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- [00:01]
A
Calling all my sweeties to the forefront, I'm your host, Chris Renee Hazlett, and this is the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. Hello, and welcome back to the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. A safe space to heal, laugh, grow, and love and keep things real with a positive twist. I'm your host, Krista Renee Hayslett, and I am so excited about today's episode. We've got an incredibly talented artist in the building. He's a Grammy award winning singer, songwriter, and producer.
- [00:28]
B
Award.
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A
Who's made waves with his bold sound and fearless storytelling. He's also making incredible waves in the fashion world. I'm talking about the one and only. None other than St. John. St. John. Thank you so much for coming.
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B
Thank you for having me.
- [00:43]
A
Yes. We are going to break the ice with a quick game called roses and rapid fire. All right, are you ready?
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B
I'm ready.
- [00:49]
A
All right, so all you have to do is give me one word that comes to mind when I give you a word. First word is fashion.
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B
Sexy.
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C
Home.
- [00:58]
B
Peaceful.
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A
Hair.
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B
Luxurious.
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A
The bigger picture.
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B
Plans.
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A
Grammys.
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B
Must.
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A
Coachella.
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B
Grandeur.
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C
Mm.
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A
Puerto Rico.
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B
Political.
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C
Mm.
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A
Beyonce.
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B
Grammys.
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C
Yeah.
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A
Book of Clarence.
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B
Family. Oh, man. I just think of James.
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C
Yes.
- [01:31]
A
Guyana.
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B
Home.
- [01:33]
A
Festival season.
- [01:36]
B
On time.
- [01:37]
A
All right, I love it. Let's get into it. So I don't know if you remember this. 2017. It was Emmy weekend. Tyler Perry's birthday. He had a huge party in the backyard. James Samuel was on the piano. Everybody, when I say everybody named Mama. Every. I came from, like, I looked to my left. Al Pacino was sitting next to me. And then you look to your right, and it's Samuel L. Jackson saying, what up, mf? Or like, you know what I'm saying. It was like you just didn't know who you were gonna see. And then James calls this kid to the stage, and it was you.
- [02:10]
B
Yeah.
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A
This is my first introduction to you. And I called Tyler last night. I said, what year was that party? And he was like, which one? And I was explaining. He's like, that was 2017.
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B
That was his 50th.
- [02:21]
A
No, we hadn't made 50. He was like, 47.
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B
Okay.
- [02:24]
A
It was like, an odd year. But, yeah, it was 47. And we had a time. But that was my first introduction to you, and I was an instant fan.
- [02:32]
B
Oh, thank you.
- [02:33]
C
Yes.
- [02:33]
A
Yes. It's funny, I was telling Donna how things come full circle, and that was one of the moments. I was like, wow, I get to interview him now. But I remember the first time I was introduced to you.
- [02:44]
B
I remember that distinctly.
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A
Wasn't that a crazy night?
- [02:46]
B
Yeah. Cause I was in the back somewh. Like to paint the picture of how dynamic, enormous and impactful that room was. Like, the world would shake if that room said, we're gonna all do something. The whole planet would shake.
- [03:02]
A
Literally.
- [03:03]
B
Yeah, it was powerful. It was really, really powerful. I remember Mariah Carey being at the bar over here. I remember. Cause James does this. So James would be like, look, just come, just show up. And I won't know what I'm showing up for. He's like, just trust me, just trust me. And I trust him. It's my brother. So I'm showing up and pulling up for whatever he needs. And he's like, yo, just. You're gonna be all right.
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A
That was a pull up.
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B
Yeah, that was a pull up.
- [03:26]
C
Yeah.
- [03:27]
B
That's not the first time he's done that.
- [03:29]
A
Wow.
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B
That was a pull up. I remember who he. He passed at this point. Michael.
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A
Oh, yes, Michael.
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B
What is his last name?
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A
He was on the wire.
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B
Yes, he was on the wire. He deserves to be.
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A
Yes, his name.
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B
Celebrated his name. What was his last name?
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A
Scarlett.
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B
Yeah, of course he said Omar. We definitely know Chalky White from the other movie. Yes, the other show. But it's Michael. His first name.
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A
We're gonna get his name.
- [04:01]
B
This was before he passed. I remember Michael Williams. Michael K. Williams. I remember running to. Running into him at the bathroom and he was just. His energy was just turned like, with humility and peaceful and gratitude. And he was just like. I was like, man, this is Omar. Yes, Omar with the sky. He's such a nice guy.
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A
He's so nice.
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B
Such a nice guy.
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A
That was really sad when I heard of his passing because having an interaction with him as well, I was like, man, when you meet people and really get to feel their energy, he was like nothing like his characters. Like, the way he portrayed was genius. Like he came at every character in such a beautiful way. But then when you get to meet him. Such a beautiful soul.
- [04:42]
C
Yeah, special.
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B
Special soul.
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A
For sure. For sure.
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B
That was a really memorable night.
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C
It was.
- [04:48]
B
Do you remember? I remember Kelly Rowland being in the front row. Right. I remember that. And James caught me on stage right after I closed my eyes so I could picture it. It was Usher.
- [05:00]
A
I knew you could say Usher.
- [05:01]
C
Yes.
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B
And Donald Glover, he popped up out of nowhere. They were doing a duet.
- [05:05]
A
Yes. Yeah, it was a crazy night.
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B
It was a crazy night. And then James was like, yo, come do Reflex. Cause that's his favorite song of mine. So he starts performing it with me. Yeah, it was good. It was sort of mind blowing.
- [05:16]
A
It was. Yeah. We can reminisce just on. We can reminisce on that night alone for, like, hours. It was such a good night. So let's talk about your journey going back to the beginning. You grew up between Brooklyn and Guyana. What was that like between shifting between both cultures?
- [05:32]
B
It was poorer and poorer. I thought we were at the bottom in Brooklyn. Cause we on food stamps. My mom is working three shifts. She's a nurse's aide. She's just trying to hustle, by the way. I spent her and I spent the last couple weeks talking about the word hustle.
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A
Really?
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B
Cause she's old school. My mom is 65. So when I say hustle, and she'd heard me say it, like in an interview or something, she's like, I wasn't a prostitute. Cause she thought. Cause her only concept of hustle is prostitution. She's like, I wasn't a street walker. I said, come on. You know, I'm not. That's not what I'm saying. But she got it. And she's like, you know what? You're right. I was a super hustler.
- [06:10]
C
Yeah.
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B
Get into it, get into it, get into it. Before she knew what the bag was. She wasn't getting to the bag. Cause my mom has four kids.
- [06:16]
A
Oh, wow.
- [06:18]
B
So and single mom. My pops just wasn't around. He was just off doing whatever he was doing.
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C
Yeah.
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B
So she was working as much as she possibly could. And we were super poor. We had the Monopoly money. This was one of the food stamps, was, you know, multicolored. And I remember thinking, you know, we're as broke as we could possibly get. We're as poor as we could possibly be. But what was really, really, really important to her, she was so astute. My mom was so sharp. She was just really clear on her vision and what she needed for her kids. We lived a block away from the projects all the time, every time. So I grew up in Brooklyn. It was always one block away from the projects. Because for her, those centimeters and millimeters away made a magnificent difference in what she could make sure she embedded into us as children. And she's right. It would have been a tremendous difference. Cause we got into so much trouble. There was so much trauma and drama growing up, me and my brothers, that if I was inside the box, as opposed to 10 millimeters away from the box, we probably wouldn't have been here talking to me. The world would have never heard about me.
- [07:25]
C
Wow.
- [07:26]
A
You talked about Your mother being a preacher? Yeah, my mom was a pastor, so we were PK kids. And just like you, every time the doors of the church opened, we was in there. And I know we all, like. I went through a phase in my life where I was like, I'm not going. As soon as I got to college, I just stopped going to church. I was like, you're forced to do it your whole life. And like, Sunday school, choir practice, Bible study, the meetings, like, before and after church, it was just like, oh, it's too much. The second service, it's a lot. Have you been able to, like, find your own relationship with God in your own way? Cause I feel like we are the church. It's not a building. Having to go into someone. How do you, like, carry that out in your day to day life now?
- [08:07]
B
So I think it manifests itself in my art and my creativity and my portrayal of my creativity, probably even more than in my day to day life because it's such a normal function. It's a normal function of behavior. I'll explain it a little bit better.
- [08:20]
C
Okay.
- [08:21]
B
So I make music all the time, every day, almost. And the cathartic experience of me making music is almost like I'm doing mantras and I'm almost praying all the time. You'll always hear biblical references. You'll always hear religious references in my music. And it's not things I'm planning or scheduling or conceiving.
- [08:43]
A
It's in you.
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C
Yeah.
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B
It's just happening. Right. So it's almost like I'm praying in small portions constantly. And if I didn't take stock or have enough self awareness, I'd miss it.
- [08:54]
C
Yeah.
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A
Yeah.
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B
I'd miss all the songs and all the tributes that I make to God. I'd miss it all the time. But as you see, like, My name is St. John. My mom named me that. It's my birth name.
- [09:05]
C
Yeah.
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B
It keeps following me.
- [09:09]
C
Yep.
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B
It keeps. I thought I ran away.
- [09:12]
A
He's like, I'm right behind you.
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C
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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B
The cross is my logo.
- [09:16]
A
I saw it. Yeah. Even on your post, you always put the purple emoji with the cross.
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C
Yeah.
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B
It just keeps not haunting me. Wouldn't be the right word. But it keeps trailing me. It's always, ever, ever present. Because I definitely ran away from the institution at church.
- [09:30]
A
Yes.
- [09:31]
B
I hated that. I hated that. I hated what it tried to force upon me. I hated what it tried to teach me that I had to be. I hated how prejudicial it was and how hell and Brim fire. I hate that level of preaching. I didn't like that it wasn't inclusive in whatever your journey could be or your process could be. But in my daily regimen, my daily practice, I'm giving it up to God all the time. Even in the small ways. My mom told me. She said I was telling about something I was going through recently, and she said, cool, you just gotta go talk to God. She's like, you know, I don't beg God for nothing. I love your mom's accent for nothing. I just go to the father. And I said, look, Father is what I need.
- [10:11]
C
Yeah. Yeah.
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B
And I'm like, that's it? Yeah, mom, that's it.
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C
Yeah, that's it.
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A
You don't have to beg him. I mean, just like, you wouldn't have to beg your mom for something.
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B
Correct.
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A
We don't have to beg him. I love that. I gotta meet your mom. She seems like, she cool.
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B
Yeah, she's special.
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C
Very much. I love that.
- [10:27]
A
So we just finished New York Fashion Week, and one thing I will say about you. Cause I didn't. We had never officially met. Like, I think I had posted one of your songs after Tyler's party, and you sent me a little emoji, like, response or whatever. And I was like, been a fan ever since Tyler's party. Like, you were there. I'm like, yeah, but we never met in real life. And when I met you last week at Fashion Week, your energy, like, it's something like you're. First of all, you have this confidence when you enter the room. But then, like, when you're like, hi, how are you doing? Like, you're just so welcoming. It's not like that. I know I'm the shit. Like, it's like, I know who I am, but, hello, how are you? It's like, I felt that. And just watching you, like, move through the room, I was like, this guy's got it. You just have it. Where did that confidence come from?
- [11:16]
B
I think my first thought is probably failing. Failing so much.
- [11:19]
C
Wow.
- [11:20]
B
Yeah. I've been through so much. I fail. I missed so many times. I'm proud of myself, but not proud of myself because I'm something special. I'm proud of myself because I've never given up on myself. So when I walk in a room, even if it's my first time in a room, it might be my last time in a room. I might never get back in that room again. And I'm grateful to be there. And I could be the guy that's holding the camera. I could be the guy that's holding the lights. I could be the guy that's moving the plants. I could be the guy in front of the camera. I could be the guy that's moving the magazines. And I'm aware of that in my life. So I'm always grateful for everybody who's there. I'm like, yo, what's up?
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C
Yeah.
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B
Like, I don't know who you are, but I'm sure you're here for a reason, so I just want to say hi.
- [12:01]
C
Yeah.
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B
And I think my confidence comes from all of the things, all the experiences, all of the pitfalls, all the missteps, all of the misinformations, all of the bad nights, but still having to get up in the early mornings to figure out how to do it again.
- [12:13]
C
Yeah.
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B
Like, you got to keep the same energy. You know that when people say that, it took me a long, long time to realize what that meant. It means that even when it's bad, even when it's good, when a roller coaster goes up, when a roller coaster goes down, when the day is rough, when your hair ain't done, your makeup is messed up, when your shoes is muddy, when your shirt is tatted, eyelashes.
- [12:34]
C
About to come off.
- [12:37]
B
Something has to stay standard. Something has to be the same. Keep the same energy. It's all good.
- [12:43]
C
Yeah.
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B
One day you're up, next day you're down. Long as you stay the same, it'll come back around.
- [12:47]
C
I love that.
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B
I kind of live by that.
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C
Yeah.
- [12:49]
A
Speaking of ups and downs, what is a moment through the failures and the ups and downs that really stood with you and was like, man, I really made it through that.
- [13:01]
B
Sometimes it's tough for me to pinpoint. Cause they're daily, I think, you know, if your skin is clear and you walk in bold and straight, there's a presumption that you don't have to deal with pain or you're just in a peaceful place. So. And it definitely doesn't mean that I'm wrestling with shit.
- [13:26]
C
Yeah.
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B
Pardon me if I'm cursing.
- [13:27]
A
No, yeah, that's fine.
- [13:28]
B
Yeah. I'm wrestling with things on a regular basis, so I'm trying to pinpoint one of the most challenging times. Oh, man. I don't know. We might have to circle back for a second.
- [13:41]
C
I don't know.
- [13:41]
A
That's okay. Cause I just. I know, like, we all have. For me, there's moments of my life where I'm like, ooh, that was, like, a rough season. I think me moving to Atlanta was probably One of my toughest, like, depressing seasons of my life. Trying to figure everything out, starting all over again. That's like, one season. I remember I was like. That was rough for me, where I really had to lean on my faith. Cause I didn't know where the next meal was coming from. Nothing. But I was.
- [14:05]
B
Is that one of the roughest or is that just closest in reference point?
- [14:10]
A
Closest in. No, that was probably one.
- [14:12]
B
That was probably the roughest.
- [14:12]
A
And it felt so long. Like, you know how sometimes you just have, like, a bad week. This felt like a bad year where I was just like, okay, now, did I make the right choice coming here? Clearly I did, but definitely, yeah, that was definitely a season. I want to talk about your music. You have such a unique blend. I don't know. There's no genre to put you in a category. For me, when I listen to your music, I feel like you kind of touch on everything. What was the inspiration for that? What is your creative process?
- [14:42]
B
I'm free.
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C
I love that.
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A
Yeah, I can tell.
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B
I move like I'm free. I live like I'm free. Because, in truth, quietly, I'm in search of freedom.
- [14:51]
C
Wow.
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B
I'm trying to project the thing that.
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A
I'm in search of.
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B
In search of, like, I'm desperately grappling at something that I want to feel, that I want to be able to provide to the people around me and that I'd like to be able to give as hope for the people who are just observing me. It's the freedom that I'm chasing. A thing that I know is possible that I'm really, really, really, really, really desperately trying to hold on to. So when I go make music, because I'm not no natural talent, I'm like, I don't care. I don't care how I come across. And I'm not being humble. I'm not. This is. This is me being clear. This is clarity.
- [15:25]
C
Yeah.
- [15:26]
B
Right. Maybe I'm special in a way that we're all special. If you sat down with anybody and got to see the inner workings of how their clock worked, you'd be like, oh, that person is magnificent. They do a thing really remarkably.
- [15:38]
C
Yes.
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B
I don't think I'm special in any type of way. I think I'm highlighted because I found my place. But I found my place because I spent my seasons harvesting my talent. Cause I wasn't good.
- [15:51]
A
Wow.
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B
Because I started out just rapping, just battle rapping, just pursuing something I was really desperately interested in and wasn't good at first. And Then got good and then hit so many brick walls. I spent 20 years making music before anybody had heard my name.
- [16:04]
C
Wow.
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B
Like, 20 years.
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A
That's what we don't hear.
- [16:07]
B
Yeah. A real 20 years. Imagine keeping the same energy for 20 years and keeping your skin glowing for 20 years. And keeping your physique strong for 20 years. And keeping your mind sharp for 20 years. And being brave and courageous for 20 years. And staying locked in for 20 years.
- [16:24]
C
Yeah.
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B
It's a long. It's many, many, many summers. Most people give up on themselves long before the sun rises for them.
- [16:30]
A
Literally. No. And that's why you are where you are today. A lot of people don't make it to be where you are and to live the life you live and to be free and creative because they give up.
- [16:41]
B
Yeah.
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A
And when people say, man, that just happened. No, it didn't happen overnight. It was 20 years.
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B
It was 20 years.
- [16:48]
C
Yeah.
- [16:49]
A
That's real.
- [16:49]
B
In those 20 years, I made so many different choices. I made so many different types of styles of music. I just allowed myself to grow.
- [16:57]
C
Yeah.
- [16:58]
B
So when you hear me and you hear my experiences musically, you're looking like the maturation of somebody who's in search of freedom. That's just living through that. I want to make sure that I represent that when you hear it. So I use my voice as an instrument. It's just an instrument. Sometimes I'm rapping, sometimes I'm singing. Sometimes it sounds a little bit like R and B, although I don't know much about R and B. Sometimes it sounds like dancehall, Although I'm not overly intoxicated with dancehall at this present point in my life. Sometimes it's country music, because I think dancehall and country music is the same thing with a different accent.
- [17:32]
C
Yeah. Yeah.
- [17:33]
B
Basically, for some reason, I think I can hear the through line between when the letters A connect to the letters F. I'm just making, like, a strange comparison. I can hear how you can get from A to F. I'm like, oh, no. These things connect, and that's why these relate. And I'm constantly playing and evolving with sound and lyric and substance. So I'm honestly. You're watching honest experiments.
- [18:00]
C
Yeah.
- [18:00]
B
Right. When you hear the music. So I'm genre diversion, because I'm just honestly experimenting, trying to find it.
- [18:07]
A
Do you feel like you found your sound, or do you feel like it's always evolving?
- [18:10]
B
It's always evolving.
- [18:11]
C
Yeah.
- [18:12]
B
I found my truth. And in my. My truth is the core of my sound, because I'm always just Telling my story.
- [18:20]
A
Right.
- [18:21]
B
So no matter what it sounds like, I was giving this example. So I could be making a horror film, or I could be making an action movie, or I could be making a rom com, but I'm always believable because I'm telling my truth within that story.
- [18:35]
C
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [18:36]
A
I got you. That makes sense. I love that you started off doing songwriting for people, but then you stated, I was having success. But who wants to live their dreams through someone else's eyes? At what point? What was that aha Moment? That, no, I need to be doing this for myself. Like, what was that shift? Or were you in the studio when you were like, wait, what am I. What am I doing? Like, when did you have that moment where you're like, I need to do this for myself?
- [19:02]
B
There was about. There was two of them, so maybe three. So there's one time I was writing songs, and it was before I got any, like, significant placements. By placements, I mean any progress with any landing any songs with any major artists. Right, right. I remember I started songwriting, and it was maybe, let's say, two years into, like, really honing my craft and getting good, and I would have meetings with A&Rs or record executives, like, by the time I finally figured out how to be useful. Songwriting, by the way, for me, was the first time in my life that I was in service of someone in service of something else. It was the first time that I came into a room and asked, what could I do for you? As opposed to asking for something that I needed. And by virtue of asking other people what I could do for them, it changed my life. It opened my world. It first of all, sat me down and humbled me. It let me know you're not as important as you think you are. Shut up. Go into the back of the room, listen, Take criticism, take judgment, internalize it, recycle it, and become better. Get great. It was like training camp.
- [20:08]
C
Yeah.
- [20:09]
B
Because most. When you're an artist, you believe you're right because you believe in yourself. When you become in service of somebody else's art, you have to take criticism, critiques. You have to take judgment. You have to. You get sharper because it's someone else's lens, someone else's vision. So it's an incredible training course. So I remember going finally having relationships enough to have meetings with a rs, and I'm having these A and R meetings and having these management meetings, and I'm giving them my songs and playing my songs, and maybe 24 months into that Right. Because that's just one part of it.
- [20:43]
A
Right.
- [20:44]
B
They started. Someone said, oh, this is really good. This song is really good. I was like, oh, that meant. I thought that meant something good.
- [20:52]
C
Yeah.
- [20:52]
B
It's like. But I can't take it. I was like, you just said, it's really good. They were like, it sounds too much like you.
- [21:00]
C
Oh, my God.
- [21:01]
B
And it took me 12 months from that point to see the value in that statement. That statement changed my life.
- [21:07]
A
It sounds too much like me.
- [21:08]
B
It sounds too much like me.
- [21:09]
A
You're like, that's.
- [21:10]
B
It took me 12 months to go, wow. Oh, it's. Oh, I got it.
- [21:16]
C
Yes.
- [21:18]
B
Oh, I got it. I'm not invisible.
- [21:20]
C
Yeah.
- [21:21]
B
You hear me? You can't even avoid me through the thing that I'm trying to hide myself behind. To be in service of somebody else's.
- [21:29]
C
That's powerful.
- [21:30]
B
And that changed me. And then the first time I'd written, like, I got the Usher record, and like, I guess a year or so had passed. I think there was a time period between the Usher record and closing my eyes. I can remember correctly. The Usher record ended a song that I wrote called Roses, which was intended for Beyonce. That was the intended target. Because I'm just songwriting at this point. I'm in my friend's. I'm in my producer, who's a friend of mine. His name is Fallen. I'm in his bedroom in Bushwick, and we're making these records in his bedroom. And they were like, yo, yo. Whoever the A and R was at the time was like, yo, we need records. We need ideas for B. Yeah. And I was like, okay, cool. I know what I want her to do.
- [22:13]
A
Right.
- [22:14]
B
That's what I was thinking. Like, all right, as a fan, this is where I want her to go next. This is unexplained, unexplored territory. So I wrote Roses, and it was in between writing roses and writing Crash for Usher, and we sent roses in. And I think there was no response at first, and then there was a response like, nah, this. This isn't it. Whatever it was, I'm. I'm butchering whatever the language that came back. But I knew that I believed in the song so much that I was clear. I was like, oh, they don't hear it.
- [22:47]
C
Yes.
- [22:48]
B
Oh, they don't hear it. That doesn't mean this isn't what it. What I think it is. That just means they don't hear it.
- [22:53]
A
Right.
- [22:53]
B
There's nothing wrong with that. And if I think this is what I think it is, Then it's for me. I'll go put it out.
- [23:00]
A
I love that.
- [23:00]
B
And I did that. I think it was 2016 when that conversation happened, and I put it out in 2017.
- [23:06]
C
Wow.
- [23:07]
A
And it was phenomenal. Do you feel like that's the song that changed everything?
- [23:12]
B
I think a bunch of things changed my life. Because if I'd have just put that song out in 2017 and sat down, nothing would have happened.
- [23:20]
A
Right?
- [23:21]
C
Yeah.
- [23:21]
B
I think the fact that I put this song out, went on tour when no one knew my name, when no one cared about me, and I opened. I was first of four for work, doing. I was opening for Post Malone.
- [23:34]
C
Oh, wow.
- [23:34]
B
The first of four. Look, you don't gotta be in music, you don't gotta be in art, you don't gotta be in fashion. To be the first of four for the headliner is a terrible position to be in. If you see it that way.
- [23:48]
A
Right? If you see.
- [23:49]
C
Yes.
- [23:49]
A
Gotta see your perspective.
- [23:50]
C
Yeah.
- [23:51]
B
I saw it as an opportunity.
- [23:52]
C
Good.
- [23:53]
B
Right. That means he comes on capacities for it. Absolutely. He comes on at 9:30, doors open at 7, and I'm on at 7:10. Maybe the room at capacity is 1500 people. And by the time I start performing that, maybe there's 85 people, maybe there's 110. And I'm just giving everything I got because those hundred is ten people are gonna know my name.
- [24:17]
C
Yeah. Yeah.
- [24:19]
B
I just moved my feet and did the work. I just kept doing the work.
- [24:23]
C
Yeah.
- [24:24]
B
And that is what changed my life. That's what allowed me to match the energy of a song that I knew the world should hear. So the song was before its time, and I had to catch up in energy. So the song went this way and I had to go this way. So it was waiting for me to match its energy.
- [24:39]
C
I love it.
- [24:40]
A
I love. I just love how life works. In closing, I want to talk about a few things. We want to be nosy just a bit.
- [24:47]
B
All right.
- [24:48]
A
We'll start off easy. First, how do you maintain your work life balance?
- [24:52]
B
I don't have a work life balance.
- [24:54]
A
Okay. You just. It's whatever. Like, work is life.
- [24:57]
B
Yeah, work is life. I don't.
- [24:59]
A
I feel you.
- [25:00]
B
Yeah, Yeah. I record in my living room because I don't want there to be a separation between church and state. For me, when I'm done working, I want to go to bed. And when I wake up at peace, I want to go to work. I love it and I need it to be fluid.
- [25:17]
C
Yeah.
- [25:17]
B
That's why I can tell my Truth. Because I'm not rehearsing anything.
- [25:21]
C
Yeah.
- [25:21]
B
I'm not prepping anything to get to a place. I remember when I was just getting started, the studio time was $20 an hour and I could only be in a studio for an hour and a half because I'd only saved up 30 bucks.
- [25:30]
C
Yeah.
- [25:32]
B
I'm. I remember that guy in the back of my head. So when I finally got into a position where my home could be my studio, I'm like, I want to be able to work when the idea strikes me.
- [25:42]
C
Yeah.
- [25:42]
A
Right.
- [25:43]
B
I'll wake up at 8 o' clock and I'll be in the studio by 8:09.
- [25:46]
A
I know that's right.
- [25:47]
B
I'll do 25 push ups and start recording and then knock on the door to wake up my engineer like, Louie.
- [25:52]
A
Get up, get up.
- [25:53]
B
I got something, I got something. It's time.
- [25:55]
A
I love that, I love that. Are you in a relationship?
- [26:00]
B
Yeah.
- [26:01]
A
You are?
- [26:02]
B
Yeah.
- [26:03]
A
Okay. He said, yeah. What is the DNA of the perfect mate for St. John? Like, how would you describe that person?
- [26:13]
B
She has to be humble and bold and I'm in love with a hustler. I'm in love with somebody who knows how to go and get it. Figure it out. I like a brilliant. All I ever wanted was a brilliant. I'm a big fan of a triple melanin girl. Of a super chocolate woman.
- [26:40]
C
Love it.
- [26:40]
B
Yeah. Of a brown skinned queen.
- [26:42]
A
Brown skinned girl. Is that the inspiration behind that?
- [26:45]
C
Yeah, I love it.
- [26:46]
A
Yeah, I love it. Do you want children?
- [26:50]
B
Wow, what a big question. I'm pausing because there's so much that goes with that. It's not a simple thing. It's not like, yo, I just want children. If you want children, you're going to have to figure out how to feed them, how to love them, how to guard them, how to provide for them mentally, how to safeguard their future, how to craft a plan for them.
- [27:08]
C
Yes.
- [27:10]
B
Despite the plan you have for yourself, you're going to have to figure out how two parallel lines work together. Even when they separate sometimes that's real. So, yeah, I'd love to have children, but I need to be able to give them all the things that I know that are important. Because now I'm wiser than I've ever been when my mom had me. She ain't know no better. My mom comes from 10 and she created four.
- [27:30]
C
Yeah.
- [27:30]
B
And all of my brothers and sisters have kids. And I'm thinking to myself, I held out the longest.
- [27:37]
C
Me too.
- [27:38]
B
I kept a good fight going. Right.
- [27:40]
A
Me too.
- [27:41]
B
I did as much as I possibly could. And I want to be. It'd be a tragedy for me to leave this planet and not let someone inherit all the things that I learned intuitively. Like, stand as close to me as possible and say, yo, look, I got it for you. I know how we're going to do this. I'm going to make this better for you. I got all this love for you. All of these failures that I failed. I can teach you, but I need to be able to do it honestly and earnestly and with full energy and attention. And I can't take a break from the things that I love outside of my familial life.
- [28:16]
C
Yeah.
- [28:17]
A
Yeah.
- [28:17]
B
So I have to figure out that juggle. So. I'd love to. I'd love to be in a place where I got. There's a little one. I walk in here and you're like, oh, you see him in the corner. You reading that book I gave him. That'd be cool.
- [28:29]
C
Yeah.
- [28:30]
B
But I gotta do it the right way. It has to be done the right way, or I'm gonna produce something that was as messed up as I was and I have to figure out how to heal myself.
- [28:39]
C
Yeah.
- [28:39]
B
Still I am. I'm still figuring that out.
- [28:41]
C
Yeah. I love that.
- [28:43]
A
St. John, thank you so much. Thank you. Is there anything else? I want to know what's next that you can tell our audience how we can support you in your future endeavors. What's coming up?
- [28:52]
B
I'm going on tour again. I'm really excited about that.
- [28:56]
A
Okay.
- [28:56]
C
We got it.
- [28:56]
A
We got to go on tour. We got to hit one of those spots.
- [28:59]
B
So I start festival season tour. Tour is my most honest version of myself. I make it a plain not to lie about who I am, what I am, and what I'm trying to do. But on tour, because it's just me and a microphone and a captive audience.
- [29:14]
C
Yeah.
- [29:15]
B
And I don't think I'm as creative as other people think I am. So when I'm on that stage, I can't hide from you.
- [29:21]
A
No. It's the most exposure.
- [29:23]
B
It's like, this is it.
- [29:24]
C
Yeah.
- [29:25]
B
It's me and you. 70 something minutes. The lights are either bright or moody. I can't be so clever that I come up with all of this storyline. My memory ain't even that good. I be forgetting my lyrics so much less the. The nonsense I planned on saying. So I'm either gonna give. I gotta give you my truth. So whatever it is, I'm giving my truth. So touring me is the most vulnerable open, unhinged me possible. So if you really see that and you love that, then you figured out a way to love me for who I am. So I'm really excited to go back on tour.
- [29:53]
C
I love it.
- [29:54]
A
I cannot wait to come see you.
- [29:56]
B
You're gonna love it.
- [29:57]
A
I'm so excited.
- [29:57]
B
You're gonna love it.
- [29:58]
A
Well, anyway, we will definitely support you, sweeties. Make sure you download his new album when it comes out, and we will definitely catch you on one of your tour dates. Thank you so much.
- [30:07]
B
Thank you.
- [30:08]
A
Seriously, you have been a joy. I absolutely love your energy.
- [30:11]
B
Thank you.
- [30:11]
A
Thank you so much.
- [30:12]
B
Thank you. I love yours, too. This is. And congrats. Seven seasons.
- [30:15]
C
Thank you.
- [30:16]
A
Thank you.
- [30:16]
B
It's no small feat to do anything consistently.
- [30:20]
C
Wow. Yeah.
- [30:21]
A
Thank you. I received that. Thank you.
- [30:23]
B
It's a miracle.
- [30:23]
C
For real? No.
- [30:25]
B
And it looked good and it smelled good. The hallway smelled good. You know how hard that is? I was like, what's going on through here?
- [30:31]
A
All the way down. I'm like, yeah.
- [30:33]
C
Yeah.
- [30:33]
A
You like, Burt. I love it. I love it. We are coming out with actually some home candles. Oh, shameless plug. But I'll send you.
- [30:40]
B
Oh, line me up.
- [30:40]
A
I got you. Yeah, I got you.
- [30:42]
B
That's one of my next endeavors.
- [30:43]
A
Okay. Come on.
- [30:44]
B
Let's do a little collab. Yeah.
- [30:45]
C
Yeah.
- [30:45]
B
I love that. Is it. Well, I'm not gonna ask about this. This is probably not yours.
- [30:50]
A
No, this is one of the sandals.
- [30:51]
B
This is one of the joints.
- [30:52]
C
Yeah.
- [30:53]
B
My dog.
- [30:54]
C
Yeah.
- [30:55]
B
Yeah, I need that.
- [30:56]
A
Yeah, I got you. We'll send you a big one.
- [30:57]
C
Yeah, yeah.
- [30:58]
A
Thank you.
- [30:59]
B
Nah. Thank you for having me.
- [31:00]
A
Of course.
- [31:00]
B
This is dope.
- [31:05]
A
Oh, my goodness, guys. My episode with St. John was more than I could have ever imagined. His energy, his spirit, his journey was so inspiring. The one thing I took from him was when he said that it was 20 years until he got his first shot. And also, he said it wasn't until he was in service of others that he really learned everything he needed to learn. So that's a note I think we can all take. Is be of service to others. Wow. What an amazing conversation with St. John. I hope you're leaving inspired as I am. He's a true testament to staying authentic and working hard and trusting the journey. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. Don't forget to subscribe. Subscribe. Leave a review and share this episode with someone that can use a little positivity. Follow me on all platforms. Ovchrisrenae and you can also write into our Positive Outcomes Listener letter@keepitposivesweetiemail.com In the meantime, in between time, you know what to do. Keep it positive, sweeties. Sa.