Jim Jefferies

Summary

Podcast Summary: Joy, a Podcast
Hosted by Craig Ferguson
Guest: Jim Jefferies
Release Date: August 12, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of Joy hosted by the storied late-night talk show host Craig Ferguson, comedian and actor Jim Jefferies joins to discuss various aspects of finding joy amidst life's challenges. The conversation spans personal anecdotes, cultural observations, the evolution of comedy, and reflections on fame and aging. The episode is rich with humor, heartfelt moments, and insightful exchanges that provide a deep dive into what constitutes joy in a seemingly chaotic world.

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Living in Scotland and Educational Choices

Jim Jefferies begins the conversation by sharing his experience of moving to Scotland for five to six years to provide his youngest child with a unique educational environment. Unlike the competitive American school system that often rewards winning with trophies, Scottish schools offer a more subdued recognition, fostering resilience and intrinsic motivation.

• Jim Jefferies [03:36]: "Exactly. It's much cheaper for the young kid. And also there's, you know, not everybody in Scottish schools gets a trophy. So when, you know, if he didn't, like, win something, it's not like, oh, here's a trophy for your feelings. He doesn't get that."

Craig Ferguson humorously relates this to his own family by mentioning his son's transition to the American high school system, anticipating a shift in the educational atmosphere.

• Craig Ferguson [03:54]: "Yeah, yeah. Just because it's cheaper than American universities."

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Australian Culture and Language

The duo delves into Australian culture, particularly the ubiquitous phrase "no worries." Jim points out that while Australians coined the term, it's now widely adopted elsewhere, including the UK and the US.

• Jim Jefferies [07:09]: "But the...they co-opted it. Everyone's stolen the no worries from Australia."

Craig adds a personal touch by describing his recent experience with an Australian café in Los Angeles, reinforcing his own affection for the culture despite not having lived there since his youth.

• Craig Ferguson [05:01]: "So I tell you what, I've just postmated for my lunch today. There's a New Zealand cafe up the road and I have ordered a box of meat pies. So I am the most cliched Australia."

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Discussion on Notorious Figures: Mel Gibson and Rolf Harris

The conversation takes a turn towards infamous Australian personalities like Mel Gibson and Rolf Harris. They discuss the complexities of fame, talent, and personal conduct, highlighting the dichotomy between public personas and private failings.

• Craig Ferguson [05:10]: "Mel Gibson...he says the N word and it was Australian actor. Mel Gibson...did you know."

Jim reflects on the cultural impact and the subsequent backlash faced by such figures, emphasizing the lasting repercussions of their actions.

• Jim Jefferies [06:38]: "Do you know what happened is in Scotland, they had...they put up a statue of William Wallace at Stirling Castle, but it was William Wallace. It was 800 years ago. Nobody knows what he looked like. So they put up a statue of Mel Gibson in Braveheart."

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Comedy Specials and the Evolution of Humor

Jim and Craig discuss the nature of comedy, especially in relation to time-sensitive topics and how humor evolves over the years. Jim shares his upcoming special titled I'm so Happy, emphasizing his ability to tackle sensitive subjects like Hitler with humor.

• Jim Jefferies [10:29]: "I have three, no less than three or four Hitler jokes in the special. Nothing too... Yeah, he's. You're allowed to joke about him anyway."

Craig adds his own experiences with Netflix pushing back on the title of his special, illustrating the challenges comedians face in balancing humor with societal sensitivities.

• Craig Ferguson [10:17]: "I wanted to call the special Hitler. I got some pushback from Netflix. It is not called Hitler. But I thought, how many people search that name? All the time."

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Fame, Paparazzi, and Personal Privacy

The conversation shifts to the impact of fame on personal life, particularly the omnipresence of paparazzi in the digital age. Both comedians express nostalgia for a time when celebrity interactions were less invasive and more controlled.

• Jim Jefferies [36:27]: "How is Jimmy gonna. How are you both gonna work it? I don't... They have heavy censorship and stuff."

Craig reminisces about his interactions with Carrie Fisher and the challenges of maintaining privacy despite celebrity status.

• Craig Ferguson [43:09]: "She was amazing, amazing woman. [Carrie Fisher story]"

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Personal Stories: Dealing with Parental Illness

A poignant segment of the episode features both Jim and Craig sharing deeply personal stories about their mothers' illnesses and the emotional turmoil surrounding those experiences. These narratives add a layer of vulnerability to the conversation, highlighting how personal struggles intersect with the search for joy.

• Jim Jefferies [76:04]: "She had polio as a 13-year-old girl, was in bed for a year and a half... Now, she was sitting bolt upright in bed playing solitaire on an iPad."

• Craig Ferguson [80:45]: "When my mother was dying... we all cried and we all hugged each other. And about 10 seconds later, she died again."

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Future Projects and Tours

Jim and Craig discuss their upcoming projects and tours, sharing their excitement and anticipation for new opportunities. They touch upon the dynamics of touring with fellow comedians like Jimmy Carr and the unique experiences they encounter on the road.

• Craig Ferguson [47:34]: "I have got so many hockey jerseys in my wardrobe right now that say Jeffries. And they're always very sweet when you get them."

• Jim Jefferies [55:43]: "I would go and see you individually."

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Reflections on Aging and Legacy

The conversation concludes with reflections on aging, legacy, and the desire to be remembered without causing sorrow. Both comedians express a sense of maturity in their approach to life and comedy, emphasizing the importance of leaving a positive impact.

• Jim Jefferies [25:03]: "What is. Where's it gonna be? Like, every lump, every mole, every... Everything, it's like. It's crazy."

• Craig Ferguson [26:10]: "I think the drop dead age is what he's calling on his next... It just happens. And when it happens, people are like, huh? You know, it's not like a big tragedy anymore."

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Notable Quotes

1. Jim Jefferies [07:09]: "Everybody knows that they've co-opted it. Everyone's stolen the no worries from Australia."

2. Craig Ferguson [10:17]: "I have three, no less than three or four Hitler jokes in the special."

3. Jim Jefferies [36:27]: "They're sitting blind... They can't see the show. So for two tracks, she's gonna go up on his shoulders."

4. Craig Ferguson [43:32]: "My mother's a morbidly obese woman who laid in a Lazy Boy for too long until she got deep brain thrombosis in the outer suburbs of Sydney."

5. Jim Jefferies [55:43]: "I would go and see you individually."

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Conclusion

This episode of Joy masterfully blends humor with heartfelt storytelling, offering listeners a comprehensive look into Jim Jefferies' life, his experiences with fame, personal struggles, and his philosophy on aging and legacy. Craig Ferguson provides a warm and insightful hosting style, making the conversation accessible and relatable. Through their candid exchange, the podcast encapsulates the essence of finding joy through resilience, connection, and authenticity.

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Listening Information

For those who haven't tuned into this episode, Joy by Craig Ferguson featuring Jim Jefferies is available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and other major podcast platforms. Access to this rich and engaging conversation provides not only laughter but also profound insights into navigating life's complexities with humor and grace.

Transcript

[Craig Ferguson]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Ice Cube]

Ice Cube's Big Three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS, with playoff elimination on the line. The most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win to make the playoffs, and breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. There's no crying in the big three and the no holds barred action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific. Presented by iHeart.

[Dr. Leah Tritate]

If you're looking for another heavy podcast about trauma, this ain't it. This is for the ones who had to survive and still show up as brilliant, loud, soft and whole. The Unwanted Sorority is where black women, femmes and gender expansive survivors of sexual violence rewrite the rules on healing, support and what happens after. And I'm your host and co president of this organization, Dr. Lea Tritate. Listen to the Unwanted Sorority. New episodes every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Bob Crawford]

I'm Bob Crawford, host of American History Hotline, a different type of podcast. You, the listener, ask the questions.

[Jim Jeffries]

Did George Washington really cut down a cherry tree?

[Dr. Leah Tritate]

Were JFK and Marilyn Monroe having an affair?

[Bob Crawford]

And I find the answers.

[Jim Jeffries]

I'm so glad you asked me this question.

[Ebony]

This is such a ridiculous story.

[Bob Crawford]

You can listen to American History Hotline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ice Cube]

It's Black Business Month and Money and wealth podcast with John Hope Bryant is tapping in.

[Craig Ferguson]

I'm breaking down how to build wealth, create opportunities and move from surviving to thriving. It's time to talk about ownership, equity and everything in between.

[Ice Cube]

Black and brown communities have historically been last in line. Let me just say this AI is moving faster than civil rights legislation.

[Craig Ferguson]

Ever listen to Money and Wealth from.

[Ice Cube]

The Black Effect podcast network on iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get.

[Jim Jeffries]

Your podcasts, this is me, Craig Ferguson. I'm inviting you to come and see my brand new comedy hour. Well, it's actually it's about an hour and a half and I don't have an opener cause these guys cost money. But what I'm saying is I'll be on stage for a while. Anyway, come and see me live on the Pants on Fire tour in your region. Tickets are on sale now and we'll be adding more as the Tour continues throughout 2025 and beyond. For a full list of dates, go to thecraigfergusonshow.com See you on the road, my dears. My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast is Joy. I talk to interesting people about what brings them happiness. My name is Craig Ferguson. Welcome to the Joy Podcast. Coming to you here inside my house, my guest today is a joy for you. He's simply one of the best comedians around. A hilarious gentleman and a deep thinker. The wonderful antipodean Jim Jeffries, everybody.

[Craig Ferguson]

You in Scotland now. Is that what's happening? Is it the Scottish Wi Fi? It feels like it's the wrong time of day to be at Scotland.

[Jim Jeffries]

No, it's. It's not. It's not. Look, it's hot. I'm sweating. It's not scoring. What happened was I went. I moved to Scotland for five years. Yeah, five or six years. And then I moved back to New York and now I'm in New England. But I went there because my youngest kid, I wanted them to go to school in Scotland for a little while.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah. Just because it's cheaper than American universities.

[Jim Jeffries]

Exactly. Yeah. It's much cheaper for the young kid. And also there's, you know, not everybody in Scottish schools gets a trophy. So when, you know, if he didn't, like, win something, it's not like, oh, here's a trophy for your feelings. He doesn't get that.

[Craig Ferguson]

And that.

[Jim Jeffries]

I kind of like that. I wanted him to experience a little of that before he came back to America. Now he's going to American high school. You'll get all of that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Now, My eldest boy's 12 and I've already started to say that you want to go to university in Australia, mate, just cause it's substantially cheaper, right?

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, yeah. I mean, here, it's crazy. Let me ask you this, though. There's something. Are you in Australia right now?

[Craig Ferguson]

I'm in Los Angeles right now. Just the map of Australia makes it look like I'm in Australia because what I thought. So you go, oh, you must be.

[Jim Jeffries]

In Australia because of the Australian map.

[Craig Ferguson]

I'm in the valley. I'm in la.

[Jim Jeffries]

All right, so. Which is a bit like Australia, actually, if you don't mind me saying.

[Craig Ferguson]

So I tell you what, I've just postmated for my lunch today. There's a New Zealand cafe up the road and I have ordered a box of meat pies. So I am the most cliched Australia. I haven't lived in Australia since I was 20 years old. I'm 48 years old now. And I'm ordering meat pies whilst I'm living in America. I've really assimilated, haven't I?

[Jim Jeffries]

You know, I'm. Russell Crow eats those meat pies as well. He gets them from that same place.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Russell does that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

Russell want to come and watch the rugby? Meat pies.

[Craig Ferguson]

I went. I went. He had. He had. The All Blacks were playing against the Wallabies in a game, and I went down with Rhys Darby and he had a pie master there making his pies. And it's weird because I think. Don't quote me on this. I think that Russell was supporting New Zealand because he was born in New Zealand. And that was. Yeah, that hurt the heart. Because that's the thing about Australia. We're always claiming people that we don't really own.

[Jim Jeffries]

You know, like, Canada is bad for that, too. Yeah, Canada. There was. I remember watching the Great. There used to be a TV show, the Greatest Ever American and the Greatest Ever Australian and the. And they had the greatest Canadian. And it was won by Alexander Graham Bell, who was, you know, from Scotland.

[Craig Ferguson]

From Scotland. Well, it's. It's. It's Australia. Had we. We claimed Mel Gibson for years. Mel Gibson actually moved over to Australia when he was 5 because his father wanted to dodge the draft for his sons. Not dodge the draft. Get. Get out of the country.

[Jim Jeffries]

Get out.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, during the Vietnam War. And so he. He moved his sons to Australia and he was always Australian. He was in Mad Max. They dubbed his voice with an American accent on Mad Max. And then he goes on to say the horrible things that he said. And he said. He said the. He's always been American actor. American actor. American actor. And then he said the N word and it was Australian actor. Mel Gis. Do you know.

[Jim Jeffries]

Do you know what happened is in Scotland, they had. They put up a statue of William Wallace at Stirling Castle, but it was William Wallace. It was 800 years ago. Nobody knows what he looked like. So they put up a statue of Mel Gibson in Braveheart. And then he said all these things and they were like, oh, some God's sake. And it's like drew a mustache on it or something. Do you know what I've noticed about Australia? I want to ask you this because I heard that again today when I went to Australia. It's a long time since I've been in Australia. I've never been in Australia sober.

[Craig Ferguson]

Actually, come to think of it, I've only recently been to Australia so far.

[Jim Jeffries]

I imagine it's very different. But the. I went to Australia a long time ago and they were the first people and the only people I heard that used the phrase no worries. Used to say, no worries, Mike.

[Craig Ferguson]

No workers.

[Jim Jeffries]

Everybody knows that. They've co opted it. Everyone's stolen the no worries from Australia.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, I thought the people in the UK said no worries as well. I thought it was a UK Australia.

[Jim Jeffries]

They stole it from Australia.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, it's good. Well, at least we were the. We were the convicts before. At least they're stealing something from us. It's all right.

[Jim Jeffries]

I think what happened is Rolf Harris brought it over in the 1960s.

[Craig Ferguson]

So to all the, all the American listeners who are listening to this podcast right now, they won't know he was a beloved entertainer from Australia who sang a few really good songs.

[Jim Jeffries]

Jake the peg with a wooden leg Two little boys had two little toys.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah. An extra leg and two little boys. We should have seen what was coming.

[Jim Jeffries]

You should have seen what was coming.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. He used to get a warm.

[Jim Jeffries]

Head.

[Craig Ferguson]

But he was an amazing artist. He could paint like really quick with big brushes and go, can you see what it is yet? Can you see what it is?

[Jim Jeffries]

It's a little fella here coming in. Yeah, I remember all that. Yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

So the Brits took on. Anyway, he was done for.

[Jim Jeffries]

He was.

[Craig Ferguson]

Me too. Several times over. I won't get into details because I don't know the exact details and I don't know.

[Jim Jeffries]

I don't know. But he went to jail. I mean, it wasn't just like, you.

[Craig Ferguson]

Know, isn't he still in jail?

[Jim Jeffries]

No, I think he's. He's in eternal jail.

[Craig Ferguson]

No. I met a bloke who, who had, who had no retirement plan, but he'd been buying a Rolf Harris painting every five years and putting it away because they, because they kept going up value. And he's like, no, that's the worst.

[Jim Jeffries]

Thing I've ever heard. That's terrible. That's like these Hitler patents are going to be worth a fortune.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, I'm saying that on the stage at the moment is like a lot of people want to go back in time and kill baby Hitler. Not me. I want to go back and buy some of his artwork, encourage him a bit, you know what I mean?

[Jim Jeffries]

There you go. That's a good idea.

[Craig Ferguson]

Put some love out in the world. Send him off into a different direction.

[Jim Jeffries]

Do you know what I've become? And I don't know if you've reached the. You're a lot younger than me, so I Don't know if you've reached this stage yet where you watch a lot of Hitler documentaries. I watch a lot of man. I'm covered in them, actually. The other night, my youngest boy said, dad, how did Hitler rise to power? And I was like, oh, finally my moment has come. It's like cracking my knuckles.

[Craig Ferguson]

In my new special, I have three, no less than three or four Hitler jokes in the special. Nothing too. Yeah, he's. You're allowed to joke about him anyway. I think so. So I wanted to call the special Hitler. I got some pushback from Netflix. It is not called Hitler. But I thought, how many people search that name? All the time. I'm searching it all the time. All the time? Yeah, all the time. Anytime there's a new doctor, if they go World War II in color. Oh, you've got me for a week, then. Yeah, that's all.

[Jim Jeffries]

Definitely. Did you see that one where they did the World War I? It was a. Peter Jackson did it and he did the Restore. My God, that was crazy.

[Craig Ferguson]

That was the one where they had all the voices over the top going. And I knew I was out for an adventure. That one. Yeah, yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

And all these. All sorts of things. We had a lovely time, actually, apart from the war bit, but the walking up and down was lovely. It was very strange. It was a very odd thing to watch. My great grandfather was killed in that war. I imagine you probably have relatives killed in that war.

[Craig Ferguson]

No. Well, I don't know about World War I. I don't know if I can go. Look, my big claim to fame is that we have some family members that were in the first or second fleet of people. That's Australian pride right there. I have convict stock, proper convict stock.

[Jim Jeffries]

I remember that when I was in Australia, that was kind of like if you had been on the Mayflower in New England, if you had been in the convict stock. So you really are. You go back to the.

[Craig Ferguson]

We go. We go back a couple of 240 years in Australia. But then. But then for a while there. There was. There was. There was rumors of my family having Aboriginal heritage. And also I was very proud of that. And then I did one of those, like, 23andmes, and it was just Irish and English. I didn't even have Scottish in me, thank God. But I was just Irish. Just Irish and English and like 1% Swedish or something like that.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, just like somebody bought an ABBA album or something.

[Craig Ferguson]

That's exactly right. Like. Like a Hanson album, maybe, or. Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, yeah. Nice. I. I feel That I would never do the 23 in mix.

[Craig Ferguson]

A lot of people say, because now they've sold the information to the other people. But I look at it this way, right? Like, I don't even know why. Like, so those prisoners escaped in Louisiana, right. They ran off a loading bay and they ran out and there was 20 of them. And they all scattered around and they caught them all really quickly through facial recognition. We're all being monitored all the time. You can't. There's not a crime you can really commit. Now I look back at, like, Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy was driving around in the same Volkswagen Beetle every murder and going up to women with a brace in his arm going, hi, my name's Ted. And then in every documentary they go like this, oh, he was a genius. He could have been a great lawyer. He could have been.

[Jim Jeffries]

He was.

[Craig Ferguson]

He's a fucking moron. He was saying, everyone was like, we're looking for a guy called Ted in a Volkswagen bid. But how did he elude the police for so long? Just move states.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, well, there was. There was no contact. There was no. Though every. You're right, everybody is filmed all the time. But I feel like the. The 23andMe. If, like, we were talking about Hitler. If Hitler had the 23 and me's now that'd be bad. That'd be bad. Because, I mean, look, it wasn't great the first time around. It was better. But, you know, if he has your genetic information on file. Oh, man.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. But the 23andMe can't pick up if you're gay. He was genociding them as well. You know, there was a few things. A few loopholes within the. In the structure. You wouldn't want to do ancestry.com and go, ancestry.com oh, I've got a relative here. We've got a relative in Hitler.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, oh, yeah, that's true. I feel like it's nowadays, though. Like, when I was drinking by. Because I was part of all my drinking story when I was doing it. Now, you got sober fairly recently. Were cell phones around when you were drinking?

[Craig Ferguson]

Yes. And that was part of the reason that brought me to my giving up alcohol. Right. Because when you. They reckon the next generation, the generation Alpha, which is the one coming in after the one millennials. And then what was the next one? The Gen Z. Gen Z. Then the Alpha, they reckon Alpha's gonna drink 80% less than generation X, which is my generation. Right, right. And they think it's because. They say it's because they're more evolved people who. It's not, it's that they have mobile phones and that, that. That nothing can stay secret. They can't make mistakes because people are always filming them. They're generation of grasses, right, who are gonna. Yeah. Who are gonna tell everybody off. Plus they have dating apps, right? When you have a dating app and you can chat to a person for a few weeks before your one night stand, of course you don't have to drink. We had to go into a dimly lit room where our personality could not come into play because the music was too loud. We just had to stare at women until eventually one of them stared back at us. Try doing that. Fucking sober. Impossible. Impossible. No, I.

[Jim Jeffries]

No, I'm really glad I missed all of that. I mean, I got sober. There was barely cell phones when I got sober. I mean, it was still the brick telephone. When I got sober. It was no cameras or anything.

[Craig Ferguson]

When you're a blackout drunk and you'd wake up in the morning and then you'd ring your friends going, oh, was I, Did I behave myself? And they'd go, oh, you said this to this person. You did this thing and you're like, oh God. You could ring up and apologize to the people or whatever, or you just. Everyone just moved on with their fucking day. You know what I mean? Yeah, but now there's no at concerts, right? If you were at a concert, right. In the old days, we didn't hold mobile phones up in the air. We had a naked flame. Naked flame. A naked flame. Next to women in the 80s, we had so much hairspray on they could wearing polyester. They could have gone up like that, right? But we held this naked flame up there until our thumb got too burnt. And then we thought, we'll hold off for a bit and put it back up for a ballot. Right. Now the kids have a phone now. If you're at a concert and you're on the floor and there was a woman who was with her boyfriend, she couldn't see the show. So for two tracks, she's gonna go up on his shoulders. Right?

[Jim Jeffries]

Right.

[Craig Ferguson]

The people behind get upset. Oh my God. We can't see the show. What would she do to reward the people behind?

[Jim Jeffries]

She'd flash. Yes.

[Craig Ferguson]

Top off.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

Everyone was happy.

[Jim Jeffries]

She wasn't with she's innocent times.

[Craig Ferguson]

She wasn't condemned. She probably worked in some corporate job and moved on with her life. Do you remember, do you remember streakers?

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Naked people running across sporting events. It was. It was hilarious.

[Craig Ferguson]

I tried to tell my 12 year old son what a streaker was and he couldn't wrap his brain around it. I'd be like, you'd be at the cricket. I don't know if it ever happened at baseball, but at the cricket it was rampant. If you have a five day sport, someone's getting naked, right?

[Jim Jeffries]

There's a lot of day drinking with Craig.

[Craig Ferguson]

There's a lot of day drinking in the sun. The fine used to be in Australia, 200 bucks, right? So even in today's money, $600 say something like that. And people around used to be like this, all right, I'll throw in 20, I'll throw in 20, I'll Throw in 20. And then they all throw it into a hat. And then the bloke or the, or the woman would run out. Everyone would cheer. In Australia in the 80s, they used to keep the camera on them. They didn't even take the camera off. They just went, we have a streak. And the players were all laugh and we move on. Now, now if, now if someone enters the pitch closed, we think it's a terrorist attack.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

I miss streaking. Bring streaking back.

[Jim Jeffries]

Streaking. Well, let me talk to you about your special because that, that's kind of interesting. I haven't seen it yet. It's only been two days as of this.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, no, no, I haven't brought out this when it comes out. Okay, so the special is called Two Limb Policy. Yeah, two Limb Policy. And it's out on Netflix. And the two limb policy the name comes from, you were going to call.

[Jim Jeffries]

It Hitler though, right?

[Craig Ferguson]

I was going to call it Hitler because I have a few Hitler jokes in there. But we too hard to explain.

[Jim Jeffries]

Hitler is a bare name. But I don't work for Netflix.

[Craig Ferguson]

I never, I'm not in charge. I got a firm no on Hitler. So I wanted to go two limb Policy. Because I have a routine in there about after the end of my shows, I have a meet and greet with some audience members who pay for the meet and greet. And then, and mind you, when I say sober, I still partake in weed. I don't drink or do any drugs or smoke or anything else, but I still take weed. As soon as I go to stage, I take an edible and then I have my meet and greet line of about 80 people. And if you want to talk to me for a bit longer, stay at the end of the line when the edible kicks in because you know you're boring. You know you're boring when someone's paid $80 to meet you and they end the conversation anyway. So what I do is on stage is I also offer up, I've worked with disabled people in a sitcom I was with and I still am sort of slightly involved with.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, legit. I remember it.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. With a disabled and all that. Thank you. And so at the end of the show I say if there's disabled people in the room, they can also join the meet and greet and have a photo and I'll have a chat with them as well. So they don't have to pay the 80 bucks or whatever. But I do have a two limb policy because I was opening it up to, I was opening it up to disabled people. I was getting fucking dyslexics and just the mild people who are mildly autistic. And it just wasn't cutting it for me. I couldn't take photos of everybody, you know what I mean? Like a lazy eye is not gonna cut it, you know what I mean? I have a two limb policy and those limbs have to be missing doing nothing or doing everything. And that's my thing. And you can mix and match. They can be a leg and an arm. Maybe you've had a stroke. If so, lucky you, you get to meet me, you save $80 and you.

[Jim Jeffries]

Get to meet Jim Jeffries. Handy. Yeah, it's almost sometimes worth the idea. Maybe a mild stroke.

[Craig Ferguson]

Now that accident you had doesn't seem so bad.

[Jim Jeffries]

Hello, this is Craig Ferguson and I want to let you know I have.

[Craig Ferguson]

A brand new stand up comedy special.

[Jim Jeffries]

Out now on YouTube. It's called I'm so Happy and I would be so happy if you checked it out. To watch the special, just go to my YouTube channel, he Craig Ferguson show and it's just right there. Just click it and play it and it's free. I can't look. I'm not going to come around your.

[Craig Ferguson]

House and show you how to do it.

[Jim Jeffries]

If you can't do it, then you can have it. But if you can figure it out, it's yours.

[Ice Cube]

The reviews and ratings are in and ice Cube's big three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS. With playoff elimination on the line, the stars will be flocking to Los Angeles to witness the most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win over Houston to make the playoffs, reeling from last week's savage beating at the hands of Chicago's possessed Montrez Harrell. Last time these teams met, Miami beat Houston. But they are a dangerous team having their manhood at stake. Then breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Will LA avenge their previous shocking loss to perennial basketball Boston rivals To survive, six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. Don't miss the Big Three, the three on three basketball league everyone is talking about. There's no crying in the big three and the no hold sport action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific followed by two games on Vice starting at 6:30 Eastern presented by iHeart.

[Bob Crawford]

Got any fun trips coming up? One thing you probably haven't put on your packing list Learning the language. But with Babbel you can start talking in just a few weeks. Start speaking a new language with confidence thanks to Babbel's conversation based technique that quickly teaches you useful words and phrases about the things you actually talk about in the real world. There's over a dozen languages available to learn at your own pace so you can achieve your goals with material tailored to your individual proficiency level, interests and time availability. Studies from Yale, Michigan State and other leading universities continue to prove Babbel works with over 16 million subscriptions sold. Babbel's 14 award winning language courses are backed by a 20 day money back guarantee. So get talking with Babbel. Get up to 55% off at babbel.com joy spelled b a B-B-E-L.com joy babbel.com joy rules and restrictions may apply.

[Unknown]

Tired of spills and stains on your sofa? WashablesOfAs.com has your back featuring the Annabe Collection, the only designer sofa that's machine washable inside and out. Where designer quality meets budget friendly prices. That's right, sofas start at just $699. Enjoy a no risk experience with pet friendly stain resistant and changeable slipcovers made with performance fabrics. Experience cloud like comfort with high resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing. The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime. Check out washablesofas.com and get up to 60% off your Anna Bay sofa backed by a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. If you're not absolutely in love, send it back for a full refund. No return shipping or restocking fees. Every penny back Upgrade [e-mail] Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Ebony]

Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebony, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm ebony, and every Tuesday, I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles and more. And found the strength to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant. But he wasn't shot on street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect podcast network. Tune in on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Jim Jeffries]

Let me ask you this. Do. You're like. You're still young, though. You're still in your 40s, right? Were you fortunate? 48.

[Craig Ferguson]

48.

[Jim Jeffries]

48, yeah. You're still a kid. I'm 63. Now. All I do is worry about what's gonna kill me, right? What is. Where's it gonna be? Like, every lump, every mole, every. Every thing, it's like. It's crazy.

[Craig Ferguson]

Bill Burr's calling the out my age to your age. The. The drop dead age is what he's calling on his next.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, the red zone. Yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. It just happens. And when it happens, people are like, huh? You know, it's not like as big a tragedy anymore. They will say a little bit too young, but, you know, he had a good time. And, you know, with each passing year, the sympathy gets less and less for your day.

[Jim Jeffries]

Less and less.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's Billy Con. Billy Connelly used to call it too old. He did a tour, I think too old to die young. And he's. He's still. He's not doing stand up anymore. He's like 80, 83 now.

[Craig Ferguson]

John Claes tour is called not dead yet or something like that Before I die tour. Or, you know, I guess that's. I guess that's. Look, getting old is a privilege, you know, I think.

[Jim Jeffries]

Sure.

[Craig Ferguson]

I think what you really want in life is for no one to cry when you die. Right. To get to like a hundred where people just go, ah, well, yeah, what a life.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, what a time yet.

[Craig Ferguson]

No. No one cries at a 95 year old's funeral.

[Jim Jeffries]

Everyone's like, I've got a friend who's. I won't say his name because he goes online and watches podcasts, but he's 95 this year. 95.

[Craig Ferguson]

You don't think he's gonna guess who he is? You don't think he's gonna figure it out?

[Jim Jeffries]

His name. His name's Pat Drumgooley. He's an old theater director and movie producer. And movie. He's a lovely man. And he's 95. And he said to me, he's very posh. And he said, my brother. He said, my brother's very ill, Craig. I went, oh, that's terribly sad. What's wrong? He said, well, he's 90, mate, but he's not a good 90. Good 90. But he's an interesting guy because he never got sober. He drinks like a fish. He lives his life hard, smokes cigars. He does his thing. He eats cheese. He's a little overweight, doesn't he? Just keeps fucking going.

[Craig Ferguson]

Okay. The oldest human to ever live lived to 121 years old. I just. I just. I just looked this up the other day, strangely. Lived to 121 years old. French lady.

[Jim Jeffries]

Right, right.

[Craig Ferguson]

What do the French do more than anybody?

[Jim Jeffries]

Cheese. Cheese.

[Craig Ferguson]

Smoking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Smoked until 121. Smoked.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, you're not gonna stop at 100. You're like 100 years old, so it's time you stop smoking.

[Craig Ferguson]

I think you get to a stage where your lungs are coated with a wall. They're actually more of the lung than the actual lung. You know what I mean? Like. Like.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, it's just a kind of.

[Craig Ferguson]

She had a flu to champagne on 121st birthday. Like, she was. She was going for it. But there's, like. I think there's. There's five people who have lived over 112 or so. All women. There's no men who have done that. Too much time. Hey, what was your. I used to love your show, the Imposter. Not the Imposter. What was it bloody called? The one where you're in the room.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, the Hustler. The Hustler show.

[Craig Ferguson]

I love it. The Hustler was something I watched all the time. I love the Hustler. It was such a simple concept of figuring out who's lying, who's telling the truth and all that stuff.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

Is that coming back? Nah.

[Jim Jeffries]

That was a Covid tragedy, that one. I did two seasons of that, and then it disappeared somewhere in 2021. But it was a good show. I like doing it. I would do it again. I'm about to do a new game show. You do the game shows, right?

[Craig Ferguson]

I do a couple of game shows. I do one in Australia, the 1% club, and I do one that's on Fox right now, which you can watch on Hulu called the Snake. And the Snake is a similar thing to your show in that you have to figure out who's bullshitting and stuff. But it's a voting game, basically.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's the contestants vie against each other.

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, what happens is like you've seen other game shows where you have a voting ceremony at the end where you majority rules. It'll be an anonymous vote. You write, put it in a bucket. Then they pull out the names like Survivor or whatever.

[Jim Jeffries]

Survivor. That's what I was thinking. Yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

This. This one, you have a person becomes the Snake, Then they choose the person to save, and then the next person chooses a person to save. So it snakes down. So you only have to get one person to like you each week to stay in it. But then you can't repay the favor because you've got to save the next person.

[Jim Jeffries]

Right.

[Craig Ferguson]

So one. Right. Until it gets down to the final two. And then the Snake decide who goes home and who stays. So if you make alliances and you stay in a pact and you go, we'll always save each other. And then. But eventually you have to lose that pact and start knocking off friends because you can't have too big a group because you won't be able to stay. So most of the game is about the ceremony and the vote and all that type of stuff. But I tell you what, I love hosting game shows.

[Jim Jeffries]

When I first. I love it. It's great.

[Craig Ferguson]

Is there anything better than telling someone they've won a hundred thousand dollars? Right.

[Jim Jeffries]

Which is fantastic. I love. I've done tons of it.

[Craig Ferguson]

Now you have to remember lines, like when you do acting, right, There's. There's no. There's no having to get coaching from an acting coach or anything to make sure you. No one's worrying if you have chemistry. You're just there by you just there by yourself. I would. I would do. And also I feel like it's something you can do when you're 80 and no one questions it.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, that's right. You can go for it. I'm just about to start hosting Scrabble on tv.

[Craig Ferguson]

Awesome.

[Jim Jeffries]

Which is great for me. I play Scrabble on my phone all the time. I love Scrabble.

[Craig Ferguson]

Do you play Scrabble or Words with Friends? Be honest with you. No.

[Jim Jeffries]

I don't play Words With Friends. I don't have Friends. I play Scrabble.

[Craig Ferguson]

Cheap knockoff Words With Friends.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, yeah. Scrabble is the way to go. Especially now that I'm hosting Scrabble. I have to say no, I wouldn't ever go on Words With Friends. I may have looked at it occasionally when my drinking days, but now it's only Scrabble. But I will say that you said.

[Craig Ferguson]

You didn't drink when phones were existed. Now you're using a smartphone to play Words with Phones.

[Jim Jeffries]

We played Scrabble in little huts in Scotland. All right, who's gonna X. Wait a minute. Pants is not a word. But what I like about game shows is that it's a world to itself. You know what I mean? Like, all of the jokes, all of the riffing that you do, everything you do, it's all there. It's all. It's all happening at that point. So you don't have to make a joke about, I don't know, Katy Perry going to space or, you know, Donald Trump or anyone have to do any of that. You just concentrate on what you're doing.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. So the 1% club, which John McHale hosts the American version over here and Right. In Britain. God, I know this guy really well. One percent Club, Lee Mack.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, he's terrific comic.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah. So Lee Mack does the UK version. Right.

[Jim Jeffries]

Right.

[Craig Ferguson]

The whole time you just make. All the questions are, what number comes next in this sequence? You know, it's all IQ questions. I'm making jokes about sequences and number orders and all that type of stuff. It's like, come and get me. Like, try and cancel me for a joke about a fucking. You know?

[Jim Jeffries]

I know. See, that's what I think about it too, that you can. You can exist in that world and you can kind of relax like it's the old days. Let me ask you this about the special when you. Because obviously, I mean, I do specials as well. I'll probably do another one at the end of the year. And when I'm out. When you're out doing material, right, like, you're running up and you're getting it to, you know, it's the size that you want. Do you keep in your mind, like, I can't. This is a good joke, but I probably shouldn't record it. Or do you just not give a fuck?

[Craig Ferguson]

Only to the extent that I've done some jokes that haven't aged well because they were time sensitive. Although they. They probably killed for a couple of years. 10 years. Ago. Now you're watching and you go, well, And I'm even including, like making a joke about Donald Trump. You know what I mean?

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, yeah, me too.

[Craig Ferguson]

I feel the same way. I don't want someone to watch it in 10 years. And it's like me making Monica Lewinsky gags, you know what I mean? So I'm mindful of that. Sometimes I look back on things and I think, oh, God, maybe I shouldn't have said that, Jake. Maybe I shouldn't have said that, Jake. Because I'm just a different. I mean, not a different person. I'm in a different place in my life, you know, than I was then. But for the most part, no. Unless it's time sensitive. No, for the most part, I just have a go. There's been a few jokes that I've done over the years that have never made the edit. They've just. I've tried to slip them in a few times and they just haven't. Each year I go, maybe this time I'll just sneak it on through.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, it's funny what you should try having 10 years of late night sitting out there. Because every time I watch a documentary about something, then there's a whole bunch of people from late night and you're always in there saying something like, oh, fuck, I can't even remember saying it.

[Craig Ferguson]

In saying that though, because that does happen. I always say that happened with Leno as well. Like, they always go. And then he was rude to Pamela Anderson back in the day. And she might have felt, blah, blah, blah. Man, did you ever come out good in that Britney Spears documentary. You must have watched that and felt good about yourself that day. You would have gone, oh, I was on the wrong. I was on the right side of history that afternoon.

[Jim Jeffries]

You know what was funny? Cause at the time I felt it was. I thought I was going to get fucking fired.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah. I was like, well, I lost my fucking temper. What happened was I went. And it was a Monday morning. She had gone crazy over the weekend and she clearly was. Had a mental health issue or something. He didn't have to be a doctor.

[Craig Ferguson]

Still does, I think. But, you know, that's, that's. I'm not a doctor.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, right. And. And I.

[Craig Ferguson]

But I'm.

[Jim Jeffries]

No either. But I looked at what was the footage of her coming in. Like, this is someone who looks like a manic episode or some kind of weird shit going on. I'm not a doctor, but it didn't look healthy. And, and I walked in and the writers were all there. And everyone was like, they're doing their jobs. They were all like firing jokes about, you know what, she's in the writers room. And I was like, I fucking got mad because I had turned 15 years sober that weekend. So I chucked them all out except the one writer who was sober the same time as me. I mean, you and I are going to write this fucking monologue. We're going to do it. Because I'm fucked if I'm going to, you know, I'm going to pick on this girl when this is happening.

[Craig Ferguson]

She's like 26 at the time or something. She was quite young.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, yeah, she was young. She had a couple of kids and she was clearly going through something.

[Craig Ferguson]

I also. I also think that. Once again, I don't know, but I also think that when she shaved her head and she went through that manic episode, I think that there was a lot of. I think she shaved her head because she was probably getting drug tested. She was going through custody stuff and stuff like that. You know what I mean?

[Jim Jeffries]

Maybe.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to get a hair follicle off me? Good fucking luck. So if that's the case, more power.

[Jim Jeffries]

To her, you know, it's funny thing, though, at that time in la, I think you must be. Were you in LA at that time?

[Craig Ferguson]

I believe that was just before I got here. I've been here for 17 years, so. Would that be around 17?

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, it would just be. You would just be coming out. It'd be around about that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right on the cusp.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's funny because there used to be packs of paparazzi. Used to be everywhere. They used to follow. I mean, no, there's no point because you get people with their phones, but because the public.

[Craig Ferguson]

The public are the paparazzi now.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, you don't need to hire paparazzi now. Everybody's a paparazzi.

[Craig Ferguson]

It used to be people got papped going into the venue and then they were free in the room. Now it's like, you're not free anywhere. And so it's like. It's like I had a. I had a friend who came out to visit, a relative who came out to visit, and they're like, where can we see some celebrities? And I'm like, in their homes. In their homes. That's where you can see them. Because there's not like the old days where they'll be down at the Viper Room having a good time. Those days are over. Those days are over. When was the last time you walked into a bar and saw an actual celebrity sitting there. No way. With camera phones. It's over.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's a long clip. I even thought once you get even a little bit famous that it fucks with your head. Made me paranoid as well. Not because people were always taking photographs of you, it's just that you think people are always taking photos. So if you're sitting in a Starbucks and you're like, I really want one of those cakes or something like that, and you have a cake, then suddenly you're like, former late night host eats cake sadly in coffee shop or something like that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Did you find once you became famous it was much harder to complain at customer service?

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, you can't, you can do it. You can't complain anywhere because, because people will say, and this is the thing people say about famous people that like they always say, like if you run in, I don't know, Ozzy Osbourne or, or you know, or Trump, people will say, were they nice? What were they like? Were they nice? I'm like, I, I met him for 30 seconds. I don't know if he's nice. He was nice to me.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

And people seem obsessed with niceness.

[Craig Ferguson]

Do you find. I find that when people meet you. Well, when they meet me, not you. I don't know when people meet you, but when people meet me, the look of disappointment when they look at you and they go, ah, because you're always the oldest you've ever been. Right. So they've just watched a special of you from 10 years ago and you've aged so rapidly in their eyes.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, I know.

[Craig Ferguson]

God.

[Ice Cube]

The reviews and ratings are in and ice Cube's big three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS. With playoff elimination on the line, the stars will be flocking to Los Angeles to witness the most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win over Houston to make the playoffs. Reeling from last week's savage beating at at the hands of Chicago's possessed Montrez Harrell. Last time these teams met, Miami beat Houston. But they are a dangerous team having their manhood at stake. Then breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Will LA avenge their previous shocking loss to perennial basketball Boston rivals To survive, six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. Don't miss the big three, the three on three back basketball league everyone is talking about. There's no crying in the big three and the no hold spot action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific followed by two games on Vice starting at 6:30 Eastern.

[Unknown]

Presented by iHeart Tired of spills and stains on your sofa? Washablesofas.com has your back featuring the Annabe Collection, the only designer sofa that's machine washable inside and out. Where designer quality meets meets budget friendly prices. That's right, sofas start at just $699. Enjoy a no risk experience with pet friendly stain resistant and changeable slipcovers made with performance fabrics. Experience cloud like comfort with high resilience foam that's hypoallergenic and never needs fluffing. The sturdy steel frame ensures longevity and the modular pieces can be rearranged anytime. Check out washablesofas.com and get up to 60% off your annabe sofa backed by a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. If you're not absolutely in love, send it back for a full refund. No return, shipping or restocking fees. Every penny back. Upgrade [e-mail] Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Ebony]

Welcome to Pretty Private with ebony, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. Hey everybody, I'm Ebony and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles and more and found the strength to make it to the other this side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast, it's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Dr. Leah Tritate]

Sometimes it's hard to remember, but going.

[Craig Ferguson]

Through something like that is a traumatic experience, but it's also not the end of your life.

[Dr. Leah Tritate]

That was my dad reminding me and so many others who need to hear it that our trauma is not our shame to carry and that we have big, bold and beautiful lives to live after what happened to us. I'm your host and co president of this organization, Dr. Leah Tritate on my New podcast, the Unwanted Sorority. We wade through transformation to peel back healing and reveal what it actually looks like and sounds like in real time. Each week, I sit down with people who've lived through harm, carried silence, and are now reshaping the systems that failed us. We're going to talk about the adultification of black girls, mothering as resistance, and the tools we use for healing. Healing. The Unwanted Sorority is a safe space, not a quiet space. So let's lock in. We're moving towards liberation together. Listen to the Unwanted Sorority. New episodes every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jim Jeffries]

I remember Carrie Fisher was a friend of mine. Did you ever meet Carrie D?

[Craig Ferguson]

I've got Carrie Fisher's stories that I could tell you off air. But the private. But Carrie Fisher in my sitcom Legit, she was in it. She was in an episode where she was sexually harassing me. I could have metooed the character where she kept on asking me to lick her pussy. And she was just the best.

[Jim Jeffries]

She was amazing, amazing woman.

[Craig Ferguson]

This story I can tell you, right? So one time I'm on Kimmel and I tell a story, and the footage obviously is somewhere, and I tell a story about how my mother got deep vein thrombosis on a luxury cruise. Now, most people get deep vein thrombosis sitting in economy. My mother moves so little on a luxury cruise that she got put into the infirmary because she had deep vein thrombosis in her legs and couldn't enjoy the rest of the cruise, right? And I tell a story. My father went off and won sexiest man on the boat on a pool party on the side of the thing and won a T shirt and came back and visited her in his T shirt that said sexiest man. Anyway, so tell this story. I'm doing legit. It's. It's day one with Kerry. We had two days with her, and she's sitting next to me in hair and makeup. My mother rings, and then she rings again. She rings again. I'm like, all right, something's happened. You know, I gotta pick it up. So I pick up the phone and my mother goes, you have to go back on the Jimmy Kimmel show and tell the American public that you're a liar. And I said, why? What have I done? And she goes, I didn't get deep vein thrombosis on the boat. I got it at home. It was diagnosed on the boat, right? And I went, all right, so let me be clear here, Mom. Let me Be clear. You want me to tell people you got the disease, like the condition from not moving in your home, then you got diagnosed. Boat. That's your factual truth, right? And she's like. She's like, yes. And I get off the phone, I went, fuck. And Kerry turns to me and goes, your mother and my mother sound like exactly the same person. And I said, let me stop you there, Kerry. Your mother was Debbie Reynolds from Singing in the Rain.

[Jim Jeffries]

In the Rain.

[Craig Ferguson]

My mother's a morbidly obese woman who laid in a Lazy Boy for too long until she got deep brain thrombosis in the outer suburbs of Sydney. These are vastly different people.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's funny, though. Carrie said that thing, though, about when she had. When she got her photograph taken in the metal bikini when she was getting captured by Jabba the Hut. But she said that thing, which I always thought was great. She said, I didn't know when I did that job that I was making a contract with the universe to look like this for the rest of my life. That people would come up to her 40 years later and say, oh, my God, you let yourself go and stuff. It's 40 years later, 30 years later.

[Craig Ferguson]

That was one of the things I was with Kerry. And she goes, I can't eat too much. I've gotta lose weight. And then I go, why? And she goes, next week, I have to play a fucking princess. It was the last job she did before Star Wars. And she was like, oh, God, I gotta be Princess Leia again. That bikini is like every nerd's fantasy, isn't it? The Princess Leia bikini. But it makes you think, like, okay, not Kerry, of course. What did Princess Leia have to do to Jabba the Hutt? Like, what was this slave? Cause obviously that character was a sex slave to the SL plug. There's a whole other miniseries in what happened in those three days. Right.

[Jim Jeffries]

I feel it's very similar to what the story I was telling you when I was telling you earlier on in the podcast about what I did when I was a young man when I was drinking. I feel it was a very similar situation probably.

[Craig Ferguson]

And Princess Leah never liked Slugcock ever.

[Jim Jeffries]

Again or even anything that tasted like slime. Let me ask you, have you still doing shows with Jimmy Carr?

[Craig Ferguson]

Me and Jimmy, I'm actually. I'm flying out to. The answer is we have none planned. Hopefully we'll do some more in the future. We just did some. We did a whole tour of Canada together where the two of us were, you know, head co. Lining Co headlining.

[Jim Jeffries]

Co headlining, Co lighting.

[Craig Ferguson]

Anyway, so, so. But I am going out to. In early August to see Oasis in the UK because I thought for some reason they wouldn't tour America at the time when the tickets went on sale, so I had to go see him. And so I'm going out and I'm actually, me and Jimmy Carr are going to go see Oasis together. And it's funny because I go, I go to Jimmy, I go, I go. Because I already had a tickets. And he goes, oh, I'd like to go as well. And I went, I went, oh, well, we'll see, we'll see if you can get your ticket. Let's see if we can get you a ticket. And then, because I'm so excited. And then Jimmy goes, he goes, I think I'll just ask Noel. And I'm like, all right, I forgot that Jimmy was fucking friends with everyone. So hopefully, hopefully I get to go to the after party with Jimmy and meet Noel. That would be really cool. I've met him, I've met Noel before and interviewed him. But I'm big, big, big, big fan of Oasis. But Jimmy and me, we did the tour. I was going, we were swapping the headlining spots, right? I'd go, we were doing it in the round. So it's like one would walk on, one would walk off. And it's like being a boxer when you're going in the round because you have to walk through the crowd and everyone's high fiving you and you're getting all. A spotlight follows you as you walk through, you know. And I was going on after Jimmy Carr is. I didn't find it difficult as such, but I did find that it was hard for me to offend an audience because he's saying far more offensive things than I'm saying, but he's doing it. He's legitimately just jokes when you watch me, even though for the most part I'm joking that you. You do watch me with an element. He could have done that. If I say, yeah, that's it.

[Jim Jeffries]

That's based on real life. Yeah, yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

So. So I preferred to go on before Jimmy, you know, and then as I said, I'd take an edible and I'd sit there and I'd watch Jimmy Carr tell his one liners. It was one of the most wonderful tours of me life. We had a great time. He's a great. We got on one. I've told this story on a podcast before we. I realized how professional he was at one stage. We bought our own Plane tickets. But the tour people bought our plane tickets. But we weren't always seated next to each other. We were with each other all day, you know, just wherever you get a business class, you just watch your iPad or whatever. So he's sitting in the front row in the second seat, so he's in a 2 and I'm in B1. So I can see through the crack of my seat what Jimmy's on his computer and this is like six months ago. And on the top of his computer it says jokes for 2026.

[Jim Jeffries]

Jesus.

[Craig Ferguson]

Right? And I'm sitting there, and I'm sitting there like, I haven't got a new tour after I recorded my special Ready at this stage, right? And I'm seeing, I look down on my iPad and I'm watching an episode of mash.

[Jim Jeffries]

I'm you. That's what I'm doing.

[Craig Ferguson]

I'm watching a Hitler documentary like, like how time sensitive is it that I have to watch this MASH episode right away? And I thought, he's a much more professional man than me. But he's always in the suit. He always wears in the suit. He's the most immaculately dressed up, all tailored to him, the suit. He's on the plane, he's in the three piece suit. We're in Canada, where all of his TV shows airs. He's hugely famous. Everyone is walking on, ah, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. Like hello, hello. He's so nice to all of them. And then the person who sits in A one next to him is a blind woman, right? She goes past him, she's completely blind. She's got a guide dog. She's, you know, with the glasses, like cartoonishly blind, this woman, right? And she comes in, she sits down next to him and Jimmy just waits for a second. This is all I hear. He turns to her and goes, what breed of dog is that? And she goes, it's a German shepherd. And he goes, is that what they told you?

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh my God.

[Craig Ferguson]

She died laughing. And she didn't know who the fuck Jimmy Carr was. She just knew. He was a really, really funny man, you know, he hasn't really.

[Jim Jeffries]

I only met him once. I'm a big fan of what he does. I think he really fucking carved. His is is space. And, and, and I love what you. I love that his fearless one liner. It's unbelievable. I only met him once. I think it was just for laughs in Montreal. I was up doing something and he was there. And we had gone to see Davel because David, for me, Davitel is kind of like, if, you know, you know. Yeah, he's. He's like the Velvet Underground or something.

[Craig Ferguson]

You know what I mean?

[Jim Jeffries]

If, you know, you know, he's the comics.

[Craig Ferguson]

Comics. He's.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was watching the talent and. And Jimmy was there and I talked to him for about, I don't know, 20 minutes or something. I thought, Jesus, you know, he reminds me of. Did you ever meet Don Rickles?

[Craig Ferguson]

I was on a radio show with Domrick. I was on the Opie and Anthony show from Montreal. They were filming it and it was me, Jim Norton, I think, like Louis C.K. there was like five or six comics. And Dom Rickles. Dom Rickles came on and he sat down and I think it's the most quiet I've ever been in a podcast or a radio show in my entire life. Because I thought to myself, I'm not. I'm not gonna speak up. Like, I'm not gonna fucking cut over the top of this guy because I have a zinger. You know what I mean? Like, it was a. For a comedian, it was a meeting Elvis moment where I was like, fuck. And he came in and he just razzed everybody. And it was just like. He goes, hey, I don't do Tonight shows. Oh, I don't mind doing Leno. I occasionally done Letterman, but I don't do Fallon because I don ping pong. Right. It was just one of those things. I don't play ping pong because balance started bringing in all those games. Personally, I think quite fun. Right, right. But. But he. Everything was like. It was quite cutting what he was saying, but it was also so disarming. No offense taken whatsoever. He said something to me about being Australian. I can't even remember what he said. I remember just being like floating around the area, just like going, wow, Dom Rickles is right there. So to answer your question quickly, yes, I have. Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, see, that's the thing that Jimmy Carr reminded me of Don because I became friendly with Don Reckles. Cause he was on the show. Like, we'd go out for dinner with him. The first time he came to a party at my house in Los Angeles, and he was like. It was in the hills, so there was like steps and stuff to get into the house. And he gets. And he was all kind of out of breath, and he was with Barbara, his wife. And he came over and he had a dollar bill rolled up and he tucked it in my top pocket of my shirt. And he went, went, here's a buck. Buy your Wife, a fucking house. I'm like, what are you talking about? He said, you can't live here. You can't live here. You can't live in all these steps. And he came in and the place was teeming with comics and celebrities and all that kind of stuff. And every gathered around him like it was, it was like, you know, like he was the guru figure. He sat. He couldn't go downstairs or upstairs, so he sat in the front wall and everybody just went there and gathered their own. It was awesome. He's awesome guy. But Jimmy reminds me of him in the sense that I feel like, look, I only spoke to Jimmy for 20 minutes, but he has this super kind of. It's not aggressive what he does, but it has a real courage about it and real kind of, you know, it's a real kind of virulent standup. And then as a man, he just appeared to me as being this lovely gentle creature the way Don was.

[Craig Ferguson]

He is as. Not. Jimmy Carr's as nice a human being as you'll ever meet. I'm not just saying me, but for me, he's a person that I call if I am, I need help or I just like just, just, just advice from a person. There's very few people as grown men you call up and have advice with. You know what I mean? And I call Jimmy Carr when I need advice, whether it be in my personal life or my work life. And I'm very proud to say he's a good friend. Yeah, he's good. I'm glad to hear him. He's been a great guy to me. I thought we actually worked together really well. Like those shows people. We were selling 10,000 people to come and see the two of us. Where the two of us.

[Jim Jeffries]

I would go and see that tour. I would definitely go and see you individually.

[Craig Ferguson]

Individually, we were Both selling about 3 to 4,000 and then together 10, you know what I mean? And it's like. But you know what it was. We were both edgy comics in the same vein that we're going to say off color things that our stand up was so completely different that you had a good yin and yang to the show, but you were still getting the same vibe.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, I think that it is a good matchup. I remember seeing that you guys were out and thinking I would actually. I don't go and see comics, but I would go and see that.

[Craig Ferguson]

You know what? Because it was Canada, it was always a hockey arena. Like the Rogers Arena. Yeah, yeah. I have so many hockey jerseys in my Wardrobe right now that say Jeffries. And they're always very sweet when you get them. I'm always like, this is awesome. But you can't wear them because you look like. Who puts your name on the back? A five year old does that, like Jimmy on the back. And it's like you're a simpleton. So, not that I. And I don't watch ice hockey either, but I can't throw them out because they're. They're. They're major league hockey jerseys. You know what I mean? So I've just got them all piled up, ready to go. I've also got. From back in the day. This is a bit of Scottish for you. When I was doing the Edinburgh Festival, the manager of Hearts was Jim Jeffries.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, right.

[Craig Ferguson]

And I was at the Edinburgh Festival and I'd go on stage and there was a chant that they used to do to Jim Jeffries, the football manager. That was, cheer up, Jim Jeffries. Oh, what can it mean? You're a great big fat cunt with a shithouse football team.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, that sounds authentic. Yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

And I was like, like people were chanting that to me at gigs. I was like, what the has happened? I just got to Scotland and everyone's calling me a fat cunt to the monkeys.

[Jim Jeffries]

Did you ever meet him?

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. Jim Jeffries came to the show with a few members of Hearts. Then they took me out to the stadium and they go, please welcome your coach. Well, they didn't know American voice, but please welcome your coach, Jim Jeffries. And I walked down the pitch with a jersey and it was meant to be a laugh, but it was just LA lost 90 of the people, didn't know who I was. And then he came, but there was a photo of him giving me the jersey. And yeah, he was a good dude, man. He was all right. I don't know where he manages now, but back then he managed hunts.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, what you have to do is get all these jerseys with your names on them and you. You should open a sports bar.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

And then put them all up in your sports bar and then have a no camera policy and celebrities will come in. Look, it's just an idea. Yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

I think I should frame them, put them around my house, and then start telling my kids that they have to tell their kids and let the myth grow that I was good at every sport.

[Jim Jeffries]

That's a great idea. I'm gonna do that because I've got a lot of jerseys as well. You know that I've the only football games I've ever been to man, this is a real Hollywood thing. The only football games I've ever been to are Super Bowls. I haven't been to a football game that isn't a fucking Super Bowl.

[Craig Ferguson]

Oh, you never, you never seen, you never seen like soccer, Football as we call it? You never, you've never gone to see football?

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, I never got, I've got to see you a lot of soccer, but.

[Craig Ferguson]

I mean, American football game. I've never, I've been to one American football game when I was in Kansas and they took me along. Okay. Which leads me to my next project. I am, I am in a movie called Him a Jordan Peele movie directed by the great Justin Tipping. Who? Check out this guy, he's going to be a great director. Marlon Wayans. Tyreek Withers. I have a small partner. I haven't seen the movie yet, but it's like, you know all those Jordan Peele get out movies?

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, that's a great movie movie.

[Craig Ferguson]

It's one of those films, right. And it's all about American football and the concussions and stuff. I can't say much, much more about it yet. But is it a horror movie? I hate the term. It's a thriller horror movie, you know, like, like, like it's a scary movie. Yeah. Get out and us. It's in the same vein as the other movie, you know, but really good movies. But we were out in Albuquerque filming that. I was doing. Okay, so I was, I don't know if they'll show the footage of this ever, but they were doing the, they were doing. And because it's about American football, I'm like, and I'm not anti American sports. I love baseball, absolutely love baseball. And my son has gotten into basketball. So I'm, I follow the basketball as well now. Right. But I could go, I could watch baseball all day. Anyway, so I, I, they're doing the interview for the behind the Scenes on the movies and the first thing was like, so, so what's your best memory of American of the NFL? Like this, right? And I went, yeah, I don't really watch it. Right. I don't think it was the right answer. No. And they're like, no, no, no. And then they said this to me in the interview and they go, they go, so what drew you to play this character? And I went, well, I did an audition and I got the, like, I don't have, I'm not sitting around with scripts all around me. Me going, yeah, no, like I'm a stand up comedian who got an acting job, right. Like, yeah, like, like, like I'm not Brad Pitt. I don't get to choose my roles. I would.

[Jim Jeffries]

People do talk about all the time though.

[Craig Ferguson]

I know whenever I watch him, they go, I always wanted to play a character that was a villain with a bit of depth and this, that, the other. When they say things like that and you go, I haven't seen you in many movies at all. You just, you just took the role you could get, mate.

[Jim Jeffries]

You know, when you see the British actors, there's always posh British actors and they're talking about, I always wanted to play sort of a character that. And, and I, I always think whenever I played a character in a movie, the reason I did it was because they offered it to me.

[Craig Ferguson]

That was offered to do it.

[Jim Jeffries]

That was it.

[Craig Ferguson]

I said, I, I would have done this movie if it was bad. It just so happens that it's a really good movie and I'm lucky enough to be in it. People always ask me in interviews, like, do you think you'll do more sitcoms? Because, you know, my sitcom was reviewed really well, but I haven't really done one since, you know, And I go, that's like asking if I'll have sex with good looking women. It's not my decision. Yeah, it's up, it's up to them. You know, if one offers, of course I'm a married man. I'm just talking hypothetically, but you get what I'm saying. It's like, it's like it's not my decision. I would, I would very. So I'm putting it out in the universe. I would very much like to be in more movies and more sitcoms. I'm waiting by my phone. In fact, it's in my pocket right now, ready to go.

[Ice Cube]

The reviews and ratings are in and ice Cube's big three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS. With playoff elimination on the line, the stars will be flocking to Los Angeles to witness the most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win over Houston to make the playoffs, reeling from last week's savage beating at the hands of Chicago's possessed Montrez Harrell. Last time these teams met, Miami beat Houston, but they are a dangerous team having their manhood at stake. Then breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams will LA eventually. Previous shocking loss to perennial basketball Boston rivals to survive. Six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. Don't miss the Big three, the three on three basketball league everyone is talking about. There's no crying in the big three and the no hold spot action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern 1pm Pacific followed by two games on Vice starting at 6:30 Eastern. Presented by iHeart.

[Unknown]

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[Ebony]

Welcome to Pretty Private with ebony, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebony and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles and more and found the strength to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private in isn't just a podcast, it's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast network. Tune in on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Dr. Leah Tritate]

Sometimes it's hard to remember, but going.

[Craig Ferguson]

Through something like that is a traumatic experience, but it's also not the end of your life life.

[Dr. Leah Tritate]

That was my dad reminding me and so many others who need to hear it that our trauma is not our shame to carry and that we have big, bold and beautiful lives to live after what happened to us. I'm your host and co president of this organization, Dr. Lea Tritate. On my new podcast, the Unwanted Sorority, we wade through transformation to peel back healing and reveal what it actually looks like and sounds like in real time. Each week I sit down with people who've lived through harmony, harm, carried silence and are now reshaping the systems that failed us. We're going to talk about the adultification of black girls mothering as resistance and the tools we use for healing. The Unwanted Sorority is a safe space, not a quiet space. So let's lock in. We're moving towards liberation together. Listen to the Unwanted Sorority new episodes every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast podcasts.

[Jim Jeffries]

When I was younger, was a young standup. I don't know if, if the young standups are like this now, I don't think they are quite so much. But when I was younger, you had to talk yourself up all the time. Like, you know, you, I, I, or I felt like I had to, I was always saying how great I was or how big the crowd was or how much I'd killed and, and all that. And I don't feel, I don't care about any of that anymore. And, and I, I think the younger standups are probably okay a bit more. They throw crowd work up on social media and stuff.

[Craig Ferguson]

I think their bragging is more subtle but more in the mass. Right.

[Jim Jeffries]

Really?

[Craig Ferguson]

Well, they're putting up clips of themselves all the time. All the time, all the time. We used to hold onto material. I don't want to get rid of something. I don't want to get rid of something. And then I'd release a special and then you'd starve the audience until you could feed them again. Right. If you want to see me, you have to do that. Right. And then that's what the case. So you were saying about the, how big the crowd. There's a joke that applies to stand up comedy. There was, there was a comedian and he, you know, he was doing all right in the business, he'd made a bit of money, but he, you know, he thought maybe if he just had the right push in his career, everything would be all right. So he booked out the O2, right. And he puts billboards up all around London. He puts billboards up everywhere. And he thinks people just need to know who I am. Once they see me, they'll know I'm One of the greats, right? And 12 people show up in this big arena and the guy obviously has a terrible gig and he dies. And then he, he gives up comedy. And then a couple of years later, one of his comedian mates see him and said, what happened? He goes, I did that gig at the arena and only 20 people showed up, right? Like we always live.

[Jim Jeffries]

That's the truth of it.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. Even in failure, he couldn't say 12.

[Jim Jeffries]

I remember once doing a gig. I remember it was in Columbus, Ohio and I was like, the late night show was pumping, the time I was doing great numbers and big theaters and all that. And then suddenly I go to Columbus, Ohio, and the theater, it was like, there was like in a, it was like a 2000 seat or a 1200 seater, something like that. There was like, like maybe 250 people in it. I was like, what the fuck happened? And the promoter said, there's a football game tonight. We didn't think that the, the local team were going to make the playoffs, but they did make the playoffs. And I was like, but I don't think about anybody else being in town when I'm in town or the, or a sports game or, or something being on.

[Craig Ferguson]

You can't prejudge it. That happens every now and again. You'll go into a theater and only 2, 3, 400 people will show up. And you're like, what the fuck? I had one recently where I showed up at Casino and they said, oh, you've sold, you've sold 400 tickets. And I'm like, oh, Christ. And it was a 4,000 seater. And I'm like, that's gonna look horrendous, right? And then I walked out, the place was packed, right? And I thought I only sold 400. And they go, oh, we gave everybody who'd won, like had spent $200 gambling a ticket, right? They just wanted 4,000 people in their casino. Sure, right. So I'm like, I'm like, yeah, just do that every time and don't even.

[Jim Jeffries]

Tell me the numbers.

[Craig Ferguson]

I just want, me, I just want to walk out there and see it and feel good about myself.

[Jim Jeffries]

It's funny that though, that I nowadays, like, I used to get a real charge out of doing stand up and now I still get a charge out of it. But it's weird now. It's turned into some odd thing. I kind of relax when I'm doing it now. It feels, it feels almost like a, like an indulgence to go out and do stand up like a. I'm I'm in, I'm really relaxed and I enjoy it and it's, I don't give a. It's kind of great.

[Craig Ferguson]

I, I definitely appreciate it now a lot more. I don't know if I'm as relaxed.

[Jim Jeffries]

I think, I mean, about that.

[Craig Ferguson]

In fact, I think that I have to get to your stage. I'm actually relaxed because I'm still, I still worry about it going away because I, I've been doing theaters now for 16 years, right? Theaters and then, you know, 12 years before that, comedy clubs, right. And you know, if you told me when I first started doing theaters, I'd still be in theaters at this stage and the numbers aren't as high as my peak or whatever like that. But I do look at the audience and people come up and meet me afterwards and they're like, this is the fifth time I've seen you. And I can't take that for granted.

[Jim Jeffries]

No, I know I do. I have the exact same thing. People who come up and say, I grew up watching you on tv. I get that now as well. It's like, like, and they're like old.

[Craig Ferguson]

So my audience used to be all very young, right? And now about a few years younger than me. My audience used to be, now they're all sort of bit younger than me, my age or a bit older.

[Jim Jeffries]

Right, Right.

[Craig Ferguson]

I, I, I never had old people in my audience, but now I got kids coming, even though offensive.

[Jim Jeffries]

I get that too because of tick tock and clips and all that.

[Craig Ferguson]

Blokes my age who have teen 15 year old sons bringing their kids, 15 year old sons are like, I'll bloody show you a comedian. Come and see this bloke. He says, come on. He's a bit edgy. Don't tell your mother. We'll just come, the two of us, you know what I mean? And so it's like they're being kids and I'm, when, when they come, when Oasis get to America, even though I'm seeing them in, in England with Jimmy, I'm taking my 12 year old son to see Oasis, right? And he's listened to the albums, he watched the Supersonic documentary and they broke up 18 years ago. Like, my son doesn't even remember them ever being together. And I'm watching these two men, these two men who, in their early 50s, I believe, 50, something like that, early 50s, who, it's like when my wife watches the Real Housewives of Whatever or Vanderpump Rules or any of these reality shows where people all go talk and they're all not getting along and they're arguing with each other. Other. I believe the Gallagher brothers, for men my age has been a bit of gossip that we could all watch as men. You know what I mean? We're like, why can't they get along? Oh, I. And then, and then like, I, I hear they're talking to each other again. Oh, I hear they went to rehearsal and we had the same thing with Axl Rose and Slash, right?

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Just these.

[Craig Ferguson]

We want these men to get along. And then part of the experience now is they're walking out hand in hand and grown men are crying because I bet their mom's happy.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if you turn into that type of performer if your mom is happy. My wife has this theory that all stand up comedians have the same mom, which is. I'm gonna run it by you right now.

[Craig Ferguson]

Okay. Because I have a very exact mom.

[Jim Jeffries]

So let's see how we go cold with bad boundaries.

[Craig Ferguson]

When, when, when you say bad boundaries, what do we mean by bad boundaries?

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, maybe calling you up and telling you you had to go on camel again.

[Craig Ferguson]

My mother was. My mother has shaped my entire life. My entire life. Everything, everything goes back to my mother and what my mother. I'm writing my biography at the moment, and every now and again, if I'm having a bad day, I'm really going it. And then I go back and then scribble out some stuff like no one needs to know that bit of information that's private or whatever. But she was, she was super mentally abusive, physically abusive. I used to get beaten, you know, and she was. But there was something to her. I believe my wife doesn't quite understand this. I credit a lot of my success to this over bearing, domineering woman who used to tell me that I'd be nothing. And because me and my two brothers, all three of us are successful, we all came from working class family. So I think, okay, so you've got, in entertainment and sports, you've got these, you've got like King Richard, so Serena Williams and Venus Williams father, right? And then you. And then you've got Tiger woods dad. And then you've got Joe Jackson, right? I believe those three guys have very similar blokes, but it's all in the telling of the story. So. So you can say that, you can say that Joe Jackson was an abusive man who beat his children, right? Michael Jackson's father, abuse, abusive man who beat his children. And no one says and got results.

[Jim Jeffries]

Oh, I don't know.

[Craig Ferguson]

There seems to be side effects later on in life that are really unpleasant. We don't want to go too far into this. Right, but you don't get the Jackson 5 through positive reinforcement. No.

[Jim Jeffries]

Do you know Keith Robinson, the stand up.

[Craig Ferguson]

No.

[Jim Jeffries]

Keith is the guy who, he did a stand up special called Different Strokes because he had a stroke and then he was amazing St. He was a great stand up before, but he's like, he's had a stroke and he did it. I mean, he's amazing. His mother, he tells the story, his mother shot someone in a card game and they had to go on the run for a while. I was like, you beat everybody that beats everybody's mom. I think no one can beat that.

[Craig Ferguson]

My mother had Munchausen. So how about that for a doozy?

[Jim Jeffries]

Okay.

[Craig Ferguson]

That's, that's why we were always sick. And I can't speak on what my brothers had to go through, but we all had a different medical condition that happened to us.

[Jim Jeffries]

That was moonshot by proxy.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. You know what happened? My mother had polio. Right. She did have polio. So she had polio as a 13 year old girl, was in bed for a year and a half, almost died. And that's when everyone visited her. That's when people came to check on her. So she didn't just have Munchausens for herself. My mother also spent about two months or about a month and a half every year in hospital. She would talk to doctors until she got put in with her condition. She'd be in traction for her back or there'd be some other reason. And yeah, you know, people with fucking real diseases are only in there for a few days. My mother would be in hospital for a month and then two weeks later on in the year type of thing. Right. I always loved it when she was in hospital because everyone was nice to me. Everyone was like, oh, you poor boy, your mother's in hospital. I'm just sitting around eating buckets of crisps, watching the tv, you know, dad's off at work. It was, that was heaven. Mum in hospital was as good as it got.

[Jim Jeffries]

But my mother was in the hospital a lot when I was a kid as well. Funny that. Yeah, I think she was genuinely ill though. I don't know, maybe she had.

[Craig Ferguson]

She's pretty sick. So I think that's. She thought we all visited my mum every day when she was in hospital. We had to go there for an hour and visit her. Yeah, yeah. And so I think that's when People showed her love or attention or something like that. And when. So when she wasn't sick, we were sick. Yeah. And, you know, it became a very weird. And then growing up, the face, the haze sort of goes down and you go, what the fuck was all that? That was all my mother also. She. She always used to be like, she wanted a daughter, right? Never had a daughter, right? I was the youngest of three, right? And when I was born, I was the last roll of the dice, right? And I came out and there was the penis. Not happy. She didn't hold me, didn't hold me, right? Didn't hold me for a couple of days and then didn't change the diaper, the nappy for a couple of months, I believe, right? Because she didn't want to see the penis, right up to the day she died. She never liked me penis, right? Now I remember, I remember it. I remember sitting there on the thing and. Because you wanted a daughter, and she went to me, she goes, I'm all right with that. I said, I'm not gay, Mum, I'm not gay. She goes, but if you. If you were, you would. She would have loved you as a. Anyway. She goes. She goes, but if you are, that's fine. I go, but, Mum, didn't you.

[Jim Jeffries]

Didn't you.

[Craig Ferguson]

Didn't you. Didn't you just throw out all those Playboys under my bed? Didn't you find those and throw them all out? And she goes, I thought you put them there to put me off the scent. Now let's go back to your mum. Why was your mum sick with. I feel terrible now. You said my mum was really sick and I just glossed over it.

[Jim Jeffries]

I think she was. She got sick all the time. Time. She. When she was about the age I am now, a bit younger actually.

[Craig Ferguson]

She.

[Jim Jeffries]

She was in hospital. She had non Hodgkin's lymphoma. She had some weird cancer thing. She had arthritis and all that stuff. And she was on a breathing machine, on a ventilator. And they said, the doctor went in and I come out, you come in and see my mom, and she was unconscious and stuff and she was on a breathing tube and the. The doctor said, said, it's time for you to say goodbye to your mom. She's, you know, around between half an hour and an hour and we're going to take her off all the life support things and just stop. And I was like, okay, so. And we all sat there and we all said goodbye and they took her off all the life support and she lived 15 more fucking years after that. She got better. It was crazy.

[Craig Ferguson]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. I have a similar story. I'm not trying to top your story. I can't top that story. Of course I can't top. I'm going to tell you, this is so creepily, okay? I'm at the Edinburgh Festival. I'm halfway through my run, I'm having a career moment. Everything's going good. I get a phone call from my dad. Your mother's sick, right? Another one from my brother. Oh, yeah, your mum's sick. And then I, the doctor says, yeah, she's not going to last long, mate. You got to get pregnant back, right? So I get on a plane from Scotland. I have to go Scotland. London. London, Hong Kong. Hong Kong, Sydney, right? Yeah. And so I, I, you can't back. There's no wi fi on the plane. I can't turn on a phone, I can't find it. She might be dead. I'm sitting on the plane crying, will I make it? Won't I make it? I get to the hospital, she's sitting bolt upright in bed playing solitaire on an iPad.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, right, yeah.

[Craig Ferguson]

And I'm like, like. I'm like, what the fuck? And she's like, she's like. And then the doctor's like, oh, yeah, spirits picked up when she heard you were coming. And I'm like, okay. But she wasn't, like, just a little bit not sick. She was fine, right?

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, bad.

[Craig Ferguson]

And I'm like, okay, fine. So. So then my. When my mother was dying. When my mother was dying, she. She died because her leg broke. And then they put antibiotics that got infected, then they put antibiotics and then her kidneys packed in and then she asked not to be resuscitated. And it's meant to be quite a peaceful way to die, the kidneys. Then this. And then that organ stops and that organ stops. Then your heart stops in the end. And they said, oh, she has kidney failure. She could live with dialysis, but she's already old and she doesn't want to do that, right? So they're just going to let the kidneys go and then she's going to die, right? And the doctor was the same. They went, she won't last. She'll last about 24 hours like this, right? And me and my three brothers were in the room. We were went.

[Jim Jeffries]

Fool me once.

[Craig Ferguson]

And when they tell me she's dying. And I rang up my brothers and went, are you sure? It's a long flight. Are you sure? Because I'LL come back, but you gotta be positive about this. Anyway, so then. So then they go, no, she will die. And we're like, whoa, whoa. When I see it. When I see it.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. Anyway, anyway, when she. We're all around the beach bed, she took her last breaths and then she died. And then we all cried and we all hugged each other. And about 10 seconds later, she went. And then died again. And we all sort of stood over the body. We all stopped crying and went, get a doctor. Make sure. Make sure.

[Jim Jeffries]

Jesus. All right, mate, we're done. Listen, it's been great talking to you. I feel like I really want to come and see you do some work. When are you doing some dates?

[Craig Ferguson]

So where are you in the world you're in? I'm in the East Coast. I don't have anything booked in the near future, but I'll let you know because I'm just about to do Europe and the uk.

[Jim Jeffries]

Yeah, I was going to do that and I moved it to next year.

[Craig Ferguson]

Yeah. I'm starting at the end of. At the end. At the end of August, and I'm going all the way through to the beginning of December. So.

[Jim Jeffries]

Right.

[Craig Ferguson]

It's going to be a grind of a tour, but I'm doing. I've got. I don't know if you know Andrew Maxwell opening for me, the Irish comic who's. I don't know him, but I know he's very, very funny man. But, yeah, we're doing, like. I'm doing, like, Zagreb and, like, just places I haven't been before, like. Yeah, Istanbul and all this type of.

[Jim Jeffries]

So really, Istanbul's amaz.

[Craig Ferguson]

I've never been. I've heard. I've heard some good things. Me and Jimmy, even though we're not performing together, we're doing a festival in Saudi Arabia.

[Jim Jeffries]

Okay, that's interesting. How is Jimmy gonna. How are you both gonna work it? I don't. They have heavy censorship and stuff.

[Craig Ferguson]

Okay, here's the other. Here's the other comedians. Bill Burr.

[Jim Jeffries]

Okay.

[Craig Ferguson]

Kevin Hart. All right. And Louis C.K.

[Jim Jeffries]

Well, they couldn't get. And was it buddy. That's ridiculous.

[Craig Ferguson]

No, but, but, no, but my point.

[Jim Jeffries]

Is, I know they're all.

[Craig Ferguson]

Pick your. Cancel. Yeah.

[Jim Jeffries]

Okay, we're done.

[Ice Cube]

Ice Cube's Big Three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern, on CBS. With playoff elimination on the line. The most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win to make the playoffs and breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do a Die match for both teams. Six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. There's no crying in the big three and the no holds barred action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific presented by iHeart.

[Bob Crawford]

Got any fun trips coming up? One thing you probably haven't put on your packing list Learning the language. But with Babbel you can start talking in just a few weeks. Start speaking a new language with confidence thanks to Babbel's conversation based technique that quickly teaches you useful words and phrases about the things you actually talk about in the real world. There's over a dozen languages available to learn at your own pace so you can achieve your goals with material tailored to your individual proficiency level, interests and time availability. Studies from Yale, Michigan State and other leading universities continue to prove Babbel works with over 16 million subscriptions sold. Babbel's 14 award winning language courses are backed by a 20 day money back guarantee. So get talking with Babbel. Get up to 55% off at babbel.com joy spelled b a B-B-E-L.com joy babbel.com joy rules and restrictions may apply. I'm Bob Crawford, host of American History Hotline, a different type of podcast. You, the listener, ask the questions.

[Jim Jeffries]

Did George Washington really cut down a cherry tree?

[Dr. Leah Tritate]

Were JFK and Marilyn Monroe having an affair?

[Bob Crawford]

And I find the answers.

[Jim Jeffries]

I'm so glad you asked me this question.

[Ebony]

This is such a ridiculous story.

[Bob Crawford]

You can listen to American History Hotline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Dr. Leah Tritate]

If you're looking for another heavy podcast about trauma, this ain't it it. This is for the ones who had to survive and still show up as brilliant, loud, soft and whole. The Unwanted Sorority is where Black women, femmes and gender expansive survivors of sexual violence rewrite the rules on healing, support and what happens after. And I'm your host and co president of this organization, Dr. Leah Tritate. Listen to the Unwanted Sorority. New episodes every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pieces. Podcasts.

[Ebony]

This is an I Heart Podcast.