Growth Grief and The Courage to Heal w/ King Jay Barnett Part 2.

Summary

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Keep It Positive, Sweetie

Episode: Growth Grief and The Courage to Heal w/ King Jay Barnett Part 2
Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett
Guest: Dr. King J. Barnett
Date: December 7, 2025

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Overview

This powerful episode features a heartfelt conversation between Crystal Renee Hayslett and Dr. King J. Barnett on themes of growth, grief, healing, self-sacrifice, faith, and mental health—especially in the Black community and among men. The pair discuss letting go of relationships that can’t come with you as you level up, the courage needed for inner transformation, balancing ambition with self-preservation, and how spiritual grounding shapes their careers and purpose. They also share honest stories about personal struggles, the importance of surrounding oneself with the right support, and the spiritual weight of their callings.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Growth, Grief & Letting Go

• "Everybody can't go."
  • As you elevate, not everyone from your past can journey with you. Dr. Barnett reflects on how purpose sometimes creates distance from old friends and the grief that can come with that change.
  • Quote:

    “The purpose creates the distance because they can’t keep up.” – Dr. King J. Barnett (03:43)

• Spiritual Covering & Discernment
  • Both Dr. Barnett and Crystal share experiences of their mothers receiving spiritual warnings about people in their lives.
    • Crystal: “My mom had a dream that a friend of mine was living with me and poisoning my food... she’s poison to your life... it’s real.” (06:07)
  • The importance of intercessory prayer and spiritual protection when stepping into vulnerable, public work.
• Team & Trust
  • Barnett emphasizes the sacrifice and time required to build a trustworthy team that can handle the weight and delicacy of his purpose and calling.

2. The Weight of Purpose & Spiritual Vulnerability

• On Emotional Exhaustion:
  • Dr. Barnett shares about the spiritual depletion that can come after pouring into others, especially after therapeutic or prophetic events.
    • “When I get off stage, all the virtue is gone.” (07:17)
  • The need to be spiritually covered post-events, as these are moments of great vulnerability and spiritual attack.
• Father Wounds & Seeking Support
  • Dr. Barnett opens up about the lingering pain of not being fathered and how this surfaces even in moments of achievement.
    • “I’ve watched men break down and cry… then the enemy will say, ‘But your dad ain’t call you.’” (10:13)
  • He finds covering and mentorship in spiritual leaders like Bishop T.D. Jakes, who remind him he’s not alone on his journey.
    • “You’re healing ancient wounds in men… You don’t have to walk this out by yourself. I’m here.” (12:00)

3. On Sacrifice, Boundaries, & Saying No

• Setting Boundaries:
  • The discipline of saying “no” creates the power of a meaningful “yes.”
    • “What I say no to gives power to what I say yes to.” – Dr. King J. Barnett (15:00)
  • The hosts discuss the daily, continual surrender to purpose and the need to deny oneself in order to serve a higher calling.
• Sacrifices Required for Purpose:
  • “Dying to myself, every day. Daily. Surrendering.” (15:32)
  • The emotional burden of always being available for others’ healing, while sometimes needing support or a simple hug himself.

4. Faith Journeys: Obedience & Divine Provision

• God-Driven Opportunities
  • Dr. Barnett recounts acquiring A4 Location Health Group—a process driven by faith and spiritual affirmation. Despite many higher offers, the seller chose him because of his heart and integrity.
    • “She said, ‘I had 15 offers, but it was you guys the entire time.’” (35:23)
  • Divine connections and resources began to appear unexpectedly as Barnett continued to walk in faith.
  • The story of moving to Texas as a child is used to illustrate how faith and expectancy shaped his life even in youth.

5. Finding Pace & Preserving Wellbeing

• Barnett’s Upcoming Book: Pursuing Pace
  • Lessons from burnout—touring, overgiving, and physical collapse led to re-evaluating life’s pace.
  • PACE stands for “pathways to alleviating cognitive exhaustion.” Emphasis on finding personal rhythm and not comparing yourself to others.
    • “Most of us are exhausted cognitively, and we cannot make health decisions because we’re so tired.” (53:31)
• Physical & Mental Health for Black Men
  • Candid discussion about men’s health, hormonal changes, and the connection between mental and physical health.
    • “The average life expectancy of a Black man is 61.5 today… Mental health is physical health.” (59:40)
  • Dr. Barnett shares his own health struggles from overwork and how he had to radically change his lifestyle, highlighting the necessity for Black men to prioritize medical care and emotional release.

6. Spiritual Warfare & Discernment

• Carrying Others’ Pain & Protecting Self
  • The dangers of carrying spiritual attachments from others after events and the real experience of wrestling with oppressive spirits.
    • “People don’t realize these spirits… mental health is so much spiritual.” (64:57)
• The Power of Discernment
  • “I can be around somebody right now, and I can quickly discern their spirit ain’t right. I ain’t gonna say nothing… I’m just gonna move around.” (66:03)
  • The importance for healers and faith leaders to cultivate spiritual discernment and guard their environments.

7. Creativity, Faith, and Career Boundaries

• Balancing Faith with Creative Work
  • Crystal shares about turning down roles that don’t align with her faith and ensuring her work leaves people changed or uplifted.
    • “Nothing is worth sacrificing or sabotaging my relationship with Christ over a role.” (71:38)
  • Both discuss the spiritual risks and aftereffects of taking on dark or demonic roles as actors.
• On the Creative Journey
  • Dr. Barnett shares how certain acting experiences required intense spiritual preparation and decompression, reflecting on cautionary industry tales.

8. Listener Questions & Advice

• On Bringing Faith to Work
  • Crystal affirms she’s never denied her faith in her career, even if it meant passing on opportunities. She brings redemptive faith elements into her roles for greater impact. (70:14)
• On Therapy Choices
  • Dr. Barnett advises a listener on considering whether a male therapist might meet his current needs, noting how different therapist identities can fill emotional gaps or trigger old wounds. (81:47)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The purpose creates the distance because they can’t keep up.”
  — Dr. King J. Barnett (03:43)

• “What I say no to gives power to what I say yes to.”
  — Dr. King J. Barnett (15:00)

• “It’s your surrender that is provoking God to expand your territory.”
  — Intercessor speaking to Dr. King J. Barnett (15:53)

• “I just needed the physical embrace of—nothing sexual—but just the connection of, like, man, let me hold you in a second.”
  — Dr. King J. Barnett on men’s need for healthy touch (17:41)

• “Mental health is physical health. Pursuing Pace came from that, because Bishop said, ‘If you don’t pace yourself, you’re not going to make it.’”
  — Dr. King J. Barnett (60:12)

• “People don’t realize these spirits… mental health is so much spiritual.”
  — Dr. King J. Barnett (64:57)

• “Art is imitation…so I want to be really careful. I don’t do, like, horror stuff…I want everything I do to have some type of redemptive story.”
  — Crystal Renee Hayslett on aligning faith and creative choices (71:38)

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Important Timestamps

• Letting Go to Go Higher: 03:15 – 05:50
• Spiritual Covering & Being Vulnerable in Ministry: 05:50 – 08:15
• Emotional Costs of Pouring Into Others & Father Wounds: 09:02 – 11:29
• On Mentorship and Building the Right Team: 12:11 – 13:30
• Power of Saying No & Sacrifice for Purpose: 14:47 – 15:32
• Burnout and Physical Health Journey: 52:56 – 59:56
• Listener Q&A—Faith and Career Choices: 70:14 – 81:05

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Final Reflections

Both Crystal and Dr. Barnett echo mutual gratitude for the healing and encouragement found in authentic, spiritually-rooted conversation. They emphasize the importance of walking by faith, being intentional about environments and relationships, honoring self-care, and allowing oneself to be poured into as much as one pours out.

“Healing doesn’t mean perfection. It means being honest enough to start.” – Crystal Renee Hayslett (End)

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Connect & Learn More

• Follow Dr. King J. Barnett: KingJBarnett (Instagram, X, Facebook, Threads)
• Listen: Just Heal with Dr. J (Black Effect)
• Crystal Renee Hayslett: Host, Keep It Positive Sweetie
• Upcoming: “Pursuing Pace” (Book)—drops 2027 (Penguin Random House)

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The conversation stands as a testament to the strength found in vulnerability, faith, wise boundaries, and community. Whatever your stage of healing—remember to keep it honest, keep it healing, and always… Keep It Positive, Sweetie.

Transcript

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[Dr. King J. Barnett]

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[Dr. King J. Barnett]

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[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Magical holiday, calling all my sweeties to the forefront. I'm your host, Chris Renee Hazlett, and this is the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show.

And everybody can't go. And Tyler, he was on here, and he said, it's like a rocket ship. You know, you have boosters, but when it gets to a certain elevator, they fall off.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah. When it breaks, that stratosphere stuff has to fall off because it. It'll slow it down, you know?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. Have you dealt with that?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

It's been. It's been hard.

For me because I care so much about people.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But then on the other side, the purpose creates the distance.

Because they can't keep up.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I'm saying? And so. And I'm sure, like. Because, like, there's times, literally, I'd be like, God. God is so funny with me. Like, I'll. I'll meet somebody. I'll be like, God, they cool. And, you know, we'll get to chopping it up, man. And all of a sudden, I got. I'm on the road for, like. And I'll try to keep up, but. And God was speaking to me. You know, he said, you.

[Arvind Krishna]

You.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I'm a. I have to assign certain people to where you are. Because what we carry.

As massive as it is and as powerful as it is, it's too delicate to be put in the wrong hands.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes. Too delicate to be mismanaged.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And it's too delicate to be mismanaged. So there are some friendships that I've had to grieve, and I've had to have some conversation, you know, with some friends that they accepted it, and they was like, man, Jay, we just. You know, we just so used to what it was.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. But it ain't that no more.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And it ain't that no more. And the fear for a lot of people when God starts to expand, those that whoever he's handpicked and chose is. Nobody wants to be left behind.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And that's what it is. And so I've had to learn that I can't bring everybody. And I think right now I have the perfect team around me. It took years.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

To find the right fit people that. That you can trust with your career.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You Know what I'm saying? Cuz that's big.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But through much prayer, it's just my mom, man, interceding for me. And then there's a. A few ladies that intercede along with her. Some. Some. Some old saints, man, that. That going to get up there in the morning and call on God, man, and that going to see. And they're going to say, hey, King, watch out for this and watch out for that. You know what I mean, Man, That. That's just such a blessing to have people. Because when we're doing what we do, we. You know, there's some things that we overlook that we miss.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And sometimes a snake do get in the camp. And I never forget. My mom told me about this particular person, man. She woke up out of her sleep and called me.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Oh, wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

God said, don't share nothing else with them.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

My mama had a dream about somebody, too. That's crazy.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

My.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Must be. My mom had a dream that a friend of mine was living with me and poisoning my food.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

My God.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

And she was like, please. She said, just be careful. And she was like, I don't think it's. She would literally do that, but she's poison to your life. I said, my God, today, as you say, no, it was mama's being.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

It's real, and we need it, because we don't. Because a husband is a covering as much as a wife is a covering. We don't have that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I'm saying? So we need it, and I welcome it. Like, before I get on the stage, my mother prays. And when I get off the stage, she pray, and she says, I'll do this till your wife come.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because she says, I need you to be covered. Because when I get on stage and open up myself.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And you notice from playing a character.

You have to become void so the character feels. You know what I'm saying? And so I have to be open for God to pour into me what the people need, no matter how much I study, no matter how much I know, and the ingenuity of the concepts and all of that. And then I get off stage, all the virtue is gone.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Mm.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And recently.

I was in Detroit, and it was a very prophetic move that I thought it was just gonna be a regular men's retreat. And it turned into me speaking in some men's life. And I got off stage, and CJ wasn't with me, but the guy had some brothers who was some solid brothers. And they walked me to the back, and I was Literally, like, I gotta call my mama. Gotta call my mama immediately. I just. Like I said, mama, pray. I was so drained.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

It's like Jesus when he would feed the fish and five loaves of bread and feed everybody.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And the reason you got to be prayed over, because that is your most vulnerable state.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes, it is.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I watch too many men fall. Yep. Because if you don't have anybody to cover you, you become so vulnerable, and you'll find yourself. Yourself in a vulnerable state.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And so, you know, I just thank God that you have that mother man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That does that, man.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because for sure, like, we have a huge assignment.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

We do. And it's in, like you said, the people, like, making sure. Have you ever. Have you noticed, like, as you grow closer to God, that you have a distaste for things that you used to, like, love? And then you see, like, you're around people, you're like.

What? Yeah. I'm so grateful that the people around me, like, I don't have to worry about that, you know?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yes, yes. Like, there's a lot like. Like, you know, my team now is really good, but they've even grown to understand the things I have a distaste for.

Like, when I'm on set, they know. You know what I mean? Pray, because we've been on set times, filming, and.

Like, there's a breakthrough happening for people. You know what I mean? And there's a breakthrough happening for people. And I'll tell them, like, hey, prayer may break out during this episode, because if you're talking to somebody who is on a healing journey, and I'm talking about deep things and things that have a stronghold on people, because I know I carry a breaker's anointing. You get around me, you gonna get set free.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Come on now.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

There's no doubt about it. You cannot stay the same around me.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Can you see Jay okay? Yeah. You can't stay the same around me. You cannot. And that's not an arrogance, but that's what God is giving me.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

It's a breaker's anointing, which is why he placed me in the mental health space that I ain't got to lay hands on that. That's such a power in my words.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Come on.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

That will shift that stronghold, that spirit that dis Ease that you have. And I know that. And in knowing that, the devil knows that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yep.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So that's time. I've gotten off stage. I've saw people be. Be set free. I've watched men break down and cry. And I'll get Off stage. And the enemy will say.

But. But your dad ain't call you.

You know what I'm saying?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know, you, You, You. You still, you know, want to be fathered. You know what I mean?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because I. I do. And again, I'm not in a place where I'm like, oh, I want to be father.

[Coca-Cola Advertiser]

But.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But there's parts of me they still want that, that would love to have conversations with him. That pours into me.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And not this kind of like, hey, just, you know, where you at today? Like, you know what I mean? How's travel like to have a word from him.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I'm saying?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

True relationship.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah, exactly. And so the enemy will whisper that, because I hear men say, Man, Dr. J. My God, brother, you broke something in me. And I have to get on the phone to seal that door.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because if that door stays open, I'll be depressed for three days.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Who you call, when to say?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I usually call my mother.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I usually usually talk with her. Bishop Jakes has been so pivotal in this space, man. Bishop borders, you know, two strong men of God that have walked through things, that have overcome, that know the Bible, but know life.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Their season.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Not just in the Word, but their season in life.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's important.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I mean? So they got range. You know, they've been where I'm at. And Bishop scares me all the time. He's like, you got a strong call.

I wouldn't want to be you. I'm on my way out. It's on you now. I'd be like, listen, man. But, you know, he told me, he said. He said, you're healing ancient wounds in men.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And he said, you're under an open heaven. So whatever you ask God for, he's going to give it my God. Just keep walking in it. And he told me this a couple of weeks ago.

And it just blessed me. He said, you don't have to walk this out by yourself. I'm here. Wow. Because it's scary, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. And that's probably what you want to hear from your father.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah. It's scary, man. And I think because he told me, Bishop said, I pour into you because I see the trajectory you on. You're on the same trajectory I was on.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I remember I spent like five hours with him, and we was walking in his backyard, and he said, I brought you out here so you can see where you're going. And this is like some couple years ago. And he said, you're on that trajectory. And he said, build the right team. And he said, build what God is showing you. And when he said that, it just did something in me. And to have him. Because we're at a season where you gotta talk to the Tylers.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah, yeah. When you say that, that reminds me. That is who Tyler is to me.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I gotta talk to the Jakes, you gotta talk to the Oprahs. You gotta talk to. You know what I'm saying? You know, the Ava DuVernay. Like, you have to sit with those people now. And it's not that we can't sit down here, but when you're called up, you have to be talking to people who are up. Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Come on, Jay, say it again.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

When you're called up, you have to be talking to people who are up. Because if you go down, you feel bad, you feel guilty for being up.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Survivor's guilt. Because now down makes you feel a certain type of way. Well, I normally don't eat at places like this. And I mean, I guess everything has to be like, I'm sorry that I want a good meal. And again, and it's not saying. And that's what God is really training me to understand.

That you can't go back to down. And I want to be clear. That's not saying that I can't come down to mountain, to the mountain and speak to you, but I have to understand that my conversations and my relationship has to be up.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because everybody that's down don't. Don't want to do the work.

To be not. Not. Not just to be called up, but what it requires to go up.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because there's a level like the word that comes to me, you have to abnegate. You have to deny yourself to go up.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

There's sacrifices that you have to make. There's things that you have to say no to.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And say no with such a confidence to say, yep, maybe a good opportunity.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But it's not for me.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes. My friend told me. She said, girl, you say no so easily, I'm like, that's my favorite word. No.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because what I say no to gives power to what I say yes to.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's a word, Doc, you're preaching now. That's a word.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

It gives power to my.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So I gotta say, nah, I can't. I can't make that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I'm free.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Exactly.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Ain't nothing on the calendar.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Just can't.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. You talk about sacrifices. What is one of the biggest sacrifices you've had to make to be Dr. King J. Barnett. Like, to be who you are.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Dying to myself, every day, Daily.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's a daily thing.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

A daily thing. Surrendering.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I truly believe my intercessor was talking to me the other day. She said she was giving me this word that God gave her for me. And she says, man, it's your surrender that is.

Provoking God to expand your territory. Yeah, it's a surrender. Because, Crystal, that's time. I don't want to. I don't want to give a word. I don't want to speak to the brothers. Because sometimes I need a word. You know what I'm saying? There's times that I walk in my door after men blowing up my dm, and you know what I'm saying? After the Den of Kings episode, air with Kirk Franklin, my brother. Love him.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And what he's doing with his platform and the amount of men that were blowing up my DMs, man. And I'm just like. Because when that. When the episode hit, I was in a good space mentally, but I wasn't in a good space emotionally.

Cause emotionally, my heart is like, man, dude, why do I have to keep doing this alone? Emotionally, mentally, because of the athlete in me. Like, let's go to work.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yes, let's go to work. But emotionally. So all of these men are like, bro, man, this episode, man, I got dudes screenshotting me that they're booking therapy sessions.

[Lowe's Advertiser]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

After the episode, Wives Are DMing Me, said, you are helping me understand my husband.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

This is what he's been trying to tell me.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

And sometimes you need to hear that from a different perspective to understand. Yeah, man.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Mothers that are like, Dr. J, can we. Can I get my son? And I'm like, man, I don't see patients, clients anymore, you know, and just, like, trying to find resources for them.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I'm saying to God, I need a resource.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Come on.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Like. Like, Crystal, that week, that thing. Air. I needed the biggest hug.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Like, I mean, I just needed the physical embrace of. Nothing sexual, but just the connection of, like, man, let me hold you in a second.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because. Because. Because we don't hear men talk about that.

[Arvind Krishna]

Right?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

We don't.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I've had.

A young lady that I was talking to, and she says, what do you think that you need? Mostly as you're. I said, hug.

Sometimes it's just the embrace. Nothing sexually. It ain't on no physical. Because I'm at a place where it's like, just what a hug does. The restoration and even understanding that we need about four to six hugs a daily as human beings. It's good for our mental state. It's good for our. That serotonin. Because when you get a hug, it creates a sense of belonging.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And connection. And sometimes I feel lonely during the work because.

I look around at the mountaintop, and there's not a lot of men that think on this level. There's a lot of men that are educational, and they have the. The Ackerman educational. But the spiritual thing that I have, they don't have.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because I'm not always moving clinically, you know, and theoretically, sometimes it's through revelation.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I'm saying? It's not information. You know what I mean? So there's times where it's like, I need to be around somebody who understands a shift spiritually.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know, and not always be so technical. And I'm like. Like, God, I need to be able to talk to somebody about this dream I just had.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right. Right.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I'll call my mom, and she'll be like. She was like, king. Like, she. She used to call me King. Now she called me Doc. She's Doc, you had in dreams lately. I said, matter of fact, Mama, because I don't want to bother her with stuff like that. So, you know, I said, mama, you kept me process something. Because if Mama go, you know, start digging. Yeah, man. And she's. And she's been digging a lot lately.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Really?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because when I'm on the road a lot, she digs.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Okay.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

She said, how you feeling, Doc? I said, I'm all right, Mama. You know, how was the meeting? I said, it was good. Men were blessed and, you know, life. Da, da, da. And she'll be like, nah. How you really feeling? I said, mama, man, it's rough out here.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

She like, give me the real.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I said, mama, it's hard out here. She be like, baby, I'm praying for you. I'm praying. I'm praying, son. It's coming. She coming.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

She coming.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I said, mama, she knew.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

What you talking about?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Listen, listen, Chris. I said, mama, you said this five years ago, Negro. Stop.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right? Where is she?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Just stop. Just stop, man. And we'll laugh about it. But you know.

That sacrifice, man is daily. I have to give it back to him.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And what we've been given are gifts. Because what is extraordinary to others is just order. We just do what we do, you know? So the sacrifice is giving it back to him. And. And I would say this to anybody, that if God is giving you a gift of ministry, a gift of business, a gift of arts, a gift of law, a gift of political science, a gift of exercise, fitness. Whatever it is, give it back to him, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

That's what keeps me humble.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because.

I'll never forget being under that bed. So no amount of money.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Success, fame, whatever, make me forget that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Forget that moment.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And it's because people are like, man, you're so humble. You so approaching. I'm like, I was under my bed trying to die.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

How dare I put my nose in the air. Like I'm. Because guess what? We're all one phone call, one text.

One conversation away from being in a depressed state, because all it takes is a conversation for somebody to say, hey, the doctor on the phone. You know what I'm saying? For somebody to say, hey, so and so was in an accident. Hey, we're gonna let you go. So you. You. How. How dare I?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So when I tell brothers, when they. They admire me, I'm like, brother, I'm still on my own journey.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Daily I got to get on my knees and give this thing back to him. I got to give my flesh back to him.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I'm saying? Because you know what I mean? I want to be outside, too.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And not in that way, but, you know, there's times I want to just go out, let my hair. Now, you know, I'm not a drinker or a smoker, but that's time. I just want to be like, you know what? I want to go to a little chill spot tonight. But then I just got like, you can't go, Jay. You can't go. So I got to curate a space or I got to get with people like Crystal, you know what I'm saying? Or where it's secluded and where folks ain't got their phones out.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Oh, my goodness, Ashana, we gotta bring him on a boat day. It's a good time, man. Like, ain't no recordings.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

None of that. When I tell you, I love how you know that spaces where we can go in, and it's just like, ain't nobody, man. And we all in the moment.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I did that for my birthday last year. I did a basin party at my house and had everybody sign NDAs, and.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Then we sign them NDA, baby.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. You couldn't get downstairs with your phone.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah, listen, I love it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah, we had a ball.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Listen, listen, have you done Michelle Williams podcast?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I haven't, no.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But I love Michelle, so, Michelle, you gotta do a podcast. Michelle And I like this, man. That is my dog, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

She's amazing.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I love Michelle. Michelle. One thing. Michelle gonna call me Doc, Apostle, bishop, evangelist. Make sure you got them NDAs.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Make sure you got. Listen. Sign them everybody. Boy, listen. I don't care how long you known them. I made my family sign NDAs before they come to my house. Cause y' all ain't about to slip and fall in Sue B. I'm serious, man.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Listen, Michelle, I love you, man. Listen. And now Crystal. Now Crystal telling me about like, Listen, CJ, get them NDAs together, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes, yes. Appearance, releases and everything. Okay, listen.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But it has been. It's been a beautiful journey though, to see what God has done in my life. And then. And then too, just to be in spaces like you. Because.

To sit in the space with you is like to meeting another avenger.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow. I love that. Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Like when we get together, think about when you get together with other gifted people.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And spiritually sound.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And mentally grounded and emotionally competent people.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes. There's a shift. Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

We like. Dang. Where you been?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's crazy. Seriously. Yeah, man.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Where you been? Yes. And it's just such a. And it's such a restorative time for sure. I'm encouraged being here today with you, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Oh, thank you.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I'm encouraged. I feel like the old folks. I feel like I can run on.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Come on now. See what the end gonna be. Amen.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Woo.

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[Dr. King J. Barnett]

All.

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[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Mm.

[Coca-Cola Advertiser]

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[Malcolm Gladwell]

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[Arvind Krishna]

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[Malcolm Gladwell]

To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com smarttalks.

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[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Well, you've accomplished so much. I'm so proud of you. But the latest thing you've done, you and Dr. Joel Tubman have acquired A4 Location Health Group. Tell me more about this. Because you've thrived in the mental health space via social media and all over the world, but now you're bringing it home to Dallas.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

How's that?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

It has been a God thing. You know, I've always wanted to own my own practice, but the way this thing happened was truly a God thing. Sitting in a meeting, and in the midst of the meeting, I'm sitting, I felt the lady shift in the meeting. I felt. I said, man, this lady is a seer. She paused the meeting and she says, Dr. J, I just see you in this building and this programs and da, da, da, da, da. And I'm sitting there and all stuff God has showed me.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And so she end with that. And then she goes, have you ever thought about owning your own mental health practice? I said, no. She says, well, someone very close to me is selling their practice. The husband is retiring, and they want to sell the practice. So make a long story short, she says, I'll put you guys in an email. I go visit the lady.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's crazy.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I go visit the lady. Doesn't look like us. Caucasian lady.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Sit down. She had researched me, but, you know, it's different when you meet somebody. We get to talking.

And she says, what got you into mental health? And I shared my story. And she was just Dana in tears.

And she said, you really love people, don't you? I said, absolutely. I said, I don't care if they white, black, you know, what color. I said, I want to see people. Well. And I said, more importantly, I want to see men. Well, right. And she said to me, she said, I would love to see more men come into my practice.

And the lady said, my practice is listed at 1.2 million revenue. And she says, but for you, I'll give it to you half of that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I was like, so Joel. So Joel is in town preaching, so we go to dinner. I said, bro, I just had this meeting. This lady wants me to consider buying a practice. And Joe. What Dog? You lying dog. We gotta do it, man.

Yeah. He said, we he in it. And so I said. He said, I mean, he said, if you have me, right? I said, you?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I said, he Said, dog, I said, what she want for it? I said, JT, I got. I got 50 on me now. I said, JT, we don't know JT is. You see he. Well, nope, Because I already know he's going to be polished. Dr. Joe this and that. I love you, bro, but, you know, he was like, nigga. So we started talking. So we do a meeting, and we meet with the owner and her husband. So we meet with them. She sends an email, and she says, I want you guys to consider buying my practice. I was like, so we go look at all four of the locations. Beautiful. And this lady was owner. So we got a team together to do the due diligence, to look under the hood, to check the financials and. And the profit and losses, all of that. Everything checks out.

So we were going to go the SBA route, but then all of a sudden, the lady says, make me an offer. Now, she had gave us one number.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Then she turned around and said, make her an offer.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

God. All in the midst of this thing.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I said, jt, dog, I'm telling you, man, God is gonna do it. So, Mama, Mary, I took. She had a postcard. When we went by the first office, she had a postcard. I took it home and put it in the Bible and I lifted before God. I said, God, if it's your will, yeah, I'll do it. But if it's not. And I sent my Bible down and walked out. My mother called me that night and said, doc, God is going to give you that practice.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I said, mama, because this process was about three months, Chris.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. People don't understand. This is.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Acquisitions is a lot of work, man. It's a lot of work. And I'm in San Diego visiting my therapist. I took eight days off. I said, I need to go by the water and pray.

The second day, I was in San Diego, Jake, with Joe. We got off the phone, and I said, man. He said, man, what do you think? So the broker says, hey, somebody just made us a cash offer. So I said, man, jt. The broker said. The broker. I felt he was a little, you know, I ain't going to say, but I didn't think he wanted us to get.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So the broker says, hey, Dr. J, Dr. Joel, somebody's made a cash offer, and the owner is going to review it. And I told Joe, I said, brad, bro, we can chalk it up, man. Somebody make her a cash offer, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

She ain't gonna refuse it.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I said, she gonna take that, Joe, man. Trust God, man. I said, jt, I trust God. But right now, this white man, right?

I said, jt, I trust God. But, bro, I'm just.

The next morning, I get an email.

From the broker. The owner accepted y' all offer.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Trust God, man.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So I call him, right? I'm on east coast. I mean, I'm on the west coast. So it's. I'm like, it's 6 o' clock my time. I'm at the gym. So I'm hype ready. I'm like crying. I call him, I think he's in Florida. So he's like three hours ahead.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I said, jt, you ain't gonna bleed this what.

I said, she accepted the offer. Nigga, I told you.

Oh, I love my brother. I told you God was gonna do this thing, man. And sure enough, man, this lady Crystal, she told me in our meeting, she said I had 15 offers because people want that. She said, I had 15 offers, but it was you guys the entire time.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I know it was your heart for the people.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And that's what she said. She said, venture capitalists, so many people that offered money because, oh, the revenue and the upside is astronomical. But she said, it was your heart, you and Dr. Joel and the business ackman and just the integrity that you guys move in. And I said, what made you choose us? She said, you guys were always the right choice. She said, I had 15 cash offers.

And she said, I'm excited to see what you guys do with my baby. She says, I'm not going anywhere. She said, I want you guys to lead it. I want you guys to expand it, diversify it and all the things. And so, man, when I tell you. And then.

About three weeks ago, I get a call from a brother who's a pastor who calls and says, hey, man, why didn't you tell me what you and Joel was doing? I said, well, I didn't know I had to call you first. And he said, I'm calling you because I have a building that's paid for in Chicago.

And he said, what do you want to do with it? I said, definitely mental health.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

He said, either you could take a whole floor, you could take the whole building. I said, man, what's. Like, I said, what's the catch? He said, there's no catch. He says, I. I live in New York. And he said, I own a lot of property, Jay, and I want to give you this building. Wow. Gave me the building. He said, I want to give you the deed. He said, come look at it. I want you to walk through It.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

He said, I want you. And then another brother called.

Another brother called.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And said, brother, how much money do you need? I said, I don't need none. He said, I just want to get behind what you're doing. This brother said, well, when you do it, just know that you got a million dollars behind the next project.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

My God, that's. That's nothing.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But God just. Just walking in faith.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And just trusting God. When he told me to go back to school.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. Yeah. And look, obeying that.

[TJ Maxx Advertiser]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Obedience.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

He told me God told me to go back to school in 2015.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Did you question that? Like, why. Why you went to school? Lord.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I was working in a group home, volunteer for all girls. Group home.

And I had a program for girls that were battling anxiety and depression. And Alicia Jarrett, the director of Black Woman, she said, jay, you need to go back to school. She said, jay, you good at this. You need to be a therapist. I said, miss Alicia, by this time, I've been in therapy. I was 33 years old. She said, jay, I said, miss Alicia, I'm 33. I ain't going back to no school, man. If this bachelor don't do it, I can't. I can't do it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I went home, and God arrested me. God said, go back to school. Something is coming. That's what he said. This is 2015. 2020.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Before therapy was even.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Like before therapy.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Come on now.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And when 2020 happened and George Floyd passed and I started talking about mental health and black men, Taraji came across my video, brought me on her team. Dropped Just Hill, bro. Right after that, in August. I'm writing Just Here, Bro. Just because God told me. He said, write it down. I heard the name Just Here, Bro.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I wrote the book. A year later, Meet Hope Allen turned Just Here Bro Into a tour. We do. We tour. Three years, 36 cities, 18,000 men.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Then you know what I'm saying. I get a book deal. Then it's like all this just.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I. And I heard God say to me, your obedience has provoked me the same as Abraham. Obedience provoked him.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes. Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I've always been fascinated by Abraham because it's like, how do you. How do you be called a friend of God?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes. Right.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

To be considered a friend. Friend. And I was asking God, he said, the way he trusts me.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Trust. Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

The way he trusts him to say, hey, the very son that I gave you. I'm not calling you to sacrifice him.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But to think that Abraham faith was so strong in God.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

That he was walking in faith and didn't even know it because he looked at the scripture, said he looked at his servant and said, me and the lad are going to worship.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And we will be back down.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because he knew, not knowing that there was a ram in the bush.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes. He had faith. That's a different kind of faith. That's a different kind of faith.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So when he told me to go, I. I was. I was in a relationship. Engaged at 33.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I'm like, I'm going back. Like, going back to college or what?

And I'm like, you know, I just hear God. Jay. Really? You heard God, man?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Not Jay. Really?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Oh, man. Like, talk. And this is. Talking to people about what God has said to you, man, is so dangerous.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No, seriously.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I learned that because it was just, like, it broke my spirit. It broke my confidence. And then she did call me when I was on Sherry shepherd show. She texted me.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

She did.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

She DM me, matter of fact, and said.

To watch a man walk in. What God says. She says, jay, she's married now. And so God bless her.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Shout out to her.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But she said, jay, the respect that I have for you, because I've never seen a man walk in something that he felt led to do.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. That's real.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I said, when God saved my life, I'm like, I. I know I don't owe God, but I've always felt that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I had no other choice but to trust him.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That is so true.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

That's how we got here. I told Joe. I was like. I said, bro, I woke up the other morning and I said, jt. What.

Man? He'd be like, sometimes, like, I love a baker. Sometimes he. Because he has so much going on. Yeah, dog. What I said, bro, we really own this practice, dude.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

It's crazy. And I want people to understand because I have a friend whose family owns a really big one here in Atlanta, to understand one, how hard it is to get it from the ground up. People would cut off a left foot to have somebody who's already built it up and say, here are my books. Here's the business. Like, the hard part is already over. Like, literally, they don't understand how hard it is.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

This lady built this thing for nine years.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And she is willingly handing it over.

[Arvind Krishna]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That is. That in itself is a huge blessing.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I mean, I'm just like, you know, we was like, we have weekly calls with her because, you know, she's going to stay on until, you know, till she fully transition out and she said to us, she says, guys, I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be right here. You know, because I'm like, you know, we assembling a great team. And she's so excited for us.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's amazing. Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Like, she gets on a call. Guys, how do y' all feel being Otis?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Oh, what's her name?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Her name's Rebecca.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Rebecca. Everybody needs a Rebecca, man.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

She. Guys, how do you guys feel?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And Joby.

Man. Oh, it's. It's scary. And I'm like, rebecca, I'm like, I don't know. Like, it's so surreal.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I love the way God deals with me because he said, believe it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

You believe it. Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

It's through your obedience that I put you in this position because. Because I'm like, now. Because we're looking to expand, not only in Chicago, but in Florida. And God said, I've already made the way.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

You know what I mean?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But I've always had this faith about God that was restored through therapy, even when I was a kid. When my parents divorced, we grew up in Mississippi. And I told my mom, I said, you got to get us out of here. And my mom said, baby, I don't know where we going. So it was either Memphis, because we live north Mississippi, which is like an hour from Memphis. I said, mama, Memphis is just second cousin to Mississippi, Right? I said, so we went to Texas to visit some of her friends. And this was in July for the Fourth of July in 1996. And I said, mama, I would like to move to Texas. Jay, we ain't moving. My mom had a great job, so I started packing stuff in the house. True story. I started packing stuff in the house, boxing it up, boxing it up. And my mama came home one day, jay, stop boxing up my stuff, boy. I said, mama, we moving. I said, God said, we moving, Mama. I'm telling you, we getting out of here. Because I did not want to go to Nate Gray, to Mississippi, man. Like, I was like, mama, I do not want to. I do not want to go to school. School here because my parents. Divorce was so public, and there was such shame around it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And. And I knew my mom did not want to stay there because she was a first lady, and everybody knew what had happened when it went down.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I can feel her shame even at the age of 13.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Man. My mama came home August 10th. This is. My mind remembers these dates. August 10th, she pulled in the yard with a U Haul truck.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I said, mama.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

She said, we Moved.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I said, mama, what you do? She had got a severance package from her job.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Her vehicle that she had.

She had to give it back to the job. She couldn't take it out of state. And by the time she walked through the house, she said, this boy done packed up all my stuff. My neighbor, Lamont. Lamont Thomas said. Came over. The neighbor. He was my classmate. He said, jj, where y' all going? I said, man, we going to Texas.

He started crying. He was like, man, my man. My friend, leave it. Cause he lived directly across the street. He came over and helped us pack the truck.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

My mama drove that U Haul truck to Texas.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I know that's right.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So my friend, faith has. And God brought me to my faith in therapy. When I started healing, he said, remember what I did?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Remember. The same way those tapes play Back of the Bad Times. You got to remember how God guided you. Yeah, that's real.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So I never forget that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And how easily do we forget?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Very easy. Oh, my goodness. We get amnesia real quick. But he'll remind you, man.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Faithful, Crystal.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

He is.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Even when we're not faithful. Even when we're not on the right path. And I had to learn. Even when we're on the wrong path. We're on the right path.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because again, he's the author and the finisher.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

He is.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So you may be over here. Don't worry. And that's what I love about him, man, that he's not. He's not. He's not sadistic. He's not trying to punish us or trying to kill us. He's just trying to prune us, you know what I'm saying? For our assignment. So.

My life is a completely faith journey. I'm like, good God. I got faith for everything. But this whole spouse thing, I don't know what's happening.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

She's coming, Jay. We gonna touch a degree right now.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Listen, I ain't gonna touch a degree with you, Crystal. Cause everybody been saying she coming, man. Listen, listen. I'm saying this. Whether she come or not, I'm okay.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

And you know what? I feel like when you get there, she's gonna come, because that's where I am.

[Arvind Krishna]

Me, too.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I'd be like, lord, I'm good.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I'm happy.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I'm good. So, yeah, that is so true.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I am good, man. I am good. I'm in my 40s. Thriving.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Nope. I'm in my 30s.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I'm in my 20s.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

She's 25. I'm 32.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Y' all remember that 32. 25.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So my birthday next year and you go J. Happy 33rd.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

There we go.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Do not ask me what my birth date, what my number is. I'm telling you right now, it's 32.

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[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah. I'm at peace, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I love it.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I'm at peace, man.

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[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Woo.

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[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Mmm.

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[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Hello. Hello.

[Malcolm Gladwell]

I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast smart talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO Arvind Krishna, and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?

[Arvind Krishna]

My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today with the goal of being 70% more productive. Yeah, so we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say you can leverage what we did. We are happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process. Because the biggest change is not to happen. Technology is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.

[Malcolm Gladwell]

To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com smarttalks.

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[Chris Renee Hazlett]

You have to be. I think that's important to find peace wherever you are in your life, you know, and then everything that's supposed to come will come.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah, I ain't crystal. I'm telling you. I ain't worried about nothing.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Good. Be anxious about.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Anxious for nothing.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's it.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Pray about everything.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I gotta go to bed, baby. Cuz we looking good for 25:32. Listen, and so I. I don't need no bags under my eye. I got just a little gray specs. This is all my black one in.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

My edge right here. I be pulling it out, though.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

No, I got one look.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

They like, is that a gray hair?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I'm like, no, like, you know, listen, I just got a little dash of salt in my beard, but other than that, this is. None of my hair up here is great. Like, I may got a little. But baby, I'm not gonna let these folk gray me out.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I know that's right. Listen. Cause they will. You saw what I have in Obama. That man came in with a full head of black hair and left out.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Hey, ooh, that stress will do it, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

It will do it. It's a real thing. It's a real thing. Speaking of stress and balance, you have a new book called Pursuing Pace. Oh, man, it's all about the pace. People feel like this marathon is about sprinting, but that pace is everything. Let's talk about that.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So pursuing pace drops in 2027. I signed with Penguin Random House. I'm so excited about this project. But this book came about in 2023.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Oh, wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I Was on the road touring, you know, pouring into men. And I was sleep. Literally woke up in my bed, set up in my bed, and heard pursue pace. And God was telling me to slow down, not stop, but slow down.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Pace doesn't mean you're going slow. It means you have to find a rhythm.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And so I'm excited for people. And pace is also. I created an acronym for. It is the pathways to alleviating cognitive exhaustion. Most of us are exhausted cognitively, and we cannot make health decisions because we're so tired, we're exhausted for real. So in this book, man, I am talking about finding your pace. I'm talking about discovering rhythm, but then I'm also talking about not comparing your race to others.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I mean? So I think. And. And I'm sharing stories because, again, I'm going back to Bishop. Bishop was hard on me when I was on tour. He said, you better slow down, because, man, I was just pouring and pouring and pouring and took sick. Wow. Took sick.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I was on stage and forgot everything.

I'm on stage, forgot everything and had a mental breakdown at home and checked myself into an institution in San Diego. And that when that. It became real at that moment and went into the doctor. And I've shared this, especially brothers. I'm 32, but I'm a. For you brothers that are 35 plus and 40 plus.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Go to the doctor.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yes. Like brothers think. Just because women are aging. And again, you know, I had the opportunity to walk with my mother. She's had a hysterectomy, and again, I'm the only son at the time caring for her perimenopause. When it started happening, my bachelor's in science and anatomy and physiology. So I understood the reproductive system and helping her understand because there was this fear that she had about going to the doctor and having that procedure. And so what. What is happening with the body is the body's changing hormonally, and men think that's just happening in women, but it's happening to us too, brothers.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Oof.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I mean? When your testosterone level starts to lower, starts to dip, you see men, breasts starts to protrude. That's estrogen. Because our body's taking a change.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I'm saying? So what is happening is the woman. Estrogen. Estrogen levels are increasing. So which is shifting her hormonally. And if she doesn't have a good diet and she doesn't have a healthy environment, because some things are Environmental. And then her body begins to shift. So, you know, paramenopause is. You don't have clarity of thought. How it works for men is. Your test levels drop, Brothers, you might want to hear this. Your soldier don't start to march, and he's not standing up.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Up.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And when your soldier ain't standing up, he ain't marching. Guess what? You're going to fall into a depression.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because your testosterone levels are low. Your testosterone levels are low. You don't have the grit. So rather than working out or getting up to doing something yourself, you come home and hop right on the couch or you stroll.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I mean? So my test. And again, I've interviewed my doctor on my show, Dr. Jill. Phenomenal.

I was picking up weight and I was working out. I was eating right, and I was just like, man. And then I got on stage and forgot I was having this mental breakdown. I went in, I took sick because I developed vertigo from traveling.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Oh, my goodness.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Got on stage to speak, and the whole sanctuary I was in a church started spinning.

I had to go to my hotel room and lay down because that vertigo is something serious.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I go in, my doctor, she gives me something to help with it because I had fluid. I had double ear infection.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because I lost 45 of my hearing in my left ear as a kid. So I've always battled with ear infections. I am the worst. I go do a full blood panel, go through everything. My blood pressure was high, and I'm not a person who eat bad.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

My cholesterol, everything. And Dr. Jill, in that little chair scooted over to me. She tapped me on his knee because I was sick as a dog.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

She said, baby, you sick.

And your body's breaking down on you.

So the average man test level should be between 800 to 1200. Maximum output for young males is in your 20s. And it starts to dip after 35.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

My test levels. I'm not ashamed to say this because I. I got. Got stopped touring and got in the gym.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And relieved the stress because touring is stressful.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

It is.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And then I'm speaking into 400, 500, 600 men who've never heard anything about mental health.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Who's letting go of pain, trauma that they've been holding on. And I'm taking all that in.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

My Testosterone levels was 235.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

235.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

You said between 800, and they should.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Be between 800 and 1200.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

235.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And she said, jay, you've got to change.

I didn't take a speaking engagement for four months.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Good for you. Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I met my trainer, Brennis, out of Florida. When Joe went to Florida to pastor.

And I said, bro, I. I need some help. And this is a black man who understand. Aging brother looks phenomenal at 45. Put me on some natural supplements, change my eating habit. Because we can't eat the same thing as we're aging.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

We can't. Yeah. Even though we're 35.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I'm saying? Even though we're 25. 32. Like you used to eat a cookie at 18. Wake up. Shredded.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Listen, eat a cookie today, you ain't.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Gonna be able to get them pans tonight.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right.

Where is the lie? No lies told.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So my thing, I had my PSA levels check. Prostate cancer, all that. Brothers, go get that stuff checked out, man. The average life expectancy of a Black man is 61.5 today.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

So young.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

12 years younger than our counterparts, white men, Life expectancy is 72.4.ish. I believe they're living 12 years longer.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So mental health is physical health.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And pursuing pace came from that. Because Bishop said, if you don't pace yourself.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You're not going to make it. And that's where that book came from. So I'm breaking down. What exhaustion do. I'm breaking down. How to find pace, how to be comfortable with pace. Because I think that there's a level of patience that you have to exude in pace. Because sometimes when we're pacing ourselves, we can feel like we're behind. Baby, I ain't chasing nothing.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

If it don't have a flow, I don't force it. I believe. I believe in flowing, not forcing. So that pursuing Pace, man, I'm so excited about this book. Like, when we. When we got on the call with Random House, Penguin. Random House, and they read the book proposal, they was like, jay, we need this book, like, yesterday.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right. So when are we getting it?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

2027.

They was like, we can't. They was like. They wanted to push it out to 2026, but they was like, 2027. But I think the timing of it, when it releases, it's gonna be perfect timing.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

You can't risk greatness. Like, you gotta take your time with that kind of stuff.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because by that time, Crystal, we would have been in this administration about two years. People gonna be looking for pace.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

We gonna need it.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So we gonna need it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But I'm excited about that book. But I share that to the brothers, man. And now my levels, like, I. I mean, like, Brennan's man got me to eat him. Right. He. He moved my diet to keto. And when I'm traveling. When I'm traveling, he was like, keto.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Man, did you get the keto flu? Like, you know how, like, people go keto?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

No. No, I don't.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

And their body, like, goes through this whole thing.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because when I did my blood work, my body responds better to fast.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Okay.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Like, responds better to fast. Avocado nuts and stuff like that. My body responds better to it. Okay. And that man, like. Because I'm like, I'm working out. And Dr. Jill said, your body's in a. In a fight or flight.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because when your stress levels are high, your body releases the hormone cortisol. So the cortisol makes you hold on to everything.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So you can be doing hours of cardio. That body's like, mm.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yep.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

That's why. Releasing that stress, because I had been holding on all of those men's stories.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And when I started releasing that thing, detoxing because I had to learn how to not take it home.

And it was so bad. One of my friends came to my house. I was just sitting on my floor crying. She's like. And she didn't even know what to say. I was like, man. Because I just was carrying all these men.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And it was just so hard. But now I got my system. I get off stage, baby. It stays right there.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I had some come home with me one night.

I had a. It was. It was a suicide spirit that a brother had on him. The spiritual folks would appreciate this. I have a gun in my closet. The spirit was so strong. I had to go in my closet because when I come off the road, I go in my office and I, you know, unpack clothes. That gun was in the closet. I was. I didn't want to go in the closet. The spirit was so strong, and I was wrestling with it because the thoughts were so evasive.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I mean, it was just like, everywhere I turned, I was just hearing this voice, man, I wouldn't grab that bless oil.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Come on.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I said, listen, I don't know who you came off of.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And I remember the brother. I could see the brother's face who was telling me that he came to the tour that night and he was planning on taking his life that night. And he came to the session that night just to see if what I was talking about worked.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Right.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So he gets relieved, and it's jump.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

On you, because that's a real thing now.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

That's a real thing.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's a real thing.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So I'm wrestling. I'm like. I called my mom, and by the time I called her, you know, she was asleep. She was so. And I know how to pray. So I'm like, man, I got that blessed oil, man. By the time she called me, I said, baby, I'm good now. Cause I couldn't sleep. I tried to lay down. And, man, that thing was wrestling, man. And my place overlooked some water, man. I opened the door, and it just allowed the air to come in. I said, listen, I don't know where you came from, but, Negro, you got to get up out of here because I got to go to bed. I got to go to bed, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And that thing broke. I anointed my door, my couch, my clothes. People don't realize these spirits. Mental health is so much spiritual.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

We often think, yeah, it's. This stuff is spiritual. You. Because you will see people.

Coming to therapy. I know in my. When I was practicing, and their entire face would change after the session because that thing would have been broken off of them.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes. Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because when that spirit get around some oil or get around something that's going to break it off of them and not something that's going to perpetuate it and feed it. And that's why it's hard for a lot of these people to break these. These emotional ties and these trauma bonds and these different ties that they have with people and experiences. It's because they're around and. Or they're in an environment that's feeding it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yep.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because if you feed that monster.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Listen. And you had to be very cognizant of what you're feeding, because I'm telling you, they'll creep up. You'll be thinking, I'm good. I'm good. And then like, whoa, where'd that come from? Yeah. And you just gotta be like, man, die daily to the flesh. Because they will pop up. They will pop up.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And listen, let me tell you something. I can be around somebody right now, and I can quickly discern they spirit ain't right. And I ain't gonna say nothing to you. Nothing. I'm just gonna go ahead and move around.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

You feel it? Yeah, yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

It's a disturbance.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

It is.

Okay. So remember when I said, do you feel like it? Like sometimes you can be around people, you feel that distaste. It's also. You get that same feeling when people's spirit isn't right. I can. It's Literally, like a something just ain't right. And you know, I don't like it. Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And you.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I have to stay away from people like that. I can't do it. But you feel it, Especially when you really tapped in with the Lord. He not even let them get too close to you. He's going to let you feel that. You'd be like, okay.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And then he's going to let your spirit discern it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And as I said, we all need to be operated with the level of sagacity, just sophisticated way of saying discernment.

[Lowe's Advertiser]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But we have to operate with that, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Absolutely.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Because there are some people that the enemy is planting.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah. Because they know your assignment. The devil know what God wants you. So he's like, oh. Oh, he really serious about the Lord. Oh, she really. Okay. So she's taking this series now. Like, I had her last year. She was straddling. I had her one foot in and one foot out. Oh. But she for real now. That's when he really be like, let me see how serious you are. And he will come at you. Listen, he tried to sneak in yesterday. I dropped my phone on my foot. I said, all right, Lord. I heard you. I said, good Lord. He'll get your attention real quick. Barefoot, too. That thing hurt. I said, I got it. But that dad looked creepy.

Listen, gotta get your attention real quick. I said, oh, I got it. I got it.

The devil be. No. Are you serious? I'm telling y', all, man.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Dude.

God, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

And it was so, like, I didn't have nothing in my hands. I was literally just walking to the bathroom, and the thought came in my phone went, bam. It's high. Oh, okay, now, that was too quick. I was like, got.

Was like one imposter.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You, mama.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Don't you do that.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I'm like, oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, my gosh, man. When I tell you our lives are so parallel, man. Jesus, man. Oh, my gosh. It's so parallel.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

No, seriously, it is, man. Cause, oh, it's been like, twin, where have you been? Like, I'm like, you two. It's like spider man. Like.

Oh, man. I have really enjoyed our conversation, man.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

This has been awesome, man. Thank you.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Thank you, thank you. In closing, I have one last question. Jay, how are you feeling today?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I'm feeling restored, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Good.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I'm feeling restored. I came here with my friend Crystal, and we were able to bless the good people. Hope something that was shared has inspired you, but I feel encouraged to meet a woman of your caliber. That's on this beautiful journey of blessing people, inspiring people, motivating them, all the things. But just to see a woman who's authentically herself in her vein and you're doing it with God. Oh, man, that's so, like, thank you. You know what I mean? That's so dope. And so I'm just. I just feel, you know, like I said, I feel like I can run on because.

You know, the past couple of weeks have been very challenging for me emotionally. And again, I'm not in a bad place. But emotionally, today, I feel like my tank has been filled, my cup has been filled, just to have a conversation with someone who gets it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Absolutely.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I feel amazing.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

And I love that you feel that way because a lot of times you can, like, feel somebody else up and you feel depleted, but I feel full as well, so thank you.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Oh, man. We were equally pouring today.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah. So this is great.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Amazing.

All right, so we're going to do positive outcomes. We haven't done this in a while, so we thought this would be a great time to do it with King, with Dr. J. Barnett. We got a doctor in the house, y'. All. He can really give us some good advice. Tammy Coleman writes, have you ever denied your faith due to it possibly affecting your career or role? Your walk with Christ is very encouraging and touches a lot of people. Have you ever struggled with accepting a role or opportunity because it didn't align with your faith? Or have you wanted to bring faith in God into a character? I was raised in holiness all my life. The struggle is real. Tammy, that is a great question. I've never denied my faith. I've always bring my faith into every character. Now I have denied a role because it did not align with my faith. There are certain things I just won't do. You know, I have my hard lines in the sand where these are the places I won't cross one. Because stuff lives out there forever. And now in the world of AI, they can take something and be like, wait, I didn't do that. And, like, did you or did you not? You know, because it looks so real now. You can't really tell. So I'm very mindful and cognizant of the things that I will allow to be seen on my body, on camera or the roles. I won't do anything demonic unless it is something that draws back to Christ. You know, like, I won't play films like that unless it has. It has to come back around and say that because we do deal with those demons are real.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Art Imitation Man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes. It's life. Yeah. So, like, I want to be really careful with that. I don't do, like, horror stuff. I want everything I do to have some type of redemptive story, you know, even certain roles I'm playing. I'm like, okay, like the movie I just did. What lesson are people taking from this? How are we changing lives? Yes, this is something that really happens, but the way it ends, it just kind of leaves us, like, that was horrific. But what message are we gonna give to them? So we end up changing the ending. But it's things like that, like, really having the input and saying, hey, when this thing goes black at the end and the credits roll, we want people to feel changed. So I'm really big on that. And also, yes, of course, bringing faith in God into a character. We just did this season nine of Sisters. Deval, who plays Zach, was going through something, and he had just lost a child on the show. And Fatima was trying everything. She tried to make his favorite tacos, and she tried to seduce him, like, all the things. And then finally she just looks up and she grabs the Bible and was like, this is what you need, you know? And those are the ways that we bring faith in God into the characters. But, yeah, definitely. But nothing is worth sacrificing or sabotaging my relationship with Christ over a role or anything. And that's something that I, even as I grow closer to God, just being, like, very aware of the roles that I take on. Because you're an actor as well, so you understand, like, sometimes, like, how you talk about, we empty ourselves and bring on so we can live fully in that character. Also, understanding certain characters, we just cannot take on because the soul doesn't know the difference. My mind don't either, you know, because when you really start, it's like, oh, so we crazy, you know?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Woo.

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[Chris Renee Hazlett]

All.

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[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Mmm.

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[Malcolm Gladwell]

I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Smart Talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO Arvind Krishna, and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business?

[Arvind Krishna]

My one advice to them Pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software 30% more productive today with the goal of being 70% more productive.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah. Wow.

[Arvind Krishna]

So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say you can leverage what we did. We are happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process. Because the biggest change is not technology is getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things.

[Malcolm Gladwell]

To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com smarttalks.

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[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Anything you want to add to that?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah, I. I just. The film that I have coming out next year, Harry Hines, I play a. It's two roles, and so one, I'm this loving husband who's trying to become a detective, but then it's an AI sci fi film. And so. But on the other end, I don't know that my wife was a part of this team because they basically planned to chip in me. To rehabilitate. To rehabilitate me. So when the character shifts back to who he really is, I'm basically this cycle psychopath.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Oh, wow. That's interesting.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So I took a lot of prayer, like, because, you know, I have a very, you know, gory scene of taking somebody's life. And. And he. Sedaris is. I mean, he's a killer, and he enjoys it. And, man, let me tell you, I had to pray about two weeks.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

After that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

After.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah. Because, you know, it was intense during the process. And it's a great film by Q and Kota team that I'm excited for people to see. Harry Hines is his famous street in Dallas where prostitution, drug, anything, you name it, you can find on Harry Hines.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Oh, wow.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So, yeah, it is a great film, but that. That is so real. And I took it because I wanted to be stretched, you know what I'm saying.

In my space of acting. So. But. But I'm with you, man. Like, just certain things that I'm not gonna do. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I just. You know, demonic stuff. Like, I just. Because when you think about. And, like, when you think about Aaliyah, Right. I always think about her role in the Queen of Damn.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yep. Like, and that was her last film.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

That was her last role.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Like, and I'm not saying that. You know, I'm not. Don't y' all take. I'm just saying, like, I. I would never forget that.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And. And I remember because I was a. A huge Aaliyah fan. Yeah.

[TJ Maxx Advertiser]

Same.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Gosh. I was a huge Aaliyah fan. Four page letter, man. Oh, my God.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I used to do the beat on the lunchroom table, man.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Listen, I could. Listen. I would write. Listen, I want to write a four page letter to somebody, man. Listen. Right now. But. But. But that thought always come to me, Crystal. Like, man. Cause just that art, Imitation of Life.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

It lives on, you know, it really.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I'll be thinking, what did you open the door to?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's real. What did you open the door to? Because we hear. We've heard so many actors say, like, I think Damson talked about it. Like, not that kind of scared me. I was like, you did what? Like inviting so that you can invite. No.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Because now you need deliverance.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

You gotta be real careful.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

I remember when I was. When. When Sedaris was having a scene and the director, cj, you know, they was asking me what I wanted to listen to. And I can remember my being on set because we filmed like seven straight days, 14 hour days. And I was listening to Scarface. The hands of a dead body. And I had to keep it on repeat to go into that space because.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Naturally, that's not who you are. Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Like. You know what I'm saying To. To just walk up to some joker and just ha. Yeah, like, like. And my poor mama, boy, she's like, boy, you always got me praying for something.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

You're like, mom, I need your prayer on something else now. Oh, my goodness.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah. So I like, that's why I rock with you, man. Because I respect what you represent and what you stand for. Because some people just like, just whatever role. And I'm like, go ahead.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I'll do whatever I got. Yeah. No. How can I serve the character? No.

No.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Cause like you said, we gotta go home at night.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

We have to go home at night.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Some of these stuff go home with you.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yes.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Ax Heath Ledger.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Exactly. And we can't now.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

You know what I'm saying? God rest his soul. Phenomenal actor. But. And he even talked about that role, man.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

It stays with you. Yeah. And that's so true. So, yeah, that's what I would. Tammy Coleman, thank you so much for writing in, but that was a great add on. Who do you have?

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So, Wes. Wes said, I had a mental breakdown five years ago during the pandemic. I didn't know what was happening to me. I sought therapy and was blessed to find two female therapists in the past five years. I have grown so much during that time, but I feel like something is still missing. Recently, I have been pondering if a male therapist would feel that missing piece. Not sure if it's the delivery or perspective. I would like to hear your advice on the difference when it comes to male and female therapists.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's good.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Oh, man. Wes, that's good. For one. I want to say. I want to. If you're a brother, you know, a man. Because again, people names west and.

One, I commend you on going to therapy and seeking out help. But I want to say if you Feel that you're still missing something. I think that may be an opportunity for you to explore. What do you feel that you're missing as it pertains to the identity of the therapist? Because sometimes I've seen therapists, like most of my clients were at one point in time, black females in the C suites. And they would come to me because a lot of times when they. They felt. When they were with another female therapist, they felt judged. They often felt not heard.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

And then sometimes it was triggering to either a mother wound or a sister wound. You know what I mean? If they had a bad experience with some woman that. You know what I mean?

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I do know. Yeah.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

So, Wes, it sounds like you may. And. And maybe the delivery from a male sort of close some gaps from some experiences that you had with the male or experience that you are looking to have. Because I know my therapist now is a female who I love, and I think that she's also pouring and helping me heal a different piece even in some other areas. You know what I mean? So. And then when I first started, I had a male that spoke to the son in me. So maybe what you're looking for is for some gaps to be closed as it pertains to where you are, you know, in your life as a man. If that's, you know, you know what you're looking for.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

I love that. That's so good. And I think it goes back to what you said, how you said you weren't with the same therapist that you had before. Sometimes it's good to change as you evolve. So if I feel like you're right, if he is missing something, he needs to first identify what that is he's missing and then try to move from that.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's great. Thank you guys so much for writing in. Continue to do that. We look forward to hearing what you have to say and the questions you have to ask. Let the people know where we can find you on socials, if there's anything we need to support you on. Let us know if you have something coming up that we didn't touch on.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

No, listen, King J. Barnett on Instagram X, if y' all still use it.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Facebook threads.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

But listen to my podcast, just heal with Dr. J on same network as my friend Crystal. The Black Effect.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Black Effect.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

It is an amazing podcast and I talk about all things healing, mental health. I mean, just an amazing space to dive deeper into conversations centered around mental health. New episode drops every Tuesday, and then you can watch visually on our. Just heal with Dr. J. On YouTube page.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

So awesome. Amazing. We'll definitely tap in with you. Thank you so much.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

Yes, man. This has been great.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

Amazing.

My goodness. Wow. That was such a powerful conversation and a reminder that healing doesn't mean perfection. It means being honest enough to start. Thank you guys so much for tuning into another episode of Keep It Positive Sweetie. Make sure to subscribe like and leave a review and also share this with someone who could use a little positivity in the meantime, in between time. Keep it positive sweeties. I'll see you guys next time.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

What a matchup we got, y'. All. This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chance echo drum beat. Everybody showing that school pride game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah. Crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there.

Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo no matter the sport, no matter the yard. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going. Ah. Greetings from my bath festive friends. The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money. Getting 5% cash back when I pay in 4. No fees, no interest. I used it to get this portable spa with jets. Now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruney body. Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal. Save the offer in the app ends 1231See paypal.com promoter terms points can be redeemed for cash and more. Pay in for subject to terms and approval. PayPal Inc. And MLS 910457Amazon Five Star Theater presents real customer reviews performed by Ed Helms. Tonight's Tactical jacket. I was living a simple life. Didn't get out much. Then I bought this jacket and everything changed. Women came flocking to me from lands domestic and foreign. On the 245 day sailboat voyage home, I was attacked by a shark. I knew it was the jacket he was after giving up the jacket in exchange for my life. 5 stars Amazon Customer 69 Shop the perfect gift this holiday on Amazon.

Janice Torres here and I'm Austin Hankwitz. We host the podcast Mind the Small Business Success Stories produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Intuit QuickBooks. We're back for season four to talk.

[Lowe's Advertiser]

To some incredible small business owners.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

The big thing about working at tech is that it's ever evolving, ever changing. Everyone's a rookie.

[Chris Renee Hazlett]

That's how fast the industry is changing. So what I'm really excited about is.

[Dr. King J. Barnett]

To be part of that change. So listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Get ready for your next TV obsession. All's Fair Starring Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Niecy Nash Betts, Teyana Taylor. With Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close. A team of fierce female divorce attorneys leave a male dominated firm to start their own. Filled with scandalous secrets and shifting allegiances both in the courtroom and within their own ranks, these ladies know that lawyers are a girl's best friend. Don't miss the two part season finale of All's Fair on December 9th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.