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Angie Martinez IRL - Victoria Monet: Grammys, Self-Love & Taking the Stage with Bruno Mars
00:59:52
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- [00:00]
Victoria Monet
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
- [00:07]
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
And, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
- [00:16]
Co-host
Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?
- [00:20]
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
- [00:27]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
- [00:28]
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
- [00:56]
Spanish Language Promo Announcer
Escucha Central. Las reinas de quince en la Apte. IHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts. Odon dese a que escuches tus podcasts.
- [01:04]
Victoria Monet
The women that I've dated have been, like, sexy too. Yeah, a little bit femme. A little bit more like in the middle or more femme than masculine. But I also think about children and just be thrown against the wall. I'm so weak. I'm Femin.
- [01:29]
Sponsor Announcer
Hey, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. So our guest today was growing up writing poetry instead of going to parties. She spent 15 years writing hit records for folks like Ariana Grande, Nas, Brandi, and more. She is a three time Grammy winner, New York Times bestseller, a culinary student,
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Co-host
a mom to the youngest Grammy nominee
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Sponsor Announcer
in history, and this summer, she's going
- [01:53]
Co-host
to stadiums, the stadiums of Europe with Bruno Mars.
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Sponsor Announcer
Welcome Victoria Monet to irl.
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Co-host
And we are dressed like men in black. I don't know if we're gonna be security or R B group. I don't know what's happening. But we were. We were.
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Victoria Monet
We were in sync today. Yes.
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Co-host
Without even trying.
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Victoria Monet
I love it. Hi, baby. How you doing?
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Co-host
I'm good. How are you doing?
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Victoria Monet
I'm good. All right.
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Sponsor Announcer
So you have many, many accolades.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah.
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Co-host
You've been through a lot of seasons.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah.
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Sponsor Announcer
Where are we at now?
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Co-host
What season is this right now?
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Victoria Monet
I think this is like self love season.
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Co-host
Was it not always?
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Victoria Monet
Yeah, I suppose. But I feel like I put other people above the amount of love I had for myself. So now I fully feel like the frequency that I'm on feels very loving, gentle towards myself.
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Co-host
What is the act of that?
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Victoria Monet
I think it's my side quest because instead of doing something that I've been doing for 15 years, which would technically pay me, you know, pursuing music, pursuing artistry, songwriting, and all of that that I'm known for, I've been over here doing culinary school, studying tai chi, boxing class, stretch class, the weight training. I did a six Week intensive. Also with this. This coach called Wutali, and he had me doing meditations along with the sun. So I do it at sunrise, at zenith, and at sunset, and it's. You gaze into, like, you go outside and you turn to each direction, like north, south, east, west, and it's this meditation. So it takes a certain amount of commitment to do that three times a day. No matter what's going on.
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Co-host
Three times a day is a. Is a real commitment.
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Victoria Monet
For real? For real. But I think it's what I need, is just what I needed to kind of shift my energy.
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Co-host
Wait, so has this been, like a year? This has been all year. You've made these things?
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Victoria Monet
Well, for the past year, I've been doing all of. Of them, but not all at the same time. So this. This meditation that I was doing with the sun. The sun was for six weeks straight.
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Co-host
You just finished that?
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Victoria Monet
No, this was in the fall.
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Co-host
What came out of it?
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Victoria Monet
I just felt, like, awakened. I felt like it's almost that feeling that you get when you fast. Have you ever fasted for long enough where you feel like you're a little like Loathy? Yeah, it was like that, but naturally. So it's almost like there was some kind of influence, like how you feel when you have a sip of wine or how you feel if you. I don't know if you could talk about this on here, but, like, if she's showing me or anything like that, you're like, huh, I'm more alert, more awakened. But it just happened with breathwork and meditation and, like, giving yourself that time and, like, paying attention to God and, like, acting with the sun, being outside in the sun, getting that vitamin D, all of that was really influential in my mood. And it was like coffee.
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Co-host
Were you doing it just as, like, exploratory, you want to learn things, or were you doing it to get through something?
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Victoria Monet
I definitely was wanting to get through something, and I felt like I needed some kind of change, like some urgent change. Last year being the year of the Snake, a lot of shedding was happening in my personal life and in my business. Lots of changes in business and just trying to do something that takes you out of your own algorithm, I feel like really resets something in your spirit and in your mind to, like, feel something else, you know? So it's something that I felt called to do. I found out about him through this breath work class at my eyebrow. What are they called? Esthetician.
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Co-host
Eyebrow person.
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Victoria Monet
Eyebrow person. My eyebrow person. She's really spiritual and she's Always talking about, you know, your signs and angel numbers and all of that. So she introduced me to this coach who did a breathwork class. And I took my mom, I took my friends.
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Co-host
Tell me how it goes, though. Like what it. The breath work?
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Sponsor Announcer
Yeah.
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Co-host
Like, what is the ritual?
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Victoria Monet
You go in when I tell you it's so crazy. You think that it's like that some la woo woo. Yes, it sounds like that, but it actually. Before the class starts, he kind of goes through, passes out these notebooks that has. You write down your intentions, what you want to get from this intensive. And also these animals that you may be aligned with. So there's like an eagle, there's a jaguar. There's all these different animals. Like, which one do you feel most like? So you identify that.
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Co-host
Which one did you.
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Victoria Monet
There's jaguar. There was a jaguar on that. I was like, yeah, for sure.
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Co-host
My animal be.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah. What would your animal be? What do you feel like today?
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Co-host
Like an owl.
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Victoria Monet
Okay. What made you say ow?
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Co-host
Like, just because I feel like I will just be chilling, watching, watching, waiting. Not super aggressive or super needy.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah.
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Co-host
Just kind of like alert and present. Just present and assessing.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah. And I wonder what the spiritual meaning of it is. Look it up. Yeah. Because what they. When you identify the animal, there's also a spiritual meaning attached to it. Before you even know what it is, you choose the animal and then they reveal to you.
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Co-host
Yeah. And so you're a jaguar. Why?
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Victoria Monet
Because you're like, you know what? I don't remember the exact.
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Co-host
Is it because you feel like fluid?
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Victoria Monet
And when I think of.
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Co-host
Is it to do with movement? Like what?
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Victoria Monet
At that phase, I felt like a jaguar. I don't know if I feel like that anymore, but to me, when I think of jaguars, they, like, are camouflaged in, like, their environment, but they're watching and they know exactly when to strike and kind of pounce. And they have a really strong bite. Once they latch, they have the strongest bite in the jungle. Like, they. They really bite down, but it takes a minute, they're patient, and then their claws are out. I also like how sensual they feel like when they're walking. The way their shoulder blades look, it feels like they're. There's a little bit of mystery there. Now I feel a bit softer, like my claws are not out anymore. I feel more relaxed in my position.
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Co-host
Who would your animal be now?
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Victoria Monet
I don't know.
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Co-host
I love this question. I think everybody should figure out their animals. Everybody's animal.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah. What's your animal? I don't know. If it's an animal, maybe it's more like a butterfly. Like, I feel like I have transformed, so there used to be some. Yeah. Like, I have these wings and I'm floating higher above different things, and I can land on whatever flowers I want and go sniff over here and see what's going on. But I used to be a caterpillar, you know, Like, I came from something and I've put in the work to trans, and I trusted that moments in the dark where it felt like, I don't know what I'm becoming, but I'm just gonna snuggle in here and be.
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Co-host
So maybe you said that word snuggle when you came in.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah, I want to snuggle.
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Co-host
I like.
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Victoria Monet
I feel like snuggly. Definitely not jaguar vibes.
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Co-host
No, Jaguars are not snuggling with nobody.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah, that's love.
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Co-host
Yeah. You're in a different era. You're like a koala bear. Yeah. Butterfly.
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Victoria Monet
Have you seen the red panda?
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Co-host
No. Are you a red panda? Maybe you're a red panda.
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Victoria Monet
They're so cute. I'm sorry, I'm side questing.
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Co-host
No, that's so cut. That's interesting, though, because it's about, like. It forces you to, like, think about where you are, think about your temperament.
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Victoria Monet
Right.
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Co-host
It forces you to, like, look at yourself in, like, a fun kind of way. Right. So that's probably what that does.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah, for sure.
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Co-host
And then the breath work. Does what?
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Victoria Monet
The breath work. It's another one of those things that make you feel like you have taken something, but you. It's just with your breath, I think oxygen has. Delivers some kind of oxytocin, serotonin. Something's going on. I don't know the exact definitions of it, but there's.
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Co-host
We're not gonna hold you to it. Like you're an expert.
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Victoria Monet
Thank you so much. You scientists out there, you let me know in the comments, like, she's just
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Co-host
planting the seeds of her experience. It's for you to do the research.
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Victoria Monet
Yes, yes. So taking this breathwork class. The breath work can make you feel high, and it makes you. It actually brings up traumas sometimes. Like, your eyes are closed and the patterns in which he has you breathe. There's like a journey that he takes you on. So at one point, you could almost hear messages or you could tap back into a memory that you didn't even think that you needed to address and it would come to you.
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Co-host
Did that happen to you?
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Victoria Monet
Yeah. Yeah. And it sounds really crazy, but there's a chance that Your body responds by your hands, what they call chickening. So they'll be stuck in a certain position. But it's all based on trauma. So different people in the room are going through all these different things. But you have a blindfold. There's like special music playing when you take your blindfold off. After the breath work experience, everyone kind of goes around the room and he asks people, like, what did you experience? One person in the room had some kind of, I would want to say, like a tumor that was stuck. They literally vomited it up. It sounds really crazy and I swear I'm not cuckoo, but this is what was happening in this class, like these types of things. And some people's experience was, I went to every doctor and they couldn't tell me what was wrong with me. I came to this class, I experienced this, I vomited whatever trauma it was, and now I feel great. There's all these, like, stories about people doing the breathwork class and it really physically healing them.
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Co-host
And is this breathwork in general or this specific person in the witness?
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Victoria Monet
This was an intensive one, so it was about four hours of it. So, like the first hour was him talking about the experience and what to expect and doing that worksheet. And then there was like two and a half hours of the actual breath work and then another 30 minutes or an hour of kind of talking about it with everybody. But this is something that people do daily, some people. And I think that's when I. That's why when I think of, like, people who don't have distractions, for example,
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Co-host
like a monk, like I'm obsessed with the monks.
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Victoria Monet
Do you see what I'm saying?
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Co-host
I really believe they have power, stayed in the. And this. And the calmness and the. And then the. The evenness.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah.
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Co-host
Of how I. By the way, I've never been a monk, so I don't know me, but in my imagination, how they move through the world. It's fascinating.
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Victoria Monet
Exactly.
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Co-host
Yeah.
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Victoria Monet
That's what I think about these people who have those discipline, daily practices. And I do feel like it's possible that you tap into more using more of a percentages of your brain, so you can do things like. Like change things or move things or float a little. Like, maybe I do sound a little bit crazy, but I do believe that if we remove distractions, we could do. Yeah, all kinds of stuff.
- [12:55]
Co-host
Yeah, for sure.
- [12:56]
Sponsor Announcer
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Co-host
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Co-host
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- [13:53]
Co-host
That's what you do. Download the Hard Rock Bet app and let the games begin. I think it's just like everybody has different ways to break through things.
- [14:02]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [14:03]
Co-host
And there's so many people, especially now. The world is crazy. Things are designed to stress you out and to give you fear and. And we're so busy that we don't
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Sponsor Announcer
deal with the things that are eating at us. So they sit.
- [14:18]
Co-host
And then that stuff just becomes so hard to deal with and hard to sort through.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah.
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Co-host
And so, like, finding this is like, one way to, like, sort through the junk.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah.
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Co-host
To clear the path, I guess.
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Sponsor Announcer
Right.
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Co-host
So you can have all that stuff kind of come in.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah.
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Co-host
And I think whatever the path is, however, you had to clear it out. Clear it out.
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Victoria Monet
Get it cleaner.
- [14:39]
Co-host
Get a cleaner. We've had people on the pod talk about, like, shrooms or.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah.
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Co-host
Ayahuasca or Chelsea Handler does, like, what's. What did Chelsea do? Maryland, mdma, which. That scares me. But she swears by it.
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Victoria Monet
Some people.
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Co-host
Some people. Tashira, Tasha Smith. Some people, it's prayer. Like, deep. Like prayer is like how they kind of sort through the noise and get connected. And so this is just like another way. It's interesting. I've never done it. I would totally try it. We should do no drugs involved.
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Victoria Monet
No drugs.
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Co-host
So I feel like I can.
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Victoria Monet
Safe. It's safe. Yeah.
- [15:19]
Co-host
You know what I did one time, which was interesting. It reminded me what you're talking about. I did have you call. It's emdr. Is it.
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Victoria Monet
Is that when you have something attached to both sides of your body. And there's like.
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Co-host
Yeah, people do, right? People do it different ways. It's like they make your eyes go like this. And it's supposed to be like one side of your brain holds your trauma. And the weight of the therapy is it is to move the trauma to the other side of your brain, the side of your brain that holds just memory. So that when you think of the trauma, it's almost like thinking of something in a movie. It's not attached to emotion. It's like you could be like, oh, yeah, I went through this bad car accident, or I saw somebody get murdered, or I saw.
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Sponsor Announcer
And you could say it as a
- [16:00]
Co-host
story without feeling it in your body. And when it's on the other side of your brain, you could get scared when you're in the car, which is what was happening to me, which is why I went and did it. But when I did it, the same thing you were talking about with the breath work, old shit came up that I hadn't thought about since I was a kid. I was like, what? Hold on. Where did that.
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Victoria Monet
Right.
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Sponsor Announcer
Where did that come from?
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Co-host
I forgot about that.
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Victoria Monet
Yeah.
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Co-host
And it's wild how the brain holds stuff that we don't. We're walking around and we don't even realize that we're holding onto.
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Victoria Monet
Right.
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Co-host
It's crazy.
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Victoria Monet
I think it also physically manifests so that when you. When I hear people, you know, with cancer specifically, I feel like sometimes that could. Could have come from not only the products and the way that we have with our food systems in Americ and all of that, but also stress. Like when you're holding certain things that you don't clear it some, it's like, becomes these knots in your body or your cells respond to it in a way that physically manifests into certain diseases. So I think stress levels and clearing that out is even physically important, just as it is mentally important.
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Co-host
Good for you.
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Sponsor Announcer
I love that you're.
- [17:12]
Co-host
That you've done this amount of work
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Victoria Monet
on yourself, really working on it.
- [17:16]
Co-host
I could feel you lighter. You feel light.
- [17:19]
Sponsor Announcer
I mean, you never felt heavy.
- [17:20]
Co-host
You didn't, you know, you didn't feel like a heavy energy. You're always lovely and sweet and. But, yeah, I love that for you.
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Victoria Monet
Thank you.
- [17:27]
Co-host
It's an easier way to walk around the world, right?
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Victoria Monet
Yeah, a lot. A lot more weightless. I've. I mean, I'm still trying different things, as most recently, I observed Ramadan.
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Co-host
And you're not Muslim, though, right?
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Victoria Monet
I'm not, no. But I wanted the. I felt called to do it and I wanted to explore the discipline. And I'm not technically Muslim, but I think, you know, one of the things that Muslims believe is that when you're a messenger for God or when you believe in God, then that's one of the definitions of being a Muslim. Like putting God's ideas before your own. And when you're talking about fasting and praying, you're kind of out of your own flesh. So that's a really nice way to feel connected and, you know, here for something bigger than yourself. So it was really a really great experience for me too. And I'm so open to continuing these spiritual modalities.
- [18:23]
Co-host
So is it just something that you. That calls you and you just try it, you just try it. You're just down for it.
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Victoria Monet
I want to be open to it, you know, like, I think maybe growing up in a Baptist household, that's just, you know, the messages, that's. That's who we are, that's how we are. But now I want to kind of know about other ways of thinking and believing and then see if I really return back to my roots or if I adapt any other ideologies or just being open minded to how the rest of the world.
- [18:57]
Co-host
Yeah.
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Victoria Monet
May do things.
- [18:59]
Co-host
Imagine the whole world could be like that. Imagine people could actually be interested in other people's experiences.
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Victoria Monet
You know, it's like we are interested, but not deeply. Like, we're so interested that we have an Instagram. Like, we're so we'll follow and like, and like surface level. Be interested but not like.
- [19:17]
Co-host
Yeah.
- [19:18]
Victoria Monet
With empathy.
- [19:19]
Co-host
Yeah. Or yeah. Something. A lot of it has judgment or. Yeah.
- [19:24]
Victoria Monet
Comparison. All that.
- [19:27]
Co-host
Well, whack shit.
- [19:28]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. We don't want to be like.
- [19:29]
Co-host
No, we don't want to be like that. So what is all this, like, so how does this affect you as an artist? So now you're like back in work mode. Right. Like, has this past year been. Not a lot of work?
- [19:39]
Victoria Monet
No, this has been in addition to
- [19:41]
Co-host
work, just still working it on, stacking it up. Because you were working on this project, right, and preparing for this tour.
- [19:47]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just the days became longer. I started the days at 4am and then training and then the meditations for about six weeks of it and then off to school. Then after school, vocal lessons and studio
- [20:07]
Co-host
culinary lessons happened also.
- [20:09]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, culinary lessons.
- [20:10]
Co-host
You still do vocal lessons though, by the way.
- [20:12]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, yeah. I want to be better. I wasn't doing it in the beginning of my career. Which was a grave mistake. And I don't know, like, girl, what were you thinking? I didn't do it consistently. I was like, oh, I already sing, and I do it every once in a while. But one thing that was really inspiring to me was working with Usher, and he was still taking vocal lessons. I was, like, talking about legends here, and they're still working on their craft, which is so inspiring. So I was like, let me go ahead and be consistent. So I went to vocal lessons and speech pathology class, and I think even just clearing myself energetically helped my voice.
- [20:49]
Co-host
What are you getting ready for?
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Victoria Monet
You know what I mean?
- [20:54]
Co-host
It feels like getting ready for war.
- [20:57]
Victoria Monet
Literally.
- [20:58]
Co-host
I'm training emotional spiritual war. What are you like?
- [21:02]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, I think maybe it's just in order to take on the next level of success, I have to be deserving of it and ready for what it may bring. I think music, the music industry, spiritually, can be very dangerous and dark. So the deeper you walk into it, the more you may be tempted or the more tested or attacked. So I feel like I'm building a really strong force field that's, like, of light. Like, okay, I can handle all of it.
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Co-host
I know who I am.
- [21:32]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [21:33]
Co-host
Spiritually grounded.
- [21:35]
Victoria Monet
I had nowhere to return to. If I feel shaky, like, I'll go back to breath work. I'll go back to fasting. I'll go back to, you know, maybe just cooking in the kitchen and singing there versus the show, you know, being so worried about what everyone thinks of me.
- [21:51]
Co-host
Was that a thing for you?
- [21:53]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. I think, honestly, it's tough not to compare or be on a stage and, like, be present, not worry about if that audience member is really liking the vocals or, like, you know, it's just all these. They're, like, quick, quick thoughts. I'm not ruminating on them, but they. They come.
- [22:10]
Co-host
They come.
- [22:11]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [22:12]
Co-host
It take you. They take you down. If you let them, they would. I'm excited for this new season for you.
- [22:16]
Victoria Monet
Thank you.
- [22:17]
Co-host
I mean, it's just like, we're all just trying to, like, always work on ourselves. Right. And become better versions of ourselves and.
- [22:22]
Victoria Monet
Right. Do you feel like. Do you feel.
- [22:28]
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty mutual, Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
- [22:37]
Victoria Monet
Hey, everyone.
- [22:38]
Co-host
Check out this guy and his bird. What is this your first date?
- [22:41]
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a Bird.
- [22:48]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
- [22:49]
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
- [23:45]
Spanish Language Promo Announcer
Escucha Central, Las reinas de quince como parte de my cultura podcast network. Elaab, the iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Odontec es cuchestos podcasts.
- [23:56]
Victoria Monet
Like, Earth is like a school. Like, we came here to learn something and keep learning, and then we kind of grad. Like, passing away is like a graduation of sorts.
- [24:06]
Co-host
Girl, I want to learn things till the lights go out.
- [24:09]
Victoria Monet
Right.
- [24:10]
Co-host
I want to do that. And honestly, when you stop doing that, I think is when you. When your body starts giving out, when you start losing energy, you start losing motivation, passion, because you're not inspired and learning anything new. I want to learn something new all the time. We just. I just shot my first film that I wrote and directed myself as a short. But it's starting that. Learning how to do that.
- [24:32]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [24:32]
Co-host
Messing up, bumping my head, like, wasting money on, like, oh, like, I did that. I learned to golf three years ago, which I'm still learning. It's like a. Just. I'm learning something new literally every week.
- [24:46]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [24:47]
Co-host
But just. Yeah, I learned from my guests all the time.
- [24:50]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [24:51]
Co-host
I just learned about this level of.
- [24:53]
Sponsor Announcer
I mean, I know about breath work.
- [24:54]
Co-host
But this way that you kind of did it is a new interesting idea. Thought to me, I may actually go try that now.
- [25:00]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. I'm gonna send you his page. He does his intensive. But that's really cool that you, like, you have to.
- [25:05]
Co-host
Right. That's everything. That's really why we launched the pod is like, I want to learn from. I don't want to just learn skills.
- [25:11]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [25:11]
Co-host
I want to learn how to navigate
- [25:13]
Sponsor Announcer
how people are navigating through the world.
- [25:15]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [25:16]
Co-host
Successfully.
- [25:17]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [25:18]
Co-host
And I don't mean success financially. Nothing like that. But like, like, you, like, you, like, you're getting something out of what you're experiencing.
- [25:26]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [25:26]
Co-host
Yeah.
- [25:27]
Victoria Monet
I think. I mean, when I think about just the piece at, like, the golf course,
- [25:31]
Co-host
oh, my God, it's the greatest thing ever. You golf before, right? You told me that.
- [25:34]
Victoria Monet
I did my freshman year of high school, and I was walking through high school with my little golf club clubs, just as a freshman, just already, like, nervous, and someone was like, what are you, Tiger woods sister? I was like, mom, I gotta stop golf. Like, already done with it. I just wanted to dance.
- [25:51]
Co-host
How did that happen? Your mother wanted you to do something different.
- [25:53]
Victoria Monet
She was like, there's no black golfers. And if you black and you Golf, you gonna get a scholarship? I was like, I'm not even good. I don't even notice.
- [25:59]
Co-host
You can do this. It's so hard.
- [26:01]
Victoria Monet
It's really hard. But I feel like now as an adult, it makes them meditative.
- [26:05]
Co-host
You didn't feel, you didn't fall in love? You didn't like it at all? No, no.
- [26:09]
Victoria Monet
That was the kids, the ment. Now I think I would love. I mean I love topgolf. I know it's different.
- [26:15]
Co-host
Totally.
- [26:16]
Victoria Monet
That's fun.
- [26:16]
Co-host
But we're gonna, we're gonna take you. But you're at this age. So you're what high school? You said when you were golfer.
- [26:21]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, freshman in high school.
- [26:22]
Co-host
But you're probably like, you already have dreams of being a star. No. Are you writing? Are you singing? Are you?
- [26:27]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. I was like, this is not gonna. I don't see me getting a golf scholarship. Mom. I appreciate it.
- [26:33]
Co-host
I want to be. I want to be an artist.
- [26:34]
Victoria Monet
I want to be a star. Yeah. So that was, that was short lived.
- [26:41]
Co-host
Did she believe in that at the time?
- [26:43]
Victoria Monet
She was like, yeah, because it was a performing arts high school. I was like, why am I going to performing arts high school to perform golf? It really didn't, it didn't clock. But she was trying her best as a single mom to be like, you're not going to be in the situation that I'm in. You're not going to, you're going to be better, you're going to go further. And I just had a different way of doing that. It's a lot scarier and a lot less of a guarantee my way, I guess. But yeah, it eventually worked out.
- [27:13]
Co-host
She wasn't against it though. She wasn't?
- [27:15]
Victoria Monet
No, no, she wasn't. I mean, she didn't like that I was coming home late because I was at dance rehearsals. It was very sister act vibes.
- [27:23]
Co-host
Like really?
- [27:24]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. I was like, mom, I just want to dance. And she was like, you're not going to keep coming to my house at 1am from dance rehearsal. And I was like, but you should see what the other kids are out there doing till 1am I'm just dancing. Like. It was very. That.
- [27:36]
Co-host
Yeah. She had to. Yeah, I get that.
- [27:39]
Victoria Monet
She needed to get me together though. She wasn't wrong. I was coming home.
- [27:42]
Co-host
She wasn't wrong.
- [27:43]
Victoria Monet
She wasn't wrong.
- [27:44]
Co-host
But it paid off.
- [27:45]
Victoria Monet
It did. So. So I guess we was both right.
- [27:47]
Co-host
Wait, you mentioned going, you mentioned the shift of the Chinese New Year.
- [27:51]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [27:52]
Co-host
Which was. It was the year of the Snake Year.
- [27:54]
Victoria Monet
Of the snake.
- [27:55]
Co-host
And then we went into horse.
- [27:56]
Victoria Monet
Fire horse.
- [27:57]
Co-host
Fire horse, yeah. So what does that, how does that affect you?
- [28:00]
Victoria Monet
Fire horse? They say it means that things are going to go by really, really fast. Like imagine the horse galloping in the direction that you're supposed to go. And it's also a one year, which is the end of a nine year cycle that we may have all been in. So it's kind of a new beginning. Maybe we'll all have lots of different shifts that we're experiencing in our personal, financial, spiritual career lives, but quickly and probably more in the direction of alignment that you're supposed to be in. But when you think about that and you make yourself aware of that, it feels like it all makes sense. Like whatever happened last year, the shedding that we've done, you probably would be like, oh, that's why that person's not in my life. Oh, that's why I'm not doing that anymore. It's because it was literally aligned to do so up Until, I believe February 17th is when the year of the fire horse technically started. So, yeah, it feels good, I think. And this year has been going fast.
- [29:02]
Co-host
It's been like, oh, yes, it's flying. May, like damn near May already. Yeah, yeah, it's flying.
- [29:08]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. So I feel aligned with what's happening in my life too. What about you? You feel like.
- [29:15]
Co-host
Oh yeah, I'm doing all types of new things and new experiences and shifting and making changes in my life too that are. I don't know, I'm in a little bit of a.
- [29:27]
Sponsor Announcer
You know, there's seasons in your life
- [29:28]
Co-host
where you have figured out what you want to do and you. And you're in the process of transitioning.
- [29:33]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [29:33]
Co-host
But then there's seasons where you kind of have to sit still.
- [29:36]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [29:36]
Co-host
And like, and I'm a little bit. I'm working. Trust me, I work. I work. Like, of course I workhorse. Right.
- [29:42]
Sponsor Announcer
So I have ideas and creative things
- [29:44]
Co-host
and we want to do and I have this project and, and so all of that. But in internally and personally, I'm kind of like waiting.
- [29:52]
Victoria Monet
The owl.
- [29:53]
Co-host
Oh, yeah.
- [29:54]
Victoria Monet
That's why I'm the owl.
- [29:57]
Co-host
And I'm also trust. I'm not just waiting. I'm just like in a flow state. Like, I'm trusting.
- [30:02]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [30:04]
Co-host
I'm receiving. I'm paying attention to, you know, the road.
- [30:09]
Victoria Monet
That feels very feminine to me. Like, that's a very feminine energy.
- [30:12]
Co-host
Is it? I love that because I've always been
- [30:14]
Sponsor Announcer
accused of the opposite.
- [30:15]
Victoria Monet
Really?
- [30:15]
Co-host
Yes.
- [30:16]
Victoria Monet
No, this is Very feminine. I think that feminine femininity is like an art of allowing, art of space. Um, and just, like being in a flow, masculine energy is like, I'm gonna hunt, I'm gonna go get, and I'm gonna make it happen. Da, da, da, da. Yeah, but you're on the other side. And that still so powerful. And it takes a lot of power to allow yourself to do that, especially
- [30:40]
Co-host
when you naturally operate the other way.
- [30:43]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, Go getters.
- [30:44]
Co-host
Yeah, I'm a natural go getter, for sure. So for me to be like, just let me just ride this wave.
- [30:49]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, let me see.
- [30:50]
Co-host
Let me just ride it. See how it feels. It's actually kind of cool. I'm into it.
- [30:54]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, it's empowering.
- [30:55]
Co-host
A little breath work might be good for me though, too. Yeah? Yeah, I might try that.
- [30:59]
Victoria Monet
Sure.
- [31:02]
Sponsor Announcer
All right.
- [31:02]
Co-host
Culinary school. I love that for you. Speaking of new things, what has that been like for you?
- [31:08]
Victoria Monet
It's actually been one of the best decisions I've ever made.
- [31:13]
Co-host
Are you really going to take this all the way to be a chef?
- [31:17]
Victoria Monet
I don't plan on working at a restaurant full time, but I do want to make things happen in the culinary space. So I can imagine having something on the shelves. Grocery stores, I'm wanting. I mean, people fell in love with my cookies, so I started a business called Sweet Monet's. I haven't really launched it yet, but I think my goal on tour would be to have the Sweet Monet's cookie truck trailing my tour bus, and so people can get merch and cookies there.
- [31:47]
Co-host
I feel like this is already happening.
- [31:49]
Victoria Monet
I mean, it's in the. It's in the manifesto. I. I also have a series called Saucy Sundays that I've been doing, where on Sundays, I will just give different recipes to different sauces. I really think that sauce changes the dynamic of any food. Like, same pasta, a whole bunch of different sauces can really eat. That's seven meals in a week. Or the rice with whatever sauce, the fish with whatever sauce just opens up in a really simple way. Ways for people to change the way they're cooking. So I want probably to have that on the shelves.
- [32:27]
Co-host
You're probably like a dream girlfriend.
- [32:31]
Victoria Monet
You think so? I'm so single, though.
- [32:36]
Co-host
The cooking is not. Is not attracting.
- [32:38]
Victoria Monet
I mean, hello, anybody want a meal?
- [32:40]
Co-host
Why are you single, though? Because you want to be. Because I would imagine there's options for you.
- [32:46]
Victoria Monet
There is a lot of options. But pero, I am so busy doing all the side quests.
- [32:54]
Co-host
I don't Know, doing breath classes, doing
- [32:56]
Victoria Monet
breath work and cooking. Like, I don't.
- [32:57]
Co-host
And making albums and prepping for Bruno Mars tour.
- [33:00]
Victoria Monet
Yes.
- [33:01]
Co-host
Yeah.
- [33:01]
Victoria Monet
It's a lot. And I think this season says to me that, like, I do need to continue to focus on myself, but I'm probably also preparing for that right person. Like, every. Everything that I'm becoming is probably, hopefully what he's also doing. So that when we meet, we're the people we're supposed to be when we're together and it actually lasts, you know, Hopefully.
- [33:22]
Co-host
But you said he.
- [33:23]
Victoria Monet
He. Yeah. Well, only because.
- [33:26]
Co-host
Is that what you look. Because you've been open about the girls?
- [33:30]
Victoria Monet
Do me dirty. Dirty. No, the girl.
- [33:33]
Sponsor Announcer
Oh, the girl.
- [33:33]
Victoria Monet
The girl.
- [33:34]
Sponsor Announcer
Really?
- [33:34]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [33:35]
Co-host
I would. This. This is not ever something I've ever explored, but I would always imagine that girls would be easier to marry.
- [33:41]
Victoria Monet
Worse.
- [33:42]
Sponsor Announcer
Really?
- [33:43]
Victoria Monet
My experience has been they're put worse. Yeah.
- [33:46]
Co-host
How so? Maybe just bad picking.
- [33:50]
Victoria Monet
Maybe. Yeah, maybe it's that. But also, like, girls, they don't really approach me seriously. They approach me like. Like, sensually. And I'm like, well, I would want it to be something more serious. And I haven't really gotten that approach from many women. They're just like, oh, she's beautiful. She's attractive, or, like, talking about my body and stuff.
- [34:12]
Co-host
So, yeah, it's a. It's like a sexual thing.
- [34:15]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. So maybe they don't take me seriously, but when I think of my next relationship, I've been in a space where I. I want because I'm. I'm feeling so feminine. Like, I want the opposite energy. And I'm feeling like a masculine. Or maybe it's a masculine woman.
- [34:32]
Co-host
Yeah.
- [34:32]
Victoria Monet
I'm not sure. I've never really tried that. The women that I've dated are, like, have been, like, sexy, too. Yeah. A little bit femme. A little bit more like, in the middle or more femme than masculine. But I also think about children and just, like, be thrown against the wall. So I'm so weak. I'm feminine, like this masculine figure. So in my head, I think it might be a guy.
- [35:01]
Co-host
Yeah. That's where you're at right now.
- [35:03]
Victoria Monet
Right now.
- [35:03]
Co-host
I would say, because you have. Because you're open, that you have so many more options than some. Than somebody who just dates, you know,
- [35:12]
Victoria Monet
a man or a woman. You would think.
- [35:13]
Co-host
I think that you would have so many more options because you're open to more.
- [35:18]
Victoria Monet
You would think, but not really. Like, they're. The ladies aren't. They're not aggressive with me or approaching me in A serious way.
- [35:27]
Co-host
It's more just, you know what's gonna happen now because you've said this out loud now.
- [35:30]
Victoria Monet
My DMs are gonna be lit with women. I am.
- [35:33]
Co-host
They're gonna be like, sis, I don't know what you had before. I'm a different kind of woman. You're about to get all that type of talk.
- [35:37]
Victoria Monet
Hey, hello, I'm single. So the options are, do you like
- [35:41]
Co-host
being single or is like love and finding a partner and somebody like to kind of navigate this really important to you?
- [35:47]
Victoria Monet
I'm such a lover girl. And I think maybe that might be the caveat about me is because when I'm in a relationship, it's. I'm all about that person. I'm all about being of service and helping them make their life better and, you know, surprises and like, I get a little bit distracted. The butterfly lands on the wrong flower, like, then stays. It just stays there.
- [36:13]
Co-host
So you're one of those girls.
- [36:14]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [36:15]
Co-host
It'll take you off your focus a little bit. Yeah, for sure. So maybe that's why you don't have it yet.
- [36:20]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. I think this season is really about the growth that I need to do to focus and focusing on my tasks because maybe that's one of the reasons why things took a little bit longer because I've been in really long relationships, like six year relationship, three year relationship, four year relationship, always. So it might be best for now.
- [36:40]
Co-host
When was the last time you've had a stretch of being single?
- [36:45]
Victoria Monet
Before Hazel.
- [36:46]
Co-host
Wow.
- [36:47]
Victoria Monet
And I think that was maybe like two years, three years in between, but. Yeah, before Hazel.
- [36:55]
Co-host
So you may need this time.
- [36:57]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, I mean, it's already been two and a half years that I'm single now.
- [37:01]
Co-host
Yeah, but you're doing work on yourself.
- [37:02]
Victoria Monet
I'm doing pretty good.
- [37:03]
Co-host
You being a mom. Your daughter's gorgeous.
- [37:05]
Victoria Monet
Thank you.
- [37:07]
Co-host
How's parent? How's co parenting going? Like a dream.
- [37:11]
Victoria Monet
It's so easy, which is I'm like, it's not other people's experience. So I'm so thankful to have a co parent that really understands and we're not spiteful, picking up the slack. At first it was a bit difficult because, you know, there was still that attachment there and still feelings. But as we grew, we made a commitment that, like, no matter what, Hazel will not see any negativity. We're not going to put our business online. We're not going to argue. There's going to be a tone in which we talk to each other with respect. We're going to Be compromising. So if he needs something on his schedule that I have to compensate for, we do that and vice versa. Like, it's been really great. So I'm really lucky. Really lucky.
- [37:58]
Co-host
Yeah. And you split it up. We just had Emma Green on the pod, right?
- [38:03]
Victoria Monet
Oh, she's great.
- [38:04]
Co-host
Yeah. She's super dope, super smart. But interesting thing about her and her marriage, because she's married to her business. Like her business partner.
- [38:10]
Victoria Monet
Oh, I didn't know that.
- [38:11]
Co-host
Yeah. He's brilliant businessman, too. And we were talking about the roles of mother and father. There's, like, things that people expect. Just. It's not a 50, 50 thing.
- [38:24]
Victoria Monet
No.
- [38:24]
Co-host
You know, and it's not expected to be a 5050 thing, which is why she's, like, raising eyebrows and rubbing people the wrong way. Because she's like, no, it's a 5050 thing. Like, she requires that of her husband.
- [38:36]
Victoria Monet
Got it.
- [38:36]
Co-host
And he does it like he wants to. Do they. They have that relationship where it's like, he does actually half of the parenting.
- [38:44]
Victoria Monet
Okay.
- [38:45]
Co-host
And she does half of the parenting okay. Could you imagine that?
- [38:49]
Victoria Monet
I mean. I mean, that works for them. If that works for them, that's great. I feel like with scheduling and with, you know, I don't know. I don't know how I would technically divide it evenly.
- [39:00]
Co-host
Well, they're in the same house. It probably makes it easier.
- [39:01]
Victoria Monet
Got it.
- [39:02]
Co-host
Co parenting is different, I guess, in different houses.
- [39:04]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [39:04]
Sponsor Announcer
But just the idea of that.
- [39:05]
Co-host
What's expected, really, of women and mothers, and I think we kind of also. We want it that way. Right.
- [39:13]
Victoria Monet
You mean to have more responsibility?
- [39:15]
Co-host
It's just the mother is like. Yeah. There's a certain thing that moms. They're like, usually. God, I don't want to be disrespectful to all the amazing qualities out there. I'm just saying a lot of things fall on us.
- [39:29]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [39:30]
Co-host
Just by nature. Yeah. By nature. Yeah. When it comes to parenting, I feel
- [39:35]
Victoria Monet
like I'm like, the way that we're co parenting, I'm in the new school wave because I don't feel like. I mean, he does her hair when she's at his house. It's like, you would think there are certain things that he has to do 100% while she's there, and I do 100% while she's with me. So in a way, we're both 100.
- [40:02]
Co-host
Yeah. That's great.
- [40:02]
Victoria Monet
I guess, just depending on whose house she's at. But I'm kind of wondering what she'll feel as she Grows up. Because right now it feels like she's like, oh, I have two of everything. I have two houses. Like, she's kind of in that phase. And I wonder when she's gonna be like, I think you guys are supposed to be in one place, like, more observant.
- [40:23]
Co-host
Maybe she will.
- [40:24]
Victoria Monet
Maybe. Maybe this is. And I hope it's just like, it's normal for her. It just becomes part of her life and that she doesn't feel like she doesn't have any one place to ground. It's almost like she's always with a. With a go bag, you know, Like, I'm. I'm trying to think about that as well.
- [40:39]
Co-host
Yeah.
- [40:41]
Victoria Monet
So I don't know.
- [40:42]
Co-host
None of us could get it a hundred percent right. And then you think you get it right, and then your kid goes up and it's like. You know what really bothered me when I was a kid? You know, saying, like, my mother was amazing. I still had to go to therapy.
- [40:56]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [40:56]
Co-host
My mother was. My mother is like the most morally grounded, human loving human being, and I still had to go to therapy. So it's like, it's just complicated. We just do our best. Yeah, we just. We just do our best.
- [41:10]
Victoria Monet
It's almost like it's. It's relative. Like, if. If in this house, losing. Losing a dollar is detrimental. In this house, losing $5 is detrimental. But the feeling is the same. Like, the amount of trauma or whatever it was maybe wasn't the same int. You felt the same.
- [41:36]
Co-host
Yeah.
- [41:37]
Victoria Monet
And maybe that's a point of all of us to just. You get gifted the parents that you need in order to, you know, transport you to the life you want to have. So. Or gives you the parents that. Or gives you the children that you need to fix certain flaws. Or give you patience, if that's what you needed. Or give you more understanding, give you more communication skills. Like, you're partnered up, parent and child, with exactly what it is you need in order to fix or be better for the school of life. Basically, that's.
- [42:15]
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
- [42:25]
Victoria Monet
Hey, everyone.
- [42:26]
Co-host
Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?
- [42:29]
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
Oh, no. We help people customize and sell save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
- [42:35]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
- [42:37]
Liberty Mutual Spokesperson
Anyways, get a'@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
- [42:40]
Co-host
Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.
- [43:31]
Spanish Language Promo Announcer
Tequila Escucha Central Las reinas de quince Como parte de my cultura podcast network. Enla Abe. The iHeartRadio Apple Podcasts or Dondese que estus Podcasts.
- [43:43]
Co-host
Pretty good.
- [43:44]
Victoria Monet
Think about it.
- [43:44]
Co-host
What have you learned from your daughter?
- [43:46]
Victoria Monet
Ooh, patience for sure. Patience. Because that's. She's so funny and she's great, but she has a mouth on her. She be talking crazy sometimes. So I have to breathe.
- [43:59]
Co-host
Breath work. That breath work just starts to turn for you.
- [44:03]
Victoria Monet
Yes.
- [44:03]
Co-host
I'm really excited for you to. This tour feels like it's gonna be a really big deal, right?
- [44:08]
Victoria Monet
I'm screaming about it. I'm screaming about it. I literally just went to go see the show in Vegas. Was it last weekend? I think it was this past weekend.
- [44:17]
Co-host
Bruno was in Vegas?
- [44:18]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. His opening night was on Friday. So I went to the second show and so I got to see DJ Peewee Leon Thomas and then Bruno also. Just getting a scope of what it's going to look like when I go. So it was fun, but also market research. And I was like, oh, shit, this is crazy.
- [44:35]
Co-host
Does that excite you and scare you or motivate you?
- [44:38]
Victoria Monet
It definitely make. It's like I am the fire horse. There's like a whip that makes me go. Go faster. It's like I want to make sure that I'm fully prepared and. And just, you know, I've prepared technically my whole life for these moments, but especially now. Just keeping in mind the environment that I'm gonna be in and the gift that it is to be able to be on that stage. And the gratitude. Go operate on the stage with that gratitude. But also just don't take it for granted or just take advantage of the opportunity and work really hard. Go kill it. Yeah. So maybe the clouds need to come back out for just the rehearsals for tours.
- [45:19]
Co-host
How did that happen? Did you know Bruno or was it the team? Did he ask for you?
- [45:23]
Victoria Monet
I think I wanna say he asked. They didn't tell me how I was presented to him, but in 2020, I did this performance when I was. I was like four months pregnant. I had this sparkly green jacket hiding my pregnancy belly. And we couldn't perform out in the world cause of quarantine. So I recorded a live performance of my song and I put it online saying I'd love to open up for Silk Sonic. That's what they were doing at the time, radio silence. I think they maybe liked it or something. But, like, no one was like, yeah, Come. Come to our Vegas residency or come on tour with us or any of that. Lo and behold, five years later is when I got the call.
- [46:05]
Co-host
So were you, like, manifesting this moment?
- [46:07]
Victoria Monet
I believe so. It seems to be that when I write something down and I think about it and I want it bad enough, it may not happen that day or that year, but eventually it just.
- [46:18]
Co-host
Wait a minute, ends up coming. You do this full performance with the idea that I want to open for Bruno and Silk, Sonic. And so that's a manifestation number. Like you're putting yourself, like, if you build it, it will come. There's really something to that.
- [46:36]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. Very Noah's ark.
- [46:39]
Co-host
Built the ark.
- [46:39]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. I mean, I've always been inspired by Bruno. I was signed to Atlantic at one point and he was there and I noticed how he had this song with Bob and called Beautiful Girls and he was on the hook. And right after that, he went into his own career and was killing it. And I thought to myself, why don't you try that, Victoria? Just do a little bit of what he did and see if you can do the same thing. So for a while I was just writing hooks and sending them to Atlantic. They have a long roster of rappers. So I was like, maybe I could be. Take that path. Like, have a rap song, you know, blow up and then be on the hook. Yeah, be on the hook. And then that would lead to my own singles, which is how I ended up being on songs with Nas and TI and riding with Meek Mill. Like, I just became the hook. Rap, rap, hook girl for a sec. So I appreciate that for sure, but just. Just reminded me that, like, your ideas, you just may take some time for them to come to fruition. Just like a seed. Like when you plant a seed, you don't see what's going on, but there's a lot going on under the soil. You don't see it till it's above the soil. And so these moments, like me going on tour with Bruno feels like, oh, I'm out of the soil.
- [47:53]
Co-host
Oh, you're out of the soil.
- [47:54]
Victoria Monet
Out of the soil on this one. Yeah. The seed was planted in 2020.
- [47:57]
Co-host
Yeah. You know, you really are a woo woo girl, maybe, right? I think you need to fully embrace this. You've meditated a Bruno Mars tour. You know what I'm saying? You just changed your whole animal. You went from a jaguar to a butterfly in the past year. You really might be a woo woo girl.
- [48:16]
Victoria Monet
You know what, low key, I think
- [48:18]
Co-host
you're manifesting also this next relationship that you're about to be in right now.
- [48:22]
Victoria Monet
I hope so. I hope so.
- [48:24]
Co-host
You're doing that right now. You're in the season of, like, planting those little seeds.
- [48:28]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. Yeah.
- [48:29]
Co-host
That'll be fun to see when that. When that blooms.
- [48:31]
Victoria Monet
That's interesting, because I do, like. I feel like it's happening music musically as well, because my next single is called Single, and it basically just says I'm singing. It's like a single, like another anthem. Summoning. You are.
- [48:48]
Co-host
You're. It's. It's gonna come in a wave.
- [48:50]
Victoria Monet
I'm gonna call you immediately.
- [48:52]
Co-host
Like, you have my number now. So I really want you to. I really want to know. I really want updates on that.
- [48:58]
Victoria Monet
Yes. Yeah.
- [48:59]
Co-host
Speaking of singles, let's just looking at some of the lyrics of this single.
- [49:03]
Victoria Monet
Huh?
- [49:03]
Co-host
Where did I do with that card? We had a card of your lyrics. So some of the lyrics on your. Let me. Let me be your ride or die.
- [49:11]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [49:12]
Co-host
Let me love you back to life. Let me give you peace of mind. Ride or die is a triggering term for me.
- [49:22]
Victoria Monet
Is it?
- [49:23]
Co-host
It comes up on the pod we had DMX's wife Teshira on.
- [49:27]
Victoria Monet
Okay.
- [49:28]
Co-host
And we were talking about Ride or Die.
- [49:30]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [49:30]
Sponsor Announcer
Is ride or die.
- [49:32]
Co-host
What does it mean to you? First of all, what does ride or die mean to you? Because, you know, depending on what we're working with, ride or Die could be toxic and traumatizing.
- [49:43]
Victoria Monet
That's true. But I guess it depends on who you're singing it to, which you should have the choice in.
- [49:48]
Co-host
Yeah, of course.
- [49:49]
Victoria Monet
So I don't think you should be dying for real, like, no, we don't want to die.
- [49:54]
Co-host
This is poetry, guys.
- [49:55]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [49:55]
Co-host
Please.
- [49:56]
Victoria Monet
Please don't get out there dying. But just for me. It means if you tell me your flaws or you're exposing some things that you feel like you're insecure about and your vulnerabilities. And I'll still ride for you. And I can handle those things, is what I'm saying. I don't mean if you're wrong, we're wrong together, and we're all on the sword together. Like, we're not riding into the sunset on that vibe. It's more so just like, I got you. I got you. You're gonna like me, go through so many phases of yourself. I don't expect you to be the same person you were five years ago. And if you can't maintain one of the qualities that I like, I'll tell. We can have that conversation. But it doesn't mean that I'M leaving you. You know, I understand. And I'm giving you the freedom and the space to make your changes. And I'm gonna ride for you as long as it feels. You know, we're talking about still being respectful. We're talking still. I'm not saying, like, go ahead and cheat and I'm gonna still be here. Like, not any of those toxic traits, but more so just making sure that people know that because they're imperfect doesn't mean that they don't deserve love. Love. Yeah.
- [51:09]
Co-host
Aw, you're such a little poet.
- [51:11]
Victoria Monet
I'm a lover girl. Look, it just gives very poet vibes.
- [51:14]
Co-host
Right now you got your poet hat on. You're doing your woo woo out here, doing your breath work.
- [51:19]
Victoria Monet
I need to go talk to Erykah Badu. Honestly, I'm like, so, what's next? What do we do?
- [51:23]
Co-host
Yeah, what do I go from here? How do I do this?
- [51:26]
Sponsor Announcer
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Co-host
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Co-host
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Co-host
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- [52:17]
Co-host
Should we do our bowl or our voice note first?
- [52:20]
Sponsor Announcer
So we have a segment.
- [52:21]
Co-host
Is our voice note segment okay? Listener or fan of the podcast, either a question or a comment for you?
- [52:26]
Victoria Monet
Okay.
- [52:27]
Co-host
Okay, let's have it.
- [52:32]
Victoria Monet
Oh.
- [52:33]
Co-host
Oh, yeah.
- [52:35]
Listener Caller
My name is David. I'm from New Jersey. One of my favorite songs of yours is experience with you and Khalid and S.G. lewis. Would you ever do an album based on that type of music? You know, like Calvin Harris disclosure, Zed something along with the EDM lines. I love how you're able to experiment with all these different genres and you're still very much used to and you're authentic and you just make so good music. Like, I just want to dance and, you know, like, would you ever tap into that? And I can't wait to see you open for Bruno Mars. I'm going international. Like, I bought my ticket already. I'm so excited. Thank you so much.
- [53:11]
Co-host
Aw. So sweet.
- [53:12]
Victoria Monet
So sweet. He said his name was Daniel, right? David. David. David. Hey, David. He said uptempos. Would you ever do a project of up to both? And the answer is yes. I wanted to do a project with Kaytranada, actually.
- [53:26]
Co-host
Oh, wow.
- [53:26]
Victoria Monet
D Mile and Kaytranada think that's off the table. I would love to do that. I think that music is so fun to me.
- [53:35]
Co-host
And then you can perform it.
- [53:37]
Victoria Monet
Perform it. Yeah. Like, I definitely also see the crowds and, like, a Coachella space and, like, those. Those types of vibes and energy would feel really good on that type of stage. So, yes, I would love to do a project like that. And also with a DJ like Calvin Harris or anybody, you know, upcoming up and coming. Like, absolutely, for sure.
- [54:02]
Co-host
Okay. In real life. Questions?
- [54:03]
Sponsor Announcer
Ready?
- [54:04]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [54:04]
Sponsor Announcer
In real life, what are you most
- [54:06]
Co-host
proud of about yourself?
- [54:11]
Victoria Monet
I really think for the past year, I think my transformation, but, like, I've grown up, like, in so many ways, and it's been really tough, and a lot of it I did without the validation or praise from other people because it was behind closed doors. So that makes things a little bit tougher. When you don't have that dopamine or encouragement right away. It's delayed gratification, which we are so trained to have. Immediately come, like my photo today. See me today. Yeah. So to have that delay really taught me a lot about myself and the fact that I really want what I want, and I will go through those dark moments alone or with my team, too. Get there.
- [54:54]
Co-host
What was the darkness, though? Like, what was the. What was. I mean, that you want to share? I don't know if it's something you want to share.
- [55:00]
Victoria Monet
Yeah, I think last year. Last year, I had a really tough transition on my team, with management and with my agent, and then I also felt unprepared for the next chapter. I felt lots of pressure musically because I didn't feel like I had the right body of work to give to people, but they wanted it now. The label was like, there's, like, a lull in time, and you're losing momentum. You're getting older. Like, all of these really negative thoughts that don't belong to me were coming, and I just felt really down. And after the Grammy win, the way that people celebrate you as an underdog and the moment you win, switch is really alarming. It's like, oh, oh, so you don't want me to be here? You don't want to be. Want me to be successful? Because it's only great until you actually get it to some people. And I'm sure I'm seeing it's not the same person tweeting that back to back. But, like, the energy that came towards me was like, so why does she get the Grammy? And she's not even a new artist, and so she doesn't have any hit songs. Like, all of these little thoughts that were coming to me that people you
- [56:12]
Co-host
were letting inside, I was letting them
- [56:13]
Victoria Monet
in and I was carrying it. And even the way that I was talking to myself or the pressure I was putting on myself, you could probably see it in my eyes that I was, like, feeling defeated.
- [56:23]
Co-host
I hate that for you.
- [56:24]
Victoria Monet
It was like that. So I think just. Even making a rash decision. I don't even know if the word rash is right, because I don't know what that means, honestly. But making the random decision to go to culinary school and do something that doesn't pay me or something that doesn't identify, like, I get out of that. That rat race that you're in, that imaginary pressure that you're applying to yourself, and you realize, oh, you're still a great. And even. Even if you didn't do not one more, so you could still do so many other things. Like, you've climbed the top of that mountain and you got to the place that you wanted to be. Now you can start at the bottom of a whole other mountain that has nothing to do with any of that and climb to the top of that, and you can do that a million times over. And it doesn't all have to be contrived and connected. And, like, you only stand on this. You're only a legend if you keep going on this mountain. You know what I mean? So that really helped me heal, and the shift was necessary. So I think that's what led me to this.
- [57:22]
Co-host
That also is like, you.
- [57:23]
Listener Caller
You.
- [57:23]
Co-host
Your whole life, you wanted to do this.
- [57:25]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [57:26]
Co-host
Since you're a kid, you're preparing for it. You get this moment. It happens. It doesn't happen fast. You were working a long time, but you have this. This explosion.
- [57:35]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [57:35]
Co-host
Explosion of a year. And then that's so sad that the other side of that was, I don't know, just disappointment in a way. Right?
- [57:46]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. Yeah. It was just a really crazy juxtaposition of this high that you feel like, oh, my God, it finally happened. But then also paired with the expectations of how to keep it, how to maintain it, why you deserved it. Like all of that comes, which you try your best to like ignore, but you, like, sometimes you can't.
- [58:11]
Co-host
Yeah. Well. But also that now that makes sense why you needed to be spiritually grounded.
- [58:16]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [58:17]
Co-host
So that you could process all of that. All of that.
- [58:20]
Victoria Monet
Yeah.
- [58:20]
Co-host
Because it might have hit you differently had you done this work before that moment. You might have been able to withstand some of that noise a little better, I think so.
- [58:28]
Victoria Monet
I didn't have any practice. Like, there was no practice. I wasn't. The only practice I knew is studio and work and grind and just don't sleep. That was my practice. And so now paired with the other modalities, I feel like I could. The next round. I think I got this.
- [58:46]
Co-host
You about to sing. You got this.
- [58:47]
Sponsor Announcer
Is that the goal?
- [58:48]
Co-host
Like getting back on that on the mountaintop?
- [58:53]
Victoria Monet
Oh, a hundred percent. One hundred percent. But I think it's paired with trying to do that while climbing other mountains as well. So that my, my value is not predicated on just one set of goals. You know, I'm still a great friend. I'm still a great mom. I'm still a great chef. I'm still a great Tai chi student. I'm still great in the gym. Like, all of these things will add up to be a well rounded human.
- [59:22]
Co-host
You're setting off sirens.
- [59:24]
Victoria Monet
Only in New York.
- [59:24]
Co-host
Only in New York. You're setting off the sirens. I love that for you. You.
- [59:30]
Victoria Monet
Thank you.
- [59:31]
Co-host
Yeah. Good for you. That means the mountain's about to be bigger. What is on your bucket list that you have to check that you haven't done yet? What in real life, what is something that you would like to accomplish?
- [59:41]
Victoria Monet
Honestly, I want to go to Bali. Sounds like really accomplishment. But I'm trying to get over there.
- [59:46]
Co-host
It's so peaceful. Well, you're so. Woo woo. You need to go there. You need to go there.
- [59:53]
Victoria Monet
Yes.
- [59:55]
Co-host
In real life, what is something you are no longer available for? Ooh,
- [60:07]
Victoria Monet
I definitely am no longer available for negative news. I think sometimes we share tea or like just random headlines that just like, we'll just, we'll just repeat it and say it to our friends. But. But why do we do that?
- [60:24]
Co-host
Yeah.
- [60:25]
Victoria Monet
Like what response are you trying to get out of the other person? Like, what do you need to relate to? And so I'm trying to do less of allowing that there's also energy.
- [60:36]
Co-host
Yeah. What energy you're allowing in your space.
- [60:38]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. Because what's the purpose like, we want to talk about positive things. We want to be so far away from anything negative that it doesn't even pass our mind because we're just not tuned into that station. Oh, I don't even know anything about that because. Because I'm so here with it. So a lot less of just, like, the trauma announcements, like this, what's going on, the fear mongering and all that stuff.
- [61:02]
Co-host
Good vibes only. Yeah, you all protected and moved up. You need to protect that energy. That's right.
- [61:08]
Sponsor Announcer
Hey, guys. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want and I could really make a difference? Well, you are not alone. And this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge, the skills, and everything you need to build the future that you want. And you can make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to Waldenu. Edu and take that first step. Walden University set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shiv. All right, guys, it is time for the Walden University bowl of IRL questions.
- [61:58]
Co-host
What does it say?
- [61:58]
Victoria Monet
If God were to text you right now, what would you say? What would it say?
- [62:03]
Co-host
Oh, I love. This is my favorite question in the bowl. Usually, if people don't get it, I ask it anyway, so I'm so happy you got it.
- [62:09]
Victoria Monet
If God were to text you right now, what would it say? I think it would say, I've been here all along, and I'm still here, and I'll always be here. If ever you feel confused, listen closer to me. If ever you feel misguided, follow my life. Make sure you say my name. Though probably, I think he would say that. Or she. I think they would say that.
- [62:52]
Co-host
She's such a writer. You're so good with words.
- [62:55]
Victoria Monet
Thank you.
- [62:55]
Co-host
That was beautiful.
- [62:56]
Victoria Monet
Thank you.
- [62:57]
Co-host
I just feel like that question is so. I don't know, it just goes right to your soul. Oh.
- [63:02]
Victoria Monet
Literally, that when I read it, I was like, don't cry. Don't cry.
- [63:06]
Co-host
Yeah, I felt that in you. But when people answer it, I feel the genuineness of that.
- [63:10]
Victoria Monet
Yeah. Like you just read the name God and you're like, yeah. Because I think. I mean, just where we are. He doesn't or she doesn't. They don't get mentioned as much as they should. And there's lots of negative energies that try to take you away from that. So just hear it and be able to have the platform to talk about it. It's like, thank you. That's really nice. Victoria Monet. Yay. What's up, you guys? This is Victoria Mon DNA in real life.
- [63:44]
Sponsor Announcer
Hey, guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comment and check out all of the other episodes we have on Angel Martinez IRL Podcast,
- [64:22]
Spanish Language Promo Announcer
Iheartradio, Apple Podcasts. Odon de Sea Que escuches podcasts.
- [64:27]
Victoria Monet
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.