Family, Healing & The Life We Didn’t Expect

Summary

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Keep it Positive, Sweetie

Episode Title: Family, Healing & The Life We Didn’t Expect
Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett
Guest: Jess Hilarious
Release Date: May 24, 2026

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Episode Overview

This heartfelt episode features comedian, radio and TV personality, and author Jess Hilarious (Jessica Robin Moore Toliver). The conversation dives deep into her new memoir, Til Death Do We Parent, exploring motherhood, co-parenting, healing from past wounds, faith, and redefining family when life doesn't go as planned. Crystal and Jess keep it honest and vulnerable, discussing the complexities of raising children through breakups, personal growth, mental health, and finding support after prolonged independence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Jess’s Journey to Authorship and Co-Parenting

• Becoming an Author: Jess reflects on how her career evolved from viral comedy to writing a memoir that details her real-life challenges and triumphs as a young mother and co-parent.
  • "You were introduced to the world as a comedian, you're a mother, and now, you're an author." (03:11)
  • She wrote Til Death Do We Parent with authenticity, intending readers to hear her actual voice in its pages.
• Co-Parenting with Rome: Jess discusses her journey with ex-partner Rome, the difficulties of early breakup and learning to work together for their son, Ashton.
  • Rome’s heartfelt apology after reading the manuscript offered healing to both:

    "Yo, I want to say that I'm very sorry because I was so young, and I didn't realize how effed up I was as a person to you." (10:47)

  • Their evolution from tension to a mature, supportive friendship.

Real Talk About Motherhood & Guilt

• Unexpected Motherhood: Jess opened up about not wanting to be a mother at 19, carrying the shame and guilt, and the pressure to do it all perfectly:

  "This baby didn't ask to be born...I kept my child selfishly. To me, I felt like it was selfish to him and me just to keep his father around." (12:21)

• Breakthrough Moment: Jess’s honest account of postpartum struggle, leading to a cathartic moment when she fully embraced motherhood.

  “I rushed over to his crib. I picked him up, and I just felt like I had been neglecting him, trying to be so sad about my situation...He went from that to, like, my son, my baby… And that was the day—I fell so deeply in love with him in that moment.” (17:41)

Evolving Motherhood & Support

• Second Chances: Jess describes her second journey through pregnancy and motherhood with her husband, Chris, highlighting the difference support makes:

  "My husband...rubs me down every night, comes in from work tired but says, ‘Alright, come on, let’s rub you down...’" (20:46)

  • Contrasts Rome’s absence and cheating with Chris’s devotion, including his sharing in parental duties and even delivering their daughter in the hospital (21:34).

Letting Go of Control and Accepting Help

• From Survival Mode to Softness: After years of being the sole provider and caregiver, Jess details her struggle and eventual acceptance of her husband’s help:

  "It is definitely a process. Especially when you're so used to being in fight or flight mode." (23:08)

  • She admits letting go of control was hard but necessary for growth and healthier relationships.

Postpartum Depression & Mental Health

• Divergent Experiences: Jess had postpartum depression with her daughter, not with her son, highlighting that it can affect anyone regardless of circumstance:

  “It just feels like a heavy, heavy funk...Nothing...makes you happy. Not even seeing your baby's face...” (26:19)

  • She emphasizes the need for better understanding and honesty about maternal mental health (28:04).

Reflection on Maturity, Ego, and Co-Parenting

• Growth from Ego: Jess openly explores how ego and immaturity drove her to keep Ashton from Rome, and how she recognizes now the harm it caused:

  "You just can’t use your children as something that's divisive...the energy that I was feeling, I was projecting onto him, for sure." (37:03)

  • She stresses the impact of parents’ emotions on children, and the necessity of healing and maturity in co-parenting (38:40).

Grace & Faith in Healing

• Faith as Foundation: Jess attributes much of her healing and growth to her faith and her upbringing in church:

  "He’s not looking for you to come to him perfectly… There's no script. You don't have to get it right. He hears you." (46:58)

• Self-Love and God’s Love: Jess shares her experience of seeking validation through unhealthy relationships and realizing that true love starts with self-love and God's unwavering support (49:11).

Living Unapologetically

• Taking Up Space: Jess affirms her journey to living unapologetically as a woman, mother, and partner, no longer overextending herself to please others:

  “I’m not apologizing no more for nothing. I’ve grown so much. And it’s okay to say no.” (54:10)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Modern Parenting:

  "Honestly, I let my kid ask me why... When we were growing up...we couldn't do that. No ma'am, it was because I said so... Now I realize: I wasn't even asking why to be disrespectful. Sometimes we just wanted to know." (06:46)

• On Healing After Hurt:

  "A happy mom is really like a key ingredient to happy children." (38:40)

• On Co-Parenting:

  “You cannot say, ‘Oh, I can’t do that.’ Yes, there were many times I thought Rome and I could not be best friends...but as long as you have a healthy co-parenting relationship, you're going to have healthy, balanced kids.” (52:17)

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |---|---| | 02:59 | Introduction of Jess Hilarious & purpose of her book | | 05:31 | “Parent Trap” quickfire game on modern parenting scenarios | | 06:46 | Discussion on parenting styles and breaking generational patterns | | 09:24 | Why Jess chose now to write her memoir | | 11:34 | Healing conversations with co-parent Rome | | 12:21 | Honest admission of guilt/shame in young motherhood | | 17:41 | Jess’s breakthrough moment of love and acceptance as a mom | | 19:03 | On societal expectations & maternal guilt | | 20:08 | Contrasting pregnancy/motherhood experiences (first child vs. second) | | 23:08 | Struggles with accepting help and relinquishing control | | 26:19 | Detailed account of postpartum depression | | 28:04 | Dealing with mental health, career anxiety, and societal pressures | | 34:51 | Unprocessed emotions & possible undiagnosed postpartum with first child | | 37:03 | Learning to put ego aside for the child's benefit in co-parenting | | 39:23 | Faith-based advice: praying for yourself instead of others to change | | 42:00 | Parenting techniques: Breathing, self-regulation, teaching kids by example | | 43:20 | Blending family: How Chris, Rome, and Ashton relate and set boundaries | | 46:58 | How faith and open, imperfect prayer carried Jess through tough times | | 49:11 | Experiencing God’s love through periods of self-doubt | | 51:03 | Jess’s hope for women & mothers reading her memoir: “Accept and let it go” | | 54:10 | Living unapologetically and learning to say no |

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Episode Highlights & Takeaways

• The importance of vulnerability and honesty in parenting and personal growth.
• Healing and maturity come through accountability, faith, and letting go of ego.
• Healthy co-parenting is possible, even after painful relationship breakdowns.
• Accepting support from partners can be challenging, but it is necessary for growth.
• Postpartum depression is diverse and not always predictable; openness about mental health is vital.
• Living unapologetically allows for genuine happiness, growth, and better relationships with self and others.

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Final Reflections

Jess Hilarious’s journey is a testament to the power of self-reflection, accountability, and the courage to rewrite your life’s narrative, no matter how messy things once were. Her openness about guilt, mental health, forgiveness, and faith serves as a roadmap for anyone navigating unexpected twists in life, family, or motherhood.

Recommended Action:
Grab a copy of Til Death Do We Parent and connect with the Keep it Positive, Sweetie community for ongoing inspiration and support.

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Listen to this episode for personal stories on healing, humor, and honesty in motherhood and co-parenting.

Transcript

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[Chris Renee Hazlett]

to the forefront, I'm your host, Chris Renee Hazlett and this is the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. Welcome to Keep It Positive Sweetie, the place where we heal, grow and learn together. Today's guest is someone who has built an entire career off of honesty. Whether through comedy, radio, television or social media, she's always found a way to make people laugh while still keeping it real. But in this conversation, we get to meet a different side of her. Through her new memoir, Til Death Do We Parents, she opens up about motherhood, co parenting, survival, healing, faith, and redefining what family can look like after the life doesn't go the way you planned. I am so excited to be sitting down with Jess. Hilarious. Jess Hilarious first captured people's attention through her viral comedy and unforgettable personality. But over the years, she's evolved into so much more than just funny. From stand up and television to voice acting and now co hosting the Breakfast Club, Jess has built a career rooted in honesty, relatability, and saying the things that people are usually too afraid to say out loud. In her memoir, Till Death Do We Parent, she brings that same honesty to motherhood, relationships, co parenting, shame, growth, and the complicated process of learning how to soften after survival mode. Sweetie, please give a very warm welcome to Jess Hilarious Jess.

[Jess Hilarious]

Hey, Crystal. What's up, boo? Listen, I'm so happy to be sitting down with you.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No, I'm happy.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I've been on your show, the Breakfast Club and we've gotten to talking.

[Jess Hilarious]

Just.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Thank you. Like, the Breakfast Club can be daunting if you've never been because you never know what's gonna come up, what you're gonna ask. And it has always been a pleasant experience. And I always love the questions you ask. You always make me feel safe. You in. I mean, everybody does, but I just. There's something about your energy that I always feel safe and comfortable with. So thank you. It's good to have you over here

[Jess Hilarious]

on this side because, girl, I'll be scared. You know, I work at Breakfast Club, but I'll be scared for the people. I'll be like, if you don't want, if you never did nothing, don't let nothing come out. If you did do something, say it Wasn't you? Because Charlamagne's gonna have.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

He's going to ask you. Shout out Charlemagne.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Envy and Lauren LaRosa. We love everybody over at the Breakfast Club, but we got you here today. You are now an author.

[Jess Hilarious]

I am.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

You were introduced to the world as a comedian, you're a mother, and now you're an author. Till death do we Parents. Girl, I'm so excited we're gonna get into this book. But before we dive in, I wanna play a quick game just to, you know, get you loosened up a bit.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

All right, so the book is called Til Death Do We Perish. So we're gonna play a game called Parent Trap.

[Jess Hilarious]

Okay. Ooh, that's cute. Right?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Shout out Shelley for the games.

[Jess Hilarious]

All right.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Your child says, don't tell my other parent. Which parent is calling first? Anyway.

[Jess Hilarious]

Anyway, I'm calling first.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's good. Your child is acting completely different after coming back from another parent's house. What's your first thought?

[Jess Hilarious]

Call a parent. I'm calling his father right now.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

What did you do, Rome?

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

What did you do? Do you.

[Jess Hilarious]

That's what you do.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Do your co parent text. We need to talk. No context. What is your immediate thought?

[Jess Hilarious]

Ashton done did something that needs. That needs my attention. So it may be something about a girl and his dad wants me to talk to him about it because he gonna come off a little too hard. You know, it's about Ash and the girls and we're at that point right now. Cause he's 14, so yeah, that'll be what it is. It's more than likely about a girl. If his father texts me like, we

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

need to talk, you're like, oh yeah, that's good. What is the most mom thing that you do now that younger Jess would never believe?

[Jess Hilarious]

Honestly, I let my kid ask me why. I let Ashton ask me why. You know, when we were growing up.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Uh huh.

[Jess Hilarious]

Honey, we couldn't do that. No ma', am. It was because I said so. And we couldn't even wonder why. It was like my mother even knew that I was thinking about asking her why. You know, it was, do as I say, don't ask me why, no explanations. You know. And when Ashton was younger, I was the same way. But then I kind of grew out of that because our kids are exposed to so much these days where it's like, ain't nothing wrong with explaining to them, especially if they're curious, not asking why, to be disrespectful. And I now realize like, I wasn't Even asking why. Me and my brother weren't asking why to be disrespectful. Sometimes we just wanted to know. We wanted a follow up answer. You know better than just no because I said so. So yeah, damn. I be having him explain himself, you know, and I'll be happy to explain to him things. Yeah, I love that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's good. I love how we're reframing motherhood. That's amazing. Nobody tells you that parenting will fill in the blank.

[Jess Hilarious]

Nobody tells you that parenting will ultimately be something that makes you question who you were before. Because I live my life publicly. And when I was younger, I was doing everything on the Internet. Anything would fly. I'm clapping back at people. I'm, you know, I'm in the car with the bonnet and I'm ranting and all of that. And then my son is 14 now and he's asking me about some of the videos that he saw when I was younger, you know, and he was younger, I was younger, we, oh my God, I had my baby so young. So I'm like, we kind of grew up together.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right.

[Jess Hilarious]

I was growing up while I was raising him too. And so he would ask me things and he still asks me things like why you say that? Why would you talking about that? And I was right in the back seat. Or why you say, you know. And I'm like, ooh, you know. And now I have a one year old and I really gotta watch it. You know what I mean? Because if my 14 year old is asking me about things that I did 10 years ago, then my daughter, I have to protect that right now. So I have to be careful.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's so good.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah. Nobody tells you that. And you're not thinking that far either when you're younger.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. No facts. That's so true. What I love most about this book, first of all, when I was reading it, I read it in your voice like I could. Your voice is so distinct as I'm even not even out loud as I'm just reading. I'm like, I hear your voice as I'm reading it. It's so good.

[Jess Hilarious]

Purposely wrote it like that. I did that with intention.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No, you did so good. And it felt like we were just sitting in a room talking to you as we read it. It didn't feel like I was just reading a book. Right. So good. I'm proud of you.

[Jess Hilarious]

Thank you.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I do wanna ask you what made you say now is the time to write a book? Because a lot of people have the idea of they never get around to it. What made you say that? Now is the time for this book.

[Jess Hilarious]

Crystal. I'm so tired of going online, and I'm seeing, like, the mom's, like, f my baby dad. You know what I'm saying? And it's songs about it, you know, shout out to sexy, but she got the song, you know? And then we have, like, there's a whole audience out there who would rather stay stuck in whatever that is. That's like dysfunction and toxicity. And it's just. And it can. It can only grow if you feed it. You know what I mean? Why does it have to be that way? You once laid down with this person. You once loved this person. And even if there is no feelings, you know, if there are no feelings there, y' all still got a kid. Y' all still made a person together. So it's nothing wrong with being friends or uplifting your baby daddy or uplifting your baby mama, telling her, you know, I see you. You're doing great. Encouraging, you know, and lifting. And me and Rome, we've been doing that. We've been on that journey for 14 years. But we actually became friends when Ash was about three or four. Cause Rome, I wanted a gut punching. I know that's what he said. He said, yo, you know, everybody gonna hate me. Yes. He was like. He thought it was a good idea to write it until he read it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

He was like, look at himself. Like, I was no good.

[Jess Hilarious]

He did a lot of reflecting and was like, oh, my God. But the beautiful thing about it was what Rome said to me when he read the book, the final manuscript, before we sent it in was, yo, I want to say that I'm very sorry because I was so young, and I didn't realize how effed up I was as a person to you. I didn't even know what was going on with me. I was trying to navigate my life, and we had a kid, and, you know, I'm trying to figure I'm still growing into who I am and not knowing how to be loyal or stay loyal to one girl. And so I'm so sorry that I put you through those things. And he got emotional, and I got emotional. I was like, damn, you're right. Thank you, Rome. You know, so this was a really, really great piece of literature to create with him.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. And healing. It looks like it's therapeutic for both of you. That's amazing.

[Jess Hilarious]

Thank you.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I love that now in the book, you kept it real like always. I love that you didn't sugarcoat anything. You let Us into your world. You became a mother at the age of 19, and you talked about feeling guilt of. The guilt of not wanting to be a mother at that time. I mean, you were young, so that's something that is understanding. But also the guilt that you carry as a mom is like, dang. I actually felt like that at one point in time. What did that season actually feel like when you were in it?

[Jess Hilarious]

I was feeling a number of things, Crystal. I was like, oh, my God. I felt guilty, for one, because I'm like, this baby didn't ask to be born, didn't ask to be made. I'm just out here being hot in my. My mom don't know where. I got a boyfriend. I don't even know I'm dating. That was crazy. It was a lot, right?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

So.

[Jess Hilarious]

And then I was thinking about keeping Jerome around, you know, because I know with the loss of his mother, he wanted a child. He wanted a big family. And I was like, I'm actually in a place where I'm giving him that, or I can give him that. As young as I was, you know, as. You know, just unprepared as I was, I kept my child selfishly. To me, I felt like it was selfish to him and me just to keep his father around, you know? And I was feeling so guilty. I just. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know what career I was going to catapult into. I didn't know. I thought about going to college, and then. So I just. I didn't know. I didn't understand what having a kid would really do, you know?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. Cause at that age, you don't know how your world is about to completely change. Nope. Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

And I didn't know if my parents were gonna kill me.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Girl.

[Jess Hilarious]

I was born and raised in a church.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I was over there, heartbeat read. I was like, oh, gosh, she about to do what? They don't know what. I'm like, oh, God.

[Jess Hilarious]

How I'm supposed to go on Sunday and sing in the choir and everybody like, dang, Jess, you the youngest and you pregnant in here. You know what I mean? So I was so scared for a number of reasons. So, no, I wasn't ready to be a mom. And I didn't want to be a mom at first, even when I gave birth to him. And I feel like not a lot of moms really talk about it because. And I was even wrestling with the fact back in my mind, like, should I even write about it? Because I don't want my Son to read this because he is a honey. He loves reading. He is always in a book. And he was so excited to find out that I was writing a book about the story between me and his father. And so I didn't want him to read it and go, dang, like, you didn't want me and you're willing to tell the world. You never sat down with me and told me that. But it's like, when is the right time to tell your child? I didn't want you until you were about, like, six months. Until I had, like, a breakthrough moment in my house crying.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I want to talk about that. I was crying with you.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No, seriously, Actually, that was. Yeah, I'm jumping up. She said this is what she do, too.

[Jess Hilarious]

So we're gonna be sorry. Yes. Oh, my gosh.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No, girl, I was literally in tears. I was telling Nishawn. I was like. It was this part in the book. I was like, she's having a mental breakdown. She's throwing stuff in the baby's room, like, literally going crazy. And Ashton looks at you with this smirk on his face, and it was in, girl, I got chills. Like, it literally touched me. I was like, right.

[Jess Hilarious]

I'm writing, crying, writing at night.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I can imagine. I do want to read this part of it. This is where you were really questioning, like, what am I doing? Like, I don't know what I'm doing. And then you said, in this moment, this is when you picked him up for the first time and really, like, appreciated his existence. And you said I had never shown him genuine affection like this until now. This feeling made me burst into even more tears because it had finally hit me. I did want my baby. I was ready to be his mom right there in that room. He went from being the baby to my son. Ashton, girl. Well, I tell you, I sat and I wept. Because I can imagine at that young age going through that, you know, and what they was like. So I do want to know, like, in that moment. I see it. I see it.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

Nobody talks about the realness of that, right?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

And I was wilding out, Like, I was, like, throwing stuff. And just.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Thank you,

[Jess Hilarious]

thank you, thank you. Yeah, I was in a room. I'm throwing stuff. I don't have a job, first of all. Like, I don't have a job. My mom is on me constantly, every day. Like, you're not gonna lay around this house. Cause she was licensed professional daycare provider. So my mom is like, yes, I will keep your son, my grandbaby. But you have to go and work, you know, this is not like, this ain't. You made this baby. You're gonna take care of it. And you have to grow up. And you knew that, you know? So I'm like, okay, I'm sitting here trying to figure out my life. I don't have a job. I can't go outside with my friends, you know? And then I'm thinking of Rome. Rome is doing whatever he wants in that moment. You know, he parties and he's on, you know, MySpace and Facebook. Like, pretty much in my mind. I'm like, you throwing this in my face. Like, you posting this for me. He posing it to be seen by any and everybody. But I'm taking it very personal. Ashton was not a crybaby. Believe it or not, he was not a crybaby at all. He was always such a calm joy to be around. I just couldn't see that because I was in my own feelings. I was in my own way. And I just had a breakdown. Nobody was calling me back. All the job applications I filled out, nobody's calling me back. And I was throwing stuff around. My clothes, his clothes and stuff. And I'm, like, screaming at him, like, why would you pick me to be your mother? Why would you? Like, from across the room. And I just, like, fall down to my knees and I'm crying. And I look up at him and he has this smirk like, girl, you doing too much.

[Charlemagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

Like, girl, if you don't calm down and come and pick me up. And I did. I rushed over to his crib. I picked him up, and I just felt like I had been neglecting him, trying to be so sad about my situation. I was thinking about myself so much because up until that point, I had called him the baby. Like, oh, mom, can you get the baby for me? Or, yeah, this is. This is baby Ash. But it was like, oh, no. He went from that to, like, my son, my baby, you know, this is mine. Like, my. The love of my little life. The little love of my life. And he all snot and drooling on me, and I'm still crying and he laughing and smiling. And that was the day. Like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Like, I fell so deeply in love with him in that moment.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Gosh, yeah, that. I'm telling you, that touched me. It was definitely, like, the turning point. I felt, like, the shift in motherhood for you.

[Jess Hilarious]

Absolutely.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Did you struggle more with becoming a mother or the guilt of immediately not jumping into motherhood as people would expect?

[Jess Hilarious]

I struggle with both. But yes, the fact that everybody just think that you're already supposed to know what to do, you know? And then I was raised by a prayer warrior, a mom.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's the first thing she did, you know, I said, come on, mother. First thing, I was like, on tens. And he was like, how's she gonna react? I was like.

[Jess Hilarious]

And she, she took me in with loving arms. But like, I. She was always the role model for me. The example of what it's like to nurture, to provide, to love on your babies, even in discipline. Crystal. My mom would. She'll pop me, whoop me, and then be like, I love you. Now you know better. You know, like, I would immediately feel the rush of love. That, that was like a follow up, you know? But I think, yeah, I think it was. Yeah, it was more so the fact that people just expect for you to just know, for it to come to you. There's no manual on this and it's different for everybody.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah, no, that's so true. Now you are experiencing motherhood in a totally different space. You're married, you're supported. That's. That's something that women need when they're navigating this. Because we talked about on the call. Like, your bodies are going through things that you can't even explain, you know, so the fact that you are going through it in a different way, I want to say, how does this version of motherhood, has it changed you as a mother, man?

[Jess Hilarious]

Well, even starting from pregnancy, I had a very beautiful pregnancy. And that's another thing I was feeling guilty about because I didn't have a fun pregnancy or a great, you know, just loving pregnancy or easy. With Ashton, it wasn't easy. Rome wasn't there all the time. And then we were always at odds because of the cheating, the lying and all of that stuff. So a lot of times I went through a lot of it just by myself. I mean, I could always call him and he'd pick up, but we weren't in the same house under the same roof. He wasn't feeding me. Listen, my husband, I got rubbed down every night.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Come on.

[Jess Hilarious]

And he would be coming in from work and he would be tired as crap. Crystal. And he would be like. And he would be like, all right, come on, let's rub you down. And whatever you want to eat now, you can't eat after a certain time because I don't want you to have heartburn. And he was such a first time dad, but he had books that he had read and it just Felt good. He was there every appointment. And then when he couldn't be, because he's a trucker, when he couldn't be, he was on FaceTime. Just, I just. It was like a total different experience.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

You know, and then when I had my daughter, he was there and he delivered his daughter. Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

So did you get at home or you went to the hospital?

[Jess Hilarious]

No, we went to the hospital.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Okay.

[Jess Hilarious]

And the doctor. Oh, my God, I love her so much. And she, like, taught him everything. Like, instructed him on how to deliver his child. And he did it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's amazing. Shout out, Chris.

[Jess Hilarious]

Amazing.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's amazing.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes. He wasn't scared or nothing. Now Rome's ass. He passed out. He sure did passed out. He saw Ashton head and was like, oh, no. And passed out. But girl, for real. They had to put him in the bed next to me. I'm like, rome, wake up. Dang. You know, but it was, you know, each experience is different. But I, I. This time around, it was. It was beautiful. And we actually planned my daughter, my husband and I planned her because I always wanted to have more kids. But the guys wasn't guying Crystal. They wasn't. So listen, God sent me who I was supposed to be with. My best friend, my better half. One of the most genuine human beings I've ever met. And. And this is who I'm doing life with. And I couldn't be happier.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

And it shows. We see it on you.

[Jess Hilarious]

Thank you.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes. You are glowing. You really are. There's a line in the book that stood out to me being. And this really touches on what we just talked about, like how you were doing everything by yourself with Rome, but now you have support. Being so used to doing things myself, these moments when I am no longer the only one can feel so overwhelming. What has it been like learning to receive that support after having to do it by yourself for so long? Or did you have a hard time accepting it?

[Jess Hilarious]

Definitely still have a hard. Like where I'm much better with it, you know, but it is definitely a process. Especially when you are so used to being in fight or flight mode when you gotta. You gotta do everything by yourself anyway. And then you're. Then I am that type where it's like, if I don't do it, it won't get done right. You know, my husband may take a longer time doing it. And I'm so used to getting it done like this with the. Within a blink of an eye. And like, I know that I'm gonna always execute it right. And if it Doesn't. If it's not right, there's no one to blame but myself.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

You know, he is. It's like pulling teeth with me, boy. But he be hanging in there with me. Like, girl, if you don't sit down, shut up and let me do this. Let me love you. Let me be a father. I know you've been doing this. Cause I always say, I've been doing this longer than you, Sway. This is my second time around. This your first time? You know? And he like, it's all right. Let me do it, you know? Let me be a father. Let me. Let me be your husband.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Jess Hilarious]

Like, outside of the kids, let me do something for you.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

Vacations or whatever, for the family. What makes you think you gotta pay for it all? Because I know where I want to go. I know how I want to fly. I know. And he like, you think I don't do the same thing for me?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Come on.

[Jess Hilarious]

Like, you ain't the only one with, you know, winning bread and hair. I'm like, okay, shorty. You know, I like that. Talk that to me. You know, this, this. You know, this is the first time that I've been in a marriage, but, like, a relationship where I don't have to do everything, you know, and that feels good. It was very challenging, like, letting go of that control.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

Because that's what that also teaches you. Like, when you're the breadwinner and you're around a bunch of people and you're in relationships where men take advantage of you, that actually, like, that makes you very controlling.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

It does. And he spills over into your relationship.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes. And he pointed that out, like, was about to leave me over that. Like, nah, you don't. This is. This is give and take. You. I don't know who you've been dealing with, but, no, it's not gonna fly over here.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah, that's good. And I think that's a note to a lot of women who are successful and running their lives before they meet their mate. You're gonna have to reel that back, you know? And it's so hard to turn that thing off, because your whole life has been dependent on you having that characteristic. You know, it's like.

[Jess Hilarious]

And always having a guard up. Yes. Yeah. So I'm softer. He disarms me. Chris disarms me. And in such a way where it's like, I don't even want to be tough. I'm like, all right, go ahead.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Go in.

[Jess Hilarious]

Go ahead. I don't want to be tough. Yes. Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I love that for you. Thank you. Yes. Now, you also spoke about the gift of you didn't have postpartum with your son, but you ended up having it with your daughter.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Let's talk about that. Because so many mothers go through that. And as a woman who hasn't had children, I understand that like there's things that happen with our bodies that we can't explain. But walk us through that because I think that there is this misconception that there's a certain way that postpartum has to look.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah. And I didn't even know that that's what I was going through when I was in it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

You know, I just, I just, it just feels like a heavy, heavy funk that you're in and it's like you're down and nothing, I'm talking about nothing. Not even seeing your baby's face, not being loved on by your husband. Not like being around like the most vibey energy with your friends or whatever makes you happy. Watching your favorite movies. None of that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

Is it's very short lived it stuff. You'll smile, but you go right back into that feeling of like I didn't feel pretty, I didn't feel funny, I didn't feel I was doing anything right. I felt like a failure. I felt like I had lost my mojo. I'm like, oh my God. My fans are moving on from me because we got more comedians than bugs in the world now. Right? So I'm like, they are moving on without me. I haven't, I gotta get online. I gotta get back to who I am. But then I'm like, who am I? I don't feel good. Then I was doing, I was breastfeeding my daughter. I didn't really. I breastfed my son. But the milk dried up child. I was like, dang, these little itty bitty things. Wasn't doing nothing back then, you know, But I had, I breastfed my daughter. And that was a struggle because when you depressed and when you stressed out that dries up your milk. Like you don't have a continuous flow. So I was, I felt like I was robbing her of all the nutrients and things I was supposed to been giving her. Cuz my milk, it didn't stop but it slowed down. And then like work, I, I went back to work. Like I forced myself just to go back because I'm like, I got to get out. Maybe I got to get out.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

But then I felt like I wasn't, maybe I wasn't entirely ready to even go Back into the workplace, you know? And my feelings definitely took a toll on me because I felt like they were trying to replace me. I felt like everybody was against me and they was playing with me a little bit. Like, still, it wasn't all postpartum y. You know what I mean? I felt like a lot of it was postpartum, but then I felt like also a lot of it was just horrible communication at work. Nobody like really telling me what's going on and things like that. So it made me look like the villain. I didn't like that. That was another thing that was added on to my plate. And then all the comments of people like, oh, Jess, can't share a workplace with another black woman. And I'm like, what? You know, like, me and Lauren don't even do the same thing. I just wanted to know what the plan was, you know what I mean? But yeah, so it was a lot. But what I thought was funny through the whole comparison, right? Because when I was pregnant with my son, I didn't have a great pregnancy, but I also didn't experience postpartum depression, But I had a great pregnancy with my daughter and I experienced postpartum depression. So it doesn't have a target person. Like it happens to you. It just happens. And you don't know. I didn't realize that I was going through that until after. Till I came out of it. And there was nothing that my husband could do. He was trying. My mother in law, my mom, my dad, everybody was trying. Even Rome. Rome was like, yo, is. Is it the book? Like, what? I'm like, no, it ain't the book. He's like, don't put out the book, Please don't. Right? But I just, I had to get out of it on my own.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Well, so how long have you were you working on the book?

[Jess Hilarious]

Nine months. That's amazing. I wrote it while I was pregnant. Wow. Yep. When I first found out I was pregnant.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

Because we had been trying to. When I first found out I was pregnant, that's when I started writing the book. And I got finished a few weeks before I went into labor.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Rose said it.

[Podcast Advertiser 1]

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[Jess Hilarious]

A book? Yes. So I had two babies. Basically, the death to be parent and my baby. Marley.

[Stefano Pallard]

Wow.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Incredible.

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[Malcolm Glebel]

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[Stefano Pallard]

Your pronunciation is strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari.

[Malcolm Glebel]

I'm still working on rolling my R's, but what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi, the Ferrari superfans in the digital age.

[Stefano Pallard]

Ferrari fans and super fans want to be part of something, want to belong to something. So they want to be part of a community and ultimately they want to be part of a winning team.

[Malcolm Glebel]

You've got Ferrari, which has a long history, design history, and now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions.

[Stefano Pallard]

When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology and digital channels are being able to create a deeper connection with our fans.

[Malcolm Glebel]

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[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I do want to ask you, do you feel like because when you were younger you were going through the fight or flight mode, survival mode, that you maybe weren't warranted the opportunity to even like process your feelings at that time?

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah. Do you think?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Because I know, I feel like that was a different time and you said that you didn't go through postpartum, but I'm wondering if everything you were going through didn't even allow you to process if you were or not.

[Jess Hilarious]

You know, now that you say that, yeah, I think so. Because I was still afraid of so much even when, you know what? Yeah. Because it took about six months, like for me to even start looking at Ashton in that way. So now that you bring that up, it's like, you know what? Yeah, because I was like upset, just angry and bitter and mad disappointed in myself dealing with all these feelings knowing that my friends, all the people at my church judging me, I mean, you know, and they be judging people the worst, you know, and like just friends like, oh, you can't go out to the club cause you're the only one with a baby and, you know, so I was thinking about that. That more than likely was postpartum depression. And I just didn't had to language

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

for it or even realize it. Because you had a lot on you.

[Jess Hilarious]

Absolutely.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I couldn't. I mean, okay, let me tell you something. When I was that age 19, in my teens, and my boyfriend was out doing something, and, girl, I would lose my mind. So I can imagine having a baby and having to deal with all that, girl.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes. And then I had a roam. I don't think everybody had a Rome. You gotta read the book, y'. All. Y' all ain't had a Rome. You did not have.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I pray you didn't have a Rome. Cause my girl, I wanted to fight him like your brother. I said, I will fight him with you. Cause what?

[Jess Hilarious]

Right.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. He didn't want you with that.

[Jess Hilarious]

Right, man. You think it's the book? Yes. My big brother was like, I'm about to fold him up and put him in the dumpster. Jesse. I said, ooh, please do it. But not right. Cause he gonna call the police. Right?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right?

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes. Girl, I love that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I love that this book is redefining and reshaping the thought of if a relationship doesn't work, then the family has failed. What has this process taught you about maturity and ego? Because I know that there was moments in the book where you would keep Ashton away from Rome, more so ego and immaturity. But what has this entire process of writing the book and even growing and growing, co parenting and coexisting taught you about maturity and ego?

[Jess Hilarious]

Honestly, like, you just can't use your children as something that's divisive. Like, I really was when I. When I would be upset with Rome, I would do things like keep Ashton away from him because I knew that was the only thing that would really make him feel like Rome loves his children. He loved Ashton when it was just Ashton. Like, that was the only thing that could really upset him. If you talk about his deceased mom or you talk about his child, or you keep his child away from him. And I knew that was the only way to get under his skin. And what I've learned about that, like, what it is the ego and the pride that can. That could also alter how your children act as well. Like, because I would be walking around angry and mad. And although I wouldn't argue, we didn't have many argues in front of Ashton. I mean, arguments in front of Ashton, but just the energy that I was feeling, I was projecting onto him, for sure. And then I would be Wondering, like. Because I also speak in a book about when he started to get smart and become oppositional and just defiant. And I'm like, where is he getting that from? But the whole time, if he's always seeing his mom bitter and. And being negative and just having an attitude. Kids absorb it all and they will regurgitate it, baby. You know what I'm saying? And throw it right back at you. And. And that's what you're giving. So you. So a happy mom is really like. A happy mom is really like a key ingredient to happy children.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That is so true.

[Jess Hilarious]

And happy and healthy co parenting as well.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

Because it's. It balance. It balances the kid and it teaches the kid how to deal with feelings too. You know, how to work through them properly. Yes. Because it's easy. A lot of people think it's easy to be mad. It's not. It takes so much energy. It takes so much of your time. And you gotta hold on to something to stay angry about it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

So that's what I've learned. Don't hold on. You gotta accept it and let it go.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

You know.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No, that's real. I had a situation like when I was younger with my mom and she was praying, God change her, God change her. But I was literally just mirroring what she was doing. And God said, no, I'm gonna change you and you'll see a change in your daughter.

[Jess Hilarious]

That's actually. Oh, my God. I was just with. I was in church, me and my husband, and there, that was a message. It's like, you gotta stop praying that God will change other people. Pray. Pray that he'll change how you look at them or change how you receive them or change, like, change your behavior. You can't pray that God will change something else. He already working on them. That ain't even your business. That's. That ain't your business. Spiritually, mentally, it ain't your business at all. You got to pray how you pray against how you look at them. You know, Pray God. Pray for God to change how you look at them.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No, for sure. That's real. Yeah. So when you talk about that. Cuz I look at my nephew now and how he literally regurgitates everything he hears. I'm like, they are sponges.

[Jess Hilarious]

They are.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. And they are literally mirrors of everyone that they're watching every single day. That's so good. I love that. The funny story in the beginning where you're talking about getting ready for the premiere of the movie that you and Rome Were both in. That was a moment when you realized, okay, we're actually becoming a family in a different way. When you walked in the room to go get your daughter dressed and Chris was already. Had Already handled it.

[Jess Hilarious]

Already had her.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Jess Hilarious]

That was amazing. Because that too is another, like, whew. Because I had to get Ashton ready by myself. And I'm getting me ready by myself. And I'm already not that great with timing. Gosh. So I'm like, oh, my God, this is the movie premiere and we're trying. And then Rome bothering me. Cause Rome don't like the way I dress his son.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

What he wearing?

[Jess Hilarious]

What he wearing? Like, first of all, Ashton is. At that time, I think he was maybe about 11 or 12. But Ashton had already developed his own sense of self, so. And he can dress. We let him do his thing and he looks really good and the stuff that he puts on. So I'm like, ash, I'm erome. I don't dress him anymore. He has his own. His own way of dressing. And, you know, like, these kids are exposed to so much. So Ash, like, got styles where he looks at, you know, for inspiration and all that type of stuff. But I was very happy to see that my husband had already gotten Marley ready. So that's one less thing I gotta worry about. And then I got back to finding my outfit, you know. But I felt so good in that moment. Cause I'm like, ooh. Not only did she look good in what he picked her, what he picked out for her. He didn't even ask me. Like, babe, can you figure out what she's gonna wear? He dressed her and he was dressed. And so I'm like, okay, I only gotta worry about me, right?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Everybody got themselves they can worry about Jess. I love that. And then you're on the way to the premiere and so many things are happening, and you have to take something that your father taught you. The breathing. Yes.

[Jess Hilarious]

He always said it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Look up. Yes.

[Jess Hilarious]

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Count to 10.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Now, at what moment in your life did you realize, I'm starting to change. I'm not reacting how I would normally act. Because there were so many moments in the book where I feel like you could have reacted one way, but you chose peace instead. And I love that your father taught you that. Look up and breathe. When did you realize, okay, I'm getting the hang of this. Look up and breathe for real now.

[Jess Hilarious]

So he had been teaching me that since I was a teenager. I didn't really start putting that into effect. And realizing that it works until Ashton was like, he was about eight. Like seven or eight. Yeah. So that wasn't really that long ago. Like six years ago, but six still. That's also part of me learning and growing because I could have responded negatively or just, you know, but it's not really about who's winning the argument.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right.

[Jess Hilarious]

For sure. That's gonna make us later and then that, you know, and then my son's gonna see, oh, gosh, here we may go, mom and dad again and fighting and stuff, you know.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes. Now, how has the dynamic been with Chris and Rome and Ashton? And how has Ashton been able to understand I got two fathers? Is that. Cause I know this is all coexisting and co parenting. How does that flow? Cause a lot of parents, I feel like sometimes it can be kind of weird.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah. At first it was a little. It took Ashton a little bit, A little bit of time to open up to him. What I mean by a little bit of time was like, like a good six months. And then Chris was very nervous to meet Ashton, but he wanted to. He was like. I think he was more nervous than I was. Cause I was nervous. And the reason why I was nervous was because I'm like, this may really work. Like, I really, really. I feel like I love this guy. You know what I mean? And that's because he was trying to get to know who I was. He wasn't. It wasn't even about what I could do for him or Jess. Hilarious. It was about getting to know Jessica Robin more. And that's what I loved. And so I'm like, yeah, I got a kid and I come with a package and my son is a little older, you know, and he was like, well, I'd love to meet him. So when he finally met Ashton, Ashton interrogated him. Okay, what you do? Okay. Where you meet mom. Okay. What? All right, so you're a truck driver. Okay, so what route should be taking, like Ash you don't even know? Like, can you help him out with the map or something? You said. But what route she be taking? How long you. You know what I mean? But I loved it because I was like, oh, you probably sitting back, like, these are great questions, you know. And then when it came time for my husband and Rome to meet, Rome was already excited that he had started seeing a change in me.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. So he knew this is a good

[Jess Hilarious]

guy because previous relationships, Rome would take one look at the guy or just even from how my vibe would be and be like, nah, that you, you would have never me. You need to leave him alone. Like, I'm certain. See, he would be like, nah, you. Yeah, this. He gonna cheat. And he's probably already cheating. Oh, yeah. I'm pretty sure he just like me, you know? Like, he would be right and I would be so upset that he was right. You know what I'm saying? So when I met Chris, he instantly, like, he was instantly able to tap in and see, like, oh, no, that's a different type of dude.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

And then Jaz is showing to you. Like, okay, all right. And then my son told me about him.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Jess Hilarious]

So that was amazing to me, you know? And it was. It was great. Now there were boundaries that had to be put in place that my husband opened my eyes to, and that was that I was way too accessible for Rome. Like with Rome, Rome could call me one in the morning, two in the morning, and be like, yo, I'm with this bed. You know what I mean? Or I just got put out of shorty house and you know, and I get kicked. Yeah. But still to this day, Crystal can't get right. Yes. Can't get right. You know, and my husband one day had to be like, look, I understand that's your friend. I'm all for that. I love that y' all don't beef and stuff like that. But he can't call you one o' clock in the morning, you laying next to me. I can't believe if you really answered. It's not about Ashton. Cause Ashton is in his room. So what are we doing?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

And I'm like, I never thought about that.

[Jess Hilarious]

All right, now you right. You know what I'm saying? And when I broke it down to Rome, he totally respected it and understood, like, oh, no, you're right. You got a grown man. So I gotta chill.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I love that. Shout out, Chris and Rome. I love that I'm happy for you. Because it could be completely.

[Jess Hilarious]

It could have been a whole different type of situation.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

It could have really been just with

[Jess Hilarious]

the mess you already know in a mess. Yes. Seriously, for real.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Even in the messiest moments. This book is thread. It's a thread of grace throughout. And I love that how you wrote it. How did your faith carry you through the seasons where you felt overwhelmed, ashamed and undeserving?

[Jess Hilarious]

Ooh. See, faith is something I had since a little girl, like, born and raised in it, even when I didn't know how to. To pray. Right. Because my mom has always done that for us, you know, her kids is what I mean by us. Like, but she she didn't teach us how to pray. I just had to get that one day, even when I didn't know how to. Always knew that I could talk to God. That's one thing that she did always tell us. Talk to him. Your. Your prayer does not have to be perfect. You don't have to. There's no script. You don't have to get it right. He's not looking for you to come to him perfectly. If you stumble over your words, it's okay. You know, you keep talking, he hears you. That's how. That's how I did, girl. I would go, and I don't care where I was. I would be in my car. I would go. And if I was. Cuz even if I was at work, like McDonald's, I go in the bathroom and talk to God. I would. I would talk to him anywhere where I would be alone and by myself, like, off to a corner. That's honestly really how I got through it. And, you know, I feel like that's cliche because people say it, but, like, no, that's. That's real. I would really talk to him. And then in talking to him and going to him, because there was nothing that I would never take to him.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

He showed me how to pray. God told me. Taught me how to talk to him in a way where I can teach my children.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right.

[Jess Hilarious]

You know, And I. That's. That's. That. That's like. That's amazing. Yeah, that you can really. Like, you can't hear him. It's just something that he just shows you. Like, one day, I just found the words to do it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

And. And from then on, girl, I could pray somebody under a table. Like, sometimes, Chris, when I pray, I'll be like, dang, that was good, God. Like, okay, look at you working in me. You know, I'll be so hyped. Even though the Breakfast Club, I'll be like, Charlemagne. I just prayed a crazy prayer. I bet it was better than yours. Like, I know, I know. I'm getting a little crazy with the competition prayer, but I'll be patting myself on a bat, girl.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I know that's right.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Seriously, I love that. Was there ever a moment where you felt like God was still loving you in a season where you didn't love yourself?

[Jess Hilarious]

Mm. Yes. You know. Oh. Oh, my God. I'm glad you brought that up, because at one point, and I talk about this in the book, I was dating. I was dating. Selfishly, I wasn't dating. Like, I had a kid. Like, I was Dating based off of how you made me feel?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Jess Hilarious]

Like, wasn't even worried about, like, whether they were good with kids or not. Whether they could have a discussion with a kid, whether they could, you know, get to know my child or not. If you were doing something to make me feel good, you know, whether that was sex, just conversation. Because I didn't like to be alone. Whatever it was. If I felt like you were doing something for me, fine. You were good in my book. And I didn't love myself in that moment, but I felt like God definitely did. He did so much that he kept putting me in predicaments where I was constantly getting hurt until I woke up. Like, you think you being loved, girl? What? You don't even love yourself, so you can't even identify what love is. Like, this is not. This is not love. But I'm gonna let your little dumb tail go ahead and keep on getting hurt and keep holding that mirror up to yourself. Keep blaming it on everybody else. It's you. You haven't properly loved yourself.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

So you don't even know what. What's appropriate which will take you out here, taking anything. So, yeah, that's. That's that season for sure, where I felt like he loved me even when I didn't love myself.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I think we've all had a season like that in our lives. I know I have for sure, girl. Yeah. But, God, in closing, I want to ask you, you wrote this book and you took us on the journey with you. You didn't start off perfect all put together. You took us on this ride with you. What is it that you hope women take, even mothers take from this book when they get their hands on it.

[Jess Hilarious]

Accept and let it go. Like when I say, I really thought that I could write the story of my life that young. Yeah. That's why I say God has a sense of humor. God would be like, oh, look at you writing your little story, girl. You don't even know. I got so much to take you through and so much for you to learn from.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

He said, I'm really going to use something to write about.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes. And this is how that book was even birthed. Crystal. Like, you have to accept, accept that when you and your co parent aren't a good match and you, you come to that realization like, okay, I'm not going to be with this person. A relationship is not what we're supposed to be doing. That's not the end of the world. Just accept that part of it. Let that go. And then you can still Be a united front. You can still be good friends. Now a lot of people be like, I ain't going to be best friends because you best friends with your baby dad. How you do that? When you read the book and y' all see what he took me through, Listen, you cannot say, oh, I can't do that. Yes. There were many times I thought Rome and I could not be best friends or not be friends at all, period. But we said those vows. We put everything on the table. He apologized about how he, you know, for how badly he had hurt me. I hurt him as well. I take a lot of accountability in the book.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

You do? Yes.

[Jess Hilarious]

And I put that. I put that on the table. We put that behind us. And I said, Jerome McIvor James, I do not know how he got Maciver.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No. Like the Cho MacGyver back in the day.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes. His middle name is McIvor and Jerome is spelled with a G. So for a while, I was like, gurome, Gurome gurum. But child. Yeah, I'm gonna let him write about that in his book. But I said, I take you or do you take me, Jessica Robin Moore, to be, you know, y' all look lawfully wedded. Co parent that we take care of this kid through sickness, through health, even when we don't feel like we like each other, we got to still love each other and show him that we love each other. Rome in that moment, thought that was the corniest thing ever. But he thanked me just a few years ago, like, yo, that vows, like that co parent wedding little thing that we had, I think that's so dope. That's something that I would love to to do with the rest of my kids moms, like, that's something that I feel like is healthy if we want to show up and be the best parents that we can be for our kids. Because as long as you have a healthy co parenting relationship, you're going to have healthy, balanced kids. Yes. So accept. Let it go and move on. And stop sleeping with them.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Come on, say it again.

[Jess Hilarious]

Stop sleeping with your baby daddy. You don't got to do that. You don't have to do that. You already did it. Yeah. You already did it. Yeah. So that's it. That's the real thing.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That is the real thing. I absolutely love that. This season on Keep it positive, sweetie. We are leaning more into unapologetic. Just living unapologetically, which is tying into the hairline. But right now, like, even me living my life unapologetic, standing on who I Am. And even understanding more and more every day who I am and where I really want to take my life. I want to ask you, as a mother, as a woman, as a partner, how is Jess living unapologetically?

[Jess Hilarious]

Ooh, girl. I'm not. First of all, I'm not apologizing no more for nothing. I'm not. I've grown so much. And it's okay to say no.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

I have said yes because I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings. Like I just haven't put myself. Myself first.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

You know, because I was moving too afraid to hurt certain relationships or hurts people's feelings or, you know, I. I didn't want to be disliked. So I'm like, yes. Okay. Even though I don't want to give in and do things that even don't align with me or just no 34 year old Jessica Robert Moore toliver, as y' all may know me, just hilarious, unapologetic like that. That's not a bad thing.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

Sometimes you have to be a little selfish, you know, because you've been so selfless to a fault. Like you let people take advantage.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

And they don't reciprocate what you do for them. I've done so many things for people and people have taken, taken. And then I've lost so many, you know, relationships like friends and friendships and things like that. Just being married because I don't want to. I choose to not do things that I used to do.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Absolutely. As you should. Like.

[Jess Hilarious]

No, I'm not changing. I'm evolving. And listen, God is making me grow up. I have grown spiritually, mentally, and I love that this book shows a different side of Jessica Robin Moore Tyler. You know. Yeah. I'm. Of course I had to put Jessalurious on there. Cause that's how people would buy it, you know. But who is Jessica?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right?

[Jess Hilarious]

Right. And then all them names, I'm like Lord Mauds Oliver. I sound like a. They don't, uh. No, I can't be, uh, Jessica Robin Moore Taliban, you know? Yes. I'm living unapologetically. And I want to say thank you so much for sponsoring my Mother's Day event. You are so with unapologetic hair products. Girl, listen, all the women. Cause you know, it was a Baltimore event, so everybody was like, oh my God, tell Crystal that we love her so much. Cause she ain't spend. No, she ain't spend a little travel size. We got full size stuff. We gotta check this in the airport.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

We can't Carry it on. Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

Crystal. I was like, y' all so ghetto, y'. All. I'm gonna tell us. Y' all say thank you, but I so appreciate you.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No, I was happy to do that.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes. You helped me. You really, really helped me honor 60 women, sister. 60 matriarchs in families and in business, and just women in power. And they were definitely empowered.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Amazing. That's what it's about, Jess.

[Jess Hilarious]

It is, yes. And I feel that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

However, like I told you before, the cameras are rolling. However, we can support you if you have anything else going on. I feel like that's what women should do. And don't be afraid to call. Like, hey, Chris, I know you got this going on. I know what's up.

[Jess Hilarious]

I know, but you be so. Girl, you be busy. Listen, Ashawna, listen. She do not listen. You are like the Jackson 5. She like Joe and you are Michael. Okay, I'm sorry, Ashanna. I'm sorry, Ashanna. She ain't gonna beat me. She gonna beat you.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

She's nicer than Joe.

[Jess Hilarious]

Okay, all right, so she a little nicer than Joe.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah, she's much nicer than Joe.

[Jess Hilarious]

All right, cool. All right, well, I'm gonna go in. All right. All right, well, I'm gonna say Catherine. She like Catherine. She like the mom.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

All right. Yeah, she's definitely more Catherine.

[Jess Hilarious]

But I'm so proud of you. You are everywhere.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Thank you.

[Jess Hilarious]

I love it. I really, really love it. You a stylist, you the hair girl, you sing, you the actress, everything. And Rome told me to tell you he got the biggest crush. Now, he in a relationship, probably gonna be in trouble, but he told me to tell you he got the biggest crush on you. He loves you so much, Tyrone. Yeah, exactly. That's it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

From your crush. Get it together, please.

[Jess Hilarious]

Right? We pray.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

We gonna put you on the altar today.

[Jess Hilarious]

Okay? Thank you.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Thank you, Crystal. No, thank you so much. And everybody, please go get Jess new book. Till death do we parents. You will not regret it. I promise you that. Just thank you so much. This is so good. What I appreciate most about this conversation is how honest it is. Not just about motherhood or co parenting, but about survival, healing, and the pressure that so many women feel to always appear strong. Jess doesn't pretend to have all the answers. She lets us see the fear, the guilt, the growth, the softness and the rebuilding that happened along the way. And I think that is what makes this story so powerful. Because sometimes healing isn't about becoming perfect. It's about finally giving yourself permission to be honest about what hurt, what changed you, and what you're still learning. So thank you Jess for your honesty, for your humor and your willingness to tell this story so openly. Thank you guys so much for tuning into another episode of the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. Be sure to grab your copy of Til Death Do We Parent where books are sold. Don't forget to download the Season 11 KIPS Reflection Guide at Chrisrenaehaza.com subscribe and share this episode with someone who needs it. And if you ever need advice, positivity, or just want to share what you're going through, email us at keepitpositive outcomes gmail.com as always, stay blessed, stay encouraged, and keep it positive, sweetie. I'll see you guys next time.

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