Podcast Summary: Growth, Grief and the Courage to Heal w/ Dr. King Jay Barnett

Podcast: Keep it Positive, Sweetie
Host: Crystal Renee Hazlett
Guest: Dr. King J. Barnett
Date: November 30, 2025

Overview

This episode of "Keep it Positive, Sweetie" welcomes Dr. King Jay Barnett, a licensed therapist and public mental health advocate who transitioned from professional athlete to nationally recognized speaker and healer. Host Crystal Renee Hazlett and Dr. Barnett explore profound topics of personal growth, grief, and healing, especially within the Black community, unpacking the courage it takes to confront trauma, seek help, and walk in purpose. They discuss stigmas around therapy, faith’s role in healing, vulnerability in relationships, and the unique burdens of leadership and calling. The conversation is raw, deeply personal, faith-rooted, and uplifting.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Journey to Healing (03:53 – 12:38)

• Dr. Barnett’s Breaking Point: He shares the turning point after his second suicide attempt and being found by his godmother, which pushed him into therapy.
  • “I was living with my godmother at the time…my second suicide attempt is what really sort of, kind of, you know, pushed me to go in therapy.” (05:38)
• Role of Football as an Escape: Dr. Barnett reveals how football served as an emotional mask and outlet for unprocessed childhood pain.
  • “The thing about football, man, you can put that helmet on and it's a mask...Football was my outlet.” (08:27)
• Trigger Moments & Family Dynamics: He recounts a pivotal phone call with his parents where a dismissive comment from his father during his depression triggered his suicide attempt.
• Impact of Parental Divorce & Unprocessed Trauma: Years of pain from his parents’ divorce and family pressure compounded into adult mental health struggles.

2. Breaking Stigma & Accepting Therapy (12:38 – 15:58)

• Stigma in the Black Community: Dr. Barnett discusses the strong stigmatization of therapy among Black families, contrasting the support from his white godmother with his mother’s skepticism.
  • “You going there telling that white man all our business.” – Dr. Barnett relays his mother’s reaction to therapy (13:09)
• First Sessions & Realizations: He describes feeling unseen, as no one had ever asked him how he felt—not just how he was doing.
  • “I'm 31 years old, and nobody had never...asked me how I'm feeling.” (12:12)
• Initial Resistance, Slow Opening: He likens his hesitance to Antoine Fisher’s therapy journey, and notes the importance of having the patience to open up.

3. The Honest Work of Therapy & Growth (15:58 – 24:17)

• Honesty as the Catalyst: Both guests recognize that true healing in therapy begins when you allow honesty and vulnerability.
  • “My parents’ divorce really hurt me.” – Dr. Barnett on a foundational truth he shared in therapy (16:44)
• Roles Forced Upon Kids: Dr. Barnett reflects on the "parentification" after divorce: becoming a surrogate husband to his mother and a father figure to his siblings because of spiritual gifts recognized young (first sermon at 9, preacher by 11).

4. Relationship Dynamics & Being “Equally Yoked” (20:15 – 24:17 and 27:44 – 36:28)

• Depth, Insight, and Challenge of Partnership: Dr. Barnett and Crystal explore the difficulty of forming intimate relationships as spiritually and emotionally attuned people.
  • “I can’t yoke up with just anybody...it requires so much.” (21:36)
• Miscarriage, Male Grief, and Silence: Barnett shares the pain and silence around miscarriage from a man’s perspective and how it drove him back into therapy.
  • “As a man...I felt like this was my time... but we don’t talk about miscarriage when it comes to men.” (23:10)
• Vulnerability and Spiritual Compatibility: Both share stories of needing a partner who can match them spiritually, emotionally, and in leadership; not wanting to carry the whole load alone.
  • “I’m tired of leading men...I want someone I can trust to lead the household and...who can lead me to God.” – Crystal (27:44)
• The Man’s Role in Spiritual Leadership: Dr. Barnett emphasizes the importance of men being able to “get a prayer through,” be protectors, providers (beyond financially), and spiritual promotors.
  • “If you can’t get to God, if you can’t get a prayer through, if you can’t be vulnerable enough to break that stratosphere spiritually, you’re doing your wife...a disservice.” (31:20)

5. The Burden & Joy of Calling (36:28 – 41:32)

• Loneliness vs. Aloneness: Dr. Barnett explains professional loneliness despite public impact and the need for new therapists as seasons change.
  • “I’m lonely. I know I’m not alone, but I’m lonely.” (37:14)
• Letting Go & Obedience to Intuition: Crystal describes learning to listen to God’s intuition and not overextend relationships or ignore gut signals.
  • “God said...how many times have you prayed, God give me a sign, and you ignored it?” (37:43)
• Public Platforms & Auditing Lives: They discuss the scrutiny that comes with public ministry, echoing Bishop T.D. Jakes’ warning about “the bigger the audience, the bigger the audit.”
  • “The window of error...everybody got all these opinions...opinions cannibalize the truth.” – Dr. Barnett (40:09)

6. Faith, Spiritual Gifts, and the Prophetic Journey (44:26 – 49:50)

• Trusting Spiritual Gifts: They openly discuss their prophetic and spiritual gifts and the challenge of trusting what they “see” in the spirit for themselves.
  • “We can see for everybody but ourselves.” (45:41)
• Obedience and Waiting: The guests talk about seeking God’s direction before making any moves, both in relationships and business.

7. Vulnerability in Prayer & Surrender (53:27 – 59:19)

• Honest Conversations with God: Dr. Barnett describes praying with anger and surrender, and shares his transformative experience of feeling God’s palpable presence post-attempt.
  • “I was honest with God because I really wanted to die...And I was upset at him because I was not dead.” (53:27)
• Surrender is Daily: He stresses surrender isn’t a one-time act but a daily process, especially with trauma.
  • “Because giving it to him is a daily walk. I have to release it daily.” (55:54)
• The Power of Stillness: Importance of stillness, silence, and solitude for hearing from God.
  • “God is a friend to silence, stillness and solitude.” – Quoting Mother Teresa (59:50)

8. The Unfolding Assignment & Impact (61:14 – 69:20)

• Surprised by Destiny: Both guests marvel at being led into greater impact than they ever envisioned or asked for.
  • “You couldn’t have never told me that I would be a therapist...would be this voice, be a reflection of healing in real time.” – Dr. Barnett (61:46)
• Ministry Beyond the Pulpit: Dr. Barnett and Crystal believe their platforms—podcasts, acting, curating spaces—are forms of real ministry, helping change how people think (repentance as “metanoia”).
• Stewarding the Call: They honestly share the responsibility—and occasional burden—of public impact, vigilance against mishandling people, and the humility of knowing “we didn’t ask for this.”
  • “I don’t want to mishandle the gift. I don’t want to mishandle the call. And I don’t want to mishandle people.” (67:37)

9. Sustaining Joy, Energy, and Boundaries (69:20 – end)

• The Need for Solitude: Both discuss their introversion, the demands of people “pulling on them,” and home as a sanctuary.
  • “Home is like my recharging station, like for real.” – Crystal (69:42)
• Stewarding the “Anointing”: The reality of spiritual attraction (people drawn to their light/anointing) and the necessity of boundaries—“the anointing draws everyone, right, wrong, red, blue.” (71:50)
• Family Support & Legacy: Dr. Barnett thanks his mother for daily, early-morning intercession, and recognizes the changes in his social circles as his calling grew.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Hitting Rock Bottom:
  “My second suicide attempt is what really pushed me to go in therapy.” – Dr. King J. Barnett (05:38)

• On the Mask of Athletics:
  “The thing about football, man, you can put that helmet on and it's a mask...Football was my outlet.” – Dr. King J. Barnett (08:27)

• On Stigma in Black Families:
  “You going there telling that white man all our business.” – Dr. Barnett’s mother (13:09)

• On the Power of Vulnerability in Therapy:
  “Nobody had ever asked me how I’m feeling.” – Dr. King J. Barnett (12:12)

• On Men & Pain:
  “If pain becomes a driver in your life, you're going to become one of two things. Homicidal or suicidal.” – Dr. King J. Barnett (15:35)

• On Spiritual Compatibility:
  “If you can’t get to God, if you can’t get a prayer through, you’re doing your wife...a disservice.” – Dr. King J. Barnett (31:20)

• On Therapy Matching Seasons:
  “You shouldn’t always have the same therapist because your season would change.” – Dr. King J. Barnett (36:47)

• On Intuition & Divine Checks:
  “How many times have you prayed, God, give me a sign, and you ignored it?” – God to Crystal (37:43)

• On Surrender:
  “Because giving it to him is a daily walk. I have to release it daily.” – Dr. King J. Barnett (55:54)

• On Faith and Not Asking for the Platform:
  “Folks be mad at what we have been given. We didn’t ask for this.” – Dr. King J. Barnett (68:53)

• On Ministry Beyond Four Walls:
  “Ministry is meeting people where they are. This is ministry.” – Dr. King J. Barnett (65:27)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:53 | Dr. Barnett’s introduction and journey to therapy
• 05:38 | Describing his lowest moment and beginning the healing process
• 12:12 | The power of being asked, ‘How are you feeling?’
• 13:09 | The African-American family’s view of therapy
• 16:44 | Admitting pain from parental divorce in therapy
• 20:15 | The challenge of relationships for deep, spiritually gifted people
• 23:09 | Grieving miscarriage as a man
• 27:44 | Crystal on spiritual compatibility and refusing to always lead
• 31:20 | Barnett on the man’s role as leader: prophet, priest, protector, provider, promoter
• 36:28 | Needing new therapists for new seasons; professional loneliness
• 37:43 | Crystal on listening to God’s intuition/gut before it’s too late
• 40:09 | Public platforms, scrutiny, and “the bigger the audience, the bigger the audit”
• 45:41 | Prophetic gifts; asking God to “send someone to see for you”
• 53:27 | Honest, sometimes angry prayer; Encountering God post-suicide attempt
• 55:54 | Surrender as a daily process
• 59:50 | The value of stillness (Mother Teresa)
• 65:27 | Redefining ministry as meeting people where they are
• 67:37 | The responsibility of not mishandling people or gifts
• 69:42 | Home as a sanctuary and discussion of boundaries

Tone and Language

The tone is honest, deeply spiritual, occasionally confrontational but always loving, with rootedness in Christian faith and African-American experience. Both Crystal and Dr. Barnett use humor, real talk, and gentle challenge, creating an uplifting and vulnerable space.

Conclusion

This episode is a genuine, deeply moving conversation about the real paths to healing, the courage to be vulnerable, and the slow, sometimes lonely road to growth especially for those called to lead and carry others. It’s a must-listen for anyone navigating trauma, faith, purpose, or the nuanced journey of emotional and spiritual self-work.