#1693 After Dark: Mod Podge

Summary

Juicebox Podcast: Type 1 Diabetes

Episode #1693 After Dark: Mod Podge

Host: Scott Benner
Guest: Stacy
Date: November 28, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of Juicebox Podcast’s “After Dark” series features a candid, vulnerable conversation between Scott Benner and Stacy—a 39-year-old woman from Texas who has lived with type 1 diabetes since age nine. Stacy shares deeply personal stories around her family’s struggles with diabetes, addiction, mental health, and loss. She details her path from poor diabetes management and substance abuse to sobriety, self-discovery, and a newfound sense of peace, including how she’s built a unique life centered around independence, cats, and hard-earned resilience. The episode is raw, honest, and frequently darkly humorous, helping listeners see the complex intersections of chronic illness and lived experience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Stacy’s Family & Diabetes Background

• Early Diagnosis & Family Prevalence
  • Stacy diagnosed with type 1 at nine; her older sister (Sarah) was also diagnosed at nine, eight years earlier (02:01).
  • Diabetes, both type 1 and 2, is rampant in her family: father, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, and cousins affected (02:11).
• Family Losses & Impact
  • Sarah passed away at 30 from diabetes complications (never coming out of DKA) (02:51).
  • Stacy’s mother died at 46 from Moyamoya (a cerebral vascular disease) when Stacy was 16 (04:27-04:34).
  • Both losses left lasting fears in Stacy: “I always thought I was going to die when I was 30. So now that I'm 39, I'm happy... technology and things are just getting better.” (05:06)

2. Growing Up with Diabetes and Family Dysfunction

• Medical Misinformation’s Effects
  • Growing up in the 1990s, doctors often said, “Don’t worry, there’ll be a cure soon.”

  “I felt like I could do whatever I wanted because it'll be okay in a couple of years.” (05:57, Stacy)

  • Led to feeling “invincible” and less careful about self-care.
• Parental Support/Neglect
  • Parents were present but not proactive:

  “They'd be like, ‘How's your sugars?’ Oh, it's fine. Okay, good... They weren't on my ass about anything.” (07:46)

  • Relied on quantitative markers, not attentive to high A1Cs or management issues (07:37–08:17).
• Family Struggles with Addiction
  • Mother was an alcoholic, worsening around Stacy’s diagnosis (09:29).
  • Household experienced no abuse, but addiction influenced everyone—brother became a heroin addict during the Plano, TX epidemic (09:49–10:17).
  • Addiction, alcoholism, and substance use prevalent across extended family (11:04, 18:36, 39:10).

3. Personal Journey: Adolescence to Sobriety

• Substances and Mental Health
  • Started drinking and smoking at 16, weed by 17, mushrooms occasionally for “recreation and spiritual” purposes (11:26, 13:02).
  • Experienced repeated hospitalizations for DKA (at least 10 times), largely linked to poor management and drinking (08:33, 30:02).
  • Describes using substances to escape:

    “So I could feel like something else... feel normal.” (31:44, Stacy)

• Sobriety and Support
  • Entered AA at 21, with some relapses and time in rehab.
  • Has not drunk alcohol in almost 16 years, now uses weed to manage anxiety and depression (12:31, 17:28).
• Mental Health Diagnosis and Medication
  • Diagnosed with depression and anxiety, improved with the right medication:

    “The anxiety and depression are better now, since I found the right medicine combo.” (17:44)

  • Notes genetic family connection to mental health struggles and addictive personalities (18:03, 18:36, 39:28).

4. Building a Life: Work, Independence, Self-Acceptance

• Career Shift: Cat Sitting
  • Formerly worked in dad’s restaurant; after complications and pandemic, became a professional cat sitter (14:30–16:59, 20:13).
  • Developed sustainable independent income through neighborhood word-of-mouth and social media (25:09, 25:55).
  • Find joy and pride in her laid-back, flexible lifestyle:

    “Honestly, it is. Every day I'll be chilling with the cats and I'm like, I can't believe I do this for a living.” (21:24)

• Relationships, Autonomy, and Boundaries
  • Prefers not to marry or have children, values autonomy:

    “I want to be able to do whatever I want to do, whatever I want to do it.” (20:03)

  • Past relationships ended largely due to attempts at control or red flags (33:26–34:33).

5. Psychedelics and Philosophy

• Purposeful Use of Mushrooms
  • Sees psychedelic use as recreational at concerts or spiritual/self-care at home (13:02–13:21).
  • Credits mushrooms with providing a sense of profound comfort and changed worldview:

    “You get this feeling that everything's going to be okay. In the end, it's all gonna be okay.” (47:05)

• Belief in a Higher Power
  • Finds meaning in a belief in “something bigger,” influenced by AA:

    “There is a higher power, whether he's God, whether he's Buddha...There's a higher power out there that's in charge of everything.” (49:20)

6. Diabetes Management and Health Challenges

• Current Management
  • Uses Omnipod 5, struggles with its target range but actively self-adjusts (55:57).
  • Lives with gastroparesis since 22, fluctuates with stress, managed with medication and reduced life stress (56:30–57:43).
  • Recently switched to Dexcom G7, skeptical of online negativity:

    “The Internet is always going to tell you what's wrong with everything.” (59:00)

• Other Health Considerations
  • Monitors thyroid activity, prolactin levels (potential tumor ruled out by med change), family history includes multiple autoimmune diseases:

    “My dad has vitiligo. My aunt has graves.” (55:34)

7. Personal Reflections, Humor & Lessons Learned

• Perspective on Early Death & Living Fully
  • Formerly sure she'd die young, now finds each year a blessing:

    “I'm just happy I didn't die when I was 30. Every year a nice surprise.” (59:37)

• On Not Wanting Kids
  • Initially driven by fear of dying young and leaving a child, later by preference for autonomy (59:50–60:49).
• Favorite Quotes & Running Gags
  • On living with diabetes from a young age:

    “That night, I was told I could eat anything I wanted...because it would be the last time I could eat whatever I wanted without worries.” (22:31)

  • On childhood diabetes mishaps:**

    “For Christmas we got stockings full of sugar free candy...me and my sister...ate all of it and we were shitting our pants all night long.” (61:08)

• Running Podcast Humor: Scott’s Common Phrases
  • Stacy’s top three: “fascinating,” “in the end,” and Scott’s funny regional accent on “water” (64:19–65:11, 66:37–67:36).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (w/Timestamps)

• On “Invincibility” from Misinformation:

  “I felt like I could do whatever I wanted because it'll be okay in a couple years... I'm invincible.” (05:57 - Stacy)

• On escaping with substances:

  “So I could feel like something else... feel normal.” (31:44 - Stacy)

• On mushrooms and comfort:

  “You get this feeling that everything's going to be okay. In the end, it's all gonna be okay.” (47:05 - Stacy)

• On the darkest family moment:

  “...my mom tried to commit suicide and... I had to run over to her house, get her dad, all this stuff. That's the only violence that we ever had.” (19:22)

• On building a new life:

  “Every day I'll be chilling with the cats and I'm like, I can't believe I do this for a living.” (21:24 - Stacy)

• On empathy and lessons from the podcast:

  “...when I'm driving and someone's driving like a jackass. I always tell myself they might be in their pants.” (69:56 - Stacy, referencing a Scott classic)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:49] Stacy’s diabetes background and family history
• [02:51] Loss of her sister; impact of DKA
• [04:27] Loss of mother; further family impact
• [08:33] Recurrent DKA and parental response
• [11:26],[12:31] Substance use beginnings; sobriety attempts
• [17:28] Mental health diagnosis and management
• [20:13],[21:24] Cat sitting career; life transformation
• [39:28] Family inheritance of mental health and addiction
• [47:05] Mushrooms providing comfort and change in worldview
• [55:57] Current diabetes management strategies
• [61:08] Humorous anecdote: sugar-free candy and consequences
• [69:56] Podcast lesson: assume the best in others; humor about “in their pants”

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Closing Tone

The episode is both sobering and filled with dark humor, candid confessions, and cathartic storytelling. Stacy’s journey is marked by trauma yet punctuated by resilience, acceptance, and a measure of self-forgiveness. Both host and guest maintain an informal, approachable conversation, with Scott guiding gently and Stacy reflecting honestly, both vulnerable and dryly witty in turn.

As an “After Dark” installment, this episode stands out for its depth, realness, and the way it threads diabetes experience into the broader tapestry of life’s struggles and triumphs.

Transcript

[A]

Here we are, back together again, friends, for another episode of the Juice Box Podcast.

[B]

Well, I'm Stacy. I've been diabetic for almost 30 years and I'm from Texas.

[A]

This episode of the Juice Box podcast is sponsored by Skin Grip, durable skin safe adhesive that lasts. Your diabetes devices, they can fall off easily, sometimes, especially when you're bathing or very active. When those devices fall off, your life is disrupted and it costs you money. But Skin Grip patches, they keep your devices secure. Skingrip was founded by a family directly impacted by Type 1, and it's trusted by hundreds of thousands of individuals living with diabetes. Juicebox Podcast listeners are going to get 20% off of their first order by visiting skingrip.com juicebox nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. This episode of the Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom G7, the same CGM that my daughter wears. Check it out [e-mail] Juicebox the episode you're about to listen to is sponsored by Tandem mobi, the impressively small insulin pump. Tandem MOBI features Tandem's newest algorithm, Control IQ technology. It's designed for greater discretion, more freedom, and improved time and range. Learn more and get started [e-mail] Juicebox well, I'm Stacy.

[B]

I've been diabetic for almost 30 years and I'm from Texas.

[A]

Texas. 30 years, Texas. How old are you, Stacy?

[B]

I am 39.

[A]

Okay, so you were nine when you were diagnosed?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The simple math is the easiest math. Any other sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, other people with type 1 diabetes in your family?

[B]

Yep. My older sister was type one. She was diagnosed when she was nine as well. And then eight years later I was diagnosed and type two and prediabetes like runs rampant in my family. My dad, my Grandma and Grandpa, two aunts that were type 2. My uncle's type 2. I have three cousins that are type 2 or pre diabetic. Okay, so that's, that's just the diabetes in my family.

[A]

That's just the name. We'll find out about the rest.

[B]

On my dad's side, I don't know about my mom's side.

[A]

We'll get to whatever else is there that you know about, but I have to say, you said your sister was type one. So either somebody came up with a cure and gave it to your sister, your sister's not with us any longer.

[B]

Which is that she's not with us any longer. She passed away when she was 30.

[A]

She was 30 after having diabetes for 21 years. Ish.

[B]

Yes. Yep.

[A]

Was it from type one?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really? Okay.

[B]

Yeah. She wasn't in. Taking great care of herself, got sick and brought her to the hospital. She was in the AKA and just never bought out of DKA, basically.

[A]

Yeah. So if she was 30 at that point, that made you like 21. Do you know each other well? Yeah, I mean, like, friendly. You spoke frequently.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you had. Had diabetes for a while at that point.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So did you, the two of you ever speak about your type 1 or was that not a thing we talked about?

[B]

Oh, no, we wouldn't really talk about it. It was just like. It was just normal for our family to have, like. We used to sit down at the dinner table. Me and her would be taking our shots, doing our blood sugar, and it's just like, normal. So we never really, like, talked about it.

[A]

Just. It just existed.

[B]

I'm not sure. We didn't really talk about it, but it was just there.

[A]

No, I mean, it's a pretty big age difference too. So I was, you know, like, once you're adults. She's 18 or, you know.

[B]

Yeah. When I. When I was diabetic. When I. When I became diabetic, she was what, like, 17? 18.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we. We only lived together for a year or two before she moved out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

After that.

[A]

That's what I was getting at now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was there something. I mean, I hate to say this, but I'm looking at your notes here. Your mom passed as well. When. When was that?

[B]

That was when I was 16. So she was 46.

[A]

She was 46. What did she die from?

[B]

The official diagnosis was Moya. Moya. She was having, like, strokes and then she went to. She was having surgery for it and then basically had another stroke in surgery and couldn't recover from it.

[A]

Oh, my God. At first I thought you were like. My brain was like, wait, I think that's a seafood dish. Yeah, that would be wrong to say because we're seven minutes into a conversation so far. Everyone that you love is gone.

[B]

Yeah, the females in my family were not. We don't have good luck.

[A]

Does that scare you?

[B]

Yes and no. I always thought I was going to die when I was third, by the time I was 30. So now that I'm 39, I'm happy for as long that I've survived this long and technology and things are just getting better.

[A]

So what made you think 30 was it because your sister passed at 30 or did that number just get in your head?

[B]

No, since I was, like, since I was diagnosed.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

You know, they were back in the 90s. It wasn't a good. They said, you know, later in life, you're going to have complications. You're going to do this, that, oh, there's going to be a cure in five years. But you're like, I still knew the complications and everything.

[A]

You think it's possible, Stacy, that the biggest mistake the medical community has made is telling people, don't worry, there'll be a cure soon.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Tell people what that did to you.

[B]

I felt like I could do whatever I wanted because it'll be okay in a couple of years.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was almost, I'm invincible. Whatever happens to you, it's not going to happen to me.

[A]

So no different than when people talk about smoking or something like, I'm not going to get lung cancer. That happens to other people. I'm invincible. Nothing's going to happen to me. Besides, every doctor I've spoken to has told me that this is going to be over soon. They've almost got it all worked out. And so then that gives you the idea that you don't need to take care of yourself. Right. Because.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. What's the effort for if it's just going to be gone? Do you think your sister, she. I know she's gone, and we. And we don't want to speak for her, but do you think she shared that experience?

[B]

Definitely. And she at one point thought she could control her type 1 by diet and exercise.

[A]

Oh, how'd that happen?

[B]

You know, she just read about it and tried it and didn't work.

[A]

No kidding.

[B]

Yeah. That was shortly before she passed away, about a year or two before that. But she wasn't ever in the greatest control.

[A]

Do you have any idea why? What her situation, her story was?

[B]

Well, we didn't have the greatest support from our parents. We did, but they didn't help us figure out carb count or. Because when we started, we were on NPH and regular, so it's like we didn't really count carbs. We take four units at dinner every. Every day. Your blood sugar is this. Then add two un. And so we didn't know about carb counting back then. And then she just grew up with it like that. And then when I got diabetes, I went to diabetic camp, so I learned all the right things.

[A]

You heard from people other ways. She was not interested in hearing that from you?

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Tell me what it means that your parents were supportive but not supportive. What does that mean?

[B]

Well, like, if I ever had a problem, they were there, but I was hard headed. They'd be like, oh, how's your sugars? Oh, it's fine. Okay, good. They weren't like. And I would go to the doctor, my A1C is 12, 13. They're not making the connections like there's something wrong if your blush, if your A1C's is high. They weren't worried when I wasn't taking care of myself. They were, but they weren't on top of me.

[A]

Like, did they know you weren't though? Like I'm asking, like, did they see. They saw a 12, a 1C and they thought that's not good.

[B]

But that's not. Yeah, but they weren't on my ass about anything.

[A]

Right. And then they asked you how everything and you said, everything's good. And then that was that. They didn't talk to you about it.

[B]

Yeah. And then, you know, I end up in DKA and it starts all over.

[A]

How frequently do you think you've been in decay in your life?

[B]

In my Life? At least 10. At least 10 times or so.

[A]

10 times?

[B]

At least, yeah.

[A]

Do you believe going back to your parents, what do you think the reasoning is behind their lack of involvement? I mean, were you like harsh to them and it scared them off, or do you think they didn't understand?

[B]

They didn't know any better. Their parenting style was not laid back, but not on your ass about everything. But they just didn't know anybody. You know, the doctor said, you do this, this, this, and it'll be fine. Yeah, they went with that and you're going to be fine.

[A]

And even though you weren't fine at the testing phase, that didn't prompt anybody to do anything differently?

[B]

No.

[A]

No. So in your notes here, it talks about alcoholism and addiction. Is that for you or for other people in your family?

[B]

Myself and my family.

[A]

So you grew up with addicts or drinkers?

[B]

My mom was an alcoholic. It got really bad around my diagnosis actually in fourth grade. That's when, like, it started affecting our lives. She was an alcoholic, parents got divorced, she went to rehab multiple times. And then my brother became a heroin addict.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you remember the Plano heroin epidemic in Texas?

[A]

No, I don't.

[B]

Back in the 90s.

[A]

No, tell me about it.

[B]

There's a whole heroin epidemic going on back in the 90s in Plano. It was on MTV and stuff like that in the news. And he was Part of that, he would sit there and watch tv, be like, oh, that's my friend, that's my buddy, that's, you know. He was surprised that he didn't see himself on the tv. So he went to rehab for that. Had him move into my grandparents.

[A]

How old was he when that. When he had to move to your grandparents house?

[B]

He was a senior.

[A]

And were you how old?

[B]

Probably like 11, 12.

[A]

Oh, you were, you were younger than him as well. Are you the youngest?

[B]

I'm the baby.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So there's an older sister and older brother as that is, or more.

[B]

And another older sister.

[A]

Another older. Older than the one we talked about who passed?

[B]

No. So it's me and then Stephanie. She's six. She's four years older than me. Seth is six years older than me and Sarah is eight years older than me and Sarah's one that passed.

[A]

Got it. Okay, well are you using heroin at that time or.

[B]

Oh no.

[A]

Have you ever?

[B]

Never. I will never. I will never try it because I already know if I try it, I'm gonna like it and it's not gonna end good.

[A]

Do you feel like your family has an addictive personality?

[B]

Definitely. Both mom and dad side family.

[A]

Okay, so drinking daily.

[B]

Mom, yeah, me, eventually. Not daily, but it was getting close. Yeah. By the time I was 21, I was going to AA. Insane. I had a drinking problem.

[A]

Wow. Fast forward. When did you start drinking? How old were you?

[B]

I was 16. Yeah.

[A]

Who gave it to you? Do you remember?

[B]

First time I really remember drinking and getting like drunk was at a New Year's Eve party. Just some friends from school and I had a friend from diabetic camp with me. That's when I started smoking cigs. Even though the day before. And I always said I would never smoke. I'm never gonna smoke cigs. Cause you know my parents do that and that's just. It's not good for you. Get drunk, try it. And I'm a smoker now. 16 is when I started drinking and smoking. Yeah.

[A]

Did you pick weed up at some point?

[B]

Yeah, my. Probably like when I was like 17.

[A]

Next year you got bored. 12 months. 12 months of that. And now we're gonna upgrade a little bit.

[B]

Yeah, lunch break got kind of boring, so we had a at school.

[A]

So now it's drinking cigarettes, weed by this. By 17, you're still in high school. By 21 you're an AA saying I need help. How did that go? Like where are you with. With drinking?

[B]

I haven't drank in almost 16 years.

[A]

That's awesome. Good for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do we smoke weed?

[B]

Yes, on the daily.

[A]

You're a daily weed smoker?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Gotcha.

[B]

I'm all about the psychedelics.

[A]

Mushrooms, Shrooms.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What else?

[B]

Take an acid a couple times. That's. You got to be in the right place at the right time for acid, but definitely shrooms and ayahuasca and stuff like that. That's just. That's too much for me. I don't want to be throwing up.

[A]

You're not looking to poop and throw up? No. Gotcha.

[B]

No.

[A]

Would you call the mushrooms recreational or spiritual? How do you think about them?

[B]

Both. It depends on what your intention is.

[A]

When you take them, how frequently.

[B]

I haven't had any in like a year or so.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I just haven't felt the need for them or a certain situation or wanted them. But then other. Other times it's, you know, once, twice a month or.

[A]

What's the feeling that makes them necessary? Those are your words. So what. What happens to you, where you go? It's necessary now for me to do.

[B]

This when I'm not in a good place or when I'm trying to figure out something that's going on in my life or when I'm going to a freaking concert. Concerts on shrooms, I always suggest.

[A]

What does it do for you?

[B]

It makes you know that everything's going to be okay.

[A]

Okay. So now we're getting to it. So.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What wouldn't be okay at a concert that the mushrooms help you feel like is going to be okay?

[B]

Well, at the concert it makes it just the. Like the visuals. That's where the recreation part comes, is when I take them at concerts and stuff, even though I still have experiences at concerts on them. It's more for recreation. Then I'll take them at home for spiritual and, you know, take them by myself and I'm have a trip on my. By myself and learn things and. Yeah.

[A]

Are you anxious?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. Does the weed help with anxiety?

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

That what you're using it for? Mostly.

[B]

Mostly, yeah.

[A]

Does it stop you from living it like you have a job?

[B]

I am a professional cat sitter.

[A]

That's nice. Do you do that at other people's house or do they bring it to you?

[B]

I go to other people's houses. Yeah.

[A]

Are you recording from someone else's house right now?

[B]

No, I'm at my dad's.

[A]

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[B]

I was working for my dad. He owned his own restaurant. I was a GM there and he shut down the restaurant two years ago and I just haven't really gotten a job since. I did like Uber and stuff. I've tried a couple jobs but I have complications from diabetes. I'm not in the greatest health. With my mental health and physical health, it's hard to keep a job.

[A]

Gotcha. What's the mental health issue?

[B]

Pretty bad depression and Then, well, there's adhd, but anxiety, that's pretty much it. The anxiety is better now that the anxiety and depression are better now, since I found the right medicine combo.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They had me take a. Like a. Not a DNA test, but something like that, where they figure out what meds work best for you, given. Yeah.

[A]

You got a good balance.

[B]

Oh, yeah, it's perfect. I haven't had to change it in, like, 15 years.

[A]

Awesome. Well, that's very nice. When did you start feeling the anxiety? Do you think your mom had it?

[B]

Oh, yeah, she definitely had it. She had borderline personality disorder.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We would describe it as. She was like a chameleon. Whoever she was around, she tried to be like them. And I think that her anxiety of wanting to be liked and stuff like that.

[A]

Your sister, did she have any mental health stuff?

[B]

Not diagnosed.

[A]

Did she have issues that lean towards those ideas?

[B]

Not depression or anything, really. It was more. We thought she might have been on the road to be an alcoholic.

[A]

And you guys are Irish?

[B]

We are Dutch.

[A]

Dutch, like, pretty. Like, mom and dad are from Dutch. Background?

[B]

Not sure about my mom, but definitely dad. We're from the Netherlands.

[A]

Gotcha. Interesting. Your father still drinks?

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[B]

I mean, yeah, he does, but he doesn't have a problem. He doesn't have any problems. He's a good guy.

[A]

What was your dad's vice in the day?

[B]

Cigarettes.

[A]

Cigarettes?

[B]

Yeah, he's never really been on. I've never seen him really drunk.

[A]

Oh, okay. Your dad doesn't drink much.

[B]

No. Yeah, he'll have, like, a glass or two of wine when we have family over.

[A]

Yeah. Make fun of him. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Dad, cigarettes, wine. How about violence in the house? Anybody go to jail? Any abuse? Anything like that when you're growing up? No, just the addiction.

[B]

No abuse or anything. The only violence was. I think I was in sixth grade and my mom tried to commit suicide and, like, cut herself while she was in the garage with my friend's mom that were smoking cigarettes and stuff. And my friend's mom came into the house, you know, help, help. You know, And I had to run over to her house, get her dad, all this stuff. That's the only violence that we ever had in our.

[A]

That's a lot, though. How old were you? How old were you when that happened?

[B]

Sixth grade. So I was probably like.

[A]

That's young.

[B]

11, 12 or so.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, That's. That's super young. Okay. Have you ever been married?

[B]

No, no, don't plan on it.

[A]

I was gonna say, is that a thing? You're interested in?

[B]

Nope. I don't want kids. I don't want a relationship with anybody. I want to be able to do whatever I want to do, whatever I want to do it.

[A]

Okay, well, that'll be the only way to accomplish that. How much do you make the cat sit for a week?

[B]

So it's up and down. Like, last month was really slow. This month I've almost made, like, three grand.

[A]

If I said, you come to my house tomorrow and stay for a week, like, do you stay or do you just bop in and out and take care of the guy?

[B]

I don't stay. I do visits. So I can do multiple cats a day. So this morning I went and saw Toots, So that was $25. And then I have the three boy cats right now that I'm taking care of, that is. And I give them medicine and I come twice a day. So that's like $65 a day for that.

[A]

A day. Okay. That's not bad.

[B]

No. So. So for one visit it's $25. For two visits it's $40. And then, like, add on for meds or additional tasks that they want and stuff like that. And then they. Most of them tip on top of that.

[A]

And how long do you plan on being at each home when you get.

[B]

There pretty quick, it's usually about 30 minutes.

[A]

Wow. You make 60 bucks in 30 minutes. I'm in the wrong business. This sounds like. This sounds pretty awesome.

[B]

Honestly, it is. Every day I'll be chilling with the cats and I'm like, I can't believe I do this for a living.

[A]

Smoking weed, feeding the cats, hanging out. Made three grand.

[B]

I've gone on three cruises in the past year.

[A]

Really? To where?

[B]

The Caribbean, to, you know, Cozy Mill, Costa Maya and stuff like that. Honduras.

[A]

Nice. Are you going to come on my cruise next year?

[B]

I cannot afford it. Next year, that is. I thought I could afford it. Maybe if you were back on the, you know, Royal Caribbean man, or at the Seas.

[A]

Yeah, for Texas. It would be closer for you, too. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're gonna go out of Miami instead next year.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's my fault. I'm sorry.

[B]

It's okay. Next time.

[A]

Yeah, next time. Listen, I wanna understand about your diabetes. So I think we've got a pretty firm background about your family life and different struggles that you may had and other people in your life have had. So now we have a background. But now I wanna hear about the diabetes, like, growing up with it. You had an older sister with it. Was it difficult? Did you find it easy. Like, what was, like, school through high school, like, with it.

[B]

So when I got diagnosed, they took me in my sister's room and they tested my blood sugar and just said hi. I could see, like, the disappointment, and I knew what it meant. And that night, I was told I could eat anything I wanted that night because it would be the last time I could eat whatever I wanted without any worries. Next morning, I got up and we went to my sister's endo, which was actually like an adult endo, not even a pediatric endo. She gave me the syringe with insulin in it and said, here, give this to yourself in your stomach. And so from that day on, I was in charge of giving my shots, testing my blood sugar and everything. So that's how my parents didn't. Weren't really helpful is because from day one, the doctor was like, this is yours. You have an older sister. You know what you're doing.

[A]

Also, your mom was burdened with a number of things.

[B]

Oh, yeah?

[A]

Yeah. She wasn't probably looking for other stuff to do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was that regular in mph? I mean, it's the 90s. It could have been Lantus, and it was still then.

[B]

Yes. Started off with regular MPH with syringes, not even the tiny needles, but, like, the longer needles. And then went to Humalog and Lantis, probably high school or so, and then used pens for that.

[A]

But then there's a pretty big shift there in the need and how insulin works. Does anybody go over that with you?

[B]

Yes and no. I went to diabetic camp, so I knew, but not how I know now.

[A]

When did you gather the knowledge that you have now?

[B]

Started slowly, when my sister passed away. And then just build up on that. And then I found the podcast, and that got even more. More tips and everything. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So you're slowly gathering information and this is brought on by your sister's passing. Did it make you think, oh, my gosh, I'm gonna die too?

[B]

Yeah, it was like, oh, I'm gonna get myself together.

[A]

Yeah, I got more cats to watch and chill out and smoke weed. I can't die now. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

So at the time before cat sitting, all I've done is childcare and the restaurant business.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I had. Who would have thought I would become a cat sitter? I don't know.

[A]

Well, how did it happen the first time?

[B]

What do you mean, the first time?

[A]

Like, how's the first time you found yourself taking care of someone's cat? Was it just somebody said, like, hey, you're good with animals. I'm leaving for the weekend. I need help.

[B]

It was a friend. They were like, hey, we're leaving for a week or two. Can you watch our cats? Cool. Because they knew I was crazy cat lady. I already loved my own cats. And I was like, they paid me. And I was like, you can get paid for this. That's pretty cool.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[B]

And then I posted on Facebook, on one of the neighborhood Facebook groups, say, you know, if anybody needs a pet cat sitter, let me know. And this is like, right before COVID And I had one lady that was like, yeah, I would love for you to watch my three cats, blah, blah, blah. And she would book me every couple months. And then I had another friend that wanted me to start cat sitting for her as well. And so I was getting all these experiences. And so when I would post again on the Facebook page, I had references now and I had a business card. I had people commenting on the post saying, you know, Stacy's great. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Just grew so. Just slowly grew. Like last year is when it. When it went off.

[A]

Took off.

[B]

Yeah, took off.

[A]

People just know.

[B]

Yeah. It's just a couple posts that I've.

[A]

Done in the Facebook group, and then word of mouth. Stacy does a good job. All the silverwares here. When I get back, cats are alive, all that stuff. Yeah, yeah. She locks the door. That's awesome. Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You built yourself a little empire there.

[B]

I have.

[A]

That's very nice. Will you spread out? Like, is there a way to, like, get more and more of those? Hire a person, like, you know what I mean? Can you make it or are you happy with it? Just you and. And the vibe that it's got, right?

[B]

No, I'm good with just me. I don't want a business or anything like that. My dad was a restaurant owner, and I know the stress of owning your own business. Yes, I have my own business, but I'm not in charge of other people.

[A]

Yeah, I understand.

[B]

You know all that. Yeah.

[A]

There's a lot of THC in your system. Maybe you wouldn't actually be stressed. You might be okay. Yeah, you might be all right. Do you smoke your weed? Vape it. You know what I mean? Like, how do you take it in day to day? What's your preferred method?

[B]

When I'm home, I use my bong mostly. I have a vape, like a vaporizer that I use every once in a while. It just takes a lot of bud to use it, and you got to heat it up anyways. When I'm out and about, I use my vape pen.

[A]

Okay, you put the flower in the vape pen. Is that how that works?

[B]

No, I use the, like, the oils.

[A]

They're like preloaded, disposable.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Gotcha. I thought this weed was not legal in Texas. How you getting this?

[B]

I go see my brother in Kansas City.

[A]

Ah, a little road trip.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Gotcha. I hear the stuff in the gas stations in Texas is pretty much weed. Anyway, they went around and tested a bunch of it and found out it was.

[B]

Yes. So that's where I get my vapes from, is from the one I get. I go to the One Stop Shop. Yeah. And I don't know what. What's in them, honestly, but they work for me and I don't have to, you know, travel to Kansas City for that.

[A]

Yeah. How does all this impact your blood sugar? Have you noticed any, like, is there any correlation between vaping, smoking, et cetera, and how much insulin you use or you're eating anything. Can you see any connections between the two?

[B]

When I was not smoking bud, after I got sober from alcohol, my blood sugars were good, but I noticed when I started smoking again, the insulin need went down.

[A]

You think your anxiety goes down?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. And then maybe you don't need as much insulin because you don't have as much adrenaline or that kind of thing.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Interesting. What happens if you don't smoke for a day or two, or does that not happen?

[B]

That only happens if I'm sick.

[A]

Kansas City closes one or the other.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

By the way, is it Kansas City, Missouri, or Kansas City, Kansas, Missouri. Okay.

[B]

It's legal. Kansas City, Kansas is not legal.

[A]

Interesting. I didn't know that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to go back to you feeling like you're not going to live very long. So you have this feeling your entire life, then your sister. Well, then your mom passes, and that's tough, I would imagine. So then how do you, like, traverse the loss of your mother?

[B]

I honestly just thought it live how I want to live because I want to do this. Do it because who knows when you're going to die?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I already know I'm going to die early, so got that feeling. Enjoy what I do, what I want to do.

[A]

Yeah. She passes early. And then how many years is it until you lose your. Your sister? Not that many more, Right.

[B]

Five years or so.

[A]

Five years later, your sister's in the hospital and then gone pretty quickly, right? Yep.

[B]

She was actually in the hospital in a coma, and I was in the ER from Drinking too much and almost being in dka.

[A]

While your sister was passing away in the hospital, you were also in the hospital for something different.

[B]

Same hospital, in the er from drinking too much and almost wanted dka.

[A]

The drinking too much in that scenario was because. What? Because your sister was sick? You drank more?

[B]

No, I was already drinking.

[A]

You were just doing it anyway?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is it, a regular day of drinking, it just caught up with you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Were you not, man. I mean, dk, you were not managing your diabetes while you were drinking excessively?

[B]

No, I never really managed my diabetes. Great. From the day of diagnosis till my 20s.

[A]

What did that mean? How did you. I mean, how'd you stay alive that long? What was your system?

[B]

I always took my long acting. And just luck.

[A]

Luck.

[B]

I would, you know, take my shots here, there, test my blood sugar here or there, but really just luck. I remember when I was first diagnosed at school, I would go to the nurse's office, test my blood sugar and figure out how much insulin needed. I would draw it up, she would look at it, and then I would go in the bathroom and take it, but I would just shoot it down the sink.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I don't know. I honestly don't know.

[A]

Because you shot your Lantis every day, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So were you trying to hurt yourself?

[B]

No, I don't think so.

[A]

You don't think so? I mean, so you're in the room, you're holding the syringe. It's there. The calculations have been done for you. The only thing left to do is to put it in and push the thing, and you're like, screw this. Shot in the sink. Walk back out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Huh. Have you been to therapy?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What did they tell you?

[B]

They don't really tell you anything. They kind of make you figure out.

[A]

How you've got enough wrong. Somebody should have told you something. But, like, what is. Like, what is the. They want you to figure it out. Okay. So what did you figure out?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Like, why do you drink, do you think?

[B]

So I could feel like something else.

[A]

Okay. Feel differently?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is it you're feeling that you don't want to feel?

[B]

Like I want to feel normal.

[A]

Okay. And when you're not drinking, how do you feel? Like, not just the abnormal, but, like, what does that mean? Do you not do well with people? Are you. Tell me what it is that you're shutting up with the alcohol.

[B]

Just knowing. So when I don't drink, I'm fine with people, but when I drink, I am more friendly, I'm nicer, I'M a different person. You know, everyone would be like, you're so quiet, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Give me a couple shots and I'll be completely different.

[A]

It'd be plenty chatty.

[B]

Yeah, I just like the altered mind of it.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, you're doing a lot of different things that alter how you feel.

[B]

Yeah. My blood sugars weren't good at the time when I was drinking, so it's like God knows what was going on. Right.

[A]

While that's going on, do you ever think about, like, I could go into decay and die? Or is that not a consideration?

[B]

Not really a consideration.

[A]

Okay. Because you thought, this is never going to happen to me. I can avoid. I can ignore this if I want to.

[B]

Yes. And no. I was like, always thought, I'm going to die early anyways. I'm going to. I'm not going to make it past 30, so might as well.

[A]

You think you were depressed as a kid?

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so you're depressed already. Then you get diagnosed, then your mom dies and you just think like, you know, that the idea I had that I'll be dead by M30, that's going to come true so I can just enjoy myself and screw all this stuff. Like, I don't have to be like a real, like, functioning part of anything because I'm not going to be here very long to begin with.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Interesting. Have you ever dated or been married?

[B]

I've dated. Never married.

[A]

How do your relationships normally go?

[B]

They go fine. I've had a couple. Long term, couple years with a couple people. My last one, I broke up with him because he, I knew he would be controlling in the end because he would be like, you should wear your hair like this. You should wear this outfit. You should do. No, dude, I. I will do what I want to do. And you're going to be okay with it or not? Don't tell me what I should do like that.

[A]

You know, trying to mold you into something you weren't.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You think he was trying to mold you into something that would have been an improvement for you and you avoided it? Or what is it more of just like what he thought was right for the world?

[B]

What he thought?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like saying, if you would have done some of those things, do you think you would have been in a better position?

[B]

No.

[A]

No. Okay, so he was just being controlling.

[B]

Yeah. And there were more red flags. Like, the only person in his family who knew about me was his sister and we dated for almost two years. Yeah.

[A]

So that's not nice. Okay, so you got away from that. That's good. But you don't want to date anymore?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. What do you do for, like, intimacy out of hand? Okay. It's okay to you?

[B]

Yeah. I've hooked up with guys here and.

[A]

There, but stuff that you know is going to be, like, fleeting.

[B]

Yeah. I can take care of myself.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I understand.

[A]

Interesting. What makes you want to come on the podcast?

[B]

So what was it last month? You were like, hey, I have some free time. Who wants to get on a call? And I jumped on the call, and there were the two other people.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. I was just random. I was like, why not? You know? And then I started talking. You're like, you sound like you should have your own episode.

[A]

Yeah. Let me tell people about this now. My gosh, I can't believe this is what this was. Somebody, like, had one of those. I think it was, like, a time zone cancellation. Sometimes people get confused with the time zones. And I was sitting here, and I was all ready to work, and I was like, come on, Gig. I was revved up to do something, and I popped into Facebook and I was like, hey, can somebody jump on? Who'd want to record? But before I could, like, go take the link down, there were three people in the group, and I was like, all right, well, we'll get you guys all your own episodes. And, yeah, this was yours. Oh, okay. Yeah. Because you started talking in there, and I was like, oh, don't waste it on this. Hold on a second. Hold on. Let's. Let's make a time. Okay. This is making more sense to me now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Like, if I said to you, if I was your mom, I'd be worried about you, would you understand that? Okay. And then I want you to tell me why that's not a thing I should be worried about. Unless you think it is a thing I should be worried about. Do you have health insurance?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Where do you get that from?

[B]

Obamacare.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I've been on it since it's been out.

[A]

Nice. All right, awesome. So you have health insurance. That's good. You have a. You know, you found a way to make money. That's a thing you like. That's awesome, too. Right now you're smoking weed every day. That's not a thing I should be worried about. If I'm your mom, like, do you think you're okay?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And the things you're trying to get away from, is there a way that you could get away from without altering yourself, or is that not something you've considered.

[B]

There's not really much I'm trying to get away from. I don't. I've already gotten away from the stuff that I want to get away from.

[A]

Okay, can you tell me what that.

[B]

Stuff was like, the whole friends that want to drink party, that kind of stuff. I had a good friend that she had two kids, ended up selling fentanyl.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yes. So I was like, x that I.

[A]

Don'T want to hang around with. The fentanyl seller. Yeah, gotcha.

[B]

So stuff like that, you know, I keep my circle small. My. My life is small, and it's easier that way.

[A]

You like it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. When I said get away from things, although that was an awesome example of something to get away from, I meant like thoughts or feelings that you want to alter that you used to use alcohol for. Maybe now you use weed for. Is it sadness? Is it anxiety? Is it memories? Is it. You have to understand, Steve, let's start over. I don't drink. Like, so I don't understand, like, from a personal perspective, the desire to stop being me. Whatever is happening to me right now, whatever my thoughts are, my feelings are like. And I've, you know, gone through some stuff in my life, but I've never been to the point where I was like, if you could just give me an elixir that would get me out of this, I would do it. What is the thing you're getting out of?

[B]

It wasn't necessarily getting out of something. It was enhancing, making it better. But something's going like this. ADD alcohol makes it even better, but.

[A]

Now you don't drink anymore. So, like, the alcohol made the moment better, but it made your life worse. Is that fair?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay. And then at some point you realize, I'm gonna die like my sister. I have to pull myself together. Is that the whole thing?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, and so you stopped drinking about that time, is that right?

[B]

In 2010. So she passed away. It took a while for me to completely get there.

[A]

Yeah, I imagine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you used aa? Yep.

[B]

I actually went to the same AA group that my mom went to, and she was an alcoholic. And people remembered her and were like, oh, you know, saw me, I used to go there for Al Anon and a small world moment.

[A]

What's the difference between being the kid of an alcoholic and I mean, you haven't called yourself an alcoholic yet, but are you.

[B]

I'm an alcoholic addict.

[A]

Okay. Okay. So what's the difference between being the child, the non drinking child of an alcoholic and it actually being your Reality, like, is the impact on you. Can you remember back that far to like 13, 14 year old? You, like, how did it feel that your mom was just an alcoholic?

[B]

Yes, I was mad at her. I didn't understand. You know, I didn't. I thought she didn't want to get her together. She couldn't get her together. I was mad at her. I remember. But then after going to rehab for the first time and working with people, I realized, wow, I understand the disease part of it. Yeah. I understand what she was going through. I understand what. Why she made these choices.

[A]

And was she gone by then?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

How does that feel, not to be able to tell her that it sucks.

[B]

But there's nothing you can do about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not going to reminisce and, oh, I wish I could have done this. It is what it is.

[A]

No, I just mean, like, once you realize that you were mad at somebody for something that you now have a different perspective on, and it was relieving.

[B]

Because I didn't have that anger anymore.

[A]

Oh, you got to not be angry at her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's interesting. Were you able to lend yourself the same kind of grace that you gave to her?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. That's really nice. That's. It's awesome. And you think it's a family tradition, huh? The maybe genetic, the drinking?

[B]

Definitely.

[A]

Yeah. Everybody. Your brother drink?

[B]

Yes. Alcoholic, addict. He was Cali sober and now he's fully sober for a couple months now.

[A]

Does everybody know California sober means weed only? Okay. I just. I mean, you and I know, but.

[B]

Like, I wasn't sure on my dad's side. I have aunts that drink excessively. I have cousins that drink excessively to.

[A]

Scourge through your family. Really?

[B]

Yeah. Mental and addiction and bad health are both sides of my family.

[A]

Basically, that's on our family crest.

[B]

Yeah, that's us.

[A]

If you're looking for mental, physical health problems with a splash of doers, you want us.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a tough thing to bear, you know, because event. Because it's all around you. Right. So even if you didn't want to do it, it was going to happen eventually. And then you've got that genetic component of it about how that. How the alcohol grabs a hold of you. And so once you try it, you're in. You're in. Right. Because you, what you say 16, you started.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It have a hold of you pretty quickly.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Geez. How is it that you're capable of not going back to it now? Like, what is it you what is it you do, doing, done, that stops that from being a part of your life nowadays?

[B]

I just remember going to work on New year's day of 2011, or no, 2010, and being in the bathroom, sick on the bathroom, throwing up, being like, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I know what I'm supposed to do. And I went home, told my dad. He said, all right, let's go to aa. You need to go to aa. That worked for a little bit, and then I relapsed and went to the psych ward and then ended up in rehab a couple times. And it just took a couple times, you know, it took a little bit to stick and for me to figure out how to do it. I have a higher power that I believe in, and I just. I don't have the. Want to drink anymore because I have the weed.

[A]

But if you and I were somewhere together and I didn't know you, we were just sitting, talking, and I had a drink come over and I said to you, hey, you know, hey, I, you know, take mine, I'll get another one. Would you have the ability to put your hand out and say, no, I'm good, thanks.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I said, no, I don't. Nothing. I don't drink.

[A]

If I persisted, if I said, no, no, come on, don't. Don't make me drink alone. Would you say, a recovering alcohol, say.

[B]

No, you want me to go to the hospital? Like, me end up in the hospital. So I'm sick and tired of doing that.

[A]

Got you. Yeah, yeah. You don't understand where this ends. Has that ever happened to you? Or you've had to be, like, out in the open about it with somebody? Because, I mean, it must come up, right?

[B]

Not to the extent. I mean, just, you know, the first time you go out with friends, just kind of tell them, yeah, I don't drink. I'm an alcoholic. Like, I've never been ashamed of it.

[A]

Right. Everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic because if I. Whenever you tell somebody you don't drink, they just assume it's because you can't.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's an interesting thing. Anytime somebody says, oh, how about this? They go, no, I don't drink. They go, oh. Like, it's almost like, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize, you know, And I'm like, oh, Then you go, wait, no, it's like, you know, I just. I just don't drink. I couldn't even begin to tell you why. We had a birthday dinner for arden. She turned 21, and we went out to dinner, and it was just my family and a couple of Arden's friends. And the restaurant brought out champagne for everybody. And I was like, oh, what am I gonna do with this? I toasted with everyone, and I took a sip and I was like, okay. And then I put. I didn't even, like. I wasn't, like, compelled to finish it or, I don't know, to get a different drink. It's interesting. Like, even Arden that night, I don't think she'd mind anybody knowing this. She got, like, a drink at dinner, and then her and her friends went out afterwards. It's like a Tuesday night, you know what I mean? So not a lot of things to do, places to go. And they left the house at 10, and they were back at 11:45. And I was like, hey, you're back. And like, yeah, it was boring. It sucked. I was like, did you ever drink? She's like, I had one. And I was like, what'd you think? And she goes, it was fine. And that was kind of the end of it. I point that out because it's so crazy that some people have something going on in their body. I don't know what it is, if it's in their mind or if it's in their body wiring or what it is that alcohol hits them. And it's like, the beginning of the end. And some people take it and go, I don't want this. And that's fascinating. You know what I mean?

[B]

My sister Stephanie, she does not understand why someone would want to drink and get drunk.

[A]

Yeah, I'm with her. I don't get it either.

[B]

When she drinks, she gets. She gets reactions from it. She gets sick. She's like, I don't understand that. And so she's. She's never quite gotten the disease.

[A]

It's funny, because I think there's a difference between not understanding people's motives, like, physically not getting whatever it is someone else is getting out of that alcohol. I would tell you that. Like, I just don't. Whatever it is you get out of that doesn't happen for me. Like. And I wonder, like, is that just dumb luck or bad luck for you or whatever? Like, you know what I mean? Like, if you said to me, scott, like, honestly, if we sat down to have a drink and you drank a Coca Cola, like, a soda, regular soda, I wouldn't judge you. But if you made me stop and talk about it, I'd say, I don't understand why people drink soda with sugar in It. It's so much sugar. I don't get why. That's a decision that somebody makes that's different. That's me not understanding a decision you made. I'm telling you, like, whatever the zhuzh is that comes from that drinking, I can't even describe it to you because it's never happened.

[B]

You've never been drunk.

[A]

I mean, a couple of times, but I didn't find it particularly a thing. I mean, maybe twice, but it's not a thing that I did. And then I was like, oh, awesome. Like, I can't wait to do that again.

[B]

You don't like the feeling of it?

[A]

I don't like not being me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. But I think some people like not being them or not being in their situation or their circumstance. So if I said to you, finish this sentence, hi, I'm Stacy, and my life is going. What would you say?

[B]

My life is going Good.

[A]

Yeah, it is, right? Like, yeah, that's what I thought you were going to say. So you've got your diabetes under control, you've got your drinking in check, you've found a way, you feel, like, to manage your anxiety. Right. You know who you want around you as people you've worked through the issues you have with, you know, people passing. Right. Like, how'd you get all through all this to a point where you feel like you're good?

[B]

Honestly, I think it's the mushrooms.

[A]

No kidding.

[B]

Yeah. Tell me, because you just. You get this feeling that everything's going to be okay. In the end, it's all gonna be okay.

[A]

And that's it. That comfort is what lets you.

[B]

That comfort? Yeah.

[A]

And before that, you did not have that comfort.

[B]

No, I didn't know. You know, I didn't think everything was gonna be okay. I thought I was gonna die. I thought, you know, with my mom being alcoholic, I didn't. Stuff like that. Everything didn't look okay in my life.

[A]

Yeah. You looked around your surroundings and you thought, I'm trapped in a storm. There's no way I'm getting out of this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Is it one of those, like. Like, if you can't beat them, join them. Things like, you just, like, I guess I'll just dive in if this is my lot in life, basically.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And then it takes a lot of outcomes that are physically harmful to you to get you thinking in a certain direction, but you really don't make the whole leap till your sister passes away, and still then it takes a while afterwards.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Wow. But then one day, you just woke up and you're like, oh, I'm not doing this anymore.

[B]

I'm drinking. You.

[A]

Yeah. The whole thing, like, that way of.

[B]

Thinking, it wasn't just overnight.

[A]

No, no. I'm saying it took you a long time of, like, different things had to happen. You had different health issues. You dk, you said. I mean, countless times, but your sister passing pushes you the rest of the way. But then it still takes time after that to get through it all and to make decisions to change. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But I didn't just, like, I didn't wake up and it was all different. Yeah.

[A]

No, it's not a movie. He didn't wake up and be like, oh, well, yesterday was the funeral. Today I'm good. Like, yeah, no, it wasn't like that. There's probably more struggle before there was resolution.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You said you gave yourself over to a higher power. Was that, like, from the direction of aa, or is that a thing you thought to do on your own?

[B]

So, growing up, my family was not religious. We didn't go to church. My dad was forced to go to church as a kid, and he didn't want. He didn't like it, so he didn't go to church. I always had Christian beliefs. We didn't really talk about God at home. I did go to church for a little bit with a friend for a couple of years when I was, like, in high school, middle school. Just religion wasn't, like, a big thing within our family.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Learning about it and AA helped me realize, like, there is a higher power, whether he's God, whether he's Buddha, whether he's whoever. He shows himself to different people in different ways. There's a higher power out there that's in charge of everything.

[A]

What? You need to accept that, like, yeah, throw in with it like, yeah, he's.

[B]

Going to make everything okay. Whatever happens is meant to happen.

[A]

Yeah. That feeling of everything's not going to be okay is a ruling feeling in your life. Yeah. And then you have to find a way to believe that that's not the case. If you're gonna move on. Yeah, gotcha. What's the point if not, what's the point of life?

[B]

Like, if it's not gonna be okay, what's the point of, oh, like, why.

[A]

Am I trying so hard? If in the end, like. But when you think of it not being okay, like, when you think back to when you thought it wasn't gonna be okay, what did that mean? Early death? Yes. Yeah. That was the thing you were afraid of. It's a Rather existential idea, like, everything's not okay. I mean, what the hell is everything and what is not okay? Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's a. It's a pretty broad statement, but you're talking about just moreover of like a belief that you didn't need to live your life well because it was about to end at any second. Yeah.

[B]

So might as well do whatever I want to do.

[A]

Did a therapist call that depression? I mean, do you think of it as depression?

[B]

I do have depression, so, yeah, that's part of it.

[A]

Yeah. That's where that idea mainly comes from. Right. When you think about life now and you still know it's finite. Right. Like, there'll be a day like, you know, let's hope it's, you know, you're like, way old and all that stuff and, like, it just ends when you think about it going that way. What's the meaning of your life then? Is it because I think of life as, like, the things you do, right. Like, who you help and who you're involved with, who you love, like that stuff. Like, what do you think of life as an experience that is for you.

[B]

Yeah, experience for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You like animals a lot, though.

[B]

Cats. I'm not a dog person.

[A]

So specific to cats. When you're helping cats, like, be happy, is that a thing that you're doing for you because you enjoy cats, or is that a thing you're doing for them and you just happen to enjoy it?

[B]

Yeah, it's both. Yeah.

[A]

That's good. That's healthy.

[B]

Like being in childcare. I love. I loved being in childcare, helping the children. I loved being a manager at the restaurant because the teenagers, you got to help develop them and stuff like that.

[A]

I love that you like supporting things and people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. You are a people person, even though you keep a small circle.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm the person that. We're in a group of people. I'm not going to be talking, but if I'm at the store and we're both looking at the same thing, I'll be like, oh, yeah, what do you think about this? And I'll talk to strangers. It's the worst thing. But I have a different personality and.

[A]

People don't know who you are.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So when you have anonymity, you're more outgoing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Interesting. Back to mushrooms. Make you feel like everything's going to be okay. How long does that feeling last for?

[B]

I mean, I haven't done them in over a year and I'm still, you're still good still. Yeah.

[A]

Nice. So there's a world where you might never do them again.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Gotcha.

[B]

I only do them when I feel it's the right time.

[A]

Yeah. When it's needed.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not like, oh, let me go, let me go. Shroom right now.

[A]

Right. Is the weed a habit at this point or do you find it to be necessary? Both is a bit of a habit.

[B]

Yeah. Also, if I didn't have it, I want to be a very nice person.

[A]

Really? What would happen to your personality?

[B]

I get more irritated and angry. Yeah.

[A]

Have you ever had your blood work done to make sure your iron levels are good and you don't have, like, Hashimoto's or something like that?

[B]

So my. Had this written down. My TSH has been up and down for the last 15 years.

[A]

Go ahead. Up and down? How?

[B]

So in 2010, it was 0.65.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then six years later it was 1.2.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Went back down to like 0.73. And then in 24 it was 2.66.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And now it's 1.25.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you had thyroid symptoms?

[B]

Yeah, it's also rampant in my family.

[A]

Oh, well then what did the doctor say about that?

[B]

Not much. I need to find a new endo.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I haven't really talked to my primary care doctor about it. There's other things we've been talking about before that.

[A]

What else are you talking about?

[B]

My prolactin is high, and so I haven't had a period in two and a half years or more.

[A]

Is that awesome or not?

[B]

No. A year and a half? Yeah.

[A]

Is that a thing you're upset about?

[B]

No, not at all. That's why I'm not, like, sound pushing too hard. No. They're like, you might have a tumor in your brain. And I'm like, doesn't feel like it.

[A]

Feels like I'm not bleeding every month, but thank you. Well, listen, I was going to ask you, like, is there a reason why that's not a good thing? And, I mean, I don't see any reason why you can't tackle both things at the same time.

[B]

Well, so I didn't jump on it, like, getting an MRI this and that. I sat on it and thought about it, did research, and a lot of the meds that I'm on can increase your prolactin.

[A]

I see.

[B]

And I had started a new med that increases it as well.

[A]

Oh, okay. Well, then there's an answer.

[B]

So I got off that med and my Prolactin is slowly going down.

[A]

Oh, well, then we have an answer. There's no brain tumor. No brain tumor, it sounds like.

[B]

That's what I think. Yeah.

[A]

I think just get that blood work done again. And look at that TSH. If that TSH jumps up over 2.2.1 again, you got to say, look, I have thyroid symptoms, and my numbers are all over the place. Like, maybe I need some help here.

[B]

Definitely. Yeah.

[A]

Get them thinking about that, you know, Your mom had it, too.

[B]

Not sure about my mom, but my dad is hypo, and my his sister and brother, so my aunt and uncle both have hypothyroidism.

[A]

Gotcha. A lot of autoimmune in the Scandinavian. Like Dutch, right? Yep.

[B]

My dad has vitiligo. My aunt has graves.

[A]

Yeah, no kidding. Wow. That's a hodgepodge. Seriously, have you heard that word but not recently?

[B]

A little bit of everything.

[A]

Who would use that word? Such an old word. I want to finish with this. So tell me about how you manage your diabetes nowadays.

[B]

I'm on Omnipod 5, and I fight with it every day to get my blood sugar lower. The target says 110, but it feels like it's at 150.

[A]

So you bolus extra?

[B]

Yeah, but I'm so sensitive that 0.1 units is a lot. Will make me go low if. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, okay. So what do you mean? Are you bolusing extra?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Do you pre bolus your meals?

[B]

So with gastroparesis, that's hard.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

I didn't know you had gastroparesis. I'm sorry.

[B]

Yeah, I got that when I was 22.

[A]

Was that from, like, poor management leading up till then?

[B]

Definitely, yeah.

[A]

And it hasn't gotten any better. With your management being better, the medicine.

[B]

That I take definitely helps, but the management definitely helps as well.

[A]

Good.

[B]

I don't have it as bad. As bad as other people have it sometimes. You know, people being on, like, the gastric pumps and all that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I have my bad days, my good days. Like, this morning, I wasn't feeling good. I had unstuffed peppers last night with brown rice with quinoa in it. This morning did not feel good. I had to take two zofrans, didn't do anything, and finally had to take a promethazine, and now I feel almost fine.

[A]

You think that's from the peppers?

[B]

The peppers and the quinoa.

[A]

Okay, so it's tougher to bolus. Pre bolus for meals.

[B]

Yeah, because sometimes the same thing will hit Me fast. Sometimes it'll hit me slow. It depends on my blood sugar. It depends on how I feel. Like when I'm stressed, the gastroparesis acts up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

When I was working at the restaurant or going to a job being stressed out, my gastroparesis was always acting up more difficult. Yeah. But now that really hard to stress about cats. So now I'm not like, as stressed and I don't have as many problems with the gastroparesis.

[A]

Yeah, you don't know. You don't know any stressful cats. Those cats are chill as, right?

[B]

Well, medication administration can be stressful, but.

[A]

Other than that, they don't love that. Where does that medication go?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

It goes in their mouth or their butt. Where do you have to put it?

[B]

So, yeah, there's the pill poppers. I have to do the mouth. I had to do subcutaneous fluids for one of my cats.

[A]

Really? Any of them have diabetes?

[B]

One of them had diabetes.

[A]

Did you have to do shots? No.

[B]

Two of them had diabetes. Yeah. I was like, I got that. I know what to do.

[A]

So you fed the cats and gave them insulin?

[B]

Yeah, I gave them their shots.

[A]

That's nice. See, you're doing a nice thing out there in the world. That's lovely. Very cool. So you are G6, G7. What do you use?

[B]

Just switched over to G7. Can't tell if I love it or not.

[A]

Okay. Still new?

[B]

Yeah, still new. Not having really too many problems that I thought I would based off what you see on the Internet.

[A]

Now, the Internet is always going to tell you what's wrong with everything, so.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, go ahead. So it's been better than the Internet told you it was going to be?

[B]

Yeah. And I just. I don't know how accurate it is sometimes.

[A]

Do you check? You have a meter somewhere?

[B]

Yeah, no, I have one. I just don't compare it that much.

[A]

You should try if you're not sure. What, are you busy?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't do it?

[B]

No. It's part of the adhd. You think about it and then forget about it.

[A]

Think about it. Forget. How old are you again?

[B]

39.

[A]

Wow. You're 40 years old. Wow. It's a big number. Like, are you. Are you stressing about being 40 or. No. Are you just happy you didn't die when you were 30?

[B]

I'm just happy I didn't die when I was 30. Yeah. Every.

[A]

Every year a nice surprise.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you don't have that feeling anymore? Like you haven't, like, reset the age To a different age. You don't think about that anymore.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

I used to say I didn't want kids because I thought I was gonna die early.

[A]

And I didn't want leave somebody to.

[B]

Leave someone like that. Like, my mom died early, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I was like, I don't want kids because of that. And now it's like, no, I don't want kids because I don't want that responsibility.

[A]

A lot to pay for.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's a lady on recently, older, not, but not too old. But she. I was like trying to do the math on like how old were you when you started having kids? You know, like pretty young and. But she was clearly building like a, like a life on purpose. And it turned out what she said was, is like she was diagnosed a long time ago and they told her like, you know, she wasn't going to live very long. So she like got married right away and started like churning out kids because she's like, that's what I want. I wanted to have a family. And it's interesting, like faced with a very similar message, you went the opposite way. Like, she's like, oh, if I'm going to die soon, then let's get going and make some babies. And you were like, well, if I'm going to die soon, then I'm not going to bring kids into this.

[B]

Yeah. I don't want the kid to be here without a parent.

[A]

Yeah. Just interesting how different minds conceive those kind of similar things different ways. Yeah, it's awesome. Do you have anything else? Anything you want to ask me? Is there anything I didn't ask you? I want to make sure we covered everything.

[B]

I wrote down some notes. Funny story. I got diagnosed on winter break in fourth grade and for Christmas we got stockings full of sugar free candy. Last night of Christmas break, me and my sister Stephanie decided to eat all of it and we were shitting our pants all night long. That's what we learned. Yeah, you gotta sugar free candy's not the best.

[A]

Yeah. There's a sweetener. What's it called? Oh, gosh, there's something in sugar free. Some sugar free candies. That's a lax xylitol, right? Xylitol or something like that? Yeah. You want me to tell you a story?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't like to eat on planes too much, so I'll grab a couple of things if I'm going to be on a long flight. I was on this long flight one time and I got These sugar free Lifesavers, do they even make lifesavers anymore?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I had a whole roll of them. And I don't know what happened, but in the last hour of the flight, I just started popping them. I don't know, like, they were. I was eating the way they weren't meant to be eaten. I had, like the whole roll of Lifesavers and I was getting off the plane and I was like, oh.

[B]

Get a little bubbly.

[A]

I don't feel well. And I made it. That's so funny. This is me and Cole and my brother, and we were headed towards. We were taking Cole to play baseball somewhere, and we got on the ground, got a. I mean, back then it was a taxi. Like, you didn't even get, like. You know what I mean? You couldn't even. There was no Uber or anything. Oh, yeah, we pull up at the. Or maybe we ran to the car. We rented a car and we pulled up at the hotel, but we were there earlier and like, sorry, you can't check in. I was like, that's okay. Is there a bathroom in the lobby? She's like, right over there. And I was like, awesome. I looked at my brother and my. And Cole, I was like, I'll just be back in just. And oh, my God, it was horrifying. And so you ate, like, a lot more than that.

[B]

A lot. And the chocolates are, like, even worse. Yeah.

[A]

You and your sister were just in different bath. Did you have two bathrooms, I hope?

[B]

Yeah, so I was downstairs with my parents and she was upstairs in the other one.

[A]

Yeah, you'd eat that stuff sparingly. That's. That's funny. That's good. What else is on your list there?

[B]

So do you want to know your top three saints? Who do you think you say the most?

[A]

You listen to the podcast a lot.

[B]

Yeah, I'm on episode 1249.

[A]

I believe you start at the beginning.

[B]

From the beginning? Almost a year ago. Yeah, just a little over a year ago.

[A]

In a year, you've gotten through 1200 episodes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, let me say to everybody, quit your job, start babysitting cats, and get listening, because that's awesome. Very nice. Yeah, there's things I say that I say more frequently. Okay, My top three. Do you want me to, like. You want to play this, like a game? How do you want to do this?

[B]

Yeah, I want you to guess.

[A]

How am I going to know you say them. Can I be honest with you?

[B]

No.

[A]

Can I tell you something?

[B]

No.

[A]

I don't know if I said this on the podcast before. That's not on there either.

[B]

No.

[A]

You got to give me a hint.

[B]

Fascinating.

[A]

I say fascinating. I do say fascinating. Do you know why it's fascinating? I am genuinely fascinated by things.

[B]

Yeah. You used to say delightful a lot. You slowed down on that.

[A]

I do not say delightful as much anymore. Yeah, yeah. It's a good word. The word.

[B]

One that I always notice is in the end.

[A]

In the end.

[B]

Because I always sing the song in the end.

[A]

Oh, you hear it because it makes this song go off in your head.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, I'll tell a story, and then to wrap it up, I'll say, well, in the end, I learned this.

[B]

Or even in the end of the. Whatever. Yeah.

[A]

You know, Rob right now is listening, and he's thinking, like, do I have to chop some of those out? Like, what's going on? Is he saying this too much? Leave them in, Rob. Stacy's counting. I like them. Yeah, Stacy's counting. Oh, you like them? They're. They're comfort. They're comfort points for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's the.

[B]

Like. And then. And then you say water, like my mom used to say.

[A]

Look, we can try this if you want.

[B]

You say it W, A, R, T.

[A]

E, R. You think I'm saying water.

[B]

That's what it sounds like. Water. Like, you, water. It's not. Yeah. You put an R in it.

[A]

It's not W, a R, D E, R, water. Because around here, they say it's. They say, like, water. Like W, o, O wooder. But I mean, how do I. I'm so.

[B]

I hear an R in it. Yeah.

[A]

I'm so bumfuzzled by this, I don't even actually know how I say it. We actually just at that dinner I was telling you about for Arden's birthday, like, somebody said myth, and then everyone looked at me and was like, scott can't say myths. Then they had me saying it so much, I didn't know what was happening anymore. I'm like, myth, myth, myth. And the girl sitting across from me, she's like, no, myth. Like, I don't know what she. How she was saying it, but she's.

[B]

I don't know how. You're saying it wrong.

[A]

I don't either. But then I can't say it with. I can't say it with an. Ethnic myths. Myths. I don't. I can't. I don't know how to do it. So. But water. I think if you told me there was a correct. A correct pronunciation of it, and tell you right now what that correct Pronunciation is. Or you're gonna, like, you know, push me off a cliff. I couldn't be confident that I know the correct way to say that word. So is it water?

[B]

Water.

[A]

Water.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Water definitely sounds wrong.

[B]

You do the w, a wa wa and then t e r ter, not water.

[A]

Water.

[B]

Water.

[A]

That sounds. That sounds very wrong to me.

[B]

But you don't say it that slowly.

[A]

Water.

[B]

When you say it. Water.

[A]

Water.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. Is that right? Yeah, that sounds so wrong.

[B]

But it's normal up north. My mom was from up north, so that's how she grew up. Stay in water. Go wash her hands. Mom, I don't know how to wash my hands. You want me to wash my hands?

[A]

Wash. You'd say wash. Yeah, she put.

[B]

That R in there.

[A]

I think of that as more of a Southern thing. Huh. Yeah. I don't know. I grew up very poorly. Nobody was leaning on. On education very much. I mean, I'm from the northeast, so. And I grew up outside of Philly, which is. It's tough, you know, like, they do speak really strange.

[B]

Normal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A storm up there. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think I do it like. I mean, I think if you went into Philadelphia and found a guy my age, he'd have a much harsher accent than I have.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But I'm touched by it a little bit. And now I live between there and New Jersey and New York, and, like, I'm kind of right there. Get a little bit of everybody's accent to some degree or another.

[B]

A modge podge.

[A]

Yeah, Hodgepodge. Oh, I think mod podge is actually the stuff you put on art, isn't it? Where you put on a. On puzzles to hold them together.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. We should call this episode Mod podge Podge.

[B]

It was supposed to say. It was supposed to be oh, God. Because when we were talking, you're like. You asked me something. I said, oh, God. You're like, is that the name of your. Of your episode? I was like, oh, God, no.

[A]

Oh, God, no. Well, it's going to be. I mean, I think it's got to be After Dark.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Couple of different reasons. Top of my head. Drugs, alcohol. Talked about masturbation. I think we're definitely going to call it, like, After Dark. But After Dark, what Mod podge or.

[B]

Hodgepodge would work out because it's a little bit of everything.

[A]

Yeah. Really is. Maybe I'll go hodgepodge.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

People are going to be like, oh, my God, he's running out of titles. But, I mean, Listen, otherwise this is like After Dark, dead mom and sister. And I don't think that's an uplifting thing that's going to drag people into the. Into the. The arena.

[B]

No.

[A]

What's one thing. This is my last question for you. What's one thing that you could imagine happening in your life that would be crazy for you based. Based on how you're set up right now? Like, I don't want to have kids. I don't want to be married. I don't. Like, what's one thing that you think could happen? Like, the thing that creeps into your head once in a while.

[B]

What do you mean? That could have something good or something bad?

[A]

No, good. Like, do you think like, you. Maybe you'll end up married or maybe you'll end up having a baby on purpose or like something like that?

[B]

I just want to win the lottery.

[A]

You think that's what's going to happen?

[B]

That's what I want.

[A]

I'm saying of the things that you're sure at the moment aren't going to happen, if. If I had to say one of them might happen, what do you think it might be? Or neither. It's fine. But like, nothing. You couldn't wake up one day, be married and think like, oh, oh, okay, I get it. This happened.

[B]

No.

[A]

No. Okay. Do you feel lonely?

[B]

No.

[A]

Good. Good.

[B]

Yeah. I don't like people a lot.

[A]

No kidding. Just me.

[B]

You're one of the few.

[A]

I'm one of the few people you like.

[B]

And you know what? The greatest thing I've learned from this podcast, actually, that I use daily in my life. Tell me when I'm driving and someone's driving like a jackass. I always tell myself they might be in their pants. Yes. I had to tell myself every time.

[A]

I'm glad that you got that out of the podcast. I think that's a big takeaway. I think that's a big takeaway for life, actually, is just assuming the best of people.

[B]

And I'll be like, man, I just want to drive up to them, be like, I hope you don't your pants. I was like, no. They just. Then they got to make it to the restroom. Just let them go.

[A]

I would yell, this is water to them. But then they'd be like, water. And I'd be like, water. And they'd be water. And I'd be like, nevermind, it's a book. And then I'd be like, it's not really a book. It's more. It's a. It's a It's a commencement speech bound. Oh. And then by then, they have driven away, so. Well, I'm glad that that's a takeaway for you. I think that's a really important takeaway in life, is that maybe the guy passing you 100 miles an hour really just has to take a shit.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Maybe he's not an who's just driving poorly. The big thing, it does a lot for you when you assume better of people like that.

[B]

It is. If you're assuming they're going to be bad, you're bringing that negative energy to you.

[A]

100% true. Look at you. I feel like I've done something. All right, I'm going to go on vacation.

[B]

Also, have fun.

[A]

Also, Rob, for fun, when she says, if there's one thing I learned from this, just cut it off right there. Start playing the ads and then play this at the end. No, don't. People won't find it, will they? That'd be hilarious, though, wouldn't it, Stacey?

[B]

That would at the very end, because.

[A]

You made, like, this very natural pause. And I was like, oh, I think we should cut this right here. The music should come up and it should be like, thanks to Omnipod for sponsoring this episode of the Juice Box.

[B]

And you can even play it into early in the podcast when you're talking about it. She's learned this one thing, the major thing that she's learned. She'll let you know at the end.

[A]

All right, listen, Rob, if you have the energy for that, go ahead and do that. That'd be awesome. All right, hold on one second. Stacey, thank you for doing this with me. I really appreciate it.

[B]

You're welcome.

[A]

Dexcom sponsored this episode of the Juice Box podcast. Learn more about the Dexcom G7 at my link. Dexcom Juicebox. Head now to tandemdiabetes.com juicebox and check out today's sponsor, Tandem Diabetes Care. I think you're going to find exactly what you're looking for at that link, including a way to sign up and get started with the Tandem Moby system. Did you know that Skingrip has donated over $100,000 in scholarships to help people with diabetes? The people at Skin Grip, they know what it's like to live with type 1 diabetes. They know what it's like when your devices fall off at the absolute worst time, and they're here to help skingrip.com/juicebox save 20% off your first order when you use my link. That's what you get for being a juice Box podcast listener. I can't thank you enough for listening. Please make sure you're subscribed or following in your audio app. I'll be back tomorrow with another episode of the Juice Box Podcast. If you're living with type 1 diabetes, the after Dark Collection from the Juice Box Podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about. From drugs to depression, self harm, trauma, addiction and so much more. Go to juiceboxpodcast.com up in the menu and click on After Dark. There you'll see a full list of all of the After Dark episodes. If this is your first time listening to the Juice Box Podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Really any audio app at all, look for the Juice Box Podcast and follow or subscribe. We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. Want to learn more about your diabetes management? Go to juiceboxpodcast.com up in the menu and look for Bold Beginnings, the Diabetes Pro Tip Series and much more. This podcast is full of collections and series of information that will help you to live better with insulin. If you're looking for community around type 1 diabetes, check out the Juice Box Podcast. Private Facebook Group juice box podcast type 1 diabetes but everybody is welcome. Type 1 type 2 gestational loved ones it doesn't matter to me. If you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort or community, check out Juice Box podcast type 1 diabetes on Facebook. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording wrongwayrecording.com.