Keep It Positive, Sweetie

Episode: Can An Alpha Female Have It All? w/ Quiana Watson
Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett
Guest: Quiana Watson
Date: December 19, 2023

Episode Overview

This episode of "Keep It Positive, Sweetie" explores whether the modern “Alpha Female” can truly have it all—balancing career, relationships, self-care, and more. Host Crystal Renee Hayslett welcomes her close friend, powerhouse real estate broker and entrepreneur Quiana Watson, for a candid, deeply personal conversation. Together, they dissect what it means to be an alpha woman, the challenges of partnership, faith, healing, and their personal journeys through love and self-discovery.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining the Alpha Female—Leadership, Not Masculinity

• Timestamp: 02:38 – 03:39
• Quiana clarifies misconceptions about the term “Alpha Female.”
• Quiana: “Alpha means leader. Alpha means someone that is in charge. But that doesn’t mean that this person is walking around with masculine energy.” (03:38)
• Emphasizes that being an alpha woman doesn’t negate femininity or the desire for softness in intimate relationships.

2. Can Women “Have It All”—At the Same Time?

• Timestamp: 04:55 – 05:07
• Quiana: “I don’t think so. Not at the same time. I don’t think that you can have it all at the same time.” (05:02)
• Balancing ambition with relationships and family is extraordinarily complicated; something often has to give.
• Many women, including Quiana, find that single-minded focus on career can unintentionally sideline relationships and intimacy.
• Crystal: “When you’re laser-focused on a goal, you don’t see anything else.” (06:34)
• The two discuss how societal expectations and social media amplify the pressure and create misleading highlight reels.

3. Journey of Self-Reflection and Accountability

• Timestamp: 08:45 – 10:23
• Quiana describes hitting a personal low, going back through calendars and archives to realize she was obsessively focused on her work, neglecting intimate relationships.
• Quiana: “If you were on the receiving end of this, how would you have handled it?” (09:10)
• Realizes the need for communication—something her former partner wasn’t comfortable initiating, but which she now recognizes is vital.

4. Growth, Change, and the Cost of Ambition

• Timestamp: 10:23 – 12:03
• Quiana shares the challenges that came with evolving during her 10-year marriage. Ambition and growth can be threatening or isolating to a partner if not navigated carefully.
• On gender roles: “Women, we’re not designed to work hard forever. It doesn’t work well for our mental, it doesn’t work well for our physical bodies.” (11:29)
• She reflects on missing subtle relationship cues and wishes she had balanced things more.

5. Faith, Grace, and Healing Through Hardship

• Timestamp: 13:55 – 15:32
• Both women discuss how adversity brought them closer to God.
• Quiana: “You cannot hear God if you are not doing the work. ... Sometimes we want what we want so bad, and maybe God doesn’t want that for you.” (15:27, 15:33)
• Emphasizes therapy and faith as joint tools for healing and growth.

6. Public vs. Private Life—The Cost of Transparency

• Timestamp: 16:12 – 18:11
• Quiana talks about the fallout from making relationship hardships public on social media, the dangers of exposure, and learning to keep private matters protected.
• Her decision to “delete Close Friends and subscribers,” realizing “my life is not up for sale.” (18:02, 18:11)
• Importance of controlling the narrative and protecting what you love.

7. Forgiveness and Moving Forward

• Timestamp: 25:22 – 27:07
• Quiana admits forgiveness is a journey: “The closer I get to the forgiveness part, the lighter I feel. ... If you cannot truly forgive someone, how can you expect God to forgive you?” (25:25, 26:35)
• Differentiates between forgiveness and reconciliation: “Forgiveness is one thing, and reconciliation is another. So I’m working on the forgiveness part now. Because I gotta forgive, or it’s going to eat me up.” (26:36)

8. Motherhood: Choices, Pressures, and Realities

• Timestamp: 27:12 – 29:51
• Crystal and Quiana discuss the experience of being career-driven women in their 40s without children.
• Quiana shares fertility struggles: birth control’s long-term effects, IVF experiences, and societal assumptions.
• Advice to younger women: “If you are in your early 20s, mid-20s, early 30s… and you say ‘I don’t know if I want to have a child’ and you’re financially able, please go freeze your eggs…” (28:45)
• Accepts the possibility of being “just us, too”—acknowledging the layers of making peace with whichever path life takes.

9. Building and Leading in Business as an Alpha Female

• Timestamp: 32:45 – 40:55
• Quiana tells her real estate story, emphasizing integrity, process, and care for clients and agents.
• Importance of being a present, intentional leader: “Start how you want to finish.” (35:47)
• The challenges and pressures when your name is on the door: “You have to change when your level of responsibility changes. To whom much is given, much is required.” (39:39)

10. Difficult Leadership Decisions—Letting People Go

• Timestamp: 41:25 – 45:00
• Quiana on firing agents and assistants: “You have to put your own oxygen mask on first.” (43:23)
• Shares the necessity of trimming and refocusing for both joy and income, even when it means letting producing agents go.
• Handles departures with integrity: “I gave everybody all their deals back. And I did it in the best way. But it wasn’t about them. ... It was about me.” (44:03)

11. Navigating Gendered Double Standards in Leadership

• Timestamp: 45:36 – 46:56
• Explores how an assertive woman is labeled as “cold” or “a bitch,” while men are celebrated.
• Quiana (quoting Beyoncé): “In business, being polite does not mix. ... You can be fair, but when you’re out here being polite, you’re being unfair to yourself.” (46:33)

12. Looking Forward: Lessons for 2024

• Timestamp: 47:02 – 48:13
• Slowing down, enjoying the little things, nurturing faith, and being more intentional.
• “I want to move slower ... and I want to spend more time enjoying the little things.” (47:58)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Not Having It All at Once

• Quiana: “I don’t think you can have it all at the same time.” (05:03)

On Self-Reflection and Accountability

• Quiana: “If you were on the other side, would you have felt neglected?” (09:10)

On Forgiveness

• Quiana: “If you cannot truly forgive someone, how can you expect God to forgive you?” (26:35)

On Private vs. Public Life

• Quiana: “My life is not up for sale. ... If I can’t post it freely, then I shouldn’t be posting it.” (18:02, 18:11)
• Crystal: “What you really love, you protect.” (58:13)

On Gender Roles and Letting Men Lead

• Quiana: “Sometimes we get so independent ... you gotta learn to let these men lead...” (52:49)
• Crystal: “You don’t have to be a damsel in distress… But I do know it’s important to let the man feel like he is needed in the relationship.” (52:20)

On Leadership and Pressure

• Quiana: “You have to change when your level of responsibility changes. To whom much is given, much is required.” (39:39)

On Moving Forward

• Quiana: “So I want to go into 2024 slowing down… and I want to spend more time enjoying the little things.” (47:58)

Important Timestamps & Segments

• 00:09 – 01:51: Opening, friendship bonding, setting up the “alpha woman” theme.
• 03:38 – 05:07: Defining “alpha female” and if women can “have it all”.
• 08:45 – 10:23: Self-reflection after relationship struggles.
• 13:55 – 15:33: Faith and healing after betrayal.
• 16:12 – 18:11: On keeping parts of life private after going public.
• 25:22 – 27:07: Forgiveness and personal healing.
• 27:12 – 29:51: Motherhood, career, and IVF journey.
• 32:45 – 40:55: The path to building a real estate empire, leadership style.
• 41:25 – 45:00: Making difficult business decisions for personal wellbeing.
• 47:02 – 48:13: Goals and intentions for the new year.
• 58:01 – 59:37: “Keep it private, sweetie.” & “Keep it real, sweetie.” segment.

“Positive Outcomes” Listener Letter Segment (51:15 – 54:55)

Question: Listener, 41, career-driven and hyper-independent, asks if she should “play the damsel in distress” to not intimidate men.

Crystal: “You don’t have to be a damsel in distress … But I do know it’s important to let the man feel like he is needed in the relationship.” (52:20)

Quiana: “You gotta learn to let these men lead … the emotional support of a man, no girlfriend can fill it. … I do need a man. I want a man and I need a man … and I want that emotional support.” (53:07, 54:08)

“What I’m Going Through and Growing Through” (55:08 – 57:27)

Crystal: Working on letting men lead, letting go of control, and preparing her heart for partnership. Quiana: “I’m growing through my personal relationship battles ... I’m allowing God to grow me...at the end of all this, I’m going to be a much better woman.” (56:42 – 57:08)

“Keep It ______, Sweetie” (57:37 – 59:37)

• Crystal: “Keep it private, sweetie. ... What you really love, you protect.” (57:46, 58:13)
• Quiana: “Keep it real, sweetie. ... A mask that you walk around with will always eventually fall off. So keep it real, sweetie.” (59:09, 59:16)

Closing Words

Deep thanks and mutual admiration between Crystal and Quiana, with a powerful reminder to stay real, nurture faith, and protect what (and who) you love.

Connect with Quiana Watson:

• kianawatson.com
• Instagram: @kianawatson
• Real estate: Watson Realty Co (Atlanta area)
• Agent Tools for Success (online real estate academy)

This episode is a raw, inspiring, and honest exploration of the complexities alpha women face—balancing ambition, softness, faith, and the desire for love and fulfillment. If you’re seeking encouragement, validation, or wisdom for your own journey, this conversation resonates with empathy, practical advice, and true sisterhood.