Loading summary
Transcript23 lines
- [00:01]
A
Hi, I'm Brant Menzwar and welcome to my show. Just a moment. As a former world touring musician turned keynote speaker and author, I've experienced my share of life altering moments that have both broken me and propelled me forward. How you leverage those moments or push through them will define your destiny. Each week on my show, I'll provide tools on how to maximize those moments as well as interview some of the most successful entrepreneurs, entertainers and athletes on how the power of a single moment changed their life. Join me to learn how to change what's possible for your life. It'll take just a moment. Today's guest is Saba Kidway, an entrepreneur, former Apple executive educator, and current creator of Designing Schools, an organization leading the charge to make technology accessible in schools. Saba's focus in life has always been education, whether it was her own or others. But her empathetic approach is something that solidified itself in her life's journey. This is her moment.
- [01:07]
B
I'm Saba Kidway and this is my moment. I grew up in London. Honestly, I have nothing but good memories academically. I really enjoyed where I was and I loved learning. I just remember going to school and being really happy and just enjoying kind of the space I was in. I moved to California when I was 10, so my mom was a stay at home mom. And my dad, he's an entrepreneur and he has dry cleaning businesses. He just opened a restaurant like five years ago, so that was his first step outside of dry cleaning. I have three younger sisters. We all definitely had our ups and downs and you have your moments, but I credit our dad with this 100% because he always, from when we were young, really highlighted within each of us what was unique and would tell everybody this is what's unique about this person. And so I feel like we really grew up not in a competitive state or anything, but wow, like I can go to this person for this. I can go to this person for this. I can go to that person for that. And I feel like when we all turned 18, age no longer became a number. So it's just incredible. It's like you've got three best friends and so it's amazing. We had a joint family so we lived with like our aunt and our grandma. And so I feel like when it came to helping, I didn't have to like babysit or do a lot of those kinds of things. It was always like a lot of family around. We each have a very different relationship with each other. So my second sister is three and a half years Younger than me. My third sister is eight years younger than me and then my last sister is nine years younger than me. But even though somebody would think oh like nine years younger, you guys must like not be close or whatever, we just have such unique relationships with each other because I feel like we just know and value what's unique about each person.
- [02:43]
A
Saba's otherwise happy childhood was marred by difficulties with her mother in a sudden move overseas. Yet through all that, her education remained her escape, even when she faced trials and tribulations there as well.
- [02:56]
B
When we first moved, I feel like it was really traumatic. We grew up in a very non cultural neighborhood compared to where we were, right? It was like very British, very whatnot. And my dad always had this thing that my kids don't have any culture, they don't have any religion, they don't have any of these pieces. And so when he came to visit Orange county, he was like, oh my God, there's so much diversity here. There's so much this, there's so much that we end up moving here and we end up going to a religious school. And it's like culture shock in London, the grade levels, the way they're done, the numbers are ahead. And so you know how it is when you're little, like you're counting every number, it's like a big deal. So class six is grade five here. So I was supposed to go to class six, I end up going to grade five. And that alone was just like a bad start. And then we had to wear certain things and do certain things. And I felt like I was just always getting in trouble because I was like, why do I have to do this? This makes no sense to me whatsoever. And academically it just wasn't that enriching. We had a really different experience I think in London compared to school here. I just remember being really angry. I don't know that I actually had a lot of hobbies because the school that we went to didn't nurture a lot of those things. So that was another thing that I think was really different about being in London. We went from swimming, horseback riding, gymnastics, like all these different things that we were doing till we came here. And that culture, like it's very different over here. And I think like our parents not having as much exposure. Our dad was still going back and forth a lot because he still had businesses in London and he was setting up one here. It's just a very different, I think, environment. I did well enough in school, like I did bare minimum what I had to do. When I got to high school, I actually ended up dropping out my junior year. I had learned that you could take this, like, high school exit exam. And I ended up going to community college. And that's when I feel like my life really changed again. I feel like anything I didn't do for from fifth grade to 11th grade, I made up for it within two years. I took everything from fencing to graphic design to sewing to web development, HTML, I mean, you name it. I credit so much of what I do today to the variety of those experiences that I have in community college.
- [04:57]
A
Education went from Saba's escape to her life's work. She found she had a talent for outreach, one that would lead her into a PhD program and a lifetime of impacting students.
- [05:09]
B
My first job was basically being a counselor to high school students. And one of the things that we did, they had underserved, like, kind of program for kids that couldn't afford college or didn't know was an option. And I would go to the high schools and we would tell them, like, hey, did you know you could go to community college for free? And I'll never forget, you know, when they say, like, her face lights up, it was like literally watching that over and over again. And I just fell in love with that feeling of being able to help people see, see something that was possible that they didn't know was possible for themselves. It just so happened at the same time, I was taking a education class, but it was elementary. And I was like, you know what? I like this education thing, but I can't do elementary because I've got too many favorites. And it's really obvious, but I really enjoy working with this older group. And at the same time, I also ended up getting this very random award for social science. And I was like, what is this? I didn't even apply for this. What am I getting? And whatnot. And they were like, you've taken so much, so many social science courses, and you've scored a 4.0 in all of them that you're getting this award. And then it just so happened. There was a college fair, and at UCI was there University of California, Irvine. And they had a teaching program master's in credential, where if you majored in social science, you could waive the exams. I was not an exam taker. I was like, no sat, no gre, no nothing. For me, you could waive that exam by creating a portfolio and you could go teach high school. And I was like, done. I just got an award for that, and then that's how I ended up being an educator. And I went to UCI, transferred, did my bachelor's, master's credential, and then graduated in 2006. And a couple months later, 2007 was a recession.
- [06:41]
A
In the midst of turbulent economic times, Saba still found success. As one opportunity closed, others opened. But just as she was finding stability in her work life, her home life saw a dramatic shift.
- [06:56]
B
I get my first job, I get my first layoff notice, and then I am just like all over the place. I'm like, what is going on? What's happening? I thought I did all the things I was supposed to do. School grades, good job, good everything. And it wouldn't be until a couple of years I would read this book called Linchpin by Seth Godin, where he's basically that deal, go to school, get good grades. Like, that's dead, right? You've gotta really be able to show your value and solve problems. And I was like, I could do that, but it was all about, like, just how you pitched yourself. And so once I settled into my career, about 2010, literally that same year, my parents end up getting divorced. And it was also the time the iPad was coming out and whatnot. And so I was getting very much into technology, but I was also dealing with all of these things personally. And it wouldn't be until a couple of years in, I would say probably about 2014, that I finally settled into my career and I was like, why the heck did nobody put technology on my radar? This was just not a part of my schooling at all. And I started getting really interested in what is going to come next. We knew it was going to be AI. We had zero clue it would look like ChatGPT. And so I end up at this time getting recruited by usc. So I worked there for three years in higher ed, and then I got recruited by Apple. And when I was at Apple, I was like, okay, I'm going to go back to school now to do my doctorate and go and put some research to how do we prepare people for existing and emerging technologies. But throughout this entire through line, my parents are going through the most horrific, nasty divorce. It lasted nine years. And because I was the oldest, I feel like I was just in the.
- [08:32]
A
Middle of all of was this turbulent moment that Saba figured out that empathy was her most important asset in the face of isolation, for doing what she felt was right for her family.
- [08:45]
B
So our mom was not a very good person. She was super abusive. And remember I told you when we moved Here, our dad wanted us to have more culture and more of those things. So we're South Asian. I'm half Indian, half Pakistani. Sure, they have culture, sure they have a lot of things, and it's always nice to be part of that. But it also comes with a lot of baggage, a lot of expectations, that reputation, and having to always put your best face forward and things like that. And I feel like we had grown up being taught that, oh, what happens at home, stays at home. Like, you don't tell your family problems to outside people and whatnot. And. And it sounds so crazy to be like, yeah, I had a really abusive mother, this really horrible home experience, but outside I looked really happy and, like, I had, like, great relationship with my sisters and other people. So I feel like nobody really knew what was going on. And so when all of a sudden it got announced, there was a part of us that was really relieved because we were like, you finally we get to get away from her. And so all four of us were four sisters. Remember, all went with our dad. And I'll never forget the backlash and hate that we got from the community. Things like, oh, like, I can't believe you're abandoning your mot. I appreciate what happened so much more now, looking back, because I don't think I ever would have understood the depth of what it means to have empathy and how little of it we often have in our society had that moment not happened to me. Because for the longest time I walked around saying, why are people so dumb? Nobody even asks us why. So from the very first conversation I had with somebody when they found out our parents were getting divorced, we were staying with our dad. And the judgment that we got for doing so, because in that culture, like that India and Pakistani, that kind of culture, it's always the guy who's the evil, oppressive person. So the idea that it would be the mother was just unfathomable for anybody at all. They couldn't even just process the idea. And losing so many of our friends, or seeing how these people that you've known for so many years can now all of a sudden just turn against you in that moment really makes you question, like, what was the foundation of that friendship? What does friendship even mean? What does loyal mean? What does trust mean? What does it mean to be there for people? And we were really lucky. Remember, I said, we're three sisters, so it's like having three best friends. So you're okay there. But I feel like even though it dragged out, I very vividly remember that being such A turning point in how I was perceived. And so it was interesting because at the same time at work, I was entering this new space where, career wise, I was entering more of like technology and education. And I had just created a Twitter account and the name was Ask Ms. Q. I feel like it was about eight years after that happened that I was able to look back and be like. It was almost like me creating my own identity. That was Saba.
- [11:29]
A
Saba Kid Boy. Welcome to Just a Moment. I am friggin so excited that you are here. We have been friends for many years now and I'm just a huge fan of you and your work and welcome to the show.
- [11:43]
B
Thank you so much for having me.
- [11:45]
A
Oh, gosh, listen, we said this a little bit earlier. One of the things that I love about this podcast, especially when I'm able to interview friends, is I always learn things that I never knew. And among all of this moment that you have just walked us through, it explains so much about who you are and how you work today. There's so much context for me now that I had no idea. Watching you attack technology with reckless abandon and trying to figure out the best ways possible for us to assimilate with these things and use them in the right ways for the right reasons. After what you went through, it's almost like a rite of passage for you now to explore what you want to explore, the things that you find interesting. And is that sort of how it's been for you as an adult now?
- [12:38]
B
Yeah. It's really interesting to hear you phrase it like that. So I'll also say I've never really told a story before like I was telling you. Usually when people ask me like, oh, what's that moment? I always go to the work one, which was the recession. But now with AI and just, I think, thinking so much more about what does it mean to be human? And also how do we help people reconnect with the parts of them that make them really human. There's not a day that goes by where I don't ask myself, wow, who would Saba be today if she had not gone through that entire ordeal with her family? There were so many more layers to it, but it truly, had it not been for that, I don't think I would have gotten to that discovery phase of my life. I think I would have carried on cookie cutter like everybody else, just doing the things culturally that everybody else was doing. So I think breaking free of culture, even though in the moment felt like I was losing every friend, everything I had ever Known and it wasn't every friend, but honestly, I can just count on one hand the ones that were true and stayed by my side. Losing all of that felt like I was losing myself. And so having this other space where I was able to do some of those things that you were saying, I feel like, really allowed me to like really see who is saba. And I think that's something that I really wish for everybody, minus the pain. And that's something I think about a lot. Like, how do we help people achieve that and connect with those parts of themselves without having to go through some like, catastrophic event to get there?
- [14:00]
A
I'm curious for you, who grew up seeing a couple of different things that maybe the average person doesn't experience. So you have this cultural factor that weighs heavy on your upbringing and the scenarios that it's put you in front of. As a young woman, at least in my lifetime, I've never experienced more division in our country than we have right now. I'm curious for you, especially now with how integrated you are with AI and what's happening. I'm curious as to someone who has faced adversity, faced the cultural factor, faced all those things. I would say there's more people facing that now than ever. What is your advice to those that are in that similar scenario?
- [14:45]
B
I think this one's really hard because I think without the right people around you, it's hard to take advantage of AI in this way. I think AI can really support people in thinking through a lot of these things. However we see in the news every single day, it can be equally as detrimental. We do a lot of work with young people on how do you make decisions when using AI, how do you think about your agency to lead, not control in a controlling way, but to control your destiny. To lead these tools and to be aware of how they are influencing you, but also how you can influence the systems that you're into, whatever those systems may be. And so I think this concept of being able to have tools that support you in becoming more self aware can be powerful. I work in the education space mostly. Right. One of the things I would like to see is more adults lean into these conversations. This is what great coaches and mentors have done for centuries, is help people see their strengths, help people see the parts of them that they're, that are unique to them. I don't feel like you should. And I think this is one of the ways we help people do this without catastrophic events is from a young age, kind of like our dad did for us Calling out this is what is unique about you. And giving them data points that build that story in their head each and every single day. And then you have these AI tools so that when you're like, okay, I'm really unique, I have this idea, I have this thing I want to do, or I have this problem in my way, okay, I've got people here that can support me, but I also have these AI tools that can help me do things that just were humanly impossible before to be able to do independently without the kinds of resources and time and things like that that we have available to us. I feel like it's a very delicate bal, but this is the challenge and opportunity for society today is to really be like, how are we going to lean into those values? Every single one of my courses and everything starts with your book Black Sheep. Because until you don't define those non negotiables, until you don't define those things for yourself, it's hard to show up in that way. I don't think there's an answer to this, but I think the challenge and opportunity for us today is how do we nurture this next generation and each other to be able to reconnect with what's unique about us. Let's start doing that for people earlier and let's start balancing, okay, where do we use people? Where do we use AIs? And what does that relationship and collaboration look like between all parties?
- [17:03]
A
I love it. So before we wrap up, I'm curious, is there a moment for you that you'd love to take a revisit on and maybe approach differently?
- [17:12]
B
When my parents are getting divorced, I had just gotten engaged and he was not supportive. Like, we had very different family values. His was like, let them figure it out themselves. And we were like, no, people are there for each other. And we had this belief that by being there for each other, your blessings increase more and more. And theirs was, no, you're losing, you're getting things taken away from you. So that mindset was so different. And I really wish when I was doing that, somebody had sat me down and said, pick one. You're either going to support your family or you're going to go and get married. And ideally, it shouldn't have been a choice. Right? The right person would be there for you, to support you and all those things. But I think given what people had said, seen, there's a real, like, value clash here. I really wish somebody had pulled me aside and said, pick one, because both are not gonna mix. And I feel like, because nobody did that. I ended up getting married. I ended up getting divorced. And it just was something that, looking back, if I could change just one thing, it would be I would have more consciously made a decision. I would have chosen my family 100%. But I wouldn't have then had to have dealt with perhaps what I knew probably wasn't gonna work anyways.
- [18:14]
A
Absolutely. So listen, if people want to continue to follow your incredible work, what's the best way for them to do so?
- [18:20]
B
I always say it's to go to the website designingschools.org we're everywhere. So whatever your favorite way is of consuming or engaging with content. Yeah. Say hi and I'd love to see you there.
- [18:30]
A
Listen, you're one of my favorite people in the world. Thank you so much for being here and thank you for all of the advice that you gave. And I can't wait to see what's happening in your next chapter, which we know will be so exciting.
- [18:43]
B
Oh, thanks so much. You too.
- [18:46]
A
Thank you for joining us on this episode of Just a Moment. Make sure to subscribe to our podcast and tell a friend or two about it to help spread the word so everyone can find a moment that inspires them. Don't forget to leave us a review and check us out on the web@justamomentpodcast.com Just a Moment is produced by Natalie Von Rose and Brandt Menswear. For more inspiring shows like this, visit surroundpodcasts. Com.