Juicebox Podcast: Type 1 Diabetes
Episode #1751: Body Grief – Dismissal and Shock
Host: Scott Benner
Guest: Erica Forsythe
Date: January 27, 2026
Overview
In this episode, Scott Benner and therapist Erica Forsythe continue their “Body Grief” series, exploring the emotional realities of living with type 1 diabetes. Pulling from Jane Mattingley’s book, This is Body Grief, they delve into the first two stages of “body grief”—Dismissal and Shock—discussing how these responses manifest for both people living with diabetes and caregivers. The conversation is filled with self-reflection, practical coping strategies, candid anecdotes, and guided mindfulness exercises, all aimed at helping listeners validate and navigate their emotional journeys.
Key Discussion Points
What Is Body Grief? (02:48)
- Definition: “The sense of loss and mourning that comes with living in an ever changing body.” – Erica
- Scope: While focused on diabetes, the stages of body grief apply to any evolving health condition or significant bodily change.
The Stages of Body Grief Are Nonlinear (03:53)
- People may move in and out of stages at any point, and they may experience several at once.
Stage One: Dismissal
What Is Dismissal? (04:38)
- Core Behavior: Saying “I’m fine, everything’s fine,” when in reality, uncertainty or fear exists beneath the surface.
- Purpose: Attempts to maintain control over a confusing reality; often a fear-based coping response.
- Applicability: Both people with diabetes and their caregivers may experience dismissal.
Memorable Quotes:
- Erica (05:35):
“You’re kind of ignoring, dismissing, and it is a response to fear.” - Erica (06:09):
“You might be fearing...Are you scared of what is to come? Or are you fearful that your body...will never go back to the way you were before?” - Scott (08:23):
“I think I’m one of those people and I wonder about me. Like, am I really just okay, or have I decided that this part we won’t think about anymore and therefore we can pretend we’re okay?”
Dismissal in Context:
- Rooted in fear of burdening others, fear of facing the future, or not wanting to inconvenience anyone by expressing true feelings.
- Results in surface-level interactions and isolation, as well as overcompensating (“Look at me, I can do all these things. I’m fine.”) (14:33)
- Strongly linked to cultural norms of politeness and “not wanting to be seen as too much or too needy.” (13:26)
The Social Dilemma of Disclosure (15:55)
- Scott: “If I’m fine’s not the...is there an answer besides I’m fine in polite society?”
- Sharing true feelings is risky; people may not understand and may respond with platitudes or misconceptions.
- Example of external dismissal: well-intentioned but minimizing remarks (“At least it’s not cancer”; “That pump makes it easy now, right?”).
- Erica (16:39): “I want to be honest, but can you handle it?...There’s this internal fear and avoidance of dismissal, but then this external dismissal, which I would probably define as misconceptions, may keep us in that place.”
The Tension of Bravery and Strength
- Scott (18:20): “I don’t think people are brave because they want to be. I think they’re brave because they don’t have any other choice.”
- Erica (19:10): “There also has to be space for the kid to say...this sucks. This is hard.”
- Toxic positivity: overemphasizing resilience can crowd out space for acknowledging struggle.
Practical Strategies for Dismissal (21:19)
- Prepare honest, simple statements for common misconceptions (e.g., “Living with diabetes, even with technology, is more complex than I ever imagined.”)
- Decide in micro-moments how much to share and with whom.
- Prepared responses and self-validation are key as reactions to ignorance, even from close friends, can still “land somewhere in my heart.” (26:28)
Mindfulness Exercise: Body Scan (28:12)
- Purpose: To counter dismissal by reconnecting with the body and emotions.
- Guided Steps (29:37–32:34):
- Sit comfortably with feet on the floor.
- Notice your body and breath.
- Place hands on heart, stomach, or legs and acknowledge warmth and connection.
- Identify tension, breathe deeply, and use affirmations from This Is Body Grief, e.g.:
- “It is normal and healthy to grieve.”
- “It’s okay not to have the answers today.”
- “My body is changing and I am safe.”
- “I know my body and my body is wise.”
Stage Two: Shock
What Is Shock? (35:24)
- Onset: Occurs when “there’s no more room for dismissal or denial” (37:24) and the reality can’t be sidestepped any longer.
- Manifestation: Overwhelm, feelings of “I can’t do this,” burnout, emotional dysregulation, numbness, disassociation, avoidance or over-scheduling.
- Description: “Shock is the embodiment of a reality check.” (36:56)
- Scott (38:02): “That struck me. That was so...it’s Popeye, right? ‘That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more.’”
Signs and Triggers of the Shock Stage (39:04)
- Feeling blindsided by anxiety, fear, or grief.
- Resorting to numbing habits (mindless scrolling, overeating, alcohol, etc.).
- Often intensified by cultural expectations of a pain-free, “normal” life:
Erica (39:52):
“We are...born into this mentality that this isn’t how life is supposed to be. I deserve a pain free life. And so...the feelings around shock are going to feel more intense.”
Coping with Shock—The “Shift Down” Perspective (40:38)
- Adjusting expectations of what living with diabetes—or any chronic change—really means.
- Small, practical acceptance: “With diabetes I can do pretty much anything anyone else can. But there are going to be times when I’m going to have to wait for my low to come up...to change my site...stopped at security at the airport.” (40:38)
- Recognize empowerment in realistic expectations (vs. staying stuck in rage when wishes and reality repeatedly conflict).
Simple Self-Soothing: The 1–5% Better Rule (45:40)
- When feeling overwhelmed, ask “What can I do to feel 1–5% better right now?”
- Emphasis on manageable, healthy acts: a favorite song, a hug, a warm bath, etc.
- Beware of over-reliance on unhealthy numbing activities.
- Scott (47:56): “The numbing works. It works, right?...But the problem is that’s all you’re doing.”
The Role of Numbing and Modern Life (48:18, 49:49)
- Exploring why people default to numbing (TV, social media, alcohol): it’s a deeply human coping tool but can lead to emptiness.
- The paradox of human striving: “The desire for more keeps us alive, and it kills us at the same time.” (49:49)
Mental Health Techniques for Shock and Burnout
Grounding: Five Finger Breathing & 5-4-3-2-1 Method (54:06)
- Five Finger Breathing: Trace finger up/down opposite hand’s fingers, inhale/exhale with each movement—helps break thought loops and calm the nervous system.
- 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding: Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.
- Box Breathing & Others: Inhale 4, hold 6, exhale 7 (60:04).
- Reiteration that breathing techniques are easy, effective, and portable.
- Scott (64:17): “I know it works for me...then I get into a situation where I could employ it...and either it’s too late...I don’t remember to do that.”
Feelings Vs. Facts (60:53)
- “Feelings are not facts. They are designed to encourage you to feel them, to do just that...and not let them drive you.” – Erica
- Use cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) awareness: recognize, feel, and process feelings rather than letting them dictate behavior.
Notable Quotes & Moments
- Erica (22:56): “People are not understanding how hard it is. So either I’m just going to say I’m fine when I’m not, or when I try and speak...they’re not really understanding...and then you’re left with feeling alone.”
- Scott (23:58): “Do you ever have two cookies to show them you can when you don’t want one?”
- Erica (26:44): “But the fact that I’m bringing it up and I remember it also means it landed somewhere in my heart.”
- Scott (37:43): “You’re dismissing, you’re dismissing, you’re dismissing, and then you can’t dismiss anymore. And then you have to give it away and that’s when it appears like you’re not paying attention any longer. That’s the burnout.”
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 02:48–04:38 – Defining body grief, context for the stages
- 05:35–06:37 – Unpacking “dismissal” and its emotional roots
- 13:26–15:53 – Social and personal implications of staying in dismissal
- 21:19–25:01 – Scripts and self-talk for navigating ignorance and microaggressions
- 28:12–32:34 – Guided body scan mindfulness exercise
- 35:24–37:43 – Defining shock and the transition from dismissal to overwhelm
- 45:40–47:56 – The 1–5% better coping strategy
- 54:06–57:06 – Grounding and breathing techniques
- 60:53–62:00 – Feelings versus facts: CBT approach
Practical Takeaways
- Be aware of dismissal and the temptation to always say “I’m fine”
- Prepare gentle, true responses to common diabetes misconceptions
- Notice and honor feelings, even if society or others encourage minimizing them
- Use body scans and grounding exercises to reconnect and self-validate
- Recognize signs of shock/burnout and respond with healthy self-soothing strategies
- Practice small acts that make things 1–5% better when overwhelmed
- Remember: “Feelings are not facts”—allow them, but don’t let them drive
Tone & Style
The tone is compassionate, conversational, and gently humorous, blending psychological insight with real-life anecdotes. Scott’s openness about his own doubts and behaviors, alongside Erica’s validating and practical approach, creates a welcoming, nonjudgmental environment.
For Listeners New to the Episode
This episode invites you to reflect on the authentic and sometimes messy emotional journey of living with (or loving someone with) type 1 diabetes. You’ll gain language for your feelings, concrete tools to work through distress, and permission to both acknowledge hardships and seek comfort in mindful, realistic ways.
Further Resources
- This is Body Grief by Jane Mattingley
- Juicebox Podcast “Bold Beginnings” and “Algorithm Pumping” series
- Episode 913 – Grounding Exercise (referenced: 5-4-3-2-1 method)
- Additional body grief affirmations and practices can be built into daily routines
End of summary.