Can An Alpha Female Have It All w/ Quiana Watson?

Summary

Keep It Positive, Sweetie

Episode: Can An Alpha Female Have It All? w/ Quiana Watson
Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett
Guest: Quiana Watson
Date: December 19, 2023

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Keep It Positive, Sweetie" explores whether the modern “Alpha Female” can truly have it all—balancing career, relationships, self-care, and more. Host Crystal Renee Hayslett welcomes her close friend, powerhouse real estate broker and entrepreneur Quiana Watson, for a candid, deeply personal conversation. Together, they dissect what it means to be an alpha woman, the challenges of partnership, faith, healing, and their personal journeys through love and self-discovery.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining the Alpha Female—Leadership, Not Masculinity

• Timestamp: 02:38 – 03:39
• Quiana clarifies misconceptions about the term “Alpha Female.”
• Quiana: “Alpha means leader. Alpha means someone that is in charge. But that doesn’t mean that this person is walking around with masculine energy.” (03:38)
• Emphasizes that being an alpha woman doesn’t negate femininity or the desire for softness in intimate relationships.

2. Can Women “Have It All”—At the Same Time?

• Timestamp: 04:55 – 05:07
• Quiana: “I don’t think so. Not at the same time. I don’t think that you can have it all at the same time.” (05:02)
• Balancing ambition with relationships and family is extraordinarily complicated; something often has to give.
• Many women, including Quiana, find that single-minded focus on career can unintentionally sideline relationships and intimacy.
• Crystal: “When you’re laser-focused on a goal, you don’t see anything else.” (06:34)
• The two discuss how societal expectations and social media amplify the pressure and create misleading highlight reels.

3. Journey of Self-Reflection and Accountability

• Timestamp: 08:45 – 10:23
• Quiana describes hitting a personal low, going back through calendars and archives to realize she was obsessively focused on her work, neglecting intimate relationships.
• Quiana: “If you were on the receiving end of this, how would you have handled it?” (09:10)
• Realizes the need for communication—something her former partner wasn’t comfortable initiating, but which she now recognizes is vital.

4. Growth, Change, and the Cost of Ambition

• Timestamp: 10:23 – 12:03
• Quiana shares the challenges that came with evolving during her 10-year marriage. Ambition and growth can be threatening or isolating to a partner if not navigated carefully.
• On gender roles: “Women, we’re not designed to work hard forever. It doesn’t work well for our mental, it doesn’t work well for our physical bodies.” (11:29)
• She reflects on missing subtle relationship cues and wishes she had balanced things more.

5. Faith, Grace, and Healing Through Hardship

• Timestamp: 13:55 – 15:32
• Both women discuss how adversity brought them closer to God.
• Quiana: “You cannot hear God if you are not doing the work. ... Sometimes we want what we want so bad, and maybe God doesn’t want that for you.” (15:27, 15:33)
• Emphasizes therapy and faith as joint tools for healing and growth.

6. Public vs. Private Life—The Cost of Transparency

• Timestamp: 16:12 – 18:11
• Quiana talks about the fallout from making relationship hardships public on social media, the dangers of exposure, and learning to keep private matters protected.
• Her decision to “delete Close Friends and subscribers,” realizing “my life is not up for sale.” (18:02, 18:11)
• Importance of controlling the narrative and protecting what you love.

7. Forgiveness and Moving Forward

• Timestamp: 25:22 – 27:07
• Quiana admits forgiveness is a journey: “The closer I get to the forgiveness part, the lighter I feel. ... If you cannot truly forgive someone, how can you expect God to forgive you?” (25:25, 26:35)
• Differentiates between forgiveness and reconciliation: “Forgiveness is one thing, and reconciliation is another. So I’m working on the forgiveness part now. Because I gotta forgive, or it’s going to eat me up.” (26:36)

8. Motherhood: Choices, Pressures, and Realities

• Timestamp: 27:12 – 29:51
• Crystal and Quiana discuss the experience of being career-driven women in their 40s without children.
• Quiana shares fertility struggles: birth control’s long-term effects, IVF experiences, and societal assumptions.
• Advice to younger women: “If you are in your early 20s, mid-20s, early 30s… and you say ‘I don’t know if I want to have a child’ and you’re financially able, please go freeze your eggs…” (28:45)
• Accepts the possibility of being “just us, too”—acknowledging the layers of making peace with whichever path life takes.

9. Building and Leading in Business as an Alpha Female

• Timestamp: 32:45 – 40:55
• Quiana tells her real estate story, emphasizing integrity, process, and care for clients and agents.
• Importance of being a present, intentional leader: “Start how you want to finish.” (35:47)
• The challenges and pressures when your name is on the door: “You have to change when your level of responsibility changes. To whom much is given, much is required.” (39:39)

10. Difficult Leadership Decisions—Letting People Go

• Timestamp: 41:25 – 45:00
• Quiana on firing agents and assistants: “You have to put your own oxygen mask on first.” (43:23)
• Shares the necessity of trimming and refocusing for both joy and income, even when it means letting producing agents go.
• Handles departures with integrity: “I gave everybody all their deals back. And I did it in the best way. But it wasn’t about them. ... It was about me.” (44:03)

11. Navigating Gendered Double Standards in Leadership

• Timestamp: 45:36 – 46:56
• Explores how an assertive woman is labeled as “cold” or “a bitch,” while men are celebrated.
• Quiana (quoting Beyoncé): “In business, being polite does not mix. ... You can be fair, but when you’re out here being polite, you’re being unfair to yourself.” (46:33)

12. Looking Forward: Lessons for 2024

• Timestamp: 47:02 – 48:13
• Slowing down, enjoying the little things, nurturing faith, and being more intentional.
• “I want to move slower ... and I want to spend more time enjoying the little things.” (47:58)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Not Having It All at Once

• Quiana: “I don’t think you can have it all at the same time.” (05:03)

On Self-Reflection and Accountability

• Quiana: “If you were on the other side, would you have felt neglected?” (09:10)

On Forgiveness

• Quiana: “If you cannot truly forgive someone, how can you expect God to forgive you?” (26:35)

On Private vs. Public Life

• Quiana: “My life is not up for sale. ... If I can’t post it freely, then I shouldn’t be posting it.” (18:02, 18:11)
• Crystal: “What you really love, you protect.” (58:13)

On Gender Roles and Letting Men Lead

• Quiana: “Sometimes we get so independent ... you gotta learn to let these men lead...” (52:49)
• Crystal: “You don’t have to be a damsel in distress… But I do know it’s important to let the man feel like he is needed in the relationship.” (52:20)

On Leadership and Pressure

• Quiana: “You have to change when your level of responsibility changes. To whom much is given, much is required.” (39:39)

On Moving Forward

• Quiana: “So I want to go into 2024 slowing down… and I want to spend more time enjoying the little things.” (47:58)

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• 00:09 – 01:51: Opening, friendship bonding, setting up the “alpha woman” theme.
• 03:38 – 05:07: Defining “alpha female” and if women can “have it all”.
• 08:45 – 10:23: Self-reflection after relationship struggles.
• 13:55 – 15:33: Faith and healing after betrayal.
• 16:12 – 18:11: On keeping parts of life private after going public.
• 25:22 – 27:07: Forgiveness and personal healing.
• 27:12 – 29:51: Motherhood, career, and IVF journey.
• 32:45 – 40:55: The path to building a real estate empire, leadership style.
• 41:25 – 45:00: Making difficult business decisions for personal wellbeing.
• 47:02 – 48:13: Goals and intentions for the new year.
• 58:01 – 59:37: “Keep it private, sweetie.” & “Keep it real, sweetie.” segment.

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“Positive Outcomes” Listener Letter Segment (51:15 – 54:55)

Question: Listener, 41, career-driven and hyper-independent, asks if she should “play the damsel in distress” to not intimidate men.

Crystal: “You don’t have to be a damsel in distress … But I do know it’s important to let the man feel like he is needed in the relationship.” (52:20)

Quiana: “You gotta learn to let these men lead … the emotional support of a man, no girlfriend can fill it. … I do need a man. I want a man and I need a man … and I want that emotional support.” (53:07, 54:08)

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“What I’m Going Through and Growing Through” (55:08 – 57:27)

Crystal: Working on letting men lead, letting go of control, and preparing her heart for partnership. Quiana: “I’m growing through my personal relationship battles ... I’m allowing God to grow me...at the end of all this, I’m going to be a much better woman.” (56:42 – 57:08)

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“Keep It ______, Sweetie” (57:37 – 59:37)

• Crystal: “Keep it private, sweetie. ... What you really love, you protect.” (57:46, 58:13)
• Quiana: “Keep it real, sweetie. ... A mask that you walk around with will always eventually fall off. So keep it real, sweetie.” (59:09, 59:16)

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Closing Words

Deep thanks and mutual admiration between Crystal and Quiana, with a powerful reminder to stay real, nurture faith, and protect what (and who) you love.

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Connect with Quiana Watson:

• kianawatson.com
• Instagram: @kianawatson
• Real estate: Watson Realty Co (Atlanta area)
• Agent Tools for Success (online real estate academy)

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This episode is a raw, inspiring, and honest exploration of the complexities alpha women face—balancing ambition, softness, faith, and the desire for love and fulfillment. If you’re seeking encouragement, validation, or wisdom for your own journey, this conversation resonates with empathy, practical advice, and true sisterhood.

Transcript

[A]

Hello, and welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie. I'm Krystal Renee Hayslett, and today I have with me my dear, dear, dear friend, Keanna Watson.

[B]

Hi, y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

We got Kiana Watson on the sofa. Oh, my goodness. I've been trying to get you here. You're so busy.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So thank you for even today. You came in on the phone, honey, coming in hot, closing deals.

[B]

Always. Thank you for having me.

[C]

Of course.

[B]

It's such a great vibe with you, always. So I look forward to us having a chat like we always do. Like we always do.

[A]

Listen, we always make time for each other. You're like, okay, girl, we gotta get on the calendar.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Cause we're so busy. So that's one thing I love about you. You're so committed to making sure that you have time with your girls.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

And it's like we go through our calendar. Have you ever seen that meme that says, look at two people in business, and all they do is check their calendars for their availability? It may take us about an hour, but we come up with a date and time. We do, and we stick to it. And I love that.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

Cause you'll be like, what about this? And I'm like, no, that don't work. What about this? No, that don't work. You're like, all right, what about this one? You're like, that one works. And you're like, all right, this is it.

[B]

And I like the intentionality, because, like, when we get with each other, we try to not touch our phones and not be on our phones so we can really engage and connect in that time. And it's just a perfect. It's always a perfect setting for us.

[A]

So.

[B]

Yeah. You're a good friend.

[A]

You are too. I love you. When I think about you, Keon, I always start the show with a song or a quote, and when I think about you, I think about how you are. So what you see is what you get. Like, there's no fakeness about you. You're very matter of fact. And the quote that comes to mind is, find out who you are and do it on purpose.

[B]

Ooh, I love that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I really feel like you're one of my friends where every day you wake up, you wake up with purpose.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And you are one of the most go getter women I know.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Which is why today we're gonna talk about, can the alpha woman have it all? Because I know for me, as an alpha woman, I have gotten to A point where I say, well, maybe I can have it all, you know, because in my life, love that one area always seems to kind of fall short.

[D]

Right.

[A]

You got your list and you're like, well, I got this, I got that, I got that. All right, Lord, I got everything else. Where's the man? Where's the love?

[B]

So I thought you were the perfect.

[A]

Person to bring on. You are just so amazing. And what we can talk. I know we can talk about this forever.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Let me start by saying this. I think when people hear the word alpha, I want any male that's hearing this does not mean non feminine. All right? Alpha means leader. Alpha means someone that is in charge. But that doesn't mean that this person is walking around with masculine energy. And I feel like that's the immediate thing that a man thinks when you say alpha anything. And I want to debunk that immediately because as I navigate my business, you know, I am in a male dominated field, you know, running a real estate brokerage and doing this, all the other things I do. But when I come home, I don't want to. I want to be feminine. I want to be soft. I want to be able to have someone tell me what we're having for dinner or what the plans are. Make plans, and let me just walk into that soft energy. So an Alpha female is someone that definitely dominates in their life, in their world. And I think even in your personal life, you want to. You have. You have a direction, you want to take it, but that doesn't necessarily mean you won't allow a person to lead you.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's so true.

[B]

And let's like having it.

[D]

All right.

[B]

I think that that was. I think it's such a profound statement.

[D]

Right.

[B]

This year has been a very rocky year for me in my personal life.

[D]

Right.

[B]

And I said if I was going to talk about this with anybody, I was listening to a sermon. And it. Y' all have these public relationships and you want everybody to fall in love with you when really you're sharing the highlight reel of your life.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

And then when something devastating happens, you get quiet, you close up. And I think that, you know, it does. Everyone's looking like, now you don't want to tell us what happened.

[A]

Right. You didn't share everything.

[B]

You know, you shared everything else. And I'll start off with the immediate thing. I think that we all have to have time to process before we share.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

You know, and I think in the world of social media, I think that we have to be careful with how we share, because there's more people involved than just the two people or the nosy people that want to be nosy or the people that could be praying and cheering you on. Sometimes you have to say, this is an app. My real life has to matter first. Let me figure. Let me digest this and take my time and work through this in my real life. And now I can publicly address it.

[D]

Right.

[B]

So can we have it all? I'm gonna be. I don't think so. Not at the same time. I don't think that you can have it all at the same time.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I don't think you can have it all at the same time.

[A]

Why do you think that? Because I know you have way more experience in this area than I do, so I'm definitely curious because I want these answers myself.

[B]

Yeah. I think that when I look at. I work with a lot of women that are married, and they also have children and they want to have these incredible careers. And. And when I look at my career, I don't have children. I have a dog. And when I was married and I. In that situation, it felt supportive. So I was able to just focus on my work.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And just stay focused on my work. And by doing that, you know, I would say this year, with the challenges I faced in my relationship, I feel like a lot of that came because I was too busy.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

And, you know, as a woman, when you're going around and, you know, I'm on these stages, like you've attended, you gracefully came to one of my online training events.

[D]

Right.

[B]

And you saw firsthand. It's like, I'm standing in line, I'm taking pictures for an hour.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And the person you're with, it's like at that time, they're no longer that person's name. They become the wife of that. The husband of that person.

[D]

Right.

[B]

I've had people say that in my prior relationship. They were like, oh, you are Kiana's husband.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Like, almost like he loses identity.

[B]

They lose their identity. And it's not what you do as a person. It's just that you have this notoriety and you're growing and you're ascending. And, you know, I don't know about you, but when I'm laser focused on a goal, I don't see anything else.

[A]

I'm tunnel vision to the fullest. No, literally, it's bad.

[B]

And so when you don't see anything else, you can feel like everything is great around you. And unless someone verbally tick points, pulls you to the side and say, listen, I'm not happy here. Which most men don't.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

They want you to feel them or see them.

[D]

Right.

[B]

They want you to see how they feel or you should be in tune with me. So nobody's pulling you to the side and you think everything is great, and you wake up like, oh, it's not. Oh, wow. I. You know, the first thing I did when I recognized, like, my relationship is in trouble.

[D]

Right.

[B]

I looked at my. I went through my life.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I went through my phone, I went through my archive stories, my art. I was like, what was I doing on this day? What have I been doing for the last couple years? Getting on planes, speaking on panels, selling houses, working from sun up to sundown, going to all the big stuff.

[D]

Right.

[B]

I have my person with me. So I think, well, you're with me. You're with me, but they're not really with you because that's not intimate time. Those are. That's your stage time. Think about that. When we're at events, and I love everybody that loves me. I love y' all back.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But when we're at these events, that's stage time. It's not intimate time.

[A]

It's not. Not with your person, it's not.

[B]

And so I do think that when you are building whatever, you're building a career as a woman, I do not think you can have it all at one time. You're going to have to decide what's most important to you.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What? In that moment when you said you realized my relationship is in trouble, what were some of those hard conversations that you had to have? Because a lot of you said, a lot of times men are not gonna tell you, hey, this is what I need. You need to be in tune with me. And I think a lot of women do that too. We sit around, we're like, you should just know.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, and communicating is so, like, important in relationships.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

What was that moment like? And what were some of those hard conversations where you even had to look within self to say, oh, dang. When you said you went through the calendar, you went through your Instagram, like, where was I? Like, oh, I really have just been focused on my work. What were some of those conversations like.

[B]

For me, when I started to look through my schedule and I'm adding up these timelines and I'm, you know, I'm obsessive with everything. So whatever. Whatever it is, I became obsessed with it. And I said to myself, I was too busy. I was too busy focusing on what I wanted to gain. I just now became intentional, even with my friendships.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I was too busy focusing on building my career. And I'm like, okay, well, they see what I'm doing, they can wait. So that hard conversation was, if you were on the other side, if you were on the receiving end of this, how would you have handled it? Would you have felt neglected? And when I asked myself those questions, the only difference is I would have felt neglected, but I would have communicated that neglect.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I would have communicated it. I wouldn't have let it fester. But that's because it's a level of communication that I have and maturity that I have about life and change. But I would have absolutely felt neglected, though. I would have. So I asked myself that hard question. We've been in therapy, we talked through it, and what it comes down to is you grow. I was in a 10 year marriage. You grow and you change as a person when you're with somebody, but if they are only remembering who you were and they don't want to grow and they don't want to see you grow into this person because this person is no longer as available as catering, as attentive. So it's not that they don't want you to ascend, they don't want you to go away from them.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's almost inevitable as you continue to ascend, you're getting further away. And either they're gonna have to choose to be supportive and be your biggest cheerleader, or they're going to feel that insecurity and neglect.

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I think I know that's what happened in my relationship. And when I look at other women and they're married or they're in a relationship or they have a kid, I see that they choose. They work less.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

They spend more time with their children, they spend more time with their husband. That is why, when you think about it, you know, as women, we started this soft girl era. You know how we started this soft girl era? Because even me, how I am in this space I am today, I don't want to work as hard as I work to build. Now that I work, I want to be able to enjoy what I've built. And now I want someone to take control. That's why I do feel like gender roles, even though they're hybrid a little, they should still be separate. Because I do recognize that women, we're not designed to work hard forever. It doesn't work well for our mental, it doesn't work well for our physical bodies. And I do think that when you're looking at having a relationship and you are building a career, I built a very. I built a great career. I have no. And I say this all the time. I don't have any regrets about building my career, but I wish that I would have been able to go back and say, okay, let me pay a little bit more attention, even though I didn't get the proper communication.

[A]

Right. Right. You know, I want to know what that process was like internally for you, because I feel like I saw the whole thing play out. How you got to the point of doing the self reflection and realizing, okay, these are the things that I did to play a part in this. But I'm not excusing the behavior that he did.

[B]

Absolutely. A lot of that is journaling. I started to journal every single morning. I wrote down my thoughts, doing the research on my life and saying, okay, this is what your focus was on right now. Person may have never said anything or may not have complained and didn't really tell you their feelings, but as a person, would you want that done to you? And then when I thought about it, I'm like, I'm not excusing the behavior, but I'm taking accountability. Because as I progress in this life, I have not given up on love. I believe in partnership. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I believe that you want to have that one person that is your person. And because I've experienced it and how beautiful it can feel, I don't want to block it again. And I want to be able to recognize the signs within myself and what I'm doing if I ever get back in a relationship and position someone the wrong way. Right.

[D]

Right.

[B]

So I can take accountability for my actions by saying, I made these decisions and I don't, and moving forward, this is the difference. But I don't excuse what you did. So to not excuse what you did, you got to go through your own healing. That means your own therapy. You know, we can go to church, but we need both. We need therapy and church. Let's mix it together. It's a combination. And then we need to be able to eloquently communicate our thoughts. So that's how you can have accountability without excusing, because you're watching the person do the hard work while you're doing the hard work as well.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's good. And that's powerful. I've noticed, and I know we talk about everything, but one thing I notice is that this situation has brought you both closer to God, Absolutely. You started the year coming to church. You're like, I'm in church. And with everything that's going on, that's the one thing that neither one of you have veered from. It's almost brought you closer to God.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, what has that walk been like? And even just growing closer to God and even helping you? Because I think sometimes when we're not in tune with God, it's easy for us to just push people away.

[B]

Oh, it is.

[A]

But when we've learned the grace of God, then we start to look inward and see through people, through God's eyes. What has that process been like for you guys?

[B]

The process has been difficult.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Because what happens is, as much as you want to walk with God and you saying that God is walking with me, we live on this earth and we're dealing with the adversity of other people's opinions, and then we have to look in the mirror and we have to deal with our own ego, our own pride. And it has been a very difficult walk. And as I always say, God will do exceedingly and abundantly. You know, I always talk. Talk that verse to myself, because I'm like, he can. He can. He's a healer.

[A]

He can.

[B]

If I want this, if I truly want to work through it, if we're willing to do the work, eventually it will happen.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But I'm in a place where I want to make sure I've done the work. Because I don't feel like you can hear God if you are not doing the work.

[A]

You can't.

[B]

Because obviously sometimes we want what we want so bad, and maybe God doesn't want that for you.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Oh, I've been there.

[B]

You know, it's like, we want it so bad. We want to. We want to put God's scriptures on our own decisions because we want it so bad. You know, I'm a human. Do I want my life where I'm like, yeah, this is my man, my man, my man. Look at this picture, y'. All. We just took a script. Like, I want that. You know, I want what I thought I had. I want that back. So as bad as I want it back, I know that it's. I'm in a season that I need to hear God, and I want God to speak through me. Speak through him and we'll know. We will know if we decide to walk this path again, that it is the right path and God is in the center of it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Beautiful. I remember your husband made it public that he had done something and you woke up, you didn't even know he was gonna do it.

[B]

No.

[A]

What was that? Like when you wake up in the morning now, like, you know, Cause I woke up, I said, erp. I said, what? This is what we doing. What was that? Like when you wake up, you know what I'm saying? And you're like, oh, wow, he's made this public now, you know, not giving details, but like he let it be known that he had done something wrong.

[B]

This is the thing, I think for me, I was so. I was so blindsided and angry. I was both. So I was blindsided and angry about what took place. And so as I'm feeling like, forget this, this is over forever, we never gonna talk again. You know, I had everybody, if you have Instagram, it's called Close Friends, and then you have a subscription.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So I had a subscription that we started when we went on our 10 year anniversary trip. And I'm like, well, I'm gonna share it in my subscription.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you gonna pay to see this content. Right. We're in St. Barts. Right. And I kept it, but I never would go back in it. So I was like, I'm on this healing journey. I'm gonna go on my subscription, I'm gonna tell them, hey, Anthony did these things and he did these things and you know, I'm gonna take you guys on my healing journey and blah, blah, blah. And this was like I was in the middle of the funk of it. Like, I'm gonna show them. I'm back outside. I'm going to make more money, sell more houses, build more houses. Like I'm. I feel like, you know, like the green gym, like that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then the dust settled, things calmed down a little bit.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I said, you know, it just. Something hit me one day. I remember I told you, I said, I don't want a Close Friends and I don't want a subscriber.

[A]

You sure did.

[B]

My life is not up for sale. And I deleted my subscribers, I deleted Close Friends because I feel like if I can't post it freely, then I shouldn't be posting it.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

Right?

[B]

And when I did that, this was before him, and I even decided to talk again or even talked about reconciliation. And then, you know, of course, a few people caught wind of that video and you know how bad news spreads fast. And you're doing this to Kiana. You did that. And I think it was so many opinions coming at him.

[D]

Right.

[B]

And here we are, you know, trying our best, like we're going to church. We're trying our best. He's talking to my mom, you know, and I think he felt the need to just say, with all this going on, you know, the good thing about being popular and attractive and likable is so many people love you, but then so many people see in you what they did not accomplish within themselves. And so instead of people looking and saying, this girl is going through it, this man did something that hurt her, and I'm going to pray for her. Yes, I got attacked. You know, I had people truly, like, wanting to make it my fault of whatever he did. And I think that for him, it was like, if I can't do anything else, I can at least try to defend her, you know, I can at least try to at least say this, because I'm. I'm getting. How can you get it? How is it that you are attacked and you are the person that got hurt? You know? But I recognize that these are broken people, and hurt people want to hurt people. And when you're broken and you're hurt and, you know, it's like, oh, she portrayed this perfect life. I didn't portray a perfect life. I showed you highlights of my life, and you portray. You said it was perfect. I never said that. You know, I grew up in the South. My mom said, house business is house business. So let me tell you something, and let me tell you something else. I'm never going to truly share everything, because I did. I wasn't raised that way. We was when we were really raised that way, and it's just. It's in me. That's why I don't do too many personal podcasts. That's why I don't do too many personal events. It's all business for me, unless you're a really close friend, you know? And so I think that for him, that's what I think he wanted to at least say, let me defend her in this way. That's the least I can do.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I know. That definitely caught us all off guard. I'm close to both of you. Anthony's helped renovate my home with his team, and you two have built this amazing business together, and I want to speak to that, too. I had called you one day before all this had happened, and I said, hey. I was like, I'm looking for a general contractor. The one I had is charging way too much. He said, oh, Anthony can do it. He's like, he's got a team. I said, okay, cool. Then all this happened, and we went to Miami. I went to Miami. And you were like, I'm coming.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So you come. And you were like, oh, girl, I gotta get outta here. And I was like, if you don't want me to work with him, let me know. And he was like, no, I do not want him to lose any clients. And in that moment, you were so broken, but your heart posture was still. I don't want to take anything away from this man.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And I said, my God, like, that spoke volumes to why I love you as my friend and the type of person that you are and the integrity that you have to be at your lowest, but still not want to see the person that caused the pain to you suffer in any kind of way.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I was like, my goodness. I was like, if I could take anything away from this whole situation, it's just how you handled it with so much grace. You really did.

[B]

And I say that and I tell people God has been carrying. You know, it's intentional. I remember we went to that basketball game and I said, I'm looking for a good church. And you said, go to change church. And I started going. And I have been out of town, I've been out the country, but I will either be on my cell phone and watch it. I'll watch the replay, or attend in person. And I think I want to say that diligence in getting really connected and having someone to be a vessel to really give me that. Give me that word.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And allow me to. And want me to yearn for more. So I research on my own and started opening my own Bible and ordering books and ordering things to help me pray through what I'm going through. I will say that is what has carried me through this because I tell people, you can be. You can literally be broke, but you cannot be broken.

[D]

Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So as much as the situation broke me, it didn't break me.

[A]

That's a message.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

It did not break me. I was able to still function.

[A]

You were?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm grateful for that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's beautiful. During this journey, I know it's taken a lot of self reflection. What have you learned about Keyonna through all this?

[B]

I've learned that I can definitely be a little selfish when it comes to what I want and how I see things. So actually being open to other people and allowing everyone to feel seen is something that's important to me. I think also through this situation, what I've learned is you can love people and you can have people close to you, but you have to be the alpha and the omega of your own life and your own decisions. And I've learned that I'm not easily influenced by other people's opinions. I'm like, you can think what you want, but I'm gonna do what I want. And I love that about me because I know that at the end of this life that I have. And I tell people this story all the time. You know, my dad, he passed away from cancer. He was only 52, and he did not. He had sarcoma cancer, which is cancer of the soft tissues. They removed a 17 pound tumor. He went through everything. He got better, and then he immediately got worse and passed away in like a year and a half.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Oh, my goodness.

[B]

And he didn't want to suffer. And at the end of his days, when I was spending time with him, he reminded me to live my life unapologetically. He reminded me that you need to make sure that you live this life for you. And I'm reminded of that every time I have to make a difficult decision. Every time I have to face some adversity, I'm like, this is my one life.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And as long as I'm internally happy and I'm pleasing God, I don't care what you, you or you think about that. So that's one thing I learned, is my strength in that. And then I want to say my best trait that I've learned is now I'm very intentional. Yeah, I am very intentional about checking in.

[A]

You are.

[B]

With everything I'm talking about from spending time with my nieces, my nephew, my mom, my friends, you know, even in my business, making sure I feel like it softened me. Yeah, It's. The situation has softened me. Like, I check into my team more. I check into everybody more because I recognize that being that one, like, being on that train and just pushing forward, it's a lonely ride if you don't have people with you.

[A]

That is so true. That is so true. And with all that, what has this process taught you about forgiveness? I know that's a tough thing to do sometimes when you're the one that was hurt.

[B]

I'm still forgiving. I'm still forgiving. I give myself the grace. But I do know this. The closer I get to the forgiveness part, the lighter I feel. The lighter, the better my days are.

[D]

Right.

[B]

You know, the easier it is for me to enjoy my life fully. Joy from within, Right? That glow that you can. Someone's like, I can see that glow. It's coming because I'm allowing myself to say you have to forgive what you can't forget. And there was someone actually gifted me a book. It said, learning to forgive what you can't forget. And she gifted me this book, and I started to read it, and I'm working to finish it, and I plan to finish it through the holiday season. Because what I recognize, if you cannot truly forgive someone, how can you expect God to forgive you? Because none of us are perfect. We have done imperfect things in this world. I have done so many imperfect things. I have made so many decisions that I feel like, dang, that was a terrible decision, or I was a terrible friend, or I was a terrible sister or a terrible daughter. And if I want God to forgive me, I'm going to have to forgive that person.

[D]

Right.

[B]

So forgiveness is one thing, and then reconciliation is another. So I'm working on the forgiveness of part now. Because I gotta forgive.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or it's going to eat me up.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And I don't want that.

[A]

PD talked about that at church on Sunday, saying that a lot of times forgiveness isn't about the other person. It's about your own healing.

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

And that's so true.

[B]

It is. So forgiveness is something I'm still working on, but it's a. It's. I take it a day at a time, and I recognize my feelings and I talk through them.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And that has helped me towards that forgiveness journey.

[C]

Yeah. So good.

[A]

I think something that you and I both have discussed and that we have in common is that we're in our 40s but have not had children yet.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Do you feel like, because your career was just taking off, that that was something that you just put on the back burner, or did you not even want to have children? What was the decision in that?

[B]

It's a lot of factors in that. That's like a. That is a layered question. I'll say. When I first got married, I was on birth control, so most people assume, oh, she can't have kids. It's like, child. I was on the depo shot before I got married. I stayed on the depot shot. I didn't have a period for almost seven years because the depo shot took it away. And I was enjoying my life. So that's when I met my husband and when we were. When we got married.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So then when it was time to, like, okay, do you want to have kids? So I get off the shot. Yes. And they get off the shot. They do all these tests. And it took me a whole year and a half to start having a Cycle again.

[A]

Oh, wow. What did you have to do to start? You just had to wait.

[B]

They just said you had to wait and you had to take. It was like your progesterone levels were off and all that stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And so they were like, take these vitamins. Take that. And so then once everything started to even out, you know, we start having these testing. So we're taking tests. I'm getting my tests, and he's getting his test. And I'll say, with respect to a little bit of our privacy, it's always. Sometimes it's both people or sometimes it's one person. The assumption is always that it's the woman.

[D]

Right.

[B]

That's going to be the easiest thing to assume. But in my situation, that's not the case right now. You know, my eggs are geriatric. They gonna tell you that, child.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Can I just say a disclaimer. If you are in your early 20s, mid-20s, early 20s, late early 30s, and you say, I don't know if I want to have a child and you're financially able, please go freeze your eggs, because by the time you get over 35, they will call them geriatric. I don't care how good you look, you can drink all the green tea, eat all the salad. Your eggs are geriatric.

[A]

And I hate that word, but it's true. It's like they literally just put me in the grave. I'm like, yes. I'm like, oh, God, my.

[B]

And so when that happens, I think that I came to terms with it. We went through an IVF cycle. It was unsuccessful. And I was like, well, we have a beautiful life. You love me. We have a dog, we travel. I'm a great aunt, you know, you already have a daughter, so everything is beautiful. I don't. I'm indifferent.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm indifferent about having a kid now because now I don't necessarily want to commit to going through the process again and having that type of failure or blow come again.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I would say it was a combination of all of it. And I came to that conclusion at the end. Like, I don't. You know, if. As long as it's us, like, you know how, like, Mr. Big and Carrie was. It's like me and you, just. Us, too.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I was fine with that. You know, and that's just a decision that it's a lot of. It's like I said, it's a lot of caveats that come with that. There's a lot of layers. And in my situation, it's not just that my eggs are geriatric. It's the person that I want to conceive with also has. And so that is how it all kind of rolls.

[A]

Right. Did that affect you guys in any way, or did you both agree, like, we love each other and we.

[C]

Good.

[B]

We both agree that we loved each other and we were good. And then it's like. But now, as we're going through our challenges, it's like, maybe we want to revisit it. Maybe you want to see what can be done. And so we shall see.

[A]

You know, that's good. I love that. I know a lot of people talk about freezing eggs, and you've gone through the whole in vitro process.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What was that like? Because I've never done it. I'm actually scared because I've heard a lot of different stories about it.

[B]

I want to say, if you're scared, if you're afraid of needles, you're going to have a hard time. And you feel. I kind of felt like a lone scientist because there are certain things you have to mix yourself.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Everything is not premixed, so certain things you're going to have to watch a little video and mix it and put it. Yeah. So then when you get everything set up and, you know, get your. Get into your flow and you don't mind sticking yourself.

[A]

Is it like a needle, like, that's just poking out of it? Is it like. Is it inside a cartridge that you just punch or.

[B]

Yeah, it's like it's the cartridge. Cartridge needle.

[A]

Okay. So not the one where you can see the needle and you're, like, sticking it in yourself, or it's like you just go like this and punch it.

[B]

You just go like that and punch it. Okay, so you're gonna have to punch it and. But it changed my one. Of course I got bloated. Everybody, I think they get bloated.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But beyond being bloated, it changed my temperament. Like, literally, I became a completely different temperament because, again, when I'm in work mode and we had just launched Watson Realty Co, and I was having a team meeting, and I am. I do not cry for real like that. I started crying to my agent because I was like, this is my first agent. I'll never forget Kierra, my very first admin. She's still my agent being with me to this day. And I was like, you have to sell at least this dollar amount. It was a certain dollar amount I needed her to sell. And I started crying, and I think she was looking at me, like, what is going on? And I was like, is this even me? It's like watching yourself in an out of body experience, and you're experiencing emotions that, you know, normally you wouldn't have. And I think that those are the two that will be the biggest thing. Forget the bloating. I wear a bigger shirt. But not being able to control my emotions, especially in the business field, that was the biggest thing that I would say watch out for when you go through it. Don't be in a position where you gotta make a lot of hard decisions quickly.

[C]

Yeah, that's good.

[A]

That's good. I wanna switch gears a little bit and talk about Watson Realty Co and how we met. Yes. I met you in 2017 when I was purchasing my first home.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And we were like four houses in now.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You have been with me every single step of the way. And it's grown way past being my realtor. But I remember not knowing anything. My friend Siobhan, she was like, oh, my boyfriend at the time, he knows a realtor. Her name is Kiana. And I was like, okay, well, give me your information. Is she black? And she was like, yes, perfect. And we met and we ended up finding this townhouse that I just loved. And it ended up being one of your preferred lenders. Was their preferred lender. So we, like, didn't have any closing. It was like $5,000 towards your closing costs. All these things just lining up. And I remember we got to the house and the person who was doing the open house said, well, somebody's already left to go get their earnest money. Kiana literally was like, all right, well, we'll wait. And she's like, we're gonna go get our earnest money. We're gonna come back and we're gonna wait. And the person never came back. So we gave him our earnest money. And while we were. Once we came back with the earnest check, you literally sat with me at that dining room table and read the entire contract with me so that I understood it and explained it to me.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Which makes sense why you do Agent Tools for Success now. Because you want people to understand what they're signing up for.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

There were no. When I got the house, it was. First of all, it was seamless because of you. But I also learned so much during that process. Because you weren't just trying to get a check.

[B]

No.

[A]

And that was before you had your own brokerage. So you always taking this serious. So for anybody who may be watching that wants to be a realtor, can you Kind of walk me through the process of what even made you want to be a realtor and what that journey was like.

[B]

Okay. When I first got my real estate license, I just thought, I'm just going to be successful. I'm good with people. I can make this work.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But it wasn't till I spent some time in property management that I got a better understanding of reading through documents and interpreting. Interpreting those and running reports and understanding the market. So when I really jumped into real estate full time, and that was in 2015, September 2015, what I recognized is that I have a certain way that people trust me.

[D]

Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like people come around me and. Because I've always been hungry and not thirsty. And let me tell you the difference. Let me tell you the difference. The difference is I can take my time with you. I can show you six houses. I can show you 10 houses. I can show you one, and I can make sure you understand what you're doing and understand every step of the way. And so I'm big on putting together processes. So I'm like, well, let me write this down so that way they can understand it. Or let me break this down in layman's terms. So in comparison to what they see on this contract, this makes sense to them. And I just started to run my business that way because you never know where someone is going to lead you. And I always tell people, start how you want to finish.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Start how you want to finish. And so if your future, if you. I think for me, when it came to real estate, I recognized that one. I love houses, I love people, and I love winning.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So when you have that salesmanship, you're going to enjoy this business because it's beyond the customer service. The same way. The woman there, she wanted us to increase our offer while we were waiting for the other offer. And I'm like, I'm not gonna increase nothing. I'm gonna save you some money. So we can wait here until the doors close at 6. And now the doors are closed. You're gonna take this offer at this price and everything worked out. So you have to enjoy sales, and then you have to enjoy people.

[C]

Yeah, well, you definitely do.

[A]

And you made that. You made all the processes so seamless. Even I know I had found a house on Mount Perrin. Tyler actually found the house.

[B]

Oh, Lord.

[A]

And I said, Kiana was like, tyler done found this house. And she goes, all right, well, let me find out whose listing it is. And we went and looked at it, and you're like, it's gonna be a lot of work.

[B]

I was like, hmm, okay. That's a lot.

[A]

A lot of work. And then nine months later, I was like, I can't do this anymore. Cause we got the house, and it was taking forever to get permits. And I called Tyler and I said, hey, I think I found the house I like. And he's like, well, send me pictures of it. So I sent pictures, yes. And then he goes, go get your house. I'll buy the other house, girl. And I said, kiana. I said, I want to go look at this house. She's like, let's go, let's go. And within, like, every time I call you, because I'm the type of person where I may need to see it a few times. Every time I call you, you were right there. Or if t needed to see it, you're like, I'm there. And it was another house.

[B]

We had already. It was another one in the middle.

[A]

Had the offer on.

[B]

And we over there still looking at house. It was a whole nother house. A whole nother house. That house was beautiful.

[A]

That was beautiful.

[B]

It was just position, but it was gorgeous.

[A]

We already had an offer on the other house under contract.

[B]

I believe we was under contract. I said, this girl is crazy. But at the same time, I also recognize. I know. I know Georgia law. I know we're within the time period that she can get her earnest money back. So if you're going to have second thoughts, you need to have them right now before we get past this contingency, which is called the due diligence period, if you guys want to know. So in the state of Georgia, only is that's the only time on the purchase sell agreement that you can terminate without cause. That means you can get your earnest money back. You don't have to have a reason. So I knew we needed that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I. And I felt like this is such a huge purchase, you know, so you want to be as. You want to be extremely happy and extremely sure about that decision. Exactly. So it was. It was. But it's always good touring with you guys. Oh, my God. When Tyler shows up, it's just hilarious. Tyler Perry. Mr. Perry. I like to call him Mr. Perry. I'm like, tyler, it's hilarious because he has on all this stuff. Nobody knows who he is.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, he's. And then the guy we leave, and they're like, is that the Madea guy?

[B]

Right?

[A]

I was like, oh, my gosh.

[B]

And I'm thinking to myself, you may. May maybe you maybe not yeah. And I'm like, he needs to be a realtor at this point.

[A]

No, seriously?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Well, you know, his first passion was architecture. So.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

When we went to that house, he literally sat in this, pulled out a piece of typing paper and started drawing up the plans. And he was like, this is what I want the house to look like to his architect. And I was like, I don't like this house, but I like what you just drew.

[B]

But I want to be here. This is where I want to be.

[A]

You can make this look like this, then we're good. But you've always been there. I just love that. Now, when it comes to actually running your own brokerage, getting to this alpha woman that you are, what is that like? Because you have a beautiful office, you have so many amazing ladies that work under you, that you mentor, that look up to you with such adoration. What is that like on a day to day basis, knowing that you have all these women that are depending on you and your guidance to succeed, and knowing that this business has your name on the front door?

[B]

It's a lot of pressure. You know, I had someone ask me, it was like, it looks like we can't. Like, you've changed. And I'm like, you have to change when your level of responsibility changes. To whom much is given, much is required. You cannot move and operate the same way. You have to be mindful of what you've built, who's looking to you. And these, the agents that work for me, they're full time. Most of them are full time. So under my tutelage, under my brokerage, they're feeding their families, they're taking care of themselves. And what I found is I have. I make sure that I cross my T's and I got my eyes like I've always done. So instead of doing that like with a contract like I did with you, I do that when it comes to my business. I want to make sure we have the right training, the right resources, they're getting the right leadership, and they know that they can. They're looking to someone that not only has done the work, but encourages them throughout the process. And that is what's so important in leadership. People. You have to lead from. From the front.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

When you leave from the front, people will absolutely follow. And that pressure is, you know, pressure sometimes bursts pipes, right? Because sometimes, like, yeah, I just want to be soft, baby. I don't want to worry about none of this.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Y' all go write them emails. Emails. Read yourselves and write yourself.

[A]

But like Just closing the.

[B]

The laptop, slams the slap laptop shut. Right. Sometimes, some days it is like that because you're like, whoa. But at the end of the day, it's rewarding to know that you, what you worked extremely hard for is now coming to fruition and it's being successful and people are receiving it well. So that is something I just. Day to day, I manage it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Now what is it like having to fire somebody? Being the boss, kind of. You grow so close to these women.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And you care about them. What is that? Putting that hat on, like, okay, so.

[B]

I've had to do that. And it's not directly a fire because, well, this is two parts. Okay. I've had to fire some assistants. Those are people that have worked for me. An agent, you just kind of dissolve the relationship. Because they're independent contractors, you can say, listen, I just don't. I no longer want to hold your license here. And I made that tough decision as I was growing this brokerage at the top of the age year. I was like, next thing I blinked and I had like 60 agents. What I'm like, how did this happen?

[D]

Right?

[A]

Because everybody want to work with the Kiana Watson.

[B]

And so there are people coming from other team, people I recruited, because I was thinking I just get more agents and you know, I'm going to do less work. And at the same time, as I'm growing more agents, I'm getting all these development relationships.

[D]

Right?

[B]

So now I'm representing subdivisions. It's no longer one house. Can you talk?

[A]

Say that again.

[B]

Now it's no longer one house. It's a subdivision. That was like 10 houses. You need to list this 15 house community. You need to list this enclave of six houses and they're all new construction. It's a great developer. Thank you to Delphi and Nick and brothers. And through that relationship, now I have like eight different developers that I work with. And I said, oh, I'm being. And I'm very aware of who I am. And I said, okay, I am being pulled. I'm being pulled in a whole lot of directions because now I have all these agents with me and they have their demands. I have my online training academy that has its demand. I have my own book of business. That's a demand. I have the Q Watson team. That's a demand.

[A]

Goodness.

[B]

And then I have Watson Realty Co and all that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I said, you know, I can't. I have to first evaluate what brings me the most joy. And then secondly, what brings me the most Income.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Joy and income was the first two things that, that I calculated. And I said, I have to, I'm gonna have to trim this fat. And they were producing agents. They were, they were producing agents. Shout out to all of them. I'm still really good. Cool with a lot of them. And some of them. I want to say this directly. I don't want you to feel away. It comes to the point where you have to put your own oxygen mask on first. Yep. And when I recognize I'm getting these development relationships, I can't not build this part of my business and cater to the demands that is that they feel are necessary to be a leader in this part of the business. So I made the tough decision to release them respectfully. And I did it in such a respectful way, I gave them back all their listings. Most brokers, when you, you write a contract with a brokerage, even if you leave, that contract is in the name of the brokerage and they get to keep it. And they can release you and keep your contract. They can keep your buyers, they can keep your sellers. It doesn't belong to you because you license. Let's just say you work with me, you get 10 people under contract and it's under Watson Realty Co. And I say, you know what, Crystal, you can no longer work with us. You have to leave. I can release your license. And those are technically my contracts. But that is, that's how the law works. That's why it's a brokerage. It's a pass through. And I gave everybody all their deals integrity. As long as it didn't close. Like within three days of them leaving, I gave them all their deals back. And I did it in the best way. But it wasn't about them. I think that people always want everything to be about them. It was about me. Yeah, I have worked extremely hard in this capacity in this career. And this happened before I thought, before the relationship issues came. Okay, honey, let me make that clear. Because everybody's like, oh, she had relationship issues. She let go of these ages.

[A]

Oh my God, man, let me say something.

[B]

The agents got let go before I, before the relationship issues transpired.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I released the agents because I had to choose me. I said, I am not going to be stretched thin in this season. I remember that I can't do it. I want to enjoy my life. I want to enjoy the people that love me. And if I can continue to stretch myself thin, I won't have anything left for me. So I just made the decision to choose again. What gave Me the most joy and which gave me the most income.

[A]

I love that we talked about the industry being such a male dominated industry that you work in. And for alpha women, when men are alpha men, they are successful. They're the most successful out of the group. They're a leader, a bread winner. But when women are the alpha female, then it's, oh, she's a bitch, she's vicious, she's cold. What has it been like navigating those areas?

[B]

I feel like, as women, like I said, that's why I say when you say that word alpha, that just means leader. That doesn't necessarily mean I'm cold, but in certain aspects of my business, it can feel cold. When I had to send those emails to release those agents, I'm pretty sure it felt cold. But at the same time, it was direct. Assert and assertive for the situation. It was right. I think that we have to be mindful that you cannot run a business like you run your personal life.

[A]

No, you can't.

[B]

What Beyonce say, she said, in business, being polite does not mix. But she did say you can be fair, but when you're out here being polite, you're being unfair to yourself. And I have learned that you heard that. And business, in business, you cannot always just be polite to people. You have to be fair and stand in your bit, stand strong in your integrity and move forward.

[C]

I love that.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. I want to ask Kiana, with everything that you've gone through in the year of 2023.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What are you going to do different in 2024 and how you want to.

[B]

Move forward in 2024? I want to continue to really nurture my relationship with God. I want to be so in tune with God that I hear his voice very clearly. So when he tells me to move, I move. I want to move slower. I am an intentional person. And if I don't like something or if something is not going the way that Kiana says it should, should go, I quickly disassociate and I quickly make decisions and I don't when I. That's another thing. You cannot run your personal life. Like, I would make the same decisions in my business life.

[C]

That's good.

[B]

So I want to go into 2024 slowing down, like, not being so quick to decide. And I want to spend more time enjoying.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The little things. I think that I got so caught up, like, I want to go to San Trope. Went to. I want to go to Italy. Went to Italy. I want to go this. You know, I got to Be on this big boat. I did that. I did it now. I definitely did it. She did. I went to Paris at least three times.

[A]

Hello.

[D]

Right.

[A]

In Amsterdam.

[B]

In Amsterdam.

[A]

I just want to go have chicken wings in Amsterdam.

[B]

All of that. Right. But I. Oh, not only. You know, let's not forget being the VIP risers and watch Beyonce with your friend.

[A]

Crystal didn't go see Beyonce like that.

[B]

I bet y' all didn't. But I want to do more of the small things. I want to be able to have, like, intentional lunches like we did the other day with my friends and not let. It doesn't. Everything doesn't have to be a photo op or a video op, right? Yeah. We didn't take pictures. We didn't take. We spent a lot of time together, and we don't take pictures. We only take pictures at the events because again, we're on the stage, remember?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

But we know we have a personal relationship. We have nothing to prove because we call each other all the time. You have my real personal number, not just the public business.

[A]

Hello. I got Kiana business and Kiana personal.

[B]

And so I want to spend more time. I want to spend more time with friends and family. I want to enjoy more of the little things and still sprinkle in a lot of the big things.

[A]

Well, I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you. You're constantly in my prayers. I'm one of those friends that I'm cheering you on and I hope that you feel the support and that I only want you to be happy and whatever that looks like for Kiana.

[B]

Absolutely. You are one of the most non judgment, judgmental people, but you also are very much so. Like, I heard you, and then you. You give me your opinion without it being a judgmental opinion. People really can't help themselves when it takes a certain special type of person to be able to give an opinion that's not biased, are based on their own experiences, but coming from a true place.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I appreciate that and I feel that love and I hope that you feel the same. I'm always supporting you. You know, I grabbed watching your show. I'll be watching your show. But beyond that, I'm always just rooting for you and your greatness. You know, I. You know, I love watching the show. I called her one day and I'm not gonna say what happened, but I said I watched this episode and I think you. You need to take this date, baby. I want every. I want.

[C]

You did.

[B]

Because the thing about it, you have built. And guess what? You can have it all, but maybe not at the. Not at all at the same time. So think about this hiatus, because I think you do.

[A]

There are some things had to take. A sacrifice.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I'm learning that.

[B]

And so you've done all the hard work.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're on. You know how much you have to work and when it's going to be done. You don't have to overexert yourself. And you can focus on a relationship if that's what you choose. Okay. Or you can be. You could be. You could be a walking halo, walking fake filter and just let everybody see your greatness. But whatever that. Whatever it is that you want out of this life, I support it.

[A]

Thank you so much, sis. Oh, my goodness. Kiana.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Thank you so much.

[C]

Love you.

[B]

I love you so much.

[A]

Now we are going to do. One of my favorite parts is positive outcomes, where our listeners write into us and we give them advice.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. So this one says, hi, Crystal. I recently turned 41 this year with no kids, and I've been working in education since the age of 13. My career is going great. I brought my first home at the age of 39, and I'm 30. Independent. I absolutely hate depending on a man to do anything for me. My dad taught me how to change my own tires and brakes. Ooh, girl.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. I don't even know how to do that. However, my hyper independence has caused a lot of confusion in past relationships. Should I just play the damsel in distress, which would literally irk my nerves, Help a sister out? Well, first of all, I've had to learn this because I was single for so long that when I did have a man in my life, I didn't know how to allow him to lead. I didn't know how to let him do things. Like if I did get a flat tire. I was just so used to handling everything on my own that I didn't make the man feel needed. And I don't think you have to be a damsel in distress, because I feel like if you play that role, eventually it's gonna get on the man's nerves.

[B]

Yes, of course.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I do know that it's important to let the man feel like he is needed in the relationship.

[B]

Let me tell you something. Oh, I remember I did this podcast, y', all, and I was on the stage with my prior relationship, and I said, I don't need a man. I want you as my man. I said that I meant it when I said it because in my mind, I'm thinking, telling you that you're wanted.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Gonna elevate.

[A]

Like, it's like open the ante.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But for a man, it's like, oh, you don't need me. It's a different thing. I would say you gotta learn to let these men lead, and you need to be the damsel in distress. I can tell. With my past relationship and us trying to work through it, the first thing I said is, I want to be a pampered princess. I can't figure out nothing, darling.

[A]

I don't know how to plan.

[B]

Tell me what time to show up. I don't care. Like, I don't want to be in charge of the tickets. Wherever you decide we sit, that's where we sit.

[D]

Right?

[B]

Because, see, sometimes we can get like that, too, as women. We're like, I want to sit on this row at this section. Yes. But sometimes, let the man lead. And whatever they can do and however they want to do it, let them do it and show up and be happy for it. Because they didn't have to do it. They didn't have to plan a date for you. They didn't have to plan this. So instead, maybe they planned a picnic. But you wanted to go and have five strips of wagyu with extra truffle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Relax. Relax and read the room. And I think that if I could give her any advice, I would say, you say that you don't need a man, but let's be clear, you don't need a man maybe for your financial support or for that physical support, since the girl can change a tire and change. But crazy emotional support of a man, no girlfriend can feel it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, a man can't fulfill that emotional support from your girlfriends and your family that love. Each of those love pockets are different. And that love pocket from a man, you do need that. So I had to recant my message. I do need a man. I want a man and I need a man. I want that emotional support. I want that love pocket filled. You need to really think about that and stop saying that you don't, so you can get what you and live your life.

[A]

Oh, I'm taking that advice, Kiana, because I definitely have said I don't need a man, but I want one. And I feel. And I thought the same thing. I thought that when I say I want you, it's a choice that I'm making that I want you. And I thought that meant something. They want to feel needed.

[B]

Yes, they do.

[A]

That's so good. Thank you so much for writing in. And please take her advice, because I'm gonna take it. The next thing we do is what I'm going through and what I'm growing through.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And just off of what we talked about, I definitely need to work on allowing men to lead when I do have that opportunity again, allowing them to lead, not being in control. To what you said about I need to sit on this row. I want my wagyu with the extra truffle. I want to go this way. I want to drive this kind of car. Like, want to fly first class. I want to stay in this kind of hotel. Like, I have all these things that this is what I like. I have to allow the man to leave and preparing myself. I think those are things I need to work on so that when the next one comes, I can be ready.

[B]

I absolutely think so. I think it's a beautiful thing to allow a man to lead. And if you like. My aunt told me I had to go talking to my old school aunt.

[A]

I know that's right.

[B]

As I'm dealing with and growing through what I'm growing through. And they were like, you know, the man is the head, but the woman controls the neck. And she said, kiana, if you want a man, if you control in the neck, they're going to turn whatever way that you're controlling. And man. And men are controlled with nurturing, with love and. And nurturing and femininity. You'll get more instead of demanding. And I bet you you'll still end up having the wagyu with the extra truffle. If they have to work two jobs to make sure you get it, because now you're controlling the neck, and they want to do it for you.

[A]

Yes. That's beautiful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Free game, y'. All. She just gave it to you. That's so good. So what are you going through and growing through?

[B]

I would say I'm going through my personal relationship battles and really trying to make sure I find the light in that, however that turns out right, and being okay with knowing that I'm allowing God to grow me through this situation. So I feel like even in that growth, I'm going through it, but I'm growing through it, because at the end of all this, I'm going to be a much better woman.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

And that is an overall woman to a mate, to a friend, to a better daughter, better sister, better aunt. So, you know, I feel like situations happen sometimes to really humble you and to make you look in the mirror. And say, you know, maybe you are not as together as you thought.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And that's what I'm growing through right now.

[A]

That is so beautiful. I love it. Before we close out, we do what is called keep it blank, sweetie.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And when I think of you, I think of keep it.

[C]

Ooh.

[A]

Keep it private, sweetie.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Certain things. Just keep it to yourself. There's things to share because you want to help other people learn and grow through their experiences based off of what you. You've dealt with. But there are some things where you say, I'm just gonna keep to myself. I like that.

[B]

Yeah. I love that I'm in that season. It's definitely keep it private. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Can you really think about it? What you really love, you protect.

[A]

You do.

[B]

And what you truly love and you care about, you protect. You see me with my nieces, I'll say, send you a picture of me.

[A]

You see my yard playing.

[B]

How often have you seen them on my social media page?

[A]

Same. Somebody just asked the other day, do I have any siblings? Because I don't post.

[B]

You know why I don't? Because I really love them, and I want. And I realized that there are so many outside forces that I don't have control of, and they didn't ask for this type of platform. They didn't ask for these people to take a screenshot of them and try to criticize them. So you protect what you love, and that can be friendships. So even though we may not post each other all the time, every single meetup, we know what we have. And we'll probably post a picture and say, hey, we went to this event. But every single meetup is. Is not a photo op. Some things that you absolutely love and you trust, you keep close to you keep it to yourself.

[A]

That's so good. What would you say, keep it blank, sweetie.

[B]

I'm gonna say keep it real, sweetie.

[A]

You heard it.

[B]

Keep it real, sweetie. I'm in that space where I'm keeping it real with myself. I'm keeping it real with people that are around me. And by keeping it real with yourself, people are forced to accept you for who you are because you are no longer walking around with some mask, because guess what? A mask that you walk around with will always eventually fall off. So keep it real, sweetie.

[A]

I love that. That is so good. Kiana. Thank you so much.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I'm so, so proud of you guys. Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of Keep It Positive. Sweetie, if you want to write into our positive outcomes listeners letter, you can write into keepitpositivesweetiemail.com and that's Sweetie with an IE. You can follow Kips on all platforms at keepitpositive. Sweetie. And you can follow me on all platforms at luvcrystalrenae. Kiana, tell the people where they can find you.

[B]

You can find [e-mail] kianawatson on Instagram, kianawatson on social media, and of course, watsonrealty co. That's my real estate brokerage here in the metro Atlanta area. Any of the 25 agents can service you and then my online training academy. For those that are looking for guidance and growing your real estate careers, go to agent toolsforsuccess.net and you can find me on all those platforms.

[A]

Yes. And if you want to learn more about Kiana, she has a book. I forgot to say that you're also an author.

[B]

Oh, yes, yes.

[A]

Clear to close. We were talking about how beautiful you were on the COVID Thank you. Yes. Give us more insight on her life and everything that it took to get to where you are today.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

We couldn't get it all.

[B]

I couldn't get it all in an hour.

[A]

But you can purchase the book as well and learn so much more about this amazing woman that I am so honored to call my friend.

[B]

You are such a great friend. I love you. I love you more.

[A]

Thank you for knowing this. This is a safe space for sharing your story and I know so many women are going to be healed from this.

[B]

I pray for you.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

Yes, so. Dear God, thank you so much for this day. Thank you for waking us up. Thank you for your mercies. Dear God, I ask that you continue to allow us to reach everyone with this podcast, spreading more positivity into the world. Dear God, I ask that you use me and Kiana. We know that so many people look up to us and look to us for inspiration, enlightenment. Dear God, but I want to shed truth. I want to shed some love today. I want people to see the authentic us, to let them know that we are just like them. Dear God, thank you for Dinora. Thank you for her guidance. Thank you for the anointing that you have in our life. Dear God. God bless ym. Thank you for his talents. Thank you for allowing him to be a part of this family. Dear God, we love you. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. Amen.

[B]

Amen.