Juicebox Podcast: Type 1 Diabetes

Episode #1711 – Out of Shell, Part 2

Host: Scott Benner
Guest: Janelle
Date: December 17, 2025

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and humor-filled episode, Scott Benner welcomes back Janelle to continue their honest conversation about the emotional, mental, and daily realities of parenting a child with Type 1 diabetes (T1D). The episode centers on Janelle’s journey to reclaim her identity, addressing “mom guilt,” the anxieties of diabetes management, balancing family needs, and mental health—while embracing imperfection, self-forgiveness, and strategies to avoid letting diabetes overshadow life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Living in “The Box” of Diabetes Parenting

• Janelle’s Struggle with Identity
  • Since her child’s diagnosis, Janelle feels boxed into the role of a “pancreas mom”, experiencing a loss of personal identity beyond caring for her child’s diabetes.
  • (02:40): "I've kind of just like put myself in this like tiny little box…I'm sick of living in the box." – Janelle
• Host’s Empathy and Personal Reflection
  • Scott discusses his and his wife's efforts not to let one child feel ignored but admits both their kids felt overlooked, illustrating the impossibility of perfect balance.
  • (03:43): "I genuinely believe that my wife and I did a great job of not letting either of our children feel ignored. Yeah, they both felt ignored." – Scott

2. Sibling Dynamics and Family Balancing Acts

• Conscious Effort for Both Kids
  • Janelle and her husband structure one-on-one time with their daughter to offset the demands of T1D care for their son.
  • (03:18): “I try to make a conscious effort when I can of, you know, pulling her aside…But then that's also where my husband has stepped in.” – Janelle
• The Unspoken Truth of Parenthood
  • Scott highlights that perceived parental effort often doesn’t match a child's experience, and that this is a universal struggle.

3. Emotional Toll, Anxiety, and Guilt

• Burnout and Overwhelm
  • Janelle describes how diabetes management consumes her energy, often leaving mundane tasks undone and building anxiety.
  • (05:10): "I genuinely just spend so much time pouring myself into type one that it's like I let everything else fall to the wayside." – Janelle
• Worry as a “Waste of Imagination”
  • Scott reminds Janelle of his mantra, challenging her to question excessive worry.
  • (05:56): "Have you ever heard me say that worry is a waste of imagination?" – Scott

4. Managing Anxiety, Therapy, and Self-Awareness

• Admitting to Worry and Seeking Support
  • Janelle acknowledges her anxiety and coping attempts, which include therapy (and, humorously, marijuana, with little success).
  • (12:06): "I think a decent amount was self realization, but the therapy definitely helped." – Janelle
• The Vicious Cycle of Parental Overthinking
  • Both agree on the negative impact of over-managing: it can create distance between parent/child and set up future challenges—paralleling their own experiences.
  • (11:39): "If you have a bad relationship because of how you’re over-focusing on the diabetes, that probably leads him more towards not taking care of himself..." – Scott

5. Shifting Perspective: The Macro View

• Letting Go of Perfection
  • Scott encourages seeing diabetes parenting as guiding a ship (“steering the Titanic”) rather than micro-managing every detail, to foster a healthy, autonomous future adult.
  • (13:22): "You gotta stop putting it on yourself and start thinking bigger picture…"

6. Role Modeling and “Faking It Until You Make It”

• The Impact of Parental Attitude
  • Janelle worries her own anxieties might become her son’s outlook toward diabetes. Scott suggests, if needed, to “pretend” calm so her son internalizes resilience, not fear.
  • (17:45): "Pretend that you're calm. Okay. Yeah. And then he'll be calm. And then, hopefully, you'll actually be calm, because the goal here is that you'll see that he's not going to die, that nothing terrible is happening, and you'll chill the fuck out." – Scott

7. Humor & Real-Life Examples—Coping, Connection, and Self-Care

• Mixing Real Talk with Levity
  • The conversation is peppered with jokes and relatable situations (parenting, marriage, sex, pizza debates, generational differences, pop culture), making space for laughter while discussing tough realities.
  • (22:04–29:34): Scott prescribes a date, sex, and fun as essential self-care, to be “cool like Fonzie” and avoid letting diabetes dominate every aspect of life.
• Quote:
  (22:19): "You this a lot better than you think you do." – Scott

8. Moving Forward Despite Doubt

• Lack of Confidence in Change—and Hope for Growth
  • Both acknowledge the difficulty of altering ingrained behaviors, humorously predicting future conversations, but land on the hope that experience and time will foster healthier dynamics.
  • (19:30): “I have no confidence you're going to do any of these things.” – Scott
    (19:36): “Oh, I don’t blame you, because I don’t have the confidence either.” – Janelle

9. The Essence of Good Parenting

• Simple, Consistent Presence
  • Janelle is reminded that it’s not about mastering every diabetes detail, but about being loving and steady—the “basic things” are what matter in shaping children.
  • (24:12): "That should tell you that those are really the only things your kids need from you. Really. The rest of this is sort of bull." – Scott

10. Self-Reflection & Authentic Living

• Who am I without Anxiety?
  • Janelle shares she feels more herself—like the person she’d like to be—when she’s temporarily not consumed by worry.
  • (42:28): "I think I’m just sitting here not worried about Paxton's blood sugars right now, and it's mostly as simple as that." – Janelle
• Scott’s Wish for Listeners
  • He closes with a sincere wish for all parents to experience freedom from chronic anxiety, validating that their worries are real but shouldn’t rule their lives.
  • (44:25): "I wish you could feel what it feels like not to have that hanging over your head."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Parental Guilt:
  "[Parenting] really is true—no matter what you do, someone is gonna say, well, what about this?" – Scott (04:22)
• Spotlighting “Mom Guilt”:
  "This mother's guilt thing...it's horrible. I don't know...But that's back when nature didn't expect you to live past 30." – Scott (13:11)
• Modeling the Right Relationship:
  "Seeing him have a better relationship with his diabetes than I do, because if he looked at diabetes the way I do, that would break my heart." – Janelle (16:07)
• On Overthinking:
  "Don't overthink the overthinking." – Scott (20:42)
• Humor on Parenting & Sex:
  "What do we do? We go sex, a movie, that's nice...Then you go to have some lunch, and then you go get the kid." – Scott (29:42)
  "Hey, if your husband gets laid out of this, I expect a thank you note." – Scott (31:00)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:00–03:02 – Janelle’s discomfort, identity after diagnosis
• 03:02–04:22 – Sibling attention, unavoidable parental guilt
• 05:10–06:25 – Overwhelm, exhaustion, the mental load
• 07:03–11:13 – Impact of anxiety, managing burnout
• 12:06–13:22 – Therapy, self-realization, bigger picture
• 16:07–17:59 – Modeling for children, importance of attitude
• 20:42–22:17 – Overthinking, a prescription for rest and self-care
• 24:12–25:28 – The true essence of what kids need
• 27:00–29:34 – Breaking the cycle with humor, pop culture, and perspective
• 42:28–44:49 – Janelle’s self-realization, who she wants to be
• 44:25–End – Host’s candid reflections and closing wishes

Episode Summary & Insights

Janelle’s story is a relatable, sometimes painful, often funny look at the psychological toll of managing a child’s chronic illness—how it threatens to consume identity and relationships if left unchecked. The conversation with Scott is a blend of empathy, lived experience, irreverent advice, and real hope. The message is: you’re not alone, mistakes are inevitable, your love matters more than perfection—and that cultivating calm (even if you have to “fake it”) is the best legacy, for your kids and yourself.

Takeaways:

• Step back, trust yourself—you’re doing better than you think
• Prioritize your own well-being as essential, not selfish
• The identity and emotional health of every family member, including the “pancreas parent”, matters
• Keep your sense of humor and allow room for imperfection

Standout Quote:
"You're not worrying about things that aren't real. The things you're concerned about are actually real. Yeah, it seems like you're just putting too much weight into them." – Scott (19:57)

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