Jokermen Podcast: Teaser // Billy Joel: A BILL OF GOODS
Release Date: September 5, 2025
Episode Focus: Delving into Billy Joel’s early years, specifically his work with The Hassles and Attila, the hosts explore the musician’s search for identity, failed genre experiments, and infamous missteps.
Main Theme/Purpose
This episode offers a spirited, humorous deep dive into Billy Joel’s pre-fame years, examining his attempts to find artistic direction through bands like The Hassles and the notorious duo Attila. The hosts draw irreverent parallels to other musicians and discuss what Joel’s formative missteps reveal about his outsized ambitions, his knack for mimicry, and the awkward early years that set the stage for his later success.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
The Hassles: Joel’s Quarrymen Moment
- [00:00] The Hassles are described as a typical mid-to-late 60s Long Island doo-wop, pop-rock group, with sound reminiscent of Lou Reed’s early “song factory” work.
- [00:28] B quips, “That’s a Quarryman for—It’s the Joel Quarryman, basically,” aligning The Hassles with The Beatles’ legendary formative group.
Attila: A Two-Man Sonic Experiment (and Soap Opera)
- [00:33] Unlike Reed and Cale, Joel didn’t “meet his John Cale,” but did connect with drummer John Small, leading to the formation of Attila in 1969.
- Attila is characterized as a stripped-down (organ and drums), bizarre take on psychedelic/hard rock/proto-metal. The hosts debate whether this brings anything genuinely new to the genre.
Musical and Personal Infamy
- [01:23] B admits, “I listened to some of it and I didn’t want to listen to more of it.”
- The hosts argue Attila’s existence is necessary for others in the genre to stand out, likening them to forgettable background “stock music.”
- [02:37] A notes, despite its flaws, there is “something kind of impressive” about the sheer noise two people create, even if it’s not pleasant.
The Scandalous Backstory
- Joel’s affair with Small’s wife, Elizabeth Weber—whom he later married—led to Attila’s implosion.
- [03:35] A jokes: “Not a matter of trust, but a matter of tryst. How about that?”
- [03:41] B riffs, “He went and pillaged like a hun, this relationship,” invoking Attila the Hun and Joel’s notorious personal life.
Attila’s Sound and Visual Aesthetic
- [03:58] B acknowledges a sliver of uniqueness but says, “It doesn’t really go well together,” comparing the duo unfavorably to acts like The Doors, Vanilla Fudge, and especially Suicide (“the reason that something like [Suicide] works is because there’s, like, a sense of purpose to it. This just feels like really loud noodling.”).
The Infamous Album Cover
- [06:39] A and B describe the outlandish album art: Joel and Small in faux-ancient costumes (armor, furs), posing in a meat locker, channeling “Ben Hur extra” vibes.
- Visual humor abounds:
- “Billy looks... like Louis XIV or something. He’s got this incredible hat. Pompadour. That’s just overflowing. This mane. Robust mane. And then this kind of, you know, proto pedo mustache.”
- [07:50] B likens Joel to “McCartney in the psychedelic mustache era,” noting the difference in “cherubic” looks.
The “Soulless” Reputation and Joel’s Pop Chameleon Instinct
- [08:40] B reads from Reddit: “This is soulless music and not particularly interesting.”
- The hosts discuss how Attila grew out of the post-garage/psych tradition (comparing them to bands like The Seeds), but existed mostly as a failed bid for hard rock credibility.
- [09:04] A explains that Joel’s ambition was to ride the rising wave of hard rock (Zeppelin, etc.), marking a pattern in his career—chasing whatever’s in fashion:
- “He’s always kind of trying to respond to what’s happening or what’s about to happen in popular culture.”
- [10:34] B summarizes, “Trying to conform to... in some way, trying to fit in.”
- [10:37] A concludes: “Attila is probably the worst possible musical setting for him to try to devote his talents to.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
On Attila’s Musical Value
- B ([01:23]): “I listened to some of it and I didn’t want to listen to more of it.”
- B ([05:14]): “The restraint is just in that there’s two guys... But this racket, you think about… like, suicide… the reason that something like that works is because there’s, like, a sense of purpose to it where this just feels like really loud noodling with a little bit of reverb.”
On Attila’s Album Cover
- A ([06:39]): “They’re in what appears to be, like, Ben Hur extra... Like, suits of armor.”
- A ([07:30]): “Billy looks... like Louis XIV or something. He’s got this incredible hat. Pompadour. That’s just overflowing.”
- B ([07:50]): “He kind of looks like McCartney in the psychedelic mustache era, but... just look at the top of his head…”
On Joel’s Chameleon Tendencies
- A ([09:04]): “...He was enamored with, like, Zeppelin and these kind of hard rock English acts... this was his attempt to kind of jump on that wave ahead of time.”
- A ([10:37]): “Attila is probably the worst possible musical setting for him to try to devote his talents to.”
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 00:00-01:21: The Hassles as Joel’s early aspirational band, Lou Reed comparisons.
- 01:21-03:35: Attila’s formation and sound; debate over uniqueness and value.
- 03:35-05:52: The Elizabeth Weber scandal and band implosion; comparison to Suicide.
- 06:07-08:40: Dissection and mockery of Attila’s album cover and Joel’s look.
- 08:40-10:37: Attila’s critical reputation; Joel’s genre-chasing through his career.
Tone and Style
The conversation is freewheeling, sardonic, and loaded with inside-musician references. There’s both mockery (“really shitty Suicide”) and some grudging respect for the sheer weirdness of Joel’s misfires. The episode lightly skewers Joel's penchant for jumping on musical trends and plays up the oddball, almost Dadaist energy of the Attila project.
Summary for New Listeners
If you’re curious about Billy Joel’s much-maligned “lost years,” this episode is a rollicking, irreverent tour through his early, desperate stabs at musical relevance and personal drama. The Jokermen hosts dissect and lampoon everything from Joel’s unfortunate first stabs at hard rock to the infamous meat-locker album art of Attila—while probing the revealing patterns that would come to define Joel’s long career as a slick genre-surfer and pop contortionist. Relish the scathing critiques, music history deep-cuts, and the epic narrative of an artist failing loudly before his platinum years.