Kat on the Loose – "UNLONELY WITH DR JODY CARRINGTON"

Date: December 17, 2025
Host: Kat Zammuto
Guest: Dr. Jody Carrington

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and practical episode, Kat Zammuto sits down with psychologist and author Dr. Jody Carrington to tackle the ever-growing epidemic of loneliness, especially during the holiday season. Together, they break down the emotional reality of disconnection in a hyperconnected digital world, sharing lived experiences, science-backed advice, micro-strategies for daily resilience, and ideas to “unlonely” yourself and others. The conversation is raw, empathetic, and empowering, reaching listeners who feel lost, isolated, or overwhelmed—especially women juggling work, family, and self.

Key Themes and Discussion Points

1. Loneliness in a Connected World

• Acknowledging the epidemic: Dr. Jody and Kat discuss how, despite being constantly connected via technology and social media, people (especially women) are increasingly lonely.
• Holiday amplification: The holidays can magnify feelings of isolation (02:04). Kat brings up the flood of DMs she receives from listeners who feel especially alone during this period.
  • Quote (Dr. Jody, 02:16): “You can’t address what you don’t acknowledge… we are not designed for this much noise.”
• Physical response to overwhelm: Dr. Jody illustrates the stress of constant notifications and social comparison, asking listeners to physically drop their shoulders, wiggle their toes, and let their gut relax to help regulate the body (02:40).

2. Practical Advice for Loneliness

• Microdosing connection: Instead of shooting for big, unrealistic self-care goals, Dr. Jody recommends small, frequent resets—like dropping your shoulders or practicing a regulated breath—throughout the day (04:48).
  • Quote: “We’re not this successful because we’re good at meditating… I want you to think about microdosing it… Two seconds is all I need.”
• Take action, even if hard: Kat suggests getting out of the house, dressing up, and forcing yourself into public spaces to break the cycle of isolation.
  • Quote (Kat, 06:22): “The first step of getting out of the house is hard, but I think if you do that—it gets exponentially better every day.”
• Small, daily acts: Dr. Jody emphasizes the power of simple gestures like waving at a neighbor, going for coffee once a week, or buying a coffee for someone in line (07:07; 27:39).
  • Quote: “You do not need to go out and create a book club for 57,000 homeless women. What I need you to do is one small thing a day… This isn’t for anybody else other than you.”

3. The Trap of Busyness and Resilience

• Busyness as avoidance vs. growth: Kat keeps herself “insanely busy” to counter loneliness. Dr. Jody acknowledges the benefits but warns against using busyness to avoid pain without processing it (09:35).
  • Quote (Dr. Jody, 09:35): “If you just do more to avoid the pain and you numb it with busyness, it’s not good for you… drop your shoulders. Regulate that system.”
• The art of acknowledgment: When someone shares their pain, instead of offering solutions, Dr. Jody advises just listening. Her favorite three words: “Tell me more.” (11:11).
  • Quote: “That acknowledgment... Tell me more. Sometimes people just always, always, when you’re acknowledged, you rise.”
• Finding good listeners: Genuine connection is rare; most people are overwhelmed themselves. Dr. Jody recommends asking one regulated (emotionally safe) person for a focused, reciprocal conversation (12:53).

4. Social Media and Shame Spirals

• Comparison kills connection:
  • Kat avoids looking at other women in her field to prevent destructive comparison (15:31).
  • Dr. Jody affirms this, cautioning that platforms are engineered to keep us hooked—fueling comparison and loneliness (15:31-16:54).
  • Quote: “Your superpower is giving [connection] away… Notice where [social media] feeds your soul and where it sucks from it.”
• Digital discipline: Simple boundaries—charging phones outside the bedroom, driving without music, and ensuring phone-free meals or meetups—help preserve presence and regulation (17:42).
  • Quote: “Even if it’s on your body, you still think about it... leave it in your car” (Dr. Jody, 18:14).

5. Strategies for Making Friends as an Adult

• Intentional curation: Be clear about the type of people you want in your life and proactively seek out environments where real conversations are possible (22:19).
  • Quote: “Curiosity is your greatest asset... Put yourself in positions where you can have face-to-face conversations with people.”
• Try new things: Both Kat and Dr. Jody advise getting out—dog parks, new sports (pickleball!), group classes, even chatting at the grocery store—because genuine connection often comes from brief, brave interactions (23:28).

6. Human Connection: The Science & Magic

• Physical health link: Social connection is a top predictor of health and longevity, beyond diet or exercise (24:20).
• Simple humanity: Smiling at strangers, giving compliments, waving at others—such acts aren’t just for the recipient, they regulate your own nervous system and make you feel part of something larger (26:48; 27:45).
  • Quote: “When you give somebody a smile, you change their entire face and they look younger, they soften” (Dr. Jody, 26:48).
• The Ram Dass reminder:
  • Quote (Dr. Jody, quoting Ram Dass, 25:36): “We are all just here walking each other home.”

7. Resilience Is a Built Skill

• Everyone underestimates themselves: Most people are more resilient than they recognize—surviving and adapting through immense hardship (34:34).
• Resilience toolbox: Dr. Jody’s quick tips for building up resilience when you’re down:
  • Slow it down and feel what’s in your body
  • Move your body, get outside
  • Give away three compliments a day
  • Don’t focus on fixing everything; take “baby steps” and let small actions stack into bigger change (35:49-36:38).
  • Quote: “How do we make a change? We just build slowly… stack a few [right, kind things] together and suddenly you look a lot different in three weeks.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Regulating the Body:
  • “Drop your shoulders… Wiggle your toes. Let your gut out, let those shoulders down, and drop your tongue from the roof of your mouth.” (Dr. Jody, 02:40)
• On loneliness and connection:
  • “No matter how good we get at AI, authentic interaction is the only thing that’s going to matter.” (Dr. Jody, 06:53)
• Small Acts for Big Change:
  • “Give away three compliments a day… In that moment, you’re giving your nervous system a break.” (Dr. Jody, 28:27)
• Surviving and Thriving:
  • “Some of the most powerful work we will ever do is in the walking home.” (Dr. Jody quoting Ram Dass, 25:47)
• On Acknowledgment:
  • “Tell me more. When people say to you, Cat, I’m so lonely… just beautiful, holy work in the middle. That’s called acknowledgment.” (Dr. Jody, 10:56)
• On Solutions and Mindset:
  • “Instead of doing that, wake up in the morning and think about the solutions.” (Kat, 37:15)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:19 – 02:40: State of modern loneliness; physical signs of overwhelm
• 04:48 – 06:53: Microdosing connection and realistic self-care
• 09:35 – 11:19: The role of busyness in resilience and the power of acknowledgment
• 15:31 – 18:25: Social media comparison, discipline, and boundaries
• 22:19 – 24:20: Making new friends as an adult; the courage to connect
• 25:36 – 27:45: Smiling, compliments, and “walking each other home”
• 34:34 – 36:38: Building resilience—practical steps for those struggling right now

Actionable Takeaways

• Acknowledge your loneliness and the toll of modern “noise”
• Regulate your body throughout the day with tiny resets—drop your shoulders, breathe, let your gut relax
• Break isolation with small, doable actions: Smile, wave, go out, pay a compliment, make eye contact
• Avoid comparison by using social media intentionally and limiting exposure to “competitors”
• If you’re struggling or want to be a better friend: Practice “Tell me more” instead of rushing to fix problems
• Make new connections by being intentional, curious, and present in community spaces, even if it feels hard at first
• Build resilience slowly, with small, daily acts—move your body, give compliments, celebrate progress

Resources & Further Connection

• Follow Dr. Jody Carrington: [@DrJom] (as mentioned, find all her resources and her "Unlonely" podcast there)
• Kat on the Loose: New episodes weekly; connect via DMs—Kat and her team are striving to respond to every message

Closing Thought

“The world is lucky to have me, and it needs me.”
— Dr. Jody Carrington (31:29)

Small acts, presence, and authenticity not only reconnect you to others—they save you, too.