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Keri Hilson
This is an iHeart podcast.
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Chris Renee Hazlett
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Chris Renee Hazlett
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Chris Renee Hazlett
Soon after, I was in their Kohler, Wisconsin foundry watching molten iron poured enamel applied by hand, and the beautiful finished pieces ready to ship. Since 1883, Kohler cast iron has been crafted by incredible artisans, and seeing it firsthand gave me a whole new appreciation for their craftsmanship. Now I'm proud to lend my stamp of approval to my favorite Kohler cast iron products for their durability, beauty and enduring style. Shop my curated pics@kohler.com as the Kohler cast Iron Ambassador, I say long live Cast Iron, calling all my sweeties to the forefront. I'm your host, Chris Renee Hazlett, and this is the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. Welcome to Keep It Positive, Sweetie, the place where we heal, grow and learn together through honest conversations. I am so excited because today we are kicking off season 12 and this season we are centering everything around one word, purpose. Not just finding it, but trusting it. And I couldn't think of a better person to help us start that conversation. And I'm so glad to be sitting with Carrie Hilson. Today's guest is a Grammy nominated singer, songwriter, actress, and creative whose artistry has left an undeniable mark on music. From unforgettable hits like Knock youk Down, Pretty Girl Rock, and turning me on to writing songs for some of the biggest artists in the industry, she's built a career defined by talent, versatility, and authenticity. And now she's ushering in a new era with we need to Talk, her first studio album in 15 years. Released in three distinct chapters, the project invites listeners to conversations about healing, purpose, and reclaiming your voice on your own terms. Sweeties, please give a very warm welcome to the one and only Keri Hilson. Keri, thank you so much for stopping by.
Keri Hilson
Thank you.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Girl, we've been trying to get you over here for so long. I feel like we changed the date, like five times. That's how I know it's gonna be good.
Keri Hilson
Yes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
It's gonna be really, really good. I'm so excited. I met you a few years ago. We were doing a series that BMW had called Uncorked.
Keri Hilson
Exactly.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And immediately we hit it off. It was an instant connection. And I just loved your story and hearing about who you are and, like, how you got to where you were. There's a really cool event that we did and I haven't really gotten to see you much because Instagram keeps you in touch.
Keri Hilson
I feel like I see you every
Chris Renee Hazlett
time, all the time. Right. So I'm so happy to have you here. You have new music out, which we're going to talk about. But before we get into that, I want to play a little game just to break the ice.
Keri Hilson
Okay.
Chris Renee Hazlett
So your new album is called we need to Talk. So we're going to play a game called Leave a Voicemail. Okay.
Bethenny Frankel
Yes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
So I'm going to give you little scenarios or people to leave a voicemail to, and you just gonna. The first thing that comes to mind, leave a quick voicemail.
Keri Hilson
Okay.
Chris Renee Hazlett
You ready?
Keri Hilson
All right.
Chris Renee Hazlett
All right. Voicemail number one, your younger self.
Keri Hilson
Oh.
Chris Renee Hazlett
First voicemail is to little Carrie. Leave her a message.
Keri Hilson
Hey, Carrie. It's gonna be a beautiful and wild ride, but you are gonna follow that dream you have, and you're gonna be so proud of yourself. Just Hang in there.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I love that. Voicemail number two, Leave a voicemail for the version of yourself that made the decision to step away from music.
Keri Hilson
In real time or in hindsight.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Hindsight.
Keri Hilson
Okay. Carrie, I'm really proud of you for fighting for what you need to do. Follow your heart, be authentic to your needs. No one will understand. Absolutely no one. You're going to lose some people that work with you. You're going to lose some fans. You're going to. No one's going to understand. Everyone's going to question you, but only you know. So do what it is you need to do. I'll see you on the other side of this.
Chris Renee Hazlett
So good. So good. Voicemail number three. This is the last one.
Keri Hilson
Okay.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Leave a voicemail for your fans who waited all these years for new music.
Keri Hilson
Carrie Crew, thank you for sticking it out. Thank you for caring. Thank you for encouraging me along the way. You were my light in many times of darkness and doubt, and I thank you for that. I thank you for defending me. I thank you for every comment, every request, every post, every ticket you've bought, every. Every like you've tapped. Thank you. I don't take your granted, your support for granted. It means the world to me, and you are a big motivator for me. So thank you. I can. I cannot say that enough. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Carrie Crew.
Chris Renee Hazlett
That is beautiful. I love that. Carrie.
Keri Hilson
Thank you.
Chris Renee Hazlett
So good. Thank you for playing along with me.
Keri Hilson
Yeah, that was fun. I was like, oh, we gonna start off with some potential tears.
Bethenny Frankel
Here we go.
Chris Renee Hazlett
That second one.
Keri Hilson
Kind of gotta cry. Yes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
That was good. I love it. So let's get into it. We need to talk. Let me tell you something. When I'm in a relationship and I hear those two words, it don't matter. Your friendship, relationship, whatever it is, I
Keri Hilson
was like, oh, gosh, gotta brace yourself.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Ooh. I'm like, what are you talking about? What happened? Yeah.
Keri Hilson
You know what? I've only ever been the person to say it.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Really?
Keri Hilson
I've never been with a man that's like, we need to talk.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
It's never happened, so I don't know what being the receiver of it is.
Chris Renee Hazlett
What it feels like.
Keri Hilson
Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I do not know.
Chris Renee Hazlett
That is so funny.
Keri Hilson
Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
So when you came, when you landed on that as your title, I want to ask you, who was the conversation originally for? Was it for yourself, was it for your listeners, or was it for the industry?
Keri Hilson
It was all. All of the above.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Okay.
Keri Hilson
And I'm adding another one. It was for the Person I was dating.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Wow.
Keri Hilson
Yeah. Yeah. The album is about that person.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But I use that. Well, it was about multiple things about that person. It was about my own journey of love, drama, redemption.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
It's kind of like a double entendre of a story.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. You take us on a ride.
Keri Hilson
Yes, yes, yes. So it's. It's. It was just. I said it in the phone call on the album, which. Those calls are real. It's one phone call, actually.
Bethenny Frankel
Yes.
Keri Hilson
But it's real. And I say it on the phone call and that's what sparked the title. And then I was just like, oh, actually, I'm talking to my fans for the first time in a long time. I'm talking to myself. Like, I'm you literally by the time you get to the third section. Yeah. You hear me having this, like, moment of realization.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
While on that call. And I'm talking basically like, just redeeming myself.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. You know, affirming yourself. Yeah. That was real. So.
Keri Hilson
Yeah. It's to everybody.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I love that. So when did you know this is time? You said it was a bad relationship originally. You were talking to that person. When did you know it was time to make a new album and that this was the topic that you wanted to touch on?
Keri Hilson
I've been knowing it was time to make an album for some time now. It was so overdue.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
Like, I didn't intend for the break to be that long, but I did have some business to handle. Freedom was like a big thing this time around. Like, freedom, creative control. I'm not the young girl I used to be when I entered this industry.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
Yeah. So I wanted to control my own voice. I wanted to.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Present myself to the world the way that I knew that in a way that I could stand by finally.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
In a way that represents me wholly, fully, authentically.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
And in a way that I could finally feel a hundred percent proud of who I'm showing to the world. And not in a fake way.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
And not in a force way. Not in a, you know.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Exactly.
Keri Hilson
No other cooks in the kitchen.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
I felt like I deserved that. So that's what kind of made it a long process.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
It was like 15 years.
Keri Hilson
Yes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Wow. Take us through that journey. Because I remember when you hit the scene you hit, you had the heavy hitters on your songs. The every song was popping, charted. You were killing it. What made you just take a step back and say, hey, this is. I need to sit down, you know, because this is like you were on a roll yeah, yeah. And we were loving it. So when I think 15 years, I'm like, girl, I need the music.
Keri Hilson
I know. And I'm grateful a lot of people did feel that way because it still goes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Your stuff still plays today.
Keri Hilson
It does.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Like your old stuff still plays. Yeah, Like I get the reports and
Keri Hilson
I'm like, yeah, the whole while I was away, I would like, see the reports and I'm like, really? Yes, it's really cool. Because that's not a guarantee.
Chris Renee Hazlett
It's not.
Keri Hilson
That is not a guarantee. So just, you know, that would put like an extra battery in my back. But the reason for the break was both professional and personal.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Okay.
Keri Hilson
I was leaving an 11 year relationship and that was really difficult. And it was at the height of everything. It was literally pretty girl rock was like, could not. It was like, could not have been higher. Right. That and professionally I just kind of felt like, okay, I just gotta sit down, I gotta take a step back. I was kind of not myself. I was, I say on the album, I was looking in the mirror and not seeing me anymore.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
That's.
Chris Renee Hazlett
We've been there.
Keri Hilson
That's literally what it was like. I just didn't recognize myself and I needed to take a break. And I knew it was ballsy. I knew it was risky. Yes, Very, very risky.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But I also felt that I. There was no, there was not going to be a way around it.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I was just going to keep going on a downward trajectory. I could have turned to drugs. I could have gone, you know, life could have gone so many directions had I not snatched me back at the time.
Chris Renee Hazlett
So to have the wherewithal to know, like, I need to take a step back because you're young, you're hitting, you got. They say you got to strike while the iron's hot. You were striking, you know, so to be able to say, no, I need to take a moment. Because it could have led down, especially at a young age. You saw impressionable. I know you had been in the industry for a while, writing and had been your own group and you had, you had, I guess you still had experience. So you weren't new to it, even though we were.
Keri Hilson
You were new to knowing me. Exactly. And so that's what people don't understand, I think about the break is that I was in the industry since I was 14 years old. So when I took that break at what, 28 years old.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I was already in the game for almost 15 years, non stop, you know, through college, through high school, through, like literally not my first deal happened on my senior trip at 17 years old.
Bethenny Frankel
Wow.
Keri Hilson
So, you know, and I was in that group from 14 to 18 and then we did another group, you know, and throughout school. So I didn't really have, in a sense, I didn't really have the teenhood, the childhood.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
My life was early on dedicated to music and then writing. And then right then I came out and it's like, okay, yeah, I know I'm only a couple years in and no one's understanding, but I dedicated so much of my life that I knew that if I don't do this now, I'm on a path to destruction. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
No, that's real. What did you learn about yourself during that time? I feel like since you missed those teen. Those are formative years.
Keri Hilson
Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
You know, so taking that time off, what did you learn about yourself then? So much.
Keri Hilson
I learned who I am as a sister.
Commercial Announcer
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I lost a lot of time with my family. I was right. Dedicating so much of my time, you know, I was missing a lot of things. Trips and graduations and birthdays and all the important things. Deaths, funerals. I missed, you know, it was things going on. So I learned who I am as a sibling, as a daughter, as a human. I learned who I am as a young lady. I guess at the time, you know, I had to learn like what I want in relationship, what I don't want in relationship. Like, I had to experience those for sure. I haven't had that many relationships in my life, so still. But definitely then. Yeah, yeah, it was just. I learned a lot. I learned that I'm, I guess more spiritual than religious, you know.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
So much, so much. It was, it was a period truly of exploration for sure. Yeah, yeah. I went deep inside.
Chris Renee Hazlett
That's good. That's good. And sometimes you need. I feel like sometimes it's important to do that, take those steps back to really like explore who you are, find out what you like, what you don't like. Going back then what are some of your non negotiables that maybe Carrie then would have like dealt with, but now
Keri Hilson
you're like, no, a lot, actually. Okay, so they. In relationship, you mean? Yeah, in relationship. I think there was a period of time. Have you ever, I'm sure as a woman you've encountered some disloyalties?
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
Cheating? No.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Absolutely.
Keri Hilson
I just will lump it into disloyalties.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Okay.
Keri Hilson
For the sake of this conversation at this point, but I think if you talk to older women and women who have been married for A long time. And grandparents and things like that, like, they'll tell you all men do that. You just got to learn to turn a blind eye, keep the peace.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yep. Our grandmothers say that.
Keri Hilson
Yes. And so. Right. I hear, I hear the choir over there is like, but so, so when you first encounter that, that, that's kind of the feedback you're getting from women that you're consulting or with. And. Yeah, I, I tried. Like, that was literally like, me just like, oh, my God. Okay, well. But it doesn't, it doesn't feel good at all. It's betrayal. It's like, yeah, you know, let's call
Chris Renee Hazlett
it what it is.
Keri Hilson
Yes, it's betrayal. Like, but so how am I supposed to forgive that? How am I supposed to turn a blind eye? How am I supposed to be peaceful and quiet? So I just learned. Yeah, I'm not a ride or die. I, I, I'm not that, if that's what that means.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
I feel like I am in a lot of other ways.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But that's one I just refuse.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I refuse. And I think, you know, we live and we learn and definitely I tried it.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes. I think we've, I have been told the same thing. I've been told that when you got to pick your battles.
Keri Hilson
Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
So to speak, you know, and pick your poison and like, are you getting 80% of what you want out of this? And that's just one thing that I can't stomach. I'm like, I, I tried it. I, you know. No.
Keri Hilson
And, you know, I think if I were the type of woman that maybe needed financial provision.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
If you were providing that and I was in need of that, maybe I could then kind of, I guess, take that easier. Yeah, I get. Because I can understand that from that perspective. Like our grandparents and our great grandparents, they were being taken care of. So, like, what could they say? They couldn't get a house alone on a house. They couldn't, like, drive for a time. They couldn't vote. Like, they, some of them couldn't work. So I guess that depends on where you are and what region. What region and age era we're talking about. But yeah, like, we were in, we as women were in need of men for a very long time. And I think that has some trickle effect into the advice we're getting from the elders still.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. Yes.
Keri Hilson
But now we don't need financial provision. And we literally, we just need you to be good to us. We need you to be good as
Chris Renee Hazlett
a public figure and a woman who's been Successful basically all your life. Has it been hard, like, finding. Because I know I'm new to this part of my life. As far as, like, being in the public eye and the complications when it comes to dating. Has that been something that's always been a struggle for you? Being like. Because you've always had it together financially? When we speak of, like, not needing
Keri Hilson
a man for that, I. I don't know. Like, sometimes I feel like it's what attracts a man to me initially. Initially. Right. But then it becomes something that is a. The blessing turns into a curse at some point. I'm still trying to understand that because I'm like, well, I thought you. You know what I mean? I thought you. But, yeah, I got to be busy. Yeah. I'm not going to be here. And no, I'm not cooking tonight. Like, I gotta pack for my flight, you know.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
So I guess. And I am a really giving. I am a homemaking type of woman. Like, I am cooking a lot. I am cleaning. I am, you know, organ, you know, decorating and arranging the home and doing all the things, serving. Right. I love that.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But. And I don't really know what I think I've run into kind of is a sense of inadequacy for men that may not be above where I am.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I think that's when it became the curse for those guys that kind of weren't where they wanted to be in their walk or finances or career. And so I think that's when I've encountered the kind of the turmoil of a man. You know, you can kind of see and hear that spilling into our. Our conversations. Yeah. So I think it's good, but it's also, like, it feels like a curse at times.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah, it does. Have you found the balance of that?
Keri Hilson
No. What I do is like, I pretend I ain't got.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Ah.
Keri Hilson
I pretend this is what I'm doing. Like, I'm not.
Chris Renee Hazlett
That's so good.
Keri Hilson
I just act broke. I just. I'm like. I play damsel.
Bethenny Frankel
Yes.
Keri Hilson
You know, I can't go as far. I think they love a damsel, but I can't go as far as to ask a man for money. Right. I just ain't got it in me. I've never been, you know, but anything. I just act like I ain't got it. I just. That's all I got. I'm not buying. Like, if I'm starting to date someone, I'm not going out and buying my dream car. You know what I mean? I'm not. I Might hold off on moving homes. Like, upgrading my light. Like, no, I want to let him feel like he can do that for me. So I try to. I do kind of minimize who I am, what I own, what I have. You know, I don't tell them about certain things. That's all I got so far. That's all I got is like, let me just try that. Let me.
Chris Renee Hazlett
So funny you said it, because when I moved into the house I'm in now, a friend of mine's mother was like, are you really going to, like, move into that big house? You're never going to find a man, Literally, is what she told me. And I was like, well, I'm this age and, like, I'm not waiting on somebody. What if that person never comes? I'm going to get the house.
Keri Hilson
I'm going to get the car and enjoy my life. I'm supposed to just, like, not enjoy my life.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah, but you might be onto something, Carrie.
Keri Hilson
I mean, you got to act like you struggling to pay the bills or something. Like, it's got to be something to it. I'm trying to figure this out.
Chris Renee Hazlett
No, for sure. That is hilarious. So you went through that. You go through everything to come up with this album. It's like, now it's time. You knew it was time and you wrote it. We talked about you writing it in three stages. It's three parts, and you got to add another, a fourth part to it. I wanted to know, how did you come up with that? What was the whole process to getting to where we are now? Because we're bringing it back to present time. I just wanted to know how you got through that hiatus and how we got here.
Keri Hilson
Okay. Well, that phone call really informed how the album was broken down.
Chris Renee Hazlett
This is the one where you were saying. She showed me the pictures and.
Keri Hilson
Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. Love, drama, redemption was literally kind of the way that relationship went, the way my career went. So breaking it down kind of made all the sense in the world. Yeah, there were, like, literal turning points in the phone call, the same way they were turning points in my career. So I just. Yeah, that was easy to determine.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. No, for sure. Yeah.
Keri Hilson
And then how we. What was the second part? You said how we got here?
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah, like, we gave. You gave us the backstory of, like, what happened during that 15 years. I wanted to bring it back to present day. Like, how did you even even, like, decide to do a three part? Oh, yeah, I wanted to kind of get the backstory. Yeah.
Keri Hilson
So being gone so long, you know, that Your fans are waiting for.
Chris Renee Hazlett
You got to give them something.
Keri Hilson
You got to give them something.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And not just. No. Seven songs.
Keri Hilson
Yes. And exactly that. It was exactly that. I was like. I actually had more like 26 at
Chris Renee Hazlett
1.5 Chris Brown album.
Keri Hilson
Yeah, it was about to be that. It was about to be that. And before we broke it up, it was 25.
Chris Renee Hazlett
26 songs. I can imagine. Especially European Game. I already know you have records for days.
Keri Hilson
Yeah. And there are more that. That weren't gonna make this one, but are already prepared for the next couple projects. But, yeah, I just knew I wanted to give them enough. Obviously, I. I care about quality, but I also knew that I owed them quantity.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes. Yeah.
Keri Hilson
So I was like, well, let's do this. But the. The attention spans are very different. Let's break it up.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Ooh. Definitely.
Keri Hilson
Because the album already had its scenes, you know?
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But it was like, let's just release this and let them digest. First part, digest second part, digest third part. It doesn't matter. They're lopsided. Like, the first one is the longest, the second one is the next. You know, the third one's kind of short.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But that didn't matter as much as making sure that, you know, people were able to take this journey and not. Because I know with longer albums, sometimes I never get all the way through.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Like, sometimes I'm intending to and something happens or a phone call or whatever. And I never finished listening to that. So I understand that.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And it could be a great body of work. You just don't make it through.
Keri Hilson
Finish that album.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
Two years ago.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right. That's me with books. Sometimes I'd be like, same. Yeah, I gotta go back to that.
Keri Hilson
I gotta get back to that.
Chris Renee Hazlett
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Commercial Announcer
Awkward time to ask this, but hey, did you download the trail map?
Keri Hilson
Yeah, no, I don't need to.
Bethenny Frankel
I don't understand.
Commercial Announcer
You're trusting your signal out here.
Keri Hilson
I'm trusting T Mobile. They have the best network and if we end up in bumtots nowhere, well we've got T satellite for backup.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Whoa.
Commercial Announcer
I don't trust my carrier that much.
Keri Hilson
We'll just use your phone as a flashlight.
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Chris Renee Hazlett
I wanted to ask you. You're back on the road now, performing. You were at Essence Festival last year.
Keri Hilson
Yes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And you just said you had a show. What do you love more? Because you're a writer, you're a singer, but you're also a performer. You like the stage or the studio better.
Keri Hilson
I used to not answer this question.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Really?
Keri Hilson
I used to not answer it because I felt like I was betraying, like, people that buy tickets or fans or whatever by saying my. But I'm. And also, I may not have realized the full truth.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Now I know I prefer creating the music than recreating the music on stage.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Really, I do. Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I finally came to that resolve, like, in the past couple years. Like, actually, I do have an honesty, an honest answer. Yeah. I used to say I can't choose. You know, I like them both. And I do like things about performing also.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
But it's. It's Curveball City. It's sleep deprivation. It's performing at your worst often, you know.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. People don't think about that.
Keri Hilson
Yeah. Like, it's a lot of factors.
Chris Renee Hazlett
What has been, like, the hardest, like, day that you had to suck it
Keri Hilson
up and get on stage all the time? I mean, it's. I can't even point one out to you. It happens a lot of the time. You know, we're not always. Usually we're not at our best.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
And then two, there's other factors going on. It's a whole technical thing, so that you can give your best show. There's so many components to putting on a live show. Your monitors, your in ears, the paddles for the receivers for your pack. And. You know what I mean? Then your wardrobe didn't stay in your pack. Oh, right. I can't even find the button right there. Yes. I can't find the volume. I can't reach there because my outfit. I got it on my bra and my arm is barely. Yeah. But I can't hear. And then when I go to front of stage, front of house.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Oh, my God.
Keri Hilson
It's feeding back into my mic and it's making everything phase out like static.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And you gotta.
Keri Hilson
The other day, I had static the whole time on stage. My pack was giving my ears, so I had to kind of loosen this one.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I eventually had to come all the way out of that one to try to hear, but there's still static. Yeah. So I was, like, feeding off of the stage monitors, which are also too loud. So now I'm getting feedback in the mic. Like, it's just so many things that can affect.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
You know, and you're all amped before you go.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
You get on stage and you're like. It's like. Like your mood is like, oh, my God, I want to fight somebody, and I don't know who to fight.
Chris Renee Hazlett
So you, like. So we're gonna take it out on this stage.
Keri Hilson
Okay. Now you're doing the dance moves all extra hard because you're pissed.
Chris Renee Hazlett
That is hilarious. But it's so true. I had a moment when I was first starting the podcast. I was in a relationship, and I was going through a breakup, and I was crying in my closet before a guest had come. It was Eva, Eva Marcel. And I just remember, like, as soon as I got off the phone, I started crying, and then I was like, gotta suck it up, girl. You got an interview to do. And then I end up breaking down in the interview because it was just, like, one of those moments that we were having. Yeah. And that was a moment for me where I wasn't in a great space, but I had to get on camera and be like, all right, welcome to keep it positive, sweetie. Like, and I was not feeling positive or sweet.
Keri Hilson
Okay.
Chris Renee Hazlett
You know, and I think a lot of times, as women, our people, like, who look up to us don't see that, especially as people. Performers, and people have to. To put on, you know, at certain times. So I totally get it. And hats off to you.
Keri Hilson
Thank you for still doing it, you know, to do this. Like, anybody that does any level of entertainment understands what it takes behind the scenes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Understands that stuff could just not be right. Stuff could not be good in your heart, your head. And you literally have to compartmentalize, like, defragment yourself.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
And, like, put the 30 you have into that day.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
You know, or the hundred percent of the 30 capacity. You have that, right.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Exactly. Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But I remember. I remember having. I was on a European tour, and I was crying on stage while going through that 11 year breakup.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I was. I had never found myself crying during. I was crying during the song Hustler on my first.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
And I was crying during that song every. Without fail, every night. Like, oh, cried in Germany, cried in Austria, cried in Sweden, cried in Norway, cried, like, literally the whole way through.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
And it was that. That particular song, every. A certain point in that song.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Every time. Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Like, after one time, my sound guy was even crying. He's like, you choke me up every night.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Oh, my gosh.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But, yeah, I mean, this is real and this is expression.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
And then we learn, like, it's good to do it because we're, like. When we're able to, we don't let them see it, you know? It's not that they can't see.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
Or don't. It's not only that they can't or don't. It's that we wall up.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yep.
Keri Hilson
When we are most vulnerable, we kind of mask.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. For sure.
Keri Hilson
You know? And it's part of it. But also, I think when we are able to express.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Authentically, like, I'm not. I'm not okay today.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. I'm human. It shows your humanity, too.
Keri Hilson
And people, I think, gravitate. I think that's why people love you so much, because you are so, like, grounded and real, you know?
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Like, we don't ever feel like crystals. Like.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
Not a performative type.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right. No.
Keri Hilson
You're entertaining still, but it's not rooted there.
Chris Renee Hazlett
It's right.
Keri Hilson
Rooted and grounded and.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes. Yeah. Because I've learned. I learned very fast. Like, entering this space, the only thing that you can truly succeed at is being you. Eventually, it's gonna fall off. Whatever you're faking to be is gonna fall off, and they're gonna be like, ah, that's who you really are. And it could be the good or bad, you know? Yeah. So hoping that the real you is something like. No, we actually love this. Why were you trying to be something else anyway? Or. Oh, girl, pick it back. Pick the mask back up. Because. Right.
Keri Hilson
And so some people don't even get a chance to put the mask back on.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
Things go awry.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
When you're pretending like, we see it every day. We do the cancel culture. And, like, you make one wrong move, one wrong sentence.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
It could be over for you.
Chris Renee Hazlett
No. For sure.
Keri Hilson
So it is scary. I understand why people feel like I was there.
Chris Renee Hazlett
You know what I mean? Yeah.
Keri Hilson
We come in feeling like, okay, there's, I think, a subconscious fear that I'm not enough. That who I am and as I am may not be acceptable because we are trying to please masses, you know?
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
And that's a. Your people that are handling your career make you painfully aware that you have to be well liked.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
You know, And. And people want to like your music. They want to come to your show. They want to see an interview. You Know.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
So you're like, okay. Oh, God. So let me turn my dial of me down to, like, two. You know, I want to appear authentic, but I also am feeling, like, super vulnerable and.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Performing.
Chris Renee Hazlett
At what point in your career did you feel like? I know in the music industry, they try to create the artists that they want to see or that they feel is going to pop for this moment in time.
Keri Hilson
Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
At what point in your career did you feel like. Well, I don't. I'm not feeling like Carrie right now,
Keri Hilson
early on. So. There were initially. There were some songs that I felt like. I don't think this represents where I was wanting to go with this album, you know, And I definitely don't think, A, I don't think it should make the album, and B, I don't think it should be a single.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
So now I gotta shoot a video for this song. I don't even like. And I don't think represents me well. And never. I don't like the lyrics. I don't. I. This does not represent who I am. Like, there's so many. There's quite a few examples of that in my. In my particular career.
Chris Renee Hazlett
What song? I'm curious to know. Oh, gosh.
Keri Hilson
There's a few. There's a few. Energy would be one of them. I think Breaking Point would be another one. Return the favor. Let's see. Change me. Hated it.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Really hated it.
Keri Hilson
You probably even know it. It's with Akon. Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I love that song.
Keri Hilson
You do not.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I did. I did. I love that song.
Keri Hilson
Hated it. I mean, and I didn't hate Energy or Breaking Point. I didn't hate them, but I felt like they weren't. They were both first on my album. First Energy was first on my first album. Breaking Point was first single of my second album. Yeah, this is ass backwards. We have way better.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Because you knew what you had.
Keri Hilson
Yeah. I knew I had knocked you down. I knew I had pretty rock on. No boys allowed. Like, it was like, come on, y', all, man, this is ridiculous.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And did you feel like you had a voice in that moment?
Keri Hilson
Not as much, you know? Yeah, not as much. And then, of course, the way you love me and the turning me on remix, that was pointless. It was, you know.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
So I. I feel like I wore jackets that didn't fit me many times in my career. I felt like that a lot. And it wasn't until me taking a break that I felt strong enough to even reveal that.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I'm just now talking about that, really, in the song. Space.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But I did not feel strong enough to say, I haven't been showing you guys me.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Until I started doing interviews from the Valley. And that's when I felt strong enough and self assured, enough self aware. I didn't have the handlers in my picture anymore.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. So this is the freedom you're talking about. I felt free.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I felt free enough to be authentic again. And then it was like an uphill battle because people are like, well, that ain't what you said five years ago. You know what I mean?
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
It was. People don't let you live things down.
Chris Renee Hazlett
They don't.
Keri Hilson
So you don't always get the opportunity to grow and to show people, like, to keep. I just. I just. I felt like if I. If you can go with me through this vision, because I had a literal vision of this. I was walking in this vision. I won't. I won't say where I was walking to. That's beside the point. But I was literally walking. You know that period between sleep and wake.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
When you have. You literally see things. Well, I do.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
And I was like, pulling off garments of clothes. I was like, dropping. I had things in my hands and I was just dropping and I kept walking and I. Things would appear in my hands and I was just like, okay, gotta put that down. Okay. And I would take off another layer of clothing. Like, I had all these layers of clothes and, like hat and things in my hands that would just appear. And I just. It was like walking down a road and just shedding. And I had that vision about. I think it was like 20, 21 maybe. I was like, oh, that's what I've been doing. It struck me. I woke up in tears and I didn't understand why until I reflected on that vision. And I just was like, oh, that's what I've been doing. Doing. That's what I've been doing. And all these things that I didn't know that I was carrying, they would just appear in my hand and I'd be like, don't want that, don't want that. Don't need this. Don't know. Don't even know why I'm dropping it or why it's there or what it is. But I. Some was given to me. Some was, like, imposed upon me.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Some things were perceptions that I inherited from people. Chatter.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Comments and posts and all the things, you know.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. Social media was kind of just taking off as your career was exploding because you were out of this world. But I remember, like, Twitter Just came. Facebook was around, but like Twitter was coming around at that time, so people were. That's when people. We started tweeting our thoughts.
Keri Hilson
Yes, yes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Opinions and opinions. Right. I remember that. So I can imagine for you to be at the front end of that. I know what it was like for me. We were just, Me and Ashanna were just talking about. She's like, how do you like get through like what people say online sometimes? And like, does it hurt your feelings? I'm like, absolutely. You know, there's still times where I may see something, but I'm able to like brush it off faster than I used to be. I would sit in it and I was like, but you don't. They don't know me. And I feel like I need to respond. So I can imagine what that was like for you then. Really, like trying to navigate this new career and then being at the pinnacle of people speaking their mind. Yeah, yeah.
Keri Hilson
And I was last, for some reason I was at a, in an interview with Angie Martinez who was like, you need a Twitter. I was like, I didn't really know what it was, but I wasn't really a social media person like that because there was MySpace and there was. I had never. I still haven't ever been on Facebook. I have a page.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Wow.
Keri Hilson
Continue to follow that, please. But I did MySpace and I was into it, you know. Yeah, to a degree. But I was like, oh, there's more things to do now. Like, yeah, oh, gosh, I'm trying to write. I'm in this session right now. I gotta, you know, So I kind of became anti in like a year or two into it. She was like, you still don't have a Twitter page? And I'm like, no. God.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And I was late to the party on all those, like late years.
Keri Hilson
Late to Instagram. Yes, same. Yeah, all of it.
Chris Renee Hazlett
We're not followers. It takes a while. Yes.
Keri Hilson
I'm like, oh, you got to force me. You have to twist my arm. And that's exactly, exactly how it happened.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
And had she not said it on air, I never, I probably would have done. Yeah, eventually I wouldn't have done it. Yeah, eventually I would have had to give in because it became such a huge part of promotion.
Chris Renee Hazlett
It did, it has.
Keri Hilson
But yeah, it was such a double edged sword because you're right, the opinions, they, they, they do, they can and they do. And you just get easier the more, I guess, self aware and the more love you have for yourself, I think the absolute. That is.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
You're like, oh, that's not rooted in fact.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Exactly.
Keri Hilson
Literally how you're perceiving me. And you might feel bad. I feel empathy for people that still perceive me wrong.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And that's how it is now. Exactly.
Keri Hilson
That you see me that way.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Poor girl. You know, I mean, I was like, oh, poor thing, poor thing. You're suffering.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. I'm not. Right. You know, that's real. Yeah. And I love that we've. It comes with the self awareness. For me it was therapy. It was learning who I am and understanding who I am in this industry, you know, and what my purpose is here.
Keri Hilson
Yes, yes. And by. Let me clear this up. By suffering, I didn't mean you're suffering in life.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Oh, yeah.
Keri Hilson
Your opinion of me is causing you to suffer.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
A perception of me. And you're suffering with that. But I don't suffer with that because I know the. I know the truth.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
Of the whole picture. Yeah. I don't want people to think that I'm like calling anyone lowly or that I believe that I'm superior to anyone because I really don't play that game.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. No.
Keri Hilson
Saying really?
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. No, And I didn't, I didn't even take it that way.
Keri Hilson
Yeah. But I thought about it. Someone might take that the wrong way. Even though that is true too. Yeah, that is true too. People are suffering and they are sometimes just mean hearted. Sometimes they don't believe what they perceive of you.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
They don't believe it, but they want to. They want to attack you. They want to make you feel the pain they're feeling.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. That is so true. That is so true. I want to ask you, is there a version of Kerry Hilson that is sitting here today that simply would not exist if you had not stepped away?
Keri Hilson
Yeah, the whole version.
Chris Renee Hazlett
What? I'm looking at you like.
Keri Hilson
Yeah. The whole thing.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I don't know where I'd be. I just, I, I just, I'm so grateful that I was so ballsy to do what I needed to do. I can't, I cannot imagine where I'd be had I
Bethenny Frankel
pushed
Keri Hilson
through to the degree that it would have taken me to push through. I think it would. I literally would have been a train wreck that everyone would have watched, you know.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Wow.
Keri Hilson
Even more than people think my life went in that direction. People think that I know the truth.
Chris Renee Hazlett
You would go, yeah.
Keri Hilson
I call it the Valley because in some ways it was.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But it wasn't the Valley the whole time, Right?
Chris Renee Hazlett
Exactly.
Keri Hilson
But when you're not relevant, people think that you.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Are There. And I'm like, actually, I am the most beautiful version of myself now than I was when you guys thought that I was on the top, so.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Wow.
Keri Hilson
Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I just had Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms on recently, and she said, powerful women. What was it? Powerful women. No. Strong women push through. Powerful women know when to stop.
Keri Hilson
Oh, yes.
Bethenny Frankel
Yes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And that was so profound. And what you just said reminded me of that. Yes.
Keri Hilson
So true.
Chris Renee Hazlett
There's so much power in the stop.
Keri Hilson
It's the yes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
And you don't. You won't do it if you don't empower yourself. You never do or be or give yourself what you truly need if you don't feel powerful enough.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
You know, because I was like, I don't know where my money's gonna come from. I don't know. I mean, thank God for royalties.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Thank God for.
Keri Hilson
You know.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But, like.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And you were okay with it. With. That was. During that time, was there ever a moment of, do I need. Maybe I should get back to it? Because, you know, you. You're used to a certain lifestyle. You used to think, money coming in, show money, all this. And then you're, like, taking this. This pause. Was there a moment where you were like, okay, maybe I need to rethink this?
Keri Hilson
Yeah. Yeah. If I'm being honest.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I was like, I would have to call my manager. Like, hey, let's go. We call it shaking the trees. Go shake some trees. It's getting a little funny out here. You know, there were moments where I was just. But I never felt like I was changing my lifestyle. Like, I never. I'm responsible enough to have never reached that kind of bridge.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Or fork in the road. You know, I'm pretty frugal. I'm economical. I'm not like, you know, I'm not a shopper. Like, you ain't never. Ain't nobody ever seen me in the stores in Atlanta. You know what I mean?
Chris Renee Hazlett
I'm never.
Keri Hilson
I'm hardly ever there. She knows I. I might do it Christmas time. Might do it Christmas time.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But that's going to be for one day. Like, for one item. Like, okay, I really can't order. Whatever.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But, like, I'm not frivolous. I'm not. I live within my means at all times. So I didn't. Thank God, like, I didn't ever feel like I had to do things to, like, try to.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Prove to myself or prove to others that I still have, like, I in my circle. Ain't like that.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. Yeah.
Keri Hilson
People that are Watching me understand who I am.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes. So that's.
Keri Hilson
Yeah, I think I've. I've been. But there have been times where I'm looking at the records and, you know, just overlooking. Just like I'd like to. I like more numbers in that. I like more numbers in my account than that, you know.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah, whatever.
Keri Hilson
Yeah.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I love that. But you. The right time, the timing, you now. You back. Do your thing. Yeah, I love that. Now, were you still, like, writing during that time for other people or.
Keri Hilson
Not really.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Just kind of left music alone altogether. Yeah. Wow.
Keri Hilson
There was a. There was a period of that 15 years where I just didn't even want to hear music. I didn't even. Literally. My life was silent for years.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And I know a lot of singers. Even when you sat down, you were humming, like. So I can't imagine your world without music.
Keri Hilson
Not even humming. Not singing in the shower? No music in the car. No. Literally, the only music I would hear was music on the plane.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
On Delta, you know, before you take off.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
That it would be music in a grocery store or wherever. Whatever. Wherever I happen to be. An elevator or something like hotel. I literally radio. I was not aware of who was out, who was doing what, what songs were charting. We. I did. I still don't look at the charts, but I just was completely. I fell out of love. I felt like music betrayed me in a sense. In a sense, yeah. You know, so. Yeah, I just couldn't.
Chris Renee Hazlett
What built the trust back? You felt betrayed? What. What built that trust back for you to make your return?
Keri Hilson
That's a really. That's a good question, I think. Just time, I guess. Just time. And getting out of that depression, like, seeing the world the way that I was seeing it during the dark phase played a big part in how I viewed everything, how I viewed music, how, you know, like, it was kind of. It was like when I listened to music, my heart would break. It was like looking at a picture of a loved one that you lost.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right. Wow.
Keri Hilson
It was like that. It was like looking at a picture. My mother died. My mother did not die. Let me knock on wood. We don't want that. My dad did die, but it was
Chris Renee Hazlett
like you went through, like, a threat. Yeah.
Keri Hilson
It's like a fresh wound that you are. Like, that's what listening to music was for me. Even though I decided to step away just as fate would have it. Like, I just. I didn't expect for it to not be a Lego thing that I could, like, put back together. I didn't expect that it would implode the way that it did.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
That I would lose major players, that I would lose my situation, my, my, my record deal.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
That now that turned out best case scenario for me, thank God. But like to lose people that I felt like, believed in me.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
You know, so for me, all because I'm doing something, I'm just taking a break. I didn't say I was gone forever. I just was taking a break. And now you want to. But it wasn't all about that. There was other things that I would not, should not reveal here today.
Chris Renee Hazlett
But,
Keri Hilson
you know, a lot went into that. But yeah, I just, I felt, in a sense, I felt like my dream betrayed me. Yeah, in a sense. So I think you just have to sometimes change your outlook and then like things become more comfortable. Things, you process things better when you're.
Chris Renee Hazlett
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Keri Hilson
Yeah. No, I don't need to.
Commercial Announcer
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Keri Hilson
I'm trusting T Mobile. They have the best network. And if we end up in bumtots nowhere, well, we've got T satellite for backup.
Commercial Announcer
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Keri Hilson
We'll just use your phone as a flashlight.
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Bethenny Frankel
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Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes, yes. Speaking of depression and being well, did you do therapy? What was your process to really work through that?
Keri Hilson
Yeah, it was a lot. It was therapy, it was spiritual retreats, it was journaling, it was taking. Why I discovered taking walks and and I discovered meditation. I only said yes. I called it my Selah or my Eat Pray, Love phase.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Oh nice.
Keri Hilson
Because I would literally crystal. I would only take shows in the countries that I wanted to go to. It's like oh yeah, Thailand, sure. Oh, I've never seen China. Let's do China.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Wow.
Keri Hilson
Oh Morocco. Yeah, let's go.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Let's.
Keri Hilson
You know all the countries I went to in Africa, most happened. That's not true. But A lot happened. We continued to go to Africa because I'm like, I went a lot while I was out. Okay.
Bethenny Frankel
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Anyway. Yeah, I only went to places like, yes. I want to see Kenya. Yep. I want to do a safari there. Yep. You know, there was so. You know, so all of that, like, I can't really attribute it to one thing. Yeah. My healing was so fast. And mushrooms, which I talked about on another show. Angie Martinez show.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I think I remember seeing a clip of that.
Keri Hilson
Yes. Yeah. I discovered macro and micro dosing.
Bethenny Frankel
Seeing.
Keri Hilson
And that was really good for me. And I had some destructive things, too. Like during Coven, when I did lose my dad.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
I picked up drinking and was just doing some destructive things in that phase. And partying a lot. Well, that was before that. That was maybe around 2016. I was partying a lot.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Cause I was partying too. And I remember seeing you as. Okay, me too, girl.
Bethenny Frankel
Okay.
Keri Hilson
Like, hey, Crystal, see you next week.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Same place, same time.
Keri Hilson
It was literally.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes, I remember. Yes, I remember that.
Bethenny Frankel
Yes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And then I remember you posting your dad was like your twin. Like, I remember y'. All. I just remember you posting something about him. I was like, gosh, they have the same face. But I remember feeling the heartbreak even through your post about him. Yeah. And then we're already going through so much with COVID And then on top
Keri Hilson
of that and all the things. Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
What a time, man.
Keri Hilson
I drank, covet away.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I would wait. I ate it away.
Keri Hilson
Poor drinks. I was like, oh, I think this is alcoholism. Let me pull this back. This is alcoholism. I gained all that weight.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Like, that was me eating things.
Keri Hilson
Yeah, Eating things. I hadn't eaten since I was a kid. Like, you are not hungry? It's five o' clock in the morning. I am. Why am I cooking?
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right? Oh, yeah.
Keri Hilson
What is happening?
Chris Renee Hazlett
Cooking with Chris was in full effect. I was trying all types of recipes in sweatpants. And then I had to get dress. I said, none of.
Keri Hilson
None of it.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Nothing is fitting. Oh, girl. A mess.
Keri Hilson
I picked up my leggings. My love for leggings happened in Covid.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Me too.
Keri Hilson
Now I just can't stop.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah, right. I want nothing that's too tight. Yeah. I can't stand it now we are the same. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I can't do it. That's right. But I love Carrie, how you have come out on the other side when I see you when you walked in, just. I'm talking about glowing. I love. Because people, they. They see the. The absence, but they don't see what the refining that happened in the absence. I see it, you know, and I'm just. I want to say I'm proud of you. I'm glad that you are back, honey, because we were waiting. We were waiting. True story.
Keri Hilson
Okay.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I moved to Atlanta in 2009 and I had cut my hair short and I had like the blonde piece and they were like, oh, she trying to be like, Carrie, you was my inspiration, girl.
Keri Hilson
Okay.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes. I love, love, loved and love you, but I was a huge fan of yours and just to be able to share a space with you and sit down with you and hear more about your story.
Keri Hilson
Finally.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes, finally. I'm so grateful. And I would love to know. Our theme for this season is purpose. And I want to know, after your 15 year hiatus, what is Kerri Hilson's purpose now?
Keri Hilson
I think my purpose now is what it always was. But we derail ourselves at times or we, you know, or life, you know, circumstances, whatever. But I think my purpose is what it always has been, and that's to express. I think it's as simple as that. Express, be authentic. My purpose is to show people, I guess, what's possible.
Chris Renee Hazlett
And
Keri Hilson
I feel a sense of responsibility to young women to be respectable, to dress a certain way, and to show them that there's not just one way of doing things, you know?
Chris Renee Hazlett
I love it. Yeah.
Keri Hilson
To be eloquent and to be just authentic and be good. Just to be good, be great, be good, be at peace. Like, I feel a sense of purpose when I'm like, just being my best.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I love that. So we have part four coming out soon. How long do you have to wait?
Keri Hilson
No, there's no. No, there's no part four.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Okay. So you're just gonna. It'll be just more music. No, no.
Keri Hilson
What you mean everything is released? Everything that is going to be released for this project.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Okay.
Keri Hilson
Is out.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah. Okay. We're out.
Keri Hilson
Okay.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Is there anything else that we can support you because you're also an actor? Do you have anything else going on?
Keri Hilson
I haven't been doing that lately. No. I've been promoting. I've been on the road.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Okay.
Keri Hilson
I do. I'm not opposed to it. I love acting.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes. And you're great at it.
Keri Hilson
Fun. Thank you.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Likewise. Thank you. Yes.
Keri Hilson
I. Yeah, for some reason, in the past year or two, there haven't been a lot of project. I haven't been part of a lot.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I just had this conversation.
Keri Hilson
Aren't that many projects happening.
Chris Renee Hazlett
It's not. Yeah. I just was like, where are the Auditions.
Keri Hilson
Yeah.
Chris Renee Hazlett
I haven't literally just had a conversation.
Keri Hilson
I don't know if I auditioned at all this year.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yeah.
Keri Hilson
But yeah, I mean, I look forward to it. I enjoy it. It's fun. It's fun. I like being a student.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
That's what acting is for me. It's like, okay, for sure. I have my bearing. I'm very sure of myself and my decision making in music.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Right.
Keri Hilson
I love being in arenas where I'm a student.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Yes.
Keri Hilson
That is what acting is for me. So I love it for that reason.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Well, we look forward to what is to come and however we can support you, we will. Thank you. You have a fan. And the Sweeties, we love you.
Keri Hilson
Yes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Thank you so much, Carrie. Thank you for having me. Absolutely.
Commercial Announcer
Yes.
Chris Renee Hazlett
Carrie, thank you so much for spending time with us. This conversation was truly special. And Sweeties, if you enjoyed today's episode, make sure you like, subscribe, subscribe and share it with someone that you love because you never know who might need this conversation. And before you go, I am so excited to welcome you all to the Sweeties Social club. If you've been rocking with us and you want to be even more connected with the kids family, this is for you members, you get access to exclusive events, special experiences, merch drops and so much more. Click the link in my bio to join. We cannot wait to welcome until next time. And in between time, keep it positive, sweetie. I love you guys. Back to school is here. And Target has everything families need to help head into the school year feeling confident and ready to do their thing. From school supplies and stylish apparel to accessories kids actually want. Target makes it easy to check every box on your list at a great value. We're talking backpacks. Starting at just $5 and up to 60% off school suppl, kids can express their style with brands and collabs they love. Like Love shack, fancy cat and jack. Overtime and customizable owalla bottles with stickers, charms and much more. The prices parents want and the brands kids love all in one place at Target.
Keri Hilson
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Bethenny Frankel
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Keri Hilson
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Chris Renee Hazlett
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Bethenny Frankel
What?
Commercial Announcer
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Keri Hilson
little drama, plus a whole new world
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Chris Renee Hazlett
series like the Shy. Just make sure we protect each other.
Commercial Announcer
And live sports like ufc. Welcome to the history books. New home, same family. Your BET favorites are now on Paramount.
Keri Hilson
Subscribe now. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.
Podcast Summary: Keep it Positive, Sweetie – "Growth, Grace & Starting Again" Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett | Guest: Keri Hilson Episode Release Date: July 5, 2026
In this uplifting season premiere, Crystal Renee Hayslett sits down with Grammy-nominated singer, songwriter, and actress Keri Hilson to dissect the themes of growth, grace, and starting anew. The conversation dives deep into Keri’s 15-year hiatus from music, the search for personal authenticity, how purpose evolves with time, and the very real challenges of healing in the spotlight. With humor and vulnerability, both host and guest explore what it means to reclaim your voice, honor your own journey, and keep it positive—even in the messy, in-between moments.
[05:00–07:05]
[07:49–09:04]
[09:06–13:50]
[13:50–15:08]
[15:23–18:21]
[18:21–21:57]
[22:25–24:49]
[28:16–30:39]
[31:00–34:50]
[35:36–39:00]
[40:16–43:08]
[44:11–45:11]
[45:46–47:41]
[47:53–49:49]
[54:34–57:41]
[58:39–59:59]
On pausing at her peak:
“I dedicated so much of my life that I knew that if I don’t do this now, I’m on a path to destruction.” — Keri Hilson [13:50]
On growing into her own authenticity:
"I'm not a ride or die… I refuse. …We live and we learn and—definitely—I tried it." — Keri Hilson [16:55]
On business and self-worth:
"Freedom was like a big thing this time around. Like, freedom, creative control… I wanted to control my own voice." — Keri Hilson [09:27]
On the costs of success as a woman:
“I am a homemaking type of woman… but inadequacy… for men that may not be above where I am… that’s when it becomes a curse.” — Keri Hilson [19:44]
On expressing vulnerability:
"But when we are able to express authentically, like, I'm not okay today… People, I think, gravitate." — Keri Hilson [33:38]
On purpose and impact:
“My purpose is what it always has been, and that's to express… to show people what's possible.” — Keri Hilson [58:55]
True to the essence of Keep It Positive, Sweetie, this episode is candid, empathetic, often humorous, and deeply inspirational. Both host and guest meet vulnerability with strength and emphasize the beauty of personal growth, authenticity, and faith through the highs and lows of public life.
Keri Hilson’s journey is a testament to the necessity—and courage—of stopping, reflecting, and embracing reinvention with grace. This episode offers encouragement to anyone facing turning points: Trust your timing, honor your true self, and remember, healing and growth take courage…but always keep it positive, sweetie.