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Here we are, back together again, friends, for another episode of the Juice Box Podcast.
B
Hey, Scott. So I'm Raheem. I'm a type 1 diabetic, as most of the people that are on this show, and I just can't really wait to tell my story and, you know, share some of my wild things that I've gone through in the years that I've been diabetic.
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If you'd like to hear about diabetes management in easy to take in bits, check out the Small Sips. That's the series on the Juice Box podcast that listeners are talking about like it's a cheat code. These are perfect little bursts of clarity. One person said, I finally understood things I've heard a hundred times. Short, simple, and somehow exactly what I needed. People say Small sips feels like someone pulling up a chair, sliding a cup across the table and. And giving you one clean idea at a time. Nothing overwhelming, no fire hose of information, just steady, helpful nudges that actually stick. People listen in their car, on walks, or while they're actually bolusing anytime that they need a quick shot of perspective. And the reviews, they all say the same thing. Small sips makes diabetes make sense. Search for the Juice Box Podcast, Small Sips, wherever you get audio. Nothing you hear on the Juice Box Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. The episode you're listening to is sponsored by usmed usmed.com juicebox or call 888-721-1514. You can get your diabetes testing supplies the same way we do from usmed. Today's episode is also sponsored by Omnipod. Check out the Omnipod 5 now with my link. Omnipod.com juicebox you may be eligible for a free starter kit, a free Omnipod 5 starter kit at my link. Go check it out. Omnipod.com Juicebox terms and conditions apply. Full terms and conditions can be found@ omnipod.com juicebox hey, Scott.
B
So I'm Raheem. I'm a type 1 diabetic, as most of the people that are are on this show. And I just can't really wait to tell my story and, you know, share some of my wild things that I've gone through in the years that I've been diabetic.
A
Well, your note just says, like, hey, this might be an after dark. So I was like, okay, we'll find out. Now. We've met a couple of times, right?
B
We have, yeah. So you've Come down to Orlando a few times back when I. Well, I think you came to, like, the Disney parks, actually, for the conventions and things like that. And I just so happened to work at Universal at the time, and I was like, oh, I kind of know who this guy is. Like, I'll go check it out, because it's, like, right in my backyard. So I was like, let's just see what this is about. And, yeah, that's how we actually met the very first time in.
A
Very cool. So how long have you had type one? When were you diagnosed?
B
You know, that's. That's a good question. And I know, again, I. I've listened to your shows, the show quite a bit as well. I know I was diagnosed. My first memory of diabetes is probably, like, seventh grade. I'm sure I was diabetic a little bit before that. I'm guessing fifth grade. And I know that I was born in 89, so how old you are in those ages and things, I'm not sure, but fifth grade, seventh grade, right around there.
A
I can't believe you just told me you were born. That you're a. Graduated from high school.
B
Hey, that's horrifying things.
A
But. Okay, wait, but what's with your life that you're not 100 sure when you were diagnosed?
B
I think it was a little bit of, like, childhood trauma and things that I went through where I just kind of blocked out a lot of my life. And then even, like, early stage diabetes, I found that, like, I wasn't taking care of myself, so I found that my blood sugars were just, like, hanging out in, like, the 400, 500 range, like, constantly. And then I just have, like, a little bit of, like, memory fog of all that, like, piecing some of the stories together. Like, even when I was prepping for, like, this podcast and being on the show, I was like. I was like, doing a timeline, and I was like, this is a huge gap of where I have no idea what happened. So I think it's. I think it just, you know, just had to piece it together. And I was like, I don't really know what happened for 20 years of my life. And sometimes.
A
Well, maybe we have to understand your family structure a little better. Because if you're like, even if you were diagnosed, you know, around a certain grade, you know, fifth, sixth, seventh, who care? Like, in there, did you not have people helping you? What was your family structure? Were you living at home? Did you. I feel like there's got to be a story there.
B
There's a whole Bunch of story. So strap in. So I have to start. It all started out, you know, probably about 30 some odd years ago. It's just an itch in my dad's pants. That's just how it started, you know. But we actually got to. Once we got to like the diabetes part, like, my mom was actually a cna and like this spans into like the. When I first remember diabetes and everything, my mom was like a certified nurse's assistant, so she kind of saw the signs. The only thing I remember is that it was around a Thanksgiving holiday. Everybody was like, oh, yeah, you know, we're gonna have all this ham, turkey, you know, mashed potatoes, the whole nine yards. And I was like, I'll take some Sprite. Yeah, Sprite sounds good for Thanksgiving. And then as you know, everyone's eating and everything. I'm like, I gotta go to the bathroom. And again, I'm young at this time, so I'm not really sure what's going on. I'm like, I like to eat. You know, I'm a big guy. All things considered, I like to eat. But that day I was just like, nah. So did all day for me today. So then my mom was like, that's kind of a weird symptom. And my grandmother was diabetic. I think she was type 2. But again, back then, you know, they didn't. They knew what was going on, but they kind of gave her shots and gave her pills at the same time.
A
Yeah.
B
So she kind of threw a couple red flags. She was like, you know, if he's peeing a lot, it's kind of the symptoms that I go through too. You know, we should go get them checked out. So I remember February, actually. It was. So after Thanksgiving, all that stuff went by. We went to like, the primary care. They were probably like, you know, figure it out. Yeah, we'll do some testing, things like that. And then they ended up sending us to the Shands hospital in like, Gainesville. I'm from Florida, as you know. And then when we went to Gainesville, they were just like, you know, it's. It's definitely type 1 diabetes. You know, he's been yearning a lot. He's been going to the bathroom. He just has all these signs. So just like every other endo, they gave me my last meal, which I clear as they remember was Golden Corral. And I remember that day. I. I do very vividly remember that day because, you know, back in the day when Golden Corral was like this huge, you know, it was like the place to Be as a kid, I just remember. Just stuff in my face. And I remember seeing my mom, and she was just always like, she's like, kind of, like, sad. And I was like, what are you talking about? This is the best day ever. Like, we're at Golden Corral. We just did this doctor's appointment that, like, I didn't know what was going on, but I got the food, so we're good. And then so, you know, after that, they really just brought in the needle, showed me the old school teddy bears, all the. The vials at mph. And that's just kind of how it's been. It's just I don't have much memories of it, you know, par say, but
A
are you in charge of your insulin or is your. Are your parents helping you with it?
B
They were back then, in the start of it, like I said. I remember when I. When I first. When I first. When they first, like, introduced me to, like, the syringes and things like that, I was like, this is no big deal. I can do this. Like, I clearly remember my dad even. You know, we were all in the office with the endos and the nurse practitioners and everything, and we're shooting the teddy bear, everything like that. And I'm like, you know, this is fine. No big deal. My dad just. Again, I don't know if this was a dream or if it's real life. I just remember him dropping pants right in the Endo's office and being like, all right, cool. You've done it with the banana, you've done it with the teddy bear. Shoot it in me. And it's, you know, like the saline back then. So I was like, all right, cool, let's do it. I poked with it. He jumped. And I was like, man, this is crazy. I don't think, like, this is for me or whatever. But then after, you know, talking to the endos and everything like that, they were like, you know, you got to give yourself shots. And I was like, I thought this little bottle of insulin, I thought this was something that I was going to, you know, drink parse, like, you beat. I got to inject this. And they were like, yeah, you know, that's what you got to do for probably the rest of your life. And I'm, you know, little kid. I was like, yeah, that's the worst of our day. Not that bad. I just injected my dad. I've been injecting this teddy bear for 30 minutes. Like, no big deal. So in the beginning, I was giving myself my own injections as. As as at that age and stuff like that, no problems at all. But then about a year into my diabetes, like maybe the first, second year back then, I'm sure you remember, those needles seemed to be so thick and long and it was just the weirdest thing. One day I remember injecting in the arm and I remember pulling the needle out and like it was bent. And like from that moment I was like, I can't do this. My mom's a cna. Like, she can inject me. My dad can figure it out. You know, they. They can inject me from here on in. So, I mean, as a family, we definitely all gathered around the diabetes, but it was more a thing that they told me it was my autoimmune disease. Something that I'm going to have to figure out because as an adult, once I get to that adulthood, you know, they may not be around or whatever the case may be. So, yeah, in the beginning they definitely were there to help me, but it was more of a self managed once I stop things going, you know.
A
Yeah, okay. Because when you're first talking, you're talking about like not really remembering a chunk of time with diabetes because you think of high blood sugars. So do you really think your blood sugars were in the 400s often, or do you even have an ability to know what they were back then? Was the doctor tracking them?
B
Oh, yeah. I remember at the beginning when I was first like going in for the diagnosis, I was diagnosed at a 506. Why do I remember that number? I don't know, but I remember seeing those huge, you know, glucometers and seeing 506. And then again, you know, the first couple of months, you know, we were testing, I was probably in range for a while. I was probably like 1 forties, 200, because, you know, back then the range was a little bit wider. So I probably was like in the range. But then as I got a little bit older and I realized, you know, I kind of feel how my body's going to. I stopped testing. And then that's when I think that the super hyperglycemia happened and I had. I was just okay with it. I guess maybe it was almost like a stage of like a depression because I was just getting overwhelmed with it from it never going away. If I wanted to go on vacation, diabetes was there. If I wanted to hang out with my friends, diabetes was there. If I wanted to go bowling, diabetes came with me. I was like, does this, does this thing ever take a break? So I think that's where, you know, during those teenage years is when I was really, like, combating against it. Yeah, I just didn't want to do it anymore. So I took the insulin every once in a while and kept going about my day.
A
Took it once in a while. Were you regular an MPH in 89. How did they start you?
B
Oh, yeah, Yep. The regular, the mph, mixing them and things of that nature. And I know as we go along this story, there was even a time where my mom kind of. I wouldn't say, like, gave up on me and, like, taking care of me, but. But she needed help per se, so she actually sent me to the. It was called the Diabetic Project Unit in Gainesville, where they held, like, us as middle schoolers and they taught us about diabetes. So I remember. I. Clear as they remember. Maybe 2000. Maybe 2000. Yeah. Actually, the program ended in 2001, so I'd probably say 2000. They really taught us, like, they really drilled, like, carb counting, protein counting, fat counting, and. And really had us exercising a lot. So, like, at an early age, I still knew how to do that, but I didn't think that because, you know, back then they were like, oh, yeah, we're gonna find a cure in 20 years. And I knew. I think I understood at a young age. I was like, I don't think that they're gonna figure this one out because I gotta travel with this everywhere I go where my friends, you know, wear glasses when they want to or whatever the case may be. I was like, this. This is. I don't think this one's going anywhere anytime soon. So. Yeah.
A
Okay, so are you trying. Are you telling me that through your young life, that insulin was more about, like, shooting a couple of times a day? There wasn't really a lot of testing. You're going to the doctor once in a while, and you're seeing your. Your outcomes are not awesome, but you're alive and you're moving, and it's a lot of pressure on you, and you're not exactly excited about being involved with it all the time. But can I ask you, like, when you see those outcomes, like, looking back now as an adult, why do your parents not jump in and say, hey, this is out of hand. We have to fix this?
B
This is where it gets a little dark. Actually. They were busy. What's the best word you could put here? Hustling.
A
Hustling?
B
Yeah.
A
What were they hustling?
B
The good stuff. The stuff that they. They definitely. How do you say, underground pharmacies? How to how do you.
A
They were running a social experiment. So your parents sold drugs?
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. Okay. So they were out working?
B
Yeah. They. They definitely had to make sure that there was food on the table and things like that. So yes, they, they made sure that the house was taken care of. Any means that they needed to? Yes.
A
Were they using the product?
B
No. Not early stage? No. A little bit later down in life? I believe so. But during the beginning stages or what I remember. No, it was really just a business to keep the lights on, to keep food on the table, to keep life in check. Yeah.
A
Did you have a feeling as a kid that that's what was happening? Did you understand the family business? I guess. This episode is brought to you by Omnipod Would you ever buy a car without test driving it first? That's a big risk to take on a pretty large investment. You wouldn't do that, right? So why would you do it? When it comes to choosing an insulin pump, most pumps come with a four year lock in period through the DME channel and you don't even get to try it first. But not Omnipod 5. Omnipod 5 is available exclusively through the pharmacy, which means it doesn't come with a typical four year DME lock in period. Plus, you can get started with a free 30 day trial to be sure it's the right choice for you or your family. My daughter has been wearing an Omnipod every day for 17 years. Are you ready to give Omnipod5 a try? Request your free starter kit today at my link omnipod.com Juicebox terms and conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found@ omnipod.com juice juicebox find my link in the show Notes of this podcast player or@juiceboxpodcast.com I have always disliked ordering diabetes supplies. I'm guessing you have as well. It hasn't been a problem for us for the last few years though, because we began using US Med. You can too. Usmed.com juicebox or call 888-721-1514 to get your free benefits. Check USMED has served over 1 million people living with diabetes since 1996. They carry everything you need from CGMs to insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies and more. I'm talking about all the good ones. All your favorites, Libre 3, Dexcom, G7 and pumps like Omnipod 5, Omnipod Dash Tandem, and most recently the ILET pump from Beta Bionics. The stuff you're looking for, they have it at usmed888-721-1514 or go to usmed.com juicebox to get started. Now use my link to support the podcast that's usmed.com juicebox or call 888-721-1514.
B
I understood it, yes, to an extent. So that actually brings me into another story, which was before the diabetes thing. If I could share, please. I was in kindergarten, and, you know, we had a field trip, and I knew that my mom and my teacher didn't get along. Why? Couldn't tell you. But I remember this field trip. We went to the. To the zoo, actually. Not too far away, maybe 30 minutes, whatever the case may be. I remember at the zoo, every. You know, I'm kind of, like, getting away from the crowd. Like, we had chaperones, you know, this is Pre pandemic,Pre 9, 11,Pre. When the world was a little different. I remember the zoo. It's getting dark outside, and I'm like, you know, where's everybody at? Like, something's going on here. Come to find out. This teacher left me at the zoo. So you're like, whoa, this wouldn't fly in today's world, but back then, a little bit different. Comes to find out. I actually just spoke with my mom not too long ago, a couple months ago, and I asked, and I was like, do you remember this story? She's like, yeah, I remember that individual. She's like, yeah, she left you at the stew because she owed me money and she didn't want to pay, and so she left you behind. And I was like, what are you talking about?
A
The teacher was a client, I believe.
B
So what was she a client of? Maybe she was just buying a little weed on the side. I don't know. But it was to an A point where I got left behind.
A
Hey, I wanted to ask you before you moved on, was it just weed, or did it go farther than that?
B
It got a little bit further. And I can't deny that one to you. But a lot of weed is what I saw.
A
Yeah, a lot of we. But then what? What's next? Coke?
B
Yeah, a little bit of coke. A couple pills. Yeah, yeah. Crack, I'm sure. I don't know. I don't know.
A
But, yeah, it was an expansive project.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
Kitchen was always hot. Jesus.
A
Were you at a meth house? You weren't, were you?
B
No, no, not that crazy, Scott.
A
That's insane. What do you say? Yes. All right, so that's an awesome story. Good.
B
Here's where it gets a little crazier. As well. So, again, this is where the timeline. I don't know if it makes sense because I don't know how old I was parse in kindergarten, but I remember after, like, that spilled over maybe a month or two later into, like, the school year. I don't know, call me crazy, but I sure remember a lot of DARE officers being around and asking me a lot of questions. And this is when my brain. Even as in kindergarten, my brain was like, you know, something's going on here. And I still remember to this day my mom being like, look, if any officers at the school talk to you, you don't know anything. So I. That's how I kind of knew that she was drilling something into me, you know, a way to speak to individuals. Because again, I know the dare thing kind of had its own. How do you say, bad side of it, where they were trying to, you know, get the kids to talk about things that were going at home so they could use them later.
A
Yeah.
B
Might be one of my weird conspiracy theories, but, yeah, it is. It was just odd after that incident happened that all these officers started asking me questions. So I think that's when I kind of realized that, like, something was going on.
A
It was going on. Boy. Boy, that's really.
B
That's.
A
But now, listen, how old are you now today?
B
Born in 89. I don't know, 30. 30. Carry the seven. 36, I think.
A
Okay. Looking back, do you see that as insane? You don't have children, right?
B
I don't have children, no.
A
But if you had children, do you under. Do you see that, like pulling them aside in kindergarten and going, listen, if the man shows up, you don't know nothing.
B
Yeah. In hindsight, now I'm like, oh, wow, that's. That's, you know, it's wild because, like, now as a. As a grown man, you know, I understand because I. I dabble a little bit into the marijuana because it is medically acceptable in Florida now. So, you know, I do dabble into it now. But yeah, now that I see it, I'm like, the way that she was speaking to me, there was a lot going on, but, like, she knew that, you know, kids say the weirdest things. I'm sure you see the tick tocks and things of, like these things that parents hear or the teachers here.
A
Right.
B
That they say in the schools and things. So I'm sure that my mom was like, I don't want this little kid to, you know, say some wild things of what's going on and mess up something.
A
So My mom says we're not moving enough product this week, and. Yeah,
B
so, miss Teacher lady, you better. You better pay up before we have to.
A
Don't make us send the guy around. Okay.
B
My goodness. My gosh.
A
All right. Okay. So now I understand a little better about how your. Your diabetes care went. So basically, there was no one putting, you know, leave it the beaver level effort into your health.
B
Correct.
A
Okay. Okay. And so then what does that lead to? Like, explain to me from a diabetes perspective what your time was like growing up and when the. I guess I'd like to know right now. Where are you at right now with your care?
B
Yeah, so right now with my care, with my current girlfriend. She's a nurse, actually, so she is, like, on top of my diabetes. Like, my A1Cs are probably about a6, maybe a6, two or so. So as of right now, we've been on top of things. If you were to ask me where my A1C was three, four years ago, right after pandemic kind of hit, I was probably hanging around the 9 and 10 area zone.
A
So then, basically, from the time you were diagnosed, I love how you also didn't know how old you are from the time you were diagnosed until just a little post pandemic, you don't really know your A1Cs were higher. Were you seeing a doctor yearly? Quarterly. How did you manage on that side?
B
After I turned 18, after I was an adult, I'd probably say I'd saw a doctor, like the endo or the nurse practitioner maybe once a year. And that was just to feel the medicine. Yep, that was it. And I still remember going into the office and she's like, oh, how's your feet? How's your. How's your. You know, how's everything feeling on the inside? And I was like, you know, respectfully, ma', am, just, can you do the insulin so I can keep going about my day? Can you just fill the strip? The strips, which. I had ten hundred million of them at home because I wasn't testing, but I still wanted them to be filled because if things did hit the fan, I knew. I was like, I got a little stockpile just in case if I actually had to use it. Yeah, the endos appointments, I think that they kind of gave up on me at one point, I'm sure, because I remember probably mid-20s or so, they were just giving me the. What was it? The 70, 30. And they were like, look, just try to do this twice a day. We know your A1C is out of control. Like, this is just gonna at least keep you alive as long as they possibly could. And again, I, I respect those that are on the 70, 30, I respect those that are on the fast acting and the pumps and the X, Y and Z things. But yeah, I was, I was kind of a, a dead case to them, I feel.
A
Well, yeah, I mean, you can almost tell by. She's just asking about your feet. She's wondering when you're going to get to the next part and. Yeah, and so, okay, so this part I'd like to dig into for a while because you're older there and you have better recollection of that. Why weren't you trying to take care of yourself? Did you understand the, the ramifications of not doing so?
B
Oh, 100%. I don't know if this is going to get bleeped out or anything, but I still remember like going to some of the endos appointments and they're being like, listen, do you want to have sex when you're older? And I was like, yeah, of course. And they were like, listen, if you don't get your diabetes under control, it's not going to work. Like, it's not, you're not going to be able to do that. And I'm like, okay, well, we'll see what happens. Like when that, when that day comes, I'll cross that path then. So they definitely told me about it, but I was just. Did you believe it in a spot? Yeah. I just, I didn't care. I think I was, I think I was going through some type of depression where I just didn't care. I didn't want to be diabetic anymore. I just didn't want to do it. I knew how. I just didn't want to.
A
And you weren't, I mean, do it. It's not like you were doing a whole lot to begin with, right? Like you just wanted, you wanted to be just disconnected from it completely. Not, not made easier or better or something like that. Like, so is that a suicidal feeling or do you not think of it that way? Like, listen, because obviously if you take, if someone takes their own life, it happens pretty instantaneously by saying, I'm not going to take care of my blood sugar and I know that there's going to be bad outcomes years down the line. It's just a very slow suicide. So. But, but do you think about it that way?
B
I don't believe so. Now again, once, once you guys, like once everyone sees who I am and can structure me as a person, I know you We've actually crossed paths, like face to face and things in our household we don't believe, I guess, is the right way, that that should be an option. So that never crossed my mind that way. But did I know that that was what, that's what was happening? Yeah, I thought that's what the outcome would have ultimately been. But I was always like, and I'll take just enough insulin to keep it going. Just enough to get by. Not enough to live happy and healthy, but just enough to see the next morning.
A
You know, it's interesting to know that you, you understood the, the long term ramifications. But did you think, I'll turn this ship around before it's too late? Like, I'll just ride out this low effort as long as I can and then I'll just stop? Or did you have a plan at the end for how to stop it from ending your life or hurting you so. So much so that you kind of couldn't rebound from it?
B
Yeah. So again, when I was in, like, the. The project unit in Gainesville, they taught us they. They really rammed how to, like, count carbs, the proteins, the fat. They even had, like, mental health doctors come in and talk to us. So it's, It's. I knew how to take care of myself.
A
Yeah.
B
I just didn't want to. So I thought, yeah, I do believe that at some point I was like, you know, as long as I can get by another day, like, I'll be fine. And then, you know, next month I'll. I'll start taking care of myself. Next month I'll. I'll actually test maybe once or twice this week. You know, it was kind of at that point, it was. I would say it was what you may call like a suicidal thought, but not a suicidal idea.
A
Well, I understand. So what stopped next month from coming when you're like, oh, I'll pull it together next month. How come next month came and you were like, maybe next month? Like, how, like, what? Do you know what that was?
B
Yeah. Probably just smoking weed. And then I forgot because I got high.
A
Because I got high. Because I got high.
B
I was going to clean my room, and then I was like, you know, I could just hang out here for a little while. Like, everything seems to be fine.
A
What a great song that was, by the way.
B
It was. I wish I could go back to the 2000 sometimes.
A
I was going to clean my room and I got. Okay, okay, well, that makes sense. Was there a lady in your life at that point?
B
Yeah, I. So my turnaround point Right, Yeah, that's what I'm finding.
A
That's what I'm looking for.
B
Was probably about, let's see, 2014, 2013. Okay. That was probably the turnaround point because I did meet a young lady, a very nice young lady. I thought I was going to get married. I thought everything was going great. And then, you know, you heard the word thought there. So obviously I'm not with said lady anymore. Some things happen. We went our different ways. So at that time frame, when we were together and things were going good, I was like, you know, maybe I should get things under control. You know, maybe I do want to have a family. Maybe I do want to, you know, give to this. To this. To this lady, to this family that we could potentially grow. So I was like, you know, maybe this A1C thing, maybe this diabetes thing, I do need to get it under control. And she was totally on board, which is kind of how I figured out about the podcast. I don't remember exactly when you started recording or so, but I remember her being like, oh, yeah, I found this podcast. And I was like, dude, this guy. Excuse me for what I say here, but you're fine. Why I do this? My girlfriend. The girlfriend at the time was like, you know, this podcast, this guy kind of seems what he's going through. His daughter's been diabetic for basically her whole life. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, yeah, it's probably just some, like, some gimmick or, you know, just. Just some fake stuff. And I was like, you know, I'll give it an episode. So I don't remember which episode I listened to. And I was like, you know, he's really just drilling in about how his daughter's A1C, has been under, you know, six for, like, ever. And I was like, I could do that, but I don't want to right now. So that was right around the time I had an endo appointment. I'm starting to get my life back in track. And the endo's like, yeah, you want a Dexcom or no, you want an omnipod? I'll give it to you, no problem. Put the omnipod on. And I actually test my blood sugar, and I was, you know, 210. And I was like, you know, it's not bad because three hours ago, I was probably about 400, because I could feel it in the eyes. I could feel it in the body.
A
You can feel it in your eyes. Explain that to people.
B
Oh, goodness. So I'm a. I'm a bowler as well. So that's how I got through, like, my college as well is. I call it bowling. Paid for my college. When I say I can feel it in my eyes, of course, I have a little bit of. What is it called? Neuropathy, the retinopathy. So I do see, like, the little flurries here and there. Sometimes whenever I go bowling, I, I, I'm aiming, you know, because you gotta aim. You can't just throw it to the left side. Whenever I'm aiming, I see some of these flurries, and whenever they get a little larger, I'm like, oh, man, my blood sugar is extremely high right now. And then again, that's kind of what taught me. I was like, I don't want to go blind because I want to see the world. So I was like, I think now we're at that point where we really need to start fixing our life. Before those complications that I was told about when I was younger, now I'm starting to see them happening. And I'm like, okay, it's time.
A
I want to make sure I understand the timeline better. So I have been. This is the 12th year of the podcast we're recording now in January 2026, and I started making it the very beginning of 2015. Do you think you've been aware of the podcast for a decade, 10 years, or are you just mixing? Are you mixing up the timeline a little bit?
B
No, it's been about. No, I was there about from the start.
A
Okay, yeah, okay.
B
I knew about it, you know.
A
Yeah, yeah. This girl told you about it, and you were like, I don't know. And so like, and that and this. Fine, because you're not. Right. It doesn't matter. If you're not ready, you're not going to, you know, let's do it. You start worrying about your eyes. How long ago do you think you started worrying about your eyes?
B
I knew my eyes were a problem when I was very young because my dad used to take me bowling. And, I mean, this is again how I kind of realized that I was a good bowler. When you're throwing a ball and my dad's like, you know, aim at, you know, the game of bowling. Aim at that middle arrow. I was like, what middle arrow? And now that I understand the game, that middle arrow is only, I think, 13ft away. I had no idea what he was talking about. I was like, I don't see any arrows. I see just some little white fuzzy pen down there. But I don't know what you're talking about, man.
A
And that's you as a kid. But when as an adult, like, who's going to change the way they take care of themselves? Where you're like, o going to lose my sight. I got to do something. Do you have any idea how long ago that was?
B
Yeah, that was probably right around that. 2014, 2015.
A
Okay, you're thinking about it then.
B
Yeah.
A
And then. But even after you have that thought, then. So it's a slow matriculation into a different lifestyle. Doesn't happen overnight. Right. Like, you have to kind of get into it slowly.
B
Exactly. Yeah.
A
Okay. And. And what's that process look like? Like, is it. She brings it up, you think about it a little more, you notice your eyesight, you don't want it to go bad, but then you don't pull it together fast enough, she break up with you, you realize, oh, I'm gonna, like, give me that. Like, whatever happened in there?
B
I start noticing a couple other problems. I don't know if this one was really like, diabetes related, but like at night I was just sweating for no reason. Like, just a puddle of water. Like, it was wild. I started notice some, like, even mental health changes. Like, I was like, oh, you know, my blood sugar is like dropping really fast, and I'm noticing that I'm getting mood swings. Of course, I'm very expressive where I'm like, hey, let's talk this out. Let's see why I'm feeling this way. I was like, I don't think I'm supposed to be swinging moods like this. So at that point, I was like, something's got to give. And I was like, you know, I was. I was bowling a little bit, seeing my eyes were not doing well, sawing that my legs were not. The muscles just couldn't really hold me up, per se. So I was like, you know, I think it's time now to make a change to see if I can't get a couple of years back of my life after probably damaging every cell almost in my body.
A
Yeah. So what does that mean then? Does it mean testing more frequently, making sure to give yourself insulin on a better schedule? Like, what were your first steps that got you to where you are now?
B
Yeah, so the first steps really were testing once in a while because I did have the omnipod on my body with no dexcom. Okay. So I would just, you know, I was like, oh, yeah, I knew how to carb count. So, you know, the training classes that they gave you, I was like, this is kind of a joke. I was like, I did this, like, 20 years ago, like, I can do. Or 15 years ago. I can do this, no problem. But I really noticed that the turnaround spot happened when. When the eyes were going, when everything was kind of just blanking out onto me. And then my girlfriend at the time was like, you know, hey, look, I want to have kids. And, you know, I looked online and they say that if you're diabetic, then you may not be able to do that. And I was like, oh, okay. So, yeah, I'll test, you know, once a week now. And then I was getting these weird lows, like in the middle of the afternoon, probably because the endo had to set my. What do you call the. The basal at a higher rate because she knew I wasn't going to do anything, so she probably just set it a little bit too high, and I was just bottoming it out in the afternoon. So I was like, okay, I was like, I will start testing. I will start listening to this to your podcast and a couple other podcasters as well. And then from there, I was just smooth sailing, because again, at that young age, when they taught me how to carve count, then I don't know, I went back to 2001 and I was like, oh, man, I know exactly how to do all this stuff. Like, this is not that hard.
A
When that happened, did you have a moment where you said to yourself, why did I not do this sooner?
B
Oh, yeah, I had a couple of moments. There was. There's actually a couple countless nights where I just couldn't sleep because I was like, wow, I wasted countless years of my life. And, I mean, there's just so much time spent that I was just trying to push diabetes off. And, you know, just when I could have. When I knew what was going on, I knew how to take care of everything. I knew what I needed to do. But for some reason, I don't know if it was just my young man adult brain just not listening or what it was, but, yeah, I wish if there was ever a time machine. Oh, I would go back and just absolutely slap the. You know what?
A
Out of myself is the realization so much. So, like, is it powerful enough to make you depressed? Or how do you get through that when. How do you get through that when you realize that your health has slipped and it was something that you could have prevented?
B
That's a tough one. So I just wake up the next day and I'm like, hey, look, we're just going to try a little bit better today, you know? Yeah, that's pretty Much. It. What happened in the past is in the past. Today is a new day. We're just going to try to do better today.
A
That's really good for you, man. Because, like, a lot of people could get stuck in the. In that cycle of blaming themselves, feeling bad, not moving on.
B
Wow.
A
Yeah. But you were able to do that, and then why did it not end up working out with that girl? Was it about your health or did it end up being something different?
B
It was something completely different. I hope you know she's part of your Facebook group, which is, you know, an awesome support system, so I hope she actually doesn't listen to this, but she got caught cheating.
A
Oh, okay.
B
Yeah.
A
Oh, all right.
B
You weren't ready for that one. That's curveball right there.
A
You do sound like kind of a pain in the. If I'm being honest.
B
So I totally get it. I totally get it. So. Yeah, so I kind of just figured that out, and I was like, yeah, this is kind of weird. So, you know, do you think she
A
didn't want to lock in with you totally because she wasn't sure if you were going to pull together?
B
I don't believe so. I believe that the way that we communicated in the way that we were. She could clear as they see that I was on a new path of getting better and handling myself. So I was actually. I feel that I was on the up slope of, like, getting my life together. So I thought that she would have thought that that was pretty impressive, actually. I don't really know. We don't. Yeah, we don't talk about it too much because, like, we are. I wouldn't say we're like, best of friends or anything like that, but, yeah, we don't just. It's.
A
And she remains a part of my group, but she doesn't have any connection to diabetes at this point.
B
No, I don't believe so. I know maybe her grandparents or type twos or something of that nature, but now she doesn't have any connections.
A
I mean, in fairness, she might just think I'm awesome and just want to listen if I'm. She could.
B
But, I mean, you do have a good phone voice. And like I said, we both used to work for a major theme park in Orlando. So, like, maybe it is your voice.
A
Just like. I don't know. This is very soothing. Okay, whatever. I don't care. As long as she's downloading and subscribe. All right, so what's the gap of time, then between, like, your, you know, relationship dissolves and today, how long has that been.
B
Let's see. We broke up. It was after. See, it's. This is such a weird thing. This is how I, like, remember things. I put, like, the big. Like, what happened big. And I'm like, oh, Covid was here. Oh, you know, this happened at this time. Like, the big. Anything that happens, I'm like, ah, this is. We broke up here. So let's see. Probably 2022. 2022, I would say we broke up, and. Yeah, that's why we went our separate ways.
A
But there's somebody else now, is my point.
B
Yes, there is. It's. It's crazy. It's actually one of my high school sweethearts. Well, in high school, we didn't really know each other like that. She was very. I know she will hear this, actually. She was very nerdy, but she was very intelligent. Where I was more. What do you call it? The jock of the school. I played the sports. I went. I did the bowling thing, which. It's a sport. Bowling is a sport. We do drink our beer, but bowling is a sport. Yeah. And then I met her, and she's a nurse, and it's been awesome ever since. And I can't wait to. Yeah. Spend the rest of my days with this one. She's awesome.
A
That's awesome. Well, listen, Raheem, that's wonderful, first of all, but tell me the difference between starting a relationship with your blood sugars all over the place and starting your relationship the way you are now. Like, what has that changed for you? How has it made things better?
B
Yeah, I'm more coherent now. I'm actually, like, people can talk to me, and I can respond. Where before I was just like, oh, you asked me a question, and it would just dilute in my brain. I would just be like, you'd be like, oh, how's the weather today? And I'd be like, yeah, I think there's 13 pieces of peanut butter in the drawer. It just didn't make sense. Like, now I actually feel like I can handle a conversation with the person. And again, growing with my partner. Now she's just showing me that, like, look, if you can keep your blood sugars at this, you know, 80 to 110 range, like, your mental capacity is just gonna go through the roof. We're trying to do, like, the YouTube thing because, again, I do do a lot of bowling. I'm actually top 20 in the state of Florida as far as a bowler, so that's pretty awesome there. So we're trying to do, like, this YouTube thing in our Daily lives and things like that, so I can be present into it as opposed to being like, you know, I don't feel good today, or whatever the case may be. I can live my life.
A
What you're saying is making me think that maybe we haven't dove deep enough yet into what brain fog means. You know, like. Because it's easy to say, like, I felt foggy or I experienced brain fog, because those are words that doctors use, like, to, you know, describe high blood sugars. But you're telling me that, like, you could hear something and your response might be disconnected from the question.
B
Oh, 100%.
A
And.
B
And then I would even touch in, like, I would touch in with the, like, my partner at the time or whatever. I'd be like, why did they say that to me? And then she would be like, what are you talking about? That's not what they said. And I'm like, that's what I heard. And it's. There's even been times where she's recorded me, and she's like, what did you hear? And I'm like, I heard her say this. And she pulls up the tape. I'm like, that's not what she said at all, is it? I'm like, what did I hear?
A
You're just all over the place, and that does not happen to you any longer.
B
Very rarely, every once in a while, I do like to go on, like, my little wild tangents once in a while where I do just talk and don't listen, but very rarely, I would
A
say now, but you don't think when it happens, it's not coming from high blood sugars?
B
I can feel it starting to rise. Like, I do feel that. Like, if it's like, post meal and I'm. I didn't bolus correctly. Or we didn't bolus correctly then. Yeah, I mean, when I do feel the spikes coming, I can feel the fogginess come a little bit. But it's now to a point where I'm like, oh, I feel this way. Either I need to go smoke some of that weed. No, I'm just kidding. Or I need to, you know, figure out the blood sugar so I don't get to that point where I can't function.
A
Yeah, your note's really simple. It says, I don't remember high school, college, drugs, sex. My current girlfriend is a nurse, and I really want to be honest about how I feel about the podcast and how I'd like to be more involved with the community. Do you remember writing that?
B
No, you don't Remember, you don't actually. Well, the only thing, the only reason that I do remember is because I just read it maybe two hours ago, but when I read it, I was like, I don't remember when I sent this. And I remember I actually sent you another email as well from like, a couple of years ago when I was, like, in a darker spot. I was like, there's no way I sent that. I was like, there's just no way.
A
So you remember your interactions with me, like, that I always took as strange. Like, like, in person, you're lovely. Like, so I wasn't scared. I wasn't scared. But, like, your emails were weird. Like, it, like a little bit and.
B
Oh, yeah, they were.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And to me, it points out that you've been on a pretty significant journey from a, From a dark place to where you are now. I, I just think it should be celebrated that you, you know, that you persevered this long through so many different health issues and personal situations and you actually got to the spot that you meant to be at. I, I think that should be uplifting to people, to be perfectly honest, because it was not. It's not a linear. Like, I made a decision to do better and then better just happened, and now here I am. Or, you know, like, I listened to the Pro Tip series and three months later I understood how to bolus, and now I'm good. This is more, I mean, a lot of fits and starts and probably, I would imagine, like, you know, two steps forward, three steps back, situations along the way.
B
Exactly. Yeah. It's definitely been a roller coaster. I can't deny that one at all. Yeah. Now that I've been going down the right path and everything, like, again, this, the daily life is just so much, so much clearer now. It's, It's. It's unbelievable. And I do think, you know, that's actually a really good idea. Maybe I should celebrate this one because, you know, now that we're entering into the new years and things like that, it's a new year, new me. So maybe that may be one that I touch with my partner now and see if we can't put this one onto the table as far as a celebration, because I think that would be nice because I have been through a lot.
A
Yeah, no, I think it's a. I think it's obvious, honestly, to me, from my perspective, that it's. Even though it took years and again, it wasn't, it wasn't a perfect straight line to where you were going, but not giving up is Meaningful. And so how do you not give up? Was that you personally? Do you think that's the people around you? A mixture? I. I mean, are your parents alive, involved? Like, where are you getting your support from?
B
Yeah, so my. My father's actually passed away. He. At some point. Again, it's maybe where the fogginess comes in. At some point, he was diagnosed with type 2, but he wasn't like a big guy or anything like that. They said it was more of like stress induced, what I can recall. And then he smoked a lot of cigarettes, so he had like lung cancer. So he passed away. Oh, I'm sorry that it happens. But my mom, she lives in a different state. She lives in Mississippi, and she's just kind of doing her thing now, just living her days with her father, who is. I. I think my grandfather's like 92 years old. And I kid you not, I'm not sure what's up with this man, but he just actually stopped cutting his grass. And I mean, they live in Mississippi, a lot of it, a lot of land. He actually just stopped cutting his grass about three, four months ago now. So I can see that his health is finally starting to turn. But, you know, I'm glad that they're all getting along and stuff that I need to go visit. Yeah.
A
Is your mom moving weed in Mississippi or has she moved on to something else?
B
You'd be surprised what they do in Mississippi. You think us Floridians are crazy? The Mississippians are the ones you got to watch out for? I don't think so. I think that's a thing of the past now for her. I think now that she's. I don't know, I don't want to sound like a weird TV show, like build up an empire or anything like that. Now she's just on the second half of, like her journey or anything. But no, that was, I guess, a thing back in the 80s and when it was cool, I guess, I don't know.
A
She worked a job after that as an adult.
B
Odd jobs here and there. Nothing like huge. But yeah, a couple odd jobs here and there. Like I said, she was a CNA at times. She was. I think she takes care of some, like, older people as well, and she's getting up there in age. But. Yeah.
A
If I gave you an opportunity to tell me what the podcast has meant to you, would you. Are you able to, like, articulate it,
B
what the podcast means to me?
A
I mean, in your note, you said, I want to be. I want to be honest about how I Feel about the podcast. When you wrote that, what do you think you meant?
B
I felt a few ways about the podcast, like, so honesty is our best policy here. I thought it was absolutely crazy that somebody could record their voice and get such a following of so many people to listen into your message. And then again, after I started listening, I was like, you know, this guy actually does know what he's talking about. So I was like, you know, that's kind of cool. And, and I mean, like the community part of it, I really wanted to like make friends. I wanted some diabetes friends. Because even growing up, like I said, like my school, I mean, I'm sure everyone will eventually find me, but my school was not very large. I was one of maybe 12 African American kids into the school, so there wasn't very many of us. And there definitely wasn't any diabetics back then. So growing up, I went to like the summer camps and I was always, you know, around the diabetics. And so I was like, you know, I want friends that are like this. And then when I went to, went off to college, I was like, huh, I don't see any around me left college. I was like, ah, I rarely see them around me. So I was like, I want like just diabetes friends. And then again, like I said, we're doing this, the blog thing and stuff like that. So like, I thought it would be cool just to have some friends. And it's so weird because like, even YouTube, right? YouTube has such a weird algorithm that you can't speak about COVID on YouTube and you can't speak about diabetes. They will literally almost deep in your channel. It's the weirdest thing. Oh, goodness, my high alerts going off. What's that? 1:49. We're okay.
A
So are you telling me that in the beginning you were just like, how did somebody like make something popular about type one?
B
Yeah, that's exactly it.
A
Okay. Like you like, I can't believe that there's an appreciable number of people listening to this. So much so that he's got a popular podcast. It had nothing to do with me or anything else. Just the idea that you didn't think that could even exist.
B
Yeah, because there's been times in my life where I'm like, you know, I'm going to put two hours of like mental thoughtness into like, how I can come up with a. I don't speak numbers or like a really cool idea that's going to, you know, go on Shark Tank or something like that. And I, I Remember when podcasts were first, like, coming out and things like that? I was like, I could talk about diabetes on a podcast. I know I could. And then three years, four years later, you beat me too. And I was like, ah. At least I had the idea. But again, I applaud everything that you do for the community. I applaud it all because you're awesome at what you do. But I was like, huh? I could have done this.
A
I think it would have been cool if you tried. I would have enjoyed beating you. I am sending you home crying. No.
B
I think that's what I do to people in the bowling alleys when they see me, they're like, oh, yeah, you know, this kid, he doesn't look like a baller. And then I shoot 258 on him. And they're like, oh, I just lost 200. And I'm like, yeah, I guess I gotta go home.
A
My gosh. So do you think you and this new girl will get married ever very soon? Oh, you will? You think? Yes.
B
Oh, yeah. Oh, 100%.
A
Is the plan to have kids or is the plan. We're a little older now. We're just gonna do some different stuff.
B
She has a child. She has a teenager, actually, but she can't have any more children because she's had cervical cancer, so she can't have kids.
A
Oh, I'm sorry. You got. The three of you live together or. No, not yet.
B
We do live together, yes. Her. Her son's still in school back at our home county because again, we went to high school, like, grade school together. He's living with his father, and he's finishing up high school. That was his decision.
A
Have you ever had to be, like, a step parent?
B
Not so much. Every once in a while, like, I will throw in my two cents, but, you know, coming into a teenager's life, you know, especially one that's like, 16. Yeah, it's. It's difficult, you know, it's. It's difficult just to step into someone's life like that. So, I mean, every once in a while, I'll throw my two cents in. I don't mind that. But, you know, kind of stay out
A
of it a little bit. Unless somebody asks you.
B
Yeah, exactly.
A
Do you have any brothers or sisters?
B
Yeah, I have two sisters. They're both in New York still, but I have two sisters. And again, I'm not very into, like, the family thing per se, but, yeah, I mean, I still talk to him on Facebook once in a while, but I kind of just do my own Thing, I'm kind of my own lone wolf.
A
Do you know if they have any autoimmune issues or do you have any beyond type 1?
B
Was it hypertension, high blood pressure? No. Celiac? My sisters? No, they don't really have too much. Maybe a couple of, like, mental health issues. But again, if you were raised in the lifestyle that we were raised, I think mental health is something that we have to go through. But, yeah, no, I don't think that they have very much. I know, like I said, my. My father was diagnosed diabetic at some point in his time, and I know my grandmother on my mom's side was type 2 as well, but I think I got the lucky straw there.
A
Do you have any other medical issues that are not, you know, related to diabetes?
B
I think I'm a little crazy.
A
What kind of crazy are you?
B
Yeah, level four. You know, I'm up there, you know, living in Florida. I hear all the. All the Florida jokes. You know, a couple of podcasts that I've. I've heard in. In your past as well, where you drop those little Florida jokes and things like that. I'm like, yes, that is the ideal Florida situation. I don't. I don't think I have too much other health concerns going on, just mostly, like, the diabetes things with, like, the eyes. Yeah, I don't. I don't. Yeah.
A
Are you being serious about the mental health stuff, or were you joking for yourself?
B
I think it was more of a joke. I mean, I do believe that I have a little bit of a. I'm sure I could talk to a therapist more about the way that I feel about things, but, I mean, it's more of a. I wouldn't say like a joke, but it is like a joke, you know, something that you can laugh off but still know that there's an underlying tone there somewhere.
A
Are you seeing a therapist now? Just not frequently.
B
Not currently, no. Yeah. The last time I actually saw my therapist was probably 2020.
A
What were you talking about when you, like, what led you to. To seek therapy out at that point?
B
I believe what led me to find a therapist was I was trying to get my diabetes under control, and I was still, like, resenting it myself. So I was like, why am I feeling like I want to do it, but I don't want to do it? And then again, 2020, with everything that was going on in the world. And again, I Clear as they remember, like on the news, if you're African American, if you have high blood pressure, if you have type 1 diabetes, stay your ass inside. And I was like, huh? I meet all those requirements, so I think I need to go talk to somebody. Like, I thought I was in jeopardy
A
of, like, you know, this thing was coming for you directly.
B
Yeah, I thought either that or there was going to be like a little alien that was going to come out of the sky and he's like, oh, yeah, you meet these requirements. We're taking you. And I was like, I don't know how I can deal with that. Yeah, I think that's when I first started the therapy thing.
A
Rahim, if I told you that, like, almost every one of your answers starts with I believe or I think or maybe is that something you. You're aware of about yourself? Like, you. You have not answered one question definitively. It's always been like, my best recollection. I don't remember that time or anything like that. Like, is that pretty common for you throughout your life or is that for. Just in this conversation you feel pinned down on details?
B
No, it's pretty common. Honestly. It is pretty common. So, like, when I used to work for Universal and I used to do a lot of, like, phone sales and things like that, and they always would teach us, like, yes, you have to know the answer. But it's always like, you suspect. You know, it's like, I'm not sure. So it's always. That's just always a thing that I've. I put into my brain because I can never be, like, incorrect about anything as opposed to being like, oh, I did this on September 19, you know, 2017. I can be like, I think it was around this time.
A
Keep it vague so that you're not wrong ever.
B
Exactly. So then, you know, you just get the gist of the story. I got you.
A
It's something that's really. What would you want people. I mean, you've had this very unique experience, right? You're diagnosed young, you've got high blood sugars for pretty big part of your life. I'd probably say 20 more. Maybe more than 20 years more. 20, 25 years. Right. Living with higher blood sugars, not a lot of support from your family, and, you know, going through, not wanting to be involved with diabetes, wishing you didn't have it, ignoring it, having high blood sugar, so you're not really able to make great decisions to begin with. And, you know, you find your way through it, you know, luckily, and then you stick to that path once you. Once it's in front of you and you see it, is there messaging for other people in your situation. Because, you know, a lot of people listen to this podcast, are just going to hear your story and be like, that's insane. You know what I mean? Like, because they didn't go through what you went through, but there are also far more people living your life than I think others would imagine. So, I mean, is there a message, you know, from the past through you and your experience that would be valuable for those people?
B
Yeah. The biggest thing that I could tell anybody is just keep fighting. Like, you're going to have some bad days. You're going to feel like absolute crap some days, but if you just keep fighting, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Because, again, I'm one that's definitely gone through all the highs and lows, all the trials and tribulation. Not all of them, but a good majority of them. Right. I've seen quite a bit in my time on this planet. Like, it's. It's definitely just one that you just got to keep pushing through. You know, there's even been. There's even been stories, and I'm sure not very many people are going to be able to tell you this one. I got kicked out of diabetes camp.
A
Wait a minute. As a kid.
B
As a kid, I got kicked out of a diabetes camp? Yeah.
A
How old do you think you are?
B
It had to be, like, very early diabetes. Let's see. It had to be before. I would probably say 2000. Probably 2000.
A
Were you selling crack? What happened?
B
Hey, listen. Hey. He. He didn't have the money, okay? So he got the product, and then, you know, he. So things just had to be done. That's. I'm joking. I think this kind of stems where my mental health, things, like, started, and I realized that it was a problem. But I remember, like, there was this. There's this kid, he was picking on me, and I just didn't understand it. Like, you know, I told the counselors, I told the supervisors or whoever it was. I was like, yo, I don't know what this kid's problem is. I don't know if it's because I'm faster than him, because I was very competitive. That's one thing that, like, people will know about me. I'd love to win in sports. And I was just dusting this kid. That's just facts of the matter. And then one day, he was like, hey, I'm going to hit you. And I was like, dude, I don't think that's going to be a good idea. And I still remember, you know, the day that my dad told me, he's like, hey, man, if anyone hits you first, wail on him. I'm not saying that anyone should do that. If I had kids, I would never support that. But I was like, hey, man, I was like, if you hit me, I was like, I don't think you're going to be in a good shape afterwards. So he swung, missed swung the second time, hit me, maybe in my shoulder, and all hell broke loose again. That's when I knew I was, like, seeing red. And I was just this poor kid. I mean, I felt bad for him in the moment. I even had, like, this moment. I had, like this whole out of body moment, like, I was floating above the camp and I was like, raheem, you should really stop. He's like, man, but that was a good right hook. Maybe he just takes one more. That's fine. So, yeah, they ultimately had to call my parents and come pick me up from diabetes camp because kid wanted to talk stuff.
A
Do you think that your blood sugars were so out of whack at that point that you had a difficult time, like, as you've described, Right? Like, people saying things and you hearing something different? Do you think you were actually having a problem with that kid, or do you think that you were having a problem hearing him?
B
No, I think I was having a problem with this kid because, you know, at the diabetes camps, again, this is before the Dexcom. The Omni. Whoa. Omni. Dexcoms may have been a thing then, but not prevalent, but at the camp, they. They really had our blood sugars in test. Even though I wasn't all about the testing. If they wanted to test like five times a day, I was like, okay, cool. Prick the finger. Let's keep going. Like, whatever. I know my blood sugars were in great shape because, you know, I knew how to do the log books, all that good stuff. I knew that that was perfectly fine. He was just talking way too much smack and he found out.
A
Rahim, I don't know what to say about you.
B
I felt bad because.
A
No, no, not about this. You perplexed me in general. I feel like I'm telling you a
B
good story after this one, man.
A
Give me a second. I'm of two minds on you, okay? There's part of me that thinks this is a. A great explanation of why you want your blood sugars lower and stable and why you want to stay on top of your diabetes, because look at all the confusion it can cause in your life, right? And I mean, like, aside of health, like physical health, Stuff I'm talking a lot about just clarity, you know, understanding the world around you, interacting with people as things are like that stuff. I mean, it's been really impactful on you. And then there's half of me that like, there's. And I know this isn't the case because you've been around this whole thing for so long. Right. But there's half of me that thinks that there's some people listening right now that are just like, this guy's full of. And like he's making this up because sometimes your timelines are off and stuff like that. And. But I don't think that's what's happening. Like, I don't think you're on here just spinning a tail. Like, I think this is your best recollection of how, how your life has gone. Can you. I'm right, right on the second part.
B
Oh, you're spot on. Absolutely. I couldn't, I couldn't deny that. 100. Because if someone were to tell me this exact same story, I'd go home and I'd be like, that dude is just full of crap. Like, there's. There's just no possible way. But then when I say I lived it, I believe it. This is my story or what I remember of it. This is what it is.
A
So then help me understand that in the last handful of years when your. Your A1, since C has been more like 6 and your variability, I'm assuming is much, much less. Right. You're not bouncing to 4 or 500 anymore and stuff like that?
B
Yeah, no, not at all.
A
So if I would have just asked you questions about the last 24 months, would you have sounded different?
B
Oh, 100%. It would probably been very boring. And no, no high points, no low points.
A
It would have been a very no crime. And you would have. And you would have remembered like moments more clearly.
B
Yeah. Oh, 100.
A
And that's something. I think that what happened to you and the way you're recounting it right now, I don't believe we pay close enough attention to as a society as, you know, when doctors like, you know what I mean? Like, you, I think about like, I think about you with like out of control blood sugar, super high blood sugars. For a long time, you know, people are talking to you, you're not even hearing what they're saying. And then a doctor looks at you one day and makes a decision like, this guy's not taking care of himself. So I'm just going to ask him about his feet when he Comes in, and you know what? If he pushes back, screw him. Here's your script. Don't die. Good luck. But, like, no one's addressing the fact that you're not in the right headspace, the right state of mind, that you're. That your body chemistry is not such that you're in a position to even hear what's being said to you. And that's still ignoring all of the very real human feelings you have about being diagnosed with something that is a lifelong illness. So it just feels on. It just feels unfair. And I wish there was a mechanism in place that could help. But then, you know, the other side of that, of course, is I'm going to talk myself right out of it. But the other side of that, of course, is that you're a human being in the United States of America, and no one's got the right to pin you down and make you do something. But if you were out of your mind, right, the government, the local municipality can put you on a hold and try to get you stabilized again. And I'm not calling for, you know, people with diabetes who have wildly high blood sugars to be, you know, put on a hold, but they're in there. There is some sort of a. There's a problem in there that doesn't have an answer because we have you and your autonomy, and then we have mixed in with it. Your blood sugars are super high and your inability to reason with yourself, because. So then my question is, now you today, do you wish somebody would have taken control of you back then and gotten your blood sugars down and stable so you would have been able to understand what was going on better? Or are you happy with the way this played out?
B
I'm actually quite happy with the way things played out. Like, again, just all the trials and tribulations that I've gone through, I feel that it's just really given me reason to keep fighting to see those bad days, to understand that they're a thing of the past and that we can move forward from. Because, you know. Have you used my name at all?
A
I mean, I think I've said your name a couple times.
B
Yeah. Okay. So again, I don't like pulling up these cards. Parse. But as we all know, what happened in 2001 and September, you know, if you're in seventh grade and you go to school the next day, and those kids are like, hey, your name's Raheem. We don't like you anymore because of what happened after that. That took a huge mental effect on me, even as a seventh grader, like, I didn't understand what was going on. I could even take you back kind of to that day when it was all happening. I remember the low blood sugar that was happening again. It may be a little off a little bit, but I can remember that low blood sugar. I can remember I was in the hospital at the time the hospital was being shut down. And again, maybe it's the Truman show that's always watching me. I don't know. But I just like the Dare Pro. The Dare Project. When I was in kindergarten, after the 2001 incident happened, there was a lot of agents that were questioning me. And again, I lived in the hospital, so the hospital shut down, but all these agents wanted to come talk to me. There was other people of color, I guess is the best way I could say that, that were there no questions asked. But why they want to question me so much? So I think over time, like, I was just always in a weird spot. Like, I was always, like, on edge. And then 2020 hit, and I was like, oh, man. No one came and talked to me then, you know, they probably gave up on me. They were like, oh, we got the wrong guy. Keep going. But, yeah, I was like, this is just so weird how. How all these weird things are happening, and, like, it feels like it's all circled around me. Is it? No, not at all. But, yeah. Would I change any of it? Absolutely not. I don't want to have that normal lifestyle. I think that that's kind of strange. I want to have a story to, I guess, tell my girlfriend's kid, because I don't want to have my own children. But, yeah, I think that that's cool to be able to share stories like
A
that and over things that I'm glad to share. I'm glad you were able to share that. So just for context for people, you're a black man, but you're Muslim?
B
I'm not Muslim. My father practiced the belief, and I just landed on that name.
A
Okay, okay. So you're even your dad. Your dad wasn't Muslim. He just kind of leaned into it? Is that what you're telling me?
B
Yeah, he was kind of leaning into it, and I don't mind dropping this one. His name's Robert. My mom's name is Deborah. And then they landed on Raheem for me, and I was like, what the hell were y' all smoking?
A
Bob and Debbie got together and decided on Raheem.
B
Did they? I was like, man, you guys must have been smoking that weird Like, Middle Eastern opium stuff or something. I don't know. But how this. How did you two individuals land on this one? Whatever.
A
Bob and Debbie's little boy, Raheem. That's really funny. Yeah, that's awesome. Well, okay, so you're not disappointed with your journey, then?
B
No, not at all. I am a little bit disappointed with my journey because again, after I got kicked out of that. That diabetes camp, it was probably two, three years ago, I was going to go apply to be a camp counselor because I was like, that was so long ago. Maybe they, like, forgot about it because of my anxiety or whatever it was. I never actually put the application in, but I was like, you know, that would be kind of cool to be a camp counselor, because I know some of these kids may be in kind of the same. What do you call it? The same situation. Upbringing that I was in. So maybe I could help somebody out or maybe I could, you know, teach a kid how to throw a bowling ball like I do, because I'm really good at that. I circle back to that quite often.
A
Hey, we didn't talk about this, but you just brought up anxiety a little bit. There are only a handful of people who have taken as much time as it's taken you to record. You've been, like, off and on. The idea that you were gonna. You were gonna be on the podcast. I. I mean, I'm guessing now, because I don't. Listen, I. I don't remember exactly, but I mean, if you and I been at this for a couple of years now.
B
Yeah, it's definitely been years. Oh, yeah. Because I get. I get these really high points where I'm like, oh, I can do it. I can conquer the world. I'm gonna message this guy. I'm gonna do it. And then the next week, I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't think this is gonna be good. I don't want people to hear this story. Like, I don't know what I'm gonna talk about. So then I just go ghost for a little while. And then again, I'd have that high point coming again. Oh, I can do this. I can do this. I know I can talk to them. I can talk about this. I can talk about that. Two weeks later, I'm like, I probably shouldn't.
A
Yeah, I should tell people that when I sat down this morning and flipped this on. So I open up a file that, you know, I'm going to record your. My voice into in a piece of software. So I get that open, I name it for you. I get it saved, I get it ready to go. I open up Zoom, which is what I use to connect for the audio. And even if you're in the waiting room, it takes about 30 to 40 seconds for Zoom to, like, deliver you to me, where I can hit admit, right, and let the person in. And in that time, what I normally do is, like, I'll answer an email or I'll, like, you know, get my stuff together or whatever I'm doing, clear off my desk, get my drinking. But with you, I click that button and I stared at that screen because I thought, it's a coin flip if he's here or not. I would not have been surprised if it just never gave me the opportunity to admit somebody because you weren't there. And when you were there, I thought, good for you, man. And then I clicked the button because I really didn't. I wasn't sure you were going to be here or not.
B
Yeah. And I do know I have a little bit of, like, I chime into the Facebook group every once in a while when I'm on those high points, and then, like, I see the messages and I see the notifications going off, and, like, that really puts me onto that high level. And I'm like, wow, people are actually responsive to me. Like, they will respond. So, like, I was just, you know, my girlfriend is kind of who talked me into it. She was like, look, you've already signed up for it. Like, you have to do it. And truth be told, I remember if you look at the first email. Let me see. I think you said in the email, you're like, I have October available. And I was like, no, I'm not doing that. I'm going to set mine for January because I need time to get my, like, stress levels under control. So I was like, I'm not doing October because that's only in, like, two weeks. Like, that. That doesn't work for me.
A
I. Listen, I'm proud of you. I think this is awesome that you. That you followed through and you did it. I mean, you were terrific. Like, do you feel good about what we did? I mean, we're done, but, like, do you feel good about it?
B
I feel really good about it. If I could tell you one last thing, and this is going to be about Miss Jenny Smith.
A
Oh, about Jenny. Okay.
B
Yeah. I don't know if she's going to recall or not. I don't know if she listens to all the episodes either. I don't know when it was when he came to Orlando. I just want to paint this little picture if you guys, you know, come to the. The Touch by Type one. I did a little bit of work with Touch by Type one and the other organization that's in Orlando as well. They're really cool people. They. They host the best events. They really do. But we were at Rosen. No, not Rose and Shingle Creek, which was the other one that you did at the Disney property.
A
They bounce around. Couple different ones. I'm not sure which one it would have been.
B
Either way, you're at the Disney property. It's like, probably the first time that we met, and I still remember, I was just getting off of work. I don't know if you recall the picture. I was in my suit, blue suit, nice red tie, looking fresh. You know, I remember sitting down with this kid, this random worker at the lunch table, because, you know, you guys are feeding us, and I'm just asking this kid questions. Hey, how long you been working here? How long you been doing this? He stops me right then. He's like, my man. He's like, how much money do you make? And I'm like, what are you talking about? I was like, I probably don't make much more money than you. He's like, dude. He's like, you're so, you know, looking all dapper and looking all fresh. He's like, you easily make 150, $200,000 a year. I was like, man, I work for Universal. Like, we're in the same pool here, all right? He was like, wow, I never would have thought that. Cool. He goes about his business. Whatever. So I'm sitting at the big circle table all by myself, having a great time, right? I hear this lady talking to me. She's like, oh, do you mind if me and my family sitting with you? And I was like, yeah, yeah, come on, sit down. Have fun. I'm not sure if she was just trying to be a marketer or if she just saw how dressed up I was, but that was the first time I met Jenny because I was kind of late getting to the conference because I had to work. So she's like, oh. She's like, you know, she's just striking up all these conversations, and I'm like, wait a minute. I was like, I recognize your voice. And she's like, I'm Jenny. Jenny Smith. And I was like, get the heck out of here. I was like, you know, you're always on the podcast and stuff like that. I was like, I'm a huge listener. I love Jenny Tadesh. The way she can articulate her words, absolutely amazing. But I swear in that moment, I think she saw something in me that she was like, this kid's not high profile at all. I don't think he's going to be able to. I don't know if they take like donations or whatever it was, but then the whole conversation shift. It was just the coolest thing. You could see it all in her face. I think I ended up helping her. Getting her express passes for univers or.
A
Yeah, well, I will tell you this. Jenny doesn't have anything to do with the actual organization. I can't imagine that she would have been trying to get a donation from you. Like, that's not a thing she does. But the rest of it sounds nice. I. She definitely would not be hitting you up for a donation. Are you sure it was her for sure? Not like somebody from the org?
B
Oh, 100%. Yeah. She gave me her business card and I did like text her because I helped her out with like express passes or whatever it was. But yeah, definitely I have the business card somewhere floating around.
A
Well, listen, trust me, she wasn't trying to get a donation from you. She's just there doing a job like everybody else.
B
100% talk.
A
Yeah.
B
And I didn't, you know, again, I listened to a few episodes here and there and I know she's talking about the boys and things like that. And like as I'm eating, I'm just, you know, scrolling on Tick Tock or Facebook, whatever it was. And again, in my head, in my perspective, you could just see like this. This change in her. And again, that's not probably what happened. That's just the way I saw it per se. But I. That was probably just one of the most funniest things I'd ever seen in my life. Especially because like, my girlfriend, again, she's a nurse and sometimes she does have to, I guess, like sell a product or whatever, but she's a nurse, so she's like, I can take care of people. I may not be able to sell something far. Say so then, like, you know, now that I look back onto it, I'm like, I wonder what Jenny Smith was doing back then. I know that wasn't the case. I know that.
A
But yeah, you would surprise me. Kenny's not a salesperson, that's for sure.
B
Anyway, I was probably just sitting by myself and every other table was full, so she was like, I need to
A
play with this kid or I'm about
B
to sit on the floor.
A
Oh, maybe she liked your suit.
B
Yeah.
A
All right, Raheem, this was really lovely. I, I'm, I'm very happy for you that things are going in a different direction, and I'm very pleased that you were able to actually come on today and share and answer questions and make your story a part of the podcast. So thank you very much for your time. I can't thank you enough, actually.
B
You are very welcome. And then next time, we'll see how we're going with the wedding plans and we'll have our next update. Absolutely. It's been a pleasure.
A
Good for you. Hold on one second for me. I will. Let me talk to you after I hit stop. The conversation you just enjoyed was brought to you by US MED usmed.com juicebox or call 888-721-1514. Get started today and get your supplies from US MED. A huge thanks to my longest sponsor, Omnipod. Check out the Omnipod 5 now with my link omnipod.com juicebox you may be eligible for a free starter kit, a free Omnipod 5 starter kit at my link. Go check it out. Omnipod.com Juicebox terms and conditions apply. Full terms and conditions can be found@ omnipod.com juicebox hey, do you need support? I have some stuff for you. It's all free. Juiceboxpodcast.com Click on support in the menu. Let's see what you get there. A1C and blood glucose calculator pull. People love that. That's actually, I think, the most popular page on the website some months. A list of great endocrinologists from listeners that's from all over the country. There's a link to the private Facebook group, to the Circle community. And we have a fantastic thing there, American Sign Language. There's a great sign language interpreter who did the entire Bold Beginning series in asl. So if you know anybody who would benefit from that, please send them that way. Just go to juiceboxpodcast.com and click on support. While you're there, check out the guides, like the pre bolusing guide, Fat and protein, Insulin calculator. Oh, gosh. Thyroid GLP caregiver burnout. You should go to the website. Click around a little bit on those menus. It really. There's a lot more there than you think. Hey, kids, listen up. You've made it to the end of the podcast. You must have enjoyed it. You know what else you might enjoy? The private Facebook group for the Juice Box podcast. I know you're thinking, oh, Facebook, Scott Please. But no. Beautiful group, wonderful people, a fantastic community. Juice box podcast type 1 diabetes on Facebook of course, if you have type 2, are you touched by diabetes in any way? You're absolutely welcome. It's a private group, so you'll have to answer a couple of questions before you come in. We make sure you're not a bot or an evildoer, then you're on your way. You'll be part of the family. How would you like to share a type 1 diabetes getaway like no other? Join me on Juice Cruise 2026. You may be asking what is Juice Cruise? It's a week long cruise designed specifically for people and families living with type 1 diabetes. It's not just a vacation, it's a chance to relax, connect and feel understood in a way that is hard to find elsewhere. We're going to sail out of Miami and the cruise includes stops in Cococay, San Juan, St. Kitts and Nevis aboard the stunning Celebrity Beyond. This ship is chosen for its comfort, accessibility and exceptional amenities. You're going to enjoy a welcoming environment surrounded by others who get life with type 1 diabetes. I'm going to host diabetes focused conversations and meetups on the days at sea. There's thoughtfully designed spaces, incredible dining and modern amenities all throughout the Celebrity Beyond. Your kids can be supervised and there's teen programs so everyone gets time to recharge, not just the kids going on vacation. But maybe you get to kick back a little bit too. There's going to be zero judgment, real connections and a whole lot of sun and fun on Juice Cruise 2026. Please come with me. You're going to have a terrific time. You can learn more or set up your deposit@juiceboxpodcast.com juice juice cruise get a hold of Suzanne at Cruise Planners. She will take care of everything. Links in the show Notes links@juicebox podcast.com have a podcast. Want it to sound fantastic? Wrong Way recording dot com.
Episode #1808: After Dark - Brain Fog
Host: Scott Benner
Guest: Raheem
Release Date: March 26, 2026
This intimate, candid "After Dark" episode features Raheem, a long-time listener and type 1 diabetic, sharing his complex journey through diabetes mismanagement, family instability, mental health struggles, and ultimately, growth. The discussion centers on the concept of "brain fog" related to prolonged high blood sugar, the effects on memory, cognition, and daily functioning, and how sustained periods of hyperglycemia shaped Raheem's life story. The tone is authentic, warm, and peppered with humor as Raheem and Scott delve into serious and sometimes dark territory with honesty and hope.
Diagnosis Uncertainty ([03:10])
Raheem isn’t sure exactly when he was diagnosed with type 1—memories are blurry due to what he calls “childhood trauma” and early diabetes mismanagement. He thinks it was around 5th–7th grade, late-1990s.
First Memories & Family Dynamics ([04:50])
Raheem’s mother, a CNA, spotted diabetes signs around Thanksgiving when he preferred Sprite over the big holiday meal and kept needing the bathroom. Family history included a grandmother with diabetes, but support after diagnosis was patchy.
Early Independence with Insulin ([07:07])
Initially, Raheem handled his own shots, even practicing on teddy bears and his father. However, after a traumatic experience with a bent needle, he soon deferred to his mom for injections.
High Blood Sugars and Lack of Oversight ([09:40])
From early on, Raheem’s blood sugars often stayed in the 400–500s. He describes periods of not testing and depressed indifference:
“I was just getting overwhelmed with it from it never going away… I was like, does this thing ever take a break?” ([09:59])
Family 'Hustling' ([13:05])
Raheem’s parents were largely absent due to their involvement in illegal drug sales—a fact he learned more about growing up.
“They definitely had to make sure that there was food on the table… so yes, they made sure that the house was taken care of. Any means that they needed to.” ([13:33])
Coping and Survival ([16:17])
Stories of being left at the zoo by a teacher (a family client), visits from DARE officers, and advice from his mom not to "know anything" if questioned reveal layers of instability and stress, affecting self-care and memory.
Formative Brain Fog and Memory Gaps ([40:01])
High, unmanaged blood sugars over years contributed to a pervasive brain fog that interfered with cognition, memory, and even basic conversational tracking:
“You asked me a question, and it would just dilute in my brain… now I actually feel like I can handle a conversation…” ([39:00])
“There’s even been times where she’s recorded me… and I’m like, that’s not what she said at all, is it? What did I hear?” ([40:52])
Signs of Cognitive Restoration ([41:10])
With better blood sugar management, Raheem feels present, engaged, and more articulate:
“Very rarely…I would say now, but you don’t think when it happens it’s not coming from high blood sugars?... I can feel it starting to rise…when I do feel the spikes coming, I can feel the fogginess come a little bit.” ([41:10])
Runaway Hyperglycemia and Depression ([23:33])
Raheem openly discusses the overlap of depression with diabetes burnout, referencing his own self-neglect:
“I knew how. I just didn’t want to.” ([24:16])
Dangerous Apathy and Missing Milestones ([26:37])
The self-destructive loop persisted for years: “I’ll pull it together next month… How come next month came and you were like, maybe next month?... probably just smoking weed. And then I forgot because I got high.” ([26:48])
First Turning Point—Relationships & Fear of Complications ([27:21])
Meeting a supportive partner motivated Raheem to begin self-care, especially once vision issues (retinopathy) appeared, and professional warnings about long-term consequences, like sexual health, hit home.
Long, Nonlinear Recovery ([30:32])
Even after recognizing the need for better care ("I don’t want to go blind") the path to stability was slow, with setbacks, breakups, and continued struggle.
“It was a slow matriculation into a different lifestyle. Doesn’t happen overnight. Right. Like, you have to kind of get into it slowly.” ([31:32])
New Relationship & Current Wellness ([38:12], [39:00])
Now, with a nurse girlfriend, Raheem feels coherent and stable, with an A1C around 6.1.
“I’m more coherent now. I’m actually, like, people can talk to me, and I can respond. Where before...it would just dilute in my brain.” ([39:00])
Cognitive and Emotional Clarity ([40:01])
He describes a return of presence, memory, and conversational ability, further supported by creative endeavors like a bowling YouTube channel.
“Your mental capacity is just gonna go through the roof… I can be present.” ([39:00])
Self-Compassion Over Regret ([34:34], [35:26])
Regret over “wasting years” is replaced with resolve to “just try a little bit better today.” ([35:26])
Importance of Peer Community ([46:14])
The Juicebox Podcast community and Facebook group were pivotal:
“I wanted some diabetes friends… there definitely wasn’t any diabetics back then… [the community] is awesome support.” ([46:14])
Cultural and Psychological Barriers ([53:44])
Raheem notes his tendency to be vague—trauma, high blood sugars, and a need to avoid being “wrong” contribute to an overall uncertainty in self-reports.
Message to Others ([55:28])
Raheem’s core advice:
“The biggest thing that I could tell anybody is just keep fighting. Like, you’re going to have some bad days. You’re going to feel like absolute crap some days, but if you just keep fighting, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.” ([55:28])
On Childhood Trauma and Memory:
“I don’t really know what happened for 20 years of my life… I wasn’t taking care of myself, so…memory fog…piecing some of the stories together.” ([03:47])
On Parental Support & Responsibility:
“As a family, we definitely all gathered around the diabetes, but it was more a thing that they told me it was my autoimmune disease…because as an adult…they may not be around…” ([08:32])
On Depression and Apathy:
“Did you believe it [that not caring would lead to complications]?”
“Yeah, I just didn’t care. I didn’t want to be diabetic anymore.” ([23:33])
On the Impact of Brain Fog:
“You asked me a question, and it would just dilute in my brain…now I actually feel like I can handle a conversation…” ([39:00])
On Transformation:
“I wish if there was ever a time machine… I would go back and just absolutely slap the—you know what—out of myself…” ([34:34])
On Support & Perseverance:
“Because it was not—it's not linear. Like, I made a decision to do better and then better just happened and now here I am. Or… I listened to the Pro Tip series and three months later I understood how to bolus, and now I’m good. This is more…fits and starts…” ([43:06])
Scott and Raheem highlight the stark reality that long-term uncontrolled blood sugars not only cause physical complications but can cloud judgment, suppress memory, and alter one’s capacity for self-advocacy and connection. Raheem’s story is a testament to the resilience required to climb back from years of burnout and alienation—his message is one of hope for those lost in the fog. The episode closes on a positive note, with acknowledgment of support systems, new beginnings, and the freedom found on the other side of brain fog.
For more resources, peer support, or to connect with the Juicebox Community, visit: JuiceboxPodcast.com.