Keep it Positive, Sweetie

Episode: It's Always Us & Them w/ David & Tamela Mann
Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett
Guests: David & Tamela Mann
Date: January 5, 2025

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and laughter-filled episode, Crystal Renee Hayslett sits down with gospel power couple David and Tamela Mann to talk about the dynamics of balancing marriage, family, career, faith, and personal growth. The conversation offers raw honesty about vulnerability, health, mental wellness, the spiritual journey, show business, and the power of partnership through life’s challenges. From Tamela’s transparent reflections on her new album and the trials of caregiving to their candid discussion of relationship hurdles and the joy of healing, this episode serves as a genuine source of inspiration, healing, and practical wisdom.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Health, Self-Acceptance & Realness in the Spotlight

• Mental & Physical Health (02:47 – 07:58):
  • Tamela reveals her commitment to health starts “from the inside out,” emphasizing mental and spiritual well-being as the foundation for everything else.
  • Both Tamela and Crystal reflect on body image struggles and societal pressures, especially as public figures.
  • Tamela shares, “I honestly came into the world big...but I can't just ride, I realize...you can't make that an excuse. And you gotta just make better choices.” (06:13)
• Challenges with Public Exercise:
  • Tamela details her struggle with working out in public: “My wife. Can we take a picture? ...I'm trying to get myself right.” (07:29)
  • A humorous but real moment about privacy, shapewear, and her brand, Taylor Mann Collection (08:45 – 10:10).

2. Motherhood, Career, and Missing Milestones

• Balancing Family & Show Business (10:12 – 13:36):
  • Tamela recounts the pain of missing family moments due to touring and filming:
    “I just started crying. Cause my son had a game. My daughter was getting ready for the prom, but we were out doing the show.” (11:04)
  • She credits intentional family time at home as a way to reconnect and create meaningful traditions.

3. Caregiving, Dementia, and Legacy

• Caring for Her Mother (14:17 – 17:55):
  • Tamela opens up about caring for her mother with dementia, emphasizing patience, presence, and cherishing memories:
    “It is a reverse role of them becoming your...you become the parent...I pray for patience for it.” (14:38)
  • Touching on the emotional toll of dementia and encouraging listeners not to leave loved ones forgotten:
    “Don’t forget about them. Because you have to make sure that you put it in time...They may not even know you’re there, but you just talk to them as if they know.” (15:44)

4. The New Album: "Live, Breathe, Fight"

• Creative Process & Personal Inspiration (19:03 – 23:46):
  • Tamela describes her newest album as autobiographical, paralleling “how Taylor Swift talks about her life.”
  • The tracks address challenges, affirmations, and the journey from pain to purpose:
    “Even though you don’t see me working, I’m working for you. I’m working in your behalf.” (19:46) “This album is stuff not only for me, but this could bless His people.” (20:57)
  • Songs touch on God’s power, self-reflection, and resilience.

5. Marriage, Growth, and Partnership

• Authenticity in Relationship (27:00 – 29:53):

  • David underscores, “One thing we are most is we're working because we're a work in progress...We're 58 now. We're getting to ride...the result of all of that.” (27:00)
  • Open about growing together, changing with time, and always remaining accountable.

• Menopause, Change, and Understanding (28:19 – 33:09):

  • David humorously and lovingly discusses learning about menopause to better support Tamela:
    “I literally read an entire book on menopause.” (31:37)
  • Tamela brings humor and honesty to describing the challenges:
    “You could be happy. Then all of a sudden, it's like sadness...Not just the heat, but a sadness comes over your body.” (29:33)

• Boundaries and Deal Breakers (34:35 – 37:46):

  • Tamela stands by her value system in the entertainment industry:
    “Some things have been presented...in a script like they want us to curse. And I was like, that’s not where I’m going.” (34:58)
    • On cursing: “Nigga is my cousin.” (35:23)
      (Delivered humorously and with a sense of loving honesty about personal flaws and boundaries.)
  • Crystal chimes in about her own boundaries, highlighting the importance of self-awareness in maintaining authenticity.

6. Recovering as a Couple and Family Dynamics

• Dealing with Unexpected Family Developments (42:14 – 47:33):

  • Tamela candidly shares about discovering David had another child after their marriage and the pain of accepting blended family realities: “I was like, I don't know if I can do this.” (43:51)
  • David’s pivotal moment:
    “It’s me and you, and then it's them. It's everybody else. So he said, I’ll never put you out there where you have to make the decision...It’s always gonna be us and then them.” (45:15)
  • Both stress the necessity of a united front in marriage, with David ensuring Tamela always feels secure in their relationship.

• Navigating “In-Law” Boundaries (47:18 – 48:29):

  • Discussing the delicate balance of mothers-in-law and partners, David asserts:
    “You were the first woman in my life. She's the last lady in my life.” (47:20)

7. Self-Care, Individual Space & Mutual Support

• The Value of 'Me Time' (48:29 – 51:23):
  • Both appreciate being together, but Tamela occasionally needs solo time:
    “I'll go get my nails done...But I do, I have to have it.”
  • David relates learning this through therapy and taking small steps towards self-indulgence.

8. Mental Health & Therapy

• Seeking Help and Being Vulnerable (51:32 – 56:11):

  • David describes reaching a low point post-COVID, feeling depleted and learning the power of admitting, “I think I'm depressed.” (53:11)
  • Discussion on the importance of safe therapy matches and the impact of genuine communication.
  • “Part of the problem with me is I'm a fixer. Sometimes she don't need me to fix it. She just needs me to listen.” (56:30)

• Self-Love Practices (55:36 – 56:11):

  • Crystal shares a therapist’s advice: “When you get in the shower...take time to hug yourself...We're so busy loving on everyone else.” (55:36)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Growth and Change:
  “We literally grew up with each other, because there were some times where we were like, you're not good. You're not a good person.” — David Mann (27:18)

• On Marriage and Priorities:
  “It's me and you, and then it’s them. It's everybody else.” — David Mann (45:17)

• On Resilience Through Faith:
  “Even though you don’t see me working, I’m working for you. I’m working in your behalf.” — Tamela Mann (19:46)

• On Importance of Therapy and Vulnerability:
  “I finally broke down and told her. I said, look, I think I’m depressed.” — David Mann (53:11)

• On Patience in Caregiving and Legacy:
  “Don’t forget about them. Because you have to make sure that you put it in time...They may not even know you’re there, but you just talk to them as if they know.” — Tamela Mann (15:44)

• Memorable Humor:
  “You could be happy. Then all of a sudden, it’s like sadness, or it’s almost like...not just the heat, but a sadness comes over your body.” — Tamela Mann (29:33)

Timestamped Highlights

| Segment | Timestamp | |---------------------------|-----------------------------------------| | Health & Body Image | 02:47 – 08:45 | | Balancing Family & Career | 10:12 – 13:36 | | Caring for Elders | 14:17 – 18:21 | | New Album: Inspiration | 19:03 – 23:46 | | How They Stay Solid | 27:00 – 29:53 | | Menopause & Humor | 28:19 – 33:09 | | Values and Boundaries | 34:35 – 37:46 | | Recovering as a Couple | 42:14 – 47:33 | | ‘Me’ Time in Marriage | 48:29 – 51:23 | | On Counseling & Support | 51:32 – 56:11 |

Tone & Takeaways

This episode blends warmth, humor, and authenticity, true to the personalities of everyone at the table. David and Tamela’s honesty about the highs and lows of their relationship, family, and personal struggles make their wisdom approachable and actionable. The episode’s heart is its encouragement: whether weathering the storms or celebrating the wins, prioritize faith, patience, partnership, and self-love.

Final Message:
“You deserve to win. Quit fighting yourself and thinking that you're not good enough and that you don't deserve it. Because you deserve to win. If you put the time in, you deserve to have some good things...You deserve to have peace of mind in your heart, your spirit, and your body.”
— Tamela Mann (60:00)

Keep it positive, sweetie!