Keep it Positive, Sweetie

Episode: "A New Season of Abundance" with Ms. Lawrence (March 26, 2024)

Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett | Guest: Ms. Lawrence

Overview

This episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie welcomes the vibrant Ms. Lawrence—a trailblazer known for authenticity, resilience, and breaking barriers in entertainment and culture. Host Crystal Renee Hayslett and Ms. Lawrence dive into unfiltered discussions about self-acceptance, growing up Black and queer in the South, faith and church trauma, building chosen family, and giving back to community. They also explore the illusion of material success, embracing vulnerability, and entering new seasons of abundance—with wisdom for listeners navigating healing and purpose.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Authenticity and Self-Belief

• Host Crystal introduces Ms. Lawrence with the quote:
  "True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are. It requires you to be who you are."
• Ms. Lawrence recalls growing up in Atlanta:
  • Embraced as a child by his family, especially his mother, who instilled honesty:

    "I never knew how to hide. I never knew how to be something other than what I felt on the inside because I was taught not to lie." (03:43)

• Early realization of being "different"—joy in arts, dancing, and expressing femininity despite mild teasing:

  "I was the dancer, always did the latest dances... It was always so gay, you know?" (05:31)

• Tried traditional "boy" activities like football and Boy Scouts but gravitated to the arts.

2. Family Acceptance and Chosen Family

• Ms. Lawrence discusses moments of misunderstanding with family—but no harsh rejection:

  "The older I got, the more I looked into why we are the way we are as Black people, as Black families... And that helped me to heal any wounds from that period of my life." (07:12)

• He found emotional support in chosen family within the LGBTQ community:

  "That’s where chosen family comes from... People who can tell you, 'No, you are spot on with who you are.'" (10:11)

• Credits parents for teaching work ethic, faith, and structure, despite limitations in conversation around sexuality.

3. Navigating Church, Faith, and Homophobia

• Both reflect on church hurt:

  "Let's not lean to the church or lean to man. Let's lean more on our relationship with God, and let's ask God for discernment to lead you to the proper teacher." (15:45)

• Ms. Lawrence leaves traditional, condemning churches, finds spiritual home at the inclusive Vision Church Atlanta:

  "My bishop is from the LGBTQ community. We have a first gentleman. It literally opened up a whole new portal of teachings I would not have gotten had I not gone back to church." (14:10)

• Advocates for personal relationship with God over blind faith in church leaders:

  "So many have not studied the book for themselves... It's no different than what you do in school." (18:55)

• On judgment:

  "Who are we to judge?" (24:08)

• Urges the Christian community to truly "lead with love" and study scripture independently.

4. Division, Social Media, and Bridging Gaps

• Concern about renewed divisions in Black community, fueled by social media:

  "Social media has become that exact same thing. We are disproportionately as Black people affected by it. It's so easy to use homophobia as a tool to conquer and divide us." (25:29)

• Recalls starting "Plated Purpose" dinners to bridge Black LGBTQ and straight communities after witnessing family pain and cultural rifts, including the DaBaby controversy:

  "What can I do? I gotta figure out something... I know the language of both sides." (33:05) "We are not a monolithic group... Everybody don’t fit under that rainbow umbrella." (34:03)

• Emphasizes that positive, healing efforts rarely attract the same attention as negativity.

5. Judgment, Public Scrutiny & Grace

• Discusses how public figures, especially Black men, are targeted for ridicule—destabilizing community progress.

  "You're forcing them to go into a hiding space—not that they have anything to hide from—but playing into this space of insecurity." (39:23)

• Advocates for grace:

  "In all things, I think everyone deserves grace. Until you can get to that point, keep your mouth shut." (42:14)

6. Career Journey: From Hair to Hollywood

• Ms. Lawrence shares journey from successful Atlanta hairstylist to TV personality and actor:
  • Started with Real Housewives of Atlanta → Fashion Queens → Discovered by Lee Daniels → Starred in Empire, Star, United States vs. Billie Holiday, Bros:

    "It all came to me. It fell in my lap... All about divine order." (43:22)

  • Credits generosity and pouring into others for opening doors:

    "Nurture the gifts God gave you. Don't be selfish with it. The more you pour, the more you can be filled up." (49:20)

7. The Truth About Abundance and Vulnerability

• Pandemic & strike forced Ms. Lawrence to reassess what matters:
  • Lost his father unexpectedly, became provider for his mother and niece:

    "Now I'm not concerned about my things anymore... I've always been a lender—not one time have I ever been put in a borrower seat... But 2023 showed me what it was like..." (53:02)

  • Recognizes the power of pouring into others and the necessity of being vulnerable and accepting help in return:

    "I have been in a season of withdrawing from my spiritual savings account... The revelation is, it’s about the relationships and the connections." (54:56)

8. Listener Letters & Advice

• Advice to LGBTQ listeners navigating faith and judgment:

  "Do not go into life wanting to make people accept you... You are never going to find happiness seeking acceptance from other people." (60:17) "Accept yourself first. Know God for yourself, not for what somebody else told you." (60:31)

• On perfectionism and authenticity (cussing example):
  • Distinguishes between harm (cursing) and harmless self-expression (cussing):

    "There's a difference between cursing and cussing... Don't beat yourself up for being human." (63:02)

  • Encourages honesty over empty perfectionism.

9. New Season, New Mindset

• Ms. Lawrence announces a new chapter:

  "I am going through a growth spurt... I'm growing into a new level of abundance that I am so excited about." (65:53)

  • Embracing faith as foundation for leaping into new business and personal ventures:

    "You just keep walking towards it because you see it... The enemy will make us think we don’t have the tools, but it’s there." (66:48)

  • Both highlight letting go of material attachments in favor of being anchored in purpose.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On authenticity and early life:

  "I labeled myself as the Atlanta mother. Born and raised right here... I did not have one of those families that ostracized me for embracing the 'misses' in me."
  — Ms. Lawrence (02:29)

• On church and faith:

  "I got up and left in the middle of service... Because I knew God for myself, and I always did His work, always walked in His will." — Ms. Lawrence (13:20)

• On judgment in the church:

  "Why would you think that God doesn't want relationship with you?" — Carl (22:05)

• On bridging communities:

  "We are not a monolithic group... Everybody don’t fit under that [rainbow] umbrella." — Ms. Lawrence (34:03)

• On materialism and 'things':

  "You can go out and fake like everything is peaches and cream, but... that stuff don’t make you feel good. It might look good—you might not look like what you’ve been through—but that’s a gift and a curse."
  — Ms. Lawrence (56:32)

• On grace:

  "In everything, everyone deserves grace. Until you can get to that point, keep your mouth shut."
  — Ms. Lawrence (42:14)

• On abundance:

  "I am now a more aware and responsible individual. I will now be more responsible with my gifts and my fruit."
  — Ms. Lawrence (67:22)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening & Authenticity (00:09–05:54)
• Family & Self-Acceptance (05:54–12:12)
• Faith, Church, and Queerness (11:09–21:00)
• Bridging Communities: Plated Purpose & DaBaby discussion (24:31–37:57)
• Social Media, Public Scrutiny, Grace (39:19–42:40)
• Career Journey & Purpose (43:22–53:07)
• Vulnerability, Abundance, & Letting Go of 'Things' (53:07–58:38)
• Listener Letters: Navigating Faith & Identity (58:53–60:54)
• On Perfection, Cussing, and Realness (61:03–65:12)
• Season of Growth & Abundance (65:53–67:36)
• Final Affirmations (68:04–68:30)

Closing Affirmations

• Crystal: "Keep it graceful, sweetie. Have grace with yourself and grace with others." (68:23)
• Ms. Lawrence: "Keep it honest." (68:27)

This episode is a celebration of healing, honesty, and the courage it takes to live and love out loud—inviting listeners to keep it positive, sweetie.