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Craig Ferguson (2:05)

This is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come and see my brand new comedy hour. Well, it's actually, it's about an hour and a half and I don't have an opener because these guys cost money. But what I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while anyway. Come and see me live on the Pants on Fire tour in your region. Tickets are on sale now and we'll be adding more as the Tour continues throughout 2025 and beyond. For a full list of dates, go to thecraigfergusonshow.com See you on the road, my dears. My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast is Joy. I talk to interesting people about what brings them happiness. My guest today is one of my favorite comedians. For my money, I think maybe the best live show I've ever seen one person do comedically. He's a one off at American Treasure. He's Carrot Top. Enjoy. Do you know why? First of all, can I just say how delighted I am to see. I haven't seen you in such a long time. I haven't been to Vegas. I haven't been out west. How are you?

Carrot Top (3:17)

I'm great. And I think it's funny. We talk about you all the time. Literally. Not. I mean, just all the time we see. Because there's a clip in my show right before the show starts with you. I'm on your show and you're. You're. I'm doing this to you. I don't know what I'm doing. You talk about Mike Tyson and I'm going like this and you're going like this. And it was. It's hilarious. Just visually, it's hilarious.

Craig Ferguson (3:36)

Right?

Carrot Top (3:37)

You're in my thoughts every. Every night you're in the show.

Craig Ferguson (3:40)

Well, you know, I always like to talk about what a great show you put on because I remember going to see. I've seen you a few times, but I remember one night when you were doing the. You were doing a show in Hooters for a while. Is that right now?

Carrot Top (3:54)

I might have just been out of Hooters. No, no, no.

Craig Ferguson (3:57)

It was the Hooters. The Hooters casino was.

Carrot Top (3:59)

The Hooters was no MGM grand across from Hooters. You were at Hooters? I was at the MGM Grand.

Craig Ferguson (4:09)

No, I remember now. We went to Hooters. We went to show. We. We went to Hooters just for wings. We went for wings. Yeah, yeah, no, we went to. I remember it was you, me and Ron White. Do you remember?

Carrot Top (4:20)

Yes. Yeah, I just saw Ron. I just saw Ron. Just. My God. I just saw him a couple days ago.

Craig Ferguson (4:27)

One of the greatest comedians who've ever lived. Just amazing comic.

Carrot Top (4:32)

So Ron White comes to my show. You know Ron, he's a character. So he comes back, he says, hey, man, he has. Smoke some. I can't smoke weed back here. He says, what's your dresser room? Smoke some weed. I said, no, no, we can't smoke weed back Here. So he says, let's go to the. This really nice, posh, you know, upscale bar. Me and my friend, him and his girlfriend, and we're. We're sitting there. We haven't even ordered drinks yet. I hear. I. I smell weed. But I'm like, God, I said, someone's smoking weed. And Ron's like, well, no, Sherlock. And I'm like, ron, you. You can't smoke weed in here.

Craig Ferguson (5:06)

And he's like, well, what.

Carrot Top (5:08)

What are they gonna do? Thor, Ron White, and Carrot up out of a bar. And within seconds, they threw us out. And I said. I said, yes, you can't do it. Ron. Just, you know, Ron's those guys. He's like, I'm Ron White. I'm just gonna do. You know, you can't smoke dope.

Craig Ferguson (5:21)

And I'm. He is who he is, man. But how have you been? Is what I'm saying. I haven't seen you in a long time. I haven't seen before COVID since. I see.

Carrot Top (5:30)

I think that's right. I think. Yeah. Covid, that was about the time. It's been that many years. Yeah, I've been doing good still. We're still doing it every night at the Luxor and.

Craig Ferguson (5:42)

Yeah, not.

Carrot Top (5:43)

Not. Not Hooters at the Luxor every night.

Craig Ferguson (5:46)

No, I remember now. We went to Hooters afterwards. I remember because I said. I said, I've never been to Hooters. And you were like, oh, walk over and walk through it. I think we walked across the casino floor once, and I was like, this is the most depressing place I've ever seen in my life. And then we went to somewhere else that I remember now. When I saw you in Vegas, which is the last time I saw you, the act was insanely energetic and very, very, very funny.

Carrot Top (6:11)

Oh, thank you.

Craig Ferguson (6:12)

Is it still as physical as it was? Are you still like, bam, bam, bam, bam, pulling all this stuff through?

Carrot Top (6:17)

It's definitely not as funny, but it's good.

Craig Ferguson (6:21)

Yeah.

Carrot Top (6:21)

You came on a good night. No, it's. It's always fast paced, and it kind of started. It started when I got working Vegas, which is strange because when I'd work on the road, I felt like the crowd would. Would want to. I don't know. The pacing of it was. Was different than in Vegas. It was like a. Like last night we had a show, and it was just. It's like they. They want to. They want to get out. They want to go somewhere. So they're there, they're excited to see you, and then they're like, you know, how long is this gonna go? So I kind of. I go so fast. People last night were saying to me after the show, like, how. How many jokes do you do per minute? I said, I never added it, but I said, my God, it's. It's just one after another. I said, well, I'm always worried about one not working.

Craig Ferguson (7:01)

So I go.

Carrot Top (7:01)

I go into the next one. But it's very fast paced. It's almost too fast paced.

Craig Ferguson (7:05)

It is. How long is the show you do?

Carrot Top (7:07)

About an hour and 25.

Craig Ferguson (7:12)

I mean, that's a. That's a regular land. Do you have an opener?

Carrot Top (7:16)

I have an opener. He's the crowd going. And then. And on. Then I. And I come up and I do my little thing, and. Yeah, then we all go home.

Craig Ferguson (7:24)

How long have you been there? It's like nearly 20 years, maybe. Yeah, this.

Carrot Top (7:27)

This Thanksgiving will be 20 years and that. Crazy. Yeah. 20 years. How.

Craig Ferguson (7:32)

That's nuts. Who's coming to see? You know, people have seen you before. You have to keep changing it.

Carrot Top (7:36)

We have a lot of regulars that come. In fact, I. I would always say, you know, how many people have seen the show before? And it's unbelievable how many people have seen the show before. And I always say the same thing, like, you came back. Like, it's weird.

Craig Ferguson (7:49)

But they.

Carrot Top (7:50)

They do, like, a lot of return visitors, and they. And that's why you got to write so much. You know, the jokes. They. Even though Vegas feel. Always Vegas, you can probably get away with doing the Same show for 10 years because it's always new audiences. And I'm like, it's not. You get. The crowds are savvy, and they. And they know. They know a new bit, and they know. They know that you're on top of something, whether it's political or whether it's pop culture. You know, they talk about the Backstreet Boys from this year. Last night, I see. Do a joke about, you know, Beyonce was just here, you know, so you kind of add in something with what's happening in the world, too.

Craig Ferguson (8:23)

How is Vegas now over the last 20? Well, particularly since I haven't been. Since before COVID I think is. It changed a lot.

Carrot Top (8:32)

I mean. I mean, there's still. That's crazy. Yeah, It's. If they keep building. My joke on my show is, you know, how many hotels they need you. You go to check in, they say, your room's not ready. Are you cleaning it? No, we're building it. I mean, literally, it's just incredible. Now they want to build a baseball stadium. But I mean, it's Vegas.

Craig Ferguson (8:49)

It's.

Carrot Top (8:50)

It's just, it's a crazy town. That's still, you know, it's doing, it's, it's doing great. Summer is always a little bit, you know, 180 degrees out.

Craig Ferguson (8:57)

So, yeah, it's. It gets bad. Where is it right now?

Carrot Top (9:01)

People come. It's amazing. They come here in 200 degrees and they're just walking around outside like, I don't know where they're going. But then they get our room. They get air conditioned.

Craig Ferguson (9:10)

It's interesting to me, Vegas, because it kind of like, you know, you, you get. You can go to casinos anywhere in America now. It's not like you don't have to go to Vegas to gamble and stuff, but people still go.

Carrot Top (9:21)

But. But I'm there.

Craig Ferguson (9:24)

Yeah, but you could tour like a regular comedian instead of just sending your ass in one town, right?

Carrot Top (9:30)

No, no, I think we talk about that all the time. What makes. You know, you're right. You can, you can gamble anywhere. You can gamble where you are right now in New England. You probably have a blackjack table in front of you right now.

Craig Ferguson (9:41)

I, I do. I have a casino. And I. And we have a brothel on the property too. I mean, everything is jam.

Carrot Top (9:47)

But I think that's. I think they're. So they try to keep Vegas kind of a special place. It's not just because of gaming. They have the most incredible restaurants and they do all the celebrity chefs and, you know, it's like we're not even the main drawing mode. You drive down the road, the billboards are chefs and, you know, the pool at Aria and, you know, you still see some shows for comedians, but it's, you know, the restaurants and. Yeah, and injury lawyers, you know.

Craig Ferguson (10:15)

Yeah, the accidentes guy.

Carrot Top (10:18)

Yeah. I mean, but they're all in Vegas. I mean, it's a weird place to have them, but.

Craig Ferguson (10:24)

I don't know, it's. It's kind of like what drew you? I feel like I've talked to you about this before, but I don't know if it was actually just us talking or for. It was. Or if it was on TV or something. But when you, when you went there and started doing that, it's because you were tired of touring, right? It was like you were sick of doing it.

Carrot Top (10:42)

I don't think I'm sick of touring it. They just offered me. They offered me. Well, I had the MGM grand for about 10 years, but it was, it was an in and out kind of Thing it wasn't, it wasn't a full time residency. I would do like two weeks, then I'd go on the road and do shows and come back and do two weeks. So I think it was there five, five times a year, but for two weeks at a time. So it was still a, they would call it, it was on a residency. Now the one I have now is every night, six nights a week for 240 shows. So that's an actual residency. But it happened. I was doing the Vegas one and then David Cobbfield wanted the room full time and of course, you know, cop field, carrot top. So I said, well, there I go. I, I think I had said something in the, to the paper like, yeah, why'd you leave the mgm? I said, david Cockfield maybe disappear? And then he read it. Why didn't Ricky just like, Jesus joke. So I, they offered me the room at the Luxor and there was no, nobody there yet. I was the only show at the Lux Store. It was me and the buffet. And I said, well, this a cool little room. And so we, we did it on a whim for like a year. And then I was thinking, now I want to go back on the road. And then I said, well, I'll do another year. And then it finally turned into, you.

Craig Ferguson (11:57)

Know, time got away.

Carrot Top (11:58)

We are now 20. So it's, it's been an incredible run.

Craig Ferguson (12:01)

I've known you quite a long time. We kind of, we worked together a little bit. You did bits on the show, I come and see you in Vegas, stuff like that. But I know really nothing about your life. And so I thought, I mean, I know you're from Florida and I know that your dad worked in NASA. That's all I know. So today I thought, well, that's all I know it's kind of is all you remember, but it was interesting. So today I thought, you know, I should find out more about Scott's personal life. Just not to ask him about it, but just to know about it. And then I go on the Internet and there's nothing. Yeah, nothing. So what I'm gonna say, I'm not gonna ask you anybody your personal life. I just want to know how you managed to keep it off the Internet. It's unbelievable. Are you very, kind of like, are you very reclusive in. When you're in Vegas, do you kind of go around a disguise or something?

Carrot Top (12:53)

No, I'm definitely not. I just go out. But I, I don't. I am one of those people, I try to stay out of trouble. I don't do. I don't go out and do anything crazy. I don't. I'm never in the news for doing something. I don't. I don't go partying. I don't put myself in the situations. But it's true. Yeah. There's really not anything out there which I think is. Well, except, you know, just people that will come up with crazy crap, you know, and.

Craig Ferguson (13:21)

Yeah, but it's. It's kind of interesting because I think that now the. You know, with social media being what it is, because you and I both predate social media. The. Do you. Do you have a policy with phones in the show and stuff like that?

Carrot Top (13:37)

Do you.

Craig Ferguson (13:37)

Do people not allowed to use them?

Carrot Top (13:39)

I mean, they say not to, but they. People use them. You know, they say, put your stuff away. But I see people all the night filming and kind of guy. And I don't mind it. I mean, you know, why not? You know.

Craig Ferguson (13:50)

Well, it takes the gag away, though, if nothing else. I mean, if they blew a gag for you or if. Or if you're doing a joke, which is. Which, you know, people would get annoyed at if it wasn't in the context of being in a comedy show.

Carrot Top (14:03)

Right, right. Well, that's true. That part is definitely true. Or you get one, they're just on a rant like, poor. I forget who it was. It might have been George Lopez. He was. He was just. He had lost it. Told the crowd, you know, just. And someone's filming him the whole time, like, you know, f you and get out. And, you know, And I was like, God, that sucks. So you always got to keep that in the back of your head, though.

Craig Ferguson (14:25)

Yeah.

Carrot Top (14:27)

Someone's got a phone somewhere.

Craig Ferguson (14:29)

I kind of try and remember not to run to the audience again. I probably have done it, but it's kind of. It's a weird. It's a weird thing, though, because it never. Now, do you remember? Michael Richards is the one I remember. Remember he got. He did all that crazy style, like. Yeah, that was. That's the first cancellation from that kind of thing, as I remember.

Carrot Top (14:54)

I remember, too. That was the first one I remember where it was just. Yeah. Horrible.

Craig Ferguson (14:59)

Yeah, it was pretty bad. It was pretty bad. But it's kind of like with prop comedy and what. I don't even think it's fair to call it prop comedy, what you do, because it's not just prop comedy. I mean, you write stuff. There's material there. And over the years, particularly a while ago, I think now I can't. I Don't see much of it now, but you took a lot of heat back in the day for using props and stuff like that. Like angry, you know, alcoholic comedians were. Would be mean about you all the time. Terrible. Did that get you down a bit?

Carrot Top (15:35)

Oh, absolutely. Everyone's human, you know, so it would bother me and then I would go, you know, and then I would hear like a George Carlin or, you know, someone that I respected, you know, you. I'd go on your show and it would be awesome and it would be validating, you know what I do, you know, and so. But it hurt my feelings to a degree. Unless it was my mom would say, consider the source. So if it was someone, it was coming from someone like you said, an angry comedian somewhere living in a basement, Nebraska, that's never done a show, as opposed to a stand up comic that I respect and appreciate as a comic. But I'd always, you know, I got into the prop thing in the beginning to literally be unique and be genuine. That's why I did it.

Craig Ferguson (16:18)

I wanted to write.

Carrot Top (16:20)

I didn't want to be the guy that was like, oh, he's, he's taking, you know, being another so and so and so I, I thought I would get more respect and more love. Like, wow, this guy's doing something different. And then it turned out it would backfire because I was doing, not only doing props, but I was doing well, you know, I was doing shows and I was, I was doing Big Colleges and everybody's like, how is this guy getting col. How's this guy getting on Regis and Kathie Lee? And I'm like, I don't know. I was just doing, I was just doing what I wanted to do. Yeah. But did get to a point where like almost like, you know, your parents or they just go, you know, I really don't give a anymore. And, you know, you. I kind of hit that a long time ago where I just kind of was like, I could care less what people think. I always want what the audience cares to think and what, you know, my friend, outside of that, you know, it's my audience. If people stop coming, then, you know, then you got to worry about. But the people that come to the show love the show. I have fans that love me and the people that don't love me don't come to the shows, you know.

Craig Ferguson (17:18)

Yeah, no, it's the funniest thing. I mean, you see people chase the tail with that. I remember seeing an interview with Chris Martin from Coldplay because Coldplay get a lot of hate for the music they do from people who don't like Coldplay, obviously. Right, right. And they get a lot of people who love Coldplay. And he said, well, I don't, I don't write songs for people who don't like Coldplay. I write songs for people who like Coldplay. You go, of course you do. That makes perfect sense.

Carrot Top (17:40)

Exactly right. That's a great answer, isn't it? Yeah, great answer. Yeah. I don't write you. I don't write songs for people that don't like Open.

Craig Ferguson (17:47)

Yeah, I'm the singer in Coldplay. I write the songs for Copley. Why would I try and.

Carrot Top (17:52)

Yeah, yeah, that's. That's brilliantly said. And that's kind of. Yeah, what I do, I write. I mean, I. But I do have a lot of stand up now on the show, which is kind of surprising to people unless they see the show live. You know, we've been, we've been talking about this for. Since Jay Leno days where I would say, I want to do a. I want to come out and do a set with no props. And Jay was fine with it. He'd be like. But the people. But the people that would, you know, the producers were like, you know, freak out. Like, they know you're Carrot Top. You have to do your, you know, what you're known for. And I said, well, wouldn't it be fun? So anyway, they. They never let me do it. So I thought maybe it doesn't even have to be a whole special like Netflix, but just something maybe on YouTube. It's going to be, you know, carrot propolis. And I literally come out and I'm just. For 20 minutes, I just tell these stories and I think people would be like, I sitting on a stool and just. And just be funny. And people would be like, what? Because this, the live show has that element. Because it's. You can't.

Craig Ferguson (18:52)

Because I remember it do that.

Carrot Top (18:53)

Well, yeah, you've seen the show. It's even been years. But you can't do that rapid fire prop stuff for an hour and a half. You just can't.

Craig Ferguson (18:58)

No.

Carrot Top (18:59)

So you have to, you have to come into like, you. And you start telling stories about your father at NASA and you start telling stories about your idols in comedy and how you met him. And, you know, people love that. They just, they get dead silent. They can't wait to hear, you know, Don Rickles told me to, you know, get away from him. You know, it was just.

Craig Ferguson (19:20)

He said that to everybody.

Carrot Top (19:22)

Well, I was on a move I was in a movie with him and Betty White. And I mean, it was unbelievable, right? And I had to get in these prosthetics every morning. And I mean, early morning, 4 o' clock in the morning, I get there and they put on all these prosthetics and get me ready for the day, the movie. And Rickles would come in around, you know, eight, and I've already been there four hours in the chair, getting all my makeup on. And he would come in every morning, every morning, and he'd get into the. Walk in the trailer and look over at me go, you still in this? And I. For a month and a half, every day, you're still in this thing? And I'm like, yes, I'm still in it. So I just saw him at a restaurant one night and said, I don't want to bother you. And he says, you are bothering me. Get away from me. And I said, oh, I'm sorry. And he says, no, get over here. And he was just so. He was just so gracious and nice. And, you know, on the setup, I.

Craig Ferguson (20:10)

Became quite friendly with Dawn. Toward the last few years, I got friendly with Don, and he was a remarkable guy. The real kind of the opposite of what you think. And I feel like that happens so much in show business. Yeah, that late night did that to me. And you get that as well. You get people that you meet, like, you're one of those guys. Like, I. When I met you, I like, this is the nicest guy. And then I get. You see your show, and I'm like, this is a great show. But it's. It's kind of like, you know, the. I remember one of the big ones I had was Larry King. I used to make fun of Larry King all the time. And then I met Larry King at the White House Correspondence Dinner, and we became, like, really close friends. For the last, like, 10, 15 years of his life, it was just like, friends. And he was a wonderful guy. And all this stuff that I like, jokes and stuff, I tried to, like, get them expunged from history so you wouldn't see them. Do you ever do a joke about someone and then meet them and regret it?

Carrot Top (21:13)

Oh, yeah, yeah. I don't, but I try not. And I try not to get too mean in person, but I have done.

Craig Ferguson (21:19)

No, you don't. No, that's true.

Carrot Top (21:20)

But I bet still, like, you would do a joke about Larry King. But I've done some about people. And then I. I meet him and I feel horrible that, you know, I made fun of Them. And they were like, you said, lovely people. Yeah, but I never picked on anyone to the point where they were like. I really just went after him in a mean way. I would, you know, something stupid. You call her Bed, Bed, Bath and Beyonce. And then I meet her and she's like, did you call me Bed, Bath and Beyonce? Yes, but you know what?

Craig Ferguson (21:47)

It's not bad.

Carrot Top (21:49)

No, but I mean, it was.

Craig Ferguson (21:50)

I saw you.

Carrot Top (21:51)

I saw you in the show and you called me. I say, oh, yeah, yeah, you know, but. But I don't think I've ever. The only time I did do one Mike Tyson, but I did. And I think I told this story that was when I told you on your show is that when we were doing that, I had done this. This prop. And it was. And it was. It ended up on everything. USA Today and the COVID of LA Times and espn. Everywhere, everywhere, Everyone saw it. And it was so topical. It was a rubber headgear with ears on it so his opponents could chew on him instead of his thing. And so I'm sitting at an award show and Dennis Hopper sits down next to me and Dennis Hopper, I'm like.

Craig Ferguson (22:26)

Oh, my God, I remember Dennis Hopper.

Carrot Top (22:27)

And I say. And he's like, me self doubt. He says. The first thing he says to me, I'm sorry you had to sit next to me, right? And I'm like, that's what I would say to you. You know, he's so nice. I said, I can't believe you know Dennis Hopper. My God. He goes, yeah, I'm sorry. Of all the people I knew, you got me. I'm sorry. And I'm like, how sweet. All of a sudden, Mike Tyson walks up. He goes, mike? And he says to me, you know, Mike? And I said, no. And it didn't dawn on me, you know, I had all these jokes about him. He comes off and they hug. He says, you know, Carrot Top, he looks right, he gets right in my face this close, and he says, you think that's funny? And I said, what? That thing you do with that thing you do, it's funny with me. That make me hurt my feeling. And I said, no, it was just a joke. And he said, well, it's not a joke. And he started screaming at me. Like, Mike Tyson was screaming at me. No, everyone had feelings that. Personal feelings. And that was really mean and disrespectful. You should never do that. Somebody. And I said, I'm. It was just a joke. I apologize. Then he goes, I'm just kidding. And he. He punched Me so hard. I mean, just like that. And I'm still sore from it. It was like nine.

Craig Ferguson (23:26)

Yeah, no, it's just like 12 years ago. Yeah.

Carrot Top (23:29)

So that was scary to me because I thought, oh, God, of all things, don't, don't, you know, don't pick on Ron White. I mean, Tyson, I did with Hulk Hogan. Not Hulk Hogan just passed away.

Craig Ferguson (23:40)

He did, yeah.

Carrot Top (23:41)

And he was a really close friend of mine. I mean, I never met him.

Craig Ferguson (23:45)

I never met him at all, but it's great.

Carrot Top (23:47)

So I do a show in Tampa. He lived in Florida. So I'm doing the show in Tampa, Florida. It's like a double decker, beautiful theater and the show's going great, but there's some guy yelling out. Just yelling. It wasn't heckling necessarily. He was just like, you know, they just try to, you know, hey, you're commenting. You know, I do a joke and.

Craig Ferguson (24:05)

Yeah, right, That's a great joke. Keep going.

Carrot Top (24:07)

Yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah, I like that one. All right, thanks. So it was just weird. The show got over and I had said something. I said, I said something like, I'm never mean, but I said, can you. I, you know, I wrote this without you. I don't need your help. If I need you, I'll call on you, but thanks. And everybody's dead silent. They kind of thought the crowd turned on me. Right. So anyway, the show's over. We go backstage and they said, hey, you have some people here. And I said, okay. And they said, hulk Hogan's here. And I'm like, hulk Hogan? And he comes walking in, he's like, I was trying to yell at you the whole show to get your attention. I'm like, that was you? He goes, yeah. I'm like, I told you. I said, I wonder why. The crowd got quiet. The whole crowd looked back and he's like, oh, shit. I'm not telling Hulk Hogan to shut the fuck up. So the whole crowd's like, I'm not telling him. And I'm like, just shut up, you dumb. And it's Hulk Hogan. So he thought he was helping. He's like, I was trying to get your attention. I was trying to say, scott, Scott.

Craig Ferguson (25:01)

See, I think that's the worst type of heckling. People are heckling and saying mean things to you. You can deal with that. You learn that on your first day. But it's when people who just don't have any CL about what you actually do, no, they're like, that was great. And where did you get that prop And It's. I mean, it's like. Did you make that?

Carrot Top (25:22)

Yeah, yeah. They always. They. Yeah. I don't know. And I did. I always just go, right on. Okay. But there was a guy last night, this white in the front row, just kept saying, I got married. I said, oh, right on to her. I said, oh, okay. And I said, when? And, like, you know, yesterday. I'm like, well, great. I don't know what they wanted me to do for. But so the whole show is revolved around that. I'm like, so we have any. So you guys just. Well, you're still together. That's good. You know, you get married. You get married today, and you come to a Carrot Top show. What is wrong with you?

Craig Ferguson (25:51)

Like, yeah, well, you know, it's a good show. But I gotta say, if I was getting, you know, it's a good show. I don't want. I don't want to be negative about your show. It's a good show. And you know what? If I ever get married again, that's gonna be my honeymoon treat.

Carrot Top (26:05)

Yes. It's gonna come.

Craig Ferguson (26:07)

Yeah.

Carrot Top (26:08)

Yeah.

Craig Ferguson (26:08)

That's why I. I was gonna say that's why I'll never get married together. That's actually a mean thing. That's a mean thing to say.

Carrot Top (26:15)

That's why I'm never gonna get married. Never gonna get married?

Craig Ferguson (26:19)

No. Have you ever been married? I can't find out on the Internet.

Carrot Top (26:22)

No, I. No, no, no.

Craig Ferguson (26:24)

Okay.

Carrot Top (26:25)

No, I just. I didn't. I just never. It's not in my cards. I mean, I just. I. My whole life, I was.

Craig Ferguson (26:30)

I don't know. It's just. You live for that long in Las Vegas. If I lived in Las Vegas for 20 years, I'd be married, like 20 times.

Carrot Top (26:41)

Smart guy. Smart guy. Smart guy. See, I. I.

Craig Ferguson (26:44)

Yes. Yeah. I kind of.

Carrot Top (26:46)

I kind of. I kind of go. The Bill Maher kind of. You know, people always ask him and he gets kind of testy. They'll say, well, you're, you know, 70 and you've never had kids and you're single. You know, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? And he says, absolutely nothing. I'm smart. Like he. It's like, you know, everyone doesn't have to get the house with the. With the kid.

Craig Ferguson (27:07)

Absolutely. And that's always you to live the life you want to live. Absolutely.

Carrot Top (27:12)

That's always been my thing. I just. I wasn't really against marriage. I was just against just the. I'm so. I'm not. I'm not A. And you too, probably you're not a. You were. When you had your show more, you were structured because you had to be at your show every day.

Craig Ferguson (27:29)

Yeah, yeah, but stand up comic, maybe.

Carrot Top (27:32)

Here I'm more structured because of the show I have here. You have to be ready for it every night at a certain time.

Craig Ferguson (27:36)

Right?

Carrot Top (27:36)

Comics in general, are they structured. We just go, we get in a car, we go to the next gig, we go here, we go eat, we go with comics, we go out to dinner and then we go to the next show, we go home, go to sleep, get up and do it again. And girlfriend's like, where are you? I'm at work. What do you mean where am I? Yeah, so that would always annoy me. Like, where are you? I'm getting ready to go on at the show, you know, and the show's over. Where are you? I'm just got done. I'm in this. Like, that would be annoying to me. I'd like just. I would like to have. I just like yes men. I like people just, just.

Craig Ferguson (28:07)

I think they also. I think it's true and I think I've been guilty of this in my life that I will say to someone, you know, why wouldn't you do this? Why wouldn't you do that? But the truth is, and I really do believe this, you're allowed to live the life you want to live, you know, I mean, I don't have to. I will say the one thing about when you said Bill gets testy when people ask him to be fair. I know Bill pretty well and he was tested before they asked him. He was testing when he woke up. Yeah, but he's, he's another interesting stand up Bill Maher, actually. People. I don't think people realize how he's really good, he's really interesting. And oh yeah, like a live show with Bill is an interesting thing to see.

Carrot Top (28:54)

I just, I just saw him at the MGM where I played back in the day, not even a month ago or so. It was phenomenal. I mean, yeah, he's a great stand up. And he said it was his last. That's what he invited me out, he said for his last stand. So I think you'll know you're not, you know, like your final farewell tour. You'll be back. He said, no, this is it. So, yeah, he just wanted to not do stand up anymore. So I was like, okay. I had to go see it, you know, to say this last one. But it was great.

Craig Ferguson (29:25)

I've given it up a couple of times. Yeah. Didn't Ron White retire a couple of times? A couple of times?

Carrot Top (29:34)

Yeah. And came back again.

Craig Ferguson (29:36)

Have you ever retired?

Carrot Top (29:38)

Only in the early days when I just couldn't get it together, couldn't get go, you know, gigs lined up so I quit, got back into it.

Craig Ferguson (29:44)

So you did the retirement first? Like I couldn't get anywhere. Hello, this is Craig Ferguson and I want to let you know I have a brand new stand up comedy special out now on YouTube. It's called I'm so happy and I would be so happy if you checked it out. To watch the special, just go to my YouTube channel, Hecraig FergusonShow and it's just right there. Just click it and play it and it's free. I can't. Look, I'm not gonna come around your house and show you how to do it. If you can't do it, then you can't have it. But if you can figure it out, it's yours.

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Ryan Seacrest (31:41)

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Big Three Basketball Announcer (32:16)

The reviews and ratings are in and Ice Cube's Big three is the surprise hit of the summer and to cap off the season, iHeart presents the Big Three basketball playoffs this Sunday at 3pm Eastern. The remaining four teams battle it out for the right to make the Big Three championship in the most physical, fierce and competitive basketball league in the world. The action starts with the Big three Monster Energy celebrity game where your favorite stars compete in big three three on three basketball. Then the first of two semifinal games features Dwight Howard and the LA Riot taking on Montrez Harrell and Dr. J's first place Chicago triplets. The finale will see popular Miami 305 with stars MVP Michael Beasley and last will make you Dan Stevenson take on Nancy Lieberman's Dallas Power who finished the season winning five straight weeks to capture second place. Can Glenn Rice, Greg Monroe and Paul Millsaps stop Miami's physical assault? Or will Miami and Beasley put an end to Dallas's winning ways? Who will make it to the Big Three championship? This no holds barred action starts Sunday at 3pm Eastern, 12 Pacific only on CBS.

Craig Ferguson (33:21)

Do you miss the. I mean I, I still think about it a little bit like in the old days when I was a, you know, doing stand up in clubs and stuff. For me it was in the uk but the, the kind of, the wildness of it was kind of different to the way it is now. I think that, you know, younger comics, they do a lot of their work online and they do a lot of their work, I mean, which is just a different way of doing it. It's not better or worse, but I feel like maybe they don't get quite the wild nights that maybe people of our generation got that when they're, you go and do a Show like at 2 o' clock in the morning somewhere and stuff. It'd be nuts.

Carrot Top (33:59)

Yeah.

Craig Ferguson (34:00)

Yeah.

Carrot Top (34:01)

I don't know about these young comics. Do they get a chance to have like a lot of them like Internet like you say that social Internet stars of today. There's a lot of them.

Craig Ferguson (34:08)

Yeah.

Carrot Top (34:09)

And I always wonder like if I went to go see them, like how would that be differently? Like have they had, have they done shows and clubs where they got their, you know, or they just, they're just talking To a camera. I mean, it's a different. Probably a different thing.

Craig Ferguson (34:22)

I think it's a different skill, for sure. I think some of them. Some of them do and some of them don't. I mean, I've talked to a lot of the guys that I've talked to, younger guys, not necessarily super young, but younger. They do podcasts like are you garbage? Or being Ian with Jordan? And those podcasts that these. They're people maybe in their 30s, mid to late 30s. And they're real comics. They're good at. They're good at. But they, you know, they'll do the Village underground or, you know, or they do clubs and stuff. They're real comics and they're really good. But I think some of the real younger ones, all they want to do is the. Right.

Carrot Top (35:03)

Right.

Craig Ferguson (35:03)

Yeah. Social media stuff, right?

Carrot Top (35:05)

Why? Why, why. Why go to a club? Right?

Craig Ferguson (35:09)

Yeah, I guess. I mean, do you do it? Do I. I mean, I don't. I don't really. I have. I mean, obviously people put stuff on Instagram and Twitter and stuff for. For me, but I pay them to do it. I don't do it. Do you have.

Carrot Top (35:23)

I have people do it, but I also. If I. If I come up with something, like, just like, I was just in home. In Orlando a week ago. If something happens funny, like on my. So in my day, personal day, I'll post it. And people can always tell the ones that I do for me and the ones that my people post. Yeah, but, you know, I was just on a plane. I thought this was great. We. We. The. The lady comes on. She says, good morning, everybody. Welcome aboard. We have. We have someone with the peanut allergy on the airplane. So we were. We were. We were wondering if everyone could be so nice as to. If you have anything with peanuts, we would appreciate you not opening them. And the person with the peanut allergy would really appreciate. Was kind of a weird quiet over the. Over the plane. And this guy next to me, and I want to say, just for references, literally the cable guy kind of guy, he got it, you know, just him, big guy with his beard and his hat. He. He reached down and grabbed a bag of peanut M M's and he ripped it open. And he looked. I swear he looked right over at me. He goes, it'll be all right. And I just thought. And I just started laughing. I said, that's hilarious. So I get my book out and I start writing. He says, is that going in your show? I said, yeah, that's great. And he says, you're not gonna, you're not gonna tell him it's me, right? I say no. So I got my phone, I said, well, now I can get your picture. I will add was just so funny. This guy was just, that was just brilliant. You know, it's like, they'll be all right.

Craig Ferguson (36:51)

To be all right. All right. It's funny, though, that with social media, I kind of like, I used to do what you do. Like, I'd go in it and I'd, I'd, you know, but I'd also, I'd do it personally, and I had other people do it. But I found out that if I have the Instagram app, I'm so addictive as a person, I'm in it. I just go in it. So I'm too addictive for all of that stuff. I just can't do it. There's only one addiction that I've never felt, never kind of grabbed me. And it was weirdly enough, gambling. I have no interest in gambling. Never, never touched it, never been anywhere near it.

Carrot Top (37:32)

Same. And that's strange. All the years that you and I both have worked in casinos, I've been, I mean, my life is Vegas. People always say, how do you do that? I'm like, what do you mean? Like, how do you. I said, I don't gamble. Like, you don't ever? I'm like, never. I don't want to be around smoke. I don't want to be around people.

Craig Ferguson (37:48)

Yeah.

Carrot Top (37:48)

I don't like, I don't like counting under pressure.

Craig Ferguson (37:51)

Yeah, I do. It's funny. I've tried it a couple of times. Nine and five.

Carrot Top (37:59)

I hate that. I hate. And they're all like, you gonna hit that? I'm like, am I supposed to? And like, you don't know how to play. I'm like, no. You know, no, can't do it.

Craig Ferguson (38:06)

I, I, I tried it a couple of times, and I, I, it bores me. It just bores me.

Carrot Top (38:12)

Yeah. I don't want to do anything. I got other ways to lose money. Agreed.

Craig Ferguson (38:16)

Yeah. And, and I feel like as well, if you are a performer. Look, the truth is, if you're anybody, but I think performer, you're very aware of it. There's enough gamble just being a person.

Carrot Top (38:32)

Just being a person and alive.

Craig Ferguson (38:34)

Yeah. You know, just like walking around. It's all that. So Yuka in Vegas, I guess it would have happened in the last 20 years. You get super into, like, going to the gym. You changed your body a lot, didn't you? I mean, I see you, like, you're really ripped and you have been for a long time. Was that a thing because you were in Vegas and because you were free during the day and stuff like that?

Carrot Top (38:56)

Kind of two things. I started working out when I was 12 or 13 years old. I was on the wrestling team.

Craig Ferguson (39:02)

Really? I didn't know I was as young as I was.

Carrot Top (39:04)

I was a swimmer and I got on the wrestling team at like 14 and we had to lift weights and I was like lift weights and swimming and wrestling. And then. So I was always an athlete to a degree. And then when I got into comedy, I just started when I was on the road, really, I started bringing my own weights all. My opening accident, remember I did this, I'd bring my own little weights and put them in my truck when I drove. So I get to the gig, I would sit in the parking lot and do like just some little workout. And I've always been, I mean, go back, look from 1985, whatever it was. And then when I got to Vegas, I was, I was, I literally had all day, there was nothing. So I'm not going to just sit in my. So I started going to the gym a little bit more and that I probably put on. Maybe I got a little crazy into it and then it was like a year of it and I was like, yeah, this is. What am I doing? I'm not, I'm not a workout guy. I mean, I'm a workout guy, but I'm not a bodybuilder. So I completely stopped again. And so I, you know, people always. I thought you were bigger, you know. No, I've always been the same. Pretty much I weigh 1:58. People think I was. People think I weigh 200 pounds because I have a huge. But other than that, it's just.

Craig Ferguson (40:12)

Well, that, that, I mean that's. But you take it off. People don't know it's a strap on. It's part of the show. It's part of.

Carrot Top (40:21)

They don't know. They don't know that. They don't know.

Craig Ferguson (40:23)

They don't know that it's a 50 pound strap on penis.

Carrot Top (40:28)

I mean, they eventually know and that's. How could I just still be single?

Craig Ferguson (40:32)

Well, let me ask you this. You keep it fit. Is it. I can't remember it. I don't remember being offended by a single thing you did. But is it clean? The show? I can't remember.

Carrot Top (40:44)

I mean, mostly, yeah. I mean it really is. I mean it's all silly. I mean there's, there's, there's A couple things that can be innuendoed, I think. But no, it's not. It's a clean show. Absolutely. I mean, really. I guess I talk to Vegas, talk about, you know, it's. No, I'm trying to think. The dirtiest joke I have. I don't even know if I have, like, the dirtiest joke I have. I had one. I had one. Well, I had one I might have done on your show. And I think when I did it, you guys, let me do it. I'll. I'll tell you the joke. So.

Craig Ferguson (41:15)

All right.

Carrot Top (41:15)

When I did the Tonight show, it was a podium for. It had the presidential seal on it, and it had these bells, like, true, false. And I'd have buttons that would control it, and I would do. It was Clinton back then. So I'd say, I did not have. And it go. I did not. And then, you know, ding, ding. It killed. So at the end, though, I need to have a, you know, a punchline, because that was funny, but it needed a big bang again. So I would do the whole Clinton. It was a good Clinton. It was good. And then all of a sudden, I hit a foot pedal and this Monica Winsky head would come up just. Just.

Craig Ferguson (41:52)

Just below the. Yeah.

Carrot Top (41:54)

You know, and I go, not now. And I'd go back to the bit. Well, that was the end, you know, Killed. So I go on the. The Leno. And this is great, because I'm. I'm rehearsing it. I. I show the whole. The lady. The. The Standards and Practices lady who loved me and also hated me. She gets up, we get done with the whole thing, and she walks over and she's like, you're good. And I'm like, honestly? She goes, yes. It's even the podium. She goes, yeah. So I'm all excited. I'm back in the dress room getting ready, and she comes in, like, a minute before the show starts, and she goes, everything's good, but you can't. You know, you can't do with the podium. You can't. You can't put her head down.

Craig Ferguson (42:31)

Do. Do the head thing. Yeah, right.

Carrot Top (42:33)

What the heck could come up? I did. I just. I just couldn't put my hand and put it down.

Craig Ferguson (42:37)

Oh, it could come up, but it can't go down.

Carrot Top (42:38)

Yeah. So I said. So I go to the prop guys. I'm like, can you make it. Can you make it work? It can get. When I. When I push it up, it'll go back down. And they're like. They looked at it. I mean, I made it myself and it, it wouldn't work. So I, I, I go on and I'm just, you know, just don't use your hand to push it down. So I'm doing the joke. It's killing the whole thing. The head comes up, the crowd goes nuts. And I just use my elbow because it had to go down. I couldn't just, it was like, I laugh, but where's the big laugh? So I went like that. Not now. And then, you know, it killed. And I get over and she comes, but now we, I'm in trouble. Not trouble, but she said we had to, we have to edit it now on the east coast. Because I'm like, why did you told you not. I told you not to. I said, well, I can't. I didn't have an ending.

Craig Ferguson (43:31)

Yeah.

Carrot Top (43:34)

You got to be clever. You can't use your hands, you know.

Craig Ferguson (43:37)

Yeah, it's hard.

Carrot Top (43:38)

Sometimes the glove don't fit, you know.

Craig Ferguson (43:41)

You must have quit. Well, if the gloves don't fit, you must acquit. That proves that if it rhymes, you don't have to do the times. If it rhymes, no times, no times. No times, no times in jail for you.

Commercial Announcer (44:01)

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Ryan Seacrest (44:29)

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through August 26th, it's back to deals time where you can enjoy storewide deals and earn four times points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Califia Farms, Pillsbury Crescent, Yoplait, General Mills, Prego, Bertoli, Heinz and Kraft. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Apply Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

Big Three Basketball Announcer (45:00)

The reviews and ratings are in and Ice Cube's Big Three is the surprise hit of the summer. And to cap off the season, iHeart presents the Big Three Big Three basketball playoffs this Sunday at 3pm Eastern. The remaining four teams battle it out for the right to make the Big three championship in the most physical, fierce and competitive basketball league in the world. The action starts with the Big 3 Monster Energy Celebrity Game where your favorite stars compete in Big 33 on 3 basketball. Then the first of two semifinal games features Dwight Howard and the LA Riot taking on Montrez Harrell and Dr. J's first place Chicago Triplets. The finale will be see popular Miami 305 with stars MVP Michael Beasley and Lance will make you Dan Stevenson take on Nancy Lieberman's Dallas power who finished the season winning five straight weeks to capture second place. Can Glenn Rice, Greg Monroe and Paul Millsap stop Miami's physical assault? Or will Miami and Beasley put an end to Dallas's winning ways? Who will make it to the Big Three championship? This no holds barred action starts Sunday at 3pm Eastern, 12 Pacific only on.

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Craig Ferguson (47:04)

Did you ever meet O.J. simpson? He was in Vegas a lot.

Carrot Top (47:07)

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew him really well. Yeah. I mean it was one of those interesting things though because for, for, for, for the longest time everyone would say like, you know, I see OJ Every day and I'm like, I'm out. I never seen OJ Ever and ever. And I'm like, how come I've not seen O.J. you know, not that I wanted to see him. I was just, why have I not seen him? He's everywhere I'm at, you know, so I go to this restaurant he's always at one day and I sit down and sure enough I just sit down and I look over and I'm like, God dang if it's not O.J. right? I mean, right next to me. And so I'm I'm like, get my phone out. He's talking to somebody. And I. He's playing his next murder. And I'm. I see this, like, this knife, you know, on my thing. So it's like a hack. It's like a hack joke, right? Everybody does this. So I have my camera and I go. I said, I'm sitting next to. Okay, so I'm going to put this away. And I put on my Instagram, right? It was really funny. Five minutes after I posted, right? I'm like, only in Vegas, fucking OJ did it. This guy comes in who's his best friend, his name is Scott, like me. He says he's a Juice Joe, OJ and he's. He sees me, he's like, scott. I said, hey. And he's like, you know O.J. you know, carrot Top? And I go, no, hey. And he goes, oh, how are you doing? And I said, great. He says, you gotta watch. You gotta follow his Instagram. His stuff is so good. And I'm like, oh, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete. Did you delete? Did you get second seconds after I did? I'm like, oh, Jesus, you gotta follow his Instagram. Take that one off real quick.

Craig Ferguson (48:49)

Do you have a lot of followers on Instagram? Do you have a lot of people following you?

Carrot Top (48:52)

A billion people.

Craig Ferguson (48:54)

A billion. That's great. Congratulations.

Carrot Top (48:57)

I'm the best. No, I have. I don't. Yeah, I follow a lot. I mean, compared to some. No, I don't have millions, because I don't. I don't show my boobies, but I mean, look, my boobs. I think we could get that number up.

Craig Ferguson (49:09)

Well, you know, you. That's your only fans account. I also have people that do that for me.

Carrot Top (49:14)

I do have that.

Craig Ferguson (49:18)

I don't do my own only fans anymore. There was a. I remember. God, who was it used to do this, but Bernie Mac used to do the. Bernie used to do that. This great, baby. I'm tired of it. Tired of it. Do you remember that?

Carrot Top (49:34)

No, but it's a guy already.

Craig Ferguson (49:36)

Fucking hilarious. He was great.

Carrot Top (49:39)

Yeah. No.

Craig Ferguson (49:40)

Did you ever run into Bernie?

Carrot Top (49:42)

Yeah, a few times. Yeah.

Craig Ferguson (49:44)

Yeah, he. He was fab. I'm just trying to think of the guys that I remember from playing in Vegas back in the day. Barony was up there. It was amazing.

Carrot Top (49:52)

Yeah. Yeah.

Craig Ferguson (49:52)

Bernie, Max, who's playing there now, apart from you, obviously. You're like. You're like the Celine Dion, except you're not Celine Dion, but you know what I mean? You're like a Vegas Thing now.

Carrot Top (50:05)

I like that. I'm like the Celine Dion of the. Yeah, no, because you. I think there's a longevity. I've been here. Right. There's not a lot of stand up comics here anymore, which is interesting. You know, a lot of the shows are. Besides the Cirque shows and what. There used to be like amazing. Jonathan, there's not. Yeah, Penn and Teller is still here.

Craig Ferguson (50:26)

Okay.

Carrot Top (50:27)

Comedy magic. There's not. I don't think there's another actual stand up comedian.

Craig Ferguson (50:33)

No. Probably.

Carrot Top (50:34)

No.

Craig Ferguson (50:34)

I mean, I can think of it. I've been there.

Carrot Top (50:37)

You got. I. Yeah, there used to be. George Wallace. Used to be these standups that were there.

Craig Ferguson (50:42)

George Wallace. That was a great. Best 10pm show. That was a great show. That was a great.

Carrot Top (50:48)

I would love telling George that. I said, George. It's only. It's only the best 10. Because it'10pm show. It's not the best.

Craig Ferguson (50:56)

It's like all the bus ads and stuff. Best 10pm Show. I remember saying at the time, are there a lot of shows on at 10?

Carrot Top (51:03)

There's no other shows at 10. It was the only show. That's what was good.

Craig Ferguson (51:07)

How long did George run? That was a long time, right? He was there for a long time.

Carrot Top (51:11)

Yeah, he was there for a good 10 years maybe.

Craig Ferguson (51:14)

Yeah. Are you the record holder then? 20 years for a comedian. It's going to be close, I think.

Carrot Top (51:19)

I think for a comedian at the same. Same hotel.

Craig Ferguson (51:24)

Right. I think apart from that time you worked in Hooters for a little bit.

Carrot Top (51:28)

And then after that. So that. That should still count.

Craig Ferguson (51:34)

I can't believe I remembered it. As you were being in Hooters then I'm like, oh, no, wait, no, we went to Hooters.

Carrot Top (51:40)

Yeah. It was right across the street. I mean, you couldn't. It was so convenient.

Craig Ferguson (51:43)

It was the Hooters casino. That's right. Because I remember, I was like, we have to go and look at this place.

Carrot Top (51:49)

We have to go. Yes.

Craig Ferguson (51:50)

Yeah. And it was. It was a sad. But it's not there anymore, is it?

Carrot Top (51:56)

I don't. God, you know what? I don't think so. I think it's called something else now. Knockers or Dockers?

Craig Ferguson (52:03)

Do you have your own. Like when Wayne Newton did a long time in Vegas, he had his own little railway or something. Or Liberace or something. A little railway from his house all the way to his dressing room. You really get that? Yeah, I think it was either Liberace or Wayne Newton. Somebody that you could get. He could get on A little rail car and go straight to under his dressing room.

Carrot Top (52:29)

Oh, wow. I gotta get on this.

Craig Ferguson (52:31)

Yeah, yeah, I think you have to.

Carrot Top (52:33)

Yeah.

Craig Ferguson (52:33)

Because I don't know where your place is in Vegas, but if it's a long way from. I imagine it's a healthy enough distance from the MGM garage. You might want to get yourself a little, you know, underground railway.

Carrot Top (52:49)

I love that. Now you got to give me. You got to get. Now I'm going to like look into this because not for me, but I got to see if. If what you're saying is true. Because that's just amazing.

Craig Ferguson (52:58)

I feel like. Because you make so much of your own props and stuff.

Carrot Top (53:02)

Yeah.

Craig Ferguson (53:02)

I think that you could probably put together an underground railway.

Carrot Top (53:08)

Yeah, I got. Yeah.

Craig Ferguson (53:10)

Do you have any like penguins and stuff? Wayne Newton had penguins. Do you have any penguins?

Carrot Top (53:15)

No, no. What?

Craig Ferguson (53:16)

The sky. You gotta have some kind of eccentricity. You gotta have penguins or a llama or something.

Carrot Top (53:21)

Yeah, there was a guy who used to have a llama, you know, at his house.

Craig Ferguson (53:26)

Yeah, yeah.

Carrot Top (53:27)

The guy that owns the shoe guy. Whatever it was, he owned. He had, he had a. It was like Michael. Yeah. What the hell was that? Name of that and all the big zappos.

Craig Ferguson (53:37)

Jimmy Choo. Jimmy Choo. The shoe guy.

Carrot Top (53:40)

The shoe guy.

Craig Ferguson (53:42)

Do you eat a llama? But you don't have. You don't have a llama. You don't have penguins. You don't, you know, you don't go crazy. You just work.

Carrot Top (53:49)

I've got this one horrible wig and that's all I have.

Craig Ferguson (53:52)

Is that a wig?

Carrot Top (53:54)

No, it's not a wig.

Craig Ferguson (53:56)

It's long. Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah.

Carrot Top (53:58)

Long, Yep.

Craig Ferguson (54:00)

I was gonna say though, like usually guy. Red haired guys go gray. You don't seem to have a single gray hair in your head.

Carrot Top (54:09)

I've got a few. Yeah. They're in the back, but yeah, they're on my knees. They're on my nuts. Yeah.

Craig Ferguson (54:16)

Well, I was going to say, I don't know if you notice, I. I've gone a little gray.

Carrot Top (54:20)

I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to say right when you. We just. When we first started, you popped up. I went, oh God. It's like, it's been a while.

Craig Ferguson (54:32)

It's been a while. I was gonna say, I don't mind having snow on the roof. It's the snow in the basem.

Carrot Top (54:40)

Exactly, exactly. No, you have a bit. You have a very. Now this is. I'm seriously complimenting you on this. So there's people that great. Like. Like, they call that what, pepper. Peppered. Right. But there's a lot of guys you all see in the news and whatnot, they don't get that. Some people have just great salt. Pepper looks great on them. And then you get that one that's like yellowy gray.

Craig Ferguson (55:05)

Yeah.

Carrot Top (55:06)

It doesn't look good. You have a very nice. It looks like. What is it? Wait, let me zoom in.

Craig Ferguson (55:15)

It's. It's bro cream. Bro cream. It's like this old, tiny.

Carrot Top (55:21)

Yeah, the old fox. Put it in. Yeah, yeah.

Craig Ferguson (55:25)

That's pro cream.

Carrot Top (55:28)

You look like Michael Douglas. And I mean that in a complimentary way.

Craig Ferguson (55:33)

You. Michael Douglas is like 85 years old.

Carrot Top (55:36)

No, like a younger. Like a younger Michael Douglas.

Craig Ferguson (55:39)

Oh, like little Mikey Douglas. Is that what you.

Carrot Top (55:41)

Mikey Douglas. Yeah. When he was on. Yeah. Streets of San Francisco.

Craig Ferguson (55:45)

The streets of San Francisco. That was a great show. Him and Carl Malden. I remember that show.

Carrot Top (55:49)

Yeah. Carl Malden. Yeah.

Craig Ferguson (55:51)

He was. He was hilarious.

Carrot Top (55:54)

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

Craig Ferguson (55:57)

All right, listen, Scott, we're out of time, but I do want to say this. And I want to say this to anyone who's listening. And I always say this when I'm talking about, you have to see this guy live. You are one of the best live comics, the live shows I have ever seen and will ever see. I think I cannot. I challenge anyone to go to your show and not laugh. I just challenge. Fucking hilarious. I don't. It's what you. Because I went in, I think, as well, when I first saw you, I went in with a little bit of resistance.

Carrot Top (56:28)

Sure. They.

Craig Ferguson (56:28)

I think that that helps, because then your expectations are like, he's not gonna make me laugh. Then you feel better when you do.

Carrot Top (56:35)

Yeah.

Craig Ferguson (56:35)

And then when you give into it.

Carrot Top (56:37)

It'S like, oh, it's so true, though. You know how many times people say that to me? Like, every night. Oh. If I have a mean greeter before or before the show, there's a meeting before they say things that are odd. That are odd. Right. And you just laugh at it.

Craig Ferguson (56:48)

Yeah.

Carrot Top (56:49)

But if it's after, they'll always say. And you know what? I gotta be honest. We did not want to. We didn't want to come, did we? No, we did not want to come. We didn't. He really didn't want it. Right. And you're like, oh, thanks.

Craig Ferguson (56:58)

Yeah.

Carrot Top (56:59)

And I got to be honest, we've never been a fan of yours ever. But that was really. That was good. I'm like, oh, thanks.

Craig Ferguson (57:07)

Well, I get the mean Greece. I don't like you. But my mother, who's dead, and I love you.

Carrot Top (57:13)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Craig Ferguson (57:14)

My mother loved you. So I thought to honor her memory, I would come and see you. I don't really care.

Carrot Top (57:19)

I'm not a fan. My mom loved you, but I'm not really in honor of my mom. I'm not going to see you. Yeah, you get all that? I have one on the plane yesterday. He says, man, you, you look good now. I'm like, what do you mean now? What does that, what does that, what does that mean? You look good now. You look good now.

Craig Ferguson (57:34)

What did you look like then?

Carrot Top (57:35)

Well, I didn't know what I said, but what reference point are you talking about? You know? You know, you were just, you look good. You look healthy. I'm like, did I not look. He didn't look good. You didn't look good.

Craig Ferguson (57:43)

You do look healthy. You do look good. And more power to you. I, I, I really wish I could be in Vegas to see you, but I've got a feeling you'll be there for another 20 years, so I'll get around to it.

Carrot Top (57:55)

Yeah, I hope so. And I wish I could be there in New England to put the brill cream in your hair, but.

Craig Ferguson (57:59)

Oh, my God. New England brill cream. The sun is shining. It's beautiful. Now you live like Vegas, but with moisture and no casinos.

Carrot Top (58:07)

Yeah, yeah. You live there? You live there?

Craig Ferguson (58:10)

I, I spend a lot of time here. Yeah. In New England.

Carrot Top (58:12)

Yeah.

Craig Ferguson (58:12)

I love it.

Carrot Top (58:14)

So one of your homes?

Craig Ferguson (58:16)

It's one of. One of my many homes, yes. One of my many homes up down the eastern seaboard of the United States.

Carrot Top (58:23)

I love that. I love when you see a neighbor in Florida, he's a billionaire, and he's building this house. It's like 50,000 square feet, literally biggest house in Florida. And people say, you know them, right? And I said, yeah, I said, they're really nice people. And they said, why would they spend all that money on one house? And I said, because they have nine of them.

Craig Ferguson (58:42)

Yeah, they do.

Carrot Top (58:43)

And I go, yeah, they have one in Aspen that's twice that size. They have one in, you know, I mean, they got one in Hawaii. They got one in France. They got one in Rome. They got one in Paris. I'm like, they're like, what? I'm like, yeah. So it's just another home to them.

Craig Ferguson (58:55)

Yeah. Just to that. I'm not like that. That's what was happening here.

Carrot Top (58:59)

Why would you, why would you have a Lamborghini. You could get 10 cars of that. He has 30 of them.

Craig Ferguson (59:03)

Yes. He has a thousand cars. Yeah. Another you can get. You know, it must be like 10 Ford Explorers for a Lamborghini.

Carrot Top (59:13)

I always love that. I was that. I used to do that when I was a kid because our neighbor had a Mercedes and I just think you could buy four Cutlasses or five Cutlass Supreme. Why would you just get five Cutlass Supremes instead of one stupid car?

Craig Ferguson (59:26)

You know, it's. It's a. It's a fair point. Get out of here. More power to you. It's great to talk to you. I am and remain a fan and your friend. Thanks, pal. Look after your lips. There you go.

Carrot Top (59:40)

No giving you a big wet kiss.

Craig Ferguson (59:42)

Okay. Okay.

Carrot Top (59:43)

Thank you. Bye. Love you, Bubby. Thanks. Stay in touch. Stay in touch. Stay in touch.

Craig Ferguson (59:48)

Bye.

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Carrot Top (61:57)

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Carrot Top (62:27)

This is an iHeart podcast.