#1677 Sneaky Chocolate Bar - Part 1

Summary

Juicebox Podcast: Type 1 Diabetes

Host: Scott Benner
Episode: #1677 Sneaky Chocolate Bar - Part 1
Guest: Danny, living with Type 1 Diabetes for 37 years (from the UK)
Date: November 11, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode features a candid and emotional conversation between host Scott Benner and Danny, a UK-based man who has lived with type 1 diabetes since childhood. Danny openly shares his decades-long struggle with diabetes management—from initial diagnosis as an active pre-teen, through young adulthood filled with denial and neglect, to the serious complications he eventually faced. The episode is devoted to raising awareness about the dangers of disregarding diabetes care, the normalization of burnout, and the slow, often invisible progression of complications. Danny’s story is intended as both a warning and a source of solidarity for listeners walking a similar path.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Danny’s Diagnosis and Early Years (02:35–09:05)

• Diagnosed at age 11 in 1988 after classic symptoms (weight loss, fatigue, excessive thirst and urination) [04:40].
• Initial management was strict:
  “Back then, we was told, you know, no chocolate, no candy, no sweets, nothing like that. It was zero tolerance.” – Danny (07:49)
• His mother was highly engaged in learning about diabetes management and strictly monitored his food and blood sugar [07:16–08:16].
• Danny's early attempts at sneaking treats resulted in quick parental detection, highlighting both the strictness and vigilance of his early support system [08:16–08:44].

2. Transition to Self-Management and Adolescence (09:05–13:29)

• The sense of difference and exclusion intensified during his late teens:
  “More 17, 18 is when I noticed I was different from everybody else. … I wanted to be included.” – Danny (09:05)
• Began skipping regular blood sugar testing, fabricating data in logs for clinic appointments [11:13–11:42].
• Admitted to testing maybe once a week between ages 17 and 19, driven partly by diabetes burnout—a concept he only learned about recently [11:46–13:05].
• Key realization in retrospect: “I wish I looked after it a lot better, you know, done them finger pokes back then.” – Danny (13:05)

3. Young Adulthood: Denial and Disengagement (19:02–25:25)

• Throughout his early 20s, Danny’s attitude was dismissive, assuming complications wouldn’t happen to him.
  • "You, you'll end up having problems with your eyes, gangrene, losing limbs. That was told to me … And I just, I didn't care at that time … I was like, I'll be all right.” – Danny (19:18)
• Engaged in risky behaviors during summers working abroad—heavy drinking, chain-smoking, and no blood glucose testing for months at a time [20:03–21:13].
• "It was drink, drink a lot, party hard and sleep a lot." – Danny (20:31)
• Even fatherhood and major life events did not immediately shift his engagement with diabetes care [25:07–25:25].

4. Consequences Begin: Physical and Emotional Impact (25:43–29:43)

• Neuropathy (nerve pain) in his feet became severe enough to disrupt sleep; he still didn’t connect this to his diabetes at first [25:43–28:04].
• Family and in-laws (many with diabetes experience) constantly urged him to improve care, but he remained in a cycle of temporary improvement followed by relapse into old patterns [27:32–28:04].
• First serious acute complication: Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA), 31 years after diagnosis, led to ICU hospitalization [28:47–33:18].
  • “If you don't get in the ambulance now, you're going to die.” – Paramedic to Danny (31:12)
• DKA episode was a major wake-up call:
  “That was the one that really, really shook me up.” – Danny (33:18)

5. Attempts at Re-Education and Modern Management (34:18–36:38)

• Attended the DAFNE (Dose Adjustment For Normal Eating) course in 2020, which “opened my eyes up to a lot of things” and re-educated him on carb counting and modern diabetes care tools [34:18–34:36].
• Despite better knowledge, old habits and competing priorities (particularly work and financial drive) repeatedly undermined consistent care [36:14–36:38].

6. Coping Mechanisms, Denial, and Mindset (35:30–40:53)

• Danny discusses the mental gymnastics of insisting he could “turn things around,” even as complications mounted [35:46–36:07].
• Scott emphasizes the gradual, nearly invisible slide into poor health—a process that often carries no visible warning signs and isn’t caused by apathy:
  “This slow kind of drift away from health can happen without you really knowing it … you're not consciously or even subconsciously saying to yourself, I don't want to be alive.” – Scott (39:53)
• “My thought process was earn the money quickly to have a better life with the kids … My health came second.” – Danny (41:01)

7. Complications Escalate: Ulcers, Infection, and Amputation (41:14–45:54)

• A foot ulcer and serious infection led to repeated hospitalizations and eventually, below-knee amputation on his right leg in 2022 [41:14–45:54].
• “Basically half the bottom of my big toe was hanging off … and you could see the infection spreading up my leg.” – Danny (42:10–44:21)
• Underwent unsuccessful angioplasty to restore blood flow, then received the news that amputation was necessary [44:21–45:53].
• Danny details the devastation and psychological impact of the amputation:
  • “I was devastated, you know, to hear something like that at the age of 40, odd wasn’t great.” – Danny (44:25)
  • “It completely rocked my world.” – Danny (46:11)

8. Reflection, Awareness, and Message to Listeners

• Danny's story is not about apathy, but about the slow drift into dangerous territory and how easy it is to miss the warning signs.
• The episode highlights the critical need for education, support, and honest self-assessment in living with diabetes, alongside the power of community and talking with others who understand burnout and mental health challenges.
• His call to listeners is to recognize how insidious diabetes neglect can be, and to act before complications arise.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On parental vigilance:
  “My mum would know. She knew straight away because she'd take like, do the finger poke when I got home … I couldn't get past my mum.” – Danny (08:16)

• On feeling different:
  “It sort of felt like I was restricted and I was on a curfew, you know, that's when it started to play in my mind more, I think, because I knew I was different.” – Danny (10:42)

• On diabetes burnout:
  “Never really learned about diabetes burnout. Never knew nothing about it until I started speaking to guys in the States early this year.” – Danny (11:54)

• On denial in young adulthood:
  “I just, I didn't care at that time when I was, you know, early 20s then I just did not care. I was like, I'll be all right.” – Danny (19:18)

• On the slow slide of poor management:
  “You wake up the next day and you're not dead, then you just feel like, oh, what I'm doing must be okay.” – Scott (38:46)

• On the reality of complications:
  “I pulled my sock off and basically half the bottom of my big toe was hanging off. …you could see the infection spreading up my leg.” – Danny (42:10–44:21)

• The emotional impact of amputation:
  "I was devastated, you know, to hear something like that at the age of 40, odd wasn't great." – Danny (44:25)

---

Important Timestamps

• Diagnosis and initial management: 02:35–09:05
• Adolescence, self-management challenges, and hiding poor habits: 09:05–13:29
• Life as a young adult: risk, denial, and “invincibility": 19:02–25:25
• First acute complication: DKA hospitalization: 28:47–33:18
• DAFNE (re-education) and aftermath: 34:18–36:38
• Major complications: Neuropathy, infection, and amputation: 41:14–45:54

---

Tone & Style

• The tone is candid, conversational, and at times rawly emotional—Danny shares regrets, dark humor, and self-deprecating honesty.
• Scott frequently provides validation, reassurance, and expert insights, emphasizing the systemic and psychological challenges faced by people with diabetes.

---

Final Message

Danny’s story is a powerful reminder: the consequences of neglecting diabetes are slow, insidious, and sometimes feel invisible—until they are not. His journey demonstrates the importance of continued education, honest self-awareness, and supportive community. Danny urges listeners not to wait for a crisis before taking their health seriously.

---

To continue Danny’s story and hear more about his journey and reflections, look for Part 2 in your podcast feed.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back friends. You are listening to the Juice Box Podcast.

[B]

Hi, my name is Danny. I'm a type 1 diabetic of 37 years. I am from the UK and I want to start raising awareness to the dangers of not looking after your diabetes.

[A]

If this is your first time listening to the Juice Box Podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple Podcasts or Spotify, really any audio app at all, look for the Juice Box Podcast and follow or subscribe. We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. Want to learn more about your diabetes management? Go to juiceboxpodcast.com up in the menu and look for Bold Beginnings, the Diabetes Pro Tip series and much more. This podcast is full of collections and series of information that will help you to live better with insulin. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juice Box Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. This episode is sponsored by the Tandem MOBI system which is powered by Tandem's newest algorithm, Control IQ Technology. Tandem MOBI has a predictive algorithm that helps prevent highs and lows and is now available for ages 2 and up. Learn more and get started today at tandomdiabetes.com Juicebox I'm having an On Body Vibe alert. This episode of the Juice Box Podcast is sponsored by Eversense365. The only one year wear CGM. That's one insertion and one CGM a year. One CGM, one year, not every 10 or 14 days. Eversensecgm.com Juicebox USMED is sponsoring this episode of the Juice Box Podcast and we've been getting our diabetes supplies from USMED for years. You can as well. Usmed.com juicebox or call 888-721-1514, use the link or the number, get your free benefits check and get started today with usmed.

[B]

Hi, my name's Danny. I'm type one diabetic of 37 years. I am from the UK and I want to start raising awareness to the dangers of not looking after your diabetes.

[A]

Danny, I appreciate you coming on and doing this with me.

[B]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

Oh, it's a pleasure. Did I see yesterday that you logged on a day early for our recording?

[B]

I was hoping you wasn't going to pick up on that.

[A]

That normally only happens to Australians, but I think you're going to be my first person from England to have that. That. So what, the date got confusing or I wonder how it works always. Because, like, what time is it now? Where you are, for example, is now.

[B]

It's 5:40pm But I just got my. I do it quite often, get my days mixed up. I. I've turned up to hospital appointments a week early, dentist appointments a day late. It's just me. If. If it's not wrote down in front of me, I'll forget.

[A]

Okay, so is it August 7th where you are right now?

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

Oh, geez, Danny, I was trying to give you an excuse and an out, but you just.

[B]

No, there's no excuses.

[A]

So I guess what happens to the Australians is that it's August 7th when it's August 6th here. And we often get that confusion where, you know, I log on and there's no one there, and I send the note and I say, hey, you know, you're not here for the recording. And they go, no, it's tomorrow. And I went, look harder. So, all right, well, yeah, anyway, no, I've got.

[B]

Not. I'm guilty, you, Honor.

[A]

So you've had Type one for how long again? Tell me.

[B]

So I was diagnosed in 1988 on the 4th of April. So 37. Just over 37 years now.

[A]

Wow, 88. That's a year before I graduated from high school. How old are you?

[B]

I am 48 now. Oh, gosh, 48 years young.

[A]

So what were you.

[B]

I was 11 when I was diagnosed. Just started high with secondary school, but high scores, I gather, equivalent.

[A]

Do you recall the. Those days of. Of being diagnosed? Do you remember how it happened? Yeah.

[B]

Leading up towards my diagnosis, I was always active, playing a lot of football, tennis, played a lot of sports, and for a couple of. For about a month, I was starting to lose a lot of weight, really tired, Always had a really good appetite for my food, wouldn't eat my food. I was going through three liters of, like, diluted squash a day, and as soon as I was drinking that pint of squash, I would go upstairs and I'd. Literally, within minutes, I'll be having. Having a wee. I remember my stepdad saying to me, to my mum, like, he's diabetic. So my mum took me to the doctors the next day. Within an hour, I was diagnosed as Type one and admitted to my local hospital.

[A]

Do you have any idea how your stepdad knew the signs?

[B]

I don't know how he knew the science to be his. His dad was diabetic or his uncle was diabetic, I think.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because it wasn't as common as it is to see the signs. These days in the 40s, you know, it was. It was a lot different back then.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I guess just the. The frequent urination, high blood sugars thing. If it's a thing you've seen before, maybe it just. It clicked for him, you know?

[B]

Yeah. I just don't know how, because, you know, he. He wasn't the most educated man. He was, you know, a real grafter, but he was the first one to recognize it, saying, you know, I was.

[A]

Waiting to see where you were gonna go when you started.

[B]

Like, yeah, I was trying not to, like, downplay his role in all of this. But, yeah, he, you know, he. He was a hard worker, and it was him that actually see the signs, figured it out. Wow.

[A]

Do you remember what your blood sugar was back then?

[B]

We do it slightly different in the uk, but no, I don't even remember.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't remember much of it. I just remember it was literally a week. We spent a week in hospital being educated.

[A]

And was that regular and mph? 88. What kind of insulin did you get? Do you remember?

[B]

It would have been mixed back in 88.

[A]

Okay. Okay. And what were you shooting A couple times a day?

[B]

So it would have been. There was still. Still two background insulins, and I think that was human atrophying back then.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

And I think I remember either two. It was definitely two, maybe three injections a day.

[A]

Okay. Who managed it for you? Was it you? Was it your mom? How did it get handled to start off with?

[B]

It was my mum. She was, like, amazing. Like, took it all in her stride. Educated herself really well on it, as did I as a kid.

[A]

Yeah, you.

[B]

When you discharged from hospital, you used to be able to buy this book. Now it's all different, isn't it? It's all apps and stuff, but back then it was a book called Countdown and it had all your carbs in it. It was the green was the good ones. Amber for okay. Red. Okay. Stay clear. Basically. Or they were the ones that, you know, the most carbs and sugars in.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Back then, we was told, you know, no chocolate, no candy, no sweets, nothing like that. It was zero tolerance.

[A]

Did you grow up that way?

[B]

I did from the age of. I was only allowed to have, like, a small chocolate bar if I was playing sports.

[A]

And that was to help you from being dizzy. Is that how they thought of it?

[B]

Yeah. And that was to keep the sugar. Sugar levels up, so used to reduce the insulin and just whack it up with a bit of chocolate or glucose tablets.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know I'd have that sneaky little chocolate bar now and again. I felt like I was really naughty. After a few years of, like, really being strict a bit, it was like, I'll have a sneaky chocolate bar. My mum would know. She knew straight away because she'd take like, do the finger poke when I got home and she's like, you played football today? And I was like, yeah, yeah. She was like, well, why are your blood sugar so high? So I couldn't, I couldn't get past my mum. My mum was spawned with it. She knew if I was lying or cheating.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, gosh.

[B]

There was a lot of sneaky chocolate bars eventually.

[A]

But, yeah, well, yeah, that, that's what we're going to get to. Right. We want to dive into that. So how many years do you think until. And do you see what might have caused a shift in how you managed yourself? Do you know where it went off the rails?

[B]

So I was diagnosed the age of 11, so I'd say late teens to early adulthood, sort of 16, 17, 18, sort of mark. More 17. 18 is when I noticed I was different from everybody else. More. More than ever. You know, at school I was quite open about my diabetes and people knew I was diabetic. But when once I hit adulthood and everyone was going, all my friends were going out drinking to bars and stuff, that's when I noticed, different from everybody else.

[A]

How'd it make you feel?

[B]

It's difficult to, to remember back then because, you know, up until the last five years, I've just lived my life. But back then it just. I was having to go out, then I was having to come. You know, we'd, we'd be out downtown in the bar, and I live quite close to town, so then I'd come home, have some insulin, then I'd go back out. But at first I wasn't drinking alcohol. I wasn't. I was smoking, I wasn't doing anything. And it just. After a few years, these sort of things started creeping in because I felt like it wasn't even people, peer pressure, me, I just, I wanted to be included. You know, I've always felt a little bit different from everybody else.

[A]

Okay, different. Like you were on the outside of something, like they were doing something you weren't doing.

[B]

Yeah, it was like, right, we got into such and such, like we're going to a nightclub and it would be finishing at 2, 3 in the morning. I'd block my car because I've got, you know, I've got to take my insulin and obviously I started on the vials and needles back then.

[A]

Yeah. So you had like, in your mind, you're like, well, I got to get home by a certain time because I've got to inject. Yeah.

[B]

I was. It sort of felt like I was restricted and I was on a curfew, you know, that's when it started to play in my mind more, I think, because I knew I was different from everybody else.

[A]

And then how do you manage that? Instead of looking for a way to take your insulin at the bar or something, you just decide not to take it or how does it like.

[B]

So eventually I went on to the disposable pens, and that was easier because you could put them in your coat pocket and there was a bit more discreet because you just had a screw on, needle on the top.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it just looked like a big marker pen in your pocket. So that. That was good. But then I wasn't testing my blood sugars properly. You know, I was going to hospital appointments and we used to have a diary back then. There was no CGMs, and you used to have to write with. I'd be sat outside the clinic filling in all my blood sugars.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because they'd be saying, right, we need blood sugars for this day. These times I'd write them all in this book and I just make them up.

[A]

Can I ask you, with hindsight, why did you not test?

[B]

Part of it was laziness. And I never really learned about diabetes burnout.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Never knew nothing about it until I started speaking to guys in the States early this year. And that's when I, you know, really learned more about diabetes burnout and thought, jeez, I have had it over the years and not really known about it.

[A]

I have a hard time imagining that many people are going to go through living a life with diabetes and not experience maybe many different seasons of difficulty just doing, you know, what seem like simple things. You know, test your blood sugar. I don't see how it can't. Like, just the same way you talked about just slowly feeling different, it kind of creeps up on you. And then you don't know how you got there. You start having reactions to it and acting differently or doing differently. And then before you know it, it's been a week and a month and you're not dead. So you're like, ah, this must be okay. And then you kind of don't think about it anymore. It's. It's the same. I think it's the same process that people get unhealthy and, you know, a lot of different ways. Gain weight, stop exercising, stop communicating with people you love. Like, I think all of that kind of drifts away in a similar fashion.

[B]

Yeah, 100. And, you know, now when I look back to how I am now, health wise, I wish I looked after it a lot better, you know, done them finger pokes back then. And if I'm honest, Scott, I was doing once a week, if he was lucky, for a number of months between the ages of 17 and 19.

[A]

Yeah, once. What was once a week even accomplishing? Do you know?

[B]

Nothing wasn't, because I wasn't even changing my insulin ratio. You know, if I was high, I wasn't giving more, you know, I wasn't giving more insulin. If I was like, I was just sticking to the same regime that I was insulin wise that I was on at the age of 16.

[A]

Yeah, before you feel too bad, you know, let me tell you this. Like, Arden had a pretty simple, like, medical procedure yesterday, right? So she had her tonsils out, but she's 21, so, you know, it's a bit of an ass kicking getting your tonsils out when you're 21. So she comes home, we, you know, had it set up prior. I'm just gonna like run her her blood sugars and everything, you know, while, while she's. Because she's also on pain medication and stuff like that, so she was good for a while. Actually, I want to give a lot of credit to the Trio app, which kept her blood sugar super stable overnight, you know, super stable in the morning before the surgery, during the surgery, just awesome blood sugars for the lead up to the process. Then at some point, you know, the pain's gonna hit her a little bit of, you know, all the things that come with having a surgery and everything else. And I know she's going to need more insulin. And I still spent the better part of like six or eight hours bolusing. Like, I kept bolusing and bolusing before, like, before even my brain was like, dude, turn up the basil. What are you doing? You know what I mean? And if you were to come on this podcast and tell me that story, I would immediately, without hesitation tell you, like, as soon as I saw the blood sugars wanting to creep up after the surgery, I'd probably look at like 150 basil. 150% basil, you know, yeah, you're getting a unit an hour, make it a unit and a half, that kind of vibe. And yet for me, like, you get caught in the moment and Everything's going on, and you just like, oh, higher blood sugar, elbows, higher blood sugar, bolus. And I finally, like, you know, I don't know what happened to me. Like, four in the morning, I woke up, I looked at her blood sugar. It was like 180. And I'm like, what is happening? And then it just hit me. I'm like, oh, dummy, what are you doing? So I went in and I changed her basal rate. I literally just turned it up by 100%. She's getting two units an hour right now instead of one. And now I haven't even looked in a while. I'm looking right now with you now. Our blood sugar is 119 or 114.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So with all that technology and all that knowledge. My point is there were still 12 hours in there where my brain didn't go, oh, do the thing. You know, do this. So I can't imagine when you're taking three shots a day and, you know, I mean, doing a blood sugar test, that probably was meaningless, right? Like, you would do them and then what? Nothing. Why would you settle for changing your CGM every few weeks when you can have 365 days of reliable glucose data? Today's episode is sponsored by the Eversense365. It is the only CGM with a tiny sensor that lasts a full year. Sitting comfortably under your skin with no more frequent sensor changes and essentially no compression lows for one year, you'll get your CGM data in real time on your phone, smartwatch, Android or iOS, even an Apple watch. Predictive high and low alerts let you know where your glucose is headed before it gets there. So there's no surprises, just confidence. And you can instantly share that data with your healthcare provider or your family. You're going to get one year of reliable data without all those sensor changes. That's the Eversense 365. Gentle on your skin, strong for your life. One sensor a year. That gives you one less thing to worry about. Head now to eversensecgm.com juicebox to get started. I used to hate ordering my daughter's diabetes supplies. I never had a good experience and it was frustrating, but it hasn't been that way for a while. Actually, for about three years now, because that's how long we've been using USMED usmed.com juicebox or call 888-721-1514. USMED is the number one distributor for Freestyle Libre Systems nationwide. They are the 1 specialty distributor for Omnipod- the 1 fastest growing tandem distributor nationwide. The 1 rated distributor in Dexcom customer satisfaction surveys. They have served over 1 million people with diabetes since 1996. And they always provide 90 days worth of supplies and fast and free shipping. USMED carries everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGMs like the Libre 3 and Dexcom G7. They accept Medicare nationwide and over 800 private insurers. Find out why US Med has an A plus rating with a Better Business Bureau at usmed.com juicebox or just call them at 888-721-1514. Get started right now and you'll be getting your supplies the same way we do. Right. You just.

[B]

No, I'd be like, oh, I'm a bit high, but I'm gonna. Like I said, I was very active. I was doing a lot of love, playing a lot of football.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it was, it was quite easy to lower them sugars.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because I was, I was always active around everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So I never worried too much about it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

If that made sense.

[A]

And did you have any expectations? Did you have knowledge? I mean, 17, 18, 19 years old. Did you know what not taking enough insulin would do to you long term? Or do you have any feeling for what that could be?

[B]

Problem I have, I. You know, as a, like a proud man, I. I'll never admit defeat or these things will happen to you. You, you'll end up having problems with your eyes, gangrene, losing limbs. That was told to me when I was a very young age. And I just, I didn't care at that time when I was, you know, early 20s then I just did not care. I was like, I'll be all right. I'll be right. Because like I said, I was doing that odd finger poke now and again.

[A]

And it's not gonna happen to me. Right?

[B]

Nothing, nothing was happening to me. So it's like, I'm okay, I'm okay.

[A]

I'll just carry on, feel invincible.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what happened after 20? Which way did it go then?

[B]

So I, I start when in my early 20s, I, I decided to go and work away for the summer in Portugal. Got my big stock of insulin from, Went to the hospital, got signed off, big prescription to take it with me. So I was over there for six months of the year. And it was a completely different culture for me. It was drink, drink a lot, party hard and sleep a lot.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So. And I, I stuck to the same insulin regime that they give me. And I went six months of that year not Testing at all. Not one, not one single finger poke back then. And I've done that for three summers consecutively.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So summers, summers were, were a vacation from reality.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Vacation for reality, you know, and it's like always say, you know, you can go on holiday but your diabetes doesn't mind. Did mine had a six months vacation set.

[A]

Your result?

[B]

Yeah. So it was just. And I was a heavy smoker, but Yeah, I was 22 years old.

[A]

Cigarettes?

[B]

Yeah. Smoking 60 cigarettes a day. Nearly.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Between 40 and 60 cigarettes and just every night just drinking for six months.

[A]

Pretty much had three packs. 63 packs, right?

[B]

Yeah. Wow.

[A]

So just awake. If you were awake, you were smoking or drinking and then you were sleeping otherwise. Let's talk about the Tandem Moby insulin pump from today's sponsor, Tandem Diabetes Care. Their newest algorithm, Control IQ technology and the new Tandem Moby pump offer you unique opportunities to have better control. It's the only system with autobolus that helps with missed meals and preventing hyperglycemia, the only system with a dedicated sleep setting, and the only system with off or on body wear options. Tandem Mobi gives you more discretion, freedom and options for how to manage your diabetes. This is their best algorithm ever and they'd like you to check it [e-mail] juicebox when you get to my link, you're going to see integrations with Dexcom sensors and a ton of other information that's going to help you find. Learn about Tandem's tiny pump that's big on control. Tandomdiabetes.com juicebox the tandem mobi system is available for people ages 2 and up who want an automated delivery system to help them sleep better, wake up in range and address high blood sugars with auto bolus.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Taking any insulin? How are you doing?

[B]

I was doing the insulin, all the insulin I was doing and it was literally just the same regime. So I wouldn't even know because I was drinking a lot of vodka. Red Bulls, obviously. Red Bull is full of sugar, isn't it? So, you know, I was drinking a lot of them, so God knows what it was doing to me inside. But at the time I didn't care. I was having a good time.

[A]

You hadn't changed your settings since you were 16.

[B]

No, 8. So I changed it about 18, 19. Oh, sorry. I changed it when I was about 20, when I knew I was going to Portugal and I thought, right, I need to sort of prepare for this a little bit. So I sort of behaved myself a little bit. Before I went away, then I got over there and it was just like, you know, by the end of the summer that, that blood monitor, blood glucose monitor had dust on it.

[A]

And, and the amount of insulin you were taking didn't change if you gained weight. It didn't change if you ate more.

[B]

I wasn't gaining a lot of weight because I wasn't eating a great deal because I was spending all my money on going out partying.

[A]

Yeah. Let me also say, I would also imagine if your blood sugars were high all the time, that's another reason you weren't gaining weight.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So, okay. And so for six months a year, you'd be in Portugal.

[B]

Yeah, I'd done that from, for six months of the year for the summer season, I'd come back to the uk. I think between the first and second year, I didn't even go back and see my endo things that just went back and done the same again. I was doing finger pokes and stuff. And I got back, I thought right back in the uk, you need to sort myself out of it. So I did. Then I was. And not frequent maybe twice a day. Once in the morning, once in the evening. Before I knew I was going to bed or fall asleep, I'd do another one, see what I was like overnight.

[A]

Was your mom checking in on you with diabetes or had she stopped at that time?

[B]

I was living on my own. I had my own place, so I was able to, you know, I was living on my own.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I'm 48 years old now and she still tells me off to certain things. Not so much these days because it is pretty much really well controlled. Still have the off day, but I'm pretty much there now.

[A]

So you said the last five years you've been kind of on top of it?

[B]

To a certain extent. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know, even when my first child was born, she's 21 this year, so I was 27 when my first daughter was born and I, I ended up having a hypo. When my ex, my ex wife, now, she was delivering a baby, I had to go outside and get some sweets inside me because I was having a hypo.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

So I, I didn't look after it for a number of years. A long, long period.

[A]

Okay. I mean, I think this is the crux of why you came on. Right. Like when you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

First introduced yourself, you said, help people to not, not ignore their diabetes. So tell me, let's jump to your first complication.

[B]

What?

[A]

How old were you and what was it?

[B]

So 2018, I started losing feeling in my feet, really suffering with a lot of pain in my lower limbs. And basically I was losing all the feeling in my feet. And people saying to me, you know, my father in law was a diet type 1 diabetic and he was an amputee. He ended up having the leg amputated as well for different reasons, not through diabetes, but he was like, you need to stop smoking, you need. And I was still smoking, not as much as I was when I was younger, but still smoking quite a lot. And I was like, you know, the same old Danny, you know, I'll be all right. You know, there's nothing, nothing's wrong with me at the moment. But the pain I was in of a night time was incredible. They ended up giving me some amitriptyline to help me sleep at nighttime because I was, I was constantly fidgeting at night.

[A]

Danny, let me stop, let me stop you for a second. So your father in law had type 1 DIA, has type 1 diabetes?

[B]

He did, yeah. He passed away a couple of years ago. But yeah, he was a type one as well.

[A]

But back then, when you're telling this part of the story where you're having neuropathy and leg pain and. And he says to you, you got to stop smoking. Does he. Has he had a limb removed at that point?

[B]

It was 2018. No, he was too. He was during COVID 2020.

[A]

Okay. So he. But he knew about neuropathy because he was experiencing it as well.

[B]

He used to end up going to podiatry because he had a bad charcoal foot. And he could see the people in there losing limbs through their diabetes. And he's like, danny, you really need to get control of this.

[A]

Gotcha. Okay. And you said, no.

[B]

Oh, Scott. I was always the one that would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I will do, I will do. Yeah, definitely. And I do A couple of weeks of eating better, you know, testing my blood sugar and I'd go back to the old routine again of now and again testing the blood sugar, you know, just the same old thing. Yeah, Become invincible.

[A]

And even with the pain in your legs, did you connect those things? Did you say, oh, my blood sugars, my smoking, etc, this is where the pain's coming from. Or did you not connect them?

[B]

I didn't connect them. If, if the truth be known, you know, when I started looking up about what was going on with my feet, losing the sensation in them, my mum was like, is she diabetes, Danny? Is your diabetes. You need to sort it out. You need to sort it out. And I was like, I will, I will. You know, And I did start looking after it better. And then 2019, I was admitted to hospital in the, in the August dka, which I didn't know. I, I think I'd had it a couple of years beforehand, like quite a few years ago, twice. And that had misdiagnosed at a hospital. Well, they told me it was saying, they told me it was gastroenteritis.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It was a gastro thing, so I didn't think nothing of it. But this, this one really scared me. In 2019, the DKA scared you? The DKA? Yeah. My ketones were like greater than seven. They couldn't even get a reading of how high my blood sugar was. It was that high.

[A]

Yeah. I want to make sure I'm right. That's 31 years after you're diagnosed, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay, please tell me like, if I asked you five minutes before you were in that hospital, if I would have asked you to, to describe to me the level of care that you provide for yourself, how would you have described it?

[B]

Poor. Very poor.

[A]

You knew it?

[B]

Yeah. Oh yeah, I know. You know, to be honest, I just thought I had a stomach bug that week. I was just being sick. What I was doing. I was still giving insulin but wasn't eating. Yeah, I had, I, I needed re educating about diabetes.

[A]

Yeah. You're not wearing a CGM at that point.

[B]

No, no, that, that, that came in 2021, I believe. Yes. 2021 or 22. 2022, yeah.

[A]

In the last 10 of the 31 years that we're talking about right there, did you see an endo every year?

[B]

Sometimes. Sometimes the problem I, I had, I was too busy. You know, the job that I'd done was very, very physical, very active. But there was a lot of money to be earned, if that makes sense. You know, you never turn the overtime down. If there was a shift there, you'd be like, yep, I'll do it, I'll do it. And never for the repercussions.

[A]

Yeah, you skip them because you feel like you didn't have the time. You're making money and, and things are going well that way. Okay, I'm sorry. So we have neuropathy. Your father in law says, hey, get some help. You don't do anything there. 2019, the DK comes. That's, let's pick it up from there. You're in the hospital with the dk. How does that process go?

[B]

So, yeah, basically my partner called an ambulance for Me. And I was like, I don't need an ambulance. Just got a sickness bug. Paramedics came into the bedroom. My blood glucose meter had run out of battery. We found a spare one, but the test strips were out of date, so we couldn't even get a reading on that. They tested me and they said, you're in. You're in dka.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, what's dka? And they explained it to me and I was like, no, I'm not. I feel fine. It's not doing my diabetes. Got a stomach bug. And they just said to me, listen, Danny, if you don't get in the ambulance now, you're going to die. And I was like, I'll just pack a bag. So did you believe them until? I think it took that scare factor for me to. If they would have just been like, okay, leave you. You know, you don't want to get in the ambulance. Very thankful for them, paramedics because they were like, you're gonna die if you don't get in that ambulance. And got blue lighted. I've never been. I've been in a car quite fast, but I've never been that far. If my partner said they were like, land speed record to get me to the hospital.

[A]

Yeah, they were. They really thought you were. You're in significant trouble.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And I remember being in, you know, the emergency ward, my local hospital, and just being pumped, like, doctors working all around me. It was a bit of a haze, if I'm honest. And just being hooked up to all these, having all these cannulas put in, but they couldn't get the cannulas in properly at first because I was dehydrated. Real, real scary time. And ended up being in ICU for three days. Not really know what's going on. You know, having members of family. I remember, like, sort of being semi conscious and seeing members of family around my bed.

[A]

Yeah. Wow.

[B]

Thinking like, why is everyone here? It's not that bad, is it?

[A]

How long. How long did it take to get through that?

[B]

It was three days. And after the third day, they let me come home third or fourth day. The only downside of it was I was meant to be taking my partner to Ed Sheeran on Friday, so she ended up going with her mum. So her mum got a free ticket to go and see Ed Sheeran. And I've still never seen him. So, yeah, that. That was the one that really, really shook me up. You know, I come home and I was really lethargic that weekend.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Still feeling A little bit under the weather, but I was, I was testing my glucose. I was being religious with it then, you know, for that, for that first week to come out of hospital, I was, I was testing everything. They were getting me in backing to see the endo in a different hospital. Really good hospital that I'm under now. And it sort of kick started my diabetes again, if that makes sense.

[A]

Yeah. It got you back on track. What's the next thing that happens to you after that dk?

[B]

So, you know, during this time, I've had some laser surgery on my eyes as well. So that. That's, that's been sort of going on for the couple of years beforehand. I doctor saying, you know, you need to buck your ideas up your. Your blood sugars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I started doing all that. Right. In 2020. I don't know if I don't believe you guys do it in the States. It's called a Daphne course.

[A]

No, Daphne's specific to England, I believe.

[B]

Yeah. And that opened my eyes up to a lot of things. And I. And I had been really looking after it then. And that was. That was in the January of 2020 when I'd done the Daphne course.

[A]

And you got a more modern look at what it meant to manage type 1 diabetes.

[B]

Yeah, it sort of re. Educated me again. So I went to the hospital for a week to, you know, carb count again.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They showed me all these apps that was available and then obviously I was looking after it. Great. And we went into lockdown and, you know, was really still quite looking after it quite well over lockdown. Still having my bad days. Like, I know a lot of diabetics do have the odd bad day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, and even now, I still don't say I'm the perfect. You know, I'm far from the perfect diabetic, but I try my hardest now.

[A]

Yeah. Not. You're not pretending to try or pretending you're just gonna make it through no matter what?

[B]

No, no. Absolutely not.

[A]

I have two questions. Give me a second. I have two questions.

[B]

Yeah, go on.

[A]

So my first one is when you say, it's not gonna stop me. I can do it. I'm tougher than this. But you're getting laser surgery and your feet hurt. Do you ever have, like an honest moment with yourself and you go, I am not actually beating this. Like, you know what I mean?

[B]

No, I still, at that point, I was still steadfast. I can turn this round was my thought process in 2020.

[A]

But, like, I'm talking to you, you're a bright guy, you're thoughtful, you're thinking about your life. I can tell all that. Right. Like so, so you're lying to yourself then.

[B]

Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

[A]

Because I can turn this around. But you're not actually doing anything to turn it around. That's, you know what I mean?

[B]

Problem. I was doing Scott. I was saying the right things to everyone else, but I wasn't actually putting these words into action.

[A]

No motion. Yeah, okay.

[B]

You know, it was just, yeah, I'm doing it, I'm doing it. And it was getting better. But you know, the eyes, the pain in the feet. Yet you're right. At that point I should have been right. This, this is, this needs to stop.

[A]

Yeah. You're on fire and you're telling me, don't worry, I'll put it out. But you're not, you're not turning the hose on. You're holding the hose going, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. And yeah, and then you just don't take the step. Do you have any, any reasonable idea about why not beyond the, like, I'm going to beat it or I'm a guy and I think I can win. Like, do you, like, I'll ask it a different way. We'll get back to that question. A different way. Would you ever describe yourself as not wanting to be alive, as not feeling like you're valuable? Like, did you have any bad self esteem problems? Like, any reason? No. You wanted to live?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No. And I had two massive reasons to live was my children. But I was so focused. My health came second after my work.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

I was very, you know, it wasn't even like a massive career that I was doing. It was just the money was good when you put the hours in. And I was so focused on earning money. Earning money. My health came second. That was always my thought process.

[A]

Do you think it's possible you're just, you're a victim of being diagnosed so early that the expectation for people with diabetes was so low and then the way management became different, different over the years, you never found out about. So is the Daphne course, like almost learning, like you have a different disease than the one you had before?

[B]

You know, when I, when I was diagnosed, it was very strict. He wasn't allowed to eat, like I said, chocolate sweets. He was not allowed. That was like, it's a big no, no. And if you had a lot of diabetic chocolate, it was like a laxative. So it wasn't great for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I steered cleared of it. But then when I had an appointment when I was about 18, it changed quite a lot. Diabetes management. And it was like, well, you can eat certain stuff as long as you. You do, you know, instant to cover them. Carbs. And I was like, oh, right.

[A]

So you ate the food but didn't cover the carbs.

[B]

No, I did at first, but after a while it was like, well, I'm doing okay.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

I'm doing okay.

[A]

Okay. And so it really is the way I describe on the podcast. Like, if you wake up the next day and you're not dead, then you just feel like, oh, what I'm doing must be okay.

[B]

100% right.

[A]

And then the medical stuff happens so slowly that you don't necessarily. Even though it sounds. I mean, you and I are talking. We know, we know it sounds ridiculous to say, but like, you don't associate it with the decisions.

[B]

Oh, no. Yeah. Never. Even the thought never went through my mind that I'd be in the position I am in now.

[A]

Yeah. You didn't connect that the pain was the diabetes management or the eyes was the diabetes management. It was just these things are happening.

[B]

To me because it's not visible as such, you know? Yeah. The pain was there in the feet and the legs. I just thought at some point, because my job, I was on my feet quite a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'd drive to a job, then I'll get out and I'll be on the feet for a couple of hours, back in the van, off to another job. I just thought it was the footwear I was wearing at first, you know, I never thought of the diabetes at one point then until I'd done. Daphne.

[A]

And the reason I'm asking you the questions this way, because you're kind enough to be here and share your story, but because I want people to hear two things. Like if they have type one, I want them to hear that this. This slow kind of drift away from health can happen without you really knowing it. And I want them to hear that it can happen without you being malicious.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're not consciously or even subconsciously saying to yourself, I don't want to be alive. I don't want to live. I don't want to take good care of myself. I don't want to be good health. You want all of those things and. Yeah, I don't know. I just think that's important for people to hear. I don't even know that I want to justify what I mean by that. I just think it's important for people to hear that you're a reasonable, thoughtful guy with kids and a life, and you have desires to be alive and have fun and life and love. And you're not just ignoring your health. Because I think that it would be easy for a person to come in from the outside, hear your story, and say, well, here's a guy that just didn't care and didn't try hard enough. And I don't think that you would characterize yourself as either of those things.

[B]

No, I don't think it was that. It was. My thought process was earn the money quickly to have a better life with the kids and stuff.

[A]

You know, I hear.

[B]

I was very driven by money, which I'm not no more.

[A]

So, okay, so we paint in the feet. What happens next?

[B]

So, you know, like I said from. I've done the Daphne course in 2020, went through lockdown, was looking after it reasonably well. I wouldn't say it was brilliant, but a lot better than I had done for the last 20 years, maybe.

[A]

Right?

[B]

At least. Yeah, 20 years. And it got to 2022. And I. I was. I was at work one day and my. My foot. My right foot felt, like, really wet. And I was like, this doesn't feel right, man. I was working with another guy. We went back to the van to have a lunch, and my foot just felt really wet. And I was like, this isn't right. And I pulled my sock off and basically half the bottom of my big toe was hanging off. It was in, like an ulcer blister on the bottom of my toe. And I was like, yeah, yeah. Panic time. Settled.

[A]

First time you ever noticed it. Yeah, okay.

[B]

And it was like, right, that's. He went and got in his van. I drove to the local hospital. They bandaged it up and it's. It's a small hospital, and so that they sent me home with some antibiotics. And this. This was on, like the Friday. So I had a couple of days. This is on a Thursday. Sorry, a couple of days at home. And it got to the Sunday and I was in so much pain. So much pain. And that foot. I. I took myself to my hospital, which is a. It's a massive hospital in Cambridge in the uk, and sat in the emergency department for a good eight or nine hours. And they had another look, sent me back home with stronger painkillers and antibiotics, and I had hospital the next morning in the eye clinic. So I had an eye checkup, went to my eye checkup appointment, and it just didn't feel right. And I just thought, I just thought I'd try my luck and poke my head into the diabetic clinic. And I spoke to one of the diabetic specialist nurses. She went, can we just have a look at it? They got me into. Because the podiatry was in the same area. It took me into podiatry and they were like, right, we need to admit you to hospital. You could see the infection spreading up my leg. It was like up to halfway up my shin by then. So I got it. That was February 2022, and I was in hospital for two weeks when IV antibiotics told not to put weight bear on that foot for a while. So signed off from working, which was the biggest at that time, the biggest killer for us, me was like, I can't work. Yeah, but still think, like thinking everything might be okay. Went back the following week and they said, you know, I had a procedure when I was done in hospital called an angioplasty, where they run a line from your groin all the way down your to your feet. And they put these little balloons in to open up the veins to get the blood flow going again. And they told me that it was unsuccessful. And eventually, if these antibiotics didn't work, I was gonna have to have a baloney amputation on my right leg.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And that was like, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I was devastated, you know, to hear something like that at the age of 40, odd wasn't great.

[A]

No. And by then, had your father in law lost his leg?

[B]

Yeah, he had been an amputee for two years by then. So it was sort of, you know, he was, he was on hand for advice and stuff like that.

[A]

But you had real context about what life looked like after the amputation too.

[B]

Yeah. So I was like, you know, this is gonna be a minor setback. I'll be back at work within a year. So that they, they said, right, we're gonna have to do an amputation. This was in the February. And I, I kept going back on these. They said, if it didn'. So obviously I'm still pinning my hopes on that this leg was going to stay. And it got to. It would have been April. And they said that nothing's working. You know, the foot's dying. We need to do a below knee amputation. Yeah. I was like, okay. Sort of got my head around it. And they phoned me up on the 5th of May and said, oh, we want to book you in for your amputation. And I was like, all right, when's that? And they said tomorrow morning at 9 o' clock and I was like, I didn't know what to say. I was like, I was like, can I phone you back? I need to speak to my partner. Yeah, I spoke to my girlfriend. She was like, what are you thinking about? It needs to be done. Just phone them back. Get it done.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So, yeah, on the 6th of May, I ended up having a right leg below knee amputation. And you know, it. It completely rocked my world.

[A]

This episode was too good to cut anything out of, but too long to make just one episode. So this is part one. Make sure you go find part two right now. It's going to be the next episode in your feed. A huge thanks to US Med for sponsoring this episode of the Juicebox podcast. Don't forget usmed.com juicebox this is where we get our diabetes supplies from. You can as well use the Link or call 888-721-1514. Use the link or call the number, get your free benefits check so that you can start getting your diabetes supplies the way we do from US Med. The podcast you just enjoyed was split sponsored by Tandem Diabetes Care. Learn more about Tandem's newest automated insulin delivery system, Tandem Moby with control IQ/[e-mail] Juicebox There are links in the show notes and [e-mail] I'd like to thank the Eversense365 for sponsoring this episode of the Juicebox Podcast and remind you that if you want the only sensor that gets inserted once a year and not every 14 days, you want the Eversense CGM. Eversensecgm.com JuiceBox 1 Year 1 CGM hey, thanks for listening all the way to the end. I really appreciate your loyalty and listenership. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of the Juice Box Podcast. Hey kids, listen up. You've made it to the end of the podcast. You must have enjoyed it. You know what else you might enjoy? The private Facebook group for the Juice Box Podcast. I know you're thinking, oh, Facebook, Scott, please. But no. Beautiful group, wonderful people, a fantastic community. Juice box podcast type 1 diabetes on Facebook of course, if you have type 2 or 3, are you touched by diabetes in any way? You're absolutely welcome. It's a private group, so you'll have to answer a couple of questions before you come in. We'll make sure you're not a bot or an evildoer, then you're on your way. You'll be part of the family. My Grand Rounds series was designed by listeners to tell doctors what they need, and it also helps you to understand what to ask for. There's a mental wellness series that addresses the emotional side of diabetes and practical ways to stay balanced. And when we talk about GLP medications, well, we'll break down what they are, how they may help you, and if they fit into your diabetes management plan. What do these three things have in common? They're all [e-mail] up in the menu. I know it can be hard to find these things in a podcast app, so we've collected them all for you at Juicebox Podcast. Com. Hey, what's up everybody? If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better and you're thinking like, how does that happen? What you're hearing is Rob at Wrong Way Recording doing his magic to these files. So if you want him to do his magic to you, wrongway recording.com you got a podcast, you want somebody to edit it. You want Rob.