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JP Dinnell Podcast
Winning the War Within | The Battlefield of the Mind | JP Dinnell Podcast 134
00:59:23
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- [00:01]
A
Good morning. This is the JP Donnell podcast, episode 134. I am JP Danelle, and as always, I have Lucas with me. Winning the war within. You do not win the war within by feeling better. You win by leading. Leading yourself and leading those around you. Combat and war made a lot of sense to me. And to be honest, it was never really difficult or hard for me. And the reason why it made sense to me is because my mission was clear. The training was hard, the training was intentional, and I had great leadership that held me and our team to a very high standard. And that is what drove me to hold myself to a higher standard. But during the last 25 years, as I think back, I've made a lot of mistakes. Made a lot of mistakes in the SEAL teams, made a lot of mistakes in the civilian life, and I have failed over and over and over. Why is that? Because I allowed complacency to creep in. And to be honest, I lost sight of what my mission was at that current time in my life. Our mission is going to change. It's going to change many times throughout our lives, and I lost sight of that because I allowed complacency to creep in. Complacency kills, and we have to go to war with complacency every single day. Lucas, how are you doing?
- [01:44]
B
I'm doing great, man. We found out we got baby number three on the way, so complacency is not something we can afford for very much longer at our abode. Yeah, yeah. We got to get back into the swing of preparations and also figuring out new rhythms for what things are going to look like now that we've. We've got that happening. And as K's in first trimester.
- [02:12]
A
Nice.
- [02:13]
B
Yeah. Because we're. We're stoked about that. But now it's like, okay, so who needs to be putting the kids down? What pivots do we make whenever she's having morning sickness and this, that, and the other? And I will tell you, unlike war, which made sense to you, none of this makes very much sense to me. And at just like, this is it, then yeah, I'll do whatever I can to help.
- [02:35]
A
Well, that's, you know, one of the things I was thinking about as we were talking about this episode, and, you know, it's. The timing is pretty awesome because I had a call earlier today, today with a client, and one of the things that they want me to talk about on our next virtual session that we do through Echelon Front was winning the war within. And I just was like, chuckling when we were on that call. And I even asked him, I'm like, hey, what is your definition? Like, what's your perspective, like, for when you know me? We've worked together for a long time. You've heard me speak at the monster. You've been to an ftx. What. What do you want winning the War within to look like to your people? Because I have my perspective and I have my ideas, and it was really cool. We were very closely aligned. And, you know, I was on the call with Cody and Danny because they're also gonna be doing some different sessions with this client as well. And, you know, it just made me thinking about just what they were wanting. Some of the things I've been thinking about as I've been just thinking more typing, writing, you know, trying to be more intentional with those things that Jocko and Leif asked me to do. And then also for what we do with the podcast. And, you know, the biggest thing when it comes to, like, winning the War within is like, you actually have to define, like, what the enemy is. Like, who are you fighting? And, you know, we know the biggest enemy we're fighting is our ego.
- [03:55]
B
Right.
- [03:56]
A
Obviously, you know, complacency lies with the devil, avoiding doing the hard work, the victim mindset. And that comes from, like, lack of clarity of your mission. Because if we have clarity on what our mission is, it guides us to do the right things. We have clarity on our mission. It guides us to do the right things. That's why it made so much sense in the SEAL teams, because I knew what our mission was. I knew we were legitimately preparing for war. And it's, you know, we did a very good job. I felt like I did a good job in that workup and that deployment. But as I look back over, you know, that was 2005. We're doing that workup. So 21 years ago, 2005, 2006 timeframe, so 20, 21 years ago. I think, like, man, if I could have the wisdom and knowledge that I have now and just poured it back into myself when I was 22 years old, I would have trained so much harder. I would have trained so much smarter. All the things that, you know, seemed to be fun and important at the time, like, man, I wouldn't have been doing those things. I wouldn't have been going out and drinking all night with my buddies. Would I go out and have a few drinks with my buddies? Yeah, I still would for sure, but I wouldn't be getting hammered and spending all the money I spent on drinking. And, you know, here's the deal. Alcohol is never going to help you with your health. Never. It's never going to help your performance. It's never going to. Yeah, it's never going to help with your, you know, mental clarity and fortitude and your emotions and your hormones and all. It only is going to sabotage and ruin those things in your life. Now, am I saying that you shouldn't drink at all? I'm not saying that there's some people that can have a few drinks or a few glasses of wine and be good, but, you know, there's people like my brother that I fully respect, and he's like, hey, I cannot and will not ever drink again. Like, not even one drink, one beer, you know, and since he's made that decision and he made the decision and he took ownership over, that is drastically changed his life around, like, on the path, just, you know, training jiu jitsu, working out, going to church, serving at church, you know, staying super disciplined throughout the day, staying busy throughout the day, doing all these great things. Because he made that choice of like, no, my mission is to stop drinking and to never drink again and to stay on this path and having this new fresh start. And so the amount of respect that my family has for him, and I know you and a bunch of other guys that have been around him recently, same thing. And it's because he was very clear on that. There was no, like, wow, you know, here's some gray zones. No, it's white. It's black and white for him. And in the SEAL teams, it was black and white for me. But then as I look back and I think, like, man, I thought it was black and white, but there's still some gray zones there.
- [06:49]
B
Yeah.
- [06:50]
A
And I know that's something we all struggle with is as we look back on our life and we think about, oh, these are things that I wish I'd have done better or I could have done better. The only thing that we have to do now is make a choice. What are we going to do today and what are we going to do tomorrow? You have to win that war within every single day. This isn't like, hey, cool, I met Makota for the week, or met Makota for the month. It's an everyday battle. And, you know, as Christians, it's the same thing. Like, we have to be at war spiritually every single day. We have to be reading our Bible. We have to be listen to praise and worship. We have to be going to church. We have to be a Part of our communities and our groups and pouring into people. This isn't like, oh, I just go to church on Sunday, I'm good to go. No, this isn't. I mean, I know you as a pastor, preach this and live this. It's an everyday thing, 100%, you know, like our buddy Ethan and a lot of other people that are on the path trying to lose weight. It's an everyday thing. Every day you have to be eating right and working out and doing some sort of activity and staying on a program and staying on the path. I know some people are hearing that like, well, what about a rest day? Okay, that's fine. But those rest days are calculated. But you can also sabotage your whole week in one quote. Rest day.
- [08:07]
B
Yeah.
- [08:08]
A
By eating like a jerk and just. I mean, you really can. And you know that game and I know that as well. And it's like, okay, cool. Well, cool. This is my rest day. I'm not just going to throw out the whole week with it. I'm going to be disciplined. And that discipline gives us freedom. And so as I'm thinking about this subject and topic and bring it back to what we do at Echelon, Front man, when. When we just implement the laws of combat into our lives every day, it helps us win, cover and move, building relationships. Simple. Making sure our communication is simple, clear and concise and understood. And we have alignment, prioritize and execute. Detaching from our emotions, stepping back, looking at the big picture and saying, hey, what. What is going to have the most impact on the mission at hand right now, currently, for me to win decentralized command, empowering the people around us. And, you know, when I also look at decentralized command for a universal application to everybody listening to this podcast, to me, something that comes to mind is it's okay to ask for help. You know, if you're looking at it from a business and leadership aspect, delegation is a gift. Is delegating tasks to your people a good or bad thing? It's a good thing. Yeah, because you're giving them ownership. You're giving them buy in. You're giving them the ability to be a part of what you're doing. You're teaching them how to think, not what to think, but outside of business. When I think about decentralized command, it's having unity with the people that you're working through things, saying, hey, what do you think we should do right now? Hey, Lucas, I'm really struggling with this. What's your thoughts? What do you think I should do being humble, like, you can't take ownership if you lack humility. No, there's no way. And so the victims out there that play the victim card, how everything is always bad happening to them. Now, I know there are bad things that happen to people, but there are some people that live their lives in that victim mentality. And it's lack of humility, it's lack of ownership, it's lack of clarity of vision on their mission. And to be honest, it's a lack of discipline because they're not doing the things that they know they need to do. And in the SEAL teams, it was clear because we had good guidance, we had good leadership. The hardest battles I've ever fought was outside the SEAL teams losing my marriage, my health, my finances. And that was all stemmed in complacency creeping in and me losing sight of my vision of what the actual mission was. Hey, I got out of the military to make my marriage work and be there and be there for my family. Cool. I got a job. I was doing well at my job, but I wasn't applying any of the things I was applying to business, to my marriage. And therefore, my marriage fell apart. And so we have to just. We have to think about these things every single day. You know, my. My thoughts on belief. Like, you have to believe in the mission. You have to believe in yourself. You have to believe in the team. Without belief, nothing is possible. I know we said that before, but with belief alone, nothing is possible. You actually have to go out there and do the work. And, you know, some. You know, I know there are a lot of people and maybe some of our listeners have vision boards and all these things. And, you know, some people speak highly of them, some people talk down on them, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't care either way. Here's my thoughts about vision boards. They're useless unless you're taking action every day to go towards that. Just thinking about something does nothing for accomplishing like, or obtaining physical things you have to put in the work. Now, if you use a vision board or things on your whiteboard or pictures or whatever you do, post it notes or whatever, but you use that to drive your actions every day, then yes, that's a good thing. I know you and I have talked about it. I will switch up what's on my phone as a screensaver for whatever's going on in my life that I want to be more intentional about.
- [12:13]
B
Yeah.
- [12:13]
A
Is it a picture of my family? Is it a picture of my wife? Is it this quote that Pastor Chris Lerma gave me. Discipline produces desires. It's not the other way around, because the more disciplined you are with doing the hard things, once you see results, you desire to keep doing those things. You and I have both experienced that, and we're experiencing that right now with our health journey, being disciplined with our food and our workouts, we're getting progress. Oh, I like that. I'm going to keep doing that. You know, reading the word, being disciplined with reading the word, you desire that more and more and more. I. I know I sent it to you and a handful of other people. It was on Instagram, and I just said, this makes me want to read. Read and study the Bible even more. And it said, your biblical illiteracy is going to hurt you more than anything else. Never in the history of our nation have we been saturated with so many voices. The problem is we don't have enough discernment. I think people forget they hear somebody talking about something and it's true. They automatically run with that. But I'm about to say this again. They talk in truth. That doesn't mean it's God's truth. So how could that be when Jesus was being tempted in the wilderness? Jesus says it is written, and Satan says it is written. But you gotta know the difference. Like in that moment, Jesus is saying it is written, but the devil's quoting from the Psalms. I think we forget that. Like, he's quoting the Bible during the temptation of Jesus. He's actually saying something that it is written in the Bible. It is written, and then the next point is the messenger is corrupt. It's hard to discern when you don't know the truth. The more truth you know, the easier it is to discern a lie. Let's encourage people to get into the Word for themselves and to read the scripture for themselves and to have an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ for themselves and to have a prayer life for themselves and to stop worshipping men, but worship Christ. And that's why I sent that to you to a handful of other people. And I said, man, this makes me want to read and study the Bible even more. And Chris replies. He goes, that is awesome. The spirit of God will set you free, but the word of God will keep you free.
- [14:45]
B
Yeah.
- [14:45]
A
I was like, let's go.
- [14:46]
B
That's awesome, man.
- [14:48]
A
So, you know, mixing a little bit of combat, a little bit of business life and the gospel, our faith, which is the intent behind this podcast. So kind of where my brain's been
- [14:57]
B
recently with these things, you know, as we were talking about the war within. Like, I was obviously, as you have pointed out many times, taking a few notes. And one of the things that I thought about is like, what are the different kinds of wars that we fight within ourselves? Right. Because you mentioned, you know, it's about picking the battle. And so sometimes I've got some things here, some just in the conversations that I've had in probably the past, like three weeks with people, these are the few things that I see, like, recurring. And so. So what I want to do is just talk about how we approach some of these internal battles and some of these wars that we're waging kind of within ourselves and just sort of take these like one at a time and pick your brain on how you coach people through this kind of stuff. Right. So the first one, and you already alluded to it, the first one is discipline is the war that a lot of people fight is the need to be disciplined or they have a desire to be disciplined. The. The lifestyle that other people lead who, like, when a person's disciplined, they're like, you know, what if I could do X, Y or Z, whatever, Right. I just need some discipline in my life. That's the word that's waging within them. They want to be disciplined, but they aren't. How do you start that battle other than just be more disciplined? Which I believe was Jocko's answer to this question.
- [16:25]
A
Yeah, which. Which is a good answer. It's the truth. Like him and Leifa both said that just be more disciplined. Okay, cool. Yep, that's the answer. How do we actually do that? Well, I think that's something that comes from doing an honest self assessment. You have to know your capabilities. Desire and capabilities are two different things. So understanding your capabilities and your capacity is also really important. I think about something my brother said recently. He said, I always knew that I needed to stop drinking, but I never wanted to. And that reminded me of a quote I told. I've actually told this a handful of people over the years. I remember the first time I actually said it. It was 2000, I think it was springtime of 2018. I was up in St. Louis working with First Forum at one of their events, speaking at one of their events, and a guy was asking me a question, and I said, when you actually want to make these changes, you'll change the things in your life to align with that.
- [17:38]
B
Yeah.
- [17:38]
A
I was like. And I just looked at him, I said, you don't actually want to do these things. That's why you haven't Done them. What you're saying you want to do are obtainable goals. And that's the other part of it, is that you have to be realistic. And it's like, well, I want to make a billion dollars this year. Okay, well, I'm willing to bet that sounds dope. Yeah, it does sound dope. No, Cap, I'm willing to bet that I could put in 24, seven effort and not make a billion dollars this year.
- [18:11]
B
Yeah.
- [18:12]
A
Unless that was complete divine intervention.
- [18:15]
B
Right.
- [18:16]
A
That's the only way we're making a billion dollars. Right. So it has to be realistic. And it's like, hey, I want to lose 20 pounds within six months. That's realistic.
- [18:25]
B
Very doable.
- [18:26]
A
You can put in the work that. That's very doable. Hey, I want to, you know, I want to strengthen my marriage. Doable. Easy, right? You just have to be more intentional with your daily tasks. You have to be intentional with actually communicating to your spouse, listening to your spouse, subordinating your ego, serving your spouse, and having a game plan with your spouse. Okay. Hey, does that mean once a week we have a date night that is non negotiable and whatever date night looks like, it doesn't matter. That's for the two of you to determine. So you have to like, assess, like, okay, hey, what are my capabilities? What's my capacity? Is this realistic? Cool. Reverse engineer back and start small. One thing, like change one thing. You know, that's what I love about first end nutrition. When you start your coaching with them, which is awesome that they provide our listeners four free weeks of coaching, and this doesn't even count towards the four weeks, I believe the first week that you're with them, they literally tell you to change nothing. But just track your food daily. That's all they ask you to do. They're giving you one thing. As you and I both know, when you start tracking your food, you naturally start changing the way you eat.
- [19:43]
B
Oh, 100%. We were talking about this at lunch today. I, a friend of mine brought me street tacos and I ate the street tacos. And then I got on the app and I put the street tacos in and I was like, until I track these, these calories don't count. I can tell. Until I hit the lie, until I hit the button, it didn't happen. Yeah, right. And, but it did happen. And looking at them now, the adjustments that I have to make for the rest of the day in order to make sure that I'm maintaining my goals are going to have to be intentional. But not dramatic. And that's the thing is when we talk about discipline and that's one of the things, are you going to do something that's going to force you to make dramatic changes or are you going to, you know, maybe you have a street tacos or a piece of cake or whatever that is. And now you can make those small iterative adjustments for the rest of the day that yeah, they're inconvenient, but you're also paying slash rewarding yourself for what you were able to do earlier versus like, you know what, I had four pieces of cake and now I can't eat until tomorrow. Like those kinds of things, people do that and then that's where they, that's when you fall off.
- [21:01]
A
Yeah. And the word that came to my mind as you asked that question and then you started sharing this and it aligned with. It is intentionality being intentional with what we're doing every day. And okay, yeah, you're gonna be slightly uncomfortable the rest of the day trying to fit your macros in because you have to be very dialed in with consuming enough protein and you know, not exceeding your fat and okay, do we have our healthy balance of carbs in there but really focus on my protein. What inconvenience and what discomfort do you wanna choose in your life? Is it hitting your protein goals and caloric goals and working out and losing weight and feeling better and being healthier and sleeping better and being more attentive and performing at a higher level? Or do you want to be uncomfortable when you're trying to tie your shoes? Or do you want to be uncomfortable when you're trying to play with your kids? Do you want to be uncomfortable when you're trying to be intimate with your spouse? Do you want to be uncomfortable when you're speaking in public in front of a bunch of people? Do you want to be uncomfortable when you're doing a, a presentation to your leadership and you know you couldn't fit into your suit and you know what I mean? Like there's so many other uncomfortable things that we can live in life. It's like I'll choose the uncomfort of discipline. But to what Chris Lerma said, discipline produces desire. And then so that uncomfort goes away the more disciplined we are because discipline equals freedom.
- [22:16]
B
Yeah. Yeah. We had a situation where we were at relative's house for Easter weekend and we were just hanging out. They had a little egg hunt is Kirsten's aunt and uncle. They've got a nice piece of property and they have a, a Little tree house that they built for their grandkids who are now older than, than our kiddos. So Scotty and, and Levi are playing on the treehouse and they are climbing in places that are dangerous for them to get to. And now they're up above where Kay and I can get to him.
- [22:50]
A
Yeah, right. Gotta love having boys, actually. Boys and girls, kids, I should say
- [22:54]
B
kids, daughters, Kids who have adventurous spirits. Right. They're comfortable enough in their environment to where they know they can take risks, which is, it's a huge blessing to have that. And so, you know, they're, they're there and I'm looking at it, I'm like, okay, what's the fastest way up? It's not going up the ladder that my kids went up because one, that ladder is not designed for a grown up. The fastest way up is to, is to jump up to the first level, pull myself up, and get up to where my kid is. Six months ago I could have done it, but when I did it last Saturday, it was, dude, it was a breeze. I jumped up there, did it and got to the kid. And you know, Scotty was like, whoa. Yeah. Like, dad got up there fast. I said, no, don't go any further. You went further. Dad got up there fast enough to where he was like, I'm going back down. Yeah, that's, that's the reaction I want. Instead of dad says no. And now dad is like hauling himself up there and I've got my two year old. It's like, do you need help? That's not the reaction I want. I want him to be like, all right, Dad's quick enough to where he'll be able to get me if I get out of line. So I need to do what I was told.
- [24:06]
A
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And you're also, man, think about the standard you're setting for your kids. 100% the standard my parents set for all of us. That's why health has always been so important and a part of our lives. And even though, you know, kind of go off the path occasionally throughout life, like, it's easy to get back to it, if that's what you know.
- [24:23]
B
Yep. And, and that, you know, we're talking about the discomfort that's there. Some of that discomfort is in just getting to a point where you look at it and you're like, man, if, if something were to happen, if my child was to run out into the middle of the street, I don't know that I could catch him.
- [24:41]
A
And yeah, I know.
- [24:43]
B
Yeah, right. And so that that leads me into this, this number two saying. And I'll, I'll tell you a story that happened to me earlier this week because battle number two is with insecurity and what, what hit me this week, I was coming home and we have, there's a really sweet family in our community and I'm not gonna like out them in any way but they have a, they have a child who is on the far end of the spectrum. Non verbal and just has a lot of, of struggles but hyper intelligent and quite an escape artist. So caretaker went to use the bathroom and the kid let himself out and is just running down the street and there's just a child running down the street and there's this, I mean busy road. A lot of people see him in our community. A few of us knew like where he belonged and you know, so we're, we're trying to do it but I'm watching all of these people stop and they're trying to chase down this five or six year old kid and they're losing ground and I'm just thinking like as I'm, as I'm running her down yelling and you know, got him and got him back to his caretakers and they were relieved and we all just chatted and you know, we were able to help them with, with a couple of things and then you know, let them know that hey, we're, we're just going to be on the lookout because they're, they're new to the neighborhood and environment and all that stuff, right. And, and this, this kind of stuff happens, right? It just does. But in that I'm, I'm thinking to myself right like if, if I'm not there, like who is? How, how much further? What's that situation that like not that I've done anything heroic but in the sense that you know, the, the place that I was in, certainly like Holy Spirit led at the time, but if you're an adult who's losing ground to a five or six year old, that's, that's not a place that you want to be if you're a caretaker.
- [27:03]
A
Yeah, for sure.
- [27:04]
B
And this was one of the big things that motivated me around the time that we did the tom out of those run.
- [27:09]
A
Yeah.
- [27:10]
B
Is not just the example that I'm setting for my kids, but I was at a place where just my cardio was really bad and I was playing with my boys and one of them took off and I, I chased after him, was able to catch him, but it took me a little bit to recover I'm like, this is not good.
- [27:27]
A
Yeah, that's. Yeah, right? I mean, that's a wake up call.
- [27:29]
B
Yeah, it is. But if you're living in a. In a place where that war within is your insecurity, and whether that is insecurity and your abilities, whether the, it's your professional abilities and skill sets, or whether that insecurity is at a place where you're hesitant to engage, right? Maybe you've got some social insecurities or some anxieties, things like that. Or if your insecurity is based around what your physical capabilities are. If you were in a situation where you had to protect yourself or your family, if you're in a situation where maybe you are, and in that same spot, you're one of those adults that like, see something happen and you decide not to act because you're like, doesn't matter, I couldn't catch them anyway. Right? And that insecurity is creeping in because of that. How do you start to win the war against your insecurities?
- [28:18]
A
You have to decide to take action on something in your life. Like, you have to do something in a positive direction. Corey started training Jiu Jitsu, and Tuesday night they're doing some positional drilling, you know, kind of rolling. And he absolutely loved it. Called me Tuesday night after class and was just like, bro, for me to let me move and roll a little bit. And it was so much fun. He goes, man, I was just, man, like, my cardio, I need to get my cardio back. And I said, yep. I was like, you know, isn't it funny how people say they need to get in shape before they start training Jiu jitsu? I was like, if you just train Jiu Jitsu, you'll get in shape. He goes, oh, yeah. He goes, but I need to work on my cardio. You know, he did on Wednesday. No, went for a walk. Jog, Walk, jog, run, walk, jog, combo. There you go, hit the trails. He put in the work to advance the area of his life that he wanted to improve. And he's doing that in all these other areas. His finances, health, sobriety, you know, spiritual walk. Like, I mean, he's putting in the work every single day, which is awesome. And so I think about that and to your question is, okay, what, what area are you trying to improve? Go do something that will allow you to have some progress, give you some wins, give you some confidence. Allow yourself to see the progress. Okay, hey, you're not comfortable speaking in front of people, Speak in front of the mirror. And people might laugh at that. It's awkward at first when you're doing that. And then find a loved one, whether it's a spouse, a kid, a friend, and say, hey, I've got this big speech coming up. Or hey, I. You know, I'm going to be. I'm in this new leadership role. I'm going to have to be, you know, addressing my team. I'm super uncomfortable with it. Hey, can I practice my safety brief with you? If it's somebody that you love and loves you in your life, what do you think the answer is going to be?
- [30:13]
B
Yes.
- [30:14]
A
Okay. The fear is gone.
- [30:17]
B
Yeah.
- [30:17]
A
Take away that fear. Ask them, you know, and then just be like, hey, you know, and then just practice. And then next time, maybe you gather a group of your friends or it's your whole family, and you're having them sit down in chairs. Right. Like, all right, sit down around this table, and you stand at the. At the head of the table, and you're like, all right, guys, here's our brief today. Here's. You know, and just run through it and get confidence and then prompt your family, like, the next time you do it, hey, ask some questions, interrupt me. Push back, have an attitude. Right. So you were just heckle me. Yeah, exactly. And just increase the stress. Increase the stress. Increase the stress. Why do things break? Why do you think things break?
- [30:59]
B
Maintenance.
- [31:00]
A
Okay. What. What else? What are some other reasons?
- [31:02]
B
Yeah, because they're not worked on.
- [31:08]
A
Okay.
- [31:08]
B
Yeah. Which is almost. Almost the same as maintenance. Because they're unused.
- [31:15]
A
Unused. Old. Yeah, whatever. Right. We could go through a list of things.
- [31:18]
B
Yeah, it's like the. The house that, you know, looks great from the outside, but nobody's lived in it in 60 years. And you don't realize how much the stress of somebody walking on the house actually keeps the house in working order.
- [31:31]
A
The pressure that it's receiving exceeds the capacity. Right. And so the capacity of some of what something can hold, that pressure exceeds it. Therefore, it breaks. And so everything has different capacities. So we as humans have different capacities. And that's why people break. That's why people have hard times. They hit rock bottom because their capacity wasn't being strengthened daily.
- [31:58]
B
Yeah.
- [31:59]
A
They weren't strengthening themselves physically, spiritually, mentally. And that's why we have to do these things. And that's why if. Understand what your mission is, it clearly defines what you're supposed to be doing every single day. And if we have a plan, we can execute the plan. And the more you do these things, the stronger you get. Therefore, Your capacity grows. We can't give to others what we don't have ourselves. And that's why we have to develop ourselves. And I've said this before, you have to be selfish with your personal and professional development. Because if you're not growing yourself as a husband, what. What do you have to offer your wife? If you're not growing yourself as a father, what do you have to offer your kids? If you're not growing yourself as a leader, what do you have to offer your people? And so we have to be challenging ourselves and growing ourselves and making ourselves uncomfortable so that we can grow and become stronger and have more capacity. Therefore, we can carry and endure more stress and pressure. Yeah.
- [32:59]
B
There was a guy I was listening to recently said, self care is not spas and face masks. Self care is making yourself better.
- [33:08]
A
Yeah.
- [33:08]
B
For yourself and for the people around you.
- [33:10]
A
And hey, here's the deal. Sometimes that might be like, hey, you know, I'm gonna go to get a pedicure with my wife. Because that's an hour that I'm sitting next to my wife. Yeah. And we're just talking. You know what? She really likes getting pedicures. I don't care either way. But you know what? If my wife wants to go get a pedicure, bro, I'll go do it.
- [33:26]
B
Pull that cheese grater out and get after my feet, man.
- [33:29]
A
Exactly. Whatever. You know what I mean? Like I said that one time, you get pedicures, I'm like, yeah, with my wife.
- [33:35]
B
Yeah, 100%.
- [33:36]
A
You have anything else to say? And they're like, no, I was just. It was just, I didn't think and it was like a buddy. So I was kind of being aggressive back. I would never say that. Somebody I didn't know.
- [33:45]
B
You're not saying that to the clients.
- [33:47]
A
No. You got something else say, chump? That's not going to happen.
- [33:54]
B
Listen, get back to your crow.
- [33:56]
A
Sit down, nerd. Well, jock on. Life has been great. Appreciate the last nine half years.
- [34:01]
B
It was wonderful.
- [34:02]
A
Thank you. It's been good. While it's last. In other news, welcome to Walmart. Be the best greeter you've ever had. You know, so my. It was a buddy and he was just kind of like just poking at you? Well, yeah, he thought like it was funny. And then I was like, yeah, I do it with my wife. And his whole posture changed.
- [34:20]
B
I mean, it's different. Yeah.
- [34:21]
A
Oh, but then he actually received it. He goes, okay. Yeah, I could see that because I just never thought you'd get pedicures. I'm like, bro, like, what's wrong? I was like, tell me what's wrong with getting a pedicure? Like, taking care of your body, like, you're taking care of your feet. Let's remove my wife from that situation, that equation. Like, let's just say that's something that somebody wanted to do. And he was like, I guess there's nothing wrong with that. I'm like, okay. I was like, we being a little judgy. Judgy there, huh? He was like, okay.
- [34:51]
B
There was a. One of the comedians that we follow was talking about. He. He got stopped at tsa. They thought he had brass knuckles in his bag. And he's like, bro, that's not. I'm not that kind of dude. Like, I don't carry brass knuckles. I go, we gotta check your bag out. We think it's brass knuckles. He left his toe spreaders. He was like, yeah, not brass knuckles. You can go. And he's like, just the walk of shame. Yeah. He's like, yeah. He goes, I'm not gonna tell my friends what I'm telling you guys.
- [35:23]
A
Yeah, that's. Yeah.
- [35:25]
B
So, hey, you know, go get pedicures with your wife, but make sure you.
- [35:28]
A
Yeah.
- [35:29]
B
Throw the toe spreader.
- [35:30]
A
Do something with your spouse this week. Right? If we're just going to end the podcast right now, it'd be with two things. Do something with your spouse or your significant other and do something with your kids. Or if you don't have kids, go do something alone to give you a little bit of time to refresh, recharge and think. Like, think about what your mission in life is. What are you trying to accomplish? What do you need to do? Create a plan. Take time to think. Take time. Time to be still. Take time to listen. Take time to come up with a plan and then execute the plan. Like, that's what. That's what we're missing, man. Every time I've had issues in my life, it's because my vision was not clear of what the mission was and what I needed to be doing. And I was not doing the work. We have to put in the work.
- [36:21]
B
And, you know, the. The thing when we talk about insecurities is. And you mentioned it, right, that we just kind of get stuck in ourselves for some reason, and we've got to make a decision to start and to take action. One of the other ways that we get stuck in our heads is with resentment. And I think that this is probably. Well, right. And I think that this is one of the biggest killers because this is kind of the opposite side of. Of the insecurity. The insecurity is our ego in an idea that we're not enough and that we're never going to be able to do it and all of that stuff. And the resentments are oftentimes from our ego telling us that we weren't appreciated enough for the things that we did do.
- [37:06]
A
Yes.
- [37:07]
B
Right. So how do we begin to fight that war with our resentments? Because that's something else that's going to keep us from being not just there.
- [37:18]
A
If I'm resenting somebody, I have to ask myself a question. What is this rooted in? Why do I resent that person and really start peeling the layers back? Sometimes the answer might come up right away. Your ego, it might take a while. You might have to go through multiple issues and things with this person. But if you look at things through the lens of extreme ownership, it's liberating. Because as I continue peeling back the layers of resentment, if I'm being honest with myself, it's because my feelings are hurt because of my ego, my pride, and I can absolutely connect myself to something and be like, oh, well, I didn't do that. I didn't have that conversation. I didn't set these parameters, these expectations. I didn't maintain alignment. I didn't communicate regularly. While I should expect that from other people, if I'm a part of something with somebody else, like, finding out, like, something's happened, that you're like, oh, that's weird. I didn't know about this. Well, hold on. Let me ask myself, when's the last time I called that person to just check in? Hey, how are things going with your foundation? You know what I mean? Like, the therapeutic. Therapeutic recreational group that, you know, helped me go on the hunt, I want to help them out. Like, I really do. And that's one of the things I want to start talking with PJ and Robbie about is like, hey, how can I be involved in this foundation, which is a ministry in disguise of what they're doing? But I also know my time commitments are very limited and I'm helping with other things. But that would be. It would be like if I was doing something with them and they did some stuff that I didn't know about. Let's just say, like, I'm, like, a part of the organization, right? And this total hype. I'm literally making this up right now, which I really want to be able to help that foundation because I saw what it did for myself and the other four men. There, like, changed every single one of us in one weekend, similar to what Pursuit does.
- [39:13]
B
Right. And. And it got me some tasty stuff in my freezer.
- [39:16]
A
So good. You enjoy it?
- [39:17]
B
So far, so good. I'm having the jalapeno cheddar Neil guy. It's delicious.
- [39:24]
A
So good.
- [39:26]
B
Makes me very happy.
- [39:27]
A
Yeah. But let's just say, like, PJ and Robbie, you know, I don't know. They purchased a bunch of scopes.
- [39:34]
B
Okay.
- [39:35]
A
And I'm frustrated. I'm like, bro, why would you purchase those scopes? You know, I have a relationship with the president of Vortex, and he supports foundations. He supports everything I'm a part of. Why would you not? You know, can you imagine how silly that would be if I got mad at them for purchasing scopes, when in reality, which, from, like, initial glance, you could see that frustration. Yeah, it's valid.
- [40:01]
B
Yeah.
- [40:01]
A
I could be. You know, I could be frustrated. Be like, bro, like, I literally post about Vortex. I talk about Vortex, I talk about the president. I talk about these partners, partnership that I have with them, all these things. And I can initially have some resentment and be pissed off that they went with a competitor and not Vortex.
- [40:15]
B
Or even if they did go to Vortex, that they didn't call you first.
- [40:18]
A
Yes, exactly.
- [40:19]
B
Yeah.
- [40:19]
A
Maybe not as much resentment there.
- [40:20]
B
Right.
- [40:21]
A
But if they went with a competitor, I'd be like, bro, what the heck are you doing? Yeah. Oh, that's my ego flaring up. Because. Let me. Let me pause and assess and be like, when was the last time I reached out to these guys and said, hey, what's the schedule look like this year? How many hunts are we doing? How many guys per hunt? Okay, that's 20ish, guys. Okay, we're in. Are we. Are. Are we having to buy optics for all the rifles? Yeah. Okay. Hey, let me. Let me call my buddy Seamus and see if he can cut us a deal. Let me.
- [40:53]
B
That's an amazing name, by the way.
- [40:55]
A
Yeah.
- [40:55]
B
Yeah, it's a good Irish name.
- [40:57]
A
Yeah. He. Well, he's an amazing human, no doubt. But. So initially, I could have some resentment and be frustrated, or I could stop and detach my emotions and look at my ownership in this. My lack of ownership, of saying, oh, I'm helping a foundation grow, yet I don't have regular communication. Whose fault is that? It's mine. And if I can't have regular communication with the foundation that I'm wanting to help grow, should I be a part of that foundation if I can't commit the time needed to be a part of something. What should I do? Step back.
- [41:32]
B
Yeah.
- [41:32]
A
And that's an honorable decision. And I've had to do that over the last couple years of like, hey, I can't be involved in this, or, hey, I'm gonna have to step back, or, you know, I actually stepped down from a few boards of businesses that I was like, hey, guys, it is not fair for me to be a part of this because I cannot do what's required.
- [41:48]
B
Yeah.
- [41:49]
A
Like, I'm sorry, I can't. And, you know, that's a. An assessment I have to make and prioritization of my time and resources and energy and everything else like that. But it would be very easy for me to be resentful and pissed off at these guys in this imaginary situation that we created initially. But if I just actually asked myself, hey, what could I have done better to maintain regular communication with these guys? Why? What questions could I have asked to give me insight on what the foundation's needs were? I can bring it back to myself every time. And then as I do that more and more and more, then when my resentment flares up, I can be like, why am I feeling this way? Oh, that's my ego.
- [42:33]
B
Yeah.
- [42:33]
A
I dealt with that earlier today with something I was shared some information about something I was like, oh, that would have been nice to know. And then I'm like, oh, wait, why wasn't I asking questions? That's on me a hundred percent.
- [42:45]
B
Yeah.
- [42:45]
A
Like, and it was so easy. It was this initial flare up and I was like, oh, I'm frustrated. Why am I frustrated? My ego. Bring it back. What could I. Okay, cool, we're good. And now I know that today or tomorrow, I'm reach out and be like, hey, man, this is awesome. Heard some good news. What can I do to better support moving forward? Hey, what's the calendar look? You know what I mean? Like, there's all these things I can do. It's just me choosing to be intentional with communication, relationships, and understanding the strategic vision of the people around me. And if I understand that, I can support.
- [43:16]
B
What I heard was, don't get butt hurt. Is that. Is that a good sum up?
- [43:22]
A
I mean, with that. Appreciate you guys.
- [43:25]
B
Right. Well, okay, so I got. I got one more if we've got time for it.
- [43:28]
A
Yeah.
- [43:29]
B
And this is.
- [43:31]
A
This is making it up. Seven o', clock, I'm in my drop top cruising the streets. Nobody wants to hear me sing.
- [43:38]
B
Well, we got a video coming out. So there are. This question has to do with. At the heart of it. It's the same issue with the internal struggle, but it happens on opposite ends of the spectrum. Right. And that is that your internal struggle, the war within, is either about your regrets or about fear of the future. Right. That you're either looking too far back or too far forward. You can't get past the regrets that you're dwelling on or that you're so filled with anxiety about the potential outcomes of the future that in both places, you're fighting this battle within and it causes you to be inactive in both situations. So how do you. How do you address that?
- [44:32]
A
I want you to ask your question one more time. I have an answer. I have an answer. I just want to make.
- [44:37]
B
Yeah. And if you need to address it as two different questions and then that's cool. But if you are dwelling too much on the things of the past and your regrets or too much on future potentials, that you've become anxious that your war within is movement at all, because you've got your focus too much on the flow.
- [44:58]
A
So I'm gonna address the things from my past first.
- [45:01]
B
Yeah.
- [45:01]
A
I can't change my past. I cannot change my past. What can I do with my past? Assess, evaluate and make adjustments moving forward. Hey, I made this mistake because I did this or I did not do this. I had lack of ownership, my ego. I wasn't clear on the mission. I wasn't being default aggressive to put in the work. I wasn't being ethical. I was lying to myself. I was lying to the people around me. I took advantage, you know, like, whatever those reasons are, like, actually do an honest self assessment. What caused me these problems? Okay. Take that and use those lessons from your past so that you can be more mindful of them and hopefully not repeat them in the future. And now take those lessons and build confidence with this new knowledge, this new information and intel that you have so that you have a solid base and foundation for thinking strategically moving forward. Hey, when these things start to happen, I've already seen it before. That's why I think reading and listening to podcasts and studying history and talking with people is super important. Learning from other people's lives is so powerful. Reading books about leadership and history, that's what. That's why extreme ownership has been so popular and is still popular because Jocko and Leif wrote it about the mistakes they made, the lessons we learned, and how they can be applied to business and combat. That's why Dave Burke's book, the need to Lead, it does the same thing. That's why Rob Jones's book You know what I mean? Like all these impact, man. Andy Stump's new book coming out, bro.
- [46:43]
B
When are we getting him on to talk about it?
- [46:44]
A
He said he'd love to. He's just. I mean, he's in a crazy booking.
- [46:48]
B
I've heard about that.
- [46:49]
A
Yeah. Drown season.
- [46:51]
B
Drown proofing.
- [46:52]
A
Yeah. Yeah. His episode with Jocko.
- [46:56]
B
Yeah. Very cool.
- [46:58]
A
So good. So many, like, things like I took from that, I'm like, yep, yep. Oh, I never heard it put that way. Oh, you know what I did? I never experienced that.
- [47:08]
B
Yeah.
- [47:08]
A
And cool. Guess what? I'm taking that on board. And. And so seek information and knowledge. But knowledge is not power. It's the application of knowledge that allows us to do powerful things. Knowledge is power is a lie. It's not. The application of knowledge allows us to do powerful things. So cool. Collect information and data from other people from your past. Have confidence in your ability to move forward and start coming up with plans. But here's the other thing that will help you with the fear of the unknown for the future. Everyone thinks they have to have this big, awesome, perfect plan that they can execute. No. Do something. Take a small iterative step in a direction. And if it's the right direction, keep doing that. And knowing that it was the right direction will give you what? Confidence. And that confidence helps you build a little momentum. If I'm going down a path and it's like, cool, that was the wrong thing. But I made small iterative steps. I didn't over commit. I can pause, I can look around and I can adjust my next decision and then reroute. Think about it like land navigation, point A to point B. It's never going to be a straight line, Right? Never going to be a straight line. Cool. I'm headed in this direction, in this direction. And there can be a couple different paths that get me that way. What am I capable of actually doing? I can go up and over the mountain. All right, cool. Am I capable? Am I physically capable? Do I have the proper gear to go up and over the mountain if I'm physically capable? If I had the skill sets, the training, the gear. Cool. Do it. It's going to be an adventure. It's gonna be the freaking hardest path you've ever taken, but you can do it. Or I can just train, navigate around the base of the mountain and then go around the other one and still get to the same destination. So it's understanding, hey, your past. We all have a past. We've all made mistakes. Not all of us are winning every Single day.
- [49:09]
B
Right?
- [49:10]
A
Actually, I'd say none of us are winning every single day, all day. You might have some wins throughout the day, but you're not winning all day, every day. That's just not happening. It's not happening. And that's okay. We're going to make mistakes. Learn from your mistakes. Evaluate, assess, be honest with your assessments. Stop playing the victim card and take ownership over your life. And that's the key. It's like, take ownership over what you're doing and what you're going to do. Hey, cool, I made this mistake. Take ownership over it. Learn some lessons, apply those lessons, make changes, move forward. The most important part of that is move forward. Like when we were doing surf pastures in Buds and there's massive waves that we're having to paddle out. We don't paddle out all in one big long stroke. It's non stop movement in unison as a team. But the only way you make it up over that wave is pointing directly at the wave and moving forward. If you're slightly off in any angle, there's a high risk of you flipping that boat. So you have to be full force directed straight towards that, that problem, which is that wave. Like I am, I am moving straight at that wave in unison with my team. And it's one stroke after another. A lot of small iterative movements in the water that gain momentum. And eventually, guess what? You will get up and over, you'll crest, you'll come down, and guess what? There's another, another wave waiting for you. And that's life.
- [50:35]
B
Yeah. And so what about the folks on the other end of the spectrum? They're looking at the future and they're just stuck with anxiety.
- [50:44]
A
So I blended the two, right? I blended the two. And you have anxiety. Here's the deal. The anxiety never goes away if you stay in the same spot. Action takes away anxiety, confidence takes away anxiety. Momentum takes away anxiety. Because then you realize, oh, that's just the lie of the devil. Like Seth Stone always said, the devil is a liar. And you have to be careful what voices you're listening to and also who you're surrounding yourself with. What, what world do you live in? And that was a big thing for my brother. He's like, I. Isolation was killing me. I had to get away, I had to move, I had to come to Texas. I had to start over. And so we have to also be very mindful of the people we surround ourselves with. What type of environment are we living in? Change your people, change your people.
- [51:37]
B
Yeah. And if you want to get around some people who can help you and encourage you, go check out the Extreme Ownership Academy Extreme Ownership Online Academy. There is a weekly call that we do one o' clock Central time on Wednesdays where you can be with people who are going to help you and encourage you. And all this stuff that we've got going on here, if you're not plugged into a local church really would encourage you to do that. Go check it out. There's a lot of folks there that are going to be able to help keep you on the path too. If you want JP or one of the instructors from Echelon Front to come and work with your organization, go to echelonfront.com or shoot an email to info@echelonfront.com we talked a little bit about the folks over at first in Nutrition. I am back in my onboarding phase. I'm getting my seven days worth of of weigh ins and calorie counts and all of that stuff ready to turn over to my coach. If you want to get on the path, if you want to get disciplined and to fight this part of the war that's going on within yourself, go to firstinnutrition.com jppod and you'll get four free weeks of nutrition coaching from the people who are the best in the game. Whether your goal is to just be able to play with your kids, whether it's to cut weight for a competition, or whether it is to get to a place where physically you've never been before, then all the folks at First Nutrition are capable of doing that. Their coaches are top notch. JP talked a little bit about Bruiser Arms and the stuff that you guys do there with custom gear packages for people as well as custom training. Go check out at Bruiser Arms. Check them out. There are some links in the show notes for a place called Relive Health. If you are trying to optimize yourself like you got your nutrition dialed in and now you've, you know, you've got your jiu jitsu and you got your Bruiser Arms is set up and you're ready to go and what you really need is you need to figure out how it is that you can get a little bit of extra boost. Whenever you're wanting to get out of bed in the morning or maybe your sleep's off, go click the link in the show notes for Relive Health. They'll get a blood panel for you. You will get a free physician consultation there to get you set up with the things that you need. Some of the lifestyle changes that you may need to be making what that blood panel looks like. And then they can ship things all throughout the country if you get something prescribed to you through them or suggested to you through them. So check that out in the show notes. Check out our friends over at on the Path Printing. JP is wearing a one of shirt from on the Path and they've got some cool new stuff that's coming out. There's a JP Diddell podcast shirt that we've got coming out here pretty soon, some ideas for some new ones. So make sure that you're staying up on that following them as well as little Cattle co because summer is coming and you're going to want that after sun care from lcc. As always, huge shout out to our friends over at Origin and Jocko Fuel. If you go to jockofuel.com and use code JP Pod20, you can save yourself 20 on all that. It's keeping us fueled right now. We get the hydrates and the discipline goes. I just got the the Pro series protein and is quite delicious. Loving that. And the creatine packets.
- [54:39]
A
Oh yeah. It makes it so easy for you and your wife.
- [54:42]
B
Well, and for her. For her especially because if she's going to skip anything in the morning, it's gonna be getting creatine. And so with the packet she just dumps in a hydrate and the creatine packet puts in a sugar, she's good to go.
- [54:54]
A
Have you tried the new Pro Series pre workout?
- [54:56]
B
I have not, bro. Is it good?
- [54:59]
A
Yes.
- [54:59]
B
But disclaimer it does say to take half a scoop to get yourself going.
- [55:05]
A
I didn't read that part.
- [55:06]
B
No doubt about it.
- [55:06]
A
So I took a full scoop the other day.
- [55:09]
B
All 200 milligrams of caffeine. Just straight in.
- [55:12]
A
Yeah. Which is fine. I've done that before with other pre workouts. Sure.
- [55:16]
B
But tolerances.
- [55:18]
A
Yeah. Well, okay. There's some truth there.
- [55:20]
B
Yep.
- [55:21]
A
But their formula is different.
- [55:24]
B
Yeah.
- [55:24]
A
It is powerful.
- [55:26]
B
There's some proprietary stuff in this that it's really fascinating if you look at science behind it.
- [55:30]
A
It's absolutely incredible. Now my disclaimer is I would not take it and be doing the types of workouts that I do when I'm trying to get my cardio base up.
- [55:45]
B
Oh yeah.
- [55:45]
A
Like a 500 meter sprint on the rower and then however long that takes, half that time is your rest and then straight 500 meter sprint on the ski erg. However long that takes, half that is your rest and then half a mile on the Echo bike and Then however long that takes. Sprint.
- [56:03]
B
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- [56:05]
A
And then you run through that twice, and you set a 30 minute timer. So you run through that twice and the remaining time you're doing burpees, sit ups, jumping jacks, squat jumps.
- [56:17]
B
You shouldn't take any pre workout before that.
- [56:19]
A
Equal. Well, lessons were learned in equal segments. So if I started off by doing 10, so 10 burpees, 10 sit ups, 10 jumping jacks, 10 squat jumps, push ups. And then went back to doing that again. 10, 10, 10. And then eight, dropped it down to six, went back up to eight. I just kept playing with those numbers until I hit 30 minutes. That pre workout will work for that, but you will see colors. And then when you do that about three hours before Jiu Jitsu and you didn't have a long lift, in which I believe that pro series is probably designed for long lifts. You know, lifting weights, not doing what I did. When you go to Jiu Jitsu, three hours later, it's still in your system. And then
- [57:05]
B
get a little fired up all over again.
- [57:07]
A
You'll ride the lightning class. Like, even Brent noticed. He's like. Because after class, I was like, hey, bro, I'm really sorry. I know you're coach. So I'm gonna be doing some competitions this year. Yeah, Josh's as well. And so Brent is gonna be. You know, he had just had surgery. Surgery went really well. He actually had the same doctor I had for my bicep.
- [57:26]
B
Nice.
- [57:27]
A
Dr. Klein with Carol Clinic is shout out. That guy is amazing. Anyway, so Brent's got some downtime. So he's like, hey, I'm gonna be committed to coming and coaching you and Josh and Corey. Right. And just being there for you guys. And he could tell some. So afterwards I was like, bro, I'm sorry. Like, this was a waste of your time. This waste of my time. He's like, no, it wasn't. I'm like, I know it wasn't, but it felt like saying it. I was weak in my mind. And he goes, I could just. Yeah, something was off. And I told him what I did. He's like, Starts laughing at me. He's like.
- [57:57]
B
And all jacked up on Mountain Dew.
- [57:59]
A
Yeah. He's like, yeah, maybe we don't do that again. And I'm like, yeah, Roger that. Received.
- [58:03]
B
Yeah. So it does. They take. Start with half a skill scoop because it. It does as the case and lift
- [58:09]
A
half a scoop and lift weights.
- [58:11]
B
Like, hits different.
- [58:12]
A
It hits different. It flaps.
- [58:14]
B
Yeah.
- [58:14]
A
All right.
- [58:15]
B
It's. It's busting. And then finally join the the new Origins loyalty program.
- [58:21]
A
And then if somebody goes to jockeyfield.com and use JP Pod, 20 saves them 20.
- [58:26]
B
Even on the new stuff and on the kid stuff I got kid stuff is awesome. I got the Warrior Kid protein shakes. So we're about to. About to go on a little little trip and hang out with with some family down in in Austin. And so we need some stuff for the road that the boys are gonna drink that's gonna be good enough for them to have in the car and just chill. So. Warrior kid protein shakes. JB Pot. 20.
- [58:52]
A
Yeah. All right.
- [58:54]
B
Final thoughts?
- [58:55]
A
Yeah. If the mission is unclear, the mind becomes the battlefield. And when your mind is unclear, you will lose. And if you're losing right now, it's because you lost sight of your mission. Define your mission and get to work. I hope this episode has been a reminder to go do the work that's needed to put in the effort to build your legacy and to never settle. This has been the JP Denial podcast, episode 134.