A Life in Bloom with Shawn Finnie

Summary

Keep It Positive, Sweetie
Episode: "A Life in Bloom with Shawn Finnie"
Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett
Guest: Shawn Finnie
Date: August 13, 2024

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt episode, host Crystal Renee Hayslett sits down with entertainment executive and producer Shawn Finnie to unpack the theme of "pivot season"—the idea of embracing life's transitions, allowing personal reinvention, and faithfully stepping into new chapters. Through vulnerable storytelling and candid reflection, Shawn details his unique upbringing, career milestones, battles with depression, and the power of letting go in order to evolve. The conversation is rich with insights on identity, value, faith, and what it truly means to “bloom” in life. The episode is both motivational and grounding, offering wisdom for anyone facing big life shifts or seeking deeper self-acceptance.

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Main Topics & Key Insights

1. The Power of Authentic Connection and Being a “Light”

• Opening Exchange (02:03–04:45)
  • Crystal expresses deep admiration for Shawn’s ability to uplift people just by being himself, both in person and online.
  • Quote: “Shine your light on the road ahead and you are helping others see their way out of darkness.” – Crystal [02:04]
  • Shawn recounts a moment when he comforted Crystal during her first panic attack, exemplifying his genuine care for people beyond surface-level interactions.
  • Quote: “It's funny because I saw you for the first time on stage...and I beeline straight to you—and I was like, how’s your heart? How's your spirit? ... The assumption is you're good because you're there. But that's not always the truth.” – Shawn [04:09]

2. Navigating Duality: Childhood, Faith, and Formative Lessons

• Shawn’s Background (05:35–10:44)
  • Raised in a household with a Muslim dad and Christian mom, coupled with a military upbringing, Shawn learned about choice, duality, and adaptability from an early age.
  • The blending of faiths and frequent moves equipped him to pivot easily throughout life and understand the complexity of people and spaces.
  • Quote: “It really taught me the duality of two things can exist at the same time... Allah. God. ...It could be two different things for me, I think, really helped me understand how to acclimate to people.” – Shawn [07:02]

3. The Evolution of Identity and Value, Especially in Hollywood

• On Social Media and Perceptions (10:50–12:06)
  • Shawn reflects on how social media and the entertainment industry distort ideas of value and identity, making it easy to get “addicted to the identity” others see versus staying true to oneself.
  • He emphasizes a mindset shift from scarcity to surplus, learning to let go so that greater things can come—even if that means stepping away from conventional successes.
  • Quote: “If you had a surplus mindset, you wouldn't even be thinking about this. You would put this down because you know something else is coming.” – Shawn [11:46]

4. Early Career Struggles, Setbacks, and Resilience

• From Homelessness to the Academy (12:22–18:35)
  • Shawn candidly recalls turning down a music deal to preserve his authentic image, which unexpectedly led to homelessness in LA.
  • He describes working odd jobs, living in his car, and eventually landing a temp assistant position at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, which set the stage for his historic rise.
  • Quote: “When I had nothing, I felt like I had everything. As weird as that sounds. ... I had to let go of the identity of what was to allow something new to come. But we don't talk about that in between.” – Shawn [16:11]

5. Climbing the Ladder: Achievements at the Academy & Letting Go

• Making History and Moving Forward (17:36–20:45)
  • Shawn became the youngest Black male executive at the Academy and navigated high-profile moments (e.g., #OscarsSoWhite), leveraging his impact to create meaningful change.
  • He reflects on the tension between public success and private sacrifice, and how letting go—sometimes at the height of perceived achievement—is necessary for growth.
  • Quote: "Some of your biggest blessings can also take a lot out of you, can also challenge you the most... But I've gotten greater before, so I want to get greater again." – Shawn [18:35, 18:45]

6. Facing Depression, Redefining Success, and Mental Health

• Battling with Depression (27:35–30:37)
  • Shawn openly discusses experiencing deep depression—both before and during his time at the Academy—as he struggled to reconcile external accomplishments with internal fulfillment.
  • Therapy and redefining personal success were pivotal in moving beyond people’s expectations and persistent self-criticism.
  • Quote: “I've had an amazing childhood, and my biggest enemy was always myself. Super critical, super, very hard, super pressure on myself to excel, to succeed.” – Shawn [29:36]
  • Quote: “I was too exhausted to dream.” – Shawn [22:02]

7. Working on Self: Rest, Reimagining Dreams, Multiple Streams

• Life After the Academy (30:50–35:30)
  • Shawn explains his current focus on personal healing, restoration, and conscious dreaming.
  • He shares his annual tradition of choosing a theme word; for 2024, it’s “multiple”—multiple streams of peace, income, love, and healing.
  • Quote: “The biggest project I'm ever going to work on is myself.” – Shawn [31:24]
  • Quote: “My year was illuminate... you can only see how bright something shines juxtaposed to the darkness.” – Shawn [34:11]

8. The Practice of Letting Go and Embracing Change

• Releasing Old Identities & Embracing New Growth (44:51–47:24)
  • Both Crystal and Shawn talk about being willing to release not just people and things, but outdated versions of themselves, as part of leveling up.
  • Quote: “We all want to be the space shuttle and we all want to take off... but the things you take off with aren't always the things that can go with you.” – Shawn [45:07]
  • Quote: “Sometimes you're the thing you need to let go of.” – Shawn [46:34]

9. Peaceful Practices & Being Grounded

• On Achieving Peace (40:30–43:27)
  • Shawn credits solitude, self-affirmation, and speaking love inwardly as main sources of his current peace.
  • Fitness and self-discipline are foundational to his mental health and ability to operate at a high level.
  • Quote: “I talk to myself a lot. I love you. ... I've been wanting a lot of other people to say certain things to me that I really needed to say to myself.” – Shawn [40:55]

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Notable Quotes

• “When you see people online, we see the accomplishments, we see the things we're doing, so our assumption is always that, oh, they're thriving, they're good. And they might be, but that doesn't mean that you can't have a bad day or a bad moment in the day.”
  – Shawn [05:07]

• “Are you willing to leave the good to grasp the greater?”
  – Shawn [17:16]

• “So in this season, just redefining what [success] means for me now.”
  – Shawn [30:37]

• “If I love myself, if I really love myself, and by that, if I trust myself, if I believe in myself, if I value myself, would I stay here?”
  – Shawn [24:44]

• “If it's from God, you may be tired, but it won’t be exhaustion.”
  – Crystal [36:31]

• “Sometimes we're like, this is my intuition. Like, is it your intuition or is it insecurity that’s causing you to do that?”
  – Shawn [37:35]

• “The project is me. The thing I'm looking at is Me, the thing I'm working on is me, me, me, me. Because I'm going to carry me everywhere that I wanted to go.”
  – Shawn [31:26]

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Listener Letters & Advice Segment ("Positive Outcomes")

[53:20–55:43]

• Letter from Sariah: On entrepreneurship and self-doubt.
• Shawn’s advice:
  • Write down your truth when you’re in a good space to revisit when doubt creeps in.
  • Allow yourself to feel your feelings and recognize them as passing.
  • Note your progress and remember how far you’ve come: “Just look back in the rearview mirror and be like, I'm 24 exits past where I used to be.” – Shawn [55:41]

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What They're Going/Growing Through (Self-Reflection)

[55:53–57:59]

• Crystal: Letting go of her timeline for God and moving toward more patience, trusting the process.
• Shawn: Accepting and embracing change, understanding that every level requires a new kind of faith and discipline, and recognizing it’s okay to miss parts of the past when evolving.

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Final Takeaways & Memorable Closers

[57:59–58:39]

• Keep it disciplined, sweetie. – Crystal: Each new level needs a new kind of discipline.
• Keep it blooming, sweetie. – Shawn: Growth is about what’s happening beneath the surface, not just what’s visible.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:03] – Crystal’s opening tribute to Shawn as a “light”
• [07:02] – Shawn on faith, duality, and military childhood
• [12:22] – Turning down a record deal and experiencing homelessness
• [17:36] – Career progression at the Academy, making history
• [22:02] – “Too exhausted to dream”: growth, exhaustion, and letting go
• [27:35] – Depression, therapy, and redefining personal success
• [34:11] – Theme words and reflections on purpose
• [40:55] – Achieving peace and the importance of self-love
• [45:07] – Letting go, growth, and the “space shuttle” analogy
• [53:20] – Listener letter and advice from Shawn

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Tone & Style

The episode is deeply conversational, honest, and uplifting, filled with laughter, raw admissions, and practical wisdom, mirroring the mission of “Keep It Positive, Sweetie”: to inspire, empower, and heal with grace and grit.

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Summary Usefulness

This summary captures the core messages and intimate moments from the episode, making it easy for non-listeners to absorb the hard-won lessons about resilience, change, self-worth, and the real meaning of “blooming”—no matter the season of life.

Transcript

[A]

Keep It Positive Sweetie is available on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Just search Keep It Positive Sweetie. That's sweetie with an ie to listen. Hello and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive Sweetie. I'm Krystal Renee Hayslett and as you can tell, I. I am not at home. I'm in Los Angeles right now catching up with some of my favorite, favorite people. Today I have with me Sean Finney and we're going to be talking about pivot season. As you can see, we're somewhere else. I want to shout out Thirteen Loon. Thirteen Loon is a beautiful store founded by Niko Graco where 90% of her products sold here are bipoc founded. Thank you so much. 13 loon shine. I'm so happy to have you here. Like you don't even understand. I've been trying to get this man on this podcast since season one. So I'm so happy to have you here.

[B]

And it was always yes, by the way. It was always a yes.

[A]

Thank you friend. Thank you so much. For people who do not know who Sean is, Where have you been? Is the question. So if you don't know, we not going to judge you. But I'm going to tell you a little bit about him. Sean Finney is an award winning entertainment executive and producer with over a decade of experience in Hollywood. Sean most recently served as executive Vice President, Member relations, Global outreach and awards at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Oscars. He was the youngest black male executive in the organization's history. Sean is a sought after host, moderator, commentator and facilitator in the entertainment sector. Currently the host of LA Times digital series the Envelope. Ladies and gentlemen, shout out Sean Finney.

[B]

You can intro me anytime, anywhere I go, Chris, anytime, anytime. But before, because I know this is your show. I'm so proud of you.

[A]

This is our show.

[B]

Thank you. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of what you've done, what you're doing and where it's going. Thank you so much. You are so many things, but a light is the first thing that comes to mind when I think about you.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

100% wow.

[A]

Sean, it's crazy you say that because I started the show off with a quote and this is the quote that I pulled that makes me think of you. See, and it says simply, shine your light on the road ahead and you are helping others see their way out of darkness. That is why you are.

[B]

You and me was never apart like we in there. Yes.

[A]

Yes. That is who you are to me. And when we were thinking, I was like, I need a quote, Rashawn. And we all were like, he's a light. He's a light. And when I saw this, and I was like, he is bringing people out of darkness. That. Just. Just being yourself. I'm telling you, on a regular day, if I just see you on Instagram, it brings me joy. That smile we got. Shawn. Fine. Where my camera? But that smile brings so many people joy. Then when you speak and you give other people hope, it just. It means the world. So thank you, friend.

[B]

I appreciate you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Appreciate.

[A]

You know, I remember when we first met, it was through Fatima.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I think it was during COVID You were doing a series on social media. What was that one called?

[B]

I was doing a series called Journey where I was talking to different artists and filmmakers, specifically, just about what was happening in the ecosystem from a human level. And not really just about the headlines, how people were doing. And that's when we initially connected.

[A]

That is when we initially connected. And it wasn't until a few years later that we actually met. And I remember and I tell people this story sometimes. Last year, during Oscar season, we were at an event where you had to speak, and you walked off stage, you came straight to me, and you're like, how are you doing? I was like, I don't know how I'm doing. I just had my first panic attack today. It just, like, came out.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And we talked about it.

[A]

We talked about it right in that moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And just hearing you say, crystal, sometimes you just gotta breathe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's okay. I go through it. It's fine. You're not alone in this. Meant so much. Because when you feel that for the first time, you have no idea what's going on. And I feel like God put me in that room that night to have you there. I'm like, oh, Shawn's there. And then you come to me and you're like, how are you? And your how are you isn't surface leveled. It's always, no, how are you?

[B]

Yeah, no. Cause we gonna have that conversation.

[A]

Yeah. And I couldn't lie to y'. All.

[B]

It's funny because I was. We were. I saw you for the first time on stage. So I came on there, and I was on stage, and I'm like, crystal, finish what I gotta do. And I came. You're right. I beeline straight to you. And I was like, how's your heart? How's your spirit? And what's interesting, too, is I think that people think when we're all dolled up at an event, you're at an Oscar event, leading up to it, everything's good. And those are the moments I find where I'm like, we really gotta tap in, because everything is happening so fast. And the assumption is you're good because you're there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But that's not always the truth. And that's why with people that you really feel that connection with, you got to really be like, no, no, no.

[A]

What's up? Yep.

[B]

Yeah. Literally.

[A]

What's up?

[B]

What's up? You good?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Because we can have this conversation right now in front of this room where we can talk in a way where we can understand. You know what I'm saying? I love a voice note, and I love your voice notes back too. But just to check in, because I feel like that's a law for life. We see people online, we see the accomplishments, we see the things we're doing. So our assumption is always that, oh, they're thriving, they're good. And they might be, but that doesn't mean that you can't have a bad day or a bad moment in the day in the.

[A]

Oof.

[B]

It's not always a bad day. Sometimes it's a bad moment in the day.

[A]

Yeah, that is so true. But, yeah, in that moment, you really just help. Because I think even still, I was feeling that heart. The heart palpitation feeling from an anxiety attack, and I was like, I could not get my heart rate to slow down. And just even talking to you just helps so much. And just I feel like God literally sent you to me that night just so I can be like, okay, all right, we good?

[B]

We good. We can keep going. We're going. Fight another day. Yeah, fight another day.

[A]

Right? Literally, so. You've done so many amazing things, Sean. I want to talk about young Sean. I want to take people through the journey of how we got to who you are today, the man that people know. You grew up in a Muslim home.

[B]

Yeah, my dad's Muslim. My mom's Christian.

[A]

How did that work out? Because, listen, I dated a Muslim, right?

[B]

Oh, okay. Oh, what was that like?

[A]

My mom and daddy was like, that ain't gonna work. Cause your aunt is pretty young. And I was like, but I love. Yeah, they ended up. He came to my college graduation. To this day, they always ask about him. He was one of the kindest human beings you'll ever meet in your life. So sweet. And I always say that he was the person that Loved me the hardest.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. But when it came to, like, having children, he wanted to raise him as Muslim. So I was like, I don't know if I can do that. So we ended up, like, just kind of naturally growing apart. But, yeah, it was. It was different. How was that for you?

[B]

You know, it's interesting because for me, I just thought that was the way the world worked. Right. I mean, not that I thought that everybody had the same thing, but I think it really taught me duality early. Right. So I'm a military kid. I moved around quite a bit. I was born in Virginia. I don't know much about. Like, I. Can't people be like, well, what's your favorite? I'm like, I was born in Newport News. It's 757. I have family, a lot of family in Richmond, Virginia, but we moved around a lot. So I would say, like, New York is home. Florida's home. My parents live in Florida now.

[A]

And they're still together.

[B]

They're still together.

[A]

Wow. I was so fascinated by this.

[B]

Yeah. My parents are still together. And I would say, you know, Crystal, I was talking about this in therapy, honestly, the other day, and I had such a power of choice as a child, and my dad was in the military for 24 years. So I want to be clear. I did not have the parents where I could be like, hey, yeah, it was very much, yes, sir. Yes, ma'.

[A]

Am.

[B]

But my parents allowed me to find my way. And I thought that that was just everyone's experience as a child. Right. And not that I didn't have rules. I had a lot of rules, but if I followed those rules, I had the power of choice. So I would go to the temple with my father, and then I would go to church with my mom. I didn't have to eat with my father, but out of respect, when I went to his side of the family, I would honor that, Honor that. Right. But it really taught me the duality of two things can exist at the same time. Allah. God. And so very young, I had this idea where I was like, these two of the biggest things that we talk about is religion and politics and so, like, religion for that at a young age, to understand that it could be two different things for me, I think, really helped me understand how to acclimate to people, how to be around different individuals very early in them. Being a military kid, moving around like, I had friends, I'm like, this is my best friend. You know what it's like when that's your best friend? And then you think y' all gonna be friends forever? And then I move to another city and have to learn to get new friends again and learn to. And as a kid, you're like, damn, this sucks.

[A]

Yeah, I can.

[B]

But as an adult, I have such an appreciation for. For understanding how to move in different rooms, in different spaces and move freely.

[A]

Yes. Which makes sense why you're able to pivot so easily.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In life.

[B]

That's amazing. And so I would say the experience for me, you know, as the experience for my parents might be a little different. Right. Because I think their families had their own opinions about how things could be, but they decided to come together. And for me, it was the best experience that I could have. Even now, being able to share those spaces, specific things with my father. We have our prayers that we do. And the specific things with my mom. And my dad would go to church with my mom. That took a while, but we got there. Well, my dad would go to church with my mom. My mom went to the temple with my father, too. And so I also. It wasn't only my experience. I also got to see how they were able to navigate that. And it wasn't always, I think, always pleasant, but I think that that was also a realness to it, too, where it's like these things that we put so much pressure on. How much does it really matter in terms of when you're bringing a life into this world and bringing that person up? But I felt like I had a really good power of choice as a child, and I was able to make decisions and I was able to express myself. And I appreciate it even more now. Being a grown up.

[A]

I love that as a grown up. Have you made a choice? Are you still kind of.

[B]

I mean, as a grown up, you know, Interesting. Christian is just. What. Because it's just been more accessible, I think. But I am open to so many different practices. Is. I'm not like, oh, that doesn't work. That's not. I'm. I'm really open because it's source for me. It's a feeling the name you give it is going to be the name that you give it that makes it feel good for you. But I believe that there's a higher calling over my life. Point blank period. And that's been the interesting thing about living in California, coming here, moving here from New York. I was like, okay, mountains, right? And I was just like, who made that? You know what I mean?

[A]

Wow.

[B]

It's just been grounding being here in a different way where I was just like, everywhere you look, it's a constant reminder of something man didn't make. And so I just chose to have that kind of perspective, which I think has kept me grounded in some ways here, because this hasn't always been easy. There's been a lot of challenges, a lot of pivots, and all of those pivots don't come with. Every pivot is different. Every pivot requires a different version of you, and not necessarily what you're releasing, but what you have to become.

[A]

That's powerful. Yeah, that is so true.

[B]

And there's been a lot of versions of that, and I'm working through some of that now, too.

[A]

How so? Do you mind me asking?

[B]

I think. I think value and identity is such an interesting concept, period. I think, you know, when we think of social media, you know, we haven't had something really interrupt, I think, the human experience like this since, like, mass media, you know, broadcast, you know, when that happened in the early 1900s. And so I'm just like, how people are starting to get their value, how I get my value, the identity. Are we at that thing that everybody's at? Are we not at that thing that everybody's at? Right. And you have different versions of it, but I feel like, for me, value and identity working in this town. Working in this town, that really, I think, propels so many images out to the rest of the world. The nuances, the highs, the lows, the reality, the nuances of it all, I think, for me have. Have impacted me in some ways, but have grown me in so many other ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But these. These pivots don't come without, I think, a bigger promise.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

But you gotta be willing to release something and let something go. And I think that's not always what we're thinking about, because I think we naturally have a scarcity kind of mindset where it's like, I gotta hold onto this. This is all I got. I gotta hold onto. It's like, no, but if you had a surplus mindset, you wouldn't even be thinking about this. You would put this down because, you know, something else is coming, and it may look different, but you know it's coming.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And so it's a. It's a mindset shift that I'm not always in the best seat for. I want to be clear. But then I'm continually learning and adjusting along the way.

[A]

I love that. I love that. You were the youngest VP at. For the academy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What was that experience like, how much time we have? As much as you need. Because I'm definitely interested to know what that was like, to be in that position at a very young age and to have made history.

[B]

Yeah, I think I'm still figuring out. Really. Honestly, I think so. I moved here from New York. I came here to do music. That's what I was doing. Came here to do music.

[A]

What do you do? Sing.

[B]

Yep. Sing. Oh, done. Oh, you already. Come on. It's lit.

[A]

All right, we got it here.

[B]

It's lit. It's lit. But no. Came here to do music. Got offered a deal under a major imprint. I was like, I made it. Four months in, I made it. Not quite. Then there's the paperwork and making sure. And at that time, that was 2013, so the 360 deals were a big thing. And most importantly, just them controlling your image. And for me, I think even at a young age, I understood, like, the power of image and what that would portray, and I just wanted to own it. Even if people didn't agree with it, I wanted to own it. I didn't want to perpetuate an idea that I really wasn't. You know, how hard it is to work so long. You know what it's like to work in. In multiple different careers because you've done it, too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you get the thing you thought you've always wanted, and then you say.

[A]

No, it's not what. Yeah.

[B]

And it's not what you thought. And then you're just like. You pray about it. You're like, what am I going to do about this? And it was like, say no. And I'm like, well, hold up. This is. I think I'm on the wrong channel. Let me. Let me tune my dial back. Because we didn't come this far to come this far to walk away from this and walking away from it. Interestingly enough, my car was getting shipped. A 1998 Toyota Camry was getting shipped here from New York the next day in the place where I was staying at, I could no longer stay at, and started living in that 1998 Toyota Camry. So this all goes into my story. Working at the organization. I was in that car for about four to six months.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah. Living here in California. Going to LA Fitness. Go to LA Fitness to shower, shave. Yeah. And it's a lot of people's story here.

[A]

I do hear this a lot.

[B]

Yeah, it's a lot of people's story here. But I have real parents, so I have parents that if I had told them, I mean, when I tell you, they would have Trent they would have, like, teleported here. They would have teleported here. And so I didn't tell them. I told my best friend. My best friend would send me Western Union. Western Union used to be a thing, y'.

[A]

All. It did.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? Western Union was the thing. It was now we got cash, app and everything, but Western Union, he would send me, like, you know, $100, $75 at the time. And that's how I was really getting by and surviving. And so because I'd had multiple jobs before, as an artist, you have to have multiple jobs. I had multiple jobs before. I was an assistant to the editor in chief of Giant magazine. His name is Emil Wilburkin. He now has this thing called Native Sun.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah, so he runs that, and he used to run Vibe. I was his assistant for a while, and I was like, okay, if I'm gonna do something here, I need to make it make sense. So I put out a lot of job applications. I even put a job application, 7 11. They did not hire me. I'm just like, I can make a Slurpee. I really feel like I can make a Slurpee. But it's fine. It's fine. And I went to a temp agency, Long story short. Went to a temp agency. And the temp agency's job is to not tell you what the job is, because then you could just go straight to it. Right. They told me about this job at a place, and I was like, okay, let me just go ahead fast forward. It was to be the temp assistant to the CEO at the time. I started off as a temp assistant to the CEO at the time, while I was living in my car, which was interesting, because, you know, at that point, if you make the tea wrong, you make the coffee wrong, you don't answer the phone. Right. You know, your attempt. You're not really. They're not committed to your. To your growth there. And it was an interesting time because when I had nothing, I felt like I had everything. As weird as that sounds. Yeah. As scary as it was, when I'm like, what street is this? And what does that sound at night? You just be hearing the craziest sounds. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, what is that?

[A]

Right? Oh, my goodness.

[B]

And when you got to get up and use the restroom, all of these things, you're getting out in an alleyway. It's all of those things. And I didn't grow up in that kind of capacity. So I think there was a lot of pressure, but I just was like, I am going to do something. I'm going to do something great. I'm here for a reason. And did not think that that reason was that job in any capacity. But I had to let go of the idea and the identity of what was to allow something new to come. But we don't talk about that in between.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Because the in betweens, when you're letting go and when you're waiting for and you're posturing yourself in the space of expectancy, but you can't quite make out what it is yet. There was a lot of depression there because I'm an artist, I'm used to creating, I'm used to performing, I'm used to making music. I'm used to doing the things that I want to do. And now I'm at an office and whose life is this? But I didn't understand that I was being positioned not only for me, but to be able to make impact.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

You know what I mean? And so we don't often think that way because it's like we want to do what we want to do. But what if we let go to let God? Like, what if we. Are you willing to leave the good to grasp the greater?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So anyway, I started there, became permanent over an extended amount of time. Became permanent. And Oscar so White, I was the executive assistant to the CEO at the time. And it was an interesting time, really, just in the industry, I think. And I use that time where I was like, okay, there's a void. I have value.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How do I add my value into the void? So I wrote a job description and promoted myself essentially by that job description to move into a different department. And that was the membership department. Did that for a while and then honestly just kept. Just kept kind of climbing the ranks. It's a long story, but the short story is I kept climbing the ranks and. And was there through its most probably vulnerable times. You know, when you think about the envelope and you think about some of the other things that have happened at the show, but it's not the show, it's the stuff throughout the year that was also a part of it, you know, really being a space to add that impact and strategy and leverage it. And it's impacted me in the best of ways and it's also cost me a lot, you know, And I think that some of your biggest blessings can also take a lot out of you, can also challenge you the most. And it has been something I'm very grateful for. That I've learned a lot about as I walk into new spaces. But I'm also completely good with letting it go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think that's the thing, is where we get something good. We hold onto it so long because we think this is as good as it's gonna get.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But I've gotten greater before, so I.

[A]

Wanna get greater again.

[B]

I wanna get greater again.

[A]

That's so true.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And so those kind of things. And it's hard to walk away from something when you feel like it's your safety. It's one thing if it's your success, because everybody has their perceived idea. And it's interesting. It wasn't even my own. It was everybody else's perception of my success. Everyone else's perception of your success. There's what's actually happening, and there's their perception of it. And then if you're not careful, you can easily get caught up in wanting to put up whatever you think that that is and not really making the decisions that you need to make for you. Because the win might not look like the win for everybody else. The whisper that God has for you might not look like the whisperer. Because everybody else, like, you made it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You're good. And I'm like, no, this isn't it.

[A]

This isn't it.

[B]

This isn't it. And I'm grateful for what it is, but this is not it. This is not my full stop. This is right now. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For me, there was multiple. Multiple things that I think that occurred. But I know that I'm like, I've done it. I did it. And I think that sometimes we come into things and we think we have to do all of it. And I'm like, the part that I did, I know what I did. I know the impact that I added, and I know what happened while I was in this space. And most importantly, I know who I helped. I know who I spoke to. I know who I created advocacy for. And a lot of public wins and a lot of private scars.

[A]

Mm. Ain't that it?

[B]

Mm.

[A]

My goodness.

[B]

My goodness.

[A]

Ooh. I did not know that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And just to look at you, that's why you just never know what people did to get where they are. A lot of times people are not willing to go through what a lot of people have had to go through to get to certain places where they feel like you've made it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, I did. But would you go through what I went through to get here? Nine Times ten.

[B]

No, no. And it's the highlight reel, right? It's the. I want the thing that, like, I want the moment on the carpet, and it's like the moment on the carpet that's such a fleeting moment.

[A]

It's.

[B]

So are you willing to go through the things that don't feel good continually and expand your idea and your limitations of what you had for yourself? Because that's how you allow other. These companies, these corporations, these organizations and people to really treat you. You know what I'm saying? So for me, it was amazing in so many different aspects. And like anything, any blessing that you have, there are challenges. The things that cause you to question, things about yourself, and most importantly, things that remind you of yourself.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know? Yeah.

[A]

When that mirror, it's gonna be like, and.

[B]

Or remind you more. Better.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is great. I wanna leave the good to grasp the greater. And it's easy to do that when you know it's on the other side.

[A]

When you don't know, you gotta have that. That blind faith. It's different.

[B]

Yeah, it's very different.

[A]

Yeah. So with blind faith, how do you. Where do you feel like that came from? And how were you able to be like, all right, I don't know what's on the other side of this, but I'm going to take this leap?

[B]

Yeah. You know, it's interesting because I think when people make decisions, I'm fascinated by people's decisions. I'm fascinated by how people make decisions. But one of the things that I've seen that's the common thread in people making decisions is that it's never just one decision. It's multiple decisions that have led up to one decision. Right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And for me, there were multiple things that occurred where I was like, hmm, I've put in, first of all, I was too exhausted to dream. So that's the thing. We go up, we share in our comment, we share in the story. When there's a big announcement, you know, an announcement of a job or announcement of somebody, we go, and it's great. But I don't know that we often think about what their experience is going to be like in there beyond that press release moment. And I think that that's a real thing. And I think I was like, I'm here. I am successful. I'm making more money than I've ever made. I have access. I have these things, and I'm too exhausted to dream. And is this success, or is this everyone else's idea of success? And for someone Else it might be great. And even though I was too exhausted to dream, I kept doing it. I kept wanting to make the dreams. But I have dreams outside of this. Yeah, right. I have dreams outside of how much this is taking. And I think that we often don't talk about safety. I think there's a safety required to. To be in a. In a 97 or 98 year old. Anything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But organization or anything where it wasn't created at a time for us.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So what do you think that's like? To be the person in the room. Right. You know, to speak up, speak out. There's a safety required to feel safe. To speak up, to speak out. Right. And I think for a good amount of time, I felt that safety to be able to do so. And then when I felt it wasn't as safe as it was before, I'm like, okay, I'm too exhausted to dream. I am. I don't have what I feel like I need to continue to be able to. To blossom in this space. I've put in so much time here. I've done so much for other people here, and I'm so proud of that and proud of the teams and proud of whatever it is. And what would happen if I started to dream again for me and started to put this time in here for me. And I always ask this question personally and professionally, and the question is, if I love myself, if I really love myself, and by that, if I trust myself, if I believe in myself, if I value myself, would I stay here? A relationship, a friendship, a family ship, a business deal. And when the answer came a bit more clear to me, it's never at the right time. It's never when you think it's gonna be. It's never at the time when you got the most money in the bank, when you got whatever. Whatever. But it comes at the time when it's clear. And at that time, I was like, okay, I got it. Because I've done this before.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm willing to do it again because I believe that there is something bigger than what I'm willing to walk away from.

[A]

Wow. I can't. I can say a lot of people probably wouldn't have walked away.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah. So I commend you for that. Because a lot of people wouldn't have had the wherewithal to be like, you know what? There is something better and bigger.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this is huge.

[B]

This is huge. And it's incredible. And it's all of these things, and it's a job and It's a job.

[A]

It's a job.

[B]

And I can get a job. Listen, clearly not at 7:11, but I can get a job.

[A]

Because it wasn't for you.

[B]

Yeah, it wasn't for me. Right, but it's the job. But I think that when we see these things, we're so attracted to the light, or we're so attracted to the headline. We're so attracted to the press release. And I think that if we could all just pause for a second and be like, that's great. And that's amazing. And when you're inside of it and you start to have those questions, it's like, and at what cost?

[A]

Yeah, it was.

[B]

You just got to ask yourself. And for everybody, it might be completely different. If you want to have a family, if you want to, you know, do this, if you have other aspects, aspirations in your life, you know, and a lot of people, I think, get in positions and. And there's the identity. And that. That identity is attractive because people seem see you valuable, and that's feeding an insecurity we may have within ourselves to continue to be. And in a town like this, where it's so predicated on where you are.

[A]

What you do, that is the first question people ask.

[B]

Yeah. What you. Not your name, what you do, what you do.

[A]

First I had to tell one girl, that is so rude. I was like, don't do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And she was like, well, I was like, don't. Don't start the conversation off like that. Yeah, but you're so right. That's exactly how they. What do you do?

[B]

What do you do?

[A]

What is your value?

[B]

And it's code for not always, but it's code for, how much respect should I give you? How can we work together? How can I use you? And it's not always negative, but it's very upfront. And I don't think that it's always honest. And I think that it's served so much, and you had to know. I've had this. Good. It served what it needed to serve, and it's good. But I do think that we get addicted to identity and because it gives us a false sense of power and a false sense of value. And I think the thing that I'm the most proud of out of all the things that have happened there, is that I was myself the whole time.

[A]

Good. I was gonna ask you that. Was there any ever a moment where you lost your identity? That's so good.

[B]

I was myself the whole time. And I think when I realized that I was no longer going to be able to show up as the Shawn that be flourishing. That is when I was like.

[A]

I.

[B]

Can'T do that because if I'm meeting someone in any capacity, we're meeting each other and you're meeting me, and I want to be that person for real. And I realized, you know, if I couldn't show up like that, I don't know that I'm really going to be able to add the value that I would be able to.

[A]

To add. No, that's so true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. In your journey, it seems like it was a lot of ups and downs. Was there ever a moment where depression kicked in? Or were you like, I need to seek mental health because this is a lot. Or were you always just type person, like, I'm a push through? Because I know sometimes we. I think as black people, we've. It's in us to just push through.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, and sometimes not until late. Probably like the past couple years, mental health and therapy has become popular, so to speak. You know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where before that we were just like, push through. Nobody cares. Yeah, push through. So was there any moments where you were like, ooh, or that you wish you, looking back, you could have, like, had someone to talk to during those times?

[B]

No, there was just a moment of full depression. Yeah. I was waiting for you to stop. I was like, yeah. Huh? Yeah. No, there was just a moment of full depression. And I don't know that it was specifically work only. And always, I think that it's just a moment of like, you fight so hard, you do all the things that you think you're supposed to do for the world's idea of you and what you should be doing, and then you get in it, you're like, why don't I feel good about this? You know, whether it's, I'm on TV right now. I'm in living room. I dreamed about this. I'm at the biggest show in the world. I'm around the people. I've dreamed about this in different ways, different scenarios. Not. Not quite this, but. And you almost am like, God, am I being ungrateful? You know what I'm saying? Like, am I not? Is something wrong? That I am not fully content in this moment? And I remember actually one time when I was going to have different bouts with therapy, when I was looking for a therapist, and I remember going into an HR person there and was like, I just want to find somebody. And it's so difficult to find a therapist. We also want to talk about that. It's so difficult to find a therapist. They're making it a lot easier now. And I just remember seeing my name, and it was like a folder, and it was like, sean Finney, depression. And then it was like a list of. And it was just like. But it was the first time that I had really seen it like that. And I was just like, oh, that is where I am.

[A]

Oh, my goodness.

[B]

Which wasn't a bad thing, honestly. Yeah. Seeing it in the folder for me, I was just like. Like, well, that is why I said I wanted to come and talk to y'. All. And I guess so. Yeah. I've had those moments. And those moments, honestly, started well before I was working. Those moments. I've had an amazing childhood, and my biggest enemy was always myself. Super critical, super, very hard, super pressure, a lot of pressure on myself to excel, to succeed. And I've had to just continue to redefine. What does success mean for me now? What does success mean for me now? Because the artist in me was like, success means getting a deal. Yeah, I got that. And I didn't take it right. Success was like, the job had that. I'm ready. I can separate from this now. Right. And so it's the continuation for me of redefining what success means for me in every season. Just, like, we get different wardrobe, the summer.

[A]

Yep, yep.

[B]

So in this season, just redefining what that means for me now.

[A]

Right. I love that. I love that. Where you are now. You. What are you doing now? Because I know that's a good question. I'm like, what are you doing?

[B]

You know, some things will come out very, very soon.

[A]

Okay. I knew something.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But. But just because I want the audience to really think of about it, because I think that for a while, I felt like I needed to answer that question, and there's a pressure to answer that question. And the truth is, the biggest project I'm ever going to work on is myself. You know what I'm saying? And so I remember having this conversation with someone. They were like, what are you doing? Because again, it becomes like this thing where it's like, I need to know how. How I can work with you, what we're gonna do. And I was just like, me.

[A]

I'm working on me. I love that.

[B]

And it was really jarring to them because they were like, oh, me. And I was like, no, no, I'm working on me. And they're like, yeah, but no, no. And I'm like, what project? Me. The project is me. The thing I'm looking at is Me, the thing I'm working on is me, me, me, me. Because I'm going to carry me everywhere that I wanted to go. And I think in this town and in this time, there is a need to have something to say for someone else to feel good about you and where you're going, or to say, oh, I thought you would have been doing, or to feel bad about what you're doing. So it's not just always feeling good. Right. And I think for me, first, I needed to rest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

10 years is a long time. Yeah. It's a long time just to be like. And I'm a whole human, you know, having my own experiences. Right. And I think I needed to rest. I needed to relax, I needed to release, I needed to reimagine. I needed to dream again. And I've been dreaming again and being able to exercise on some of those dreams and pay my bills at the same time. But I think what's also interesting is that we get to this space where almost. Almost takes the emotional thinking up, but it gets to this space where we feel so connected to the things that are not really real in our lives.

[A]

Talk about it. Yeah.

[B]

And I was really happy to spend my mom's birthday with her and my brother's birthday with him.

[A]

Because you miss out on so much.

[B]

Because I missed out just like, going and going and going. And I appreciate the moments that I've had. And I'm also appreciating what really, really matters in this season, where I am at right now.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm proud of you working on me. I love it because you do. It is a pressure of, like, what's next and what am I doing? And then when people. You're like, oh, I thought, no, like, that's great. I love when you say, I'm working on me.

[B]

Working on me.

[A]

Because that's a big project.

[B]

Yeah, it's the biggest project I'll ever do. And it's like, yeah, I'm doing stuff that is more visible when I'm working, doing some stuff for LA Times, or I'm working with other filmmakers and I'm working on doing strategy and consulting. All that is great, too. But I don't know that I ever necessarily need to answer the way I used to answer before. And there's nothing bad about it. I don't think anyone that does it is bad. I just think for me, I'm reprogramming for myself to continue. It's me. Everywhere I go, it's me. If I told you I'm landing at this place or I'm going to be in house at that place, you know what I mean? And I think one of the things that's been a blessing is like, I haven't had to go in house somewhere to survive. And I think that's what's been interesting in the reimagining, the dreaming again, where I'm like, wait, I can make money doing different things. I pick a word to describe my year every year.

[A]

What's this year?

[B]

This year is multiple.

[A]

Wow, okay.

[B]

Multiple streams of peace, multiple streams of love, multiple streams of income. Multiple streams of income and revenue.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

But also just multiple streams of, like, healing. You know what I'm saying? And in my, my. In 23, when I wasn't quite sure yet what was going to happen, my word was illuminate. The thing about illumination is that you can only see how bright something shines, juxtapose the darkness. I was in a lot of perceived darkness, which I now look back and say that was preparation. But in my year of probably illuminating the most, there was the most perception of darkness around. But it was for me to see how bright I could shine and how bright I could shine, not how bright I could shine at this job where I'm at with this title, with this. Because the title, we can. There's a job we can go on LinkedIn right now. There's a lot of jobs. There's a lot of jobs. But who are you without that? And that's the question. I'm always just like, when we get wrapped up in this, because it's so hard, acting, creating content, producer, producing music, it's so difficult that it almost becomes your identity because it's what you're doing all of the time.

[A]

No, literally.

[B]

But what if you couldn't do that?

[A]

Who are you exactly?

[B]

How do people answer that question? And so I've just been working on that myself.

[A]

Yeah, I love that. That's good. I have to ask myself that because I do feel like sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we do that it becomes who we are. And that's not the case at all. Yeah, but it is. When you're so wrapped up in it, it can become that. Yeah, check it.

[B]

It can 100%. And there's nothing wrong with it as long as you can just step out of it. Because it consumed a big part of everything that I was doing. When your schedule is crazy, when you're going from this thing, this thing, this thing, this thing, when it's paying your bills, when you've now been able to create a life that. Before. You weren't able to create a life before. I saw. When you were talking to Amber, when you were talking about how y' all first met. I love Amber. Oh, no, we love Amber. And she's fly all the time. All the time. We love Amber. But when she was talking about, like, I think at that time you couldn't pay your rent and like, the person that she was working with. So like, there was a time and now you're living in a way where you're like, wow, I wanted this and now I'm in it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? And so. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. You said something about I was too exhausted to dream my own dream. And I had. I was talking to someone and they were like, well, if it's from God, you won't be exhausted. You may be tired, but you won't be exhausted. And when you said that, it reminded me of that cloud. I was like, oh. Because I was like, there's sometimes where I'm like, right on the brink.

[B]

Like, Lord, wait, say that again.

[A]

Say that again. If it's from God, you. It won't exhaust you. You may be tired, but it won't be exhaustion.

[B]

I need to reevaluate a few things. Yeah. No, that's real.

[A]

And I was like, dang. Because he won't put more on you than you can bear.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. I do feel like sometimes I'm right on the brink of it. I'm like, okay, Lord, is this in your will? Because I'm about to.

[B]

I'm tired.

[A]

Super tired.

[B]

Yeah, I'm good. I'm rest. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So when you said that, it made me think of that.

[B]

Yeah. And what are we willing to release in order to step into what we want to become? And it's so easy to sit on this beautiful couch, well lit, and say that. You know what I'm saying? It's a struggle. It's hard. It's hard because your heart is in it. It's hard because the attachment is in it. It's hard because identity is in it. Whether it's a. A relationship with someone that you love very much, whether it's a job with someone that you love very much, whether it's your relationship with yourself that you're figuring out or the things that we've. Cuz sometimes you're like, is it intuition or is it insecurity?

[A]

Oh. Oh.

[B]

Because sometimes we're like, this is my intuition. Like, is it your intuition or Is that your insecurity that's causing you to do that? And I've been both, right? I've been both. I'm like, that was my intuition that told me. I mean, it kind of was my intuition, but it's also my insecurity. And so, like, taking that space to actually work on what those things are, to be able to decipher. You know what I mean? What that is. But speaking about dreaming, what's been interesting to me, even when I was like, okay, what. What is it? What do I want to do? How do I want to play? What do I want to do? I just realized my approach to dreaming is different. I'm such a producer. I'm such a. I need to make it happen. Even before we were sitting, I was like, what's the angle? But what's been interesting for me in this season is like, sean, you've produced a lot. What are you going to allow? Make space for acceptance and allowance. Because I'm so used to being like, okay, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna put this together, and I'm do this. And it's like, I felt like I had blessings on reserve that were, like, trying to be shipped to me, but I was moving the address, so it was like, return to sender. And I just needed to actually sit in the unknowing, Allow that to happen. Because people want to help you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

People want to show up for you, but if you keep moving houses, they keep going to the house looking for you to deliver the package to you, and that person's God trying to deliver that to you, it's difficult for him to find you. You know what I'm saying? So my approach. Approach to dreams have been different. And then my other thing is, is this really my dream, or is this the thing that I think I need to do to get the bag? Is this the thing that I need to do to seem valuable? Is this the thing that I need to do to seem like I'm doing well? So is it actually my dream that I'm dreaming, or is it the dream that I think I should be dreaming at this phase? And then what am I willing to release? Yeah, and then the hardest part is, like, saying it out loud, writing it down, whatever your practice is, with no resistance, right? Yeah, no resistance. I want to speak all over the world and get paid to speak all over the world. That's it. Not how, when. Well, who's gonna do that? What?

[A]

Right?

[B]

You just get to a point where you can say it and then just Let it be. That's been. So my approach to dreaming has. I've been taking a lot of time on that. Then just being like, the dream is this right? Because the dream is going to come. The dream is always shifting and moving. The dream is always repositioning itself. Right. It's centered in something, but it's repositioning itself.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But how I allow it to find me, that's changing.

[A]

Yeah, that's a change. I wanted to ask you, just looking at you, I'm like, you seem like you're in a very peaceful space right now in your life. What are you doing? What steps have you taken to reach this state? Are you at a peaceful place? Because you feel very peaceful. And I often want to know, like, what do people do to, like, reach that phase in their life? And then what are some practices that you put into place that make you feel at most, peace?

[B]

Sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I feel really peaceful. Not all the time. Sometimes more times than not now, I feel very peaceful. But you're always just, like, questioning. Even as confident as you can feel and be, you're questioning like, did I do that? Did I? Am I? Am I? Am I? The thing that I've been doing a lot is just spending time with myself, reminding myself I talk to myself a lot. I talk to myself a lot. I love you.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Mmm.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Because I think. I think I've been wanting a lot of other people to say certain things to me that I really needed to say to myself. And so I'm speaking to myself a lot more. The things that I feel like are limiting. I'm. I'm redefining. Is that even a limit? And who told me that was a limit? And so, like, who am I uninterrupted? And what interrupted me to begin with?

[A]

What is going on today?

[B]

I mean, no, it's the same thing, but because it's like. It's that. That feeling of, like, that real when you sit with yourself without any outside influences and you're just like, you know, yourself. You know, the things that you want to work on. You know, the things that you want that your heart is calling out, and you're like, I don't know how this is going to happen. But I've increased speaking to myself, because I've been saying I've been wanting a love that I think was really vacant within me, not because my parents are great, had a great childhood. And I think that I have allowed professionally certain things because of that need or that value. Right. You do it professionally. And personally, absolutely same. And I think that has been the biggest part of it. And it's not that I don't speak when I'm not in a. But it's who am I speaking it to? That's changed a lot for me because I realize some people will hold space for you. Everybody won't hold space for you at your moments where you're changing and finding yourself, you know? And so I've been doing my best to replace a lot of that. But I'm peaceful most of the time. I feel peaceful most of the time. I am confident in the fact that I have seen God do so many things in my life that. That's not the thing I'm questioning.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

You know what I mean? Even when I don't know how.

[A]

Yeah, right. We're not questioning.

[B]

We're not questioning it. I'm like, I know it's coming. I may not know what it is. Am I willing to wait for it? Am I willing to release something without knowing what's on the other side of it? What am I willing to become in order to do that? Am I willing to do the harder thing? But I've learned I can do hard things. I can do hard things. I need the right people around me. I need to be the right person to be around as well. But I can do hard things. So, yeah, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm at a good place right now. I am in a good place right now. And when I'm not at a good place, I'm honest about that, too.

[A]

That's good. That's good. Does it ever feel heavy to. Because I'm sure, like, a lot of people look at you like you got it all together. Does it ever get heavy? Because even when you walked in here, it's like. Like, do you ever feel like you gotta be, like, at a certain energy and, like, because you just. Or is that just.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Because some days you just don't feel like that. But, like, when we see you, it's just like, Sean's here, you know, you might be like, I don't feel like being here.

[B]

No, no. But you know what the honest thing is, is that I spend a lot of time alone as much as I can.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I am extroverted. I'm also very introverted.

[A]

Me, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, the biggest introverted extrovert.

[B]

Yeah. It's like, I can go out and do the things. I also need time to just, like, recharge and do whatever. The thing is that I need to do. Whether that's. You know what I'm saying, catching up on something on a show, whether it's just like being at the crib. That's why the gym is important for me. Fitness is very important for me.

[A]

That's why it's so fun.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you. No, but the benefits of it, I think, are aesthetic, but it's mental for me. And for me, it's also mental, the discipline. Because I've realized whatever I want and as I can see, continue to dream bigger. It's that higher level of discipline required. It's a higher level of releasing required. It's a higher level of decisiveness. It's a higher level of. What are you willing to really let go of to do this?

[A]

I feel like we need to change the title. You know, that keeps coming up, and that's a real thing. What are you willing to let go of?

[B]

What are you willing to let go of? Because it's like. It's. We all want to, like, be the space shuttle, and we all want to take off, and the space shuttle takes off. What the space shuttle goes into. Into space with is not what it took off with.

[A]

Come on, now.

[B]

So when it's with.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The boosters, all of that, everything drops off, and things drop off as you get to next levels. It's the same with us, but sometimes we. I have wanted to hold on to things, situations and circumstances because it feels good, because it's comfortable, because you love it, because you love them, because. Because you love the job, you love what it's giving you. But I also know that I'm supposed to go to space.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so, like, I can't get there with those things. And so, like, life will cause you. Like, the things that you take off with aren't always the things that can go with you.

[A]

Right. I had to learn the hard way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I had to learn the hard way. And that's so true. My therapist, when I was going through a season in my life, I called the purging season, where I was having to let people go and things go.

[B]

I'm glad I wasn't on that list. I made it through the Purging season.

[A]

It got real.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But she said to me, she said, crystal, everyone that came with, you can't go. And even that in itself was like, okay, this is. This is just a part of it, you know? And it really is. It's a part of evolution. It's a part of life. It's a part of growing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think when you realize that, it's. It's not always a bad thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, it's okay. I'm. I've outgrown this. Or this means I'm going to another level.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And most times it's a. It's a good thing. And you ridding yourself of some person or a thing that wasn't good for you anyway.

[B]

And the real thing is sometimes you're the thing you need to let go of.

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Sometimes you're the limited belief. You know what I'm saying? And I've done that, too. Where. Oh, it's that thing. I needed that thing. And I'm like, oh, damn, I'm the thing.

[A]

I'm the thing.

[B]

My ideas, my things that are no longer serving, where I actually want to go or how I need to move forward in life, and I can't get there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because of me.

[A]

And I tell. That's so true. I had a cousin of mine, I was like, you. You got to get out of this mindset. You're never going to grow if you keep thinking this way. And she was like, I didn't think about that. I was like, yeah. I was like, I don't think the same way I thought. You know what I'm saying? When I was 20.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm saying. Then when I turned 30, I didn't think the same way. Then I said, you continue to grow, and you have to evolve with where you're going, or you'll never grow. And that is so true. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy and be.

[B]

And like. And. And just asking the question, poking the holes, like, what is growth for me? Because growth for me might be something different. Right. Growth for your cousin, growth for, you know, success, all of these things. Because, like, being able to move and do different things and walk away from a job or a career or a thing that you once thought was a thing. Right. That's. That might be the most successful thing you ever did. And to somebody else is a big question mark.

[A]

Yeah. When I left Capill, they were like.

[B]

What you gonna do now?

[A]

What are you. You gonna go to Atlanta? Pursuit music? It was similar.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I literally quit a job.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A very stable job with benefits and health insurance to go do something. I had no idea, like, how I was gonna do it or anything. And everybody's looking at me like, well, you need to pray about that. I already did. All the way.

[B]

Yeah. And they're like, so. And see, that's the thing. And because you prayed about it, they think you're supposed to have an immediate answer to it. And it's like, that's the faith. That's the walk.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The walk is walking without the thing being completely clear, but walking anyway. You know what I'm saying? And I think that, like, we. People project their ideas of what faith is and the limitations of what it can be. And sometimes they do it to protect you.

[A]

They do. Yeah.

[B]

Or they think they're doing it to protect you, but you went from there. Music, costume design. And what if you had stayed on the hill? And there's nothing wrong with anyone who's still on that hill? Y' all stay on that hill.

[A]

But.

[B]

But you're on it. You're on. You're on your own hill now.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? And that's the part about it is where it's like, what are you willing to walk away from? To step into something different.

[A]

Yeah. You gotta do it. Scared. You asked me earlier.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What I had learned about myself in this whole process.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was, like, doing it. Scared.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because a lot of times you don't know what's on the other side of that step that you have to take.

[B]

Yeah. And I think, too, Crystal, it's like we romanticize success. We romanticize love. We romanticize what it is, and we make it this. If it's hard, that must mean it's not for me. Or if it doesn't work out that one time, that must mean it's not for me. That's why there's auditions. Right. Because you go on auditions, you don't get everything you want to audition for. And here's the other thing. The person who got the thing isn't necessarily better than you either. You know what I'm saying? And so, like, the constant audition of life is going at it and expecting and knowing that you will be told no, that it's not gonna work, that you didn't get picked this time. But that doesn't mean that it's not for you. It could just be. No, not right now.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I think that's a hard thing to kind of process when it's someone's dreams and someone's going after their dreams with all of their money in their pocket. Right now, somebody's going in their dreams, staying on somebody's couch. Somebody's going to the dreams, living in their car right now, and they can't have another no. But that no is only really kind of really propelling you towards a yes later. But it's your yes. It's a yes. That's going to be undeniable. A yes. And when you get the yes, it might not look like you think it is.

[A]

It never does, but it blows your mind. It's like, ah, I never thought it was going to be this.

[B]

Yeah, everybody's trying out for the NFL. Everyone's not going to be the star football player.

[A]

Nope.

[B]

But you might be the coach, you might be the chairman.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You might have other different avenues and how you can be in it. You know what I'm saying? And the same thing. But we have such a distorted view, I think, of, like, what it can be because we're so protective and precious about what we think it can be.

[A]

That's so true. Oh, my gosh, Sean. So to close, Sean, I want to ask you what brings you joy right now? This.

[B]

No, seriously. And I say that. No, I say that because it's like everything else is so temporary. I could tell you what brings me joy is like, I can go get this. I can go buy this. I can go make this money. I can go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Community brings me joy. Having conversations, being able to share when things aren't good. Being able to leave a voice note, being able to get one back. Being able to pray, you know what I'm saying? And being able to. To remind myself that, like, I'm valuable, I'm lovable, even with the things that I'm working through and figuring out and being able to have someone on the other side of the couch. That's like, I see you and you're doing good, even though you're not where you think you want to do or you want to be right now. What's bringing me joy as community?

[A]

I love that. I love that. Sean, thank you. You are such a delight. Thank you so much.

[B]

I love you and I'm so proud of you.

[A]

I love you, too. I love you so much. So to close out the show, we're going to do what we call positive outcomes.

[B]

Oh, dope.

[A]

That's where the listeners write in and we give them advice.

[B]

Oh, dope.

[A]

So this letter is from sah. I'm sah. I have in the past five years, been big on personal development and mental health and becoming more productive in planning for my and my family's future as well. As a wife of almost 10. 10 years with 2 kids. At some point 5 years ago, I felt lost. So I started working back to find me and what makes me happy. I started school, received my associates, and now I'm in school for my bachelor degree in Child and Family Studies and will graduate July of 2025 with my Bachelor degree. I see the same therapist for over the past four years now and have definitely done the work yet I get these spurts of feeling disappointment and dissatisfaction with myself that sends me into a depressed state of mind. Feelings that I'm not sure if I'm doing enough or if I could be doing better. In between all this, I'm trying to also build my business as an educational consultant for preschool age children. There are many times I almost feel that I am truly thriving. My purpose, almost questioning God, are you sure this is what I'm supposed to be doing? Because the minimum support I receive makes me second guess a lot. I know you're not supposed to think about what others opinions are, but it's hard to say that I don't. Any suggestions on staying focused with trying to be an entrepreneur despite the lack of support, even when you know it's for you?

[B]

Sariah, that's a beautiful name.

[A]

It is. I love that. Man, the way she spells is beautiful.

[B]

And Prada. She's graduating July 2025.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Here's the thing. Here's what I'm practicing. Sarai, if you listen in, this is what I'm practicing. I'm practicing when I'm in a good space, I write it down. When I'm feeling good, when I'm hearing clearly God's direction, when I'm feeling good about what I'm doing, I write it down. Because I know there's gonna be a day that I don't feel good and I need to come back to what's the truth. I think sometimes the fear to us feels so true and it's a lie because it's the worry of what could be for so many different reasons. But the truth is the truth. And so I always like to create a space to come back to the truth. And like this is what I'm doing. Second of all, I feel my feelings.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So when I feel bad, I'm not the person who's like, you shouldn't feel. I feel bad. I let myself feel bad. Yeah, it's like a cold. I feel my throat getting scratchy. I'm like, I'm going to take the medicine I need to take. But in order for it to be oh, it has to pass through now everybody's passing through some. Okay, two weeks too long. So. Right. You got things to do. But I'm honest about how I feel and I go back to the truth because the truth is. And it gives you permission. Right? Because. And I think we're not being honest with ourselves about anything in entrepreneurship is so difficult. It has stretched so many ideas of what I thought and how and. And people make it seem and be very easy, and it's not. And I think that if Sarai were to realize and understand that everything she's experiencing, the person she admires the most is also experiencing the same thing, but that person goes back to their truth. So I would write down the truth. I would write down what God is saying to me in the moments when it's at its highest, when it's real. Because if I'm operating from that place of deficiency, which is fear, which is so normal, we all do it. I do it all the time. That's not the truth of where and who we are.

[A]

No, it's not. I love it. That's so good.

[B]

And also, I would tell her to write down. Write down what she's done, because even just in that, she's already done so much. Yeah. I'm like, you've already done so much that sometimes when your head is down and you're just walking, you're not able to see. When I first started learning how to drive, I would drive, and I would look down, like, at the hood, because I'm like, my dad's like, you got to look further down the road. So the same thing. Like, just look further down, but just look back in the rearview mirror and be like, I'm 24 exits past where I used to be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's what I would say.

[A]

That is so good. Thank you, Sean. The next thing we do is what I'm going through and what I'm growing through.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

Yes. And for me, in this season, I am growing, going through, just really understanding that everything is in God's time. Because I do still sometimes, like, okay, sometimes I'll put God on the timeline.

[B]

Yeah. You said by January. Yeah.

[A]

I need this. They're going. You know what I'm saying? We need to get this done.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I've learned to just let him do his thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because there are some times where I'm like, okay, Lord. Like, I've been waiting for a long time, like, when are we gonna move in this area?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, so still trying to be patient and. And not rush him, because I know sometimes when we do that, he'll get going to give us what we asked for, but it ain't what we want.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So that's what I'm going through and.

[B]

Growing through what am I going through and going through. I think I'm going.

[A]

To.

[B]

Change, and I think change always feels uncomfortable, but it's also right where I'm supposed to be. So it's an interesting concept of, like, I'm going through things out of my element.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That are so different but also so necessary for where I'm about to go. And so I think I'm going through understanding, releasing what was and stepping into what will be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that isn't always as easy as it seems. And we glamorize and romanticize stepping into your next version of yourself, but we don't often talk about it's okay to miss something that you had, because that's the truth. You're human. Right. It's okay to miss aspects of certain things or people or situations or circumstances. And I think I'm going through realizing that every level is going to requ. Require a new level of not only my faith, but a new level of releasing.

[A]

Yeah. For me, that's good.

[B]

Yeah, that's good.

[A]

The last thing we do is keep it blank, Sweetie. And for this one, I will say keep it disciplined, Sweetie. We talked about every level requires a different type of discipline.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I would say in every level of state discipline, sweetie.

[B]

Yeah. And keep it blooming, sweetie. Keep it blooming, sweetie. Yes. Because I think the thing about it is that, like, we're just looking at the flower, but underneath are the roots and how far that is and how deep that is, and it's in seasons. Right. When you're looking at the trees in the wintertime, it looks like it's dead, but all the energy is really at the bottom. So just keep it blooming, sweetie.

[A]

I love that. That. I love that.

[B]

Thank you. I love you. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Oh, my gosh, Guys, thank you so much for tuning to this episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie. If you want to write into our positive outcome listener letter, you can write into keepit positive, sweetie gmail.com, and that's sweetie with an ie. You can follow me on all platforms at Luv, Crystal, Renee, Sean, tell the people where they can find you.

[B]

Instagram, Sean. Finny. Be flourishing. Twitter, Shawn B. Blooming. And that's really it. Yeah.

[A]

Make sure you tap in with Sean. Stay up to date with all the amazing things that he has coming up in the future. And if you want some. A little sunshine you like, just follow him right now. You'll definitely get that. All right, guys, thank you so much for tuning into this episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie. In the meantime, in between time, you know what to do. Keep it positive, sweetie. Bye, Sa.