Full Circle Moments w/ Saint Jhn

Summary

Podcast Summary: Keep It Positive, Sweetie | Episode: Full Circle Moments w/ Saint Jhn

Introduction

In the episode titled "Full Circle Moments" of Keep It Positive, Sweetie, host Crystal Renee Hayslett sits down with the multifaceted artist Saint Jhn. Released on April 21, 2025, this episode delves deep into Saint Jhn's journey as a Grammy-winning singer, songwriter, and producer who has also made significant strides in the fashion industry. The conversation is a blend of heartfelt reminiscing, insightful discussions on creativity, faith, and personal growth, all wrapped in the podcast's signature positive and empowering tone.

First Encounters and Full Circle Moments

The episode opens with Crystal reminiscing about a pivotal moment in 2017 when she first met Saint Jhn at Tyler Perry's 47th birthday party. Surrounded by luminaries like Al Pacino, Samuel L. Jackson, Mariah Carey, Usher, and Donald Glover, the environment was electric and unforgettable.

"[00:46] Saint Jhn: It was a crazy night. And then James was like, yo, come do reflex. Cause that's his favorite song of mine. So he starts performing it with me."

This first encounter left a lasting impression on Crystal, marking the beginning of her admiration for Saint Jhn's talent and character. Their conversation highlights the serendipitous nature of their meeting and how life truly brings people full circle.

Growing Up Between Cultures: Brooklyn and Guyana

Saint Jhn shares his upbringing between Brooklyn and Guyana, detailing the challenges of navigating two distinct cultures while dealing with financial hardships.

"[05:31] Saint Jhn: It was poorer and poorer. I thought we were at the bottom in Brooklyn. Cause we on food stamps."

He speaks candidly about his single mother's relentless hustle to provide for her four children, emphasizing the importance of being a few steps away from the projects to shield his siblings and himself from the surrounding trauma and drama.

Faith, Creativity, and Personal Growth

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around Saint Jhn's relationship with faith and how it intertwines with his art. Despite distancing himself from organized religion during college, he finds solace and expression through music.

"[08:43] Saint Jhn: It's almost like I'm doing mantras and I'm almost praying all the time."

He explains how his creativity serves as a form of prayer, embedding biblical and religious references organically into his music without conscious planning.

Overcoming Failures and Embracing Resilience

Saint Jhn attributes his confidence to his numerous failures and relentless perseverance over two decades in the music industry.

"[11:15] Saint Jhn: I think my first thought is probably failing. Failing so much."

He recounts the struggles of being a songwriter in service to others, learning humility, and eventually realizing the value of his authentic voice when faced with critiques that his work "sounds too much like him."

"[21:07] Saint Jhn: It sounds too much like me."

This pivotal feedback led him to embrace his unique style, ultimately propelling his career forward after years of dedication.

The Evolution of His Music and Creative Process

Saint Jhn discusses his genre-divergent approach to music, driven by an unyielding quest for freedom and authenticity.

"[14:44] Saint Jhn: Because I'm not no natural talent, I'm like, I don't care. I don't care how I come across."

He emphasizes that his music is a reflection of his truth, constantly evolving yet rooted in personal experiences and honest storytelling.

Balancing Work and Life: A Fluid Approach

When asked about work-life balance, Saint Jhn candidly admits that he doesn't maintain a strict separation between the two. Instead, work and life flow seamlessly for him, allowing creativity to strike organically.

"[24:52] Saint Jhn: I don't have a work-life balance. Work is life."

His dedication is evident as he transforms his living space into a studio, enabling him to capture inspiration whenever it arises.

Personal Life and Aspirations

In the personal segment, Saint Jhn shares his vision of an ideal partner—someone humble, bold, and a hustler who complements his drive. He also touches upon his aspirations for fatherhood, emphasizing the importance of providing a nurturing and secure environment for future children.

"[26:12] Saint Jhn: She has to be humble and bold and I'm in love with a hustler."

Looking Ahead: Upcoming Tours and Projects

Concluding the episode, Saint Jhn expresses his excitement about upcoming tours, describing them as the most honest version of himself. He highlights the vulnerability and authenticity he brings to the stage, aiming to connect deeply with his audience.

"[28:52] Saint Jhn: I'm going on tour again. I'm really excited about that."

Crystal and Saint Jhn also share light-hearted moments, discussing future collaborations and personal endeavors, further cementing the genuine rapport between them.

Key Takeaways

1. Perseverance Pays Off: Saint Jhn's 20-year journey in the music industry underscores the importance of patience, resilience, and unwavering dedication.

2. Authenticity is Crucial: Embracing one's true self, despite external critiques, can lead to profound personal and professional breakthroughs.

3. Faith as a Creative Force: For Saint Jhn, faith is not confined to organized religion but is an intrinsic part of his creative process and daily life.

4. Service and Humility: Transitioning from serving others to prioritizing his own artistic vision was a transformative step in Saint Jhn's career.

Notable Quotes

• "[11:19] Saint Jhn: I've been through so much. I feel I missed so many times. I'm proud of myself, but not proud of myself because I'm something special. I'm proud of myself because I've never given up on myself."

• "[16:04] Saint Jhn: Imagine keeping the same energy for 20 years and keeping your skin glowing for 20 years. And keeping your physique strong for 20 years."

• "[21:17] Saint Jhn: You can’t even avoid me through the thing that I'm trying to hide myself behind to be in service of somebody else's."

• "[25:30] Saint Jhn: Because I’m not rehearsing anything. I can’t be so clever that I come up with all of this storyline. My memory ain't even that good."

Conclusion

"Full Circle Moments" with Saint Jhn is a testament to the power of perseverance, authenticity, and the relentless pursuit of one's passion. Saint Jhn's candid reflections on his journey, combined with his dynamic artistry, offer listeners a profound sense of inspiration and positivity. Whether you're an aspiring artist or someone navigating personal challenges, this episode serves as a powerful reminder to keep pushing forward, stay true to oneself, and maintain a positive outlook.

Support Saint Jhn

To support Saint Jhn's ongoing journey, listeners are encouraged to download his latest album upon release and attend his upcoming tour dates. Engaging with his music and live performances is a great way to show appreciation for his authentic artistry and inspiring story.

Stay tuned to Keep It Positive, Sweetie for more empowering conversations that uplift and inspire. Remember to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who could use a dose of positivity. Keep it positive, sweeties!

Transcript

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Calling all my sweeties to the forefront, I'm your host, Chris Renee Hazlett, and this is the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. Hello, and welcome back to the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. A safe space to heal, laugh, grow, and love and keep things real with a positive twist. I'm your host, Krista Renee Hayslett, and I am so excited about today's episode. We've got incredibly talented artists in the building. He's a Grammy award winning singer, songwriter, and producer who's made waves with his bold sound and fearless storytelling. He's also making incredible waves in the fashion world. I'm talking about the one and only. None other than St. John. St. John. Thank you so much for coming.

[St. John]

Thank you for having me.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yes. We are going to break the ice with a quick game.

[St. John]

All right, Cool.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Called roses and rapid fire. All right, are you ready?

[St. John]

I'm ready.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

All right, so all you have to do is give me one word that comes to mind when I give you a word. First word is Fashion.

[St. John]

Sexy.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Home.

[St. John]

Peaceful.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Hair.

[St. John]

Luxurious.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

The bigger picture.

[St. John]

Plans.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Grammys.

[St. John]

Must.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Coachella.

[St. John]

Grandeur.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Mm. Puerto Rico.

[St. John]

Political.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Mm. Beyonce.

[St. John]

Grammys. Yeah.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Book of Clarence.

[St. John]

Family. Oh, man. I just think of James.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yes. Guyana.

[St. John]

Home.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Festival season.

[St. John]

On time.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

All right. I love it. Let's get into it. So I don't know if you remember this. 2017. It was Emmy weekend. Tyler Perry's birthday. He had a huge party in the backyard. James Samuel was on the piano. Everybody, when I say everybody named Mama. Every. I came from, like, I looked to my left. Al Pacino was sitting next to me. And then you look to your right, and it's Samuel L. Jackson saying, what up, mf? Or like, you know what I'm saying? It was like you just didn't know who you were gonna see. And then James calls this kid to the stage, and it was you.

[St. John]

Yeah.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

This was my first introduction to you. And I called Tyler last night. I said, what year was that party? And he was like, which one? And I was explaining. He's like, that was 2017.

[St. John]

That was his 50th.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

No, we hadn't made it up. He was like, 47.

[St. John]

Okay.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

It was like, an odd year, but, yeah, it was 47. And we had a time. But that was my first introduction to you, and I was an instant fan.

[St. John]

Oh, thank you.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yes. Yes. It's funny, I was telling Donna how things come full circle, and that was one of the moments. I was like, wow, I get to interview him now. But I remember the first time I was introduced to you.

[St. John]

I remember that distinctly.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Wasn't that a crazy night?

[St. John]

Yeah. Cause I was in the back somewh. Like to paint the picture of how dynamic, enormous and impactful that room was. Like, the world would shake if that room said, we're gonna all do something. The whole planet would shake.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Literally.

[St. John]

Yeah, it was powerful. It was really, really powerful. I remember Mariah Carey being at the bar over here. I remember. Cause James does this. So James would be like, look, just come, just show up and I won't know what I'm showing up for. He's like, just trust me. Just trust me. And I trust him. It's my brother. So I'm showing up and pulling up for whatever he needs.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I love it.

[St. John]

And he's like, yo, just. You gonna be all right.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

That was a pull up.

[St. John]

Yeah, that was a pull up.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

That's not the first time he's done that.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Wow.

[St. John]

That was a pull up. I remember who he passed at this point. Michael.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Oh, yes, Michael.

[St. John]

What is Michael's last name?

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

He was on the wire.

[St. John]

Yes, he was on the wire. He deserves to be.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yes, his name.

[St. John]

Celebrated his name. What was his last name?

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Scarlett.

[St. John]

Yeah, of course. He said Omar. We definitely know Omar. Chalky White from the other movie. Yes, the other show.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Why is his name.

[St. John]

But it's Michael, his first name.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

We're gonna get his name.

[St. John]

This is before he passed. I remember Michael Williams. Michael K. Williams. I remember running, running into him at the bathroom. And he was just. His energy was just turned like, with humility and peaceful and gratitude. And he was just like. I was like, man, this is Omar. Yes, Omar with the scar. He's such a nice guy.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

He's so nice.

[St. John]

Such a nice guy.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

That was really sad when I heard of his passing because having an interaction with him as well, I was like, man, when you meet people and really get to feel their energy, he was like nothing like his characters. Like, the way he portrayed was genius. Like, he came at every character in such a beautiful way. But then when you get to meet him. Such a beautiful soul. Yeah, special.

[St. John]

Special soul.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

For sure. For sure.

[St. John]

That was a really memorable night.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

It was.

[St. John]

Do you remember? I remember Kelly Rowland being in the front row. Right. I remember that. And James caught me on stage right after I closed my eyes so I could picture it. It was Usher.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I knew you could say Usher. Yes.

[St. John]

And Donald Glover, he popped up out of nowhere. They were doing a duet.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yes. Yeah. It was the craziest night.

[St. John]

It was a crazy night. And then James was like, yo, come do reflex. Cause that's his favorite song of mine. So he starts performing it with me. Yeah, it was good. It was sort of mind blowing.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

It was. Yeah. We can reminisce just on. We can reminisce on that night alone for, like, hours. It was such a good night. So let's talk about your journey going back to the beginning. You grew up between Brooklyn and Guyana. What was that like between shifting between both cultures?

[St. John]

It was poorer and poorer. I thought we were at the bottom in Brooklyn. Cause we on food stamps. My mom is working three shifts. She's a nurse's aide. She's just trying to hustle, by the way. I spent her and I spent the last couple weeks talking about the word hustle.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Really?

[St. John]

Cause she's old school. My mom is 65. So when I say hustle, and she'd heard me say it, like in an interview or something, she's like, I wasn't a prostitute. Cause she thought. Cause her only concept of hustle is prostitution. She's like, I wasn't a street walker. I said, mom, come on. You know that's not what I'm saying. But she got it. And she's like, you know what? You're right. I was a super hustler. Yeah, get into it, get into it, get into it. Before she knew what the bag was. She wasn't getting to the bag. Cause my mom has four kids.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Oh, wow.

[St. John]

So and single mom. My pops just wasn't around. He was just off doing whatever he was doing.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

So she was working as much as she possibly could. And we were super poor. We had the monopoly money. That's one of the food stamps was, you know, multicolored. And I remember thinking, you know, we're as broke as we could possibly get. We're as poor as we could possibly be. But what was really, really, really important to her, she was so astute. My mom was so sharp. She was just really clear on her vision and what she needed for her kids. We lived a block away from the projects all the time, every time. So I grew up in Brooklyn. It was always one block away from the projects. Cause for her, those centimeters and millimeters away made a magnificent difference in what she could make sure she embedded into us as children. And she's right. It would have been a tremendous difference because we got into so much trouble. There was so much trauma and drama growing up, me and my brothers, that if I was inside the box, as opposed to 10 millimeters away from the box, we probably wouldn't have been here talking to me. The world would have Never heard about me.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Wow. You talked about your mother being a preacher. Yeah, my mom was a pastor, so we were PK kids. And just like you, every time the doors of the church opened, we was in there. And I know we all, like. I went through a phase in my life where I was like, I'm not going. As soon as I got to college, I just stopped going to church. I was like, you're forced to do it your whole life. And like, Sunday school, choir practice, Bible study, the meetings, like before and after church, you're just like, oh, it's too much. The second service, it's a lot. Have you been able to, like, find your own relationship with God in your own way? Cause I feel like we are the church. It's not a building. Having to go into someone. How do you, like, carry that out in your day to day life now?

[St. John]

So I think it manifests itself in my art and my creativity and my portrayal of my creativity probably even more than in my day to day life because it's such a normal function. It's a normal function of behavior. I'll explain it a little bit better. So I make music all the time, Every day, almost. And the cathartic experience of me making music is almost like I'm doing mantras and I'm almost praying all the time. You'll always hear biblical references. You'll always hear religious references in my music. And it's not things I'm planning or scheduling or conceiving.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

It's in you. Yeah.

[St. John]

It's just happening. Right. So it's almost like I'm praying in small portions constantly. And if I didn't take stock or have enough self awareness, I'd miss it.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[St. John]

I'd miss all the songs and all the tributes that I make to God. I'd miss it all the time. But as you see, like, My name is St. John. My mom named me that. That's my birth name.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

It keeps following me.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yep.

[St. John]

It keeps. I thought I ran away.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

He's like, I'm right behind you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[St. John]

The cross is my logo.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I saw it. Yeah. Even on your post, you always put the purple emoji with the cross. Yeah.

[St. John]

It just keeps haunting me. Wouldn't be the right word. But it keeps trailing me. It's always, ever, ever present. Because I definitely ran away from the institution at church.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yes.

[St. John]

I hated that. I hated that. I hated what it tried to force upon me. I hated what it tried to teach me that I had to be. I hated how prejudicial it was. And how hell and brim fire. I hate that level of preaching. I didn't like that it wasn't inclusive in whatever your journey could be or your process could be. But in my daily regimen, my daily practice, I'm giving it up to God all the time. Even in the small ways my mom told me. She said I was telling about something I was going through recently, and she said, cool, you just got to go talk to God. She's like, you know, I don't beg God for nothing. I love your mom's accent for nothing. I just go to the father. And I said, look, father is what I need.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[St. John]

And I'm like, that's it? Yeah, mom, that's it.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah, that's it. You don't have to beg him. I mean, just like, you wouldn't have to beg your mom for something.

[St. John]

Correct.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

We don't have to beg him. I love that. I gotta meet your eyes. She seems like. She cool.

[St. John]

Yeah, she's special.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Very much. I love that. So we just finished New York Fashion Week, and one thing I will say about you. Cause I didn't. We had never officially met. Like, I think I had posted one of your songs after Tyler's party, and you sent me a little emoji, like, response or whatever. And I was like, been a fan ever since Tyler's party. Like, you were there. I'm like, yeah, but we never met in real life. And when I met you last week at Fashion Week, your energy, like, it's something like you're. First of all, you have this confidence when you enter the room. But then, like, when you're like, hi, how are you doing? Like, you're just so welcoming. It's not like that. I know I'm the shit. Like, it's like, I know who I am, but, hello, how are you? It's like, I felt that. And just watching you, like, move through the room, I was like, this guy's got it. You just have it. Where did that confidence come from?

[St. John]

I think my first thought is probably failing. Failing so much.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Wow.

[St. John]

Yeah. I've been through so much. I feel I missed so many times. I'm proud of myself, but not proud of myself because I'm something special. I'm proud of myself because I've never given up on myself. So when I walk in a room, even if it's my first time in a room, it might be my last time in a room.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Wow.

[St. John]

I might never get back in that room again. And I'm grateful to be there and I could be the guy that's holding the camera. I could be the guy that's holding the lights. I could be the guy that's moving the plants. I could be the guy in front of the camera. I could be the guy that's moving the magazines. And I'm aware of that in my life. So I'm always grateful for everybody who's there. I'm like, yo, what's up? I don't know who you are, but I'm sure you're here for a reason, So I just want to say hi.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

And I think my confidence comes from all of the things, all the experiences, all of the pitfalls, all the missteps, all of the misinformations, all of the bad nights, but still having to get up in the early mornings to figure out how to do it again.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

Like, you got to keep the same energy. You know that when people say that, it took me a long, long time to realize what that meant. It means that even when it's bad, even when it's good, when a roller coaster goes up and a roller coaster goes down, when the day is rough, when your hair ain't done, your makeup is messed up, when your shoes is muddy, when your shirt is tatted, eyelash.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Is about to come off.

[St. John]

Something has to stay standard. Something has to be the same. Keep the same energy. It's all good.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

One day you're up, next day you're down. Long as you stay the same, it'll come back around.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I love that.

[St. John]

So I kind of live by that.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah. Speaking of ups and downs, what is a moment through the failures and the ups and downs that really stood with you and was like, man, I really made it through that.

[St. John]

Sometimes it's tough for me to pinpoint. Cause they're daily, I think, you know, if your skin is clear and you walk in bold and straight, there's a presumption that you don't have to deal with pain or you're just in a peaceful place. So. And it definitely doesn't mean that I'm wrestling with shit.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

Pardon me if I'm cursing.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

No, yeah, that's fine.

[St. John]

Yeah. I'm wrestling with things on a regular basis, so I'm trying to pinpoint one of the most challenging times. Oh, man. I don't know. We might have to circle back for a second.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I don't know. That's okay. So I just. I know, like, we all have. For me, there's moments of my life where I'm like, ooh, that was, like, a Rough season. I think me moving to Atlanta was probably one of my toughest, like, depressing seasons of my life. Trying to figure everything out, starting all over again. That's like, one season. I remember I was like. That was rough for me, where I really had to lean on my faith. Cause I didn't know where the next meal was coming from. Nothing. But I just.

[St. John]

Is that one of the roughest or is that just closest in. Reference point?

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Closest in. No, that was probably one of the.

[St. John]

That was probably the roughest.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

And it felt like. It felt so long. Like, you know how sometimes you just have, like, a bad week. This felt like a bad year where I was just like, okay, now, did I make the right choice coming here? Clearly, I did. But definitely, yeah, that was definitely a season. I want to talk about your music. You have such a unique blend. I don't know. There's no genre to put you in a category. For me, when I listen to your music, I feel like you kind of touch on everything. What was the inspiration for that and what's your creative process?

[St. John]

I'm free.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I love that. Yeah, I can tell.

[St. John]

I move like I'm free. I live like I'm free. Because in truth, quietly, I'm in search of freedom.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Wow.

[St. John]

I'm trying to project the thing that.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I'm in search of.

[St. John]

In search of, like, I'm desperately grappling at something that I want to feel, that I want to be able to provide to the people around me and that I'd like to be able to give as hope for the people who are just observing me. It's the freedom that I'm chasing. A thing that I know is possible that I'm really, really, really, really, really desperately trying to hold on to. So when I go make music, because I'm not no natural talent, I'm like, I don't care. I don't care how I come across. And I'm not being humble. I'm not. This is. This is me being clear. This is clarity.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

Right. Maybe I'm special in a way that we're all special. If you sat down with anybody and got to see the inner workings of how their clock worked, you'd be like, oh, that person's magnificent. They do a thing really remarkably.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yes.

[St. John]

I don't think I'm special in any type of way. I think I'm highlighted because I found my place. But I found my place because I spent my seasons harvesting my talent. Cause I wasn't good. Wow. Because I started out just rapping, just battle rapping. Just pursuing something I was really desperately interested in and wasn't good at first, and then got good and then hit so many brick walls. I spent 20 years making music before anybody had heard my name.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Wow.

[St. John]

Like, 20 years.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

That's what we don't hear.

[St. John]

Yeah. A real 20 years. Imagine keeping the same energy for 20 years and keeping your skin glowing for 20 years. And keeping your physique strong for 20 years. And keeping your mind sharp for 20 years. And being brave and courageous for 20 years. And staying locked in for 20 years.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

It's a long. It's many, many, many summers. Most people give up on themselves long before the sun rises for them.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Literally. No. And that's why you are where you are today. A lot of people don't make it to be where you are and to live the life you live and to be free and creative because they give up.

[St. John]

Yeah.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

And when people say, man, that just happened. No, it didn't happen overnight. It was 20 years.

[St. John]

It was 20 years.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah. That's real.

[St. John]

In those 20 years, I made so many different choices. I made so many different types of styles of music. I just allowed myself to grow.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

So when you hear me and you hear my experiences musically, you're looking like the maturation of somebody who's in search of freedom. That's just living through that. I want to make sure that I represent that when you hear it. So I use my voice as an instrument. It's just an instrument. Sometimes I'm rapping, sometimes I'm singing. Sometimes it sounds a little bit like R and B, Although I don't know much about R and B. Sometimes it sounds like dance hall. Although I'm not overly intoxicated with dance hall at this present point in my life. Sometimes it's country music, because I think dancehall and country music is the same thing with a different accent.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah. Yeah. Basically, I can hear.

[St. John]

For some reason, I think I can hear the through line between when the letters A connect to the letters F. I'm just making, like, a strange comparison. I can hear how you can get from A to F. I'm like, oh, no. These things connect, and that's why these relate. And I'm constantly playing and evolving with sound and lyric and substance. So I'm honestly. You watching honest experiments.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

Right. When you hear the music. So I'm genre divergent because I'm just honestly experimenting, trying to find it.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Do you feel like you found your sound or do you feel like it's always evolving?

[St. John]

It's always evolving.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

I Found my truth. And in my. My truth is the core of my sound. Because I'm always just telling my story.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Right?

[St. John]

So no matter what it sounds like, I was giving this example. So I could be making a horror film, or I could be making an action movie, or I could be making a rom com, but I'm always believable. Cause I'm telling my truth within that story.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. That makes sense. I love that you started off doing songwriting for people, but then you stated, I was having success. But who wants to live their dreams through someone else's eyes? At what point? What was that aha moment? That. No, I need to be doing this for myself. Like, what was that shift? Or were you in the studio when you were like, wait, what am I. What am I doing? Like, when did you have that moment where you're like, I need to do this for myself?

[St. John]

There was about. There was two of them, so maybe three. So there's one time I was writing songs, and it was before I got any, like, significant placements. By placements, I mean, any progress with any landing any songs with any major artists?

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Right, right.

[St. John]

I remember I started songwriting, and it was maybe, let's say, two years into, like, really honing my craft and getting good. And I would have meetings with A&Rs or record executives. Like, by the time I finally figured out how to be useful. Songwriting, by the way, for me, was the first time in my life that I was in service of someone in service of something else. It was the first time that I came into a room and asked, what could I do for you? As opposed to asking for something that I needed. And by virtue of asking other people what I could do for them, it changed my life. It opened my world. It first of all, sat me down and humbled me. It let me know you're not as important as you think you are. Shut up. Go into the back of the room, listen, take criticism, take judgment, internalize it, recycle it, and become better, get great. It was like training camp.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

Because most. When you're an artist, you believe you're right because you believe in yourself. When you become in service of somebody else's art, you have to take criticism, critiques. You have to take judgment. You have to. You get sharper because it's someone else's lens, someone else's vision. So it's an incredible training course. So I remember going finally having relationships enough to have meetings with A and rs, and I'm having these A and R meetings and having these Management meetings, and I'm giving them my songs and playing my songs. And maybe 24 months into that. Right. Because that's just one part of it.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Right.

[St. John]

They started. Someone said, oh, this is really good. This song is really good. I was like, oh, that meant. I thought that meant something good.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

It's like. But I can't take it. I was like, you just said, it's really good. They were like, it sounds too much like you.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Oh, my God.

[St. John]

And it took me 12 months from that point to see the value in that statement. That statement changed my life.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

It sounds too much like me.

[St. John]

It sounds too much like me.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

You're like, that's.

[St. John]

It took me 12 months to go, wow. Oh. Oh, I got it.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yes.

[St. John]

Oh, I got it.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

You got it.

[St. John]

I'm not invisible.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

You hear me? You can't even avoid me through the thing that I'm trying to hide myself behind to be in service of somebody else's.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

That's powerful.

[St. John]

And that changed me. And then the first time I'd written, like, I got the usher record, and, like, I guess a year or so had passed. I think there was a time period between the usher record and closing my eyes. So I can remember correctly. The usher record ended a song that I wrote called roses, which was intended for beyonce. That was the intended target. Because I'm just songwriting at this point. I'm in my friend's. I'm in my producer, who's a friend of mine. His name is fallen. I'm in his bedroom in bushwick, and we're making these records in his bedroom. And they were like, yo, yo. Whoever the a. R was at the time was like, yo, we need records. We need ideas for b. Yeah. And I was like, okay, cool. I know what I want her to do.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Right.

[St. John]

That's what I was thinking. Like, all right, as a fan, this is where I want her to go next. This is unexplained, unexplored territory. So I wrote roses, and it was in between writing roses and writing crash for usher, and we sent roses in, and I think there was no response at first. And then there was a response like, nah, this. This isn't it. Whatever it was, I'm. I'm butchering whatever the language that came back. But I knew that I believed in the song so much that I was clear. I was like, oh, they don't hear it.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yes.

[St. John]

Oh, they don't hear it. That doesn't mean this isn't what it. What I think it is. That just means they don't Hear it.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Right.

[St. John]

There's nothing wrong with that. And if I think this is what I think it is, then it's for me. I'll go put it out.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I love that.

[St. John]

And I did that. I think it was 2016 when that conversation happened, and I put it out in 2017.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Wow. And it was phenomenal. Do you feel like that's the song that changed everything?

[St. John]

I think a bunch of things changed my life. Because if I'd have just put that song out in 2017 and sat down, nothing would have happened.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Right? Yeah.

[St. John]

I think the fact that I put this song out, went on tour when no one knew my name, when no one cared about me, and I opened. I was first of four for work, doing. I was opening for Post Malone.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Oh, wow.

[St. John]

The first of four. Look, you don't gotta be in music, you don't gotta be in art, you don't gotta be in fashion. To be the first of four for the headliner is a terrible position to be in, if you see it that way.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Right. If you see. Yes. Gotta see your perspective. Yeah.

[St. John]

I saw it as an opportunity.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Good.

[St. John]

Right. That means he comes on.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I have capacities for it.

[St. John]

Absolutely. He comes on at 9:30, doors open at 7, and I'm on at 7:10. Maybe the room at capacity is 1500 people. And by the time I start performing that, maybe there's 85 people, maybe there's 110.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

And I'm just giving everything I got because those hundred ten people are gonna know my name.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[St. John]

I just moved my feet and did the work. I just kept doing the work.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

And that is what changed my life. That's what allowed me to match the energy of a song that I knew the world should hear. So the song was before its time, and I had to catch up in energy. So the song went this way and I had to go this way. So it was waiting for me to match its energy.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I love it. I love. I just love how life works. In closing, I want to talk about a few things. We want to be nosy just a bit.

[St. John]

All right.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

We'll start off easy. First, how do you maintain your work life balance?

[St. John]

I don't have a work life balance.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Okay. You just. It's whatever. Like, work is life.

[St. John]

Yeah, Work is life. I don't.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I feel you.

[St. John]

Yeah, Yeah. I record in my living room because I don't want there to be a separation between church and state for me. When I'm done working, I want to go to bed. And when I wake up at peace, I want to go to work. I love it and I need it to be fluid.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

That's why I can tell my truth. Because I'm not rehearsing anything.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

I'm not prepping anything to get to a place. I remember when I was just getting started, the studio time was $20 an hour and I could only be in the studio for an hour and a half because I'd only saved up 30 bucks.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah, I'm.

[St. John]

I remember that guy in the back of my head. So when I finally got into a position where my home could be my studio, I'm like, I want to be able to work when an idea strikes me.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

Right. I'll wake up at 8:00 and I'll be in the studio by 8:09.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I know that's right.

[St. John]

I'll do 25 push ups and start recording. And then knock on the door to wake up my engineer like, Louie, get up, get up.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I got something, I got something.

[St. John]

It's time.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I love that, I love that. Are you in a relationship?

[St. John]

Yeah.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

You are?

[St. John]

Yeah.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Okay. He said, yeah. What is the DNA of the perfect mate for St. John? Like, how would you describe that person?

[St. John]

She has to be humble and bold and I'm in love with a hustler. I'm in love with somebody who knows how to go and get it.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

Figure it out. I like a brilliant. All I ever wanted was a brilliant. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. I'm a big fan of a triple melanin girl. Of a super chocolate woman.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Love it.

[St. John]

Yeah. Of a brown skinned queen.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I'm brown skinned girl. Is that the inspiration behind that? Yeah, I love it. Yeah, I love it. Do you want children?

[St. John]

Wow, what a big question. I'm pausing because there's so much that goes with that. It's not a simple thing. It's not like, yo, I just want children. If you want children, you're gonna have to figure out how to feed them, how to love them, how to guard them, how to provide for them mentally, how to safeguard their future, how to craft a plan for them.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yes.

[St. John]

Despite the plan you have for yourself, you're gonna have to figure out how two parallel lines work together. Even when they separate sometimes.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

That's real.

[St. John]

So, yeah, I'd love to have children, but I need to be able to give them all the things that I know that are important. Cause now I'm wiser than I've ever been when my mom had me. She ain't know no better. My mom comes from 10 and she created four.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

And all of my brothers and sisters have kids, and I'm thinking to myself, I held out the longest.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Me too.

[St. John]

I kept a good fight going. Right?

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Me too.

[St. John]

I did as much as I possibly could.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

And I want to be. It'd be a tragedy for me to leave this planet and not let someone inherit all the things that I learned intuitively. Like, stand as close to me as possible and say, yo, look, I got it for you. I know how we're going to do this. I'm going to make this better for you. I got all this love for you. All of these failures that I failed. I can teach you. But I need to be able to do it honestly and earnestly and with full energy and attention. And I can't take a break from the things that I love outside of my familial life.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[St. John]

So I have to figure out that juggle. So. I'd love to. I'd love to be in a place where I got. There's a little one. I walk in here. You're like, oh, you see him in the corner? You reading that book I gave him. That'd be cool.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

But I gotta do it the right way. It has to be done the right way, or I'm gonna produce something that was as messed up as I was and I had to figure out how to heal myself.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

Still. I am. I'm still figuring that out.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah. I love that. St. John. Thank you so much. Thank you. Is there anything else I want to know what's next that you can tell our audience how we can support you in your future endeavors. What's coming up?

[St. John]

I'm going on tour again. I'm really excited about that.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Okay. We got to. We got to go on tour. We got to hit one of those spots.

[St. John]

So I start festival season tour. Tour is my most honest version of myself. I make it a plain not to lie about who I am, what I am, and what I'm trying to do. But on tour, because it's just me and a microphone and a captive audience.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[St. John]

And I don't think I'm as creative as other people think I am. So when I'm on that stage, I can't hide from you.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

No. It's the most exposure. It's like, this is it. Yeah.

[St. John]

It's me and you. 70 something minutes. The lights are either bright or moody. I can't be so clever that I come up with all of this storyline. My memory ain't even that good. I be forgetting my lyrics so much less the. The nonsense. I Planned on saying. So I'm either gonna give. I gotta give you my truth. So whatever it is, I'm giving my truth. So touring me is the most vulnerable open, unhinged me possible. So if you really see that and you love that, then you figured out a way to love me for who I am. So I'm really excited to go back on tour.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I love it. I cannot wait to come see you.

[St. John]

You're gonna love it.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I'm so excited. You're gonna love it. Well, anyway, we will definitely support you, sweeties. Make sure you download his new album when it comes out, and we will definitely catch you on one of your tour dates. Thank you so much.

[St. John]

Thank you.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Seriously, you have been a joy. I absolutely love your energy.

[St. John]

Thank you.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Thank you so much.

[St. John]

Thank you. I love yours, too.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

This is.

[St. John]

And congrats. Seven seasons.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Thank you. Thank you.

[St. John]

It's no small feat to do anything consistently.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Wow. Yeah. Thank you. I received that. Thank you.

[St. John]

It's a miracle. For real?

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

No.

[St. John]

And it looked good and it smelled good. The hallway smelled good. You know how hard that is?

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I was like, what's going on? We done? Like. Yeah, yeah.

[St. John]

You like, Burt?

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I love it. I love it. We are coming out with actually some home candles. Oh, shameless plug. But I'll send you.

[St. John]

Oh, line me up.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

I got you. Yeah, I got you.

[St. John]

That's one of my next endeavors.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Okay, Come on. Let me do a little collab. Yeah, Yeah.

[St. John]

I love that. Is it. Well, I'm not gonna ask about this. This is probably not yours.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

No, this is one of the sandboxes.

[St. John]

This is one of the joints.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah. My dog.

[St. John]

Yeah, Yeah, I need that.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Yeah, I got you. We'll send you a big one. Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

[St. John]

Nah. Thank you for having me. Of course. This is dope.

[Krista Renee Hayslett]

Oh, my goodness, guys. My episode with St. John was more than I could have ever imagined. His energy, his spirit, his journey was so inspiring. The one thing I took from him was when he said that it was 20 years until he got his first shot. And also, he said it wasn't until he was in service of others that he really learned everything he needed to learn. So that's a note I think we can all take, is be of service to others. Wow. What an amazing conversation with St. John. I hope you're leaving inspired as I am. He's a true testament to staying authentic and working hard and trusting the journey. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the Keep It Positive, Sweetie Show. Don't forget to subscribe. Subscribe. Leave a review and share this episode with someone that can use a little positivity. Follow me on all platforms. Ovchrisrenae and you can also write into our Positive Outcomes Listener [e-mail] In the meantime, in between time, you know what to do. Keep it positive. Sweeties. Sa.