because it allowed me to pause. It allowed me to pause and look at all the wonderful things that I had done throughout the time that I was in that relationship. But now I can pour everything back into myself. So it's not about him. It's not about the, the, it wasn't

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

about them, the things, the headlines or

[Nia Long]

any of it wasn't about the headlines. It wasn't about the opinions. It wasn't about the trash ass assistant. It wasn't about any of that. It was, how do I preserve what's left? And the new way my family is now. Like, who are we now? Because I could just walk away and never talk to you ever again. And how does that affect my son? No, I'm not going to do that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So you decide. I'm going to be as light. I'm going to go into the lights.

[Nia Long]

I'm going to let you know what time it is. I'm not going to pretend like some shit didn't happen. But I'm going to also be forgiving and be your friend. And that's good. That's healthy.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Quickly you do that.

[Nia Long]

Not that quickly. It's not quickly. It takes time, and everyone should take their time. And it's not for everyone. But we're talking about, like, the healing. Right. We're talking about the family unit. We're talking about, how do you, how do you grow from. How do you grow after a breakup? How do, who are you after a breakup? That's really what we're, that's really what we're talking about.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That's what we're talking about. Because even in, whether it was that one or even your first relationship or whatever relationship, you. Every time you come out of something. Yeah.

[Tony Ayo]

New.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

You're a different person.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. How has that informed where you are now?

[Nia Long]

Marriage was never like, oh, I have to be married.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Not for you.

[Nia Long]

Never felt. I've never felt that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You took the rings, though. You, you had the intention you were going to listen.

[Nia Long]

I, I, I thought I would.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

But I wasn't the girl that said, we have to be married right now, especially now that we're having a child. Like, it was more important for me to be a mother than a wife.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Wow. And a good mother. Right?

[Nia Long]

And a good mother.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

Like, I, Because I knew that I had my own career and I didn't Want to, like, not have a child. I know so many women in this industry who wait and wait and wait, and then they get to a place where it's not possible, and it's heartbreaking.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

And some. Some choose not to. And I respect that, too. Like, whatever your choice is, I respect that. But I knew for me, that being a mother was not an option. It was. It had to happen. And so I, I. I picked.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And you. And you prioritized that.

[Nia Long]

And I prioritized that, and I had good relationships with both of their dads.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

And I still do.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

I was talking to Masai's dad the other day, and I was like, hey, what should I do about. Because he's really good with, like. He's like, oh, you should do. Blah, blah. I said, okay, cool. Thanks.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You good?

[Nia Long]

He's like, yeah. And then my son came over. I go, I ordered two brooms from. From Amazon. You should take this to your dad for his new place.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh.

[Nia Long]

You know, like, it's just, like. That's basic stuff, but it's the way we get down.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah, but it's friendly. It's like, it's like. Yeah, it's a friendly environment, but there's also boundaries. Oh, yeah.

[Nia Long]

There's big ones.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

They would have to be. Yeah.

[Nia Long]

Right. Because otherwise it'd just be a hot mess.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And your kids are probably so much better for it and happy for it and emotionally intelligent. Because you talk. I would imagine, just based on what you said about how you mother. That.

[Nia Long]

Oh, I'm very honest.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I was gonna say that there's been a lot of dialogue.

[Nia Long]

Absolutely. I'm very honest about, like, listen, these are the shortcomings. These are the strengths. These are the things you should think about. These are my strengths. Strengths. These are my shortcomings.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Are you good at that?

[Nia Long]

I am.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You paused.

[Nia Long]

I mean, because I'm like, what are my shortcomings? Patience. I'm the most impatient person.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I ask that because sometimes, you know,

[Nia Long]

I'm not patient at all.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Also, sometimes women who know what they want and are. I don't know, sometimes. I don't know. Like, we don't see our own shortcomings as clearly because we're so focused on what we. Or. Or because I read something in one of your. In the packet about Laurence Fishburne would critique you in the first movie. Is that true? Or he gave you some critique that made you better.

[Nia Long]

Yeah. He gave you a note.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And I thought, I wonder how she deals with somebody pointing out something she could do better.

[Nia Long]

I love It.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You do. Okay.

[Nia Long]

I really. Especially if I. If I respect the person.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I know I just went to a whole round of a place. But there's something about that.

[Nia Long]

But there's something about that shows up in every area of your life. Exactly. It's the ability to take creative criticism. It's also the ability to know that if I respect this person and they're. He was also, at the time, I was an ingenue and he was a big, strong.

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

Right.

[Nia Long]

So I'm going to take heed to what my. I don't want to say elders, but what the generation of greats came before me, what they have to say.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And you knew that even in that time.

[Nia Long]

Yeah, because I was struggling in the scene. Cause remember, the reaction in the scene is when this is boyhood. You're 20, almost 20.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, not even 19.

[Nia Long]

Something in there.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Wow.

[Nia Long]

And Ricky gets shot, but that's not happening in real time. It's a Steadicam shot of me running across the yard. Ricky just got shot. The shot goes to Laurence Fishburne, then to Cuba, and then it goes across the street. And you see what has happened. So I am the. The messenger of the bad news. So I had to come in hot, and I had never done that before. So the first time I came in hot, but I wasn't hot enough. And Laurence Fishburne took me to the side and he said, I want you to think about what you're doing right now and what just happened. Now go do it again and be hysterical. And I was like, okay. And I was afraid because I'm young, not afraid of him, because he was lovely to me, but just wanted to get it right. And it was good and it worked.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What did you do? How do you get there?

[Nia Long]

I didn't have time to think about it. It was like, just go. And what it was is I didn't allow myself to feel self conscious. And I think that's like, big when you're a young actor is like, you just don't feel self conscious. Just be in that moment. Just do what needs to be done.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. Don't worry about how you look.

[Nia Long]

Don't worry about how you look or

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

how somebody's rece what you're doing.

[Nia Long]

That's as long as my light is right and the camera's in the right place.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Not your light.

[Nia Long]

In a minute, I'm gonna start bringing my own lights to set.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We try to have good lights here.

[Nia Long]

You do have good lights. They're good. They're the type of lights that you can like, do good stuff in post, right?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

If you need to. If you need to.

[Nia Long]

Yeah. You know, but, you know, I'm a film baby, so I went from, like, lights. Being an actor, like, almost like another character on set, to a digital world, which is a lot diff. Which is very different.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Tricky. Yeah.

[Nia Long]

Because the key for me, I think my superpower is when my eyes are lit, because then I don't have to say much.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Do you?

[Nia Long]

Absolutely ask for it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You do ask for it. So you have, like, a seasoned director or somebody on set, and you're like, hi, I need these babies right here. And you ask for that. Your eyes. What is it about the ne. What is it about the nia Long eyes?

[Nia Long]

I don't know. Tell me. Look at them.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I don't know. They're pretty good. They're like. What are these, chestnut.

[Nia Long]

They're chestnut brown. I'm in shape.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

No, they've served you. Boo.

[Nia Long]

I think it's. Look, the eyes are the windows to the soul. It's, like, cliche to say that, but I think it's true. What I see is what I've seen in my life can be seen in my eyes. So if you're expressing a story, you're expressing them through what you've seen and what you're looking at. But there's a part of your past that always shows up. So it could be pain, it could be joy, it could be love, it could be hate. It could be. There's light and dark there in the eyes. In the eyes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Soul in the eyes, chico.

[Nia Long]

Yeah. And, you know, have you ever looked at someone and seen nothing in their eyes? They're just like. Nothing there.

[Tony Ayo]

Ooh.

[Nia Long]

Those people scare me.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. I don't know that I've ever. Oh, I have.

[Nia Long]

They're like.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It's not often.

[Nia Long]

They're like. Almost like.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I wonder if we're talking about the same person. I'll tell you later.

[Nia Long]

Cut the cameras.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

There's a person whose eyes look like

[Nia Long]

that to me that has that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We know that. We know that. I've been around many times. That's actually two people I've been around. So, yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. And it is scary. And I always wonder, am I reading into that too much? Is it drugs? Is it alcohol? Is it lack of sleep? Or why does it always look like that? Or is there something in the soul that's off?

[Nia Long]

It's probably all that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

All of those things. It takes time to get there, to have nothing in your eyes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What do you Think that is

[Nia Long]

probably a certain amount of just not willing to connect to anything. You're, like, robotic.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You're dead inside. Sorry, that sounded very harsh, but that's the same.

[Nia Long]

I think we're saying the same thing. You're dead to me. That's such a good show. I love that show.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, that is a good show. What are you watching? What are you doing for fun these days? Like, what are your things?

[Nia Long]

I just started watching.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Besides getting hummus on Sundays, I just

[Nia Long]

started watching the JFK Jr. The Love Story. What's the name of it? So good. What's the name of the show?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

A Love Story. Yeah, a Love Story.

[Nia Long]

Yeah, I just started watching A Love Story. I love it. I loved it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It was so well done. I didn't expect to love it as that much.

[Nia Long]

I know.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I thought, oh, this will be cute. I'll watch it.

[Nia Long]

It's fine. But then I was like, good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Wait a minute.

[Nia Long]

And you know what it reminded me of? It reminded me of the 90s when I was walking down 5th Avenue and he jogged right past me. JFK Jr. Jogged right past. We locked eyes, and I said, that is a fine ass. And I was so young.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Did you know who he was?

[Nia Long]

And I didn't until, like, later.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And you were like, oh, my God.

[Nia Long]

But I had a moment with him. Like, we had a moment.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Did he know it was you?

[Nia Long]

I don't think he knew it was me. I think it was.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And you didn't know it was him. This is like a rom com.

[Nia Long]

I think it was just like, ooh, you're cute. That's like a

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

wow.

[Nia Long]

And we had, like. I was like,

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

get it? People say that.

[Nia Long]

I don't know. He had a charisma about him that, like, you. You cannot. Well, you could see it in the film.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

You can't even explain it. It was just like. I was literally. And I will never forget this, I was literally walking and he was coming this way, and I felt this energy and I was like. And we went. And then he was gone. And then I was like, I gotta go to work. Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Why was he already with the girl?

[Nia Long]

I don't think so.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

In retrospect now.

[Nia Long]

No, no, I think he was. I could have had.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

He could have been your soulmate and you missed him.

[Nia Long]

He could have. But then I wouldn't be here right now. Well, then that would be really sad. That would be terrible. God bless him. God bless them.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

God bless them.

[Nia Long]

It was a sad story.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. Are you like that? Like a romantic in that way where I Saw him on the train and the door is closed and that could have been him. I feel like you have that in you a little.

[Nia Long]

I, I, I think new love and newness inspires like a, a visceral reaction in your body. I believe in that. I believe.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Does that change?

[Nia Long]

No. But now it just doesn't last as long. When I start seeing red flags, I'm like, oh, let me turn this channel. Time to turn channel.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Is that what you call it? Sharing the channel.

[Nia Long]

Channel. New new show. New channel. New new network.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

But are you still open to that? Like, I don't know, are you still open to like the grand kind of love?

[Nia Long]

Yes, why wouldn't I?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You still expect it. Like, do you, do you look for it?

[Nia Long]

I am more concerned about being that so that I attract it than I am looking for it. You can't want something if you're not at your best. So it's like a lot of self work.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What does that look like, though? The thing you deserve for me, the thing you deserve. What does that look like?

[Nia Long]

Oh, gosh.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Come on, Nia. Well, first, if you know it, then it will say it.

[Nia Long]

It will manifest. But it's personal. I don't want everyone knowing what I want. But I'll give you a couple things.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, because then they also might come and try to trick you.

[Nia Long]

Listen, after the thing that was a sound bite about dating younger, now I'm like, that's right. And I was like, this is why you can never do a sound bite that doesn't actually show the full conversation. See, in the 90s, we didn't have that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I know, we.

[Nia Long]

It wasn't bad though, because here's the reality. I think women should date whoever they want to date. And I don't think that age matters. I mean, within reason, yes. But I also know myself. And the reality is, is I'm not just dating younger. Like, if I met someone who was interesting and mature and they happen to be younger, then fine, Right.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

But it doesn't. You're not like out looking for a young man? No, they did not.

[Nia Long]

That would make me a cougar.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Paint you as a cougar.

[Nia Long]

I forgot about that for a second.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So what happens to your DMs after they do that?

[Nia Long]

Girl, my phone right now. If I open my DMs, you would die. Can we do that?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That would be so much fun. I personally want to see something. Oh my God.

[Nia Long]

Where are my glasses though?

[Jeff T]

I can't.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Do we need readers?

[Nia Long]

My glasses, can you? Maybe in my purse.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I need A sip of wine for this. I feel I need to prepare myself.

[Nia Long]

I'm not gonna say names, but we'll just say like, here's one. Lala was the one who taught me how to read my DMs.

[Tony Ayo]

I didn't know.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Are you kidding me?

[Nia Long]

I didn't even know if they were like, now I do, but like, at first I was like, DMs, what's that?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And she's like, bitch, there's a whole sea of shit in here.

[Nia Long]

I'm like, oh my God, I've been missing.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Of course Lala was the one to show you. I don't know why I feel like her DMs. Actually, we did that on the radio one time.

[Nia Long]

We went through her DM' love her.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Cuz her DM's are popping.

[Nia Long]

Popping. She's like, girl, we were doing Dear White People.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I feel like on the set of

[Nia Long]

Dear White People, she taught me I

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

need my DMs to be a little popping. Do I not give my DM should be popping vibes? Is that. Is it because I don't post thirst traps or is it because I.

[Nia Long]

You need to like, what is it?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Is it age? Is it like. No, we just have to post, that's all. You really just throw bait out there. They say, be careful what you ask for. I don't really. I don't really want that. I was just joking. I was just joking. But I do be thinking like, well, I don't get none. I should be like, really inspired by your work. I want a career in media. I was wondering.

[Nia Long]

Most of them have been telling me, like, I'll sign the NDA, shut the fuck up. And I'm like, okay. They're like, yo, where's the NDA? I'm ready to sign.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Did they start with a yo?

[Nia Long]

Oh, yeah. I have some ratchet folks in here. Can Meg be ratchet?

[Colin Coward]

Yes.

[Nia Long]

Okay. Yeah, definitely have some ratchet dudes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So first of all, they're shooting their shot and they're opening up with a yell.

[Nia Long]

And I'm like that. You don't even get to see the paperwork with that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah, okay.

[Nia Long]

You know what I'm saying? Okay, we gonna find one.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Are any of these guys like, public figure men?

[Nia Long]

Yeah, there's a couple that have the blue check. Mm.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Do you ever reply,

[Nia Long]

depends on my mood.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Like for shits and giggles, you know,

[Nia Long]

it depends how bored I am. God, why are all the. Now all of them are. Oh, oh, really?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Brittany will show you like Lala showed you. She'll show you how to search.

[Nia Long]

This one says, I call all Cap, but put me on the list of sneaky links. You're welcome. Oh, now you're welcome.

[Tony Ayo]

Ew.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Did you block him?

[Nia Long]

And that I call Cap. You don't know.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You want to know?

[Nia Long]

Oh, here's a guy. I'm just a normal, everyday. Hold on. Let me start over.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay.

[Nia Long]

I'm just a normal, everyday young black man. And then he has in quotes, just a little bit. I guess that means a little bit young. Okay. That sees you and wonders if I ever had a chance to meet you and simply say hello in person. I'm sure you get this all the time, so I apologize if I'm wasting. Okay. He's too polite. Too polite.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Too polite?

[Nia Long]

Yes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We had two ratchets. Now it's too polite.

[Nia Long]

That's not really. Just get to the point.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

All right, but be honest. Nia.

[Nia Long]

Yeah. Are any of them good in here? Yeah, I've had a couple good ones.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Really?

[Nia Long]

But then I've watched their lives play out in other areas and I'm like, thank God I didn't go there.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You go to the page and you investigate.

[Nia Long]

No, I mean, I, I've seen in public what they end up doing.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, you mean public people who have dmd.

[Nia Long]

Yes. And I'm like, oh, you're kind of a hot mess. I could have been in that story right now. Now you know.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yes. So you didn't take the bait?

[Nia Long]

I didn't take the bait. I took the flowers, but not the bait. I like flowers.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, God.

[Nia Long]

I mean, there's just not so many flowers. There's just not. Let's see.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

This is, this is a good time. I could do this all day.

[Nia Long]

Me too. Yeah. No, it's, it's just not. I mean, I, I wish it was hot.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

If he's not in the DMs and he's not involved in any type of baller situation. He'. He's not that. Where does he live? How do you even. I don't know. I ask you this not just for you, but, like, for the many women

[Nia Long]

that I know that are like, who do you date?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah, like, how do you date? How. Where do they come from?

[Nia Long]

I don't want to date. I'm so happy right now.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, you don't want to. Okay.

[Nia Long]

And I, I, I, I. I don't even know how to date.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

And I think it's because I've just been in a relationship for a really long time, so dating is like, okay, what do we do? Okay. So going to dinner, we're going to talk, and you're going to show up as your representative and I'm going to show up as me. I think it's hard to date when you're us.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Do you show up as you on Date one?

[Nia Long]

Yeah. I don't know how else to be. Do you not.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I don't know. I haven't dated in like 15 years. And I, I am, you know, I'm trying to figure out the next thing. Yes. I don't know what that look, I don't know what that looks like for

[Nia Long]

me, but can I tell you something? You're going to go through this thing where you're going to be like, oh, I want to date. I'm gonna get hot and date and I'm gonna get out there.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I mean, that's what Chelsea Handler told me. And I thought, I don't see it. And that was a couple months ago. It hasn't happened.

[Nia Long]

I think white women are different.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay.

[Nia Long]

No, I respect, I respect them so much. Like, they can get up and change the channel. Bye.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

New channel.

[Nia Long]

Sisters. Sisters are a little. Not all. You can't generalize. But I would say that in my experience, my very dear Caucasian white girlfriends are a lot more like next.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

And I'm, you know, we're, I'm just emotional.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. Takes time.

[Nia Long]

It takes time.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Me too. And also, like, it takes time to remember how to do it.

[Nia Long]

I don't know how to do it. That's what I'm saying.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You guys, are you still. Because you're like a couple years out now, you still haven't figured that out.

[Nia Long]

I've been working a lot. I mean, when you think about it, I've been working nonstop since mj. Right. Like, since, since shooting that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So good, by the way.

[Nia Long]

Thank you. Thank you. And then. Yeah, I don't know that I've had that much time to figure it out. I'm focused on my kids. I know I don't want to bring someone new in to my son's life at this age. I think it's tough.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I'm all over the place. But how fun to be able to play the mother of Michael Jackson.

[Nia Long]

Like, it was wild.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Could you imagine? And I'm sure you've had to have imagine because you played her. So I'm sure you've gone through all that work in your head of like. But I was thinking, could you imagine being Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson and the Jackson's five's mother.

[Nia Long]

Wild.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Wild.

[Nia Long]

But she's a source. She's a pillar.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You spent a lot of time with her. Right?

[Nia Long]

So I didn't meet her at all until after I met her at the premiere.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, my God.

[Nia Long]

And so the whole time we were shooting, I had been wanting to meet her. But, you know, it was one of those things that, like, I mean, she's Catherine Jackson. They don't just get in the car and drive and say like, hey, it's not that. So you. There's a. And she's, she's older, you know, she's, she's just turned, I think 90, I want to say. Yeah, she's.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So even who she was when you played her, she's not that she's different. I mean, she's a different person.

[Nia Long]

She's a different woman. Yeah, but she's, when you meet her, she's like very quiet, very sweet, very soft. Kept her eyes on the littles, like the babies. I watched her watch the babies and that was beautiful. And I just kneeled next to her and I said, I've been waiting for this moment to meet you. And I said, have you ever thought about the fact that none of this would be happening without you? Makes me want to cry. And she just kind of looked at me and she started to cry and she held my hand and I held her hand and it was just. She's the beginning of an empire.

[Jeff T]

This is Jeff t from the Club 520 podcast. Oh, my goodness. Now this is a performance you do not want to miss.

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

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[Jeff T]

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[Colin Coward]

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[Nia Long]

Think about that's like, that's hardcore. She gave birth to all those children and she protected them and she sacrificed. And she's a grandmother of I'm sure she's probably got like, I don't know exactly how many grandchildren there are, but she is queen mother yes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

When I think about why does that make you emotional? What do you think?

[Nia Long]

Because I know the weight she had to carry to be a place of refuge and safety for her family. But I know that she also had to probably internalize so many things that she couldn't speak up about or chose not to speak up about.

[Daniel Cormier]

No.

[Nia Long]

I could only imagine because she had the mother wit, the grace to know that you don't have to speak on all things. Some things are better left unsaid. And I think that's her holding her. That's that divine feminine power that we all have that you have to. To protect.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That must have been great. Did you ask her how you did. You had to ask her.

[Nia Long]

I didn't ask her that because I was like, what if she says no?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, God, that would be terrible.

[Nia Long]

That would be horrible.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I didn't recognize that woman at all.

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

I don't even.

[Nia Long]

Get her out of here. No, I didn't ask her because I know that she was happy and all the sons were happy.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

How you feel?

[Nia Long]

And I could feel that she was happy. And, you know, you do these performances to tell a story, and, you know, it changes from moment to moment. Like, my interpretation of it is not going to be the same as when Angela Bassett did her interpretation, which was amazing. Two different things, two different projects, two different movies. And so I didn't want to get caught up in trying to be Katherine Jackson. I wanted people to feel what she represents.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yes, I get that.

[Nia Long]

Right. And that's the baseline of the family. That's the strength. That's the. And you gotta understand, like, we shot a lot of other scenes that didn't make it into the movie because of. Because of the, you know, the legal. Yeah. Shakeups that happened towards the end. So it was. It was. It was shake. It was tricky. Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What is that like for you to be. Because I was looking at the body of work. All of the movies, you're always like the hot little. The young little hottie in the movie.

[Nia Long]

I hate it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You hate the hottie rose?

[Nia Long]

Well, because it's not. I mean, I don't know. I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I actually love it. I love that I get to do that. But I think.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I mean, Friday, even Friday.

[Nia Long]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Like, the way it's. I mean, it's. It's. I don't know. It's endearing. It's not overly sexualized.

[Nia Long]

No, no, it's not.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It's like you've been put on this, like, ideal girl kind of pedestal.

[Nia Long]

That's the part that's tough.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

Because as much as I appreciate it, I'm not that girl anymore. I'm like, you know, we change as women and I don't want to have to live up to that, whatever that is. Now.

[Daniel Cormier]

Now.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. What is it to you? Like, because you do take your skin regimen, your beauty, how you look, how you present. Like you just did Playboy, like skims.

[Nia Long]

Yeah. That was great. I love that.

[Colin Coward]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So where do you. I don't know, where do you put that? The idea of how people see you versus how you see myself.

[Nia Long]

I think as long as I'm taking care of myself and it's about my personal growth and my choice, then it's okay. Rather than. It's okay.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

Rather than trying to be younger or trying to be hot or try, you know, or trying to be the 90s hot girl. Like, I'm not.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You're not the 90s hot girl. You still are in there somewhere.

[Nia Long]

No, she's in me. She's never going away. But I don't need to. I don't need to walk out the door with an agenda. I just need to walk out the door as me. And some days I'm 90s hot girl Nia. And some days I'm mama Nia. And some days I'm carpool Nia. And some days I'm hot mess Nia. And some days I'm red carpet Nia. And other days I'm.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You're going to the set to play the matriarch.

[Nia Long]

Right. And I've gained, you know, £40. Cause I'm in menopause and I'm a grown ass woman. Like, that's. I'm all of those. All of those women are a part of who I am. And so I don't want to be. Beholden to one version of myself.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

But is that tricky? Did you have to grow into that? Were there growing pains in there?

[Nia Long]

I think there's a moment that every woman walks into the bathroom and looks in the mirror and you're like, oh, I'm getting older and it's okay.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Did you take it? That's okay?

[Nia Long]

Yeah. Because I was like, I'm still fine. I'm still. I still feel pretty for me.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

You know, I still feel good about myself and I'm taking care of myself so that I can preserve that. But I'm also. I can also see the things that are changing. And that's good. Like to be able to have more life, to be able to change, to be Able to know that, like, one day I'm be a grandma and one day I'm gonna have all of you know, it's. It's nice. You gotta settle into it. Either you're gonna fight it or settle into it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah, Yeah. I think we're. I think the world sets us up to always want to fight it. And it is a tough thing. You know, I struggle too. Sometimes I'm okay with it. And then every time I'm like. Sometimes I'm like, I don't like this. I don't feel like that inside, so I shouldn't look like that on the outside. Sometimes I don't know.

[Nia Long]

Well, that's the self talk. Right? Like, that's the thing that we have to get under control. And. And I think as our hormones change and our bodies change, it comes with anxiety, it comes with exhaustion, it comes with imbalance of our hormones. All these things are real.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

Not like people just talking about them. It happens.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nia Long]

And so you just have to have. Not you, but anyone.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

Me, myself. As long as I feel myself going down the rabbit hole. And I pause and recalibrate, I'm good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So you do have the feeling. You just pause and recalibrate.

[Nia Long]

I pause and go, today. I said, today I was getting dressed. And I go, God, I need to be in the gym. And I go, but you know what? I don't want to right now. I don't want to.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Good for you.

[Nia Long]

I want to. I'm actually at the weight that I like to be at, but I. I walked into the mirror in my bra and panties, and I was like, I need to go to the gym because it's important to lift weights at this age, at this stage.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

But was that the reason?

[Nia Long]

No.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Whenever you. Because when you walk past the mirror in your bra and panties, you weren't like, it's important to lift weights.

[Nia Long]

No, no. That was the reason I was. Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I was like, you wasn't wearing, like, this used to look like this, and now it looks like this.

[Nia Long]

No, I was like. I was like, I've got good legs, but don't start taking them for granted by not working out. Go work out so they can stay nice.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I want to go back to it, girl. And that theory about you being on this pedestal. Right. This one as a young girl, that could be tricky. Like them putting you on this pretty girl pedestal. I just wonder if, like, ego had set in or. I don't know, what does that do to a young girl when everybody's like, you're so Pretty.

[Nia Long]

You're so.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You're that girl.

[Nia Long]

I didn't really have people coming up to me saying, you're so pretty, like.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And there was no social media.

[Nia Long]

And there was no social media. And I was working.

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

You get.

[Nia Long]

Like. I was a worker. I started in soaps. I moved here when I was 21, 22 years old. Younger than that, actually, because I. I graduated high school and moved straight to New York. I was on soaps that was morning to night. Those. Those. That job was hard. And I think. Oh, I was telling someone the other day, the moment that I realized I was famous and it was trippy. I was with Marvette. Brita.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, yes, Publicist.

[Nia Long]

Yep. We were at a Roy Jones Jr. Fight at Madison Square Garden.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I feel like I might have been at that same fight.

[Nia Long]

You were probably there. Everyone was there. Yeah, it was Spike Lee, Mike Tyson, every supermodel from the 90s. And when I walked in, I was like, oh, my God. Like, this is every. It was packed. And someone on the loudspeaker said, nia Long just walked in, and the whole building started screaming. And I, like, got nervous, like, what?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What's happening?

[Nia Long]

I was like, are they doing that for me? And then Marvette just looked at me and smiled, and she's like, come on. But, like, that was my. Like, I. And I'm not saying this to try to be, like, super humble girl. Like, I really wasn't focused on that. I was in survival mode. I was born in Brooklyn. I was living in South Central la. My mother was a single mom. I was like, how can we get up out of this ghetto? How can we survive?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

But also, you have a gift that you're probably chasing.

[Nia Long]

And I was chasing my own gift. Right. But I knew that if I achieved my goals, it would make everything better. So I didn't have this.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

You know how much I love him.

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

I know.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I love that.

[Nia Long]

I didn't have this oh, I'm the hot girl attitude at all. I was. I didn't.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Not, like, the models in the room probably had that whole.

[Nia Long]

No, I didn't understand that. I was like, why are they so uptight? Yeah, the fuck's going on? I didn't have that. I was. I was. I was aware of.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Of

[Nia Long]

my surroundings. I was aware of.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You were aware that you were getting

[Nia Long]

casted, and I was aware of how people were responding. But I wasn't walking into a room with a chip on my shoulder or thinking I was the prettiest girl in the room or feeling like I needed to be the number one person in the room. I. And I still don't have that. Like, really? No, not at all.

[Jeff T]

No, you don't.

[Nia Long]

You don't. I'm a little. I'm a little, like, silly. And like. Like, people that know me know.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Like, you don't take yourself that serious.

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

No.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It's funny because sometimes we work with people or hire people, and me and Britt always talk about this. It's kind of like, I don't know, I have, like, a pretty girl syndrome thing that sometimes I see. I don't want to call it that because that's too. But, like, there's a thing that. Especially if I'm hiring somebody or if I'm working with somebody, sometimes in a pretty girl, I could see less effort, and I don't want to paint that on everybody. There's plenty of pretty girls who work hard or whatever, but sometimes I'm like, ugh, too many people told her she's pretty. Or too many people gave her a praise for something that wasn't that great. And I can see the difference when people are affected by being pretty, when they. When they've let it seep into their work ethic or they took it too

[Nia Long]

serious, or they're believing the hype and

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

they're doing the work.

[Nia Long]

They believe in the hype. Bitch, do better.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Like, come on.

[Nia Long]

Do you feel like that's something that

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

has to do with this? It drives me crazy because I want to go, come on, you pretty. Of course you are. But, like, that's not enough.

[Nia Long]

Never enough.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Come on, man. It bothers me because I feel almost they're selling themselves short. Like, you're.

[Nia Long]

Do you feel like that's generational? Do you feel like that's really, like, a pretty thing? Because I think some of that is

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

gender smacking on Eminem. It's okay. It's real life. This is in real life.

[Nia Long]

I feel like some of that is about

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

generation Entitlement.

[Nia Long]

Entitlement. If you say something, they're, like, defensive.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I think maybe both. I think it depends on the person.

[Nia Long]

We were grinders.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We were, but not all were. Not everyone was.

[Nia Long]

Who from the 90s wasn't a grinder. That is still relevant right now.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay, well, that's a difference. That's a different story. But they were definitely, like, cute girls prancing around, thinking that was enough. There was a lot of them everywhere. They might not have made it because that's what they leaned on.

[Nia Long]

Yeah, pretty.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

There's something in that. I don't know. I'm sure there's some expert or some psychologist that can break that down, but I do. Like, if I. I only have sons, but if I had a daughter, it would be my. One of my things that even if she was gorgeous, like, you are not going to. That is not going to be your headline.

[Nia Long]

Correct.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Like, come on, we need, we need

[Nia Long]

some substance because you're not always going

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

to be gorgeous at some point and then what happens?

[Nia Long]

And then what I always talk about, like, it reminds me, me of this thing that I think of often is, is like, you know, in high school, I wasn't the prettiest girl. I wasn't the most popular. I was like in the second batch, you know, like, you were B level. I was B level cute in high school. So you had like the. The A listers and then you had me and the, you know, I was like, B.C. like the guys liked me. But that was only because the A girls weren't giving them the time of day.

[Jeff T]

Right.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, so you had to also have some type of personality.

[Nia Long]

Yeah, and I was just very aloof and I would go to school and I did great in school. I was always a good student. But what was interesting is when we all graduated and you go back. I never go to my high school reunion. That's like, I just don't do stuff like that. I don't know why, but I just don't.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I get it.

[Nia Long]

Do you go, no, it's not because I'm an actor. It's just like, what. What are we gonna talk about?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I also, I have a difficult time with small talk.

[Nia Long]

Me too. Oh, my God, I get so. I have so much anxiety.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And it doesn't mean I can't talk to a stranger.

[Nia Long]

I could talk to a stranger all day.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

As long as it's authentic conversation.

[Nia Long]

Yes, yes, yes. Okay, but what about the people? I call it the fall off. The ones that were in the A group and you see them 30 years later and they didn't do the work and they didn't grind and they let themselves go because.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Or life happened or.

[Nia Long]

Listen, I'm not being judgmental, but what I'm saying is the pretty thing you're talking about is like the most popular girl in high school. So, I mean, I guess the moral of the story is we just can't be that. We have to. We have to be more. Yeah, we have to. I think we have to explore all parts of ourselves and we have to rip it open and we have to dig deep and we have to heal and we have to Figure out, like, what are the things that we're meant to do here while we're here? Because it seems like a long time. It's really not.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I know Ultimately, that is the quest that we should all be on.

[Nia Long]

That's it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Why are we here? What is our purpose? How do we serve?

[Nia Long]

How can we inspire humanity? How can we look beautiful but be about it? Right? Like, be about it. And I think that's one of the biggest things I teach my kids, is to be of service. Because being of service means that you are able to put your ego away.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

How you do that. You do. Are you.

[Nia Long]

I love it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay.

[Nia Long]

I love. You know, the other day I was driving to pick up my dry cleaning, and there was this little lady on the corner with her cane and she kept waving her cane pain. Why did I put the lady in my car and drive her home? And then she. And then I stopped at a red light and she tried to jump out. So then I had to call 911-and-911 came to get her. And she had dementia, and it was just like a whole thing. And I was like, well. And the officer was like, I understand you were trying to do a good thing, but, like, you. Sometimes you gotta be careful.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You just don't.

[Nia Long]

But I felt bad.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I was like.

[Nia Long]

She's like, it's 900 degrees outside and she's waving her cape. But I don't wanna stop being that person because I know a lot of people that would just drive by and listen. I get just driving by because some things are not your business. But I also have a tender spot in my heart for elderly. I have a tender spot in my heart for people that are just hardworking people, you know, that just come to my house every week and they do their jobs and we sit and we chat for a minute and, like, there's an exchange of energy. I admire that. They don't. It does. I don't. I'd rather that conversation than. To your point. Chit chat.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

Because the chit chat drives me crazy.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, my God,

[Nia Long]

I'm so bad at it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

But I just felt like, oh, she really wants me in person. I don't know.

[Nia Long]

Very sweet.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It was no.

[Nia Long]

Like, it was so genuine. Right.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

But I always felt our conversations were really genuine. For sure. We had a lot of mutual friends and things like that. But I never realized until this conversation today.

[Nia Long]

Are you like, do you have a problem now?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I feel like we should hang out all the time. I hate loud. I hate loud.

[Nia Long]

I hate loud. I hate too much. Talking sometimes, like, it makes me like that. Like, I get buzzy.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

But see, and I don't like multiple things, sounds at the same time.

[Nia Long]

One thing at a time. Stick to what we're talking to.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I love you.

[Nia Long]

Now I just sound like assholes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

No, no, she sounds. She's laughing because you're like my twin soul, right?

[Nia Long]

I can't. I can't. My nervous system can't handle it. But you know what I think it is?

[Colin Coward]

I will.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Literally. And I realize it's rude. I after. And I don't care if it's rude.

[Nia Long]

If I'm taking care of myself, I. I gotta take.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

But I'll be like, wait. And it will not because I want to shush somebody. It's just because I need. It's like if you're talking to me and they're talking to me, everybody. Oh, my God.

[Nia Long]

Oh, my God. It's like a nervous breakdown. It's like a mini panic attack.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We are best friends.

[Nia Long]

We're besties. I've decided, do not disappear. Come to la.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

La. I'm coming to la.

[Nia Long]

Oh, my God. Your guest house. Oh, my God.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. All right, we have some in real life questions. We must get to a voice note. Yes, we can. We have a voice note segment. Somebody sends in. We say, we have Nia Long on the show. They send us a note.

[Nia Long]

They do it right now. That's cute.

[Tony Ayo]

Hey, guys.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You ever signed up for a phone plan thinking, wow, what a great price. And then a few months later, it's like, surprise, your bill is higher. We hate that. With Boost mobile, you pay $25 a month. Forever. That's unlimited talk, text and data starting at just $25 a month. There's no price hikes. There's no contract. And this is forever. Plus, Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network. They invested billions building 5G towers across the country. So what you need to do is visit boostmobile.com or head to your local Boost store today and get unlimited talk, text and data for $25 a month.

[Tony Ayo]

Forever.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

However, 5G speeds not available in all areas. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay 25amonth as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. And who is this person? And where do we know a name? Your mom?

[Nia Long]

Your mama.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What's her name?

[Nia Long]

Hi, Anna.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Hi, Anna.

[Nia Long]

Anna.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay, let's hear it.

[Nia Long]

Hey, Nia. I've been such a fan of yours for so long. I love your movies like Boyz Nah. And love Jones, especially outside of your work. You're also just such a beautiful woman, such a beauty icon. My question is, what's the most insane way to get snatched or get ready before a big event? I have a girls trip coming up and I just want to look hot. Just give me some tips. She didn't see the part where I said I need to go to the gym.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It doesn't matter. Nobody cares about whatever you saw in the mirror that said you needed to go to the gym. You people think of you as a hot girl, a forever hot girl, you know?

[Nia Long]

Well, you can have chance.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Don't act like you don't have chance. No, no, no.

[Nia Long]

But I. I'm a big walker. I love walking. And that's one of the reasons I love coming home. Cuz I get to walk everywhere. Like, I'm literally going to leave here, go get my mom from the hotel and go walk.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Go for a walk.

[Nia Long]

I'm a little worried about my hair because I got to work tomorrow, but. But it looks so good. I'm just gonna. Just go with it. Thank you.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

This is gonna sound cliche, but lots of water. I do a thing. This is my new thing. I take cloves, the dried cloves, and I take ginger, fresh ginger, and a cinnamon stick. And I make a tea. The cinnamon stick regulates your blood sugar so you don't go up and down and get hungry. I put it in the fridge. I get it really cold. And you can add hydration powder. You know, you can add whatever else you want to it. And I sip on that all day. If you drink cold tea or hot tea, it curbs your appetite. It flushes you out. It keeps you alert. It's hydrating cloves, cinnamon, ginger.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And water.

[Nia Long]

And water like a tea. I boil it on the stove, let it boil, simmer. When it cools down, pour it into a glass. Because we don't do plastic anymore. Well, try not to do plastic. Try really hard. I know, but red cups are kind of like a thing for black people and brown people. You can't like, just like, you're all about the environment. But I'm still hood. Where are those red cups? Because some people aren't gonna know what we're talking about.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

People know what red cups are.

[Nia Long]

Everybody. Yes, Everybody knows what a red cup is.

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

Stop.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

There's an emoji in the phone. A red cup, cup emoji. Everybody knows what a red cup is,

[Nia Long]

but have they seen him in person?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You want to show a cup?

[Nia Long]

I'm just saying like you want to

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

drink out of the cup. No, we have. No, let's do this.

[Nia Long]

We're gonna do this. But I'm saying, like, we used to do that podcast.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Who. This is a red cup, guys.

[Nia Long]

For you youngins that don't know, they know especially. Oh, they do. I didn't know maybe we had Patti

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

LaBelle on the podcast.

[Nia Long]

I saw that. I didn't see the interview, but I saw that she was coming. I didn't actually see it. I love her.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

She's amazing. She's.

[Nia Long]

She's amazing.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

She's a national treasure.

[Nia Long]

She is.

[Jeff T]

This is Jeff t. From the Club 520 podcast. Oh, my goodness. Now this is a performance you do not want to miss. The Dell xps. Powered by Intel Core Ultra. It's got the sauce, we're talking speed, style, stamina, bam. And a long lasting battery life unheard of in this league. So whether you're using it for the next level, creativity, never ending productivity, or the entertainment that has you on the edge of your shoes, this laptop is your mvp. Just look at the hustle. Is there anything you can't do? From the first second of the action all the way through to overtime, this thing is a powerhouse. The Dell xps. Built for those with all the right moves. Built for you. Find technology built to take your game up a [e-mail] XPS

[Colin Coward]

hi, it's Colin Coward from the Colin Coward podcast. Every goal starts with an assist. As Official partners of U.S. soccer, this team is ready to deliver. Sensodyne dentist recommended Defense of your sensitive teeth Centrum. Fueling your day with science backed nutrients. Advil, of course. Powerful inflammation fighting pain relief. Voltaren Arthritis gel. Helps penetrate deep, keeps the joints moving and tums ready to counterattack with fast heartburn relief. Learn how Halion can assist your game day goals at

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

the following ad is sponsored by Pets Best Insurance Services. You knew right away he's perfect. The one for you. Those puppy dog eyes, that cute little button nose. You don't even mind the drool. When you find your perfect match in a dog or cat, the love is unconditional. Your budget, on the other hand, has realistic limits. Help protect your heart and your wallet with pet insurance from Pets Best. With plants, starting from less than a dollar a day, you can get up to 90% cash back on eligible vet bills. Pets Best makes it easy to pick a plan that works for you and your bank account. Find the perfect match for your Perfect [e-mail] Pet insurance products offered and administered by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC or underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company or Independence American Insurance Company for terms and conditions, visit www.petsbest.com. policy products are underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company, Independence American Insurance Company or Ms. Transverse Insurance Insurance Company and administered by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC. $1.00 a day premium based on 2024 average new policyholder data for accident and illness plans. Pets age 0 to 10.

[Tony Ayo]

This is Tony Ayo from the Real Report with Tony Ayo and Uncle Murder. You ever notice how everything keeps going up? Rents going up? Streaming services are going up? Even your favorite burrito spot suddenly thinks salsa should cost extra. But with Boost Mobile, you and your phone bill don't have to play the Willis Go up soon game because Boost Mobile has an unlimited talk to, text and data plan at a price that'll never go up. It's the same price you'll pay for life, meaning you're set to never worry about your bill increasing again for as long as you're on the plan. While the world keeps finding new ways to nickel and dime you. Boost Mobile gives you unlimited wireless at one set price for life. Imagine something in your budget actually staying the same. You'll pay the same for unlimited wireless when you're posting mirror selfies in your 20s. And when you're posting mirror selfies in retirement. Some things never change. Switch now for unlimited wireless at a price that'll never go up. Only at boost mobile. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay 25amonth as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

She told me that when she was coming up, she would drink out of these red cups or plastic cups. She would drink wine out of them. And Nina Simone said to her, no, darling, you must drink out of crystal. And what did she call it? There was a word for it. She called it fluff up. She called it fluffing up.

[Nia Long]

Ooh, I like that.

[Colin Coward]

Right?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And Patti LaBelle since ever since then, it's crystal for her. She drinks her wine out of crystal. She drinks her water out of crystal. So there's no more. No more of these.

[Nia Long]

Okay? Sorry.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And also, they're not good for the environment.

[Nia Long]

No, they're terrible for the environment. You see, we've evolved.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We've evolved.

[Nia Long]

We've evolved.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And if Patty says we should drink

[Nia Long]

out of crystal, then we're drinking.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Simone says that we should all drink.

[Nia Long]

I mean, those are our. Those are our girls.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Then I think we must drink out of crystal.

[Nia Long]

I think so.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

By the way. Oh, this was good. Oh, you know what these are? We're not gonna have time for this today. You know how many rap lyrics you're in? Have you done this before? So many. Okay, just really quick.

[Nia Long]

Nia Long in a cherry thong.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Nia Long in a cherry thong Sipping on Perignon. Okay, Nas, that was Uchiwali, right? My only regret was too young for Nia Long.

[Nia Long]

That was a big one.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That was a good one. That was a good one because it was, like, on a hit record that played all day.

[Nia Long]

And they paused the. That made me a hot mom because that was, like, when my kids were younger.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, so you showing up to the

[Nia Long]

school like, yeah, all y' all are too young.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What did the kids say? How do the kids feel about.

[Nia Long]

I mean, we're talking about private school in la. There were very few probably who knew the song, but, no, your kids. Oh, my kids. My kids were like. My kids were like, wow. Like, my mom is cool.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You know, they think I'm cool. She's in the rap song. Trini, born black like Nia Long's grandmother, Fife Dog. Fife Dog. Aw. Five recipes. Fife looking like. Looking like I could be Nia Long. Boy, smoking that Cheech and Chong. Oh, that's Missy. That was.

[Nia Long]

Oh, Missy Elliott. Yeah. Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Touch it. Short hair like knee long Short hair like Neil Loose ones should don't need alone Short hair like me Alone loose

[Nia Long]

ones

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Short hair like knee Alone loose

[Nia Long]

ones Is that like a Southern rapper?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That is Juicy J. Juicy J.

[Nia Long]

Okay, Juicy J. Thanks, Juicy.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Couldn't keep it at home. Thought I needed a knee along Kanye Touch this guy. That's a pretty good one. It's safe to say, like, the rappers, they like you.

[Nia Long]

Yeah, I like them.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You do?

[Nia Long]

I do.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Have you ever tried that bucket?

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

No.

[Nia Long]

I should. I gotta go now. It's gonna be like, oh, she switched from young boys to robbers.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

No. Jeez. He was absolutely shooting his shot.

[Nia Long]

Was he?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

He said that it was public.

[Nia Long]

I don't. I.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You didn't get the vibe?

[Nia Long]

No, we had a conversation, and he was lovely.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

He's lovely.

[Nia Long]

He's lovely.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

All right, well, he said he was shooting a shot, but you need it long. I think most rappers are gonna shoot

[Nia Long]

their shot, but, you know, the shot shooting has not been so good. Sometimes a little, I'm like. I am, like, traditional. Ask me to go to dinner.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Mm. You don't want, like, a slick little.

[Nia Long]

I don't need a slick.

[Daniel Cormier]

Where.

[Nia Long]

I gotta figure it out. I need you to come. I think you're interesting. I think you're beautiful. Can I take you to dinner?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Does that happen often?

[Nia Long]

Never, never. Cuz it's always like. I think it's like, I hope you

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

didn't just tell them how to do it. Now everywhere you go, I think you're interesting. I think you're beautiful. Can I take you to dinner?

[Daniel Cormier]

Hey, guys.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want and I could really make a difference? Well, you are not alone. And this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the w. With the knowledge, the skills, and everything you need to build the future that you want. And you can make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to Waldenu. Edu and take that first step. Walden University. University Set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shiv. All right, go in your IRL bowl. Pick a question.

[Nia Long]

Oh, if this were your last day on Earth, what would you be doing? I'd be eating ice cream M&MS. And watching a movie in bed with my kids and my mom.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That's a good day.

[Nia Long]

That's a great day.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That's a great day. Day.

[Nia Long]

And we'd be very hydrated because we'd have advanced night repair. Ryan, where's the products?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, we have products.

[Nia Long]

Come bring the products.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I feel like they should be like game show music.

[Nia Long]

There's products. Yay.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay. What is this?

[Nia Long]

So, okay, I gotta put my glasses on.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, my God.

[Nia Long]

This is. This right here. This is my holy grail. I love, love this so much. It's advanced night repair. It's been around forever, and it's a serum. You can. This is how I use it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

If she uses this now till the trip, will she.

[Nia Long]

Oh, yeah. That's actually a great. Cause it'll give the glow. It'll give the glow of like, I've been taking care of myself. So at night, wash your face. Do your routine of washing your face. Then you want to gonna pat yourself dry. I like to put a thick coat on and go to bed. I wake up in the morning, fine, lines gone. Your face is feeling good and hydrated. But I also do it throughout the day if I'm on a plane. If you're traveling, put in your purse.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, my God. I've been on so many planes lately.

[Nia Long]

It's so good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Can I. I'm keeping this.

[Nia Long]

That's yours.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay, good.

[Nia Long]

It's Yours. You can open it, too.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It's night repair. But it doesn't have to be night. Like, if I'm on the plane, I can.

[Nia Long]

I mean, they say night repair, and I get in trouble for this every time. But honestly, you can do it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay.

[Nia Long]

Right, Ryan,

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Morning.

[Nia Long]

They recommend that you use it morning and night. Thank you.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Thank you, Ryan. Thanks, Ryan.

[Nia Long]

I need a. If you just put it right here. I'm good. Just got it here. It's the wine.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, my God.

[Nia Long]

So good. Isn't that nice?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It's even good on your hands.

[Nia Long]

I put it on my hands and then this. This is the revitalizing according to Chris Rock.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That's how women could tell their age.

[Nia Long]

Chris Rock. I want to see his hands, right?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We got to get him on the pod because I want to give him a piece of my mind.

[Nia Long]

We should. Chris, where are you?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I've never booked somebody to give them a piece of my mind.

[Nia Long]

Oh, my God. That would be so good, right?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I have so many people I would like to give a piece of my mind to.

[Nia Long]

This right here is the Revitalizing Supreme. Plus. I'm gonna get that.

[Tony Ayo]

That.

[Nia Long]

I'll take that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Do you see it?

[Nia Long]

I just need it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, you can't tell.

[Nia Long]

I need it on the camera. Clean that. You can,

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

huh?

[Nia Long]

You can. You see the difference? You see?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

I'll take 15 of them.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I'm into it. I love. I love that you dab and pat your own makeup and you put it. I'm good, thank you. Okay. We're best friends. You and I are best friends. We just been. We've just been separated by distance.

[Nia Long]

Did you try this?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

No. What do I do?

[Nia Long]

This is the Revitalizing Supreme.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Plus, do I put this on top of this?

[Nia Long]

You can put it on top of this. But this.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You gonna put it on top of your makeup?

[Nia Long]

No, this is the neck cream that goes face to neck.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yo, Keke was not lying because your neck is cool.

[Colin Coward]

Good.

[Nia Long]

It's good, but you gotta work on it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I know. My neck is okay.

[Nia Long]

Your neck is good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It's not like yours.

[Nia Long]

You like a baby because you gotta go. You have to massage it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I'm so bad. I'm like. I'm good. Ready to go.

[Nia Long]

No. I literally spend hours in the bathroom in the morning.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Really?

[Nia Long]

Yes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That would make me.

[Nia Long]

And I go to bed at 9:30.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That would make me really.

[Nia Long]

9:30. I'm such a dud. I'm really a dude now.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We gotta. I want to let this go. I want this to just. I don't want to edit this either. I want us to have four minutes on camera running this cream through our neck.

[Nia Long]

Now put the excess on your hands, though. It's good. Like your cuticles. So good.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I definitely use too much, right?

[Nia Long]

No, I. I'm. I am a.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

No such thing.

[Nia Long]

I don't think there's any such thing as too much.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay.

[Nia Long]

Never. The. More the. Isn't that nice?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That's really. You see, that's really good.

[Nia Long]

It leaves a nice sheen, huh? Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

All right.

[Nia Long]

I'm telling you.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Thank you, Mia. So exciting.

[Nia Long]

There's more goodies for you too.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

There is?

[Nia Long]

Yeah. We can't. We came. We came with you shop the campaign for Estee Lauder.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Who is it?

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

It so.

[Nia Long]

So beautiful.

[Tony Ayo]

You just.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You just had to insert that. You have a thing for the Estee Lauder guy?

[Nia Long]

No, he was beautiful, beautiful man. And she drank him down in the alley.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

He like.

[Nia Long]

Actually, I was like, is this is really good casting, cuz for me to turn that down. Right?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You're that girl.

[Nia Long]

I mean, I guess.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. Yeah. Mm.

[Nia Long]

Okay.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Do you have a choice in the casting? Like, do you like.

[Nia Long]

I did and I also had Benny Boom direct.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, I love that.

[Nia Long]

I know. I was like, let's do a 90s throwback. And Benny was there and I called him. I was like, could you do. What do you think about that?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I didn't know Benny did that.

[Nia Long]

Yeah, we had fun.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So you picked the guy? I picked.

[Nia Long]

Well, they gave me a couple. The brand gave me, like, this is what they gave the storyline and the breakdown and they said, these are the guys we think. What do you think? And we all picked.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What's his name? Broderick Hunter.

[Nia Long]

Mr. Hunter.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You said him. That guy.

[Nia Long]

I said him. Did you know immediately? Yeah, did I know immediately?

[Tony Ayo]

What was it?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What was the. What was the thing that made it.

[Nia Long]

He's beautiful.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Just. He was beautiful.

[Nia Long]

He's gorgeous.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I'm sure they put a bunch of beautiful men in front of you.

[Nia Long]

No, it was him and another guy that was good looking, but very different good looking. The other guy was like a little more rugged looking, but still really handsome. But I knew for this because it was a quick pop and he was familiar to me because he's an actor. I thought, you know, women are gonna recognize him. So it's not. It's. It's about selling the story. Right? Like, I can look outside of, like him just being a good looking guy. It was also selling the story. He also has really good skin and he was recognizable.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So do you Ever. Do you. Have you been able to choose leading men before?

[Nia Long]

I have.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

When did you do. Can you say or you can't say?

[Nia Long]

Even with Love Jones, it was, it was Gary Dordan. Oh, wow. And Lorenz Tate.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You said.

[Nia Long]

And I said Lorenz. And what happened was, is the director showed our screen test to a group of women that were his friends. They showed both screen tests, mine with Gary and mine with Lorenz. And they were like, definitely them as a couple. And Gary was great too.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Handsome and all the things.

[Nia Long]

Beautiful. Right. But it was just we hadn't seen two brown skinned black people in love that looked like they were from, you know, the same world. Like we looked right together.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. So isn't that crazy to think.

[Nia Long]

I know that it was.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So it was just a good movie too, that you guys.

[Nia Long]

Beautiful movie.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You guys brought these characters to life and the music and everything felt so authentic and fresh and new at the time. But now in retrospect, it's like, wow, it took that long to. I know, to show a couple that way in a way that's kind of like, wow, you know, I don't know. But now since then, I feel like there's been so many times that we. I feel like it really. The floodgates opened well, because we were

[Nia Long]

coming off this, you know, renaissance of like hood tales, which were also important and great and cinematically beautiful, but they were different slice of life for black and brown people. And then all of a sudden it was like, okay, how many versions of this can we do? And like, where's the humanity? Where's the love? Because right at the end of the day, that's really what is the most important thing is love. And so when I read the script, I was like, I have to do this movie. And Helena Echegoyan, who was a producer on Friday, was like, I have this other project I want to share with you. And she's, you know, she was like very casual about it, but like she was on the front line fighting for black people to have their stories be told. She's since retired from the industry, but. But what she did do was incredibly important and she became my friend and she guided the director on what to write and how to put the whole thing together. And she got the movie greenlit.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Wow.

[Nia Long]

And it was considered a flop when it came out because it didn't make very much money. But the thing is, it was a cult classic. They didn't put the money behind it, they didn't put the marketing behind it. They said, yeah, we'll do this movie, but we're not going to put much money behind it. And so he. We'll just see what happens.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And then.

[Nia Long]

And then it became a cult classic, and we just did another film together, which is a very different film.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I love that.

[Nia Long]

But I love Lorenz.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Is the chemistry still.

[Nia Long]

Yes, we still.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What is that?

[Nia Long]

It's. It's. I tell him all the time. I completely trust him. I completely trust him as my guy in a movie.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

And he completely trusts me. And I can say, like, we can have very honest conversations and we can agree or disagree, but there's a kinship there. And I think we also know what we hold for the community, and so we guard that. And I especially guarded it in this last project because I was very, like, hypersensitive to making sure we were in pocket. Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

The standard.

[Nia Long]

Standard. That's it. Because you can't be what everyone else is doing if you're one of the originators.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Talk that, Mia.

[Nia Long]

I mean, that's the only I'm going to talk today, because it's not even an ego thing. It's just facts.

[Pets Best Insurance Announcer]

Yes.

[Nia Long]

That's what it is.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay. All right.

[Nia Long]

In real life. Okay. In real life. In real life, tell me, what are

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

you most proud about? About your career and your. And who you are now?

[Nia Long]

I am so proud that I've lasted this long, that I still have a place in a space of relevance, that I am so supported and beloved by women and that I, even though I don't always know them, know where the love is coming from. I feel the vibration in that support and a genuine. And a genuine connection that I've been able to connect with women, with black women that look like me, that don't look like me, but. But are a part of who I am, you know, because we're all connected in some way. So I'm. I'm really proud that I've been able to make that impact. And I think that they're. Sure, there are other accolades that maybe others have gotten that I haven't gotten, but where I am is the sweet spot because they never leave. You know what I mean? Like, they're always there. I can always turn to my core group of supporters and know that they have my back. And that, to me, is more important than any award, than any red carpet, than any. Anything, because it's a connection to humanity. And at the end of the day, that's what's really most important to me. I mean, the whole point of all art is to make people feel something, whether it's Visual.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

Whether you're on stage, whether you're on film, on television, on the radio is to evoke. And that was your prayer today too.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That's so funny you say that.

[Nia Long]

I know. I just thought about it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

My prayer before the pod was that we would have a conversation that would empower, inspire, or make somebody feel.

[Nia Long]

Seen My mother's calling.

[Tony Ayo]

Oh, my.

[Daniel Cormier]

Cute.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Look how Answer the phone.

[Nia Long]

Why'd she just hug up? And we're almost done.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I know, but, like, she'll be like, hi.

[Nia Long]

Are you coming back?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay, we're almost done.

[Nia Long]

I thought we were going for a walk.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Is that how she talks?

[Nia Long]

She definite has a strong New York accent.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I love that. It's very cute. In real life. What are you still working on?

[Nia Long]

Myself.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Forever, right?

[Nia Long]

Forever. Forever in a day, just being aware, just being conscious, just deciding what I can be better at and deciding what I am, what I am committed to, because there are certain things that are just not gonna change.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

When was the last time you cried from gratitude?

[Nia Long]

The other day, I cried from gratitude, actually on the flight here because of my star on Hollywood Boulevard. Cause I was thinking about the times my mom and I used to walk on Hollywood Boulevard, and we would read the names of the stars on the street, street. And she'd say, well, one day, you're gonna have a star on Hollywood Boulevard. I was, like, nine, before I even started acting. I was on the flight. I started crying. I started thinking about how incredibly blessed I am and how this journey has been not easy at all. And it's still not easy. But there's something cool about it, because it just seemed like the most unrealistic thing that could ever happen to my life.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Mm.

[Nia Long]

And now it's happening.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I think you're giving me a message now, too, because, you know, I got one for radio. They have a radio Academy. And I got a star on the wall. No. Well, I was. I received the invitation that I got. I won the thing. I just never have gone to accept it, because, number one, it's expensive. It's expensive.

[Nia Long]

I know. You have to get someone to pay for it. And then I'm like, lionsgate treated me. Oh, isn't that nice?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That is nice.

[Nia Long]

I thought it was really cool.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I'm gonna get somebody to treat me because I'm like, do I really care about this?

[Nia Long]

Yes, you care.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I didn't know if I did, but now you're making me feel like I should.

[Nia Long]

Well, here's the thing. It's not about the star being on the ground. It's about the acknowledgment of your body of work. And when you're gone, there's gonna be some amazing Latina radio host who's gonna look back on what you did and go, oh, she did it. I could do it too. So it's legacy. Right. And because we're like real people, the idea of legacy is kind of like, oh, that's. Is that what I'm doing? Because as far as I'm concerned, I'm just living. I'm not planning for this to be some legacy.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. But.

[Nia Long]

But if you threaten what I've done, that's when I realize it's legacy.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We are the same human being.

[Nia Long]

Yeah. I'm like, you're not about to mess up.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Sometimes I'll see stories and I'll feel written out of something, and that's when I feel threatened. And that's the times where I'm like, let me. Let me remind, like, just how you did. You gotta remind just how you did. About Love Jones being

[Nia Long]

that is ours.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Portal for this new storytelling.

[Nia Long]

Yes.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Or the beginning of this new storytelling.

[Nia Long]

Very protective. And that started in the 90s.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

Yeah. You gotta remind.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I just think that's lesson for women. Yes. In general, whether you're an actress, whether you do what I do, whatever. Like, I just think the lesson for women is, like, sometimes it's okay to

[Nia Long]

brush your shoulders off.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. Remind a motherfucker all day. What.

[Jeff T]

What?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You have worked really hard.

[Nia Long]

Because men do it all the time.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. Shit was hard.

[Nia Long]

It was hard.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And we did some dope. Shit.

[Nia Long]

And we did dope.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I did that.

[Nia Long]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

In real life. Well, what's a guilty pleasure?

[Nia Long]

Guilty pleasure. I probably shop too much. I probably shop way too much. I shop.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That's where we are the same.

[Nia Long]

We're not the same.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I hate shopping.

[Daniel Cormier]

You do?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I want to die.

[Nia Long]

Not even online.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You don't have to go it online. But then it comes and I gotta try it on and I gotta ship it back if it doesn't fit. It's like, you know, work of shopping. I really don't care.

[Nia Long]

So we should vacation together. Because then I wouldn't spend unnecessary money

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

if somebody could lay my clothes out for me today, every day.

[Nia Long]

Oh, you would like that?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I would.

[Nia Long]

I would hate that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

You would?

[Nia Long]

Yes. Because what if I'm not in the mood for that?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Fair enough. But if it looked fine enough, you just wear it. I'm like, it's fine. I'll wear this. You mean for the podcast? Yeah.

[Jeff T]

No, that's.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I'll just wear this. It's fine. Yeah, I can't with the shopping and the.

[Nia Long]

Do you overpack?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yes. Because I don't know what I'm going to wear. So I just throw everything in, and then when I get there, I'll figure out which of this I'm going to throw on.

[Nia Long]

Okay?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Terrible. I don't have that really girl gene of, like, every.

[Nia Long]

You know, what I find with myself is that I'm a sucker for, like, trying something new. So right now, and this is my goal when I leave this New York trip, okay? I have every single thing that I need. I don't need. I don't need a sock, Okay? I have the. I have the little hot, trendy Michael Jackson socks to wear with my loafers. Like, I have. Have it. I should have worn them today, but I didn't bring them. But it would have been cute with this outfit.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It would have been really cute.

[Nia Long]

Okay? When I get home, it's purging. Because now I'm at the place where I only want the things that actually really work for me. And I want to give everything else away. The things I love, the things I love. I don't want the things I kind of love. I want the things I have a deep, loving connection with.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Closet's probably crazy. It's gotta be crazy. You got pieces from the 90s.

[Nia Long]

I do. In storage. I bet I still have my Kenneth Cole black snake embossed shoes that I wore when Prince tried to talk to me and I didn't know who it was. Prince.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Did you keep them because it was yours?

[Nia Long]

Yes. I was like, this was the night I met Denzel Washington and Prince in the same night.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I'm going to keep these.

[Nia Long]

I'm keeping these pumps for my daughter because surely she'll have some. I don't. I mean, I'm never going to have a daughter, but my granddaughter. Yeah, I'm done with kids.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Was he shooting a shot? Was a shot being Prince? Yeah. Oh, yes.

[Nia Long]

He grabbed my hand and I was like. And then we got to the car and my hating ass girlfriend at the time, because she should have told me earlier, like, let's be real, it was Prince. She goes, girl, you know that was Prince. I go, why didn't you tell me before we left the building?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

So how would you have played this different?

[Nia Long]

I.

[Daniel Cormier]

If.

[Nia Long]

Well, if I knew it was Prince, I would have just turned around and said, hello. And then I met him years later, once I became an actress, and I was like, I met you a long time ago. And he Was lovely. But we talked about my hair the whole time because he liked my haircut.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

He was no longer shooting a shot.

[Nia Long]

He was not.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, so he wasn't giving you the arm touch because you were knee along? Because you weren't even knee along.

[Nia Long]

No, he was giving me the arm touch because I was petite and brown, and that's what he likes. And you know, he's like, who's this little young hot girl in the fake leather pumps and the outfit that I wore at every party?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And then what was. How did you meet Denzel in the same day?

[Nia Long]

Denzel was just there. I mean, I didn't talk to Denzel at that point, but I was like,

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

denzel Washington's here putting these shoes in storage.

[Nia Long]

Putting these. These shoes have miles on them.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

In real life, what is something that you are no longer apologizing for? For.

[Nia Long]

Knowing what I know. And I'm also not negotiating. I'm not. I can't.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

No apologizing, no negotiating.

[Nia Long]

No. I'm open to learning and growing and understanding, but what I know works for. For myself is part of my truth. And that's not negotiable. Like, you know, I do. You might question, but, you know, we always know.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We always know and we convince ourselves to. For other mad different reasons to ignore the things that we know.

[Nia Long]

And you've known it for a long time.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. So now you listen to that now.

[Nia Long]

I don't even like if I. There's a part of me that even wants to try to doubt it for 30 seconds. I like, no, you know, it's freedom. That's where the freedom is when you know what you know. Otherwise you're like trapped inside of your head and you're.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. So good.

[Nia Long]

Going back and forth.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Okay, last two. What do you pray for most?

[Nia Long]

I pay for. Pray for patience. Because I'm not the most patient person. Person in the world.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

We've learned that about you.

[Nia Long]

Yeah, I'm not. I try, but it's like so many things are really obvious to me that I'm like, how do you not see that? Yeah, how do you not see that? Do you not see that?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Get away from me.

[Nia Long]

Because if I have to tell you, that means that we're not on the same trajectory.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I get really impatient when I'm working really hard. Hard. And I'm tired and I feel like other people are not rising to their occasion.

[Nia Long]

Listen to me.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And so I have to now engage in your motherfucking occasion when I'm trying to just hold on to.

[Nia Long]

You know, that is the realest thing ever. How do you manage it? Because I just tell everyone to leave. I'm like, it out.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And then.

[Nia Long]

Then. Then they never want to come back. And then I'm, like, doing all the work by myself.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, yeah. You can do it all.

[Nia Long]

You want to go, go.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Jeff T]

No.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

And then you're like.

[Nia Long]

I'm like, help.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

I need help.

[Nia Long]

Help.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Help. Well, it's. You know, we will try to figure it out.

[Nia Long]

No, I. I try to be more patient. I find that when you actually explain yourself where you're coming from, people go, oh, oh. Because they're not thinking what I'm thinking. No one can read my mind.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. You know, how's that working for you?

[Nia Long]

The part. I think the hard part about it is that when you're famous, nobody wants to really tell you. And everyone's like, yeah, it's good. Okay. I got it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Oh, yes, ma'. Am. Yeah.

[Nia Long]

And I don't. I. I really want you to understand. I don't want you to feel like you have to placate me. Like, let's have the tough conversations.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah.

[Nia Long]

Let's dig deep. Let's. You can tell me that I'm being whatever. I don't care. It's not gonna make me not like you.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah, that's good.

[Nia Long]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

That keeps you from having yes. Men around you.

[Nia Long]

Yes. I'm like, say the truth.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Say what it is.

[Nia Long]

I'm gonna.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Let's put it on the table.

[Nia Long]

Let's put it on the table and dissect it. Because when we rebuild, we're gonna be on solid foundation. If you're Fleming and flamming and dipping and dapping. I don't really.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Or we can get to the truth quicker that this doesn't work. Work.

[Nia Long]

That's it right there.

[Tony Ayo]

Yes.

[Nia Long]

Process of elimination.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Let's just get to it.

[Nia Long]

Let's get to it.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Because in work, in relationships, everything. In friendships, everything. Let's get to it.

[Nia Long]

If we're going to be lovers, we're lovers. If we're going to be in a deep, heavy relationship, we're that. If we're going to be friends, we're that. If we're going to be business partners, we're that. Like, you can do that.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yes.

[Nia Long]

There's no more gray areas.

[Daniel Cormier]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yes. She's my queen. She's my twin queen. I hate gray.

[Nia Long]

Gray is horrible.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

It's terrible.

[Nia Long]

What sign are you?

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Capricorn. Oh, yeah.

[Nia Long]

I like Capricorn. Women, y' all don't play.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What are you?

[Nia Long]

I'm a Scorpio. Serious about your business.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

A little crazy, though. No.

[Nia Long]

Scorpios.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Is that. Is that not a thing?

[Nia Long]

No, we're sexual. Oh, we like to.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah, we're very passionate.

[Nia Long]

Passionate.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Sexual. She didn't say passionate.

[Nia Long]

Well, those are the same. You can be sexual and passionate. But I would say. I would say we feel things. I feel things deeply. I can't speak for every Scorpio person, but I feel things deeply. And I also know the truth in every situation.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Yeah. So people will call you crazy, but it's not that.

[Nia Long]

No, I'm. I don't think anyone's ever called me crazy.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Well, not you. I'm saying maybe they have.

[Nia Long]

I don't really care.

[Jeff T]

Care.

[Nia Long]

That's one of those things of. I don't give a. I don't give a. You call me crazy.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

All right, our final question. We ask this every episode to every guest.

[Nia Long]

Okay.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

If God were to text you right now, it's a message to Nia from God directly.

[Nia Long]

I'm tuning in to him.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

What would it say?

[Nia Long]

Good job, girl.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Today or in life?

[Nia Long]

In life. I think in life. Good job. Because he knows how hard I work, and he also knows my heart.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Well, then, good job, girl.

[Nia Long]

Good job. This is me along in real life.

[Podcast Host (possibly Angie Martinez)]

Hey, guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comment and check out all of the other episodes we have on Angie Martinez. IRL plus Podcast.

[Colin Coward]

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[Daniel Cormier]

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[Nia Long]

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[Nia Long]

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