Angie Martinez IRL - Tems: Embodying Intimacy In Love & Standing Firm In Faith

Summary

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Angie Martinez IRL – TEMS: Embodying Intimacy In Love & Standing Firm In Faith

Podcast: Joe and Jada (iHeartPodcasts and The Volume)
Episode: "Angie Martinez IRL - Tems: Embodying Intimacy In Love & Standing Firm In Faith"
Date: April 2, 2026
Guests: TEMS (Nigerian Grammy-winning artist), Angie Martinez (host)

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Episode Overview

In this rich, contemplative episode, host Angie Martinez sits down with Nigerian superstar TEMS for a soul-baring conversation about personal evolution, faith, the complexities of love, and staying grounded through seismic life and career changes. Together, they navigate TEMS’s journey from a reserved girl in Lagos to an international Grammy winner, unpacking her spiritual philosophy, her creative process, vulnerability and boundaries, and what it really means to love. The episode is intimate, wise, and deeply human – offering inspiration and practical wisdom for listeners navigating their own journeys.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Evolution: From Lagos Bedroom to Global Stages

[03:13–04:13]

• Angie introduces TEMS as a trailblazer: Oscar-nominated, two-time Grammy winner, songwriter, producer, entrepreneur, and co-owner of a football club.

• TEMS reflects on how much she has changed since her last interview:

  “I don't think I'm the same person that you met then for sure.” (TEMS, 04:13)

• She credits experience, growth, and evolving purpose for her transformation.

2. Sensitivity, Artistry, and Self-Critique

[05:10–05:54]

• TEMS admits she is sensitive about her music and artistic vision, but less so about things she can't change (like her appearance):

  “I'm sensitive about my music… But anything else? I'm not too sensitive.” (TEMS, 05:22)

• Her possessiveness over her early music came from its being a secret solace, protecting her from outside criticism.

3. Early Musical Influence and Falling in Love with Music

[06:25–07:19]

• First love of music came from Celine Dion’s "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" at age 7.
• The melodies and emotions of Dion's music deeply resonated with her as a child.

4. Love, Faith, and God as the Source

[08:12–10:04]

• The meaning of love, the EP title "Love is a Kingdom," and spirituality:

  “God is love and God is the kingdom that I'm talking about… the type of love that everyone is truly looking for is not the love that is physical, but one that is spiritual. It's spiritually intimate… you become love before you even meet someone.” (TEMS, 08:12–08:51)

• Experiences with “toxic love” and realizing love isn’t ownership or obsession:

  "Love is not… obsession, no, it's not possession. We can't, I can't own another human being." (TEMS, 10:05)

5. Love & Relationships: Spirituality as the Foundation

[13:10–14:41]

• Angie notes that the happiest relationships she knows include spirituality—praying together, belief in something bigger.

• TEMS agrees:

  “Because what's the reason? Why would you love me if you… are the God of your life, then why are you… why would you love me forever? You could just discard me anytime you want.” (TEMS, 14:03)

• She sees marriage as a possible future step, only if it’s compatible and growth-inducing.

6. Authenticity in Music Reflecting Lived Experience

[15:25–16:58]

• Her EP is “definitely inspired by the things I've gone through in real life.”

• Songs document stages of her understanding love, uncertainty in relationships, and conversations with God:

  “At the end there's a song called 'Is There a Reason'… that's about me speaking to God and wondering why he chose me.” (TEMS, 16:06)

• She’s motivated by a sense of responsibility and gratitude for her blessings.

7. Obedience to Faith: Quitting Her Job for Music

[20:08–35:07]

• TEMS recounts receiving a spiritual “word” to “take a leap of faith” and leave her marketing job, despite fear and pressure from family:

  “I was crying and I was shaking and I was like, I'm going to do music. And I know that that sounds crazy. I know it sounds crazy, but this is what I truly believe that God has told me to do… If I perish, I perish.” (TEMS, 28:47–33:14)

• She credits her entire career to listening to that “voice” and acting despite terror:

  “I wouldn't be TEMS if I didn’t… answer that voice.” (TEMS, 34:31)

• After months of struggle, she released her first single “Mr. Rebel” in August 2018, following encouragement from her cousin.

8. Navigating Noise, Online Negativity, and Protecting Peace

[38:38–44:51]

• TEMS discusses learning to discern which voices in her head are genuinely her own, and how social media chatter seeps into self-belief:

  “A lot of the voices that people hear are not theirs. They're opinions that they've read or they've heard from other people.” (TEMS, 38:46)

• She advocates for online discipline, avoiding negative comments, and staying present.

• Fame was initially isolating and confusing:

  “You didn't want to talk to me before. Why do you want to talk to me now?… I was so afraid.” (TEMS, 43:39–44:49)

9. Healing from Rejection & Embracing Her Self-Worth

[48:56–54:36]

• TEMS reflects on former self-rejection and learning to accept genuine love and recognition.
• She realized her identity and purpose are rooted in “what has been allocated to me,” not in deserving:

  “…what I'm learning is that I'm here for not myself, but to be a light…” (TEMS, 53:10)

10. Letting Go, Hope, and Evolving Through Faith

[54:48–58:56]

• TEMS describes her path as ongoing, releasing control, and being open to her “final form.”
• Awards and recognition serve as confirmation that her faith-led path was the right one, surpassing her own dreams:

  “If somebody told me I'm gonna give you anything you want right now. I would have told you, Yeah, I wanna do the Friday Night Live. That was gonna be my dream.” (TEMS, 56:42)

11. Guarding Mental Health in a Dark World

[58:30–61:19]

• Both discuss limiting news/media consumption to preserve hope and positivity:

  “News is meant to be negative… I try and live life in reality…" (TEMS, 59:02–59:32)

• TEMS has a "no social media" phone for communication, throws her phone across the room if she catches herself doom-scrolling.

12. Givers, Boundaries, and Mutual Relationships

[62:21–67:02]

• Listener question leads to unpacking TEMS’s giving nature—rooted in empathy, faith, upbringing, but something she’s learned to temper:

  “I've learned to be a cheerful giver, but also know when to step back… I can be the one saying thank you.” (TEMS, 65:57)

• Over-giving can create imbalance and attract “takers.”

• Discipline in giving is key for sustaining healthy relationships and her own wellbeing.

13. Empathy, Childhood, and Humanitarian Roots

[72:32–73:27]

• TEMS attributes her empathy to her mother's humanitarianism and childhood in Nigeria, seeing suffering and wanting to ease others’ pain.

14. Letting Go in Love

[80:33–86:10]

• What she’s most proud of: her ability to say “no” to unhealthy situations and relationships and maintain her boundaries without resentment.
• Her approach to ending relationships is practical, kind, and rooted in mutual well-being—not in anger:

  “…when I do cut people off, it's not like without explanation as well… I have faith in you.” (TEMS, 82:12–82:38)

15. Constant Learning and Growth

[86:10–87:32]

• TEMS credits her self-awareness journey to prayer, research, asking questions, and spiritual seeking—transforming her from highly emotional to more grounded and wise.

16. Future Aspirations

[87:57–88:55]

• Next step: expanding beyond music into business, politics, and investing in her future:

  “I think this next chapter is diversification, you know, of investments.” (TEMS, 88:55)

17. If God Texted Her Right Now...

[89:11–90:09]

• Angie asks, “If God were to text you right now, what would it say?”
• TEMS:

  “I am with you. He would probably be like, 'My daughter, I am with you.'” (TEMS, 89:31)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You become love before you even meet someone… you recognize it instantly because you know where the source comes from, which is God.” (TEMS, 08:41)
• “I was very people pleasing. I didn't want to disappoint anybody. And that was one of the first times I felt like I was disappointing everyone.” (TEMS, 29:43)
• “The proof of your belief is your obedience.” (TEMS, 32:45)
• “Once I realize that, I stop reading opinions sometimes… if I'm scrolling… I just scroll.” (TEMS, 41:21)
• “It's about awareness, you know?… I try not to be online too much because anything can pop out at you and you can't stop it.” (TEMS, 41:44)
• “Letting go is very hard. Right. So I understand, because that was really hard for me.” (TEMS, 54:48)
• “I'm not all the way there. I'm not. This is not my final form at all, really.” (TEMS, 55:19)
• “I know when something isn't for me and I say no. And that's it.” (TEMS, 80:34)
• “When I do cut people off, it's not like without explanation… I want you to know that you can do so much better. And I believe in you.” (TEMS, 82:12–82:38)
• “If God were to text you right now… 'I am with you.'” (TEMS, 89:31)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:13] – Angie introduces TEMS’s achievements and rise to stardom.
• [05:10] – TEMS discusses her sensitivity as an artist.
• [08:12] – Spiritual meaning of love and title of her EP.
• [20:08] – Story of quitting her job after a spiritual “word.”
• [34:31] – Reflecting on how faith decision impacted her career.
• [38:46] – Navigating internal/external voices; protecting mental health.
• [48:56] – Healing from self-rejection and learning to accept love.
• [54:36] – Becoming, letting go, and ongoing evolution.
• [62:21] – On being a chronic giver and implications for relationships.
• [80:34] – On standing firm in boundaries and self-respect.
• [89:11] – If God texted TEMS, what He would say.

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Tone & Atmosphere

The conversation is gentle, reflective, and open-hearted, characterized by deep introspection and spiritual sincerity. Angie provides a warm, affirming space; TEMS is humble, insightful, and unscrollingly honest about her struggles, growth, and hopes.

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For Listeners

This episode is an essential listen for anyone seeking understanding about faith, vulnerability, love, personal boundaries, or the journey from self-doubt to self-worth. TEMS's story—and her willingness to dissect her journey—is a powerful guide for embracing both purpose and imperfection along the way.

Transcript

[TEMS]

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[TEMS]

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[TEMS]

So I've learned to be a cheerful giver, but also know when to step back. Like, I don't need to be the one that people say thank you to. I can be the one saying thank you.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

Oh, yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

Because, you know, sometimes people don't realize it's almost selfish. Like you said.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

I took care of everyone.

[TEMS]

I took. You know, I did that. Well, we didn't ask you to. Exactly. Exactly.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile.

[Angie Martinez]

Okay. A girl from Lagos who used to sing alone in her bedroom. That girl is now one of the most celebrated artists on the planet. She is Oscar nominated and the only Nigerian artist, male or female, to win two Grammys. She is a singer, songwriter, producer, entrepreneur,

[Podcast Host/Producer]

and now co owner of the San Diego Football Club.

[Angie Martinez]

And then most recently, her ep, wrote and produced almost entirely by herself. It's called Love is a Kingdom.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

Tims is on IRL today.

[Angie Martinez]

Guys.

[TEMS]

What's up, my love? What's good? Thank you so much for having me. This is very exciting.

[Angie Martinez]

It's exciting for me too.

[TEMS]

And a great intro that was. I was like, whoa.

[Angie Martinez]

It's funny because I haven't seen you in a little while. Last time you came to the radio show and since then, a Grammy happened.

[TEMS]

Yes.

[Angie Martinez]

A tour happened. An EP happened. Some things have happened.

[TEMS]

Wow. Things have happened.

[Angie Martinez]

Things have happened.

[TEMS]

It's been. It's been a whole. I. I don't think I'm the same person that you met then for sure.

[Angie Martinez]

Okay.

[TEMS]

Definitely.

[Angie Martinez]

Like, tell me how.

[TEMS]

Oh, I just think I've just evolved. I think I'm. I'm. I just know more. I mean, so much experience. Like, there's just so many things that have happened since I last saw you that I don't even remember. I don't remember. I. I think I watched that interview finally, like the full thing maybe like a year or so ago.

[Angie Martinez]

Really?

[TEMS]

Yeah. And I was like, what was I. Why was. What was going on?

[Angie Martinez]

Do you watch your interviews normally or.

[TEMS]

No, no, I try. It's not that I don't. I just. I'm just like, you know, it's not for me. It's for them.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[TEMS]

You know, they watch it. I. I'm like, trying not to.

[Angie Martinez]

Are you Critical of yourself?

[TEMS]

Sometimes, yeah, I think so.

[Angie Martinez]

Are you, are you sensitive?

[TEMS]

I am, I'm, I am an artist, you know.

[Angie Martinez]

So you sensitive about your shit?

[TEMS]

I'm sensitive about my music, you know. Anything else? I'm not too sensitive. I'm not sensitive about like, yeah, like, you know, I think the way I look facially, I can't do much about. You know, body wise, I can't do much about. So everything that I can't really do much about, I'm not too critical of myself, but I think music is like, I think a bit more of a sensitive topic for me. And like the direction of like visuals and things like that.

[Angie Martinez]

Where does that come from? Like, when did that start and where does that come from?

[TEMS]

Um, I think. Well, you know, when I, when I was making music or when I started out writing stuff, it used to be a secret. I didn't tell anyone. So it used to be my thing. I was very possessive over it. You know, people couldn't hurt me because I had something that nobody knew about and it was mine. And then, you know.

[Angie Martinez]

I know we talked about this a little bit before.

[TEMS]

A little, yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

But how did you know how to do it?

[TEMS]

I don't know. I, I, I loved it. Like I fell in love with music. You're how old I was. Celine Dion was the first person.

[Angie Martinez]

Like the Titanic song.

[TEMS]

It wasn't. It was, it was the song that goes just all coming back to me now. You touch me like this. Oh, and when you meet. It was like.

[Angie Martinez]

That was the song that did it for you.

[TEMS]

That was, that was the song. And then that's the way it is. And that's the way it is. That was like, oh, that was my. But I was like maybe like seven when I first heard that song.

[Angie Martinez]

But what was it though? Like, was it the sonically or.

[TEMS]

Sonically? I think the melody. I felt like she, the songs were very like they just touched my heart.

[Angie Martinez]

What were you going through or what were you learning when you made this last project? You don't have to say who.

[TEMS]

Well, I mean, it's a couple of people, but I think. I even till now I'm learning the true meaning of love. And ha.

[Angie Martinez]

As we're all, we're all trying to figure that out. Are you close?

[TEMS]

I am very. I, I think I've, I think I am close in understanding that what love truly is.

[Angie Martinez]

Oh yeah. Please share.

[TEMS]

You know, please tell us first of all the reason why I said love is a kingdom is because God is love and God is the kingdom that I'm talking about. And the type of love that. That everyone is truly looking for is not the love that is physical, but one that is spiritual. It's intimately, it's spiritually intimate. It's more of like, it's. It's in your heart, it's in your character, it's in your personality. You become love before you even meet someone. And when. And when you meet someone who has also embodied love, then you know, you recognize it instantly because you know where the source comes from, which is God.

[Angie Martinez]

I love that. Have you gotten there? Have you had a love like that?

[TEMS]

Well, earthly. I. I don't know. Well, you know what? Actually, let me be. We're being honest here, right? So right now I'm in this stage in my life where God is teaching me about love through people. But it's not through, like, romantic love necessarily. It's the way certain people in my life show up for me. It's how I see my flaws. Like, I see that I messed up. And nobody's saying that I messed up. Everybody's encouraging me. Everybody's still showing up for me. And to be honest, I have experienced, like, a love where I thought was love. And it was like. It was more like when someone is trying to own you, you know, they think that they own you. And love is not. That's not.

[Angie Martinez]

That's not a godly love.

[TEMS]

It's not obsession. No, it's not obsession and it's not possession. We can't. I can't own another human being. We. We can become. Love is when both of you become one person. Like, you're not nobody. We don't own each other. We are each other. Like, you know, song, by the way,

[Angie Martinez]

that's a whole song.

[TEMS]

You just like, we are. We're locked in, you know, and you know, I feel everyone has experience of that toxic love with someone that doesn't even know that they're toxic. They don't even know that. You know, they say, I love you, I love you, but they don't know that. They don't even love me. Because you can't love someone if you don't love yourself.

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[TEMS]

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[TEMS]

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[Angie Martinez]

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[Angie Martinez]

because we talk about love a lot on this show, on this podcast and I find that the most the people that I know, people always talk about marriage and they're like, well, who do you know who's in a happy marriage? Or who do you know? Do marriage really work? I don't know anybody's happy. This is a conversation that happens a lot with girlfriends or friends, right?

[Podcast Host/Producer]

And whenever I really try to think

[Angie Martinez]

about, okay, let me, let me think about who I know who got it right, who's happy, who's in love, who loves their Spouse. I do know a couple of people who are in those relationships, and they're usually. Usually there is spirituality inside of that relationship. Not usually.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

Every time.

[Angie Martinez]

Anybody I know who.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

From the outside.

[Angie Martinez]

Because you don't really know what goes on inside people's house. Right. But from the outside, anybody that I know that has gotten it right, there's some spirituality involved there. They pray together or there's something bigger than themselves.

[TEMS]

Yeah, there has to be.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[TEMS]

Because what's the reason? Why would you love me if you. If you don't have anyone you answer to, if you're not accountable to anyone or to. How could you. How could you choose to love me and keep loving me for the rest of our lives if there's no. There's no accountability? If you are the God of your life, then why are you. Why are you really, like, why would you love me forever? You could just discard me anytime you want, but marriage is. Is. I mean, obviously I have not been married. I'm not married, but would you.

[Angie Martinez]

Would you one day? Is that something you hope to do?

[TEMS]

I think, yeah. If. If I. If I feel like that is the next step of my. Like, I feel like marriage is something that makes you better as a human being. It should. It shouldn't be about whether you, oh, you're, like, so into this person or like, you like this person so much. It's about compatibility, and it's about whether this relationship makes you a better person. Like, if it's evolves you, like, you are now on the next stage. Because marriage is a whole nother level. Yeah, it's a whole other level. It's supposed to bring out the hard times.

[Angie Martinez]

So how much of that goes into, like, when. Like, even this ep, like, how. How much of those feelings and those ideas about love play a part into. You know what I'm saying? Or.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

Or is it actual things you're going through in real life or is it just.

[TEMS]

Oh, it's definitely things that. It's definitely inspired by the things I've gone through in real life.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[TEMS]

And what it is, it's just my journey. I was just like most of the songs on there, just like me documenting every stage. Like, oh, in my understanding of love, you know, talking to a guy and you're not sure where he stands. And I have a song called I'm Not Sure Where. It's like, if you want to see me, come and find me chasing you, bro. If you. If you want me, if you want me, you know where I'm at. You know you have my number, so let's not. It's either you are here or you're not here. There's nowhere. There's no middle. And also, I think at the end there's a song called Is There a Reason Where. Really that song is about me speaking to God and. And wondering why he chose me. I. I think that's. Those are the kind of things I contemplate on. Like, okay, surely I'm. I'm here for a reason. Like. Like is, what do you need of me? Like, I. You know, sometimes I get scared that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

[Angie Martinez]

Really?

[TEMS]

Yeah. Sometimes I feel like I need to do more. I need to show up more. I need to help more people. I need to physically, like, go and, I don't know, go through, get. Get something, do something, you know?

[Angie Martinez]

Is that because of what you've built and how blessed you are and how, like, is that?

[TEMS]

Yeah, I think it's. I think it's definitely because of just how much God has really blessed me. And, you know, I want to make sure that I am the person, you know, I am the daughter that he's called me to be. And, yeah, I think sometimes I. I worry, but I'm not meant to be worrying, you know, so that's just a human.

[Angie Martinez]

I love that you know that.

[TEMS]

I know that that's a human thing for sure. That's definitely not something I'm meant to be doing. But all in all, I feel like everything is. Is working how it's supposed to be.

[Angie Martinez]

But maybe you're not meant to worry. But I do think you and all of us probably are meant to ask the questions.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

You know what I mean? I'm meant to, like, stop. Stop what we're doing and just look around and ask, like, am I in my purpose? Am I. Am I walk? You know, am I. Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Am I missing something?

[TEMS]

Like.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah, I don't know that that's worry so much, but I get. I get you asking those questions.

[TEMS]

Yeah. Yeah. I try. I try not to worry, though, because I feel like if you are the person, like, if you are being transformed into, like, a higher you, a better you, you would automatically be doing the things that you're meant to be doing. It's not something that you would even need to think, like, okay, let you know, like, you need to force it, is what I mean. The ideas will just.

[Angie Martinez]

They come.

[TEMS]

They'll just come to you.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah. How. How often do you pray? A lot?

[TEMS]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I think sometimes I pray twice in a day and I feel like that's not enough. I think what's more important is spending time in like the. I think so because that's what fuels my prayers. Sometimes if I haven't read or filled myself up with like, word, I don't know how to pray. I mean, I know how to pray, but I don't know. I. I have nothing to like, unless it's like, you know, I'm on the road. There's so many things going on. I would always say like a little prayer, but I think to feel, be, you know, constantly filling yourself up with like, knowledge of, of the word truth. I think that helps me understand where I'm at, like, heart wise, like where my heart posture is. And you know, have you.

[Angie Martinez]

I'm wondering if you've ever had a. Have you ever had a word given to you or something come to you and completely stop you in your tracks and put you on a different course? Like,

[TEMS]

I mean, the, the best I can say is when I quit my job, like, that was like a word that came to me and I was like, like, clear. It was really clear. It was very urgent. You know, I had already settled in the job and my, my auntie, she was my boss at the time.

[Angie Martinez]

How'd she take this?

[TEMS]

She was, she's like, she's my. She's not like my auntie, like my mom's sister. She was more like a friend of the family. Like, she's more like my mom's sister's husband's cousin. Yeah, got it. You know, so it wasn't like, you know, but still close. I remember I actually begged her for that job. You know, I actually was desperate. I looked everywhere for a job.

[Angie Martinez]

You were on the phones, right?

[TEMS]

Yeah, I was in marketing.

[Angie Martinez]

Marketing, right?

[TEMS]

Yeah, yeah, digital marketing. Selling furniture.

[Angie Martinez]

How do you sell furniture on the phone? How does that even work?

[TEMS]

Oh, I wasn't on the phone always. I was actually going to places and pitching them, like, oh, we can furnish your office for you. Yeah, we, you know, this is our track record. This is what we've been doing. I go to hotels. I go to different, like, companies.

[Angie Martinez]

How old are you at this time?

[TEMS]

I was like 21 or 22. Okay. I think.

[Angie Martinez]

Wow. Yeah, it's not that long ago.

[TEMS]

Not that long.

[Angie Martinez]

That's crazy.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

So you're going in, you're doing the furniture thing. You beg for the job. She gives you the job.

[TEMS]

She gives me. She gives me a chance. I'm terrible at the job. I did my best but like, I don't think I was very personable. Knowing what I know now and seeing how I used to be, I definitely know that I was not a salesperson.

[Angie Martinez]

You don't give me salesperson.

[TEMS]

I don't think so. I didn't do. And when I received that word, it was like just after the New Year's.

[Angie Martinez]

And I How does it come though?

[TEMS]

Tell me honestly. Like the first word, the first verse, I just the same verse. Sorry. The same word which was take a leap of faith just kept on coming to me. Like my mom was telling My mom was like, oh, this is what I received for you this year. Like I need. I think you should really stand in your faith and actually do what God is telling you to do. And I was like, well, I don't know what he's telling me. I don't know. What do you mean? And then the, the what I was reading was about faith and how like you have to have faith first. You can't cease.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available at public.comdisclosures Ever wonder

[Martha Stewart]

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[Sponsor Announcer]

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[TEMS]

You have to have faith before you see anything. That's how it works. You first have faith, right?

[Angie Martinez]

Because if you see it, you don't need faith. It's there.

[TEMS]

Yeah. If you see it, you won't understand it actually. So what faith does is you have faith and then you get understanding. So I. Apart from that, the devotional that I had, I can't remember the day before work started again was take a leap of faith again. So in my.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

Are you seeing it or people are

[Angie Martinez]

saying it to you? You're reading it?

[TEMS]

I was reading, I mean, my Bible. I was reading about faith at the time. My mom was speaking to me about faith. I think there was a sermon I watched that was about faith. The algorithm wasn't there at the time. So it wasn't any algorithm.

[Angie Martinez]

It was go, God's algorithm.

[TEMS]

It was, you know, and then I just started like there was just like a voice in my head that was like, you need to leave this job right now. Like right now. You need to do it today. You need to do it by the end of today, you need to have done it.

[Angie Martinez]

I'm always fascinated when people tell me

[TEMS]

these type of stories. No, no, it was like, okay, it felt like as if something was going to happen. Like if I didn't do it.

[Angie Martinez]

Had you ever experienced that before or was that the first time?

[TEMS]

No, that was the first time.

[Angie Martinez]

Was it a little scary?

[TEMS]

It was. But the thing is, I had before I experienced that I had prayed that God would reveal what he wanted me to do. And so when I received that, I felt like I needed to be obedient and I needed to leave that job, like, asap. So my, my auntie, I went to her house. Oof. How do you say this? Because she was still sending me, like, missions. She was like, oh, I need you to do this, I need you to do that. She was already, you know, the year.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah. Because she didn't know that this, you

[TEMS]

know, usually I'm like, okay, yes, yes, yes, I will. Yes, I will. But this time I said, oh, I would like to speak to you. And she was like, you know what? If you're not careful, you're going to be fired. And I said, actually, I, I would like to speak to you about this. So I went to her house and she was like, you know, giving me a talk, like, what are you doing? You know, I, I told you're not handling this thing well. I was trying to believe in, I was trying to help you out and look at what you're doing. Nonsense. And you're not handling this well. So I was like, my leg was shaking. I said. She was like, do you want to get fired? And I was like, actually, yes, I need to leave this job. She was like, what? You need to what? I need to leave this job. She was like, she looked like she wanted to beat me. She was like, you want to what? You want, you want to quit? She was like, do you, who, who do you think is going to hire you after this? Like, you don't have any credentials. Like, who do you think is going to want you? I said, actually, I'm going to do music. I'm going.

[Angie Martinez]

Were you crying?

[Podcast Host/Producer]

I was crying.

[Angie Martinez]

Oh my God.

[TEMS]

I was crying and I was shaking and I was like, I'm going to do music. And I know that that sounds crazy. I know it sounds crazy, but this is what I truly believe that God has told me to do. And I'm so sorry. I have to do it. I know you may be dis. Appointed.

[Angie Martinez]

Oh my God.

[TEMS]

Oh, that, that day, my whole body, by the time I left there, I was living there, shaking left. That's the hardest thing I ever had to do. Oh, that was so hard. I went to my car and I was just crying. I was like, well, I guess this is it.

[Angie Martinez]

You.

[TEMS]

I guess we're going to see what's going to happen from now.

[Angie Martinez]

Why were you crying, though? Because you scared?

[TEMS]

I was scared. Yeah, I was scared. I, I, I just, I'm, I Wasn't very confrontational.

[Angie Martinez]

Oh, so you felt bad probably too, letting her down in some way?

[TEMS]

I just was. I was very people pleasing. I didn't want to disappoint anybody. And that was one of the first times I felt like I was disappointing everyone. I wasn't going to have a job. I wasn't going to have money to take care of my mom. I wasn't going to have anything. You know, I was letting down everyone in my life, you know, their perception of me, of what they thought was the best life for me, you know, And I didn't even have the answers. I didn't even know what to do.

[Angie Martinez]

Are you, Are you doing this because you. You had such a strong desire to do music or is it strictly you're doing this because of the word that you received?

[TEMS]

It was because of the word.

[Angie Martinez]

Wow.

[TEMS]

Because I was okay. Not releasing me. Like, I was okay. No, I was enjoying my own music. My cousins would be like, like, you'll send me that voice notes that you. Because I'll send my cousins, like, voice notes. Like just one little song. Like a song. I should be like, why, why aren't you posting this online? I'm like, oh, no, I don't want people to. I don't, you know, my cousin be like, do you have any new voice notes for me? She'll be the only one enjoying.

[Angie Martinez]

That should be your next EP is

[TEMS]

all the voice notes. Yeah. And I was content with that. Like, like, you know, my dream was like, you know what, Maybe I'll just make this a Friday night thing. I'll find a bar and I'll have one of those Friday shows that people come and listen to live music. That was. That was my idea of, of making money. You see how funny it sounds now? Like, are you insane?

[Angie Martinez]

No, I mean, I get it. Yeah, I get it.

[TEMS]

Like, I was.

[Angie Martinez]

But do you ever. Are you an ever, ever in awe of how that moment, like, just. Because I'm sure people get words sometimes and out of fear or out of whatever, just don't, you know, pull the trigger or whatever. That's probably a bad term, but they don't push the button or they don't. They're not diligent about listening to that voice. Are you ever in awe of that moment, even yourself that you were able to do that?

[TEMS]

Honestly, sometimes I just thank God. I couldn't ignore it. For me, it was especially. What I was learning about was actually Abraham, right. And basically he made a covenant with God. And for me at the time, it was like If I say I really believe, like, I'm not just performing. I'm not just, I'm just. I'm not just making sure that I don't, you know, I don't go to hell or something.

[Angie Martinez]

Right. You don't get in trouble.

[TEMS]

If I really, like I'm saying I really want to know you, I really want to walk on this journey with you, then I have to have faith. And I have to say God's part is if you believe, then I will do so. I. For me to show that I believe, he instructs. And the proof of your belief is your obedience. So for me, I was like, I have to be a woman of my word. I can't go back now, you know, And I was, as I was quitting my job, I was like, well, God, you see, I'm shaking all over. I don't know what's going to happen. But I did what you said. I did what you said. If I perish, I perish. If I find myself under the bridge, that's going to be the best, best under the bridge life I would ever have. Because you said he's, you know, whatever life he has in store for you is going to be better than your imagination.

[Angie Martinez]

And. And has it been.

[TEMS]

It's been beyond my imagination.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[TEMS]

You know, when you read certain things, it's like, could this possibly be true? Well, what it is, is I allowed myself to actually truly believe, like, just trust, because I had never seen any other thing. All my life I'd been relying on my own knowledge. So maybe I should just try. Try this for a second. And you know, it wasn't easy at first, but I was like, you know what? I'll just take it step by step, day by day. You know, I'm not going to chase anything. I'm going to wait. In my mind. I was like you said, I don't need to do the work. Like, I don't need to do too much. I just need to believe. Right. Okay, here I am. I'm just gonna believe, you know, and I'll. I'll do whatever I receive.

[Angie Martinez]

How much do you attribute the career that you've had to that moment?

[TEMS]

Oh, I think every. Every passing day that, like, I wouldn't be terms if I didn't. If I chose not to answer that voice, I would still be. I might even be unemployed because things are hard now.

[Angie Martinez]

Yes. I clearly couldn't sell no furniture.

[TEMS]

I couldn't. I would definitely have been fired. Yeah, I don't. I might be like a sales. I Might be like a cashier or like a registered person. I don't know. There's nothing wrong with that, by the way. If. If that's, you know.

[Angie Martinez]

But that wouldn't have been. That wasn't.

[TEMS]

That was not the highest I could have gone. And I don't think I would have reached. I mean, maybe I would. I don't know. You never know. We'll never know.

[Angie Martinez]

We're never gonna know. We're never gonna know. How good are you now? So now, okay, so that happens, and then time passes clearly before you. This thing really, I mean, opens up. Or was it how. How long from that moment?

[TEMS]

So were you like, 20, 2018? January, I quit my job. January, like second or fourth. Can't remember that first week I quit my job. Then after that, from January, March. Sorry, January, February, March, April. I was kind of living off people handouts. My aunt, I asked, oh, do you have any, you know, just doing my best to, you know, live. My mom had to move out of state because I'm. Quit my job. But I spoke to her.

[Angie Martinez]

Was she upset with you?

[TEMS]

No, she was actually. She was like, this is something that I know that you have to do, so don't worry about me. I want you to actually, like, go chase your dreams and go chase this thing that you really feel strongly about. Wow. So she was very supportive. It was like the rest of my family that was like, how can she?

[Angie Martinez]

She's out of her mind.

[TEMS]

She's crazy. By May, my cousin convinced me to finally put out a video on. On Instagram of me singing with my face. Just doing that. That was nerve wracking for me because I used to put videos out, but without my face. And this meant, like, I was gonna be seen. So the first time I did that, that's when I started getting people DMing me. Oh, hey, do you want to work? Do you want to come to this studio? I'll go to the studio. I'll meet different people. And then at some point, I decided, you know what, now I understand a bit more about this music thing. Let me try and release a song. And that song was called Mr. Rebel. And that song came out August of the same year, 2018.

[Angie Martinez]

Wow.

[TEMS]

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, he works fast when he works, right? There's no he. Literally, it's actually us that makes it

[Angie Martinez]

slow because we don't listen. Is that what you think?

[TEMS]

Yeah. I think you have to be the kind of person that can handle the thing that he wants to give you. And if you're someone that isn't True to your word, how can he trust you with the whole load of things when you can't even trust yourself with a little.

[Angie Martinez]

So how do you sort that out through your head, though, sometimes? Do you. And how do I ask this? Like, you know, sometimes. How do you know? Because sometimes we have a lot of voices in our head. A lot of things, the world, our own thoughts, things that we ingest from whatever situations we're in. How do you know which is the right voice? Does that make sense? You know, because sometimes man, our own wants, even could sometimes get in the way where you're like, right, God, that's what I want. That's what I should be doing. You know, sometimes there's just so many voices. So how do you quiet the noises to hear that you're the noise, the one noise you're supposed to hear?

[TEMS]

Yeah, I think for me personally what I've discovered is that a lot of the voices that people hear are not theirs. Their opinions that they've read or they've heard from other people. Like, especially now that we're in the social media, you know, AI and social and technology. And when you're online a lot, you don't realize that you're reading a lot of the comments in your mind. You're reading a lot of the opinions of other people in your mind. Even though it was someone else that typed it, you are reading it in your mind. If someone was spewing like negative, like comments, you're still the one reading it. So your body is not going to think that it was somebody else. It's you that you're still feeding yourself that. So when you go to sleep, all the things that you've read that you fed yourself, that's what's in your, that's what's in your mind. Those are the things that your mind uses as references for what to think about things that happen to you.

[Angie Martinez]

That's so good.

[TEMS]

That's where the narrative of how you see life is drawn is from the things you read, is from the things you allow yourself to watch, the things you allow yourself to hear from your eyes, your ears, what you feed yourself, what you feed yourself. And so if, if you're reading so many people's opinions and you're always online and you're always watching comments, watching people talk, right? You won't be able to hear the voice of God or even your own voice because your voice should align with the voice of God, right? Like, it should only be good. It should only be good things, right? Because that's God only wants you to win. There's no. There's no. There's none. There's no hate, actually.

[Angie Martinez]

Right?

[TEMS]

So if you're thinking hateful things or like, if you're not believing in yourself and you think, yeah, I will never make it, or I'm not good enough, that can't be you. That can't be your voice.

[Angie Martinez]

You ingested that from somewhere.

[TEMS]

From somewhere. It's something you believe. Like, it's something you believe and you've adopted it as yours, but you can also let it go. But you need to. It's about awareness, you know? So I feel for me, once I realize that, I stop reading opinions sometimes. Like, if I'm scrolling and I see, like, someone starts to speak and I already know they're about to start saying, so I just scroll.

[Angie Martinez]

You want to get away from it fast, right?

[TEMS]

I don't want to hear. I can't hear too many crazy things. You know, I try not to be online too much because anything can pop out at you and you can't stop it. And you're reading all these things in your mind. So if. If someone is angry at someone, someone else, you're reading the anger into yourself.

[Angie Martinez]

Yes. That's so good.

[TEMS]

You're reading the anger, you're reading the hate, you're reading the negativ. And then how do you read all of that? And then go and pray or then go and tell yourself, yes, I'm a winner today. But you've been reading hate all day, right? And in your mind, it's fun. It's banter. Yeah, but the banter is all your body knows. It's all your mind knows.

[Angie Martinez]

It's so good times. I think of you in 2018, sitting in that, hearing that message that it was time for you to do that. Had you spent the past month reading negative shit or hanging out with negative people all month, I don't know that you would have had that type of clarity to hear that type of word.

[TEMS]

Yeah, I was very isolated. I wasn't around a lot of my friends, the friends I had at the time. I started, like, distancing myself because I wanted to find out more, you know? And I feel like that period, God really, like, was calling on me to just, like, separate myself and understand, like, who I'm actually dealing with. Because we are living in life. This is some kind of reality. So what is this reality? And that for me, that was like, I need to know what's going on. And I think, yeah, if this was then it would have been Hard.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah. I wonder. Because then. I wonder, like, when you. Now you become famous.

[TEMS]

Yes. That I had to navigate.

[Angie Martinez]

I was gonna say, for somebody who likes. Who's quiet and in tune to this voice and tries to block out all other voices, you put. You jumped in the pool.

[TEMS]

Oh.

[Angie Martinez]

Oh, how does the. How to. How do you navigate through that?

[TEMS]

Oh, it was tough. It was so tough. Even me having a conversation like this

[Angie Martinez]

is tough for you.

[TEMS]

No, it's not tough anymore. Know, I've shed a lot of skin, you know, coming. Getting to this point. At the time, I was very hostile because I thought, why is everybody now suddenly, like, liking me? And why are people wanting to talk to me? You didn't want to talk to me before. Why do you want to talk to me now? You know, and at some point, I thought at some point the world would just move on. So I was kind of waiting for that to happen. I was like, okay, this is how it usually goes. They first like you, then they hate you. So let me wait till they hate me so I can continue my secret life. I was like, let me wait for this to pass. And then months went by, and it just kept on getting worse. I'm like, wait, what's going on? You know, like, God, please. I don't want to be in this spotlight. I'll go to the airport, and people, like, recognize me, and they'll be. Your terms. I'll be like, no, I'm not like, oh, are you Tims? You look like her. I'll be like, no. Like, people say that. I don't know.

[Angie Martinez]

See, somebody could misinterpret to interpret that and think you're not grateful for it, but I understand. Yeah, you're afraid of it.

[TEMS]

I'm so. I was so afraid.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[TEMS]

I was just like, why? Every. You know, someone would meet me, and they'll be like. They'll be like, shaking, and I'm like, it's just me, though. Why are you shaking? Like, it's just me. I'm just. I'm just Timmy. I'm just. Just the normal person. Hey, stop that. You know, stop being weird. You know, people on my team, new people that will come on my team, you know, they'll. They'll be asking me questions. So are you excited? Do you wanna do. Are you happy to be here? I'll be like, why are you asking me that? Like, I'd come off very, like, standoffish because I'm like, but why are you here, though? Yeah, like, why is everybody suddenly here? I just want to be alone.

[Angie Martinez]

I just want to make music and

[TEMS]

sing make music and I I just, I didn't handle it.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc, SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures this

[Martha Stewart]

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[Angie Martinez]

ever any regrets about that?

[TEMS]

You know what it is? I feel like I had been in my mind rejected so much that when I found people that finally accepted me because I'm used, I was so used to rejecting myself, I couldn't accept their love. I couldn't accept that they their acceptance. I rejected myself before anybody. Even so I was waiting for the rejection. I was expecting it. That was my normal daily life. Like that was my programming, you know, and I had to unlearn that. Oh, actually I've never been rejected. I've always been accepted. Where did this come from? Or cause one person or a few people said something when you were a child? I don't know, you know, fear, Fear. But it's from. That is when you experience something that feels like rejection in like your young days. That's where you, you get this conclusion that you are not

[Angie Martinez]

worthy or worthy or.

[TEMS]

You know, they say that fear stops

[Angie Martinez]

a lot of people from living their full, you know, potential in life. That alone.

[TEMS]

But that's why I always encourage people to become aware that get, get curious about this fear that you have. Like go deep.

[Angie Martinez]

How have you, how have you learned so much? Have you done like therapy? Have you done like. Is it just prayer? Is it. How have you learned so much about understanding how you work?

[TEMS]

It's a combination of things. I think honestly a lot of the things I've learned have been revealed to me by God. I'm gonna first say that secondly, I didn't like the way I was like, you know, I just felt like something was always off. I was always making people angry, you know, and I didn't understand why I was the way I was. Sometimes I want to talk to someone and nothing comes out of my mouth. You know, I'll just be in the corner. You know, when I was in school, I would like cover my head and eat with, you know, I would just Be. And I'm.

[Angie Martinez]

Oh. And you were probably misunderstood so much,

[TEMS]

you know, And I was just like, I want to. I don't want to be this way. So why am I this way? Why can't I? In my mind, I'm like, timmy, move, and I won't move. You know, oh, Timmy, do something. And I won't say something. Say something. Nothing, you know? And I. And that's when I realized, like, okay, I'm actually so flawed and I need help. Like, and I can't help myself, clearly, because I read all the books. I'll say, okay, they'll do. They'll say, oh, write this to yourself 10 times in the morning. Affirmations, you know, And I would. And it would work for, like, the first two days, but then your natural programming, your human programming kicks in. So how can you. How can I be changed? That was my goal, and I think that's what actually led me to God, because I realized, like, I can't do it myself. I need. So I need someone greater than me. And that was, like, my only solution. Like, help me, help me, help me. Because I don't know what's happening.

[Angie Martinez]

So what have you learned about yourself? Because you seem. I don't know, you still are, like, reserved and careful, but you seem more, like, confident in your skin and where you are. What have you learned about yourself that has shifted that.

[TEMS]

I think what's happening now is, like, I'm walking more in my identity. Like, I think what has changed is what I believed, who I believed I was. You know, before, I just believed I was a nobody, you know? So even when I became someone in my mind, I was a nobody. So I shouldn't be somebody. Right?

[Angie Martinez]

You didn't deserve this.

[TEMS]

I didn't deserve anything. But now it's not even about whether I deserve it or not. It's what has been allocated to me. Oof. You know, it's. It is. It is what has been given to me, whether I like it or not. And. And what I'm learning is that I'm here for not myself, but to be a light, to be an example, to be someone that people can say, well, if she did it, I can too. You know, there's so many labels I can say that I had. You know, I wasn't. I wasn't. You know, autism is going around these days, and everybody is saying they're autistic, but I've decided actually not to say that and just be Timmy. Like, just be a child of God. That is deciding to be a light in the world. You know, no matter how much people throw at me, I have, I'm not going off my own strength. I think that's what it is. So I don't feel like I can be taken down not because of my strength, but because of the strength I know that I have behind me. You know, I have, like. It's not. It's not me that will fight for myself. It's. I don't need to fight, actually. You know, you can just be. I can just be. And that's what you're supposed to be.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[TEMS]

You know, everything in the world works that way. It's. It's, you know, it's only human beings that are like, we're not being, you

[Angie Martinez]

know, trying to control everything.

[TEMS]

Yeah. Yeah. It's so hurt. Like, the world is so hurt. And that's why, like, it's like, you know, like when you come out, you. You're like, let go. When you. You have your fist like this your whole life, it's like, what's the concept of actually releasing your fist? You can't think of it. It's like a foreign concept. So letting go is very hard. Right. So I understand, because that was really hard for me.

[Angie Martinez]

So you just let go?

[TEMS]

I just let go. I'm still letting go. It's like a step by step process. I'm. I'm not all the way there. I'm not. This is not my final form at all, really.

[Angie Martinez]

Can you imagine with your final form?

[TEMS]

I can't. I can't. You know, I can't even imagine what it is.

[Angie Martinez]

You have to just be in it and wait, right?

[TEMS]

Yeah, I'm still being worked on. Yeah, I'm definitely not perfect.

[Angie Martinez]

But you have had. Of course, the evolution continues. Right? But like, you have had big victory moments. Even in our intro, some of the accolades. I mean, even just this Grammy, right? When you're up there and you're accepting

[TEMS]

a Grammy,

[Angie Martinez]

what does that feel like to you? Can you even imagine that moment? How much up to that point does it feel? You know what I mean? How much does that do those type of moments mean to you?

[TEMS]

It just, I think for me, it solidifies, like, it just further confirms everything that I've been experiencing. It's like I'm on some great big adventure. And especially in those moments, I really feel like, yeah, I couldn't have thought about this if, even if I tried. This was not me. This was not my vision me that I wanted to sing at the bar.

[Angie Martinez]

That was the big goal.

[TEMS]

If somebody told me I'm gonna give you anything you want right now. I would have told you, Yeah, I wanna do the Friday Night Live. That was gonna be my dream.

[Angie Martinez]

That was your vision for yourself?

[TEMS]

Yes.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[TEMS]

So even when I was on that stage, I'm like, this was not. I know that. That was not me because I wrote what my dreams were, and it was nothing like this at all.

[Angie Martinez]

They say that, man. They say.

[TEMS]

So I think that that's. That's what comes to me. Like, I know that this is definitely God. Like, I couldn't have thoughts of this if I tried.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah. Does it make you happier that you're in this space and feel disconnected, Effy?

[TEMS]

It does. It does make me. It gives me hope. I think that's what the difference between me now and me 10 years ago. There was no hope in my mind. I didn't have hope.

[Angie Martinez]

Really.

[TEMS]

I didn't. I didn't. I thought, like, I wasn't. I wasn't expecting much from life. I was not. I wasn't someone that people, like, cared that much about, you know? I was used to people not caring. I was okay with it, though. I wasn't feeling, like, sad or anything. I was just like, oh, nobody cares. Cool. That's great. I could do whatever I want in my. In my little corner, you know? But I think now I have so much hope. Not for me, but for the world, for people, for life. There's so much to look forward to. Even in the chaos, even in the. In the craziness that's going on, there's still hope, you know, that's.

[Angie Martinez]

It's good to hear. Because it is dark out here.

[TEMS]

It's very dark.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah. Sometimes I try. I put myself on a limit of how much news. Like, I watch only this amount of news. Then I had to stop.

[TEMS]

You have to.

[Angie Martinez]

Because I will be in just a dark place every day that doesn't serve me. That doesn't serve anybody in my life or. Or doesn't help me move around the world. I like to be informed.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

But I have to be, like, almost on a diet because there's so much darkness in the world.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

How do you navigate through that? How do you. I guess prayer, right?

[TEMS]

Yeah. No, I do the same thing.

[Angie Martinez]

But hope, I guess.

[TEMS]

No, like, for me as well. I actually don't watch too much news either. I'm not a news person because news is meant to be negative. Like, hardly do they report on anything positive. Like, in today, in the positive news,

[Angie Martinez]

the good news is.

[TEMS]

The good news is that this little boy was Saved, you know, there's nothing like that. Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

So somebody should really do it.

[TEMS]

I. They really need to have a positive news channel.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah, I would watch that.

[TEMS]

I would watch that too. That would be great. But yeah, I think. I thought. I don't. After I use my phone, I. I keep. I throw it in many different places. I try and live life in reality. So I try not to be online too much, especially if I'm not. Not actively doing anything. Like, I'm not posting anything. I'm not. Like, there's no reason I'm really online. After a few scrolls, I become so aware of myself. Like, what are you doing? You're scrolling. Why so easy though? It's so easy to get sucked into you. You get. It's like a vac. It's like literally.

[Angie Martinez]

No, it's meant to do that.

[TEMS]

Yes. It's this. And that's why it's scary. Yeah, that's why it's so scary. And that's why you can't let them get you. Like, for me, sometimes, like, it's like, because it's. The damage of what it does to you is so ingrained in me. When I find myself scrolling, I'm like, yeah, they're getting to you. They're getting to you. You need. I switch off my. I don't even go out of the app. I switch off my phone and I throw it across. I make sure I throw it behind a couch. I throw it it. I just look for the furthest place and I throw it. My phone is all cracked up because I keep throwing.

[Angie Martinez]

Oh, it's a real thing.

[TEMS]

No, it's real. I really thought. I'm like, I believe you. Once I. If I'm scrolling and I catch myself doing that, I switch it off and I throw it away.

[Angie Martinez]

Because you feel it controlling you, right?

[TEMS]

Yeah, I can feel it. The things. And I have a phone that has no social media. It's just for communication.

[Angie Martinez]

Phone that's smart.

[TEMS]

So even if I've thrown that phone away, people can still reach me on

[Angie Martinez]

the non social media phone.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

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[Angie Martinez]

And then a few months later, it's

[Podcast Host/Producer]

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[TEMS]

Customers.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost unlimited plan.

[Angie Martinez]

All right, so we have a.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

A segment.

[TEMS]

It's.

[Angie Martinez]

It's a IRL voice notes.

[TEMS]

Okay.

[Angie Martinez]

Where somebody leaves a note. Usually it's a fan or somebody who listens to the pod or.

[TEMS]

Okay.

[Angie Martinez]

Because you're going to be here. So this is from Cynthia. Cynthia. Let's see it.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

Hi, Tims.

[TEMS]

What's going on?

[Podcast Host/Producer]

My Nigerian queen?

[TEMS]

My name is Cynthia Okeke. I'm a journalist with Amplify Africa. I want to speak to you about your heart. I watched an interview with Don Juan where he talked about a younger you. He talked about a younger Tims that

[Podcast Host/Producer]

will come to the studio.

[TEMS]

And even at the time when you

[Podcast Host/Producer]

didn't really have much, you still chose

[TEMS]

to buy little things for the people

[Podcast Host/Producer]

in the studio and you still chose to give.

[TEMS]

So you have a giver's heart. I want to talk to you about that. Where did those characteristics. Is it a faith based thing? Is it your love language? Please share.

[Angie Martinez]

What a sweet question.

[TEMS]

Oh, what a sweet question. That is really sweet. I've never thought about that before. I really remember.

[Angie Martinez]

You don't remember that?

[TEMS]

I mean, I remember now, but it's not something that I would have thought of at all.

[Angie Martinez]

Well, are you a giver by nature?

[TEMS]

I am a giver. I'm actually a chronic giver. I actually have to stop myself from giving. I'm the kind of person that, like,

[Angie Martinez]

you give it all away.

[TEMS]

I'll give it all away. Yeah, I would. You know, if we. When I'm out with my friends, I would literally be fighting with them to pay, you know, and I. And I shouldn't be doing that because they are their own people. And I had to think, you know what? This is not helping anyone. Stop. Stop trying to be the one to give, to pay. And no.

[Angie Martinez]

So how's that going for you?

[TEMS]

It's. It's actually, you know what? It's. It's making my relationships a little bit better.

[Angie Martinez]

Really.

[TEMS]

It is. Because you know what happens when you are too much of a giver? It becomes like your identity subconsciously. So when you don't give, you feel weird, you know, you don't know how to receive anymore. When you give Too much. And. And it makes you a bit self centered. Well, it makes me a bit self centered because when I don't give and I feel weird, then I feel like whatever happens in the room was because of me or, you know, because I didn't do something, you know, and sometimes when I over give, then the other person feels weird because they want to give, you know, and imagine you wanting to give someone that is never accepting what you want to give. It puts a strain. It makes, it puts a distance between you and that person because you're saying, I want to give you, but don't give me. Like this is not an exchange. This is. I'm imposing my own gifts on you. Yeah, just take, don't. I don't want. You know, if it's like it needs to. Love is. Love is a mutual thing. It's like we are one, you know, we can't be one if it's just coming from one side.

[Angie Martinez]

So that's so interesting. I've never heard it put that way, but it does make sense. And also if you're the only giver, then how can you find real genuine relationships? Because that attracts people who take, who are takers.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

And you don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of takers your whole life.

[TEMS]

That would. That's a nightmare actually.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[TEMS]

That's draining, Exhausting.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[TEMS]

You know, and I think I've learned. Learned the hard way because I definitely had a lot of takers in my life.

[Angie Martinez]

You did? Yes.

[TEMS]

But.

[Angie Martinez]

You just went somewhere.

[TEMS]

But yeah, I think so. I've learned to be a cheerful giver but also know when to step back. Like I, I don't need to be the one that people say thank you to. I can be the one saying thank you.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah. Oh yeah. Because you know, sometimes people don't realize it's almost selfish like you said, because you want to like.

[TEMS]

Yeah, I took care of everyone. I took. You know, I did that. Well, we didn't ask you to exactly.

[Angie Martinez]

We just want to be on the same. That's funny because I have that. I have friends that are, that are do better than me in life and friends who I always like to pay. And sometimes that I could see that becoming a thing when you're all out and you're all equal and you're all friends. But then the one person wants to

[TEMS]

always be the show out.

[Angie Martinez]

You know, you're like. It does put a separation.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

That's interesting.

[TEMS]

It does. It's very subtle.

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[TEMS]

But it's so that's a hard thing, you know, and that's. You have to allow your heart to be molded. And giving is one of those things that you have to like have some discipline in as a giver.

[Angie Martinez]

That's a giver.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

Because you'll give it all away.

[TEMS]

I would, I would like when anybody around me is distressed, I'm like, okay, what are we doing? What do we need to do? Cancel everything right now. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay here. We're going to what? One million. Let's get it. Let's get one.

[Angie Martinez]

Who stops you? Do you have somebody in your team or your family?

[TEMS]

Yes. I know people stop you. My managers, my team, they're like, nope, we're not doing it. And I'm like, no, we are. They're like, nope, get in the car. We're not doing.

[Angie Martinez]

Get in the car.

[TEMS]

And I'm like, okay. And then I'm like, fair enough. It would have been nice to give that person. But you know, especially my, one of both my managers, they're very like strong headed. I'm strong headed. But they're like, they can be also strong headed. So we will all do. Who is, who is gonna, who's gonna back down out. And it's usually me because I'm the one spending all the money.

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[Angie Martinez]

Did we? But the answer was so much better.

[TEMS]

We kind of answered it kinda because

[Angie Martinez]

it comes from that was her question. Where does that giving spirit come from? What is that rooted in? People pleasing self worth? Because it doesn't sound like that's a godly thing.

[TEMS]

No, I think. I mean I think who I am is definitely God. Who I truly am is God. But I think it's something that is ingrained in me. I just know that when I was younger I used to see like in Nigeria there's just a lot of suffering and I used to be really pained that I couldn't do anything and I didn't like people crying around me. I didn't like people being hurt. I didn't like people, like, looking sad, you know, so I would just be sad just because someone else is sad. And I don't even know them. They don't even know me. They don't even know that I'm sad.

[Angie Martinez]

Oh, you're an empath.

[TEMS]

I'm just. I'm crying and they don't even know. And I. Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

Did you see that, A lot of that as a kid?

[TEMS]

Yeah, I did. I did. You know, my mom is very much. She's very humanitarian. Like, she used to adopt, like, children for, like, some months, for some weeks. She just bring, like, a kid home and will take care of the kid. Some of them have, like, my mom's a doctor, so some of them had, like, medical conditions. They're trying to heal from, you know, and just seeing things like that and on the road, people that don't have just. It's just like, why is this happening? So I think for me, I just always wanted to ease everybody's pain. Like, why are you crying? Don't cry anymore. Look, everything is still great. Look, I don't have much, but here, this should make you just come, you know, be okay. Please don't be sad anymore. Please. I don't want to cry.

[Angie Martinez]

You can't take it.

[TEMS]

I can't take it anymore.

[Angie Martinez]

That's very sweet. So maybe you are going to heal the world. That's probably why you pray, to make sure you're doing. You're always asking yourself, are you doing enough?

[TEMS]

Enough? Yeah. I always feel like I can do more, but maybe it is. I'm not ready. Like. Like who I am right now is still being worked on to get to that level, because you have to be able to handle whatever it is.

[Angie Martinez]

And you also may be doing things that you're not even aware of what you're doing.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

Because even today's conversation, I need my bowl. Even today's conversation, the way that affects someone else, you don't even know how helpful that could be in somebody's life. You know what I mean?

[TEMS]

Yeah. It's so true.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

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[Angie Martinez]

Take out a couple questions. Let's see what's going on in Thames real life.

[TEMS]

Okay. Oh. If you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be? That is so deep.

[Angie Martinez]

Still, I can tell you what I think your three are.

[TEMS]

Yes, please. Peace.

[Angie Martinez]

Godly.

[TEMS]

Yes.

[Angie Martinez]

Something to do with your relationship with God. Empathetic.

[TEMS]

Right.

[Angie Martinez]

And hopeful.

[TEMS]

Yes. Huh.

[Angie Martinez]

You feel seen?

[TEMS]

I. I feel. I feel seen. I don't know if I. I don't

[Angie Martinez]

want to answer your question for you. If you have other three words, you could do it or you could pick another bowl. A question from the ball.

[TEMS]

I've said.

[Angie Martinez]

All right, all right. Get another one. Get another one. And then I have some IRLs here, too.

[TEMS]

She's a writer. I thought she was gonna go,

[Angie Martinez]

oh, yeah, you are a writer.

[TEMS]

You know, I writer. But, you know, that one. That one is. Three words is a quite small.

[Angie Martinez]

You need a few.

[TEMS]

I need a few bars. This one says, I'm at my best when I'm at my best. When I let go and let God

[Angie Martinez]

body.

[TEMS]

Dad,

[Angie Martinez]

you did good. Okay. If you could master a skill instantly, what would it be?

[TEMS]

Who? The gift of master is skill. It could. Is it like a.

[Angie Martinez]

Whatever. You could want to ride a motorcycle. I don't know, or.

[TEMS]

Oh, that would be so cool.

[Angie Martinez]

Really?

[TEMS]

What? To write. To be like a master. I've always wanted to be one of those bike riders. You see what I mean? My dreams were crazy. My dreams were so far off.

[Angie Martinez]

God makes better dreams for you than you make for yourself.

[TEMS]

He does.

[Angie Martinez]

Performing on Fridays on your motorcycle.

[TEMS]

Literally. I would. I actually would. I always wanted. I used to admire, like, bike. Bike riders.

[Angie Martinez]

Like what? Like wheelie. Like. Like what?

[TEMS]

Like just the really cool bikes that. Like, just in movies, you know, take the helmet off and, oh, it's a girl. Yeah. You know, and I'm That. Yeah, I'm tough.

[Angie Martinez]

Badass on the bike.

[TEMS]

I think the skill, the ability probably to. To persuade.

[Angie Martinez]

You want to rule the world.

[TEMS]

I think that that would be the best gift because you could persuade anyone to do anything. But I wouldn't. I want to rule the world. Obviously.

[Angie Martinez]

What would be the first matter of business as a professional persuader?

[TEMS]

I'll call a. A meeting of all the world leaders. We're gonna sit in the room and by the time we come out of the room. Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

Peace.

[TEMS]

Peace. Yeah. Well, yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

What?

[TEMS]

Love. Peace and love.

[Angie Martinez]

You put them all in check.

[TEMS]

Well, the thing is, I'll be. I'll have the gift of persuasion. So they will all be persuaded. I wouldn't even need to put them in check. They would just be so convinced that they didn't know what they were doing before they just walk out of the room, like, wow, everything she said made sense. What have we been doing, guys?

[Angie Martinez]

You really do want to heal the world. It is your nature to really want to heal the world.

[TEMS]

I mean, like, that's the first thing that is, like, the most important. Like, how can you have. I can't. We can't. We don't know what's going to happen. So how can we truly have peace when the whole world this at war, you know?

[Angie Martinez]

Yeah.

[TEMS]

So I think that the first solution. Let's address this first. Then I can enjoy my life on a yacht somewhere.

[Angie Martinez]

As you should. As you should. What is your guilty pleasure in real life?

[TEMS]

Guilty pleasure? Oh, yeah. I am a shopaholic. I think, well, I'm not a shopaholic. I experience symptoms of being a shopaholic. Okay. I am recovering. Okay. I go into a store, they could be selling, I don't know, rat poison, and I would buy at least different types of rat poison, even when I don't have rats.

[Angie Martinez]

You want to buy it?

[TEMS]

I'm buying. I go into a store and I'm doing something in that store.

[Angie Martinez]

You show serious signs of shopaholicness.

[TEMS]

I do. I don't know why I do such things. Things I really don't. That's. So now that I'm aware, before I go anywhere, I'm like, once I step in here, I know I'm buying something. So do I really want to step in here?

[Angie Martinez]

Oh, my God. I like this question for you, Tims. In real life, what are you most proud of about yourself?

[TEMS]

Hmm. In real life, I am really proud that.

[Angie Martinez]

Think about it.

[TEMS]

I've stood on business in certain aspects of my life. Like, I said no, and I never went back to certain things, vices, people. I just said no and I stood on that. I'm not a recur. I'm not a. I'm not an addict to anything. I'm not, you know, I do. I'm not in any toxic. Toxic situations. I just. I know when something isn't for me and I say no. And that's it. Wow. Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

That is to be proud of. Even.

[TEMS]

Even in love. I was always like that.

[Angie Martinez]

I was gonna say even in love. Are you that.

[TEMS]

Well, to be fair, yeah, I am like that, but in a forgiving way. So I don't cut off out of anger or out of hurt or anything. It's just out of understanding that the best thing for you right now is to not have me in your life. Actually. You don't need. I'm not all you need. You know,

[Angie Martinez]

that's pretty good. I see what you did there,

[TEMS]

you know, no pun intended.

[Angie Martinez]

I love that in that song that you say that though, because it's not, you know, people break up, relationships end. And usually a lot of the songs is somebody left me or, or you did something so bad to me. You're like you.

[TEMS]

I'm like you. What you need is something different. You're not here yet. You know, you're not here yet. And that's okay. I'm actually not like you're not. We're not.

[Angie Martinez]

Not.

[TEMS]

You know, so for me, when I, When I do cut people off, it's not like without explanation as well. It's like, it's like I don't. I don't talk too much, but I just like. So this is what's going to happen now. Okay. And I want you to know that you are. You can do so much better. And I believe in you. You. And I have faith in you.

[Angie Martinez]

Oh, this is killing them.

[TEMS]

Okay. Yes, I have faith and I know that I'm gonna see you successful in the future. And I am really happy when they're successful. When I. I don't really.

[Angie Martinez]

This is how you break up with people?

[TEMS]

Yeah, well. Well, the thing is, by then it's not. It's not an emotional thing. I'm not emotional. I don't feel hurt. I've. I've already liked, like cried and yeah, I've already done everything I need to do. Cuz for me, once someone is presenting symptoms, right, I have to diagnose it. You know what I'm saying? I have to give you a diagnosis like, okay, this is what this person is experiencing out of love. What does this person need right now? What does this person have to work with? And what does. What. What can I do to help this person? And sometimes that means. Means I'm not in your life because I also have to think about myself. And if I'm not good, how can I. How can I help you if you're making. If you're triggering me or if, if we're not meeting eye to eye then what could I possibly do for you? Like even if I wanted to help you I really can't actually because you are not in this state where you can't even let me help you.

[Angie Martinez]

This is the most grown up way to break up with somebody I've ever heard of or to cut somebody off. It is the most mature adult way that I've ever heard. Are you really like this in every like are you that non emotional about it?

[TEMS]

I mean the thing is yes, I am non emotional about it. I think, wow, obviously I do have emotions and I sort. What I do is I sort through my emotions. I get all the information I need. Like this is how I feel. This is the reality separate from how I feel. This is the, the fruits that this person is producing. This is. Everything this person touches looks like this. And everything that I touch looks like this. This is what this person has to offer. Realistically, this is what I have to offer. Clearly we are not compatible. So now emotion is gone because it's not even about whether I want you or it's not about wanting you are not for me. Like it's all an illusion. The feeling of wanting illusion because you can wake up tomorrow and you don't want that person anymore. That's not love. So love is actually seen beyond your wants. And thinking about what does this person need right now as a human being like to be better as a human. What does this person actually need? And whatever that thing is, I don't have the answers. But I know that I need to get away from you as soon as possible. So I'm going to do this nicely because your human I guess you're working through some things. I don't judge you, I don't blame you. But goodbye.

[Angie Martinez]

Wow. Women struggle with that, you know, separating emotion and practicality and just truth.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

You know what I mean? They struggle with that. Have you always been as like a gift I guess?

[TEMS]

No, no I've not. I also struggle with that. I'm very, I used to be so emotional like incredibly. But it's, it's the awareness thing I think from me wanting to be so aware of myself. Like I want to know like I've been researching and researching like well why do we feel this way? Why do we do that? I'm asked so all the questions you can think of, I've gone to find the answers. So I think in that journey is when I realized, realized oh this thing I feel. It felt like the end of the world but it really wasn't the end of the world. So that means that this thing is an illusion, you know, and you figured

[Angie Martinez]

it out and you trust the answer, you know?

[TEMS]

So I'm like, okay, so how do I come out of this when I feel it? Let's start researching, you know, and that's how I worked my way up.

[Angie Martinez]

You know, what's so exciting about you is that because you're in such a state of learning all the time, like, to watch your progression, like, I can't wait to sit with you, you know, God willing, whatever, in two years or three years to see what life has taught you and brought you along.

[TEMS]

By that point, I don't even know what that's gonna look like.

[Angie Martinez]

It'll be fun.

[TEMS]

It would. I would like that.

[Angie Martinez]

It would be fun to see.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

In the meantime, what do people need to know? Now, as we wrap up, what does this next chapter for you look like?

[Podcast Host/Producer]

I mean, you're still kind of in it, right?

[Angie Martinez]

I would imagine, because you're still in this. You just dropped this music. You're still on the road. But I don't know, what do you envision for yourself this next Thames chapter to look like personally and I guess your career?

[TEMS]

Personally, I think I'm more grounded now. So what I'm trying to do is sow my seeds. I think now is the time to sow seeds and plant trees and meet people. I'm ready to get out there and talk to people. I'm ready to get out there and make more music. Music is always going to be part of my life. And also, I'm moving away from seeing myself as one thing. Like, oh, yes, I am a musician. But now I'm realizing that. That I have gifts in many other things, like pattern recognition and applying that in, like, business and learning about business, learning about the world, learning about politics. I think because I'm really trying to learn a lot. I think this next chapter is diversification, you know, of investments.

[Angie Martinez]

Wow. Well, I really can't wait for our next chat then.

[TEMS]

Me too.

[Angie Martinez]

Wait, one last question. That's in the bowl, right? I love this question. I wish you would have got it, but I'm going to pull it for you.

[TEMS]

Okay.

[Angie Martinez]

If God were to text you right now, what would it say?

[TEMS]

Wow, deep. If God were to text you, like,

[Angie Martinez]

on that phone that you don't have the social media on, but you get a text and it's from God, what does it say?

[TEMS]

I am with you.

[Angie Martinez]

Is there an emoji?

[TEMS]

He would probably be like, my daughter, I am with you. I don't he might do an emoji, but I can't put myself in the place of God. I can't know what he would actually text me in reality, but I imagine that that's what he might. But I know that what he would really text me if he did would be so much better than what I just said.

[Angie Martinez]

It's perfectly aligned with who you are.

[TEMS]

Yeah.

[Angie Martinez]

That's TEMS in real life.

[TEMS]

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[Angie Martinez]

That question is so funny because it really always reveals so much about people and the fact that you can't even answer it because you're so much in the. In your faith that you. You don't even want to pretend that you could answer it better than he would answer it. No, that.

[TEMS]

That.

[Angie Martinez]

That question always is very telling about people.

[TEMS]

This is TEMS in real life.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comment and check out all of the other episodes we have on Angie Martinez IRL Podcast

[Daniel Cormier]

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[TEMS]

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[TEMS]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.