Mike Epps tells WILD Jay-Z & DMX stories, talks Dave Chappelle & top 5 standups

Summary

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Joe and Jada Podcast: Mike Epps Tells Wild Jay-Z & DMX Stories, Talks Dave Chappelle & Top 5 Standups

Podcast: Joe and Jada
Hosts: Fat Joe & Jadakiss
Guest: Mike Epps
Release Date: December 30, 2025

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Episode Overview

This vibrant episode of Joe and Jada brings legendary comedian and actor Mike Epps to the couch for a raucous, nostalgic, and no-holds-barred conversation about growing up, the grind of comedy, stories from hip hop’s golden era, and wild nights in New York. Mike, Fat Joe, and Jadakiss dig into deep laughs, real struggle, heartfelt moments, wild DMX encounters, and a passionate debate about the Mount Rushmore of standup comedy. The vibe is authentic—stories flow, jokes land, and the trio offers a masterclass in storytelling and hip hop culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Growing Up & Neighborhood Struggles

(03:00–15:18)

• The trio share vivid memories of growing up in tough neighborhoods, the family pressures of staying out of trouble, and the struggle to get fly as kids.

• Fat Joe remembers the sting of wanting designer clothes and the embarrassment when his father insisted on saving money (“He take you to the store, buy you the fucking plastic coat instead of the leather. Yeah, he'll embarrass me at every course.” – 11:47).

• Mike Epps humorously recounts faking an overdose to get Jordans and ending up having to drink charcoal in the ER, a prank that actually worked:

  “My dad was like, that made you upset. I took and put some pills in the toilet and flushed it and act like I overdosed ... my mother bought me them shoes.” (12:04–13:06)

• They bond over the hard lessons on money, respect, and the adversity that shaped their ambitions.

2. The Drug Game & Street Life

(15:20–18:26)

• Fat Joe speaks candidly about his brother’s rise and fall in the drug trade and the fickleness of street loyalty:

  “I watched my brother, my brother ass kiss you. My brother was kingpin...When he needed a meal, wouldn’t let him in their house…” (16:02–17:30)

• Mike Epps reflects on how the allure of the street is a trap, with loyalty evaporating the minute you’re down:

  “That means the whole game is corrupt and filthy...the streets ain't really—it's really over. With all these cameras, you be a damn fool.” (17:30–18:09)

3. Comedian Grind – No Friends, Only Rivals

(28:09–29:14)

• Mike Epps provides a brutally honest look at the comedy world:

  “I never really had friends in comedy...it's cutthroat for sure. That shit is damn near worse than the rap game...It's dark. It's a dark art form. It don't brighten up until it starts paying you.” (28:09–29:14)

• Discussion turns to the loneliness of the stand-up grind and mental health, referencing Robin Williams and the high suicide rate among comedians. Epps contrasts this with the violence in hip hop (“We get murdered at our prom, y’all.” – 29:37).

4. Legendary Hip Hop Stories: Jay-Z, DMX, and More

Mike Epps Runs Through 1990s NYC

(47:51–50:48)

• Mike reminisces on living in NYC during the 1990s, seeing Jay-Z pre-fame in a polo shirt at Latin Quarters, ghosting through the Bronx and Harlem, and learning the city’s culture:

  “I’ve been around everybody and everything. And I was a ghost. Nobody even seen me. And I said to myself, if I was a hitman, I could have killed the whole hip hop business.” (48:50)

• Shares stories of hosting at Peppermint Lounge in New Jersey (“Motherfucker be dead in front of it, they still got the show going…” – 49:32).

The Wildest DMX & Jay-Z Anecdotes

(75:00–77:19)

• Jadakiss and Epps reveal long-standing beef between DMX and K Solo (“Spellbound. They was in the mining block in Long island somewhere and locked up together…” – 75:08).
• Fat Joe’s legendary story:

  “I got one DMX story. DMX and Big Pun had a show in like, a baby arena in Brooklyn. We went to the gas station and DMX said, yo, hold up one second. And stuck the guy up for his chain and came back with the guy chain on. And I'm like, yo...He got the whole world going ‘Get at me, dawg’ and he stick this [guy] up for his chain in the gas station.” (75:46–76:24)

5. Comedy Mount Rushmore & Dave Chappelle Debate

(52:12–52:59)

• Mike Epps lists his “Mount Rushmore” of standup:
  Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence, Bernie Mac, Robin Harris

• When Joe brings up Dave Chappelle:

  “He ain't up there with them. To me, that's my opinion. Now I have to put him in a category that’s right after them...You can't tell the kids that. Me and him looking up at the same person.” — Mike Epps (52:45–52:59)

• Fat Joe compares this to hip hop’s generational divides (“Say…you would get mad if a [guy] tried to say you…look up to Tim Dog.” – 53:06).

6. The State of Stand-Up & Touring Now

(39:01–39:59)

• Epps discusses the success of the “We The Ones” comedy tour, the shifting lineups, and the challenges and pride of headlining.
• Conversation on joke theft and originality in comedy (“When a big [comedian] steals something from you, you're like, damn…No, a small [comic] stole it from me and got around him…” – 40:22).

7. On Confidence, Fat Joe’s Origin Story, and Self-Belief

(86:42–89:24)

• Fat Joe opens up about always having confidence, even when young and broke:

  “I never had a confidence problem...I own the name Fat Joe since I'm fucking three years old...I got green eyes, I'm fly, smell good, army jacket.” (87:07–87:28)

• Mike Epps on seeing Joe glow up:

  “When I see you in front of them Roll Royces with them outfits…that [man] deserved that shit. Cause I seen that [man] poor.” (61:00–61:11)

8. Cycle of Poverty, Food Stamps, and Breaking Free

(91:16–94:45)

• Mike Epps and Fat Joe reflect deeply on welfare, Section 8, and how systems can trap generations:

  “Black people let the fucking shit go. I'm tired of seeing three generations of mothers on fucking food stamps...It's systemic. To hold you back from competing.” (91:48–92:48)

• They urge listeners to break free, celebrate independence, and reach potential—using their own rise as examples.

9. Power of Strong Partnerships & Podcast Chemistry

(72:53–73:40)

• Mike Epps credits the dynamic between Joe and Jada as what makes the podcast work:

  “Y' all totally different and he's...got a whole different story...Y' all just different...If they would have had another guy that was similar to you or another guy, that shit wouldn't have worked.” (72:53–73:25)

• Fat Joe:

  “You gotta have peanut butter and jelly...he brings me back to life. Peanut butter and jelly.” (73:25–73:33)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I never had friends in comedy...It's cutthroat for sure. That shit is damn near worse than the rap game.” — Mike Epps (28:09)
• “I watched people that my brother bought the tv, the furniture, he bought their whole crib…wouldn’t let them in their house when he needed a meal.” — Fat Joe (17:14)
• “DMX said, yo, hold up one second. And stuck the guy up for his chain and came back with the guy chain on.” — Fat Joe (75:46)
• “He ain't up there with them. To me, that’s my opinion…Now I have to put him in a category that’s right after them.” — Mike Epps, on Dave Chappelle (52:45)
• “You drinking water, you're being healthy...All of this is connected to you being responsible...You got to cover every base.” — Mike Epps (94:45)

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Nostalgic neighborhood stories: 03:00–15:20
• Street life & fickle loyalty: 15:18–18:26
• Comedy’s dark side: 28:09–29:37
• Living in New York City in the 1990s: 47:51–50:48
• Wild DMX stories: 75:00–77:19
• Mount Rushmore Debate: 52:12–52:59
• Touring standup—‘We the Ones’ Comedy Tour: 39:01–39:59
• Self-confidence & Fat Joe’s glow-up: 86:42–89:24
• Systemic poverty & family: 91:16–94:45
• Podcast chemistry: 72:53–73:40

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Episode Tone & Style

Loose, hilarious, and heartfelt—Joe and Jada keep it 100, mixing raw honesty with jokes, tough-love advice, and pure hip hop nostalgia. Mike Epps’ storytelling is magnetic, with a blend of humor and wisdom. It’s a masterclass in locker-room camaraderie and hip hop storytelling, for anyone who wants a genuine dose of realness from three of the culture’s icons.

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Listen If You Want…

• Unfiltered stories from hip hop and comedy legends
• Wild DMX and Jay-Z anecdotes you can’t hear anywhere else
• Honest talk about struggle, unbreakable self-belief, and community
• Deep-dive into the hustle of comedy and why “cutthroat” is an understatement
• Debates about who’s really top 5 in standup
• To laugh hard, relive 1990s NYC, and walk away inspired

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Transcript

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[Fat Joe]

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[Mike Epps]

Style.

[Fat Joe]

Your holiday shopping mission starts [e-mail] or a Saks off 5th store near you. This is Julian Edelman from Games With Names. Football is back. That means it's tailgate time and this season the only meat I'm going to grill is Dietz and Watson. I'm loving the Black Angus Dietz dogs. They're flavor packed and you can tell they are made with the highest quality ingredients. Sundays just got a whole lot better. Visit deetsandwatson.com the right way to learn more about the deets difference. 10 athletes will face the toughest job interview in fitness that will push past physical and mental breaking points. You are the fittest of the fit. Only one of you will leave here with an IFIT contract worth $250,000. This is where mindset comes someone will be eliminated. Pressure is Coming down.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Mike Epps]

This video I'm talking about, you was on welfare.

[Fat Joe]

That's why I'll never hate on you.

[Mike Epps]

When I see you in front of them roll voices with them outfits. I said that deserve that, cuz I seen that po.

[Fat Joe]

What up, y'? All? This is Coke of the Dawn.

[Jada Kiss]

Oh, you know it is your boy Jada Kiss. You know what it is. The Joe and Jada show. Every show legendary, every show iconic. And we got our foot on y' all neck. Our next guest, self explanatory, biggest in the game. Biggest in the game. Well known name in every household. You see him on stages, you see him on TVs, you see him courtside at the games, you might see him in the suite. The only person that phone can ring on the couch and we don't get mad, you know what I mean? See him in some of your best films you ever seen. Your best stand ups. You bump into him in the mall, you might see him anyway. He gonna show you that same love. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for our brother Mike.

[Mike Epps]

Man. I appreciate it, man. Two of my. Two of my favorite guys in the game, you know what I mean?

[Fat Joe]

Y' all gotta get right to it. Mike, let me tell you something. This product right here is ammonia free. Why fight the time when you can rewind the time? Hello. Why fight? Why be 53 when you can be 42? Why be 42 when you can be 31? Available at CVS and Sally's, a stop and shop. I'm just trying to put you on to the. This ain't gonna break.

[Mike Epps]

I had some bad experiences.

[Fat Joe]

That's them guys.

[Mike Epps]

My chin swelled up like a honey bun. My suit, and it had some pus coming out of it. And I went to the emergency, man, and I was so mad, I actually called Top Dog Law. Cause I was gonna sue her. I was gonna sue the hell out of him.

[Fat Joe]

You know what? Don't use the product, brother. Don't use the product. We don't need a guy high profile like Mike X talking about Top Dog Law. But you know, I love that guy who do them commercials. Yeah, I read you had an accident. They chop your foot off. You thought you was that guy. Your shit is ending. Your wife thought you was flying. Not no more. When it comes to that time, call Top Dog Long. The God gonna get you out of your shit. Nah, that guy, he's the best in commercials.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, he is.

[Fat Joe]

Mike Eps, man, you got the young wife, man.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, man, you've living the fucking life. My wife wanted me to tell you that. She said, man, tell Joe that his family be stylish, you know? You know how the women know how to spell families all the time.

[Fat Joe]

You know what I'm saying? But I see you. I said, d, this guy, Mike Eps, man, this guy live a life. And you do whatever the fuck you want. You pull out of old school, you pull out of new school.

[Mike Epps]

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. You know, hey, man, I was just telling a friend of mine that we all had the pleasure to grow up at the time that we grew up in. Because, man, I wouldn't trade that for nothing in the world. Because I remember being really, really young and the sun was shining different. It was like when you was young, it felt like the sun was hotter. Right?

[Jada Kiss]

That's a fact.

[Fat Joe]

Yo, you had to get me. I had to get in the house when the shit went dark.

[Mike Epps]

Me too.

[Fat Joe]

And my mom's a scream, and I'll ignore her. And then TV shows be on. My father take one, whistle be on.

[Jada Kiss]

He.

[Fat Joe]

Everybody knew. They was like, yo, that nigga go upstairs. Cuban caught one whistle. My mom's a call 20 times. Joey, Joey, my father hit it with that Cuban whistle. Niggas just grabbed the ball.

[Mike Epps]

I gotta go.

[Fat Joe]

He gonna come down here, smack the shit out of you.

[Jada Kiss]

Shit that could go all way for Wild or Fordham Road.

[Mike Epps]

Hey there.

[Fat Joe]

Your mom just called me.

[Jada Kiss]

You know, my house is all the.

[Fat Joe]

Way up the block.

[Mike Epps]

Somebody tell you that your mom is calling you. You better get your ass back.

[Fat Joe]

She hit you with a Jason. Jason, no.

[Mike Epps]

Tell everybody your real name.

[Fat Joe]

And listen, I used to play with my moms. I used to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, keep playing. We playing ball. Boy, that shit go the whistle, niggas. Yo, yo, go upstairs.

[Mike Epps]

That nigga. You ever came in the house too late and the food was put up, you like, damn, where the food? Ain't no food on the stove. He said, you missed. Missed it.

[Jada Kiss]

About to sell a house. That stove was totally clean. White people.

[Mike Epps]

You miss. You missed the whole.

[Fat Joe]

Me I missed.

[Jada Kiss]

Come now.

[Mike Epps]

Don't warm it up. You better not. Dirt, warm that up.

[Jada Kiss]

Aluminum foil. I went in refrigerator door.

[Mike Epps]

None of that.

[Fat Joe]

I'm Fat Joe. They never deprived me of a meal.

[Jada Kiss]

They left you.

[Fat Joe]

And I was the type, you know, My sisters, they used to pass me, cuz they skinny. So if we ask some steak or chicken, they're back. Give it to Joey, he'll eat anything. Like, give it to Joey, he'll eat anything.

[Richard Sherman]

I'm over here.

[Mike Epps]

They tried to kill you.

[Richard Sherman]

They tried to kill you.

[Fat Joe]

Yo, I was fucking everybody's food up. They knew, yo, just pass that shit to Joe that shit out of here.

[Mike Epps]

If you could save one boat, what's the main store or bodega in your neighborhood that you would honestly say fucked you up? Cause I know it was one of them. We had Ernest living in my neighborhood. Destroyed me.

[Fat Joe]

No, we had Ernie's. Ernie, now that you look back at it, God bless Ernie. I'm sure he's dead. Yeah, I'm sure he dead.

[Mike Epps]

I'm sure he did.

[Fat Joe]

I hope you're alive, Ernie. I hope you're alive.

[Mike Epps]

That man probably gonna be watching this. To raise up like this.

[Fat Joe]

The man was unsanitary, like a. He had this hurt fur in his ears.

[Jada Kiss]

He.

[Fat Joe]

He didn't groom his ears right. But that made these sausages with the onions with the cheese. Ernie's. When your mother sent you to Ernie's, that was a delicacy. It was like going to City island and some. It was like, yo, we gonna. Cause we even got the 50 cent spice ham. That's just a sandwich. We got Ernie's. Ernie's. A buck 25, buck 50. That's when you could buy a whole grocery with that type of money. I don't know how old you are, but I literally.

[Mike Epps]

I'm 55.

[Fat Joe]

Okay. We the same age.

[Mike Epps]

Same age.

[Fat Joe]

I used to go to the supermarket with my mother with $2 and they get the rice, the chicken, a pack of cigarettes and bread and the milk for $2.

[Jada Kiss]

That's before Christ in the.

[Fat Joe]

You can get off.

[Mike Epps]

No, that nigga was one. And I don't know how I remember that you was one. When that.

[Fat Joe]

We had Royal Farms met food. I love going to the supermarket, man, and the laundromat.

[Mike Epps]

You sit there and fold clothes with your mama and shit.

[Fat Joe]

Other kids, let me tell you something. My mom's got paid.

[Mike Epps]

That laundromat.

[Fat Joe]

My mom's got paid. And she was. She bring that taxi, and she had them fucking bags in her hand. That shit was like, crap. We running out to help her with the bags. Ma, let me help her. She had the old school donuts, two chocolate vanilla with the power and the white brown one. Yeah, that shit was what motherfucker intimates. Ah, the intimates. You run through that shit, the glass of milk, it's over, yo.

[Mike Epps]

And you come out on the porch with one, and one of your friends say, man, go in there and give me one of them. And you Know what? You tell him, man. My mother said we can't get nobody nothing.

[Fat Joe]

Oh, hell no.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, my mother said that. I gotta go in the house right now. I can't share nobody, man. Go in there and give me one of them.

[Fat Joe]

My different. My father was a dictator. We had like, bounty the tissue, bounty. One of my friends, we dropped some and he grabbed the bounty to wipe it. My father was like, yo, what the.

[Mike Epps]

He was like.

[Fat Joe]

He was like, you know how much the bounty cost? Use this over here. Not the bounty. I'm like, oh, my God. I think my friend never came back tomorrow. He grabbed bounty.

[Mike Epps]

So it has something really real to use the bounty.

[Fat Joe]

Yo, Mike. My father may rest in peace. I love him. I love him. But he was different.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, he was different.

[Fat Joe]

He take you to the store, buy you the fucking plastic coat instead of the leather. Yeah, he'll embarrass me at every course.

[Mike Epps]

Because he didn't understand your mind frame of what the following designers was. Because he didn't come from that. He came from. What the fuck did you talk?

[Fat Joe]

Save a dollar?

[Mike Epps]

I don't know what you talk like when I got upset. Cause I couldn't get no Jordan. My dad was like, that made you upset. I took and put some pills in the toilet and flushed it and act like I overdosed. And I'm laying on the ground. And they called the. They called. My mother was saying, oh, God, he killed himself.

[Fat Joe]

He killed himself.

[Mike Epps]

And they called the real paramedics. They showed up. I'm laying on the ground acting like I'm dead. I'm like, oh, Lord.

[Fat Joe]

Oh, shit.

[Mike Epps]

Coming in now.

[Fat Joe]

They gonna blow the spot.

[Mike Epps]

They was hitting my. They knew when they were wrong with me. They was hitting my face and my eye was blinking. They was like, you okay? You okay? So you know what they did? They took me to. They played it all the way out with me. Took me all on the thing and shit. I could hear my brother.

[Fat Joe]

Oh, man.

[Mike Epps]

They took me down there and made me drink some black charcoal. That's like what you take if you overdose and take some pill. And I drunk it because I was. Cause I was trying to get some Jordans, nigga. And let me tell you some crazy shit. My mother bought me them shoes.

[Jada Kiss]

Oh, it worked.

[Mike Epps]

And my dad was mad. It worked. Yeah, I worked. I had to drink. I had to go all the way through that. She said, I'm gonna go ahead and buy them for everybody.

[Fat Joe]

Had the leather bomber. The most disgusting part about it is my mom's gave the man the $150 US go get him his jacket. I go in there with him in June, man, and he start arguing with the man like three, four hours. Everybody come up here. Yo, my pops ain't give a fuck. I don't know how to explain it to you. He arguing with them over $10, yo, 130, 1:30. They come out the back. They like special. They came out with the plastic leather bomber. He bought that shit for like $50. He was like, yo. I was like, yo, yo, I don't want the plastic pop. I don't want the N. Yo, I had the Pl man, the me up.

[Mike Epps]

He didn't know he was hurting you. He thought you looked good in that.

[Fat Joe]

Yo, he came back and gave my mother the $100. Look, $50.

[Mike Epps]

Is that why you're into clothes like that?

[Fat Joe]

Because they with me, man, that hurt.

[Mike Epps]

You didn't it with me.

[Fat Joe]

I was trying to say that I bought three outfits at the beginning of school. I had a green sweatsuit, red one in the blue one. By the middle of the year, I had a green shirt, green pants. I mean, blue pants and red everyday.

[Mike Epps]

Shit was like, that's one thing about New York. I don't know how the fuck y' all grew up here. Because the pressure of being fly is on and popping at a young age, right?

[Jada Kiss]

I'm telling you, it was a time.

[Mike Epps]

At a young age was fucked up.

[Jada Kiss]

You might get a pair of sneakers.

[Mike Epps]

How did you figure it out?

[Fat Joe]

You didn't figured it out when you.

[Jada Kiss]

You figured it out when you got older. But it was the, you know, you go in the sneaker store, you can't go to that rack over there is like a 40 to $60 stay over.

[Fat Joe]

It's still like.

[Mike Epps]

It was angry. That's who end up being criminal.

[Fat Joe]

It's still like can't afford it.

[Mike Epps]

Criminal. Some are haters. The can't afford it.

[Fat Joe]

It's still like that. Still like that to this day. When you go to Bell harbor, you know they got jewelry stores.

[Mike Epps]

A mean broke nigga kill your ass.

[Fat Joe]

Listen, Bell harbor in Miami.

[Mike Epps]

To this day, I've been both of them. Hey, man, I'm not lying. I've been so broke before. When I was younger, it was hard. When my friends be bragging on the nigga. I was one of them N say, shut up. Stop talking about that nigga like that. The dudes was praising the dude, man. I'm like, damn. That's why we can't fucking get none of that.

[Fat Joe]

They do that shit now.

[Mike Epps]

Cause your motherfucking ass. Especially the drug dealer nigga.

[Fat Joe]

Oh, God. If you ever see some motherfucker about.

[Mike Epps]

Kiss a ass to see the drug dealer kiss ass. That's the king of the kiss ass is somebody. And that's a kiss ass. That is not genuine. People that kiss drug dealers. Oh, Lord, that is the worst.

[Fat Joe]

I watched my brother, my brother ass kiss you. My brother was kingpin. I watched him pull up and niggas used to open that door, carry him out. Listen, a nigga picked him up. Listen, meaning acting like this, like they're in the movie. And he pull up fly. Everybody acting like he kick.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fat Joe]

Yo, money man. So chill car.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

Watch the. All through this, he fell off. He have a Buy him a lollipop or ice pop. I watched the vice versa. I watched him pull up like the Godfather. Like, the nigga used to wear the white suit. Walking through the neighborhood, my brother used to come and look like they was paused, sucking them off. Soul legend when he was fucked up. They would not look at this nigga like they was acting like, all right, this, this, that. I seen it with my own eyes. That's prepared me for the future. So when I come up and I get to the bag, they thinking it's like, yo, the money man all over again. I said, no. I watch what y' all did to my brother. I watched people that my brother bought the tv, the furniture, he bought their whole crib. Like, gave it to them, like furniture. This, this, that. Wouldn't let them in their house. When he needed a meal.

[Mike Epps]

You know what they was thinking about? He gave us crack money. Fuck him. He gave us the money that he got from a dope thing. Fuck him.

[Fat Joe]

Sheesh.

[Mike Epps]

That's how they looked at it. That's real shit. Because that means the whole game is corrupt and filthy. That's why I was telling the young dudes. They be so shocked about what happens to them in the streets. I say, man, you didn't know that that come with it. I said, nigga, everything. Anything you could think of. Motherfucker's good. That's why the streets ain't really. It's really over. With all these cameras, you be a damn fool.

[Fat Joe]

They gonna follow you away from wherever. You didn't do it. I knew this Dominican D ain't that crazy.

[Mike Epps]

Back in the day, you could do some and drive off.

[Fat Joe]

Now you get away. But now you.

[Mike Epps]

Now they got the camera. That motherfucker.

[Fat Joe]

I watch Dominican dude all the way.

[Mike Epps]

Up on the highway. Yeah, that follow you all the way.

[Fat Joe]

Back my Brother, what's it like for you?

[Mike Epps]

Yes, sir, being a comedian.

[Jada Kiss]

Shout out to Country Kitchen, man first.

[Mike Epps]

Country Kitchen.

[Fat Joe]

How's that food? I've been watching it on the gram. They took me to the white side over there.

[Mike Epps]

All Star. And when I seen you at the All Star, I was running so much, man, and. But I should have invited.

[Fat Joe]

They didn't take me to Country Kitchen. I'd have been there every day, turning up. I was there every day.

[Mike Epps]

Fire every day.

[Fat Joe]

What was the go to meal? Everything.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, they got everything. Salmon, fish. Yeah, they got everything.

[Fat Joe]

Cornbread was crazy.

[Mike Epps]

You remember how Jimmy's Brine's Cafe. I used to go to Jimmy's Brian's Cafe. I used to do comedy in there.

[Fat Joe]

At Jimmy's Bronze Cafe. Yeah, I used to do that back in them days.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, I used to do comedy in the Jimmy's Bronx Cafe. And I used to do comedy at the Sugar Shack with Rob Stapleton. That was on Jerome Avenue. Damn this in 1990, 91. Me and Tracy Morgan used to drive up. I'd be in the car with Tracy. He had a little. A Mazda. And he was riding. We'd be riding and going, doing them comedy shows and shit. I used to see y', all, man, but you know how it is, man. Y' all had a bunch of niggas. I said, I ain't about to walk up to him and say nothing to them. But I seen y' all at Essos. You remember that club, Essos? Shout out.

[Fat Joe]

My brother, Mayor used to own the Essos.

[Mike Epps]

Man, I seen Mike Tyson at Essos. I seen him outside the club. And I seen you one time, I seen you in a club. It was like in Co Op City. It was back in the day. It was a dingy ass little spot, corks and the.

[Fat Joe]

Dude, you been all over New York.

[Mike Epps]

Oh, man, I used to live in the Bronx. I used to live on a Beach in St. Lawrence.

[Fat Joe]

Hold that thought right there. I gotta go use the bathroom. Dominique Wilkins used to live on the Bronx, too.

[Jada Kiss]

He did?

[Fat Joe]

No, Dominique Wilkers.

[Mike Epps]

Dominique.

[Fat Joe]

Dominique Wilker's never been in the Bronx. Grand Concourse 165, did he? I'm telling you what the.

[Mike Epps]

Man, he must have had a girl up there. Yeah, if you meet girls in them cities, you gonna meet Notice City.

[Jada Kiss]

That's a fact.

[Mike Epps]

I just told my buddy yesterday. I went back in the day. I didn't even know about the Marcy projects. I went, a girl invited me over there. I went in the apartment, and when I came out, it was a hundred Niggas downstairs. And I asked, I said, damn, where the fuck them niggas come from? She said, oh, they live here. I said, I can't walk out there between them. She said, fuck them bitch ass niggas. And we walked out and I swear them niggas was talking shit to all of to me and her. And she. I swear this is the first time I ever heard a girl say suck.

[Fat Joe]

My dick, you ass. I said, what the normal slang.

[Mike Epps]

I never heard those shit like a girl. I said, what, you just hit you? Yeah, man. I used to love the Bronx. I used to go to the Bronx. Bbq, Capone, barbecue BBQ Capone.

[Fat Joe]

What's the white guy?

[Jada Kiss]

Aj.

[Mike Epps]

AJ White.

[Fat Joe]

AJ White. He was. I was a fan of. AJ White was funny. AJ White was funny.

[Mike Epps]

He the one that said, what you. What's Tupac's name spelled backwards? I said, what? He said, kaput. I said, use a dirty motherfucker. I said, they go. I said, his family gonna you up.

[Fat Joe]

Yo, man. It was a time where the comedians can say whatever the they want to say. Actually, we wanted you to say some wild shit like to me, Comedy Jam, you know, comedians. If they censor you or cancel you, then the world is. Nah, it don't don't. Because your shit is. We gotta laugh at ourselves.

[Mike Epps]

Joe, what's the biggest artist you work with?

[Fat Joe]

Me, Jay Z. I work with Nas, I work with Eminem. You work with all work with Jadakiss.

[Mike Epps]

You work with a lot of. I work with.

[Fat Joe]

You know what I'm saying? Budget, Bonton. When you go reggae, you go Budgie. I work with so many people. I was so blessed. The J. Lo's the. I think JLo probably the richest person I worked with. Yo, JLo go one time. This is Fat Fat Joe.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

And she got a show three Fat Joes ago. And she wants me to do some stories, a show with her Jingle Balls or some shit like that, right? And she ran. What's the name of it? Is it Jingle Balls or Jingle Bells? What's the name of. Come on, Mike, it's Jingle Balls.

[Mike Epps]

I think it's Nigga to the same.

[Fat Joe]

I didn't make the name up. Anyway, let me tell a story. She asked me to come. They asked me what was my favorite meal and I said Burger King. And man, they went the whole. Not first class. She paid every ticket on the plane says 100 something seats. It was just us first class, fucking Burger King on every chair.

[Mike Epps]

Wow.

[Fat Joe]

And we came over here to do the show where she don't give JLo, blow the bag, bro. You imagine American Airlines shit was empty, Just us first class. She paid for every ticket.

[Mike Epps]

You think Sue's rendezvous.

[Fat Joe]

She might have been. I don't think she sues Ronda one time. She been there? I don't think she. She worked there.

[Mike Epps]

No, I'm just saying, you think she been in there one time? Yeah, at least once.

[Jada Kiss]

Well, you.

[Fat Joe]

She could have been in the wedge. You know the wedge. That shit was bullet wedge. Like the Rolex.

[Mike Epps]

Is that like Sin City?

[Fat Joe]

Sin City was a little better. Yeah.

[Jada Kiss]

It was under.

[Richard Sherman]

It was.

[Fat Joe]

Wedge was like.

[Mike Epps]

I remember.

[Fat Joe]

I never forget. I took a Scarface in that. He was looking like, yo, these bitches. Like, every bitch got a buck 50 or a bullet scar. That shit, the wedge, the wedge, that shit that hunts point. One way in, one way out.

[Odoo Advertiser]

Woo.

[Mike Epps]

Hunter's Point.

[Fat Joe]

Like, I wouldn't go nowhere the fuck near it right now.

[Mike Epps]

Did you see that pimp movie that Brent Owens did about Hunter's Point? You ain't never seen that happen back in the day. Like the pimp stuff. Hold that, you know?

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Epps]

Well, Brent Owens and it had hunters. Had hunters documentaries. Yeah, you seen that?

[Fat Joe]

It really was like that. And I seen this area right here was where you see these skyscrapers and all this shit, it's called Hudson Yards. This is where all the hoes and pimps was like, real pimps, if you came through here.

[Mike Epps]

And they were everywhere down south.

[Fat Joe]

Down south, everywhere. They came out here. I seen some shit out here one time. Yeah, this was crazy. This was very. This was the pimp.

[Mike Epps]

This was the blade.

[Fat Joe]

This was Hunts Point, was the dirty blade, man. This was it right here. Motherfuckers in Cadillacs and pimps and roll, Rolls Royces, all type of shit. They was getting a lot of money back in them day.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, see, that's the thing about that, about pimping, man, is that you didn't think about New York, you know what I mean? You wouldn't know that unless you.

[Fat Joe]

San Francisco had a lot of pimps when I used to go out there. Minnesota had a lot of pimps.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, that's that Midwest. They on the lake, Minnetonka Lake. They was out there on the Lakeland.

[Fat Joe]

Who was in the Minnetaka Lake? Prince and all.

[Mike Epps]

That's that famous lake. And they go out on the boat. Yeah. You see a boat out there and you see the girls on the boat. You see the pimp, his hair with the perm, he be the girl. You see his hair Float back. That's one thing. Funny thing, man. Like Vegas, if you go to a diner at 4:30 in the morning, you'll see all the pimps, them and the girls will be done and they be all eating. And he'd be sitting there talking to them. Yeah. And passing the ketchup right there. And I told you, get back down there because I gotta. Yeah, put the salt right there. And all the girls be eating it. He said, yeah, that's what I was saying.

[Fat Joe]

In San Francisco, you go in that diner and it'd be nothing but pimps. Yeah.

[Mike Epps]

With all the girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fat Joe]

With dead ass. Serious.

[Mike Epps]

That's Fillmore and Honest. That's.

[Fat Joe]

They got a Hunter's Point too, in San Francisco.

[Mike Epps]

Hunters Point and Fillmore. Yep, in San Francisco. And a Hunter's Point here.

[Fat Joe]

That shit crazy.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, it's crazy, man.

[Fat Joe]

Man, the pimp game, huh? I don't miss those days, huh?

[Mike Epps]

It's kind of.

[Fat Joe]

That's one hustle.

[Mike Epps]

It's like scaring somebody to be with you. Like the girl scared to leave.

[Jada Kiss]

The girls is tough. The girls is tough though.

[Fat Joe]

Cause they.

[Jada Kiss]

They. That's a hell of a job.

[Mike Epps]

It is. It's horrible. It's slimy.

[Fat Joe]

That's horrible.

[Mike Epps]

It's a slimy job.

[Fat Joe]

It's a sad. It's just I never got it. I used to try to get it. When I thought about it, I said, man, these niggas going to hell. Like thinking about what they was doing to them girls.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

Cause it's really easy.

[Mike Epps]

Cause it's really. And that's, I think why they give them so much time is because the manipulation part of it, it's like brainwashing. Like how they did hell. Brainwashing. What's his name? Charles Manson Fighting. Yeah. It's kind of what they gave him the time for.

[Jada Kiss]

Belie mind.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah. Cause if they think you got that much control over somebody mind, you could call, you can make somebody do anything. So that's dangerous, motherfuckers. Yeah, you like. You like the killer. Really.

[Fat Joe]

You.

[Mike Epps]

If you making somebody out of remote control. So I think that's what that is. You know what I mean?

[Fat Joe]

Yeah. That shit crazy in regards to comedy. Yeah. Did you ever have an arch nemesis or what's one show you pulled up to that other people was on the car that you was like, yo, I gotta kill this shit.

[Mike Epps]

Oh, man, all them motherfuckers. I never really had friends in comedy. I can't honestly say that. You know what I mean? The art form itself is not like rap music or any other thing. It's a one man band.

[Fat Joe]

You everything.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, you're everything. You don't. That's why it's, like, so dark. It makes you really, really cocky, and it's kind of hard. You kind of gotta be like in Eddie Murphy in those positions to be like, hey, what's up, man? You know? But coming up in it, that shit is cutthroat for sure. It is. It really is. That shit is damn near worse than the rap game. I'm serious. The shit that didn't happen, the shit I done heard, the shit I ain't even gotta say they names, them niggas is off the chain. I done been off the chain, so I know what it is. It's dark. It's a dark art form. It don't brighten up until it starts paying you. And you can get therapy with it. You can buy your peace a little bit.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah. Cause I see a lot of the comedians commit suicide, all type of shit.

[Mike Epps]

Across the dark lives.

[Fat Joe]

These are the guys that make us laugh. Like, what's my man? Mark and Mindy.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah. Robin Williams.

[Fat Joe]

He was hilarious, bro.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

And, you know, just every time I studied comedians, they always have, like, you know, dark lies.

[Mike Epps]

Well, you guys get shot.

[Fat Joe]

Oh, no. We get murdered at our prom, y'. All. At least we get murdered.

[Mike Epps]

And how dark that is. Get murdered. I guarantee both of you got some damn near life experiences with this. Y' all was in. Y' all didn't. Y' all didn't say anything.

[Fat Joe]

I'll tell you what happened to me one time. I know.

[Mike Epps]

Motherfucker didn't try.

[Fat Joe]

I'll tell you what happened to me one time.

[Mike Epps]

I'm telling you straight up. Pull up.

[Fat Joe]

It's a great club in my Manhattan, and I got the ugly ones with me. Like, the real ugly ones. They all in jail forever, right?

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

We pull up Fat Joe show. It's like a thousand people there. Shit is ram packed, right? When you show up, they give you your second half or whatever the deposit is. We ain't even talking about big money, right? So he said, yo, the man downstairs.

[Mike Epps]

So I go downstairs, how much you think you're getting?

[Fat Joe]

4,000, 7,000 or something. So they had to give me 3,500.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, right?

[Fat Joe]

So I go downstairs. Italian dude sitting there, he mad as hell. Like, yo, my man, we need our second half. He's just ignoring us. It's me and my man Flex. He's like, yo, he got an attitude. I was like, yo, bro, you know, it's a thousand people upstairs to see Fat Joe. This shit is. Ran back with my money. So Flex started talking to him. You know, Flex, Rest in Peace. Was like live. When you start talking crazy, this nigga pulled out the biggest gun and we in the bait. The whole club is partying up there.

[Mike Epps]

Italian dude, we in the big bro.

[Fat Joe]

We turn around, he's busting at us. We running. And I got the ugly ones outside, but they got no clue that this is happening. I got the ugly ones. I got horrible guys with me outside, but this shit is going. We run upstairs, we go outside. Then his people close the gate like a happy land with people in there. A thousand people. They knew the routine. If he shoot at you, close the gates even with the people in there. So we outside, like, come outside this and that. Man, let me tell you something. The next day or something. My man Big Fred, God bless him, he used to work security there. He came with the 3500 and was like, yo, they had shut down the club. That was going to be the last day. You know, the. The police came and said, yo, you got to shut down this club.

[Mike Epps]

So that was a good one.

[Fat Joe]

The Italian was tight. I don't know. He was tight over that. It had nothing to do. But he shot at us, and we ran the fuck up out of there.

[Mike Epps]

That didn't even know who you was.

[Fat Joe]

Was. He ain't give a who I was. He lost his lick. He lost. He lost the ball, the club. He was gonna shoot at anything. He ain't give a. And we was talking extra spicy. You man, y' all smack the out of you. You don't give me my hat. This is that. Pull that out.

[Mike Epps]

Sparking, wasn't it?

[Fat Joe]

Them shits was going. Yeah, through that hallway. We running through that little hole. Hallway, yeah.

[Jada Kiss]

Today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock Bet All Rock. The NBA is finally back. Where's New York at?

[Fat Joe]

Right here.

[Jada Kiss]

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[Fat Joe]

Let's get to it.

[Jada Kiss]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Richard Sherman]

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[Fat Joe]

We the Ones Comedy Tour. Tell us about that.

[Mike Epps]

We the Ones Comedy Tour is a tour that. This is our third year, and, man, we done had some of the best young hot comedians from D.C. young fly to Carlos Miller, Mojo Brooks. Last year we had Lil Duvall, Country Wayne. We switch it up every year, man. This year we got those guys. Mojo brooks, Carls Miller, D.C. young, fly me, J Ski. I'm headlining this year. I usually host it, but this time I'm going up last and I'm gonna be the OG On Look, I hate that, though.

[Fat Joe]

I hate when you. When you, like, you know, Martin called me a couple of times, he do this type shit, and he'll come out and be like, thank you. Like, I'm waiting for.

[Mike Epps]

I don't do that. No, I don't do that.

[Fat Joe]

But you ever got jerked in one of those. I come in, there's a bunch of dudes I don't know.

[Mike Epps]

I'm doing everything.

[Jada Kiss]

Yeah, he's there. You see him all night, fucking it up.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, And I can go up behind all of them and still do 30 minutes. I got that in me, you know, I'm one of them comics.

[Fat Joe]

For a fact, in the comedy, there's definitely gotta be people who. They gotta be biters. It is like back in the days, they used to have guys that hear your rhymes and then they go put it on wax before you as fucking hits. Like with y'. All. You ever heard somebody talking that shit and you like, yo, what the. The fuck? That's my joke.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, the whole fucking business.

[Fat Joe]

Oh, shit. Mike. Yo, Mike. Hey.

[Mike Epps]

Well, I'm gonna tell you some crazy shit. This is how you know that you. When you really own. When a big motherfucker steals something from you and you like, damn. And you saying to yourself, you know what you say when you see a big motherfucker that stole something from you? Said he had to hear from a small motherfucker that stole it from me. You know what I mean? He didn't get it directly from me. No. A small motherfucker stole it from me and got around him and he.

[Fat Joe]

He ran with the way.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, you know that. Oh, a thief. Get. He gone. You remember, take your bicycle. You might not never see it again. You might see the frame on your. Or some. Yeah, man, them are my forks. They got. That bike is dissected and gone.

[Fat Joe]

You know what's crazy? I Stole a truck once.

[Mike Epps]

Right?

[Fat Joe]

Now I'm going keep it real automobile. That's a truck, right? I had the same truck, but this guy had the. The wide body kit, the.

[Sponsor Announcer]

The.

[Fat Joe]

Yo, God bless you, man. I'm. I gave back so much. God covered me for that. And the karma. Well, I stole the truck it was in. We went to a nice neighborhood. They had the fancy hood. They had them.

[Mike Epps]

Somebody.

[Fat Joe]

We took that. Nah, we stole that. We took the. We took it to the shop. They put the hood. The. Was stated when they two chop. It was. Was the flyest truck in the South Bronx sound system. This and that. About six months later, they stole that shit from me, man. They found nothing.

[Mike Epps]

That's right.

[Fat Joe]

Motherfucker took every. That karma come right back. They stole that shit.

[Mike Epps]

See, that's what made me a thief. I got everything that ever happened to me. I was not that yet until it happened to me. I did not fucking get in the streets until the streets happened to me. They stole my bike, and I said, hell, no. I'm stealing bikes. Nigga jumped me. I said, hell, no. I'm jumping niggas. Motherfuckers snuffed me. I said, nope, I'm snuffing niggas. They rob me. I'm robbing niggas.

[Fat Joe]

I'm not lying.

[Mike Epps]

It make you do that.

[Fat Joe]

That's why they say jail's a terrible place. Cause you go in there for one thing. You come back and you learn. Niggas done taught you how to steal everything moving.

[Mike Epps]

That's right. You run into real career criminals. That's why I always said. I said, you know, when you young and you go in one of them badass little kid's house, and you see pictures of him when he young on his mantle, you like, oh, fuck him. He ain't. You know, he ain't that bad. But then it was kids that smell like pee that you know, didn't have parents. They'll kill your ass. That's the motherfucker that's. He's jealous of you. While y' all together, y' all supposed to be shooting at another motherfucker. He's the one that shoots you in the back.

[Fat Joe]

I seen shit like that. I'm telling the truth. Not in person. No, not your kiss. Not in person. I seen it smell like pee. That been through shit.

[Mike Epps]

He killing you, nigga. In a robbery, you got the gun out, he behind you. He shoot you in the back. Pow.

[Fat Joe]

Look, I used to be jealous.

[Mike Epps]

He already wanted jealous of my best friend.

[Fat Joe]

And I had my Mother and father. But his relationship with him and his dad. I used to be so jealous because height was too. I'd be like, damn, my dad wasn't even around. Father, don't hug me like that. The don'. Show me love like that.

[Mike Epps]

I was just getting jealous of you. Just now when you said. Talking about your dad, I was saying, would he shut the fuck up? But I didn't say nothing. I acted like I You saying I.

[Fat Joe]

Was blessed with him even getting the cheap coat. What?

[Mike Epps]

Man, my dad used to pick me and my brother up. And God bless his soul, I love him still. My dad used to go pick me and my brother up and act like he was gone, take us for the weekend and drop us over another lady house. And my mother said, how was it? I was like, we was over a bitch named Pat House all weekend. She was like, pat? I was like, yep, we was over Pat House. This nigga was out with another lady. I don't know what the fuck he was doing. But what I love about him is that he did make sure he knew who he was. So that part of me, I'm glad I'm not a grown man trying to find out where and who my father was. That's a whole nother level of the game that I got friends like that.

[Fat Joe]

Don'T know where it is.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, they act like I'm they daddy sometimes. Yo, and niggas, your friends act like you their daddy? Well, there's ones that don't have a daddy. If you know, when I'm in the position, niggas start acting. They, I ain't fucking with them. I tell the nigga, I ain't your daddy, nigga. And them niggas get mad, I'm gonna kill you, nigga. You said somebody. I ain't sitting like that. But I'm just telling you the nucleus of the mental health part of people, you know what I'm saying? That's some real shit. Somebody that don't know their father, you dealing with a whole nother type of person, you know, it's hard being a stepdad. A lot of them are strong. The strongest people you ever want to meet are people who are missing something.

[Fat Joe]

Yes.

[Mike Epps]

You know what I'm saying? That is the strongest person.

[Fat Joe]

Those are the strongest. They have to go through the most adverse.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, yeah. They the leaders. Like my wife. God bless her, sir. Her dad passed when she was young. She didn't know who he was. But my wife is so powerful and resilient, and she. I'm the bitch when it Come to her. I be sitting there crying about some shit, and she say, oh, man, that's right. I ain't never seen a woman that's stronger than a man like that.

[Fat Joe]

Every now and then, somebody get a.

[Mike Epps]

Flat out of here, man. Every now. You know what? The flag.

[Fat Joe]

Every now and then, somebody get the flag. Huh? He the. Y', all, listen. I ain't the only one that get the flags.

[Mike Epps]

Hey, yeah, nigga. Cause I have seen some pictures with you and your wife, and you looked at humble than a. I looked like I was the.

[Fat Joe]

In the relationship. Yes.

[Mike Epps]

Y' all had pink on and everything. I said, she made him put the pink on the pink Rolls Royce and everything. Let me tell you, look at some flyers in his head. I said, she didn't melt it that way.

[Fat Joe]

All we want is peace and harmony.

[Mike Epps]

All we want is anything. That's it. I'll do anything for that.

[Fat Joe]

All I want is seek the kingdom up. No beef.

[Mike Epps]

Well, I got a TV show coming with Kenya Barris. Me and him wrote a movie.

[Fat Joe]

I got a TV show with Kenya, too, son. Oh, yeah?

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fat Joe]

Kids are hustling Jimmy's Bronx Cafe, baby.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah. The upshot is coming out the last season of the Upshaws, me and Wanda Sykes on Netflix. Only on Netflix, y' all come out January 20th. I got another movie coming out with Kevin Hart. 75. Some. Me and this. I. I don't know the name of the. It was a big butt.

[Fat Joe]

Why?

[Mike Epps]

Big budget, wide movie. You know what I mean? I got a little piece of money out of it, you know?

[Fat Joe]

But you stay working, you stay blessed. Because you see him. It's almost. Comedians are like, America. You either rich or you dirt poor. I don't believe that.

[Jada Kiss]

I see some.

[Fat Joe]

It ain't no middle class. Nah, it ain't. There ain't no middle class. It's either you rich or you poor. You either sleeping in your car.

[Mike Epps]

Cause it's a lot of comedians.

[Fat Joe]

Cause there's a lot of comedians.

[Mike Epps]

And all of our stories are like that. That's why I'm saying, man, I moved to New York in 1991 and didn't know nobody from Indiana.

[Fat Joe]

And what, you thought, like, you was gonna blow up here, like, that's what the deal was.

[Mike Epps]

I came here and lived for 10 years. Rode the trains everywhere. You know, one thing I did, I said, I gotta start wearing what them niggas wear. So I went and Boston, Timberlands, I started learning the club. Cause the shit I had when I got here from Indiana, when I was dating Girls, they was like, you gotta take that shit off. You know, New York girls, they like me, but they was just laughing at my accent. They was like, you gotta take that shit. I had a long leather trench coat with like a peacock chick. Yeah, that motherfucker had a three quarter length with a strapped boyfriend. Strapped ass. My wife, man. My girl said, the girl I was with, she said, you gotta take that shit off. You know what I mean? Yeah, I had some girlfriends, man, all over in the Bronx, man. I done been on the train. I done been on the sixth train with a girl riding, going to do shows. And that was the crazy thing about my journey, is that I was here for 10 years. I've been around everybody and everything. And I was a ghost. Nobody even seen me. And I said to myself, if I was a hitman, I could have killed the whole hip hop business. Yeah, you could have. Because I was at the Shark Bar. I've been in Puffy's restaurant. I done been standing right next to Jay Z at the Latin Quarters. He was about to go on the stage. Nigga had a polo shirt on and a little hat. I swear to God, I'm not lying to you. And I was a ghost. I was sitting there, I watched everything. But I did a lot of comedy shows. I used to do shows with talent, man. I used to host the Peppermint Lounge. It was a club in Jersey off the chain. Motherfucker be dead in front of it. They still got the show going tretch naughty by nature and them coming there every night off the chain. But I be telling this story to tell kids that, especially kids that are not from big cities. Because believe it or not, these small towns and small cities, some of the realest motherfuckers you ever met in your life come from them towns I'm talking about stomped down cold hard. The only way you could really find out street niggas is is to go to the feds and a nigga from Stanky Hall, Texas, Wichita, Kansas, cut your head off, bro. You know what I'm saying? So you have to understand, there's real motherfuckers all over the world. And I came to this city, man, and I didn't have nothing. I got on Def Comedy Jam. The first thing I ever did that I got on here, I was an extra on New York Undercover. It had Malik Yobo and the little Spanish dude. I'm sitting there looking at Malik talking shit. And he laughing at me because I had an accent. He said, man, where you from? I said, I'm from Indiana. And oh, man. Tell you I got some cold stories. I was dating a girl that was in the Marcy projects. This before I even knew anything about Jay Z. Her name was Peanut. And I'm dating her. And I go up, she invite me to the project. Hell yeah.

[Fat Joe]

I go.

[Mike Epps]

She invite me to the project. I go to the projects and I go upstairs. This is the first time I smell busy elevator. I'm talking about, damn. I'm in New York. I'm from Indiana, man. I come downstairs and when I walk out, I mean, before I walk out, I see a hundred niggas stand.

[Fat Joe]

I'm like, where the fuck did they come from?

[Mike Epps]

They on both sides of the door. And she like, oh, fuck them.

[Fat Joe]

Come on.

[Mike Epps]

I'm like, oh, no, ain't no, fuck them, nigga.

[Fat Joe]

Ain't.

[Mike Epps]

But ain't nowhere to go.

[Jada Kiss]

Gotta go through.

[Fat Joe]

They got these skits on Instagram now. Like, with dudes come and take their girl to their crib. And it's in the projects. There's ten niggas in that. Yo, nigga, let me tell you something.

[Mike Epps]

Them niggas was talking shit. They must have knew her. They grew up with her. Cause, yeah, they grew up. I told him that was the first time I ever heard a girl tell him, suck my dick, bitch ass nigga. I said, what the fuck? I ain't never. Because I ain't never heard no girl tell a this. I didn't know you had a dick.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, flagrant out here. It blew my mind.

[Mike Epps]

That was a wild to me. You know what I'm saying? I said, oh, Lord, I'm glad they knew her, because if they didn't know her, they. They were saying her real name.

[Fat Joe]

They were saying, oh, thank God she wasn't saying, because we used to have girls in my business.

[Mike Epps]

Oh, see, I wouldn't have came over.

[Fat Joe]

Oh, no. The shotgun come out, boom. Yo, you got to run your jewels.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, you got to run it. But that was all drug dealer shit.

[Fat Joe]

That's how that shit went. Yeah, Comedy Mount Rushmore.

[Mike Epps]

Come on. Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, or Martin Lawrence, Bernie Mac and Robin Harris. Can't nobody beat that five.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Monster Five.

[Mike Epps]

Who gonna beat that five? Who gonna beat that five?

[Fat Joe]

Man, nobody beating that Richard Pratt. No, you know what? Hold up, yo. There is an exception. I didn't hear Dave Chappelle. Well, Dave Chappelle.

[Mike Epps]

Dave Chappelle is. He's younger than me.

[Fat Joe]

Don't matter.

[Mike Epps]

He ain't up there with them. To me, that's my opinion. Now I have to put him in a category that's right after them. Yeah. You can't tell the kids that. Me and him looking up at the same person. See what I'm saying?

[Fat Joe]

I get it. I'm the same way. Say if it was hip hop, we would get your ll Care Rash. Like that. We ain't gonna mention no.

[Mike Epps]

Like, you would get mad if a nigga tried to say you and, like, wanted you to look up to Tim Dog.

[Fat Joe]

Let me tell you something.

[Mike Epps]

If a try to get you to look up to Tim.

[Fat Joe]

Let me tell you a story, though. That's crazy that he said that.

[Mike Epps]

Hold up, man. How about.

[Fat Joe]

Can I say something? Can I fucking say something? How about none of us in the Bronx know nothing about Tim Dogg. Tim Dog was the first six nine. The nigga had real niggas behind him from the nine. But we never knew where the fuck Tim Dogg was from. He left. He fucked Compton. I'm from the Bronx. I'm from the. We don't know where Tim Dogg is from.

[Mike Epps]

He wasn't from the Bronx.

[Fat Joe]

You can't go to a building and say, this is Tim Dogg's. Nobody knew where he was from. You lying. Many years later. I don't give a fuck. What I'm trying to tell you is I'm trying to think about.

[Mike Epps]

Did some brave shit, though.

[Fat Joe]

He had dudes behind him that were the real deal. That was the 9.

[Mike Epps]

In the 90s.

[Fat Joe]

I dare you try to call your cousin in the Bronx to tell us, where's Tim Grass?

[Mike Epps]

Everybody. And he was saying he was from the Bronx, but he had the west coast niggas mad at the Bronx.

[Fat Joe]

He also had. Listen, that might have started East Coast, west coast beat. Let me explain.

[Mike Epps]

That was the first one.

[Fat Joe]

It's the first blow. I'm trying to tell you. When 6ix9ine was talking that shit.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

I'm asking my mans, who's the guy standing behind him? And they're like, yo, that's such and such. That's such. He's the real deal. Made me think 6ix9ine was real. Cause I'm looking at the video, he's talking all that shit. Everybody behind him is the real deal. Tim dog was the first 6 9. He was out there. Fuck Compton. I'm from New York. This. That. Everybody behind him was the realest I knew. Who's Tim Dog? But I'm just trying to tell you. I try to do the math. After I thought about Tim Dog, and I was like, yo, where Tim Dog from? And I'm asking every in the Bronx. And nobody could point to the building. All the hood, like. Like they knew everybody standing behind them. Yeah, that was. I. God rest in peace. That was all the non guys. They was the real deal.

[Mike Epps]

But him, Tim Dog. Cause the boy some shit.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, I'm telling you. Yo, Google up to Google. Tim Dog. Where's he at T.O. now? I'm telling you the truth.

[Mike Epps]

They do Castle Hill. No, I'm just kidding. He from Castle Hill. I seen him at Vim.

[Fat Joe]

Tim Dog died. God bless Tim Dog.

[Mike Epps]

That nigga was eating in White Castle, man. White Castles on the fdr. You remember that? White Castle.

[Fat Joe]

White Castle still popping.

[Mike Epps]

I used to eat that White Castle. I used to shop at that. Models. I used to live in the Bronx. I'm telling you.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, I know. He talking about by Soundview.

[Mike Epps]

Man, I used to. I swear. I used to go on Fordham Road and shop. And my buddies got out of prison. They used to come. I used to fly them.

[Fat Joe]

Y' all watch them. A dude up on Fordham Road the other day on Instagram. You heard?

[Mike Epps]

Yeah. Kiss.

[Fat Joe]

They beat the brakes off this dude, but he dessert. He was like a homeless dude, butt naked. And some dude got it into him, and he was fighting. He was about to.

[Mike Epps]

Naked.

[Fat Joe]

No, I'm telling. I swear to God. Yo, listen. Yo, Cake. Okay?

[Mike Epps]

Could you believe his penis is gonna touch your leg?

[Fat Joe]

Tell you. Yo, hold up. I'm gonna tell you.

[Mike Epps]

You're gonna hear some meat. You're gonna hear something doing like this. You're gonna hear something. Like something is gonna do like that.

[Fat Joe]

That's my point. This is flagrant, man. Yo, this is foul. Yo, listen. I'm trying to tell you. Yo. All right? I want everybody on here to Google this shit. Listen.

[Mike Epps]

The conversation.

[Fat Joe]

Yo, let me tell a story. Don't, man.

[Mike Epps]

You ran off the road every time.

[Fat Joe]

Okay, now. Now can we. Now can we clear the floor? I don't make this up. I don't make this up. I just tell it like it is. It's a big homeless ass naked on Fordham Road.

[Mike Epps]

Here we go.

[Fat Joe]

He argued. Listen, listen, Mike, he arguing with the dude. The dude try to fight him. The dude try to fight him. He's butt naked. This guy starts the dude up.

[Mike Epps]

The.

[Fat Joe]

The whole neighborhood, Even the pause, the frankfurter man, the ladies, everybody beat this nigga's ass. The butt naked dude. The whole Fordham road jumped them 50. Like, yo, the out of here. Like, yo, when I say the ladies walked by and was like. Like, boom. Like what? Like, he was foul.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

Cause it's kids around 6, 7, 4.

[Mike Epps]

That nigga's ass prolie.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah. Yo, he butt naked in the middle of daytime. It looked like the morning. Yo, yo, Mike, he about to beat the. Out of the kiddo. It's one guy who had the courage to be like, yo, my man, what the you doing? He started beating them up. Up. You hear what I'm saying?

[Mike Epps]

Deal with a. I mean, just.

[Jada Kiss]

Even when it go next to a naked homeless person.

[Fat Joe]

No, no, but he's the only thing about police.

[Mike Epps]

It's hard for them because they got a lot.

[Fat Joe]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Epps]

Up.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, they got a pocket naked ass. I think they do that often. I think they do that often too. That's not a far fetcher. I'm saying I seen the video. Y' all could Google it. The little guy tried to tell him that, my man, you was woman out here like you. I don't know what it was. I couldn't hear the volume.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

But they scrapped. And the butt naked nigga was getting the best of him in the middle, man. They beat the brakes off this month. They hit this nigga with the frankfurter truck. Everybody got in on this shit. You know, in the neighborhood. They don't want to.

[Sponsor Announcer]

They.

[Fat Joe]

They tight at this shit. The nicest guy in the world walked by, stomped that nigga. They all gave it to him. Like everybody, the whole neighborhood.

[Mike Epps]

Are y' all gonna be in the music. I know y' all gonna be in the Hip Hop Museum, man. We got a piece.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, yeah. I with the. I with the Hip Hop Museum. Shout out Ruben Diaz. No, it's gonna be in the process. Bronx to the Bronx by 149th. Yo, what's up?

[Mike Epps]

You don't want to. What they do, man, they saying they doing.

[Fat Joe]

It's in the Bronx, man. Shout out to Rocky. Shout out to Ruben Diaz.

[Mike Epps]

We just.

[Fat Joe]

That's where they gave me the award. It's gonna be in the Bronx where hip hop started.

[Mike Epps]

And the locks, man, I'm telling you. Let me tell you something about the locks.

[Fat Joe]

That's looking fried. I thought I was fried. My guest, he fried the locks.

[Mike Epps]

Got. Cause y' all got fans in Cincinnati and shit like that. With all that, y' all touched a lot of Midwest motherfuckers. Joe got a lot of Florida. They love you in Florida.

[Fat Joe]

The trumpets, huh?

[Mike Epps]

Florida.

[Fat Joe]

They fuck with Joe Crack, huh? But you know, it's people.

[Mike Epps]

It's the older people down in Florida. They don't even know you rap. They just know you as to who you are. And if you say. You ever heard Of Fat Joe's song.

[Fat Joe]

He said, I didn't know he made music.

[Mike Epps]

I said, yeah, that's where. Then after the music, you say, you know, Fat Joe was drug.

[Fat Joe]

I didn't know.

[Mike Epps]

And they see them pictures when you had the big black coat.

[Fat Joe]

No. Yeah, Dapper Dan.

[Mike Epps]

No, this was an army military part. You didn't have no money. You was poor as a motherfucker. In this video, I seen this video I'm talking about. You was on welfare.

[Jada Kiss]

Military.

[Fat Joe]

That's why I never hate on you.

[Mike Epps]

When I see you in front of them roll voices with them outfits, I said, that nigga deserved that shit. Cause I seen that nigga poor.

[Fat Joe]

You see me with the herringbone chain?

[Mike Epps]

Not.

[Fat Joe]

You didn't have nothing.

[Mike Epps]

You had a black. The black army jacket and some boots. You dusty as hell. So when I see you clean, I'm like, oh, that nigga deserve that shit.

[Fat Joe]

This is what I'm trying to say. Jadakus too damn dusty nigga in the first lot. Them first lot. Them first motherfucker.

[Mike Epps]

Ooh. That young Jadakis was going to prison. That's why when I seen Jadicus real father, I said, ain't no way in hell that nice ass man had that dusty ass little boy like that. I said, he didn't do nothing that man told him to do. Could tell. I said, how the hell. I said, that nigga's father look like a principal in high school. How the hell he have a dusty ass crim criminal son like that? I think that boy didn't do nothing that man told him to do.

[Fat Joe]

That's a fact. Yo, man, but thank God, man. We made it through the. We slipped through the cracks, man. And that's what we be trying to like. I told you, I get up every day and I can't believe it. I swear to God. I'm telling you all guys. God is real.

[Mike Epps]

Did you get up?

[Fat Joe]

No. I can't believe that I own a house.

[Mike Epps]

Like, literally.

[Fat Joe]

I can't believe I literally own a house. I'm just saying. I can't believe I own the Metro. Yo, listen, yo, this guy's crazy. I can't believe I own a house. I can't believe I got a car. I can't believe, you know, shit was fucked up when I grew up. This shit is the simple things, the littlest things.

[Mike Epps]

Get mad a little bit sometime when you see. Do you kind of get mad some? I mean, you don't get mad, but sometimes I get a little frustrated with my kids. Because I wish sometimes I Wish they.

[Fat Joe]

I wish they went. They could live a week. They can go back and do a week. And I said, man, just one week.

[Jada Kiss]

He'll come back and be humble as a motherfucker.

[Mike Epps]

I know, man.

[Fat Joe]

You know what the problem is?

[Mike Epps]

I can't even explain it to them. You know what I mean? Never gonna. Yeah, I can't explain it to him. I'm happy that I could do it for him. And I'm mad.

[Fat Joe]

So we didn't toast, Jada. We ain't toast yet. Fact this to the tour. Comedy tours. Yeah, we the ones, y'.

[Mike Epps]

All.

[Fat Joe]

We the ones talk.

[Mike Epps]

Your tickets available right now.

[Jada Kiss]

Wealth, knowledge, yourself. Make sure you get tickets to the comedy tour. Man.

[Fat Joe]

Explain something to you.

[Jada Kiss]

Third year. It's third year, and there's more. More to come.

[Fat Joe]

Yo, Mike, let me explain. Sunday, this podcast.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

Then there's the Joe and Jada.

[Mike Epps]

Y' all doing a great job, man. How many episodes y' all got?

[Fat Joe]

Like 50 something now? Oh, no, we. We hydroplaning right now. Shit. Might so y' all could know. I did.

[Mike Epps]

I did Noriega's first one. The drink champs. I did the first fucking drink champ. I was the first one on there. And look at his ass. That. I'm telling you, this is the best thing that could ever happen to us. And it's good that y' all doing it now, because this scary to burn out if you ain't in. It's over with.

[Fat Joe]

Cause you know I'm telling the truth.

[Mike Epps]

And it's hard to get a good combination because they've been saying.

[Fat Joe]

They've been saying they get in the bag and all that. Now I see everybody's mother and cousin with a podcast. I said, yo, I hope I ain't. It don't. It don't work. We ain't missed. It ain't.

[Mike Epps]

It ain't working.

[Fat Joe]

The wire, the train.

[Mike Epps]

No, it don't.

[Sponsor Announcer]

It don't.

[Mike Epps]

It ain't working. It ain't working.

[Fat Joe]

No, no, no, no. Every somebody coming up to, yo, congratulations on yours. I got mine. I'm like, that's right, brother. Cause I never been a hater. Like, all right, brother, no problem. This guys. I know. They don't even talk two words. They're like, yo, I got my own podcast, yo. It's like, good luck. Like, go ahead. But I'm like, yo, did we miss the golden. The golden age?

[Mike Epps]

No, the combination gotta work. And another thing, too. You gotta always remember, you came in the door already, man. We already made.

[Jada Kiss]

That's the shit. You Say too.

[Mike Epps]

See what I'm saying? It's hard to make yourself and then make yourself. You gotta. I gotta make myself. Now, that's like a Stephen A or something. That's like one out of a million. Somebody that really didn't know to just make their personality just attractive. You know what?

[Fat Joe]

I knew, you know, when I knew we was big?

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

We had Stephen A. Smith two days ago on here. And he shitted on me on my own show. Do you know what that told me when I went home? Thought to myself, I said, I. We gotta be on fire. He made it his business to come on here and on me.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

He see us like, the train is coming, baby. The train is. I'm telling you. When somebody that big turned around and snipe, you say, mike Epps is coming up in the game. And he get little baby kids to diss him. He said, oh, I'm. I must be.

[Jada Kiss]

They, they, they, they.

[Fat Joe]

They feeling the.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, you gotta look at that. Cause they ain't gonna pick on you if you ain't popping on their radar.

[Jada Kiss]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fat Joe]

He said, hold up.

[Mike Epps]

If a motherfucker like to. If he likes too much.

[Fat Joe]

I told him, yo, I want to be the Knicks commentator. He said, nah, nah, nah. That shit ain't gonna work. He like, yo, don't come in this space.

[Mike Epps]

Did he say that?

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, yeah, he said that shit. I agree with him. Cause he said, man, you tell. He said, joe, you tell me. He said, you tell so much stories.

[Mike Epps]

Nobody could tell you what you can't do, man.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, yeah. Stephen A. Was up. I saw what it was us. We. Everybody up. Everybody dizzy right now. They can't believe the that's going on. Mike Epps hit me and see your job in town. Can I pull up? I did this guy sell out stadiums.

[Mike Epps]

I did. I did.

[Fat Joe]

But he know who the hottest is.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, I. I always.

[Fat Joe]

We got the smoking gun.

[Mike Epps]

I always. With Jada and I've been the Is in our hands.

[Fat Joe]

The residents. You. When you shoot. You know when you shoot and you got the firepower that this is off.

[Jada Kiss]

One sip, y'.

[Odoo Advertiser]

All.

[Jada Kiss]

He finished that whole thing. Y ass is in trouble.

[Fat Joe]

Now. Mike, can I talk my talk your pop.

[Mike Epps]

Your pop your.

[Fat Joe]

I said, I seen them and they was Millie Vanillian. I seen them all, and they was Millie Vanilla Vanilli. You don't know what really is youth. They was faking the. And these guys was out here talking big, and they was criticizing, and they never did in hip hop in their life.

[Mike Epps]

And I know never sold A record huh?

[Fat Joe]

Never sold the record. I know the day they saw hey Joe and Jada they knew they shit was over.

[Mike Epps]

Oh yeah.

[Fat Joe]

I don't give a fuck who you how big you is. Whatever the case may is them knew it's over. Why? We got top five dead or alive. We got Fat Joe he don't give Fat Joe don't give a.

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[Mike Epps]

I'm gonna tell you the most powerful thing y' all got going on. I just told Jada Outside is y' all totally different and he's he's got a whole different story come from a similar but not close but a Different area than you. You come from a different area. And man, y' all just different. If y'.

[Fat Joe]

All.

[Mike Epps]

If they would have had another guy that. That was similar to you or another guy, that shit wouldn't have worked. And that's really what is paired up in the podcast thing. It's like you can't really put the same people around each other.

[Fat Joe]

Listen, I thank God for Jada. You gotta have peanut butter and jelly brings me. He brings me back to life. Peanut butter and jelly.

[Mike Epps]

Got it. You know what I mean?

[Fat Joe]

If I had. Imagine my co host was, yay, yo, we have rap beef with the. With guys who ain't even hit when we go to heaven, we already know we got beef.

[Mike Epps]

Or just like me and something.

[Fat Joe]

He slowed me up and be like, yo, krills, chill, Crack, chill. Imagine I had a Tony Ye or alive. Why do we got beef? We can't even come outside.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fat Joe]

Some of these guys can't come outside.

[Mike Epps]

Right, right.

[Fat Joe]

That's another thing.

[Jada Kiss]

Sure.

[Fat Joe]

Some of these guys your kids. Come on, kids. You know it's true.

[Mike Epps]

Well, what if you did.

[Fat Joe]

A lot of these guys did an interview.

[Mike Epps]

What if it was you and Granddaddy iu? Rest in peace.

[Fat Joe]

It's something new from the Granddaddy IU.

[Mike Epps]

Y about real hip hop right there.

[Fat Joe]

They thought I knew the words, yo. Kiss. At least I do the words, right.

[Mike Epps]

Hey, can I ask you some hip hop? Real hip hop questions? We here.

[Fat Joe]

That's what we hear.

[Mike Epps]

K Solo was the first red man.

[Fat Joe]

I don't know if he's the first red man.

[Mike Epps]

Not the first red man, but K.

[Fat Joe]

Solo was really, really, really dope. Spelled out I don't know what it was. Tell your mom. She and my business. Jamal. I thought they was brothers.

[Mike Epps]

Me too. I thought they was bound.

[Fat Joe]

Spellbound.

[Mike Epps]

Spellbound.

[Jada Kiss]

Spellbound is dmx.

[Mike Epps]

Dmx.

[Jada Kiss]

They at Beast in jail.

[Mike Epps]

Did they?

[Jada Kiss]

That's why I want get at me, dog. He say, tell that K Solo that's all over.

[Mike Epps]

Damn, that's some right there.

[Jada Kiss]

Spellbound. When they was in. They was in the mining block in Long island somewhere and locked up together, and they.

[Fat Joe]

They said DMX did it.

[Mike Epps]

Solo got on.

[Richard Sherman]

It's spellbound.

[Mike Epps]

You know who I thought was related to dmx? Because I was around him one time and the nigga's energy was just like him. Father mc. You remember Father mc?

[Fat Joe]

You think Father MC was like.

[Mike Epps]

No, I'm saying that I seen him and he was wild. He was. He was just wild. I didn't think he was like him. But I, I.

[Fat Joe]

No, Father MC was the man, but I didn't see him too recently.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, he was wild as hell. Father MC was.

[Fat Joe]

Listen, I got one DMX story. DMX and Big Pun had a show in like, a baby arena in Brooklyn. We went to the gas station and DMX said, yo, hold up one second. And stuck the guy up for his chain and came back with the guy chain on. And I'm like, yo, there's just no way. This just had the whole world going. Get at me, dawg. And he stick this nigga up for his chain in the gas station. I didn't understand how that happens. Like, I'm like, yo, DMX was. Yo, dmx. You know DMX more than anybody.

[Mike Epps]

I see him, dmx. And he was. He was seeing me at the gas station. He was.

[Fat Joe]

Oh, he was talking shit.

[Mike Epps]

And, man, and he seen my eye. That motherfucker turned into a whole nother person. Yes, ma'.

[Fat Joe]

Am.

[Mike Epps]

And yes, ma'. Am. Thank you. Oh, God bless you. I bet you I love you. I said, damn, what kind of is that? It turned into a sweet. This turn, I'm telling you, turned into a church dude right in front of you, know what I'm saying? Like, he had another.

[Jada Kiss]

Stick up kid to the past.

[Mike Epps]

He came to my show when he was in the back and Dougie Fresh was on the stage and he said DMX was going up. He has some Popeyes. He has some girls with him. He was eating the Popeye. He was on one that night.

[Fat Joe]

DMX was sexy. He was like, fuck that shit.

[Mike Epps]

He said. I said, I'm gonna bring you up. He's like, well, come on on. Bring me up and tell that to get on stage with all this hippity.

[Fat Joe]

Jimmy.

[Mike Epps]

Talking about Dougie Press is up there.

[Jada Kiss]

That sound like extra.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, man, let me tell you something.

[Mike Epps]

That pulled me over that time. Remember he pulled me over, tried to buy my car, and that had a light skinned, was about six.

[Fat Joe]

Six.

[Mike Epps]

That was dusty. He was. He wouldn't even smile. I said, what's up, man? He wouldn't even. Big light skin, had a big square box head. That nigga was dusty. I said, damn, where'd you get this at? Right here. Man ordered this.

[Fat Joe]

You want to know what's crazy? What's wrong with just being security or holding somebody? Like, I like when I come and I see Jadakiss crew, I'm like, yo, what's up? What's good, y'? All? This, this, that, and you see, let's say welcome home, Max B. Max B just came home and I see videos of other rappers going to say what's up to him. And his security is like looking at them like what are you supposed to do? Like are you gonna beat up the rapper that's coming to say hi to him? Welcome home. They looking like, like is that your job? Is that the qualification? My like what is the qualification of it? Like if you know they coming to say hi to the brother, he just came home. Why you looking at dudes like, like what are you getting out of?

[Mike Epps]

As soon as you hear that, that pop, pop, pop, all that is gone.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, that's a little bit different.

[Mike Epps]

Watch out, watch out. Move.

[Fat Joe]

Get on, get.

[Mike Epps]

Watch out.

[Fat Joe]

Get on ground.

[Mike Epps]

You know that pop up. Get here. That pop up. Everybody.

[Fat Joe]

How about you hear the pap I seen shoot at a one time? One shotgun, two nines, four fives. They was like having an okay corral. Pop boom, pop, pop boom. They nuts was hanging in the middle of the block, turned to run away. Pat with the.22. Pat, that's just that. Bing, bing, bing. Dove underneath cars. It was no more. Yeah, it's a different thing when you shooting at somebody who ain't got the hammer. The turned around with the smallest caliber gun and say Pat like ah. Diving underneath the cars. And they don't want that back in the day, them. 22s. Oh yeah.

[Mike Epps]

It's a different story when somebody's shooting back at you.

[Fat Joe]

Don't want that.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. Everybody think when you're shooting back at you.

[Fat Joe]

Just like the catch up the ketchup. Where the catch up at?

[Jada Kiss]

Oh, no, no.

[Mike Epps]

Let me tell you a cold story. I had a buddy that got shot in the stomach. He had the shit pack.

[Jada Kiss]

No flags for that. Take them flags back.

[Mike Epps]

He had a shit pack. Somebody shot him in the stomach. He had a shit pack crack. Didn't nobody know it, but he still taught karate. He was a karate teacher. Somebody did a back kick, kicked the bag.

[Fat Joe]

Bust this.

[Mike Epps]

You know what the word was? You know what the word was?

[Sponsor Announcer]

Yeah.

[Mike Epps]

You know Master McGee got kicked out of him up here at the karate place.

[Jada Kiss]

Master McGee got the kicked out of him.

[Mike Epps]

Kick the bag. Bag busted.

[Fat Joe]

I told a story on here. I got a. Is one of them Fat Joe imaginary stories. Let me tell you one of them Fat Joe imaginary stories. But mayor was there. Well, I tell you I beat up the karate. They think cause they know karate.

[Mike Epps]

You beat a karate, karate.

[Fat Joe]

Used to come to school with the trophy every day.

[Mike Epps]

The moccasins, them little black with the red.

[Fat Joe]

One day he said some wild to me. I said, yo, my man, who the you talking to Karate. He was like, yo, baby, you don't. I beat him up. The karate that don't work in the streets. Yeah, the karate do not work in the streets.

[Mike Epps]

Grab your foot.

[Fat Joe]

I've never seen a guy bust out karate, to be honest with you. I know that's for like discipline or whatever, but I've never seen nobody bust out there. Have you ever seen somebody run out there? Yo, what's up? What's good? What's good?

[Jada Kiss]

This kicked out of the.

[Mike Epps]

Can I tell you who will you up with a suit on the.

[Jada Kiss]

Out of the.

[Mike Epps]

The. The. The Nation of Islam will you up with a suit on 3000.

[Fat Joe]

You'll be like, God damn.

[Mike Epps]

I'm talking about die everything vest and then help you up, brother. You need to get your life together, brother. Yeah, get your life together, brother.

[Fat Joe]

Brother, we could teach you some lessons.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, brother, get on up. Don't ever make me do that to you again, brother. Brother, in the name of Allah, brother, stand on up. Get on up out here.

[Fat Joe]

That's right, that's right, that's right. I'm with you ever do an event? No, I don't want to do an. I know the Nation of Islam. You talking to the wrong guy. I know the Nation of Islam. Shout out my brother Arthur 4x now. He the biggest one in the game. I know all of.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, yeah, Mustafa, yeah, brother Nori and all that. See, now I'm gonna tell you something about the Nation of Islam. If you ever do anything around black people, always call them because what they do is they have the ability to neutralize colored people. I'm serious.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, they do.

[Mike Epps]

I don't know what it is about them. I don't give a damn. And I live in la. That Crips and blood shit. If you bring them around each other, they gonna fight and kill each other. Each other. But when the Nation of Islam is there, I don't know what it is. It's almost like caretakers for the niggas in the streets. I'm serious. Like babysitters. They like babysitters for ignorant.

[Fat Joe]

Because you know what?

[Mike Epps]

When you got somebody, an ignorant motherfucker, just calm down. When they see that tie.

[Fat Joe]

You got somebody who give me one of. Yeah, let me see people and transform them and give them jobs and fucking do positive for they people. And they was just like you. You respect them off. Rip. The respect level is all about. Everything in life is respect.

[Mike Epps]

Have you ever Stole something about models?

[Fat Joe]

Well, I ain't steal nothing from the Nation of Islam. Not a bean pie, nothing, bro.

[Mike Epps]

Models. Have you ever stole something from models?

[Fat Joe]

I stole stuff from a lot of places. I'm gonna be honest with you.

[Mike Epps]

Hey, man, you was hungry. Man, my ass. What? You was hungry.

[Fat Joe]

Hungry like a. We used to play spades in the.

[Mike Epps]

What, did y' all go swimming at Katona Pool?

[Fat Joe]

Katona Pool. We didn't have no poop.

[Mike Epps]

And you was hungry as hell when.

[Fat Joe]

You was done eating Katona Pool, Right. Let me tell you something.

[Mike Epps]

After you swim, go swimming, you be hungry as a motherfucker.

[Fat Joe]

Whoever lose spades gotta go to the bodega and steal. You be like, yo, I want some sweet salt and vinegar chips. I want some Chef Boyardee. Then they tell you to steal the ice cream. You gotta steal the ice cream in front of papi. You will get your ass whooped. Right? So. But we had to. That was the shit. If you lost the spades game, you gotta go in there and steal whatever's on the list and come back with it. When they do catch you, you. You getting your ass whooped like, whoop.

[Mike Epps]

Like.

[Fat Joe]

I've been in places where they'll beat the brakes off you for. For stealing some shit. And then it won't court. They won't put you in jail.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

They'll just whip your ass.

[Mike Epps]

Did you ever see Jeff Red when you was a kid? You ever heard of Jeff Red?

[Fat Joe]

Oh, yeah, I see Jeff Red all the time.

[Mike Epps]

That's a player, ain't it, man? Old school. Jeff Red used to sing. That was from Mount Vernon.

[Fat Joe]

What was the song he sung?

[Mike Epps]

That was Andre Harrell's. One of his first ads. Yeah, his first artist. What about T. Larocque? Did you ever meet him?

[Fat Joe]

I know T. Larocque. Let me tell you about Boogie Down. Let me tell you about T. Le Rock. Commentating, illustrating, description, giving. Let me tell you something. He still comes to my store, shops.

[Mike Epps]

Wow.

[Fat Joe]

Like he ain't a boss.

[Mike Epps]

Something they dropped money at, bro. So many people use this song.

[Fat Joe]

T. Le Rock was ahead of time. He come to my store. You know who else? R.L. from next.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah.

[Fat Joe]

Whenever he in town, he come drop 4 or 5,000 in the store he's doing. I could tell you. Where's your store in Miami now we got three stores up here. The Bronx, Harlem and Washington Heights.

[Jada Kiss]

They just sold me a ten and a half and eight and a half.

[Fat Joe]

I went in, I said, they had the meeting.

[Mike Epps]

I won't be going to your store, sir.

[Fat Joe]

Yo, Mike, I appreciate that.

[Mike Epps]

I was just thinking about going.

[Fat Joe]

They had to meet the quota. I said, yo, I need 10 pairs of Tim sold today. They sold kiss the size 12. That's the oldest. You know what? I blame you. I blame you. You shouldn't have got. Got like that. When he told me that, I knew it wasn't a mistake. He told me that went like this.

[Mike Epps]

He flipped the box up.

[Fat Joe]

Let's just say when he told me that, I said, but they did it. The kiss. I call a FaceTime. They over there laughing. This. I said, yo, this kiss is my partner, man. How y' all gonna do it? Kiss me?

[Jada Kiss]

Act like I have the wrong. This one big leg.

[Mike Epps]

You know what I'm saying?

[Fat Joe]

You had the.

[Mike Epps]

Hey, man, was there any girl that you wanted and you couldn't get when you wasn't famous? And when you got famous, you kind of went looking and. And when you seen her, you couldn't believe you wanted her.

[Fat Joe]

You know, I don't want to lie to you guys. I never had a confidence problem. So even since I was a young nigga, I always had thought you was the shit. I thought I was the shit. And I would go into the spot and I would rap to the baddest shit. Even when you're in Fat.

[Mike Epps]

Fat.

[Fat Joe]

Fat Joe.

[Mike Epps]

Fat.

[Fat Joe]

Fat Joe was walking around thinking he was Prince Charming, my nigga. Like, are you kidding me? I never had a confidence problem. I own the name Fat Joe since I'm fucking three years old. Hey, Fat Joey. I never thought I was like, I'm. I'm walking out there with the best of them. I got green eyes, I'm fly, smell good, army jacket.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, I'm proud of you.

[Fat Joe]

I ain't give a fuck.

[Mike Epps]

I'm proud of you. I'm happy for you. For real.

[Fat Joe]

Fat Tims you in trouble. I tell you one thing. They used to want to whip my ass out there.

[Mike Epps]

Why?

[Fat Joe]

Because I always had the baddest chicks. So what I'm telling you is. And I would. The most ignorant ghetto nigga you ever seen in the history of mankind. Like, I be like, I had this one girl, and the whole neighborhood want to kill me over. And I'd be like, yo, was you.

[Mike Epps]

Mad you was fat?

[Fat Joe]

Such and such come down. N is tight like they mad you even talking to now. N is looking at me like, yo, it's a movie.

[Mike Epps]

I'm like, did they make you feel mad? Was you mad cause you was fat.

[Fat Joe]

I used to drive around the Bronx and Harlem with no shirt on and 10 chains in the jeep with the top off. I never gave a fuck about that. The girl from swv, Coco. Coco from swv. She from my projects. Yeah, she tell me all the time, yo, I know Fat, Fat Joey. No shirt on in the summer, don't give a fuck. I never gave a fuck. I never looked at it as a disability.

[Mike Epps]

No draws on nothing. Just.

[Fat Joe]

I ain't saying that. No draws on.

[Mike Epps]

Just shorts, crack his ass, gold chain.

[Fat Joe]

Not saying that.

[Mike Epps]

You know you ain't had no draws on, man, under them basketball shorts, man. You know you ain't had no draws on up under them basketball shorts, man. You know you had them Knick shorts on with no draws on. Up on them sweaty, stuck on the Bronx on the FDR, sweating. Went 10, 10 on chest hot.

[Jada Kiss]

This ain't that, man.

[Fat Joe]

This the biggest in the fucking game. You hear me?

[Mike Epps]

Me.

[Fat Joe]

Y' all, listen, listen. Yo, Mike, Yo, Mike. I don't give a. Mike. Like, listen, Fat Joe, Fat Joe. I never been scared. I never been unconfident.

[Mike Epps]

You're right. Because you have a beautiful wife. You have.

[Fat Joe]

Oh, my God.

[Mike Epps]

Listen, you have a beautiful wife. And. And I'm not gonna lie. When I first seen y' all together, I was like, how the did he get her? Her? Hey, I got a broke, too.

[Fat Joe]

I was broke, like, this big. I don't give a. Man, I never gave a.

[Mike Epps]

You know what? She must have seen that you was going to lose the weight one day. Nah, she said, I'm going to get a good Joe out of this one day.

[Fat Joe]

She would have to be a scientist to predict. She would have to be a fortune teller to predict. Yo, one day there'll be a drug called Ozempic. He'll lose weight. This shit, this Ozempic shit outta control, huh?

[Mike Epps]

And these niggas made everybody mad at Puffy. I was like, the locks made everybody like, why don't he leave them niggas alone?

[Odoo Advertiser]

Let him go.

[Mike Epps]

God damn, let em go. They were smothering you, man. And then by the time you got on that versus, it was like vindication.

[Fat Joe]

It's like, damn.

[Jada Kiss]

What about when they start hitting animals with those?

[Fat Joe]

What, to go get skinnier animals is.

[Mike Epps]

To hit them with.

[Fat Joe]

Listen, let me tell you something. They need Ozempic. They need to change that shit for liquor, too.

[Mike Epps]

And whatever I knew got shot and survived for being fat.

[Fat Joe]

Yeah, me too.

[Mike Epps]

My buddy got hit 12 times.

[Fat Joe]

The doctor told niggas the same shit. Yo, if you ain't have this fat.

[Mike Epps]

Yeah, you would have survived, right?

[Fat Joe]

Now you would die. But let me tell you something. They died fat niggas instead. That Ozempic is a transforming drug. That shit saving lives. Like, you know they trying to get that, give that shit up for cheap. You know that keep trying to like. Cause you know that saved so many lives.

[Mike Epps]

All of this stuff is linked together. Like when you think about. I mean, like, people are really, really upset with Trump, but if you really, really think about it, if you think about the whole grand scheme of things, what he's taken away from people is really a trickle effect of unhealthy shit. The food stamps. I know nobody is. I never seen nobody spend no food stamps on whole foods. I heard they accept them, but I ain't never seen nobody pull nothing out at the fucking cash.

[Fat Joe]

It ain't enough for that. But you got to because the place.

[Mike Epps]

Is a healthy place to eat. I think people buy Cheetos and bullshit with. And I'm just saying this for black people. I know motherfuckers get mad. Spanish black people, they say there's more white people on food stamps than black people. It may be, but black people let the fucking shit go. I'm tired of seeing three generations of mothers on fucking food stamps. It's over with. Let them take that. You taking away from food stamps. Let that be. Guess what? What this is the start of I don't need that shit no more.

[Fat Joe]

I'mma tell you something, because I was.

[Mike Epps]

There when food stamps came out.

[Fat Joe]

The projects at Food Stamps, they came out in our era. They temporary. They should have been temporary. And so what happens when you stuck in the project?

[Mike Epps]

Think they paying cheap? Yes.

[Fat Joe]

But it stops you from getting a good job of competing or becoming a real boss. So all this is a gimmick? It's systemic. To hold you back from competing?

[Mike Epps]

Yes.

[Fat Joe]

You know what I'm saying? Yes. But I'm not. I'm not.

[Mike Epps]

There are some people that really need it.

[Fat Joe]

There's some people that need it.

[Mike Epps]

There's some people that really need.

[Fat Joe]

I'm not saying the people who work, the people who don't need it now, they owe me some food stamps or whatever the case may be. I get on single parent moms, the pops don't give a fuck. They need that food. And you know that at the time we needed them. Food really came in handy for me, man.

[Mike Epps]

So it's like, I want to buy some now. I know I got a plug to buy or I'll take you up to the safe house. They start selling Lucy's, I sit out There in the parking lot, you bring the groceries out the Lucy's.

[Fat Joe]

But you know what? It's time for everybody to get healthy. It's time for everybody to be independent. It's time for everybody to work for their future. If you're dependent on these things for too long, you're out the game. And think about the potential. I grew up in the projects. Jay Z grew up in the process.

[Mike Epps]

We grew up eating the worst shit.

[Fat Joe]

But imagine if Jay Z would have said yo, I want food stamps. I don't want to compete. I don't want to show how smart I am. I don't want to show him I'm a genius. I'm just, I'm cool with the hundred dollars rent. Then all this shit hove on stamps. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that.

[Mike Epps]

That's what you say. That's, that's what I'm saying is the environment. You said imagine ho. Jay Z on stamps. Stamps. I have family members and with the still the same laugh. Family members. I have family members spending the stamps with that same laugh.

[Fat Joe]

Family members who told me they don't want to be.

[Mike Epps]

I can't imagine.

[Fat Joe]

I got family members who told me, yo, all we want is the stamps. We don't care our rent is paid. This, this, that we don't. Yo, but don't you want to go to college? Don't you want to get ahead? Don't you want a non comfortable. Comfortable here? I've literally, I swear to God, I have family members who don't want to be nothing more. But then on section 8.

[Mike Epps]

You know why Joe? Because the responsibility is too great. The most, the, the scariest thing in the world is responsibility. And, and, and people don't understand that you can manage it, but you gotta manage your personal life too. People don't know. All of us connected. You drinking water, you're being healthy. All of this is connected to you being responsible. That's right. And that responsible, connected to you being a businessman. That responsible, connected to you being one. You missing one link out of that motherfucker. Ain't none ever gonna work. You got to cover every base of that.

[Fat Joe]

And that's what.

[Mike Epps]

And they don't teach the kids that. Tell them go do one of them.

[Fat Joe]

And don't teach the other three of them. With guys in jail, there's a lot of guys been out too long. I gotta catch a case and go back in there cuz they don't want to pay child support.

[Jada Kiss]

Wash your butt.

[Fat Joe]

This ain't that, that ain't this it's cracking kissing noise for Mike Catcher.

[Mike Epps]

That was hot right there, man.

[Commercial Announcer]

Hey, audiobook lovers, I'm Cal Penn.

[Fat Joe]

I'm Ed Helms.

[Commercial Announcer]

Ed and I are inviting you to join the the best sounding book club you've ever heard with our new podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.

[Fat Joe]

Each week we sit down with your.

[Commercial Announcer]

Favorite iHeart podcast hosts and some very.

[Fat Joe]

Special guests to discuss the latest and.

[Commercial Announcer]

Greatest audiobooks from Audible. Listen to HearSay on America's number one podcast network, iHeart Followersay, and start listening on the free iHeartRadio app today.

[Sponsor Announcer]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Fat Joe]

Sports so you can be there live for the biggest, biggest moments. Touchdown and catch. History in the making. Fox1 we live for live streaming now. Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line, but first. There the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.