Podcast Summary: Just A Moment – "Empathy Over Expectation: Sabba Quidwai"
Host: Brant Menswar
Guest: Sabba Quidwai
Release Date: September 29, 2025
Duration: ~30 minutes
Brief Overview
This episode of Just A Moment features Sabba Quidwai, an entrepreneur, former Apple executive, and founder of Designing Schools. Host Brant Menswar invites Sabba to share two pivotal stories: the breakthrough moment that changed everything and a missed moment she wishes she could revisit. Sabba’s journey traverses cultural transitions, family upheaval, and a professional commitment to empathy-driven education, all set against the changing landscape of technology and artificial intelligence. The episode spotlights how empathy, rather than rigid cultural expectation, can redefine personal and professional destiny.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
Growing Up and Family Dynamics
Timestamps: [01:06] – [02:42]
- Sabba reflects on her childhood in London, the family’s move to California at age 10, and the vital role her father played in nurturing each sister’s individuality.
- Despite significant age differences, Sabba and her three sisters developed close, supportive relationships, valuing each other's unique strengths due to their father's approach.
Quote:
“He always, from when we were young, really highlighted within each of us what was unique and would tell everybody this is what's unique about this person... So it's just incredible. It's like you've got three best friends and so it's amazing.”
— Sabba Quidwai [01:40]
Cultural Dislocation and Academic Resilience
Timestamps: [02:56] – [04:57]
- The move to Orange County brought both culture shock and a less nurturing academic environment, leading Sabba to disengage from school and extracurriculars she once enjoyed.
- Sabba dropped out of high school in her junior year after discovering a community college exit route—an experience she credits for her later adaptability and breadth of interests.
Quote:
“I just remember being really angry. I don't know that I actually had a lot of hobbies because the school that we went to didn't nurture a lot of those things... And I think like our parents not having as much exposure... It's just a very different, I think, environment.”
— Sabba Quidwai [03:49]
Discovering a Calling in Education
Timestamps: [05:09] – [06:41]
- Sabba's early job counseling underserved high school students inspired her love for education—especially the moment she helped others see new possibilities for themselves.
- Receiving an unexpected social science award and finding a unique teaching credential opportunity without standardized testing guided her into secondary education.
Quote:
“I just fell in love with that feeling of being able to help people see, see something that was possible that they didn't know was possible for themselves.”
— Sabba Quidwai [05:34]
Career Fluctuations and the Influence of Technology
Timestamps: [06:55] – [08:32]
- Experiencing job loss during the 2007 recession, Sabba read Seth Godin’s Linchpin, reframing her idea of professional value and resilience.
- The advent of the iPad and growing interest in technology propelled her toward high-profile roles at USC and Apple, and eventually to doctoral studies focused on preparing people for technological change.
Family Crisis and the Transformational Power of Empathy
Timestamps: [08:45] – [11:28]
- A protracted and deeply painful parental divorce exposed Sabba and her sisters to intense cultural stigma, community judgment, and a need to choose between expectation and authentic support.
- Sabba identifies this period as foundational for understanding empathy—both personally and as a societal necessity.
Quote:
“I appreciate what happened so much more now, looking back, because I don't think I ever would have understood the depth of what it means to have empathy and how little of it we often have in our society had that moment not happened to me.”
— Sabba Quidwai [09:32]
The Emergence of Identity and Agency
Timestamps: [11:43] – [14:00]
- Sabba discusses how adversity allowed her to step outside of cultural expectations, forming her own identity—personified in her public persona “Ask Ms. Q.”
- She stresses the importance of discovering and defining oneself outside of societal pressures and wishes others could achieve this self-knowledge without similar trauma.
Quote:
“Had it not been for that, I don't think I would have gotten to that discovery phase of my life. I think I would have carried on cookie cutter like everybody else, just doing the things culturally that everybody else was doing.”
— Sabba Quidwai [13:15]
Empathy, Technology, and the Next Generation
Timestamps: [14:44] – [17:03]
- Sabba shares her vision of combining empathetic adult mentorship with technological tools (including AI) to help young people and adults alike cultivate self-awareness and agency.
- She advocates for early, intentional recognition of individual strengths in education and balancing technology with human connection.
Quote:
“This is what great coaches and mentors have done for centuries, is help people see their strengths, help people see the parts of them that they're, that are unique to them... Let's start balancing, okay, where do we use people? Where do we use AIs? And what does that relationship and collaboration look like between all parties?”
— Sabba Quidwai [15:40, 16:45]
Missed Moment and Lessons Learned
Timestamps: [17:11] – [18:13]
- Sabba reflects on her engagement during her parents’ divorce, realizing in hindsight the incompatibility of her fiancé’s values with her own family-centric ethos.
- She wishes someone had pushed her to make a definitive choice, emphasizing the need for conscious decision-making when major life values are at stake.
Quote:
“I really wish somebody had pulled me aside and said, pick one, because both are not gonna mix... If I could change just one thing, it would be I would have more consciously made a decision. I would have chosen my family 100%.”
— Sabba Quidwai [17:40]
Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments
-
“It's always nice to be part of [a culture]. But it also comes with a lot of baggage, a lot of expectations, that reputation, and having to always put your best face forward…and we had grown up being taught that, oh, what happens at home, stays at home.”
— Sabba Quidwai [08:50] -
“How do we help people achieve that and connect with those parts of themselves without having to go through some catastrophic event to get there?”
— Sabba Quidwai [13:47]
Closing and Following Sabba’s Work
Timestamps: [18:19] – [18:42]
- Sabba invites listeners to explore her work at designingschools.org and connect through their preferred media platforms.
Summary Table of Key Timestamps
| Timestamp | Segment | Main Topic | |------------|---------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------------| | 01:06 | Sabba’s Childhood & Family | Family values, moving to California, sibling bonds| | 02:56 | Culture Shock & Schooling | Academic challenges and adapting in the US | | 05:09 | Discovering Education Career | Early job as counselor, college pathway | | 06:55 | Early Career and Recession | Layoff, Linchpin, technology inflection | | 08:45 | Family Trauma, Empathy Breakthrough | Parental divorce, community reaction, empathy | | 11:43 | Identity Formation | “Ask Ms. Q”, stepping outside cultural norms | | 14:44 | Empathy & AI in Education | Future of education, mentoring with tech | | 17:11 | Missed Moment: Choosing Priorities | Engagement vs. supporting family | | 18:19 | Closing & Contacts | How to follow Sabba’s work |
Final Thoughts
Sabba Quidwai’s story on Just A Moment exemplifies the way empathy, agency, and the courage to break free from expectation can transform personal hardship into both healing and purpose-driven innovation. Her message underscores the power of seeing and celebrating uniqueness—not just in the classroom, but in all spheres society expects us to conform. For educators, technologists, and anyone confronting cultural crossroads, this conversation offers a moving exploration of what it means to lead with empathy and reimagine possibility.