Julian Dorey Podcast #360

Dodging Harvey Weinstein, Alec Baldwin & INSANE Husband “Hostage Taker”

Guest: Sarma Melngailis
Date: Nov 30, 2025
Timestamps included in MM:SS format

Episode Overview

Julian Dorey hosts Sarma Melngailis, the famed former NYC restaurateur, entrepreneur behind Pure Food and Wine and One Lucky Duck, and the subject of Netflix's "Bad Vegan." This in-depth conversation explores Sarma’s formative years, her career in the food industry, and intimate details about her experience being psychologically and financially manipulated by Anthony Strangis (a.k.a. “Shane Fox” or “Shanthony”). The talk delves into cult-like coercive dynamics, brushes with celebrities like Alec Baldwin and Harvey Weinstein, the unraveling of her businesses, her psychological journey, and her efforts to make sense of—and recover from—her extraordinary story.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Sarma’s Background and Entry into NYC Dining

• Formative Years & Culinary School:

  • Sarma attended the six-month French Culinary Institute program in NYC, not a full two-year culinary degree ([03:54]).
  • Her mother was a chef, so she absorbed culinary skills early ([03:54], [04:31]).

• Career Development:

  • Initially worked with Matthew Kenney, her favorite NYC chef and eventual boyfriend ([05:28]).
  • Their relationship led to her co-authoring a cookbook and getting financially involved in his restaurant ventures ([07:43]).

The First Toxic Relationship: Matthew Kenney

• Financial Entanglement & Red Flags:

  • Sarma covered significant debts for Matthew when his restaurants collapsed post-9/11, amassing hundreds of thousands in debt herself ([06:55], [33:44]).
  • She describes him as charismatic but ultimately reckless with money, comparing her experience to being “under a spell” ([07:13], [07:43], [34:56]).
  • "Any normal healthy person would never take all their girlfriend's money... you know, nobody would do that, but he did." – Sarma ([43:04])

• Raw Vegan Origins:

  • Raw veganism entered her life after a transformative meal and became the central concept for Pure Food and Wine ([10:01]-[12:14]).

Eating Disorders & Relationship with Food

• Struggles with Bulimia:

  • Sarma opens up about high school eating disorders and their tie to performances and standards ([15:18]-[18:54]).
  • “I wrote a bit in the end of that book about struggling with having had an eating disorder. And I also think that it's very common with people who get into eating really, really healthy food. It's a way of almost addressing that disorder.” – Sarma ([17:03])

• Shift to Health-Oriented Eating:

  • Recovery for her involved shifting the focus from body image to nutrition and wellbeing ([18:54]).

Financial Fallout and Brushes With the Powerful

• 9/11 Firsthand:

  • Sarma witnessed the second plane hit from her nearby apartment, recounting the shock and aftermath in vivid, personal detail ([22:56]-[27:14]).
  • “...people were not running. It was like zombies. They were just shoveling, covered in dust... clearly all in a state of shock.” – Sarma ([26:41])

• Sued by Donald Trump:

  • After her financial losses with Matthew, she was sued by Trump, her landlord, for unpaid rent ([35:21]).
  • "Tina Brown once said, 'You're nobody in the city unless you've been sued by Donald Trump.' And I'm like, I've been sued by Donald Trump." – Sarma ([35:30])

• Almost Meeting Harvey Weinstein:

  • A chance, brief street encounter narrowly avoided a now-infamous predatory scenario ([36:21]-[40:43]):
    • “...he said, ‘Are you an actress? Do you want to be?’ And I said, no.” ([37:52])
    • “Years later I remember thinking... I could have been in that situation... and then, yeah, I mean, I can see how that stuff happens.” – Sarma ([40:03])

Pure Food & Wine, One Lucky Duck, and Relationships

• Ownership Transitions:
  • Post-breakup, Sarma stayed on as owner/face of Pure Food and Wine, investing herself deeply into the business ([49:28]-[50:04]).
• Perpetual Debt:
  • Despite success, the business struggled with cash flow post-2008 crash and expansion efforts; Sarma could never escape the debt from the Matthew era ([53:32]-[54:56]).
• Relationship Patterns:
  • Discusses dating “Tobin,” heartbreak, and patterns of seeking relationships with built-in expiration dates ([67:53]-[71:23]).
  • “It’s common with people with certain personality characteristics of mine... you end up attracted to relationships that, you know, people that aren’t necessarily available...” – Sarma ([68:18])

Alec Baldwin, “Mr. Fox,” and the Path to Catastrophe

• Alec Baldwin Connection:

  • Sarma knew Alec through the restaurant circuit, had a brief friendship, and credits him with setting off a butterfly effect that led to meeting “Mr. Fox” (Anthony Strangis) via Twitter ([57:27]-[63:14]).

• Leon the Dog:

  • Her bond with her rescue dog, Leon (named after the movie “The Professional”), would later become a psychological lever for manipulation ([61:15]-[62:33]).

The Anthony Strangis/Shane Fox/“Shanthony” Saga

Grooming, Manipulation, and Cult Psychology

• Initial Engagement:

  • Met “Shane Fox” on Twitter through Alec Baldwin. He was mysterious, intriguing, and slowly reeled her in with vague stories about his identity and career ([76:48]-[84:09]).
  • Sarma reflects on how she openly blogged her vulnerabilities, unknowingly handing all the “data” needed for a manipulator to target her ([74:37], [77:16]-[78:47], [91:20]).
  • "He got me attached to basically knowing what my biggest hopes and dreams were... So he's not consciously so much to me, but he's kind of presented himself as the road to me achieving everything I want." – Sarma ([93:38])

• Psychological Control and Financial Abuse:

  • He gradually borrowed money, never repaid it, and capitalized on her hopes of rescuing the business ([99:39]-[100:28]).
  • Kept her mentally off balance with word salad, conflicting stories, and promises. The more stressed and afraid she became, the more vulnerable to “delusional thinking” ([98:52]-[99:32]).

• Escalating Isolation:

  • Sarma cut herself off from friends, hid her marriage, and allowed herself to be isolated while Strangis infiltrated her business and family ([109:10]-[110:25]).
  • He also systematically targeted her mother, extracting nearly $400,000 ([110:48]-[112:17]).

Cult-Like Breakdown and Disassociation

• Dissociative State:

  • Describes going “on the run” with Anthony, losing touch with reality, and being reduced to a “child-like, zombie” state ([133:51]-[135:38]).
  • “When he drove me away... I was screaming my head off in the car... At some point, I exhausted myself... and, as dissociated as I already was, that was like, next level. Like, I am now no longer here. I might. I'm, like, in a partial coma or something.” – Sarma ([133:51])

• Restaurant Collapse and Legal Crisis:

  • As she withdrew from operations, staff stopped getting paid, and confusion/anger mounted.
  • "[The staff] couldn't make sense of what really happened, but they knew something really horrible had happened." ([126:15])

• FBI Arrest – “The Domino’s Pizza Capture”:

  • Sarma was arrested in Tennessee after Anthony ordered Domino's pizza, which police used to track them ([138:53], [146:02]).
  • The arrest and “pizza” narrative became headline fodder, exacerbating public misunderstanding ([147:01]).
  • “I didn't even know, so I didn't know that he had ordered a vegan lady ordering Domino's... I found out about the pizza ... through another woman in the Tennessee jail...” ([146:02])

• Reflecting on Justice:

  • Despite a mountain of evidence she was Strangis’s victim—her journals, staff support, clear patterns of fraud—the prosecution still sought prison time for her ([168:35]-[169:48]).
  • “The prosecution was still pushing for one to three years for me and him, like the same sentence for me and him, as if we're both culpable equally.” ([168:35])
  • Judge acknowledged her good faith in running her business, which softened the blow ([153:14]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Falling Under the Spell:
  • "People will say this all the time. You know, it's like they were under a spell. And I think that was the case with me." – Sarma ([00:26])
• On the Psychological Toll:
  • “The more stressed and afraid a human or animal gets, the more prone you are to delusional thinking.” – Sarma, quoting Andrew Huberman ([98:52])
• On Learning for the Future:
  • “It's a really good case for why everybody should be doing as much self examination as possible... what is it that you might be susceptible to?” ([91:20])
• On the Harvey Weinstein Encounter:
  • “He saw me and he put the phone down and said, hi... he said, 'Are you an actress?' ... 'Do you want to be?' ... and I said, no.” – Sarma ([37:52])
• On Disassociation and Trauma Bonds:
  • “From then on, I barely. I don't. I didn't cry. I didn't freak out. I was just like, oh, I was like a zombie.” ([133:51])
• On the Aftermath:
  • “I've learned a ton. And so it is sort of psychologically fascinating.” ([169:51])
• On Her Staff's Reactions:
  • "I would have thought that very quickly ... [they’d] realize that like, this was my biggest nightmare come true. And. But, yeah, no, they never did." – Sarma ([148:50])

Important Segment Timestamps

• Sarma’s Early Career & Matthew Kenney: [03:54] – [10:01]; [21:55] – [35:26]
• First Experiments with Raw Vegan Food: [10:01] – [12:14]
• Struggles with Eating Disorders: [14:28] – [19:44]
• 9/11 Experiences: [22:56] – [27:29]
• Sued by Trump & Weinstein Encounter: [35:21] – [40:43]
• Alec Baldwin & Meeting Anthony (“Mr. Fox”): [57:27] – [63:43]; [74:11] – [84:09]
• Manipulation, Cult Dynamics & Financial Control: [84:09] – [100:41], [113:44] – [116:04]
• Restaurant Collapse & Decline: [121:11] – [131:48]
• Going “on the run” & Arrest: [133:51] – [140:43], [146:02] – [147:22]
• Aftermath, Court, & Recovery: [148:50] – [170:32]

Flow, Tone & Speaker Style

• Sarma: Deeply reflective, candid, often self-aware and self-critical. She confesses embarrassment and shame openly but is determined to share the truth to help others. Her language is precise, sometimes clinical—she has clearly processed and researched her experience.
• Julian: Supportive, incredulous at times, probing for clarity, but consistently empathetic. He draws out the narrative’s most dramatic beats and pushes for clarity on what may seem, to outsiders, inexplicable psychological vulnerabilities.

Summary for New Listeners

This marathon episode is a powerful, immersive study in how even highly competent, successful people can be targeted by con artists wielding cult-like psychological methods. Sarma’s story, though individualized to her, contains lessons about emotional vulnerability, the dangers of looking for rescue, and how the interplay of trauma, ambition, and trust can be weaponized. The episode is raw, human, and at times uncomfortable, but it’s ultimately a journey of comprehension, accountability, and hard-earned self-awareness.

End of Summary