Keeping it 100 & Positive w/ KJ Smith

Summary

Podcast Summary: Keep It Positive, Sweetie

Episode: Keeping it 100 & Positive w/ KJ Smith
Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett
Guest: KJ Smith Black
Date: July 20, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode features actress and entrepreneur KJ Smith Black, best known for her role in “Sistas,” in an in-depth, vulnerable conversation with host Crystal Renee Hayslett. The discussion centers on KJ’s pregnancy journey, overcoming infertility diagnoses, maintaining faith in uncertain times, and the importance of authenticity—both on a public platform and in personal healing. The episode is a candid reflection on positive impact, self-acceptance, and navigating life in the public eye.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Pregnancy Journey & Body Changes

• KJ is in her seventh month of pregnancy and openly discusses the physical and emotional changes she’s experiencing.

• She emphasizes honoring her body and adapting to its daily transformations.

  • “I’m allowing. I’m not about to fight with this. I’m literally changing every day... this is a part of creating life and that’s cool.” — KJ Smith Black (01:38)

• KJ credits her ability to handle pregnancy while filming to support from her TV family and releasing control over her changing physical state.

• Physical challenges included severe acid reflux, motion sickness, gastrointestinal issues, and rapidly changing body size, sometimes requiring wardrobe improvisation on set.

  • “There are scenes where I’m literally behind my desk with my pants unzipped because the clothes no longer fit.” — KJ Smith Black (04:54)

• Her pregnancy is high-risk (“geriatric”), intensifying concerns over sleep and well-being during the demanding shooting schedule.

2. Struggles with Infertility and PCOS

• KJ candidly shares her experiences with being told by doctors she might be infertile due to PCOS and fibroids.
• She details her proactive approach: visiting fertility clinics, preparing for potential IVF, and healing her body holistically before trying to conceive.
  • “On the paperwork, it says infertile... The doctor, he said, you have plenty of eggs. He said, but you have this fibroid... it looks as if you would be infertile.” — KJ Smith Black (07:48)
• KJ highlights the importance of stress management, holistic health, and “going dark” (taking a break from public and professional commitments) to facilitate healing. She credits natural supplements and advice from TikTok for managing PCOS symptoms.
  • “For Black women, we have to release the stress. We cannot be everyone’s superhero. I went completely dark this summer...” — KJ Smith Black (09:12)
• KJ describes the joyous and surreal moment of discovering her pregnancy and how the timing wasn’t according to her plan, but ultimately divine.

3. Faith, Purpose, and Public Vulnerability

• The journey challenged—and ultimately deepened—her faith, teaching valuable lessons about surrendering to a higher purpose and relinquishing control.
  • “I realized... I have never given God the glory, like publicly... A part of me felt like being a free spirit did not give me the authority to talk about my relationship with God...” — KJ Smith Black (16:56 & 17:45)
• KJ reflects on her past hesitation to publicly express her spirituality due to fears of not being “worthy” or being judged for her authentic self.
• She acknowledges the transformative effect of faith and reveals her new commitment to transparency and giving credit to God for her blessings.

4. Navigating Fame & Maintaining Authenticity

• Both KJ and Crystal discuss the psychological impacts of fame—losing oneself, anxiety, and finding one’s voice amid heightened public scrutiny.
  • “I lost myself... I was trying to be what people wanted me to be. I played this attorney on television, so I wanted to make sure I was always pulled up and articulate...” — KJ Smith Black (20:52)
• KJ recounts feeling pressure to conform to public and industry expectations, “calculating” every move, and the turning point in reclaiming her authentic self.
• The conversation addresses the emotional toll of social media criticism and the protective walls that arise as a result.
  • “There was a point where I hit rock bottom... My wedding was one of them. That was me being like, I’m gonna be me... Then people kind of made it something ugly, and it was like the happiest day of my life.” — KJ Smith Black (24:29 & 26:24)

5. Resilience, Kindness, and Community

• The importance of owning one’s journey, teaching boundaries, and not seeking external validation is emphasized.
  • “I’m not about to open my wound to justify my joy to you... You can choose to be nice to me or you can choose to not be in my life. Because I’m gonna be nice to you regardless.” — KJ Smith Black (37:54 & 38:01)
• KJ and Crystal underline the significance of kindness and empathy, regardless of personal struggles or triumphs—especially in the entertainment industry.
• Both reflect on early career hardships and the perseverance required to arrive at their current success.

6. Love Story: Meeting Her Husband Sky

• KJ recounts meeting her now-husband, Sky, on the set of “Sistas,” and how their connection grew during the isolating “COVID bubble.”
• She shares the pivotal moment she knew he was her life partner, discussing positive relationship boundaries and self-worth.
  • “Our first date, I was like, so are you, like, available for the rest of your life? Cuz you’re mine.” — KJ Smith Black (51:33)

7. Legacy and Impact

• The episode closes with a discussion about legacy, mentorship, and impact on the next generation.
• KJ is honest about not having all the answers, choosing to wait for spiritual guidance regarding her life’s impact.
  • “I am asking God that question right now... And I’m gonna wait for the answer. I’m not going to create my own answer. I’m going to wait on it.” — KJ Smith Black (55:06 & 55:47)

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• “What would you do if you knew that you could not fail? Go ahead, get your journal and write that vision and go ahead and make it plain...”
  — Crystal Renee Hayslett (00:02)

• “I feel good. Really excited and energized.”
  — KJ Smith Black (01:04)

• “I was trying to be what people wanted me to be... I lost myself.”
  — KJ Smith Black (20:52)

• “On the paperwork, it says infertile. My husband was fine... But you have this fibroid.”
  — KJ Smith Black (07:48)

• “For Black women, we have to release the stress. We cannot be everyone’s superhero. I went completely dark this summer...”
  — KJ Smith Black (09:12)

• “TikTok girlies were right. I went on TikTok and I started taking wild yam, using wild yam cream... and that also shifted. I started having easier cycles.”
  — KJ Smith Black (09:59)

• “I can honestly say it didn’t happen until this miracle... My purpose is bigger. I can’t control when or what happens in my life... Everything is on God’s time.”
  — KJ Smith Black (19:19 & 20:00)

• “I’m not about to open my wound to justify my joy to you... You can choose to be nice to me or you can choose to not be in my life. Because I’m gonna be nice to you regardless.”
  — KJ Smith Black (37:54 & 38:01)

• “Our first date, I was like, so are you, like, available for the rest of your life? Cuz you’re mine.”
  — KJ Smith Black (51:33)

• “I am asking God that question right now... And I’m gonna wait for the answer.”
  — KJ Smith Black (55:06)

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Notable Moments & Timestamps

• KJ’s Pregnancy Physical Challenges (03:53–06:23)
• KJ Receiving an Infertility Diagnosis (06:45–08:53)
• Holistic Healing for PCOS (08:54–10:51)
• The Raw Story of KJ Finding Out She's Pregnant (11:00–15:30)
• Faith Journey and Surrender (16:02–20:11)
• Losing & Reclaiming Authenticity in Fame (20:36–24:29)
• Responding to Public Criticism and Social Media (27:44–34:46)
• Reflecting on Early Career Struggles (36:39–38:48)
• Meeting and Dating Sky, Falling in Love (46:13–53:10)
• Legacy and Waiting for God’s Guidance on Impact (54:28–57:23)

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Closing Thoughts

The conversation is genuine, encouraging, and full of practical wisdom for anyone navigating self-worth, transitions, or pressure—whether in the public eye or in everyday life. KJ’s transparency about her journey, both personal and professional, is an inspiring reminder to trust the process, honor oneself, and keep it positive, sweetie.

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For more uplifting, honest conversations, tune in to Keep It Positive, Sweetie with Crystal Renee Hayslett every week.

Transcript

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Calling all my sweeties to the forefront, I'm your host, Chris Renee Hazel, and this is the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. Hey, sweeties. I am so happy that you are back with me for another episode. And while I have you here, I want you to lean in real quickly. Is this thing on? Just real quick, I have a question for you. What would you do if you knew that you could not fail? Go ahead, get your journal and write that vision and go ahead and make it plain, because it's just as simple as that. Our guest today is my sister, y'.

[KJ Smith Black]

All.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

She is a wife, a glowing mommy, and an actress and an entrepreneur. You might know her from, I don't know, a show named Sistas. Playing a character named Andy Barnes. Kiss family. Please welcome our sister, KJ Smith Black.

[KJ Smith Black]

Hey, Crystal. Hey, girl.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Hey, girl.

[KJ Smith Black]

Hey.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I'm so happy to have you here today.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm happy to be here. It feels good.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

You look good. You know, we like to make it feel like home here.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes, it does.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Thank you. How are you feeling?

[KJ Smith Black]

I feel good. I feel good. Really excited and energized.

[Felicia]

Good.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I feel that. I feel. When you walked in, you don't look like you're.

[KJ Smith Black]

What.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

What month are you in now?

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm going into my seventh month. Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Oh, my goodness.

[KJ Smith Black]

In two days, it'll be seven months.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Two days. You look amazing. I was telling you when you walked in, I said, I hope that if I ever get pregnant that I wear just. You're all belly. You know, some people, I feel like I'm going to blow up in the face. My arms, everything you want.

[KJ Smith Black]

You know why? Because you train your fit. You know what I mean? It's all going to go where it's supposed to go.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I like that.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Because they definitely went where it's supposed to go.

[KJ Smith Black]

I receive that. Yes, I receive that. And also, I'm trying to honor my body and everything that's happening. Like, it's so much change. I'm just like, whatever happens.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm allowing. I'm not about to fight with this. I'm literally changing every day. It's a new something, a new bump, a new rash, a new something. And I'm just like, this is a part of creating life and that's cool.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

It is, yeah.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I love that you're adapting to it and you're owning it.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I love that. The last time I saw you, we were filming Sisters and it felt like overnight. Like when you first came, it was just like a little bump and we were able to Hide it. And then you came back over the weekend. We were like, what happened?

[KJ Smith Black]

And I was like, oh, yes, I'm ready. Action. Let's go.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes. That was crazy. But watching you do that, kj, was so inspiring because you are like, you're our girl. Like, you're the one that. You're everywhere on the show. You know, a lot of us, like, get time off. KJ does not get time off. Like, she's at everybody's house. She's handling. Putting fires out for everyone. So to see you handle it with so much grace, it inspired me, because a lot of times I think I make an excuse. Well, I don't have time to get pregnant. But seeing you do it out there was a little. A little part of me was like, I could do this.

[KJ Smith Black]

You can do it.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

You really inspired me.

[KJ Smith Black]

I received that because I honestly, I was. I felt the same way. I was like, I don't have time. Where is the time? What people don't see is in between us shooting our show, we have our own endeavors. We're entrepreneurs. We are doing life as well. And so it's like we're creating outside of being on set.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

And so I felt the same way. I felt like I don't have time or I'm not equipped or I don't know what I'm doing. I had a lot of doubt before sky and I decided to get pregnant. And, you know, I'm telling all my friends, I. I'm trying to recruit. Okay. I'm starting to recruit a program, and I need you to be on my list because you, of all people, can do it. I've seen you do so, so, so many amazing things. And you absolutely can do it.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I feel like I'm a mom to a lot of people.

[KJ Smith Black]

You are now. Now that I had to fix, because I am, too. And I've had to transmute that energy and kind of recall my energy.

[Felicia]

Wow.

[KJ Smith Black]

From mothering people, mostly adults.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I've had to recall a lot of energy, and that doesn't really bode well with some people, but I had to do it because I'm like, I have to do this thing. This is the most important thing in.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

My life right now. Absolutely. Absolutely. What were some of the challenges that you faced during filming? And this is a new era that you're walking in.

[KJ Smith Black]

My biggest bout was acid reflux, motion sickness, just gastrointestinal issues, wanting to purge in the middle of a scene, or, you know, clothes being. You know, on Monday, I'll be a certain size and then by Wednesday, I'm a different size.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Remember that one outfit?

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I had to unzip. I'm behind my desk, y'.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

All.

[KJ Smith Black]

There are scenes where I'm literally behind my desk with my pants unzipped because the clothes no longer fit.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yeah, you're growing.

[KJ Smith Black]

Absolutely. And I think having the crew that we work with made it easier because we're with people we trust with people we've been working with forever. So everyone was like, it's okay. You need more water? Do you need a moment? Do you need. You know, people were helping me out. We had that scene where I had to lay on the ground.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Oh, my.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I was like.

[KJ Smith Black]

We did that like, eight times.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Eight times.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I was like. And all, you know, the men came and they helped me. And Miyon, she was a part of the Help me lay down, and everybody was helping me get up. So I think being with our family made it easier. But the physical challenges, there was nothing really I can do about it but try to get, you know, we don't get sleep.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

We don't get sleep.

[KJ Smith Black]

And so I was really concerned a lot because with this pregnancy, it's a high risk pregnancy. It's a geriatric pregnancy. And so for me, I was on edge while we were shooting because I'm not sleeping eight hours, and they recommend 10 to 12.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

What?

[KJ Smith Black]

And I'm not even sleeping eight. So for me, I'm going to work and I'm a little worried, but I had to kind of release that. But I'm worried because they're telling me that sleep is the most important thing for this time. So there was a little bit of concern, but mostly it was the physical. My own physical things. But our team made it a lot easier.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Absolutely.

[KJ Smith Black]

Because they're so nice.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

They are. It's really like one big happy family at tps.

[KJ Smith Black]

It really is.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I can imagine that we've had candid conversations about just. And you've talked about it as well, about the doctors telling you you were infertile in this journey of even knowing if you could have children. Can you share with us some of the things that you've been through to get to this?

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes. And I really. I'm so happy that you have me here because I watch your show and I imagine that other women who are like me watch your show, and these are other women who feel the way I feel, which is, it's too late for me, or my doctor told me I can't. And as a woman who I have pcos, I have Fibroids. I'm later on in life. And so every doctor I went to were like, ah, you have fibroids on the uterus. You know, you're going to have an issue with getting pregnant or you may not be able to get pregnant. You have pcos. The number one symptom of PCOS is infertility. And then I started going to the fertility clinic before my husband and I even started trying to get pregnant. Really?

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

Because I'm a type A person, so I'm like, I have to plan an advance. I have to make sure that we can do this before we even start.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

We go to the doctor, we test him, we test me. He's like, you know, you have plenty eggs. It's fine.

[Felicia]

Wow.

[KJ Smith Black]

But you have this fibroid, and on the paperwork, it says infertile. On the paperwork, it says infertile. My husband was fine. Yeah, my husband was fine. Hey, I use my hands, right? My husband was absolutely fine. So he was fine. But. But the doctor, he said, you have plenty of eggs. He said, but you have this fibroid. And he said, it looks as if you would be infertile. He said, let's get you in here for ivf. And so this was like, November, January this year. January this year. We had a schedule because I was like, I'm going to do after holidays. I was told that it causes, like, hormonal changes, et cetera. And so I was like, oh, I'm going to do my IVF journey after the holidays. Now, mind you, we hadn't even started, like, really trying and committing to trying.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

And over the summer, I had committed to healing my pcos because.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

How did you do that? I know there's a lot of black women that absolutely.

[KJ Smith Black]

Oh, yes. Oh, please, yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Teach us.

[KJ Smith Black]

I was going to say. I was like, literally, I want to write down everything I did. I started taking a supplement called Inositol. And this is just for me.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I started taking a supplement called Inositol. I started taking a lot more magnesium. I started incorporating that into my diet. And for black women, we have to release the stress.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

We cannot be everyone's superhero. I went completely dark this summer. I was. I went dark this summer. I said, listen, I'm off the grid. Do not call me. Do not ask me to go to any event. No red carpet, no work. I don't want to do any of that because I have to heal my body. Apparently, I had been operating with high cortisol levels for. For. I don't even know how many years? So I've been operating at fight orf flight for years. For years. Didn't even know I'm any little thing. I'm high strung.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And that has all changed because of the supplements that I started to incorporate in my life and in my diet. And I'm not going to hold you now. The TikTok girlies were right.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

The TikTok.

[KJ Smith Black]

TikTok girlies were right. I went on TikTok and I started taking wild yam, using wild yam cream, putting it on my wrist, putting it on the top of my belly. And that also shifted. I started having easier cycles.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

The facial hair, those, those types of issues started to go away. Listen, I'm gonna keep it 100, keep it positive, sweetie. We're gonna keep it 100 and positive. There we go. And so that I spent the whole summer just trying to heal my body, trying to heal myself, trying to heal my mind. And it worked. And then I didn't, I honestly didn't even feel prepared to have a baby before that. And, and then I started overthinking about, oh, now it's time to have a baby. Now it's time to have a baby. Now it's time to have a baby. I'm gonna call a fertility doctor. Like just going. Re. Reverting back to high strong.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

So, but yeah, that, that's, that's largely a part of my journey. January 19th, we found out that we were pregnant.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Now what was that moment like?

[KJ Smith Black]

Oh my God, I gotta send you the video.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Oh, please, I gotta send you.

[KJ Smith Black]

I, I had just took my weave down. I just took my hair out and you know, I gotta be cute. Okay. I'm wearing my natural hair now lately. But you know, I used to be a weave girl.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Honey.

[KJ Smith Black]

Okay. I used to be weave down.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Honey, listen.

[KJ Smith Black]

So I had just took my, my weave out and I was like, oh, I'm gonna wash my hair. It's gonna be a self care day. And I had gotten in the habit of taking a pregnancy test because we started in November. So I got in the habit of, you know, taking a pregnancy test. And so I was like on the phone with my cousins. There's eight of us on a call every Sunday. I'm on the phone with my cousins for six to eight hours.

[Felicia]

Wow.

[KJ Smith Black]

They're mine. They're my besties. And so I'm on the phone with them casually and you know, the phone's on mute. We do this all the time. So I have them on my headphones. I'm taking A. I take a pregnancy test, and, yeah, I'm in the shower washing my hair, and I said, oh, wait, I gotta check my test. And I had gotten into the habit of just being casual about it because they told me it was gonna take six months to get pregnant. I was planning on starting. I had a plan, friend. I had a plan, okay? I had a plan on getting started in November so that by the time we had finished filming, I would be pregnant. And. And I can just have time. Yes. Yes, exactly. I would have time off.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

God said, make a plan.

[KJ Smith Black]

God said, listen.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

And so I was washing my hair, and I casually looked. I kind of just looked out of the shower and looked at the pregnancy test. Because it's a certain time. I think you're supposed to. And don't quote me on this. I think you're supposed to look at it, like, after five minutes, but not after, like, 10, okay? So, like, at five minutes, I was kind of like, oh, wait, I gotta check my pregnancy test. So I looked, and he said, positive. And I went, whoa. And mind you, I got my cousin on speakerphone in the shower, and I go. I just scream because I'm dramatic. And my cousin's like, what? You know, because my cousin's ride for me. They're like, what happened? What's going on? Do I need to come up there? What's happening? I'm in LA at the time, right? They're all in Florida, right? Where are you gonna go?

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And how fast are you gonna get?

[KJ Smith Black]

How are you gonna get here? What are you gonna do? What? Excuse me. So I'm screaming to the top of my lungs, and they're like, what is happening? I get out of the shower. Mind you, my hair is wet. I still got the shampoo in my hair. My body's wet, my fingers are wet. I'm trying to turn the camera on to them, put on a robe, show them the pregnancy test, because I cannot even talk.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Oh, my God.

[KJ Smith Black]

So between crying and screaming and my cousins panicking.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Because I put them in that state of being. I am wet all over. And I am just, like, fumbling with the phone. It was something out of a movie. I can't even make it up. And I finally, like, dry my hands, show them the pregnancy test. They all have kids. Most of them. A lot of them have kids. And they were like, oh, my God. So we're on the phone celebrating.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

Sky just got back. He was working. I'm sorry.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

This is a lot of great surprise.

[KJ Smith Black]

No, this is good. He was working. He had just got back from. From all the Queensland. So he was in the guest bedroom taking a nap. So that wouldn't bother him because I was in the primary suite.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

And so I'm screaming. They're like, you gotta tell Sky. And I was like, no, I have a plan. I have a plan. Where's my videographer? Where is Dragon? I'm like, you wonder where my videographer is? Because I'm like, I need to document this moment.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes, girl.

[KJ Smith Black]

But God.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

The whole situation was. But God.

[Felicia]

Wow.

[KJ Smith Black]

He's in the bed, sleep. Don't know nothing. Didn't hear a peep. I'm screaming, this guy's a hard sleeper. Celebrating with my family. And we come up with this little plan where I tell him to get the. Get something out of the oven. And I'm like, oh, no, it's not a bun. This is it. I have a bun in this oven. And it's like, you know.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

That's cute.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah. So, you know, I took a couple tests before I showed him, just in case.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yeah. Just make sure.

[KJ Smith Black]

Let me take some extra. Extra test.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Just in case they were all positive. Like, super positive. And so he's. You know, he's always wanted to be a father, so he was elated.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I can imagine.

[KJ Smith Black]

It was amazing.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I know. It was.

[KJ Smith Black]

It was fantastic. I'm sorry for the long one.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

No, no, I asked. I wanted to be taken to that moment. And you took us there.

[KJ Smith Black]

Okay, good.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

That was good. Thank you.

[KJ Smith Black]

I think it was my first time telling that story.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Oh, wow.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Hips exclusive.

[KJ Smith Black]

Kips exclusive.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I love it.

[KJ Smith Black]

Next week on Sisters.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

That's what it reminds me of. Right, Right. Exactly. You gotta watch it live. Going through all that, I'm really interested to know, like, what toll that took on your faith to get to that point of joy, you know? Cause I know there had to be doubts. There had to be fear.

[KJ Smith Black]

Oh, my gosh. It took my faith to a whole nother level. I mean, listen. And I didn't even realize how doubtful I was. I didn't realize how weak my faith was. I'm gonna be honest with you. I was telling my executive, Felicia, this today. I was like, you know what I just realized? I said, of all the interviews I've done, of all the press I've done. I mean, been acting a long time. It's been a lot of interviews. It's been a lot. Especially with our show. With the success of it. It's interviews all the time. Which I love.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Well, I love now.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I used to be Way too anxious to enjoy it because I was such a perfectionist. Now, now I'm like, what you wanna talk about? Let's, let's talk.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

But I was telling her, I said, you know, I was looking back at some old stuff of me and I was like, I have never given God the glory, like publicly.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I'm like, I'm always a big.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Part of your life, right?

[KJ Smith Black]

He was part of my life. And I'm a believer. And I feel like, you know, I felt there was a part of me that just, I don't know, I just felt like there was a part of me that felt like that was for someone else to do. Maybe someone more proficient, someone who knew the Bible back and forth you thought was worthy or someone who I thought was worthy. I mean, you know me, I was wild. Now listen, Crystal. No, we ain't gonna have no secrets. We give it 100 right here. I was wild. A free spirit. You understand? She knows it.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

That's why she laughing.

[KJ Smith Black]

She laughing because it's true.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

So free. I was like, if I could only be as free as kj.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes. And, and you know, and I, and I love that. And a part of me felt like being a free spirit did not give me the authority to talk about my relationship with God because I feel like people would judge that. They would be like, but you, you like to dance and you like to go to parties and you like to have parties and things like that. And I'm like, I'm still a God loving woman and a child of God and a child of God. And I feel like God loves dancing as well. Dance?

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Like who? Dance, David.

[KJ Smith Black]

Hello. Exactly. So I think there was a part of my life and my worthiness that I had to overcome with my relationship with God. And Felicia said something really poignant. She said, God is gonna make it so that you have to make him a part of your story. And I received that because no one asked me about it, so I didn't bring it up.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And then people assume that I am, I am a. On my knees, journaling, praying.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

I don't play about God and God don't play about me. You think these blessings just, just coming out of thin air, right? No. And I know they don't. And, and so, you know, I had. It just dawned on me and I, you know, I prayed before even coming on here. I said, God, what would you have me to say?

[Felicia]

Yep.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Every time I leave my house before I come here, I say that.

[KJ Smith Black]

And that's how I move all the Time.

[Felicia]

Yeah, that's good.

[KJ Smith Black]

What would you have me to do? What would you have me to say? And I can honestly say it didn't happen until this miracle.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Because I'm like, oh, my purpose is bigger. I can't control when or what happens in my life.

[Felicia]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

Because I tried to control this.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I don't know why, girl. Amateur hour. But I. I couldn't control it. And I was like, wait, that's not the plan. I'm supposed to get pregnant in April.

[Felicia]

Right.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Or.

[KJ Smith Black]

Or after my birthday, May 6th. Right. I don't want to be pregnant on my birthday. I want to turn up. No.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

But, you know, God was like, no, it's on my time.

[Felicia]

It is.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I have learned the lesson. I'm tired of relearning that lesson.

[Felicia]

Yeah, you got it now.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm tired of relearning that lesson. Yeah, girl. Everything is on God's time. And I'm tired of trying to control. I'm trying. I'm trying to. I'm. I'm not even trying. Releasing is easy, actually. It's easier than I thought it was.

[Felicia]

It is.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yeah. I'm proud of you for that. I remember meeting you. I want to say 2018 when you did 17. Was it 17? We did Madea's family funeral, and you were just this bright, bubbly, free spirit. And then we met in 2000. We got reacquainted in 2019 when sisters got picked up, and you were still that same girl. And then there was this transition that turned into this very calculated kj.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Where you didn't speak like yourself, and we talked about this. I was like, you ain't even talking. Like, KJ Agreed. And you got to a point, you're like, I'm getting back to me. What was that transition? And what were you going through when you. Are you just trying to figure out your. Your lane in this industry or who you were in this industry and your boys.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah. I lost myself.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

That's a real thing.

[KJ Smith Black]

I. I completely lost myself. I. I was trying to be what people wanted me to be. I. I played this attorney on television, so I wanted to make sure I was always pulled up and articulate, and I wouldn't sit like this.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

I would be. If I did an interview where we poised.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I would.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

We're good. Am I.

[KJ Smith Black]

Am I. Is everybody? And I would. And I would change my voice, and I would shift.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I am a Southern girl from Tallahassee, Florida.

[Felicia]

Come on.

[KJ Smith Black]

And yes. I've done the articulation. Classes and things like that, but that girl is still there, and the bass in my voice is still there. You know what I mean? And so I would. I would turn on, like, if we had done this interview and that's what. God's time.

[Felicia]

Yep.

[KJ Smith Black]

We had done this. Even when you first started it, I. I don't even know if I was myself.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yeah, no, not at the time. No.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah, no, I was. I was a different person.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I. And at some point, I didn't even recognize myself. And I think you. I hit. I think you hit the nail on the head. I was trying. Trying to find myself in this energy industry. We had gone from anonymous. I don't know how you did it. You. I mean, you did it flawlessly, in my opinion. And maybe because you. I don't know. I don't know how you did it, but for me, oh, my gosh, I just was like. I felt blindsided. In a good way.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Like, by the success and the fame of the show. And, you know, it was one time, I think the shift was we went to Mardi Gras when we went and saw Essence Festival. Essence Festival, Yes. And. And we went out in the public, in. At the parade. Yeah. And people were like, I know you, Andy, Andy, Andy. And I was like. And it just went. And I was like, whoa, whoa, what is going on?

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And then for that, you know, I think from that time until I would say even right now, just right now, most recently, maybe the last, like I said, the summer, because I had to learn how to. I had to get some hormones and listen, ladies, get your hormones checked. Yes, Hormones change over time. Get your hormones checked. I had to get my hormones checked because things were kind of out of whack. I had to figure out what was going on with my emotions. I had to figure out why I had high cortisol levels, why I had high estrogen levels. Everything is not glittering gold. Sometimes there's things going on inside. And listen, I would love to still be that one same young 21 year old, but my body's changing, my life.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Is changing, and everybody's is.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

That's so good, kj.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes. So I. I'm going through these hormonal changes, and then I'm also having a very public experience. And so I did become. I tried to get controlling and calculating it. This is gonna make sense, and this is good, and this is my brand, and this is what I stand for, and this is what I want to look like. And this, you know, and some things are true to Me, like, I still want to be cute.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Always.

[KJ Smith Black]

I still want to be cute.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

And lay leggings and socks, and that's who I am, and that's okay. But I do not want to be overthinking. I do not want to be stressed out. I do not want to be false. I don't want to be inauthentic. And, I mean, you hit the nail on the head. I absolutely was lost.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And when you. I think you took a break from Instagram, you came back on, and I said, that's my kj. That's my girl. And I was like, she got it.

[KJ Smith Black]

You're right.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

What was that like? Ah, I can't do this anymore. Was there a moment or anything that made it click?

[KJ Smith Black]

Girl, I hit rock bottom. Child. You already know. You already know. You already know. You know.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

They notice up here. Why are you doing it?

[KJ Smith Black]

We got our inside jokes, y'. All.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I just spilled this down my whole shirt.

[KJ Smith Black]

You good?

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I'm great.

[KJ Smith Black]

Okay, Good, good, good.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

You'll never know.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

If it looks like I got boobs swept, it's just water.

[KJ Smith Black]

It's water. Everybody be all right. Yeah, I. I think, you know, I got to the point where we had to. When did it. When did. I was like, oh, wow. I've had a few pivotal moments in my life that we've all. You know that you've been there with me during those times.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

My wedding was one of them. And that was a. That was a very, very specific low for me because I. I had. Yeah. Cause I. I did something I wanted to do. I did something I wanted to do.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I did something the way I wanted to do it. And it went.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I feel, kj, like, that was me. It felt like you.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

That was me being like, I'm gonna be me. The bachelorette party. That was me.

[Felicia]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

That was what I was.

[KJ Smith Black]

I was like, that's me. That's my style. That's who I am. That's authentic to me. And it got so much coverage, and I don't think that I have. I. I'm fine with the way people speak about my character. But then when people start speaking about you as a person, person is different. And I started. I was like, whoa, what's going on? Like, I love this about myself. I love this experience I had. Now, we did have some. Some issues. Weddings are weddings, you know, but we did have some. Some particular issues. But the wedding, overall, my husband and I curated that to do what we wanted to do.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

And then people kind of made It. Something ugly. And it was like the happiest day of my life.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

And so I was like, whoa, There's a disconnect between, you know, me and the people that. Opinions I value.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

You know, Or. Or in fans and. And people who I don't really know.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

As well. Is all these things.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

All these things. And. And when you have these major events, people have. They want to. Right now, they tell me, this is what you need to do for your baby. This is how you raise it. This is what you do. You make sure you spank that baby. You make. And don't sleep with that baby. You make sure that I'm like, everybody relax. I'm gonna do what I wanna do.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Period.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm gonna do what I wanna do.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Goodness.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I don't. And I mean that with the most love and care in my heart. And now that I'm back in alignment with my. My source.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

Now that I'm back in alignment with God, I can trust myself.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right?

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Everything gonna be. We good over here? We Gucci. But, yeah. I think around the wedding time, that's when I said, I cannot be connected to people's. And that's when I started to see the shift that was in 2023. And I was like, okay, I have to. I have to figure out how to understand who I am.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Own who I am. Be proud of who I am. Trust that.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

And stand in that without trying to acquiesce to what's cool, what's trendy or what people think. Because I'll do something I love for myself.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And then I'm talking about back in the day, not now. Back in the day. I'll do something I absolutely love for myself, and then I'll read a comment that makes me so. It hurts me so bad. And I'll be like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have done that. Okay. Next time I'm gonna do this. It's like, excuse me. Excuse your part. Now I write a comment back. Like, excuse me, ma'. Am. I'm grown. Who you think you talk to?

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

Keep it positive, sweetie. Tell them, keep it positive, sweetie.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

Like, for real. Everybody relax.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I remember even, like, when I became famous or whatever. I still don't. People could ask me, are you the.

[KJ Smith Black]

You're mad famous. No, you're mad famous. Own it. I'm gonna gas you up. You're super famous.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I love you, Fred.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes. Go ahead.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I was on a plane, and her daughter recognized me, and the mom was, like, sitting next to Me, she goes, excuse me, are you a famous person? I was like, I guess so. It was. Still doesn't click, you know, no way. Still no, like crystal. I know it like when people see me and stuff, but like when people ask me, like I've never had anybody ask me, are you famous? You know, to like answer that. Yeah, it felt weird to say. I kind of.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I mean, I don't know, what do you recognize me from? You know, it's just weird. But she was actually really dope. But I remember before, like we've gotten this fame that I didn't care about, you know, nobody had. Whoever was following me, wanted to follow me because they genuinely loved me and like they were supporters of me. So it was all love. And then we get this platform. We're on everyone's televisions in their living rooms. They welcome us into our home. And then it becomes this like, obsession and this ownership of us. And I felt like everything that I did was under a microscope. And I would like read every comment and it would literally, it would, how you say to her? It would hurt my feelings. Then I would start second guessing things and I would start saying, well, maybe I just won't post anymore. I was just second guessing my entire life in every move. And it does like change your way of thinking, the way you move, the way you even entertain people. You know, it kind of puts you kind of. Because you don't know who's who.

[KJ Smith Black]

It's like, absolutely.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Put a wall up, girl.

[KJ Smith Black]

Come on now. Are we gonna talk about it?

[Chris Renee Hazel]

We gonna talk about it?

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

The wall, the wall.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

It's a real wall that comes with this that we didn't even know. I don't know if we.

[KJ Smith Black]

I had no clue.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

And now it's like, oh, my friend, I'm. I'm gonna come over. I'm bringing my friend. No, you're not. No, you're not.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

No, no, you're not.

[KJ Smith Black]

No, you're not. They have not signed the NDA. This is my home. This is my sacred space.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Come on, NDA. I don't say that. Yes, everybody comes to my home.

[KJ Smith Black]

We're in that space. We're in that space. God, thank God. Yes, I am grateful for that. But it does come with this protection for yourself. Yourself. You know, I received that.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I don't know how you did it, girl.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

It was hard.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And you say I handle it gracefully, but it. There was many days where I was sitting home just like sad and like not feeling my best self. People still talk crazy about Me, you know, and I'm just like, oh, whatever. And what really irks me is I don't go looking for that stuff. It's the people that tag me in it to let me know and they're trying to like, say like somebody needs to block this person because they're talking bad about you. But I would never have seen it if you didn't tag me on it. You were intentional about making sure I saw this to know that I got a big nose. I know that you didn't have to tag me on that.

[KJ Smith Black]

Your nose is perfect as is fine. We love a contour. It's not the wrong.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

But I like that concert off.

[KJ Smith Black]

It's still perfect.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Thank you. But you know, like, it's one of those things like they like highlight and make sure that you see everything. It's like I'm so busy. I'm not looking for that. But then when I go look at my mentions to like repost people that I that are support me, then I'm seeing the. The filth and the messiness and all that.

[KJ Smith Black]

And it's just like, baby, I'm a warrior in the army of the Lord. You understand? I will block you so fast. I got my sword and shield and I'll go to war in case I need to.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

I don't. I don't. I don't play those types of games.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I love.

[KJ Smith Black]

I have worked so much on myself.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

If people knew how hard it is to do what we do, how much much energy it takes to work on yourself so that you can present, so you can create a platform like this that changes people lives.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I had to fix me first.

[KJ Smith Black]

Hello?

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Listen, I couldn't come in here messed up. I had to figure out what was wrong with me before I can get on here and tell you guys, this is what I've been through. These are my experiences and this is.

[KJ Smith Black]

How I got through it. Absolutely.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

If I didn't do the work, and that was even hard, you know, looking myself in the mirror and then looking at little Crystal and teenage Crystal, adulthood Crystal and all her mistakes and what has shaped me to be the woman I am today. That's a hard lens to look through, you know, but to be able to do that, you have to do that. You have to heal.

[KJ Smith Black]

And you continue to be transparent. I love that about you. And I think for me, I started off so transparent and I've kind of retreated and I don't know what that is, but. But I would love to get back to the space where I can Be transparent and just leave it.

[Felicia]

You know what I mean?

[KJ Smith Black]

And not even whatever comes. That. Whatever comes, it doesn't affect me at all. I'm not there yet. Because when people leave comments, I still will be like, you did that to hurt me, and I don't appreciate it. That wasn't nice. That wasn't kind. I do do it in love now, though. I used to do it in ang. I used to do it in pettiness. I used to do it in, like, malice, which. That was not the person I wanted to be. But now I'm like, what you did wasn't kind.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I want you to know that you have hurt my feelings.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And how do they respond to that?

[KJ Smith Black]

Or do they just delete the comment? Apologize, Beg me in the dm. I'm so sorry. I was having a bad day.

[Felicia]

Oh, yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm like, so why would you take that out on me? That's not nice.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And some of them just want attention. Some. I had a girl that did. That. Did this whole thing, and then when I blocked her, she was like. She sent this long letter. She's like, oh, my God. She was like, I'm so sorry. She was like, I did that. Can you please unblock me? That was my mom's page, and I had wrote it from her page. And she really loves you. And it was like, this whole thing, and I was like, no, you gotta be more careful.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

That wasn't. That wasn't kind.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

It was not kind.

[KJ Smith Black]

And. And that's. That's the thing that I'm learning is some people are hurt, and they want to take it out on whomever they see. I'm. I'm so happy.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I don't know if I've been happier.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I've already gone through the survivor's remorse of that.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Good.

[KJ Smith Black]

I dealt with that already. I've overcome that. I want to be able to be happy out loud. I want to be able to share my testimony. I was just talking in the car. We were talking, me and sky and Fee again. We were talking. Like, I was. Oof. I'm not gonna cry. I am not gonna cry. I spent way too much.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

What's on this, nigga? She's like, oh, no.

[KJ Smith Black]

Okay, let's make up an explanation.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Cause you will cry, baby.

[KJ Smith Black]

You know my baby will cry. You know I'm not gonna cry. And I've been working on that, too. I've been working on my emotional regulation, because I am. I am a crybaby.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I want to master knowing when and when not to. And that's. That's the thing.

[Felicia]

And it's.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I'm like, I. I want to cry if it's authentic to me, but sometimes it's inappropriate.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

You know what I mean? Sometimes it's just inappropriate. You know, right now. I can cry with you.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

But I just don't want to ruin my makeup.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I know. Listen, hold it together.

[KJ Smith Black]

I just don't want to ruin my makeup. I'm gonna be honest with you.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Okay. I feel you.

[KJ Smith Black]

But, you know, I. I was talking in the car and we were talking about the struggles of an artist, and a lot of people, they. They're like, oh, yeah. You know, when you. Your transition, you had a job.

[Felicia]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

A lot of people didn't.

[KJ Smith Black]

You had a job.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

A good job.

[KJ Smith Black]

A good job.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

At a good company. I did not.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And that doesn't make my journey better or worse, but it's my journey.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

And people see me where I am now.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Talk about it.

[KJ Smith Black]

And they don't see the 10 years that I was eating Cheerios and trying to split a rotisserie at the Kroger, then at the Winn Dixie with my roommates because we did not have food. Or the five people that lived in a two bedroom apartment.

[Felicia]

Yes. Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

They don't know that story.

[Felicia]

No.

[KJ Smith Black]

And you know what? It shouldn't matter.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

You shouldn't be mean to me because I told you a sad song.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

You shouldn't be mean to me. I mean, you shouldn't be mean. You shouldn't be nice to me because I've told you my sad song.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I used to. What people. When people would be mean to me, I would be like, you don't know what I've gone through. You don't know what I've. My struggle.

[Felicia]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I used to wear that as a badge of honor. You don't know what I've overcome.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And this and this and this. And I would lay all my trauma out, and I'm like, but I've overcome it.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm not about to open my wound to justify my joy to you.

[Felicia]

Mm. Yeah, that's.

[KJ Smith Black]

You can choose to be nice to me or you can choose to not be in my life.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

Because I'm gonna be nice to you regardless.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Regardless. And you're gonna be happy regardless.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I'm gonna be happy regardless. But I used to just lay my whole life on the table. Well, what about. I took the risk and I lived in la and I was damn near homeless, and I was working three jobs and a waiter and a server, and people were disrespectful to me and I got told no or 3,000 times. And I did a million auditions and I just would just spew.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

All of it out just so someone could be nice to me.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

Just so you can feel like I can relate to you.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

Because you're where I was 10 years ago.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And you can go. You don't have to go through what I went through. No. Maybe if you would have been nice to me, I could put. I could tell you how.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yeah, exactly.

[KJ Smith Black]

But you want to tear me down.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

It's so sad. Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

It's very interesting.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

It is.

[KJ Smith Black]

You know, I've changed a lot. I'm really proud of myself.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I'm proud of you. Seriously.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I am so proud of you. I look at you and I'm like.

[KJ Smith Black]

Man, you've seen it.

[Felicia]

I have.

[KJ Smith Black]

Oh, you have. Y', all, it's been a great road.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes, it really has. This is my girl.

[KJ Smith Black]

You had to be there.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

You did a great road. Speaking of the road, I wanna go back to 2019 when we started Sistas. And this show has just completely changed our lives. We are. Well, I'll just say we know season nine. We're in season nine and nine seasons.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Thinking back to then, season one, we're all coming in like, whoa, we got this show. This is amazing. Did you ever think it would be what it is today and the impact on the culture that it's had?

[KJ Smith Black]

No.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I mean, I would.

[KJ Smith Black]

No.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

You can't even imagine.

[KJ Smith Black]

Crystal, when we were in that room. Crystal, not Crystal. Producer.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

Big boss dog. You know what I'm saying? We ain't gonna downplay it. My girl. Humble. But I'm not. We not gonna downplay my good sis. Okay.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Kj, Big.

[KJ Smith Black]

Big Boss Dog.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Okay.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm a gasser up every time. Okay. We in the room. It's a theater size room. I don't know how much I can say.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yeah, we can talk about that.

[KJ Smith Black]

It was a theater size room. There's pictures on the board.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Okay.

[KJ Smith Black]

And at that time, I had already been cast as Andy and Deval had already been cast as that. And we were cast and Big Boss Dog was with other producers and they were trying to. They were moving, Moving names around, names matching people.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Come back. You know, Cheetah, Wakocha. Can you come back in for this role? Anthony Dalton, can you come in for this role? And it was just like, like such a magical moment. It was such a Magical moment. Because they. They do something special over there where they. They love you and they're gonna find something for you.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

They don't just throw you away. Like, if you don't fit what you read for. It's like, we're gonna find something for you.

[KJ Smith Black]

We're gonna find something for you.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

So true.

[KJ Smith Black]

They don't toss you away. They say, I'm gonna find something for you. It may not be this, but it's gonna be this. Gonna be this movie or it's gonna be this show.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Because some people. Tyler, be like, wait, no, they need to be on this. This is actually so and so on this show. And I'm like. The fact that he can even, like, see that while he's casting for a completely different show and still give you something.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes, absolutely.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I love him for that.

[KJ Smith Black]

That day, the day my life changed, honestly, was that day.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And you. And you were there.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

It was a beautiful day.

[KJ Smith Black]

It was the most incredible day. But we had already known each other because that was 2019, and we had known each other from 2017 because of Madea's family funeral. And that, unbeknownst to you, I don't know if I told you that my dad had died.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yeah. I didn't find out until later.

[KJ Smith Black]

Oh, right.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I was depressed during that time. And to be shooting a movie about a funeral.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Ma'.

[Felicia]

Am.

[KJ Smith Black]

After my father had passed away. My father had passed away in January. I think I booked that film in February. We were shooting in March.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I was grieving so hard. And you were so kind. You were so kind. Because I was a walking zombie and.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I had no idea.

[KJ Smith Black]

And you didn't know. You were so nice.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

But it doesn't. I feel like you should. Because you don't know what people are going through. You should always be kind, you know? And I think that's something I learned just growing up. My family always instilled that in me. So that moments like that, if I was. If I didn't have those foundations, it could have been a different story. She wasn't so kind. And I was going through a really tough time, and I came into my fitting, and you were just like, all right, whatever. You know, you just never know. So I'm always. I make a point to be kind to everyone.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And you do, too, though. Like, your energy is always just so pleasant.

[KJ Smith Black]

I. I love people. I really do. I love. I rock with anybody.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Like, I. I rock with anybody. I don't care how much money you got.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I don't care what kind of car you drive, because I've been every.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

Everything on the totem pole, from dirt bro to middle class to all the. I. I'm. And I'm also a confident person, so it's like, I rock with everybody. I don't need to, you know, I don't need to dim your light.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I got my own. I enjoy mine, too. You know what I'm saying? All shine.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

You know, that's. That's my spirit, so. And then, especially in our industry, having worked so many of the jobs. You, you, you.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

This is what we. We have in common. Having been a PA haven't been a background artist, having been those things. You know, the importance of being kind to somebody.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

You know, the importance of making somebody's day. They just want a picture. Come on.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

What? You want to call your mama, right?

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I'm quick to tell somebody to call her.

[KJ Smith Black]

Get her on the phone.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

And we gonna have.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I love it.

[KJ Smith Black]

Get you. Let me talk to your mama.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yep. They're like, my mom. Look, call her. They be like, for real. I'm like, like, call her.

[KJ Smith Black]

Get a picture. Yeah, call her right now that. We rock with people. And I think that, you know, for that reason alone, we don't take this opportunity for granted.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Absolutely not.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I think people can feel that.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I. I'm never going to change that. I'm never. Now even as depressed as I ever was, I've never been mean or felt like I had to shun or be rude to anybody I've worked with or anybody who's a supporter of the show, I like to say, or a fan of the show because I'm so grateful you watched.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

Thank you.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Those of you are welcoming us into their homes. That's a very safe space. The fact they're like, this is a show I want to watch on Wednesday nights, you know, like, it's a privilege.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And. And, you know, not to give anybody too much credit, but they're a part of my journey.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Now, you know why? Because we allow. We allow the space for people to get involved in our personal life. I share my pregnancy. I share my. My marriage. I share. So now these people are, you know, who support the show now. Support.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Your family like you.

[KJ Smith Black]

And you are who I am. And I love that.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I love that. And anytime that we get a chance to reciprocate that to them.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I want to do it.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And you do it so well. I love. Like, when I see you sometimes, you're tired. And k. Just like.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm like, hey, y'. All.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And I'm like, I'm. My feet hurt. I'm tired. You have so much energy. I'm like, you do. I love it, though. I love it. Speaking of your personal life, you and sky met when he was on Sisters, and then he got his own show, all the Queen's Men. Tell us about that. Because KJ and I was living together in the bubble during COVID when I feel like this.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

That's when it butted.

[KJ Smith Black]

Right, girl?

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes. And I had no idea this girl know how to hold some water.

[KJ Smith Black]

You know, I'm a keeper of secrets. Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I.

[KJ Smith Black]

We were in the bubble. Was that our second year in the bubble? That was. That was our second year in the bubble. That was the second year in the bubble. And, of course, you and me, we had all the scenes together. So we spent all of our time.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Being roommates, studying, and I can't just stay with anybody.

[KJ Smith Black]

Hello.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Okay. I'm really about my space, and that's no shade to nobody. I love everybody, but living with somebody. Me and kj.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

It's like.

[KJ Smith Black]

It's an energy thing.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

It's an energy thing. So we're staying together, right?

[KJ Smith Black]

Absolutely.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

You're, like, absolutely. Like, perfect.

[KJ Smith Black]

Absolutely. And it was great.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

But, yes, sky, we were trying to keep it a secret, but he would do things like, you know, walk me to the door or, you know, when we first land, he grabbed my luggage and try to help me. Because we started dating just before we went into the second bubble. Yes. I met him in the first bubble.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

And so we. We didn't even really. I don't want to say we didn't connect because we connected on a spiritual level. And what I mean by that is we didn't even get an opportunity to sit down alone, uninterrupted, and have a full conversation.

[Felicia]

Wow.

[KJ Smith Black]

Because in season two, we were just getting back from co. We were just coming back to shoot during COVID and he and I would just be in the same space.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yeah. Like in the gym.

[KJ Smith Black]

In the gym, we'd be running.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And here comes Sky.

[KJ Smith Black]

Absolutely. Or. Or at the taco truck. At the taco truck. And it's just. Yeah. And he's like, he tall, so it's like. It's just like this looming figure.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I have to turn around.

[KJ Smith Black]

Like Rome. Hey. Hey. What's up?

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

Mind you, we're all wearing masks.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

So all I'm seeing is this man's face here. Right. Like, I'm not even. I'm just seeing.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Because the mask is here. So it was energy. His energy was just like. I was like, oh, tall, handsome. Hi, sir. You from Miami? Yes, sir. I'm from Tallahassee. I'm a Florida girl, myself.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Connection.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah. We really just started to connect. And, you know, he'll start to ask me like, hey, you know, where you from? What you doing? And things like that. And then, you know how it is at work. Even if you're on lunch, there's someone interrupting you because they're like, hey, we need you in hair and makeup or run lines. Hey, can you run lines? Or, hey, we need to do you a wardrobe fitting or VR.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

We need to come do. Yes. Always something.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

So that's what kept happening in season two.

[Felicia]

Wow.

[KJ Smith Black]

We kept. Which. Which. Which I needed because, honestly, I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for anything.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And I remember that. Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for that. So season two, that's what happened. And then season three, while we were roommates. Yes. He. He. You know, he made a move a couple weeks before we went back to shooting. And I'm an all in type of girl. I was like, oh, I like him and I want him. And he was like, I like you and I want you. And we were just like. And then we were kind of connected at the hip from then on, but we were trying to hide it because we just didn't want any. We didn't want any. And, you know, we. I had shared my relationships with you before. Yeah, I had shared all of my relationships, and I even shared that one. You must have forgot because I did tell you. I was like, I like a guy. And you. And I kind of told you.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

You told me not to pick picnic and everything about before y' all came. You told me about that, but I don't think you told me. I don't know.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah, I don't think I told you.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And then I remember one night, because I think those houses are haunted. And I heard. I swear I heard some, like, footsteps and like, some pants, you know, like the pants in the house. And I was like, I was too.

[KJ Smith Black]

Scared to let him in the house.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Okay. I was one.

[KJ Smith Black]

I was like, no, no, I wasn't scared.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Was that a ghost?

[KJ Smith Black]

No, no, no. That was the ghost. It was.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Oh, God.

[KJ Smith Black]

I was too scared. He was too scared to get fired, too. Actually, he was scarier than me.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Cause T was staying on the lot, too. So he riding that bike like Debo.

[KJ Smith Black]

My now husband. Was like, I'mma drop you off at the porch.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I'm a holler.

[KJ Smith Black]

He was like, bye, I'm scared. He was like, your job is secure, Monique.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Listen, smart man.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

I was like, no, you can. You can sit on the porch with us.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

He's like, no, I'm hollering.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I'm gonna be a gentleman and bring you home.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes. And he did that. So we ended up spending like every evening, you know, eating dinner and just trying to, like, kind of get away from everybody. And then I'll be like, okay. I mean, it's not much time you could spend because all we do is study. That's so.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yeah, that's it.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah. But it was. It was the catalyst to the rest of my life. And so. Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And at what point, you know, like, this is my husband.

[KJ Smith Black]

Right away.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Really?

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah, girl. I mean, our first date, I was like, like, so are you, like, you available for the rest of your life? Cuz you're mine.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I know that's right.

[KJ Smith Black]

Saying like, it. It just. He. It just felt right. Yeah, it felt right. And you know what I've gone through in past relationships, and it didn't feel like that. Yeah, it didn't feel like that. Like I said, I was trying to control everything. Those. Those moments and those relationships were sometimes relationships that I had manipulated into my mind thinking were great. And I'm like, oh, but he has these qualities. And it's a whole host of other. A scroll of terrible qualities.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Aj, listen.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

We were just talking about this. I was doing an episode called dating in my 40s, a part two for it. And we were talking about how you can have that. These things that you. Okay this person. You get to an age where it's like, I really want to be with somebody. And these are things. My non negotiable. My non negotiables and my boundaries. But then you start to let certain things slide.

[KJ Smith Black]

Absolutely.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

You know, and you. You're blinded by like, wait, these are things that you said were non negotiables.

[KJ Smith Black]

Absolutely.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

But these are showing up, you know? That's so true. That's true.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah. I was supposed to be married with children by 35.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Me too.

[KJ Smith Black]

That's what I thought. And so I would squeeze these in these people into my perfect picture that I had created it in my mind. And, you know, things will go left and I'm. I'm. Listen, I'm a ride or die. You know what I'm saying? I'm. I'm a loyal chick.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

You are. To everybody that you love.

[KJ Smith Black]

Listen.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Literally, I love you.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

We locked in, and I'm gonna fight for you. Yes, I am going to. I am not. I'm gonna. I'm not gonna play about you.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I don't play about you, and I don't play about.

[KJ Smith Black]

You know that.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes, I do that.

[KJ Smith Black]

Listen, cut the question.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Literally.

[KJ Smith Black]

I don't want to hear cussing Christian. I ain't gonna do it on the podcast. Y' all make the listen.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Your sweeties, they love you, but they are. Yeah, they writers.

[KJ Smith Black]

It's the Beehive number two. They don't play.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

That's what big west be say's like, yes.

[Felicia]

No.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Every time we try to, like, explain to, like, a partner that we're trying to build with, like, they're like, you don't understand. You don't understand. Come.

[KJ Smith Black]

This is where you want to be. You need to be at Keep it Positive cd, whatever brand is. Listen, sponsorships, brand dollars. She has the beehive number two. Okay. They do not play. And I love them.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Me, too.

[KJ Smith Black]

They so.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Oh, my gosh.

[KJ Smith Black]

They're my babies. They see what I see. They see what I've always seen. You know what I mean? And I love that.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah. They ride for you. I ride for you, too. I don't think you do.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yeah, she know you do, though. You ride, ride. I love that. In closing, we are talking about emp.

[KJ Smith Black]

It's over.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

She's like, it's over.

[KJ Smith Black]

You playing with me.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I mean, we can keep going. I got good and warm warmed up. She's like.

[KJ Smith Black]

Like, this liquor. I just got little warmed up over here.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Like, what she got in that cup?

[KJ Smith Black]

Water.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Water. Exactly. In closing, I do want to ask you, Our word for this season is impact. And, kj, you are big in mentorship. You're big and pouring into people. What is the impact that you really want to leave and that you're intentional about leaving on this next generation?

[KJ Smith Black]

You know, Crystal, if I'm going to be 100% honest with you, I can give you some fluff PR answers.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I can be like, oh, I want to change lives of young women in America and across the nation. I am asking God that question right now.

[Felicia]

That's good.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And he'll give it to you.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I'm gonna wait for the answer.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And then when I get the answer.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I can tell you, yeah, I love that. And that's what I did. That's where the word impact came from. I said, God, how do you want me to continue to use this platform? And I said, I'm inspiring people every week. But, like, what are we doing? Like, how is this leaving a lasting impression on people? And he said, impact.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Find ways to be more impactful. So that's the word I kind of leave with and like to ask people. And I love that, because he will give you that answer.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I'm gonna wait on it. Y. I'm not going to create my own.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

There you go.

[KJ Smith Black]

Cancer. I'm not. I'm going to wait on it. And I'm glad you asked me that, because that's been in alignment with my spirit lately.

[Felicia]

Yeah. Good.

[KJ Smith Black]

Because it's. It's bigger. It's bigger.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

It is so much bigger.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I. And I. And I'm excited to see what happens, but I. I've been in my way for so long.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Come on, kj. Yeah, me too.

[KJ Smith Black]

And I just. Just. I just want to move out the way and let God. God.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Big boy said. I know that. Feel it. I heard he felt that. Oh.

[KJ Smith Black]

You know what I'm saying?

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

I just. I want to let God do what God does because I'm tired of getting. Getting involved.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Moving things around, and then I be feeling like I gotta start all over.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right. Clean up my mess. See, like, now, if you don't sit down somewhere.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And let me orchestrate this.

[KJ Smith Black]

Now, that's the word I've been getting lately. That. Sit down sternly with the. Like this. Sit down like a mama.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Right.

[KJ Smith Black]

Sit down. Like that. Like, not friendly. Like, sit down. Have a seat. No, sit your. Sit down.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Sit down. He's done that too long. He's done the. Sit down, kj.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Sit down now. Hey.

[KJ Smith Black]

It was a tap. Like, hey, hey. It's okay. Okay. Then it was a little shove.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Just like.

[KJ Smith Black]

It's one of them. The ear pull.

[Felicia]

Right.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

That's what God.

[KJ Smith Black]

That's where God is with me right now.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I love it.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna sit down.

[Felicia]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm gonna listen to the voice of God, and I'm gonna get a better understanding of what my grander purpose on this journey is.

[Felicia]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

And then I can answer that question.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Awesome. Well, I cannot wait to hear what God gives you. I can't wait to see him continue to just elevate your life. I know it is bigger. And I can't wait to see what you do. I love you, kj.

[KJ Smith Black]

I love you, too.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

And before we get out of here, we have a little. Keep it positive sweetie for our little sweetie.

[KJ Smith Black]

Oh, my.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I love you.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm about to have a little sweetie.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes, you are, y'.

[Felicia]

All.

[KJ Smith Black]

I'm not gonna cry. Ah. Oh, my goodness. Cheers. Or keep it positive, sweetie. Mer.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

Yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

She's the first baby to get it. They've been asking for, like, merch, and I was like, yeah.

[KJ Smith Black]

This is beautiful.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

You are so welcome. I love you. I love you, too. Thank you for even coming and take. I know you got all dolled up for me.

[KJ Smith Black]

Oh, yes.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

I appreciate it.

[KJ Smith Black]

Me and the baby.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Yes.

[KJ Smith Black]

I was like, we're. We're going on a show today.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Oh, you're a baby, sweetie. You are a baby, sweetie. Yes. TT Chris loves you.

[KJ Smith Black]

I know. That's right.

[Chris Renee Hazel]

Thank you, friend. You on today's Crystal's closet, I am wearing a pinstripe and flannel set by Soroya. I absolutely love this set. It's so comfortable. It's giving, like, business up top and comfy on the bottom. My shoes are a silver alligator skin. Or actually, I think this is snakeskin. My shoes are silver snakeskin by Loewe. These shoes are so comfortable as well. My favorite new shoes. I'm just loving this outfit. Sweeties, I hope you enjoyed hearing today's conversation just as much as I enjoyed having it. Before I let you go, I want to leave you with this quote. The only limit to your impact is your imagination and your commitment. Until next time, keep it positive, sweeties. See you on the next episode.