Bill Burr ROASTS Fat Joe + talks Eddie Murphy tribute, ‘The Social Reckoning’ & Jada’s viral Drink Champs story

Summary

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Joe and Jada – Bill Burr ROASTS Fat Joe + talks Eddie Murphy tribute, ‘The Social Reckoning’ & Jada’s viral Drink Champs story

iHeartPodcasts and The Volume, May 5, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this energetic and hilarious episode of the Joe and Jada Show, hip-hop icons Fat Joe (Joe Cracker Dawn) and Jadakiss welcome legendary comedian Bill Burr. The trio dives deep into Bill’s unfiltered take on fame, loyalty, family, criminality, addiction, and therapy. They riff on Burr's upcoming projects (including a major role in Aaron Sorkin's "The Social Reckoning"), the art of podcasting and authenticity, Burr’s recent Eddie Murphy tribute, and viral moments from their storied careers. With relentless roast jokes, side stories, and tangential wisdom, this episode is packed with laughs and real talk.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Art of the Podcast & Staying Authentic

Timestamps: 02:43 – 08:03

• Podcasting styles: Bill contrasts his stripped-down, solo podcast approach ("just a mic plugged into my phone, I do it wherever") against the glossier setups of big-name shows.
• Burr resists corporate stipulations, preferring creative freedom:
  • “I wanted it to be like underground... whatever I say, I say, and I don’t edit it.” (06:17, Bill Burr)
• Joe brags about sponsor perks (shoes, gear) coming with bigger deals but admits to the pressure and restrictions.

2. Family, Loyalty, and Tough Love

Timestamps: 09:00 – 14:49

• Joe talks about his nephew “squatting” in his apartment, venting about the burdens of supporting family and the guilt of letting go.
• Bill offers advice:
  • "If you’re reaching up, I’ll try to pull you out. But if you’re face down, digging it deeper, I’m not helping you out." (11:07, Bill Burr)
• The conversation turns to the difficulties of family boundaries, loyalty, and enabling bad behavior.
• Memorable moment: Bill jokes about handling family trouble ("You're not allowed to beat the shit out of your family member. Is that some loophole?" 10:15)

3. Processing Trauma & Growth

Timestamps: 14:16 – 16:27

• Bill describes overcoming his anger, crediting acting for unlocking old emotions:
  • “You had to lock away 99% of your emotions... when I act... those feelings come out.” (15:00, Bill Burr)
• Admits he's now happier and his wife is “not sure whether to trust it yet.”

4. The Comedy of Life: Knick Fans, Sports Loyalty, and White Spaces

Timestamps: 17:36 – 23:00

• Joe and Bill joke about the eternal misery of being a Knicks fan.
• Joe rants about discovering tennis and hockey as "elite" white-dominated experiences hidden from the Black community:
  • "The white people never told us... I went to a hockey game... it was the most lit, fun shit.” (19:55, Joe)
  • Bill counters: “Tennis is not even for all white people... It’s for the elite.” (20:16)
• The cultural translation of sports passion becomes a running gag.

5. Addiction, Criminality, and the Social Reckoning

Timestamps: 29:10 – 41:55

• Joe asks Burr about his addiction ("It was booze"), then discusses drug decriminalization policies in Vancouver, fentanyl, and America’s “zombie” problem.
• Both critique the criminal justice system:
  • “All the smart mobsters went legal... they do all that shit, just legally.” (32:22, Bill Burr)
• The conversation transitions to Burr’s upcoming Aaron Sorkin film, “The Social Reckoning”:
  • “It’s not a sequel to Social Network. It’s more about the results of social media.” (40:55, Bill Burr)

6. Viral Stories & Groupies in the Industry

Timestamps: 36:31 – 40:49

• Bill and Joe reference viral comedian moments—including Jada's “dap story"—and the strange persistence of “industry” groupies.
• Joe reminisces: "The same groupies from Fat Joe and Big Pun in 1997 are in A Boogie's room!" (38:08, Joe)

7. Eddie Murphy’s AFI Tribute – “The Comedy Kennedy Family”

Timestamps: 61:03 – 64:44

• Bill recalls the honor and intimidation of being asked last-minute to speak at Eddie Murphy’s AFI tribute:
  • “He had this mixed crowd... He was making everybody laugh. And that’s what I always wanted to do.” (63:34, Bill Burr)
• Joe notes how rare it is to see an entertainer like Eddie “make it through” without self-destruction:
  • “What I love about Eddie Murphy... he didn’t get high. He’s in a $90 million house!” (64:00, Joe)
• Bill: “He goes, ‘I loved myself’—which I’ve never heard a comedian say.”

8. Therapy, Healing, and the Gangster-to-Comedian Pipeline

Timestamps: 64:44 – 66:59

• Discussing why comedians joke about pain—“It’s a way of not feeling the feeling.”
• Joe on shifting from criminal code to sharing stories publicly:
  • “There was a time, Bill, where I used to say, yo, no pictures…We ain't gotta live up to the shit [now]; we could just be funny.” (50:20, Joe)
• Reference to "Analyze This": Everyone loves a funny gangster (50:52, Joe).

9. Roasting Each Other & The Freewheeling Dynamic

Timestamps: Throughout

• Bill relentlessly teases Joe:
  • “You got too many stipulations in your life and you’re wearing it on your face.” (33:54, Bill Burr)
  • “You are dressed like it’s Sunday morning... You look like you just had some cereal.” (34:05, Bill Burr)
• Joe owns the chaos: “It just always lands. It’s like the Artemis…Passengers might not be there when you land, but you definitely land.” (40:23, Joe)
• The conversational style is full-contact, hilarious, and chaotic:
  • Bill: “I’ve been trying to talk to you... I don’t know where to jump in!” (73:23)

10. Sports: Baseball, Tanking, And Shohei Ohtani

Timestamps: 74:08 – 77:20

• Bill weighs in on hockey and baseball:
  • “The best first round [of NHL playoffs] has been Canadiens vs. Tampa Bay Lightning.” (74:31)
• Discussion of tanking in sports and revenue-sharing loopholes.
• Joe raves about Dodgers’ Shohei Ohtani: “He’ll pitch a game, hit a home run a game, play the outfield—better than Babe Ruth!” (76:44)

11. Cultural Crossover, Fame, and Fan Encounters

Timestamps: 77:33 – end

• Bill and Joe celebrate moments of cross-cultural recognition, from the hood to Morocco to Kazakhstan.
• Bill: “One of the best things as a performer is when someone as different as you could be comes up and says they like your stuff.” (78:46)
• Joe: “Certain white people don’t know they’re cool in the hood like that.” (78:20)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On loyalty:
  “I done paid for 200 funerals…they all end up pieces of shits…because of loyalty, huh?” (11:23, Joe)
• On processing emotions through acting:
  “I kind of opened the door. So now I can feel all the emotions and have options, rather than flipping out, laughing, or saying I don’t give a fuck.” (15:13, Bill Burr)
• On fame and groupies:
  “The same groupies from Fat Joe and Big Pun in 1997 are in A Boogie's room!” (38:08, Joe)
• On Eddie Murphy’s influence:
  “He was making everybody laugh…I would want to make everybody laugh. That was one of the best lessons I ever got.” (63:34, Bill Burr)
• On comedy and pain:
  “You use humor…to deny feelings, and that can become difficult for you and the people in your life.” (65:15, Bill Burr)
• On podcast chaos:
  “It just always lands. It’s like the Artemis…Passengers might not be there when you land, but you definitely land.” (40:25, Joe)
• On interpodcast rivalry:
  “These other podcasts, they look like dinosaurs right now!...I want beef with everybody.” (72:19/72:32, Joe)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | | --- | --- | | Bill’s “above the garage” podcasting style | 05:36–08:09 | | Joe on loyalty and family headaches | 09:13–12:52 | | Bill’s evolution out of anger | 14:26–16:11 | | White spaces: discovering tennis/hockey | 19:00–20:17 | | Skid row, addiction, criminality | 29:35–32:41 | | On “The Social Reckoning” (Aaron Sorkin movie) | 40:49–41:55 | | Comedy groupies and viral dap story | 36:31–40:23 | | Eddie Murphy tribute story | 61:03–64:44 | | Growing up “no pics, no stories” in rap | 49:43–50:52 | | Roasting/chaos re: storytelling | 33:31–34:47, 73:03–73:23 | | NBA, MLB, Shohei Ohtani discussion | 74:08–77:20 |

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Tone & Style

• Raw, unfiltered, and wild—everyone interrupts, stories meander, and every heavy moment is followed by a roast.
• Bill Burr brings relentless wit and a self-deprecating honesty, never afraid to poke fun at his hosts or himself.
• Joe and Jada sprinkle in legendary industry stories, cultural commentary, and authentic NY energy.

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In Summary

This episode is a raucous, honest, and heartfelt blend of street wisdom, comedic insight, and pop culture chops. Bill Burr is both the conscience and the class clown, while Fat Joe and Jada keep it 100 with real-life stories about fame, family, and survival. If you’ve ever wanted to hear icons wrestle with loyalty, legacy, the price of success, and what it means to keep it real in a world full of “stipulations”—this episode delivers, with more laughs than you’ll find anywhere else.

Transcript

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[Bill Burr]

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[Joe Cracker Dawn]

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[Joe Cracker Dawn]

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[Joe Cracker Dawn]

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[Bill Burr]

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[Jada]

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[Amazon Narrator/Ad Voice]

Amazon presents Jamal versus the Shih Tzu.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Descending from the gray wolf, Shih Tzus

[Amazon Narrator/Ad Voice]

live by their own untamed primal code

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

of not giving a single Shih tzu.

[Amazon Narrator/Ad Voice]

But Jamal shopped on Amazon and bought dog treats, chew toys, and 32 ounces of carpet cleaner.

[Bill Burr]

Hey, Jamal, you've been promoted to pack leader.

[Amazon Narrator/Ad Voice]

Save the everyday with Amazon.

[Bill Burr]

Dude, you are a character, man. No, you are a fucking character. You are. You're not even trying, and you just are listening.

[Jada]

Insane.

[Bill Burr]

It's like a tick. He can't say something if he said you grew up in a loud house. Listen, let me tell you something.

[Jada]

I got.

[Bill Burr]

Hey, Joe has something to say.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah, yeah. What up, y'? All? Freedom of speech. This is Joe Cracker Dawn. Let's get to it, baby.

[Jada]

It's your boy, Jada. You know what it is? The Joe and Jada Show. Every show legendary. Every show iconic. And we got the pressure on. Today's show is very iconic. When you think of today's guest. They wrote this in Kalig it feature

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

parted my squinting eyes.

[Bill Burr]

I like that I'm a legend, but he's got to read what I did.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Get it right.

[Jada]

I want it in.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yo, you want to get it right?

[Jada]

We the one take, guys.

[Bill Burr]

All right?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

We're going to lie to you. His intros. We let. Let him go.

[Bill Burr]

All right?

[Jada]

Let me tell you, we're not going

[Bill Burr]

to throw a flag out y'. All.

[Jada]

You're going to be impressed. The one thing I can say is

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

he give a hell of an intro to.

[Jada]

Let me give you the back. Let him go, give you your flower.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Let him set you up right.

[Jada]

He's one take. Do everything. One take. Over here we got this new deal with Netflix. There's a lot of stipulations and rules and I mean, so if I just give my bill burden. They're gonna call back. We gotta do some read overs and take this out and, you know, stipulations. Yeah.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Okay, let's see if you can read this.

[Jada]

I can definitely read it.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

No, I mean, like, you can't read. I mean, your eyes, brother.

[Jada]

My eyes ain't like your leg.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Okay?

[Jada]

When you think it's wrong with this leg?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Don't listen to this guy. This working.

[Bill Burr]

He had polio.

[Jada]

He got it.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I ain't got my leg.

[Jada]

That cap right there.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Look at my sin. My sin is in the lloyd's in London. It's invested in the Lloyds in London.

[Bill Burr]

Would you blow out your Achilles?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

No, I don't.

[Jada]

He blew out his calf and a little bit up.

[Bill Burr]

Not even doing sports, huh? Doing sports or just rapping, dodging bullets, jumping over camels?

[Jada]

When you think of today's guest, you think of a man who built himself from nothing. No gimmicks, no safety net. Just raw truth and the balls to say what everybody else is thinking. A stand up legend, Broadway star, a podcasting pioneers with millions of loyal listeners worldwide. Emmy nominee, Grammy nominee, about to be a major motion picture star. A man who went from the streets of Boston to Hulu specials.

[Bill Burr]

Nah, I was in the suburbs.

[Jada]

The suburbs of Boston. Excuse me. To the Broadway stage. And Stills finds time to argue about Biggie and Pack. Funny as hell, brutally honest and one of the most respected comedians alive today. Make some noise for the one and only Bill Burr.

[Bill Burr]

All right, thank you. I don't know if I can follow that.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Try to tell you he's gonna. All right, he's gonna give you the rollout. Just stay patient, you know? How do you do your podcast? You gotta set up like this.

[Bill Burr]

No, I just. I have A microphone that I, I, I, I put into my phone, and I just, I do it that way.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

People, man, they ain't gotta spend no money for this.

[Bill Burr]

It's not true.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Nothing that's. Yeah, I seen no. What's my man the other day. He's my man, too. Pete beat Davis. Pete Davidson, that in his mother's basement or some eating nacho cheese number one red. Like y' all ain't gotta do.

[Bill Burr]

That's not true. It's not true. Like, everybody, everybody, this is how they all started. They started with just, you know, when, when it first came out. I started doing the podcast in the late 2000s. You actually called up a phone service and recorded your phone call? Yeah, like a flip phone. You would record the podcast, and it started off as five minutes, and it became 10, and then people started writing in and that type of stuff. And then most people moved on to this having, like a studio or something. But I didn't want to have a guest because I didn't want to deal with people, you know, artists being like, oh, was that today? Blah, blah, blah. And then I got to, like, you know, you know, just do all this extra work and stuff. And I already got enough shit in my life, so I just wanted to keep it simple. And I also like doing it, like, more like underground type of thing, you know, where it's just whatever I say, I say, and then I don't edit it. You know, I didn't want it to be a bunch of work, so I never progressed. If I have a guest, we go into a studio. But if it's just like I did one this morning, I just did it in the hotel room. It's easy.

[Jada]

You got the. I like that. You get it done wherever you at.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. And plus, Netflix never came to me going, you know what?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

We want you to.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, we want you to be. Yeah, I've never, I've never.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

We spend the bag, you know. We spend the bag, you know, Motherfuckers hitting us from all over, officially. Everybody that works for us got to connect with Jordan. New Balance. This the two time a felon. They sending them New Balance now from them penny loafers. Kelly come in with the new Travis on. Everybody got new on their feet out here like this. Apparently they getting seated by all the top brands in the country because they work on the Joe and Jada show.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. But then with that comes stipulations, as he said, and I can't deal with that. I don't like that.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I don't take any bit of Bill's time. But I want to know what happened to you at the casino this weekend. Because they call me the Indians. They say your partner, man, he don't want to get off the table, man. What was it, man? What was the atmosphere? Why did he had hard my free time?

[Jada]

I liked it.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Play blackjack, it's not a problem. I'm not.

[Jada]

I lost my shirt. I had to stay another day and get my shirt.

[Bill Burr]

You got a bad guy,

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

go. I don't gamble. I gamble for the sake of the show.

[Jada]

Life's a gamble, Life's a gamble.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know how he sounds like that guy that gets prostitutes who goes like you're paying for it anyway. You are. No, there's a difference.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Technically you are larger amount when you do it at home. When you pay for it at home, you paying a large amount now. I got a 19 year old daughter, I'm paying twice. What are you talking about? This shit is this bag that you

[Bill Burr]

should be in the clear at 19, right?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Hell no. It just started.

[Jada]

19 in the clearport.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Fuck out of here. These people, man, are you crazy? I got one nephew now, he says he's not going to move. He's a hoarder. Yeah, my name's on the shit. I tell him, yo, Jon Jon, this time you, you gotta get about, you know what I'm saying? Get a job, do something. He talking about he knows his rights. My nephew is a fucking order.

[Bill Burr]

He's a squatter. Yeah, he's not your nephew.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

He's not an order. He's the squatter. He's not my nephew no more. Today. I said, man, let him.

[Bill Burr]

So how are you? What pressure are you going to do?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

We did it on the way in, right here, coming up upstairs.

[Jada]

They tell me, yo, what are you gonna do?

[Bill Burr]

That's a hard one. Because that's so relative.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

No, I sent some guys over there to beat the shit out of him and pull him up out of the apartment. He's gonna get pounded.

[Bill Burr]

No, you didn't. You wouldn't say that on the podcast.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You.

[Bill Burr]

I wouldn't say you discriminated yourself. Why would you do that?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

That's family business, man.

[Bill Burr]

You're not allowed to beat the shit out of your family member. Is that some loophole?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

That's what you. You really got permission to fuck up your family, right? What's next? Jon Jones taking the stand against me? Like, yo, this is.

[Bill Burr]

That's where that's gonna go. That is gonna get really ugly. And then people are gonna take sides. You gotta Deal with that immediately.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Man, it's hard. You've been doing this a long time. How hard is it for you to be the stupid?

[Bill Burr]

You have to say from the first one. You have to be like, this is a one time only if you're getting that sense from somebody you know. But a lot of times, you know, scumbags, they're good at hiding that. So then you gotta kind of, like, anticipate it. No, that's happened to me, too. I'm speaking from. Wasn't a relative, but, like, you know, I don't like talking about that shit. But, yeah, you can get into that problem quickly. So what I always say to somebody is, if you're struggling, all right, if you're reaching up, I'll try to pull you out. But if you're face down, digging it deeper, I'm not helping you out. And that's what you're doing right now. And then, you know, people who do shit like that usually don't take accountability. So then they try. Oh, you changed. And you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, nah.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I grew up in a project building with a thousand families, so I done got hit with every. I done paid for 200 funerals. No bullshit. The other day, I came out the Nick game and some random dude came up to me like, yo, you paid for my uncle's funeral, man. Thank you, Joe. This, like, survivor's guilt. My shit is legendary. Like, I took care of hundreds of guys. And they're all pieces of shits, too. They all end up pieces of shits. No, I'm telling you the truth. They all. I wasted my time and my money with these motherfuckers. Like, it's like, because of what? Loyalty, huh?

[Bill Burr]

Because of loyalty?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Because your sense of saying you loyal.

[Jada]

Look at that.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I got a nephew. I've been paying his bills for, like, for years and years and years. Now he's saying he's a squatter. He's not going to move. He's a piece of shit, right? I mean, there's no other way to take it around that whether. Get that one back.

[Bill Burr]

It's a calculating piece of shit.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

It's a piece of shit. Well, he's not that intelligent. Somebody fed him the system. Somebody told John. John the system.

[Bill Burr]

Then just tell him he isn't right? Because if you didn't read it, he's not going to know it.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

And then, you know my sister, oh,

[Bill Burr]

you don't gamble, though. He gambles. You got to have him do it.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You already know when it's A real moment. You need a real bottle. That's why we rock with 1800 to get tequila. These people been making tequila for 11 generations. That's a legacy. That's the OG status. They were the first to introduce Anejo. Set the standard before most of these brands even existed.

[Jada]

And you could taste the difference. For real. The 1800 Cristilino and Resposado is what we've been on lately. Smooth, clean, elevated, no rough edges. Just a premium pour that speaks for itself. You know, when something is just built, right? That's what this is.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Real talk. That's just what it is. It's always around for the best nights. The wins, the celebrations. Then remember that night stories.

[Jada]

Whether you're keeping it low key with the crew or you pull up to something big. 1800 fits every sentence. It ain't trying too hard. It just is that 1800 tequila. Real legacy. Real smooth. That's the move.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Pow.

[Jada]

Pow.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

All you want is normal family, right? Does anybody have normal family? You have normal family?

[Jada]

A percentage. I think everybody got a percent.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Like a percentage.

[Jada]

Nobody's whole family is normal.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Nobody's family's normal?

[Jada]

No, not every last. You can't go from the whole tree and everybody's normal. Every leaf on the tree ain't normal. Family tree.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You got crazy family, too. What would you describe as your crazy family members?

[Bill Burr]

All of us have our own brand of it. All of us have our own brand.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah, but what would you compare one of your crazy family members.

[Bill Burr]

What do you mean? To what?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Crazy? Like a crazy uncle. Crazy aunt you go to.

[Bill Burr]

It's just more like trauma and however you processed it. So, like with me, I was like. I used to be. I kind of had this miracle. I got over my anger, which I didn't think was ever gonna happen. Yeah, I just.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

It's called heart attack or stroke at this age. Like, you gotta calm that shit down.

[Jada]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

No, it was just time. I was just. I was done. I figured it out through an acting gig because I figured out why I was fucked up. I had to do some scene. I'll just tell it to you quickly. I had to do some scene, and I was just reading the lines and it was making me emotional. And it wasn't a sad scene, and I couldn't figure out why. And I was like, oh, because this is. I don't know, just how you were raised to be a man. You had to lock away 99% of your emotions. But when I act, these. These characters are feeling shit that's in the Vault. So I open that up and what comes out is other shit that's been trying to. Because you think like, oh, you know, if you're gonna cry as a guy, like, I'm not crying. And you think it went away. It didn't. It's still there. And then it like comes out during the holidays or some shit, you know, but you should have just fucking cried it out. So I got on the other side of that. I figured that out. Like, I kind of opened the door. So now I can feel all the emotions. And so I have options rather than flipping out, laughing, or saying I don't give a fuck. So that's kind of like in as far as, like other people in my family. I don't like talking about what. Cause, you know, whatever. We all went through it in our own way. So I processed it finally. It's weird, man. I didn't think it was gonna take that long, but it did.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

It's crazy.

[Jada]

Better late than never.

[Bill Burr]

No, now it's weird. Cause now I'm like kind of happy. Go lucky. And I'm not an angry dude around the house. So my wife, you know, she doesn't quite trust it yet after 20 something years of flipping out over nothing. But now she's starting to kind of understand it. So it's been cool. No, no, no.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

It's cool too. You know, I do my art in my office and I just mind my business. It's like therapeutic. And they know he's in there and I'm just minding my business. I think she got a good setup. Nowadays I don't trust nobody I don't trust. I don't go nowhere. So if that's what you wanted, your man in that house, that

[Jada]

he's got

[Bill Burr]

that 600 yard stare when he's talking about. I can see all the shit you've been through.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah. I'm telling you the truth. I don't get nobody no more. I don't want to go nowhere no more. I go to Atlanta. I go to Atlanta for the game. For the game. When I tell you the second I walk off the plane, most beautiful girl comes up to me, Joey. I'm saying the second, you know, it's all you had there. The door opened up and you got the girls that do the wheelchair and a beautiful girl. Joey. Welcome to the A. I'm like, seek the kingdom, nigga. Seek the kingdom.

[Bill Burr]

I don't know what that means.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Stay in the Lord's grace. Seek the kingdom. I walk two, three steps, Joey. I'm like, nah, this ain't. It's the Devil's in the Air. I gotta stay focused.

[Bill Burr]

Well, you know, if a beautiful woman's pushing a wheelchair, you know there's something wrong.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Well, it wasn't her.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah, it wasn't her.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, all right. I was gonna say that doesn't. That doesn't line up with me was

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

like, oh, I didn't know you wanted same flight as me. And just fucking, you know, immediately nicely.

[Bill Burr]

I have a lot of empathy for Nick fans.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You do?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, I do. Because one of my best friends, Paul Verzi, stand up comedian. Like his belief. Every year it's almost. It hurts me as a friend to see how much he believes. Every October, it's like that guy who just can't break up with that girl, you know, it's just like, she's gonna break your heart.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Call me Pendejo Records. They say I'm signing up Pendejo Record. That's like six sucker records every year. I think the Knicks are gonna win. I go through this.

[Jada]

You gotta introduce them to your man. Cause they got the same.

[Bill Burr]

They got the same disease.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You don't have it. Kiss. You sound like you a fake fan. I'm not a fake fan. So why you saying New York?

[Jada]

Everything?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You don't. All right, so what's the problem?

[Jada]

Everything New York.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah, I'm definitely not a Giants. The jets fan.

[Jada]

Everything New York.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I'm U.S. open.

[Bill Burr]

You're a tennis fan?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yes.

[Bill Burr]

I heard it in that. Yes.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

No, no.

[Bill Burr]

He was like, yes.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I love it. Let me tell you something. The biggest secret. Let me tell you something.

[Bill Burr]

You can just tell it to me, Joe. You don't have to wind up with three intros. Let me tell you something.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Today I'm. Let me tell you for the white people, but not just because you're obviously Caucasian. But the Caucasians have kept stuff away from us that we didn't know that we should be. We never knew about the US Open. I went over there a couple of years ago. Everybody got her mess on. They feeding you lobster? Benny honors over. I said this, I could get you there. I could be a squad catering. No, the catering is off the chain. US Open is beautiful. I went to a hockey game two years ago. It was the most lit, fun shit you ever been to. You ever been to a hockey game?

[Jada]

No.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

The best place you'll ever go in your life. But the white people never told us that. They never say, yo, this is actually Joe.

[Bill Burr]

It's on tv. Really fun. It's on tv. It's on tv. It's the same on tv. But I know what you're saying, though, because tennis is not even for all white people.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Well, who's it for, then?

[Jada]

Certain way.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, certain.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

For the elite.

[Bill Burr]

Formula One. Those are all Illuminati. Golf, tennis, F1. Yeah, well, that's the thing. They. No, they. They make. They make all white people feel like they're part of the Wimbledon club. Oh, so we do what we're supposed to do against you guys so they can take all of it. That's what they do. So they make it seem. I went to Wilbur. I went to Wilmington last year. Joe, if I get a word in. Yeah, I fucking. I did. I fucking did. I feel like. I feel like he's on my podcast. He's the guest. I went to Wimbledon earlier this year, and like, dude, the level of white there was, like. It was astounding to me. It was astounding to me. And I was. I was with this woman. I go, you want to freak any of these guys out? I go, just walk up to any of them and just sit down next to them and whisper in their ear, go, hey, I know what you did. And then walk away and just watch the.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

No, that's just crazy. Yeah, nobody did that to me.

[Bill Burr]

They all have, like, that heart attack spray in their front breast pocket.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah. I'd be fucked for, like a month. Like, yo, who is that woman that

[Jada]

just came and said that would freak me?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

That's what bugged me. The Out. But you know what? Before you.

[Bill Burr]

But they were sitting next to the. Fucking.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Before you came, royalty was here. She. She's. She's white right now, I think. So I'd agree with that experience at the Atlanta. It's different kind of white people. You just told you that? No, no, but I'm confirming. I went to the fucking Atlanta game. The Knicks in the Atlanta. And they had the white. You know, the white, different kind of white.

[Bill Burr]

The Knicks in. The Atlanta Knicks. The Hawks.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Knicks against the Hawks.

[Bill Burr]

Yes.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

But sitting behind me were these white people. And, you know, they're like George Bush and Barbara Bush. Like, it's a different kind of white. Like, they. They don't get out much. They just come for the game. And they were looking like, who's this fat motherfucker from New York that they were allowing to act like a complete

[Bill Burr]

asshole to sit in front of me?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Sit in front of me and act like an asshole in the most legendary of way? Like, they were. Look, they were trying to figure this shit out. Like, you know, they went Back home to ride horses and shit like that. Like this shit was great.

[Bill Burr]

Wait a minute.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I know who they are.

[Bill Burr]

You also being obnoxious, though. So it's not all them.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I'm not a good sport. I'm a bad sport. I'm terrible.

[Bill Burr]

You know, in Atlanta, they built them a brand new baseball stadium. And my people would not drive into it because they didn't like the traffic. So then they just gave it to Georgia Tech, I believe. And then they built a whole new one that has just as much traffic. But everybody shows up now.

[Jada]

That's it,

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

you know, the strangest things happen, you know. So I seen Dolan. You know Dolan, the owner of the Knicks?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, the musician.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

He's the musician. That's my guy. That's my guy. But when I tell you, Dolan looks for the most part, like, watch him tomorrow's game, he look like he don't want to say hi to nobody. Dolan. Dolan. I know Dolan.

[Jada]

Cause he. He was at game seven at the last time they was in the Eastern Conference finals like this.

[Bill Burr]

He was asleep.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

He didn't even give a.

[Jada]

I said, yo, he gotta be the hardest owner. He was in the front snoring.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

The man saw me going bent bad.

[Jada]

He like this.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

That's when you got too much money.

[Jada]

He didn't even care about.

[Bill Burr]

I think he's into music.

[Jada]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Like, I think if it was a band, I think he pays attention.

[Jada]

Live performance.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Show us what you like, what you love.

[Kal Penn]

Today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock bet. What a year they have had. Florida sportsbooks. Springs in the air.

[Bill Burr]

That only means one thing.

[Kal Penn]

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[Jada]

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[Amazon Narrator/Ad Voice]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type anything, any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S P500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures [e-mail] Disclosures

[Kal Penn]

hey everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project Hail Mary, Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Ray Porter]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections, and it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo. Is this indulgent? And I really thought about it.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I was like, no.

[Ray Porter]

At this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that. That deeply, emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh, my God,

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I cried at the end.

[Ray Porter]

It's like, yeah, dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Hearsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Jada]

So good.

[Bill Burr]

Your bill, ladies. I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist.

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[Bill Burr]

Don't be silly.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Silly? You know me, silly. People with The Wells Fargo ActiveCash credit

[Ray Porter]

card prefer to pay because they earn unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases.

[Bill Burr]

Okay.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Rock, paper, scissors for it.

[Bill Burr]

Rock, paper, scissors.

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Shoot.

[Bill Burr]

No.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

The Wells Fargo active cash credit card.

[Bill Burr]

Visit Wells Fargo.com ActiveCash Terms Supply.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You know, I'm into graffiti and they dropped the new video yesterday, right? Not guilty for it. And I'm the only going to running to YouTube to see the guys who hit the train. It's just everybody got their own. He wouldn't get off the tables. I got the call, right? Me, I'm addicted to. What's your addiction, man? What is it?

[Bill Burr]

It was booze.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

It's not fentanyl? No.

[Bill Burr]

No. You worked in Vancouver. That skid row puts LA to shame.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Free drugs.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, well, they decriminalized it. So they. They. They just come here and do your drugs? No.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Sell the drugs for free. I. When I went to Canada and I seen this, I thought they let you sell drugs. Freeze.

[Bill Burr]

This is. This is easy. You can't interrupt and then go. Go ahead.

[Jada]

Yeah, tell them.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Tell them what you were saying.

[Bill Burr]

I was trying to.

[Jada]

Cool.

[Bill Burr]

Let me hear about this so this shit is. They decriminalized drugs because they, they. They acknowledge that addiction is a disease, but they just stopped there. They didn't then try to get him help, as far as I can tell. So they're just out there. Fucking smoke. It's insane. And everybody folded in half. That Fenny fold is insane. Like, dude, I'm telling you guys that before the drugs couldn't touch their toes and now their face is like looking at their ass. Yeah, that's what I was joking. Nobody on Fentanyl has ever pulled a hammy. No, never. They sit there for 20 minutes, fucking head down to the ground.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

They got the strongest hammies in Pennsylvania. In Philly, it's called tranq tranquilizer. You in America, you watch when you go home, you go on YouTube and look for Philadelphia Tran. You won't believe this shit.

[Bill Burr]

Okay, what is that?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Zombies. Zombies.

[Bill Burr]

Every time you think it's not going to go further, somebody figures it out.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

The furthest it can go other than

[Bill Burr]

death as of right now.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah. You see them bring guys back to life. They overdosed. And the guys mad that they woke him up, like, oh, that shit was the best shit. Why? You woke me up. You fucked up my. Like, it's out of control. But what I was going to say to you is I used to sell drugs, right? So there's always a piece of.

[Bill Burr]

Dude, just segues of criminality.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

There's always a piece of criminality. So when I go to where you said in Vancouver, and I see it, I said, shit, you could sell drugs here and not go to jail if it feels like that, right? Like at that skid row.

[Bill Burr]

I didn't look at it that way.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I did. I looked at it like, yo, we can make a fucking killing out here. Like, these guys are letting you sell drugs. Like, it looks like you wouldn't have

[Bill Burr]

to hide your money then. No, no. That's what sucks about being a criminal is you have to hide your money. You got to drive lesser of a car where if you get on the corporate side, you can steal legally and you can drive down the street with like a, like a top hat on.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Tell you something, I went to Denver

[Bill Burr]

like, Like one of those bankers from the fuck 1800s.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Let me tell you something.

[Bill Burr]

All the smart mobsters went legal.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I used to go.

[Bill Burr]

They did. They got to the legal side of stealing.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

They went. I used to go to Denver. Denver's the first place to legalize marijuana.

[Bill Burr]

They're doing all their scams, the fucking lotteries, the numbers, extortion, they do all of that. They do everything. They do every fucking thing that mob did. They just do it legal. They do it legally.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

God bless those guys. He's a great guy. We got a Notorious.

[Bill Burr]

That's why it sucked that they caught Luigi. I wanted to see him finish this list.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I wanted to see PG13. Oh, yo, it's the family.

[Bill Burr]

See, this is why. This is why I do mine Fucking above my garage.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You don't give a fuck.

[Bill Burr]

No, I do.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You do.

[Bill Burr]

I. I do. Because I don't want to deal with that. Because they. They always do that shit. You know what it is? You. You can do Hunger Games. You cannot do Reverse Hunger Games. That's how it works. You can sell them a movie. Yeah, the future. Five guys have money and they run around shooting people. Oh, wow, that's great. You do it the other way, those people you were eating fucking come back and they're gonna kill you guys. Well, I mean, that's kind of a message that, you know, we don't want to put out. That's how that works.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Trust me, I know about.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that's why I do it above the garage. No stipulations. No stipulations, Joe. You want to be stipulation free as much as you can. You want to limit stipulations. There you go. Look at that. That's your problem, Joe. You got too many stipulations in your life and you're wearing it on your face.

[Jada]

Get him.

[Bill Burr]

You're wearing it on your face. That's why he's dressed in his fucking tracksuit. He's trying to compensate for all the stipulations in his life.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

He's trying to tell you something, Bill. I grew up with shit.

[Bill Burr]

You are dressed like it's Sunday morning.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Let me tell you something, Bill, it's Monday.

[Bill Burr]

It's the first day of the week.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Look at you, Stoney.

[Bill Burr]

You look like you just had some cereal.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah, you tasted. You look like the serial killer in this movie. Fucking Apex. Anybody seen that movie on Netflix? Apex. He looked like the motherfucking killer. He was fucking killing everybody, this guy. No wonder you on fucking Netflix. You was killing everybody. Charisse theory. That's the guy. Yo, this serial killer, how you bring Luigi's man in this right here. Fucking Luigi, huh?

[Bill Burr]

How about the fact that whole crime was on camera? That didn't disturb any of you New Yorkers? That you live in a police state? I mean, I understand you got to stop the guy. They had him all. Until he went behind a tree. They couldn't film him. They had that whole thing.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah, they got that.

[Bill Burr]

I saw a thing.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

That's how they solve in. Crime is no longer like real. It's true. You seen Jussie Smollett, fellow actor?

[Jada]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Can you just say that name?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Smolliette.

[Bill Burr]

Smolliette. I like that. I think that's better than Smollett. Smolliette.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I've seen and heard a lot of shit in my life. Jussie Smollett took the fucking cake. You hear me? He might as well go down like Paul Reveal, like, reacted. They back him up. He said he got beat up. They backed the film up. And he's rehearsing choreography with the guys who beat him. Like, yo, get yo, Jesse Smollett.

[Bill Burr]

That's my favorite thing ever.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

He took care of him.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, I gotta smell it. Just even I know that

[Jada]

he's saying the wrong way thing he likes.

[Bill Burr]

No, I get it. That's low key. I. I don't respect you because you lied. So I'm not going to respect you enough to say your name right. I. I like that. You know, can I take that and pick up the flag after further review.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Even if I love you, I get further review.

[Bill Burr]

I understand why you said slowly, yet I got. My bad. My bad. Replay the down. Replay the down.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

My side took the flag back. You see how this go Two Time a felon. That's.

[Bill Burr]

That comes with age. You can admit when you're wrong.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

This guy works on the stage.

[Jada]

He's called Two Time a fellow doing a live talk. Can I. Can I come. Can I come check you out?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I want to make sure 100%. I was saying before we came on him telling that story of the guy taking the dap back, I. The amount of comedians I sent that to, we all. We all we talked about was how masterfully, comedically you told that story. It was amazing.

[Jada]

That's it.

[Bill Burr]

See, you're amazing.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Tell it too, brother. There you go. Let me tell you something. I hate these guys.

[Bill Burr]

Dude, you are a character, man. No, you are a cat. You are. You're not even trying and you just are.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Listen.

[Jada]

Insane.

[Bill Burr]

It's like a ticket. He can't say something. He said you grew up in a loud house. Listen, let me tell you something. I got. Hey, Joe has something to say. We're here for you, Joe. You can just.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You've never seen me, DJ Khaled and Nori on a regular. Not camera, just in the crib eating. Can't nobody get a word. Yo, let me fucking Talk. Yo, I got something to say. Can I talk now? Like, we. This. The whole conversation is Kim, we talk. We just screaming at each other.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, because nobody's listening.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Nobody wants to fucking. You know, everybody want to.

[Jada]

Nobody wants to listen.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

But what I was gonna say is I hate these guys. These guys he's talking about just look smolly yet.

[Bill Burr]

Or we've moved on to.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

It's not smolly yet. That's been gone. I'm just trying to keep up. One of the icons that I love, living legends. I wouldn't call her auntie. I just love her so much. Stephanie Mills. And she says she goes where she's celebrated, not when she's tolerated. And it's a lot of motherfuckers that go where they tolerated. Well, you know, we really don't want you here, but you there, right? So that's. That story that he's telling is like, he took his dad back. Like, what are you even doing here? We don't even really fuck with you, you know, and with me, you know, I've been doing this 30 something years. And we went through a phase where we were the number one guys in the world. So every groupie that you could think of was trying to latch onto us. Every groupie to come 25 years later. And the young, young brother from the Bronx, A boogie. Now, he's the biggest. He says, joe, I'm doing this big show, come by and I go to his dressing room. And the same groupies from Fat Joe and big pun in 1997 are in the A boogies. These are grown man groupies in a boogies room. Like, yo, you want a piece of cake? You wanted this. I. What the fuck is like? I. They, you know, and then they say, they tell they family. I'm in the industry. They tell they family. Yeah, I'm in the industry, you know, in this industry. I'm like, what industry is these people fucking talking about? What qualifies you for being in the industry? Tell me that in an end.

[Bill Burr]

No,

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

no, no. Get paid. That could make one. If you're in some type of entertainment, you're getting paid. That's a good one. You know, because these guys, they turn around and say they in the industry. They tell their families they broke a shit and their job is groupie. And they get the daps taken back. Like, yo, my man, we don't fucking know you. We, man, get the fuck outta here. Like, I mean, it's amazing to me it's an industry.

[Bill Burr]

Just for the record, I understood the Story when he told you understood the story. I understood it, yeah. I didn't know where you were going with that, Joe.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I don't know where the fuck I'm going. I just. It just always lands. It always lands. It's like the fucking Artemis.

[Bill Burr]

It does. It does.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

What's that spaceship? The Artemis.

[Bill Burr]

Passengers might not be there when you land, but you definitely land. Whatever you were flying.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

That motherfucker gonna make sense. And then sometimes I catch a little Alzheimer's or something. Sometimes I freeze up and they'll be like, yo, what the fuck I'm talking about? And then I get it. Bam. You was talking about this, Joe. Get it there. You know what I'm saying? Very important.

[Jada]

I want to hear about the Social Reckoning.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Oh, socially recognized.

[Bill Burr]

That was the movie I was doing when I was up in Vancouver when I saw that Skid Row. So I did like a week on that movie. It's Aaron Sorkin movie, and it's not a sequel to the Social Network. It's a. Where that one showed how Facebook came about. This is more showing sort of the results, I think, overall, of social media and stuff like that. And it's an amazing script, I can tell you that. I think it's gonna be an amazing movie. I read really slow, right? So when I got the script, it was like 145 pages. And I'm like, fuck. It was usually about 105, 110. So I have to literally be like, all right, I'm gonna read 30 pages a day. I'll get through this shit in like four days. Whatever. I sat down, I couldn't stop reading it. I went read in one sitting. Read the thing, and I went there, and it was one of the most fun I've had shooting things, you know, cool actors, and Aaron was great. So I think that that comes out in like, October, but it's getting some good buzz already.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Good for you.

[Bill Burr]

And you are welcome to see a tat, Joe. This isn't like tennis.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Marty Supreme. You're welcome. You might be the next Marty Supreme. You never fucking know. You never know.

[Bill Burr]

The Facebook movie might be like the ping pong movie.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You know, I met the algorithm. Let me ask you a question. Let me ask you, Chris. Bill, because you look very intelligent. Let me ask you a question.

[Bill Burr]

I feel like you're selling me a bad car.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I met.

[Bill Burr]

Hey, Bill, you're a smart guy. The hoodie comes up, he's gonna do something shady like, what's going on?

[Jada]

He's about to line you, Bill.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah, I meant the algorithm.

[Bill Burr]

How long is this podcast? No, no, I mean that in a good way. I mean that in a good way. You are Joe.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

We're going to get you out.

[Bill Burr]

Fascinating.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

We're going to get you out the next 30 minutes because my former mobster Joey Molino's here.

[Bill Burr]

We don't want him to tell you I'm the appetizer. I mean, I don't want.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

We don't want Joey to pull you to the side at this show and tell you, you know, you old dudes attacks or some shit like that, you know what I'm saying? But I'm in Nate now. It's my favorite Jewish deli out in la, and I'm eating my split pea soup. Girl comes over, she says, hey, do you want to meet the owner of Instagram? So I go over there, I meet the guy. The guy's the fucking. I said, oh, shit. You're the algorithm. You control Instagram. You're the fucking. And he said, yeah, well, you can say it like that, Joe. I am the algorithm. This guy, right?

[Bill Burr]

Wait, you met a guy in LA and you said, you are the algorithm?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

And he confirmed the fucking owner of Instagram. He's the algorithm. If I own Instagram. Instagram, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You wouldn't admit to that.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Victor. And fucking Victor meets me and I feel like, hey, that's photography. Let me light him up and give him 2,3 million subscribers. I can. I'm the algorithm. Let me tell you something. Shout out to Michael Jackson family. The movie's number one in the country, Jada.

[Bill Burr]

He says, shit. And then when it's your turn to talk, he then goes, let me tell you something. And then he keeps going. Then he keeps going and he keeps going.

[Jada]

He got him. He got him.

[Bill Burr]

You got the easiest job in show business. You just sit there.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You can say that again.

[Bill Burr]

All Jada's got to do is sit up and go. And then he goes, let me tell you something. I said, all right, I'm back. I went and I saw a band one night, and this guy was talking so much between songs, it was driving me nuts, because he was great. He talked for 10 minutes one time and then said, first of all, swear to God, I was just sitting there going, how the fuck are you? How about in conclusion?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

All right, you want to know what happens, Bill, is, do I have a choice?

[Bill Burr]

I mean, you're going to tell me either way.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Sometimes you get a gig.

[Bill Burr]

Just tell me what happened, Joe.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Sometimes you get a gig.

[Bill Burr]

How many times a week do you get your beard lined up every day.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Actually, my barber fucked up. Today was his birthday. Shita went to act. What's up? He was supposed to come at 8 in the morning. I really would add that shit every

[Bill Burr]

time I see you. It's that late.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Fucking paper cut your finger. My shit looked like 3D. My shit, like, when I was in jail, the first thing I got was a barber. Swear to God. The first thing I got said, who's the best barber in this motherfucker? Comes up, Poppy with the.

[Bill Burr]

You were just. You were on your own wavelength, like I'm telling you. Just your own thing. Who says that? Going to jail. They're thinking, let me get a shank so I don't get in the ass. He's like, I want my beer to look good when I'm getting sexually assaulted,

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

you know.

[Bill Burr]

Jeff, what crew do I need to align with so I don't get in the ass? This guy. You guys got a post office? He went to jail like Jimmy the Jet. Yeah, he had his own wing.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

The first thing I got was a barber. The barber told me. I said, yo, how much is the most you get paid? Cause I paid my. My barber hundreds of dollars a cut. Like, for real, right? But you said the guy, luckily in jail, you can work a month doing some shit, and you. You get paid a Snickers bar. The motherfucker say he want $5 to say, I'm gonna give you a hundred dollars a month. But when I call you.

[Bill Burr]

But when I what?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

When I call you, I don't care who you cutting. What's going on? Yo, Bobby, you gotta lead that. You gotta run up here.

[Bill Burr]

Was that a smart move though?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Huh?

[Bill Burr]

Was that a smart move though, letting people know you had a hundred bucks?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

A hundred bucks? I'm fed, Joe. Don't fucking. They know I'm rich when I'm walking down you fucking great. That's what I'm saying. I would immediately attacked Fat Joe the second he went in jail. I'd have been like, yo, you got to pay. You got to pay. But anyway, I give him a hundred bucks and I tell him, yo. So I come out there, you know, any given Sunday, bobby. And then Mr. Joe, he start running up the shit in front of the horse right here, you know what I'm saying? He used to hit my shit little. It's all a movie. It's all a, you know, it's a production. It's theater, you know what I mean?

[Bill Burr]

Are you bailing on your own story? No, I'm all right.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

It's part of that shit I remember spinning on this marble because I got space, I got friends who did massive amount of jail time in real jails, right? So I had like a pamphlet, a preparation. The night before Pistol Pete stood in my house. I said, yo, Pistol, how's it going to be for me? Because this is the first time I'm doing time. He said, just like you live out here, you're going to live in. You the dumb. And he ain't never lie when it had that shit locked down. Chef, Italian chef cooking for me. Matzah mel, fresh homemade ice cream. Matzo mel mozzarella, homemade fresh ice cream. All type of. I had a guy used to wash my cell. You can eat ice cream off the floor. This shit was so as shiny as your head, Bill Burr. In the fucking floor. You eat ice cream.

[Bill Burr]

You threw that in. Because you know, I'm not buying all of this.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

What, what was set of cameras, you

[Bill Burr]

would have had to pay.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Let me explain something. You see how many cameras is in here? There was thousands of.

[Bill Burr]

Wait a second, wait a second.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Nobody say he lying. Everybody. I had thousands of guys locked up with me and nobody say I'm lying. I tell these stories all the time. You ain't got one person come out like, nah, that ain't. Nah. Yes, it's true. Yes, it's true. Joe had it like that. Sorry, sorry. Not sorry, Phil Burr. They say I could be good at fucking stand up comedian. But I don't know, man. It's much harder than just telling jokes with your friends.

[Bill Burr]

You think once you established your vibe. Because it took me like 10 minutes. And then, all right, I get this guy, you just say something and then he answers a different question and then

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

you just listen, Yo, Bill, you're very sharp because you. You're sharp because you figured out.

[Bill Burr]

Stop doing this cell phone salesman shit to me. I'm not buying the plane.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

No, it takes people, it takes people time to figure out. Fat Joe, you figured me out in 10 seconds.

[Bill Burr]

No, 10 minutes. It was 10 minutes.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You can't shut the fuck up. I have a problem.

[Bill Burr]

Why do you think that's. Do you think that's trauma based?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Ego based, ego based trauma?

[Bill Burr]

You need to take your hood off so your head doesn't get too hot.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You know, what happened was when I grew up, guys like me wouldn't tell their story, right? So I'm from the streets. There was a time, Bill, where I used to say, yo, no pictures. I'm in the club with all the other drug dealers and they going, yo, and I'D be like, yo, no pics. Nah, can't be in the pics. Or there was no storytelling because you couldn't trust nobody to tell a story. So all these stories I had, I would not even tell him shit. See, I was the guy. You'd be like, he's unapproachable. He's not a nice guy. You would see him from far and

[Bill Burr]

you'd be like, so when did that change?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Soon as the podcast. And everybody said you could talk and you could be cool now. And Drake started making hotline bling shit like that. I know when the hotline bling, that's when you allow to be yourself once. Drake was like, you, you, you, you. I said, oh, shit. We ain't got. We ain't gotta live up to the shit. We could just. I know when the highlight bling. That's it. I said, yeah, you can be yourself. Fuck it, be funny. Everybody likes a fucking former gangster turned funny guy.

[Bill Burr]

That's true.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Everybody loves that. Remember what the fuck was that movie where the guy was a. Was it Robert De Niro? He was a gangster and then turned into a nice guy. Analyze this, analyze this. That was a motherfucker, that movie, huh? Everybody likes the funny gangster.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, I agree.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I feel like James, you was selling them weed in the suburbs and shit. Like, James.

[Bill Burr]

No, I didn't smoke weed till later in life. Yeah, I always stayed away from him.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Why?

[Bill Burr]

Because this guy, when I was in fourth grade, came to our school and he told us what it was like to have emphysema. And he goes, make a fist like this and try to breathe through it. That's what happens if you smoke. So I was just like, all right, I'm not doing that. I was the one kid like he connected with, so I wouldn't smoke anything. But I drank like a lunatic, so I just went that direction. So it wasn't until like my 30s, you know, you can't drink alcohol your whole life. It beats the shit out of you. So at some point, you know, and I still had my demons, so I needed something to take the edge off, so I started smoking weed. But all the old people tell me that the weed nowadays is not the way it used to be. And it's like. It's all like fucking chemicals. I know guys that. Who they used to smoke all the time when I was younger in like the 80s, they quit. They quit cause they're saying that the weed is too intense. I don't know.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

All I'm looking at is potheads in this they like, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Did you have to smoke like, all

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

the older guys who used to smoke? Is the weed the same as back in the day?

[Jada]

Nah, they were smoking. They were smoking. Weed is like TVs. They had the TVs with the big backs on them. Now you got big TVs that grandma could carry is light. You know what I'm saying? That's what happened to the weed. It evolved. The chemists, they got more resources, more shit. He's right. You try to smoke weed with somebody who smoked in the 70s and 80s, the weed today will blow their socks off.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that happened to me at Thanksgiving. I went to give somebody a gummy, and she goes, it's not going to do anything for me. I go, it's like 10 milligrams. She goes, yeah, I need at least 100. So I was like, wow. And then, like an idiot, whatever she was smoking, I took two hits of. And then after I was going, like, I shouldn't have done that. And then, like, I sat down. I just wasn't. I wasn't at Thanksgiving for, like, three hours. No. And my wife literally kept saying, like, people kept trying to talk to me. And she kept going, he's useless. He's useless. That's what it was.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

And you hearing that in 3D, you.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah. No, it's like I was paralyzed. Like, I was laying.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You're paralyzed?

[Bill Burr]

Like, people didn't know I could hear him.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Useless. You useless. Listen, you know, I don't drink. I'll tell you some bullshit my wife did to me, man. And fucking Nori helped him. So we have these, like, lunch dates with his wife, my wife, and we in Miami, and we fucking Bell Harbor. And these guys start. You know, they drink for breakfast, right? So everybody's drinking, and Nori starts smoking blunts in the middle of Bell Harbor. Like, nah, we violated Bal harbor like you never seen seen in your life. And, you know, they. Y', all. They love us there. You know, we always shop. Next thing I know is I'm getting. I'm fucking drunk. Like a boxer when he's about to get knocked out that the motherfucker's on his tippy toe. Like, I'm really like this. I'm standing up against the wall like, it's like two in the afternoon. I'm like. Because I don't really drink, I feel my hand getting pulled, like, pulled in a direction. So I'm getting pulled as my wife, and I'm, like, stuck inside myself. Like, I kind of know what's going on, but I'm so fucking drunk, there's nothing I can do. And she takes me to the store. You know, there's stores you don't even want to look to the left. Them diamonds are so shiny and shit.

[Bill Burr]

They.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

The stores we know we can't afford,

[Jada]

like grass and shit like that.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You just don't look at that shit when you walk in the mall. And all of a sudden, sudden they open the door and I go in there. Now Nori is supposed to be the drink champ, the more professional guy. He more drunk than me. Stuck. He's stuck. He's worse than me. They sit him in the chair. The guy comes out, brings out these white gloves. How you doing, Mr. Joe? Your wife been looking at this necklace here? This is the state of the art. I'm like, you motherfucker, I'm in my head. Fuck your mother, you motherfucker. I'm saying. And she's looking at me like, you don't want that, right? Cause you know this ain't the store you supposed to go into. I'm like, you don't want that, right? She's like, yes, yes. And I'm fucking. I'm like this. And Nori look more scared than me. And he's the drink champ. He looking at me like, oh, shit, man. I wind up getting her that fucking necklace. This shit cost so much fucking money. I remember tippy toeing out of that shit like I was. I never did that shit again. They never caught me. I know how to learn my lesson.

[Bill Burr]

You didn't drink near a drunk.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

They never catch me in that fucking place drunk again in my fucking life. That was like 10 years ago. They did. You're not doing it to me. Shame on you. What about George Bush that you get me one time. Shame on me. They get me the second time. Fuck no, I know, I seen the play.

[Bill Burr]

That's not what he said. He said, you fool me once, shame on you. You fool me twice. Then he got confused and then he just goes, you're not gonna fool me again. That's what he said. That's what. That's why I always had. I went to summer school too, so I always had a. I had a soft spot for him as I've been there. George. Yeah, we all know what you were trying to say. It's all right.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yoda.

[Jada]

Joe and jadashow.com. we got new merch, fresh off the presses. Go get it.

[Bill Burr]

Bam.

[Jada]

Out of Bing Bomb going Jada. Show you can get these little cold for T shirt. Where the hoodies at?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

The extra large [e-mail] go there get it.

[Amazon Narrator/Ad Voice]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures [e-mail] Disclosures hey everyone, it's Kal Penn.

[Kal Penn]

I'm the host of Irsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary, Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[Ray Porter]

I'm really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections and it's like okay, yo yo yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I was like no.

[Ray Porter]

At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like yeah dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Irsay the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Joe Cracker Dawn]

So good.

[Bill Burr]

Your bill, ladies. I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist.

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[Bill Burr]

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[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You don't be silly. People with the Wells Fargo Active cash

[Bill Burr]

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[Ray Porter]

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[Bill Burr]

Okay.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Rock, paper, scissors. For it.

[Bill Burr]

Rock, paper, scissors.

[Jada]

Shoot.

[Bill Burr]

No.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

The Wells Fargo Active cash credit card.

[Bill Burr]

Visit Wells Fargo.com ActiveCash term apply.

[Jada]

Tell us about the tribute to Eddie Murphy.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, man. Afi. The American Film Institute. I didn't know. I'm an idiot. I didn't know.

[Jada]

I didn't know if it was af1 or afi.

[Bill Burr]

I didn't know what it was either.

[Jada]

I just said, tell us about the Eddie Murphy trip.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, so there was. It was on Netflix. Your boys with the stipulations. Um, they.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

They were doing we love you guys.

[Bill Burr]

They. They were doing a. A tribute or an honoring of his whole career. So it's. It's on a Saturday night, so it's literally Friday. And my wife goes. She says to me, she's like, how you feeling about this? You know, because I'm. You know, because I've been so volatile over the years, she. She always has to, like, check my emotional temperature before we go out just to see what she was going to be involved in. So out of habit, she said, how you feeling? I was like, oh, it's great. You know, I'm showing up to this thing. I don't have to do anything. I get to, like, you know, chill out and just watch this show. And it's Eddie, this is gonna be amazing. And literally right as I said that, she got a phone call, and they were asking if I would go up and say a few things. And I immediately got super nervous. Cause it's Eddie. So I quickly said yes before I would, like, you know, chicken out or whatever. And, yeah, I ended up having to go up there. And I don't know how you guys work, but my thing is, if I write the whole. Cause I had a teleprompter. If I write the whole thing out, I am, like, in robot mode. I am, like, in my head, and it's like I'm not connected to it. So I had to, like, sort of have an idea what I was going to say. But what was cool was I saw Eddie on the raw tour in 1986 at this place. What was it called? It's called Great Woods. And what was cool was I saw Rodney Dangerfield like a week before because he was coming off of that back to school, and they were both huge, and they were playing these giant things. And I went and I saw Rodney, and he was fun and hilarious and all that, but he had, like, an all white crowd. But I didn't notice because I was from the suburbs. So it just looked like everything I was going to. But when I saw Eddie, he had this mixed crowd. And this is before I was a comedian. I don't know why that stuck in my head, but I remember seeing it. I was like, 18. I was going, this guy is literally. He's making everybody laugh. I'm not shitting on Rodney, but this guy had young, old, black, white, Asian. Everybody was there, and he was fucking killing. He had the purple suit, too, which I wanted to ask him about that. It's like, did you have more than one? Did you wear it the whole fucking tour?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

He probably had more than one.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I don't know. Some guys wear the same shit the whole tour, like. And they're not broke. They just. That's the cops.

[Jada]

Makes sense. Yeah.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You coming?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. But that's how. Watching him do that, I was thinking, you know, if I ever did stand up, I would want to be able to do. Make everybody laugh. You know what I mean? So. And it was a. It was really one of the best lessons I ever got. So anyway, I got to go up and say a few words. And it was. It went great, but it was super intimidating because it was him, all 10 of his kids, whoever they married. It was like the Kennedy family of comedy just staring right at you 40 years later. It was really crazy, you know, What

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I love about Eddie Murphy in our line of business, music, a lot of the icons, a lot of the entertainers we looked up to either got on drugs, a up, they're broke, and you see them, and it feels, like, horrible when you see some of the guys who made the biggest songs or made us laugh the most or whatever. And when I seen that documentary and it just opened up on Eddie Murphy in, like, a $90 million house, I was like, yes. Yeah, this motherfucker ain't get high.

[Bill Burr]

You know my favorite thing he said in that documentary? He said, yeah. He goes, I never. I never got into drugs or anything. He goes, I loved myself. Which I've never heard a comedian say. You know what I mean? It was cool.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

So even though y' all funny and y' all use humor, a lot of y' all got, like, dark past and shit like that and go through some shit.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, well, that's the thing. So you use humor. Like, a lot of times, something fucked up happens in the news, and then you have a joke about it, and they think it's because you don't care. It's the opposite. It's. It's like a. It's a way of not feeling. The feeling that you make a joke so you can get past it so you can deal with it and blah, blah, blah. Some people, you know, some people go into music. Some people go this way. Comedians, what we do is we use humor. And the thing that I think is hard about that for your personal life is that is like, it's denying of feelings, so you just sort of stay walled off, and that can become difficult for you and the people in your life after a while.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Fact, you need that outlet, you know, you need that outlet. To me, music is therapeutic. So I don't care how you know. The other day, I'm writing this song, and Dre tells me, yo, they know you're not killing motherfuckers in the bodega Joe. They know you're not selling drugs no more. But I just don't know how to not make violent music. Like, the minute the beat comes on, I just get the killing. No, it's the fucking truth. Last year, I left St. Tropez. We was on vacation. I got on the left stuns up first class this. I threw a beat on kill your mom's nigga. Yo, it's on this that I don't know how to not do that.

[Jada]

So do it.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, why don't you. Why don't you talk about being court sized at Atlanta?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Well, we do that, too.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, you could.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You know, of course, out of Atlanta. This is the one time I got security, by the way, Bill, everybody's scared of me. I don't know if, you know, everybody's scared of me and my security. Security. I got security. But he pretty much. We feed him and we pay him for free because he's never had to have an argument with one person in his life, right? And I told him, when we went to that Atlanta Hawks game, I said, listen, this is going to be the first time in your life, you're going to earn a check because I'm ready to fight the whole stadium. I'm going down for my Knicks. Thank God everybody was gracious, everybody showed us love. But I'd like to, like, I'm an asshole when it comes to my Knicks. I gotta go over there and we.

[Bill Burr]

Why are you blaming other teams? Why are you blaming other teams? It's not the Atlanta Hawks fault where the Knicks have been. They're just doing what you're trying to do. Why are you taking. It's misdirected anger.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I gotta go.

[Bill Burr]

You didn't want to hear that.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You know.

[Bill Burr]

Are you having a nervous breakdown? Like, what is happening right now? Like, what the fuck? It just got eerily silent here.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Some people, man. Some people just. You're right. You're fucking right. Like, it's like, you know, some people got problems. I gotta fuck.

[Bill Burr]

I'm just gonna start doing what you're doing. I'm just gonna do what you're doing. That's it. You see? Just do this. You do this every once in a while.

[Jada]

Stretch it out. You know what I mean? Come back. Come back.

[Bill Burr]

You're really. You're patient. You got that down. I'm trying to work on that patience.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Well, if I had another guy that was crazy like me, we had beef with the whole planet Earth. Thank God he could pull me down to. Joe, chill, Relax.

[Bill Burr]

What are you really upset about?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

If you had your nephew, I might not. I don't give a. I didn't really knew he was a piece of shit.

[Bill Burr]

Well, your nephew's affecting your life way more than the Atlanta Hawks. And it seemed like you had way more like aggression towards them.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

If I'm upset about anything is that I hate getting old. Like, I like to be forever young and I want to live forever. So I want the drugs to hurry up and come. I know once I die, they're going to make the shit that make you live for 200 years. What's the shit now? You got the Shit that make you healthy, the Peptides and all that.

[Bill Burr]

But I want the direction shit is going in. You want to see how this plays out?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Nah, this is going to come out.

[Bill Burr]

They're coming out with cars in 2027 that have all AI surveillance. They're setting this up where one person can run the world because their armies used to get spread out too thin. You're on two fronts, and you would lose. So this is what they're doing. Like those fucking cars, man, that don't have a driver. They're going to sell those to people like, oh, yeah, now you can fucking sleep on the way to work. And it's like, yeah, that's also your own police car. Like, if they decide to make you think you're going to the gym, you said the wrong thing. They're taking you to that fucking Alligator island, and there's nothing you can do sitting in your sweatpants. Sitting in your sweatpants.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I'll be thinking about thinking.

[Bill Burr]

You're going to talk to the barber down there, and you're not going to. Are you going to talk to the barber? There's no post office.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Are you going to own ropes? Robots?

[Bill Burr]

No, I, I.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You live long enough. Are you gonna own robots? Yeah.

[Jada]

Robots now.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

No, no, I'm gonna own a robot. Yo. Made me Kanekisa.

[Bill Burr]

See, that's the mistake, is you think you're gonna own it. That's the mistake.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

The robot's gonna own me.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. That's a surveillance. You're bugging your own. Everybody, they're doing refrigerators.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Oh, no. Everybody's bugged in their house.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Why?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

See, this guy killed the girl. The, the singer. What's his name? Joe.

[Bill Burr]

Don't get. Don't get a robot and bring it in your house.

[Jada]

I've heard of.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I'm already surveilled all day. They tapped my ass. I'm tapped out.

[Jada]

Lights went out.

[Bill Burr]

Off.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I tap the lights went out.

[Jada]

That gave the Lord. Yeah, the Lord turned the lights up. They tapped your ass.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Now that's the super pause.

[Jada]

Whoa.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

What I'm trying to tell you is that I was trying to tell him

[Bill Burr]

earlier that the barber isn't your biggest problem. When you go to jail, you don't even got it.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

We are fucking tapped. Everywhere you go, we are tapped for some reason. Good stuff. So I drove my wife's car the other day, and I tried to get my Bluetooth in. I want to hear some Jaheen, right? And it wouldn't take. And one of my friends would say, man, you might have A good luck. It ain't going in your wife's shit that every phone call come your way is. They can hear everything. God damn it. You know when you got your phone to the laptop, my man was like, yo, man, God is looking out. He tried make sure your phone don't go up on the fucking shit.

[Bill Burr]

You know, I don't know what you're

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

talking about, but, yeah, I think. I think we're surveilled. I don't never feel like we're not surveilled, so I don't never say shit that I wouldn't say if there weren't 100 people right in my face. And even if it sounds bad, I don't give a fuck. I would say it in front of 100 people. Sometimes I'm very opinionated. Sometimes I say some shit that.

[Jada]

Right?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I just don't give a fuck. I'm going through that trauma you used to go through.

[Jada]

You got it, Bill. You got it.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah, Bill, you got it. Yo, Bill, let me tell you something.

[Jada]

Let me tell you something, man.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Let me tell you about the number one Raiders. Bill, we came. Speaking of the robot. We came. We put up the podcast, and let me tell you something. These other podcasts, they look like dinosaurs right now. They're doing, like, robot man for real. Like, I look at. I try to look at all these podcasts, maybe 10 minutes, I'm like, man, these guys in trouble. Like, you even get with the program or not? Our got fluidity. Our. Every day we got a different fluidity. We got a different person.

[Bill Burr]

Can't you just do a podcast and not start beef with every other podcast out there?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I mean, my is beef really.

[Bill Burr]

It's a peaceful. It's a peaceful space.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

It is.

[Bill Burr]

Anybody can do it. You don't have to come after all these people now.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I want beef with everybody. But you figured it out. You. There's only one exception who you're going after. First I went at it.

[Bill Burr]

Does Ellen DeGeneres have one you don't like, though?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I tried. Like, I'm not gonna lie to you. I try to start, like, the east coast, west coast, north, south podcast. I tried first episode. I was like, everybody. Whoever won, nobody responded. Like, Nobody responded. Nobody went for it. All right. I wish.

[Bill Burr]

I can't. I can't. How much longer?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Like, will you.

[Bill Burr]

I just can't like this. None of this makes sense.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You want to beef with Pete Davidson, you don't want to beef with Pete.

[Bill Burr]

You start everything. You just step into insanity. There's, like, the logical and you just stepped into insanity.

[Jada]

You just step into.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, like, I have been trying to go talk to you, and it's just like, I don't know where to jump in.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Bill Burke, people who really know you, they'd be like, yo, that's the wrong guy to give you that therapy right there. Yo, two time. We gotta. Oh, coffee, NBA talk. So you like, what's your team?

[Bill Burr]

Did you just order a coffee in the middle of all of that? That was just like, fucking, like. What just happened? You were. You were here. You went at a restaurant.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You just said you in a fucking Taliban cave shooting your show. You don't give a fuck. It's connected to the phone. You good to go?

[Bill Burr]

We got this one just at a hotel room.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Same shit. Hotel room. If you put that light to see where the semens at in that fucking room, you wouldn't want to sleep in that bitch.

[Bill Burr]

All right. I'm glad I fucking did my podcast before I talked to you. Jesus Christ. All right, you're going to bring up what? NBA.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

NBA.

[Bill Burr]

I'm a hockey guy. I watch hockey. Oh, yeah, I heard it. That's what I do when somebody brings up NBA.

[Jada]

Who's left in the playoffs right now?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, it's the first round. So everybody's left.

[Jada]

Everybody's left. Who's the best team in the.

[Bill Burr]

Probably the Avalanche, and I'd say in the east is probably Carolina. But the best first round matchup has been, I feel, has been Canadiens versus the Tampa Bay Lightning. Like, the first three games went into overtime. And then also, it's good when it's good for hockey, when the Canadians are good, even though they're, like, always right.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yeah, they're always good, right?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, it's like baseball wasn't fun when the Yankees sucked in the 80s. It's like, as a Boston fan, I want to beat him, but I don't want to beat them when they stink. You know you want to.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You want to. Boston. One time I went to Boston and I had a Yankee hat on, and no fucking restaurant would let me eat dinner there because I had a Yankee hat on and I wouldn't take the shit off. Yeah, I went to, like, eight fucking restaurants. You guys are terrible over there. Boss. Y' all hate the Yankees like that, right?

[Bill Burr]

We did until we won and then the movie ended. And then ESPN tries to keep it going, but there's.

[Jada]

It's not the same.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, it's like you would chant 1918, then we won, so you can't chant that. You got 27 nobody's going to catch up with that. So there's really nothing going on. But at this point, it's kind of about the Dodgers, where they're sort of like a hedge fund spending, like, a billion dollars. I don't know. I'm not into that. Like, it's going to cause a strike,

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I think the Dodgers.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Because then other players are going to want to get paid the way they're getting paid on the Dodgers. And then the other owners, certainly the owners, like the Pittsburgh Pirates, who should be kicked out. Their owners should be kicked out. They're not gonna wanna pay anybody. So then there'll be, like, a lockout and that dumb shit.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

So the Pittsburgh Pirates don't pay well

[Bill Burr]

because they have, like, that whole, you know, somehow, like the collective revenue of the TV contracts. I don't know how it is, but, like, they can somehow own that team and never try to be competitive and still make, like, millions and millions of dollars. No, it's. It's brutal because they were so.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

It's like a tank.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, they've been tanking since Barry Bonds.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Since Willie Starjew.

[Bill Burr]

No, no. Willie Starge was the real, real deal. But they were winning. Them. They won in, like, 61. They won one in the early 70s, and they won in 79 and didn't do so well in the 80s. And somewhere along, these guys came in and bought that team. And that ended up. And they. They. They were just in it for the money. It was terrible.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You know what's crazy is I'm a

[Jada]

big

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yankee fan, but I. I really love that guy on the Dodgers, the Asian guy. Fucking incredible, this guy. He'll pitch a game, he'll hit a home run a game. He'll play the outfit. This guy is fucking.

[Bill Burr]

No, he's.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

He's in Babe Ruth.

[Bill Burr]

He's second coming.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Better than Babe.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Cause he's playing against everybody.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

He's pitching, he's playing the field. He's fucking hitting. He's better than Babe Roof.

[Bill Burr]

Babe Ruth did win a Cy Young for pitching, though.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

He did?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, he did.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I didn't know.

[Jada]

No, I didn't know

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

the Babe. You got any of your intelligent questions over there?

[Jada]

I asked him things that he came here to be asked. Now, let me tell you something.

[Bill Burr]

Listen.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Yo, Bill, man, thank you for coming to the show, man. We.

[Jada]

Don't forget my tickets, man. I'm coming to see you live on tour.

[Bill Burr]

It was an honor to come here. I'm a huge fan of both of you guys, and I love what you're doing here.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Thank you.

[Bill Burr]

And, yeah, this is that Eddie Murphy thing I learned go on every podcast. Everybody comes to your show. It's a better show. So, yeah. Cause they have me on the white guy email list, Live Nation does. So they just put out the blast. And I couldn't figure out why. Cause I would come and I would. You know, wherever I'd be, I'd run into some black guy, would come up to me and be like, oh, man, I love your shit. When are you doing a show? I was like, oh, I was. Last night. I was right over there. How come I didn't know? How come I didn't know?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Do you know what I think?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, that's what they do.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Certain white people don't know they're cool in the hood like that. Like, they just don't. Cause fucking last week, Maury Povich came there, and I fucking thought, like, the best guy in the universe. Like, I didn't know how much I'm a fan of Maury. I'm sitting here like, what the. This is Maury Povich. You are the father. The whole time. I swear to God, I'm like, this shit is fucking.

[Bill Burr]

No, but I think that's the. That's one of the best things as a performer, when someone as different as you could be comes up and says that they like your stuff. You know, some guy from, like, Kazakhstan stopped me on the street and was saying, oh, I love you. I love your stuff. I was just like, all right, that's. That's. You know, you got a comedy club over there.

[Kal Penn]

I'll.

[Bill Burr]

I'll head over.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

You know, you go to Morocco, they got the little guy. You know about the little guy? He ain't got about this little.

[Bill Burr]

All right, his hoodie's up. So I'm. I'm in. I'm in on this one. Okay.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Have you met the little guy? There's a little.

[Bill Burr]

By the way, this did not go unnoticed. That. This matches this. I mean, I don't know how long it takes black guys to get dressed in the morning, but that. That is fucking impressive.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

That is impressive.

[Bill Burr]

That would take me. That would take me six months, Jada, just to find that guy over here.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Let me tell you something. There's a little guy. There's a little guy in Morocco. He's a fucking grown man with a suit this big. And you meet him. He'd be in the clubs and shit like that.

[Bill Burr]

How did you meet this guy?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

In the clubs? But, you know, we got the proof. Fritz Montana came. He's from Morocco. He said he knows the little guy. And then we seen video and pictures. We gotta meet the monster.

[Bill Burr]

Okay, there's a little guy in Morocco. What does he do?

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

He's smaller than a watermelon. They got a picture of him with a suit on a watermelon, sitting like he was on the fucking Mount Rushmore.

[Jada]

He's that little.

[Bill Burr]

He's got a vibe.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

He's the man. He's got a vibe because you said Kazakhstan. The only thing I can think of in Kazakhstan is Borat, Borat, Borat, Borat. No,

[Bill Burr]

I want to hear about. He's alive.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Go Google this guy. That's who he's talking. He's the real guy. Everybody thought he's lying. Yes, I knew it's real.

[Bill Burr]

First of all, he's like six.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

No, he's a grown man.

[Bill Burr]

Where's the camera? Yeah, he still looks like. I'm not saying he's not a dwarf.

[Jada]

Can somebody get how old he is?

[Bill Burr]

All right, okay. He's too young to be in the club. Whatever the. No,

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

I knew a Dominican guy like that, too. Apparently, those little guys.

[Bill Burr]

I think you got a fetish, dude. I've been up to a bunch of countries. I don't run into these little guys and suits.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Believe it in that picture. Bill, he was 20. He was 20. I don't know. No, he's a grown ass man. Nelson died. The one from Fort.

[Jada]

He knows multiple of them.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

South of Domingo. A new guy used to hang out with us in the Bronx. You know who used to hang out with us? Stephen Baldwin. You know Stephen Baldwin? Yes, the handsome brother. He used to come down to the Bronx with us. What happened? The handsome brother. He used to hang out with us.

[Bill Burr]

Yo, I gotta do a benefit tomorrow. Just letting you know if you're gonna wrap my brother.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

All right, we're. Y', all, check this out. This ain't that.

[Jada]

That ain't this.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

It's cracking Kiss.

[Jada]

Make some noise for Bill Burr, baby.

[Bill Burr]

All right. Hey. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you, thank you.

[Joe Cracker Dawn]

Thank you, brother.

[Bill Burr]

Easiest podcast ever.

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[Bill Burr]

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[Bill Burr]

We can't wait to meet you.

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[Bill Burr]

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[Bill Burr]

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[Joe Cracker Dawn]

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[Bill Burr]

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[Joe Cracker Dawn]

This is Martha Stewart from the Martha Stewart Podcast. Ever wonder how to make hosting look effortless? Here's a secret when prepping for cooking and baking, get ahead of the mess with new Reynolds Kitchens countertop prep paper. Just lightly wet the counter so the paper grips. Lay it down and drips and spills stay on the paper, not on your counter. Cleanup is as simple as lifting it away to reveal clean counters. Effortless it is. Thanks to Reynolds Kitchens countertop prep paper. Wet it, set it, prep it. Done. Available in the Reynolds Wrap aisle at Walmart, Target, Amazon and Costco.