Questions w/ Crystal Renee Hayslett

Summary

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Keep it Positive, Sweetie: "Questions w/ Crystal Renee Hayslett"

Podcast: Keep It Positive, Sweetie
Host: Crystal Renee Hayslett
Date: May 25, 2025

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Main Theme

In this solo episode, Crystal Renee Hayslett invites her listeners into an intimate, candid Q&A session, tackling audience questions and reflecting on themes of faith, manifestation, confidence, self-care, work/life balance, boundaries, resilience, relationships, and personal growth. The episode feels like a conversation with a close friend, enriched by input from crew members Drea and Herman, and laced with humor, warmth, and vulnerability.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Manifestation vs. “Delulu” (Delusional) [00:57]

• Crystal shares the thin line between being “delulu” (overly optimistic/dreamy) and manifesting your dreams.
• She recounts bold career decisions, like quitting a Capitol Hill job to join Obama’s campaign, despite family doubts.
  • Quote:
    “I see no bounds to how far I can go... Call me Delulu or whatever you want to call me. But yeah.”
    —Crystal Renee Hayslett [03:07]
• Emphasizes learning through proximity: “I’ve always been a firm believer of putting yourself around what you want to do so you can learn from all aspects...” [01:48]

2. Making Everyday Moments Magical [04:21]

• Crystal’s tools for creating joy and meaning: meditation, prayer, bible reading, journaling.
• She shares a “movie moment” from New York Fashion Week, sitting next to Jay Manuel, who advises her with the poise of a scene from The Devil Wears Prada.
  • Quote:
    “J, honey, he was like, you need to leave now… in the fashion world, there’s a 15 minute grace period. Anna Wintour would be walking out.”
    —Crystal Renee Hayslett [05:54]
• Advocates for finding small things to savor as “movie moments” in daily life.

3. The "Glow Up Error" and Self-Confidence [07:50]

• Crystal reflects on her physical transformation and confidence, emphasizing self-acceptance.
• Confronts the pressure of societal standards and body comparisons, especially on social media.
• Quote:
  “You’re made in the image of God. There is no one else like you... I had to stop comparing myself to other people and put the phone down.”
  —Crystal Renee Hayslett [09:52]
• Discusses inner versus outer glow and how confidence is built.

4. Confidence in Social Spaces

• Crystal shares that despite confidence, she’s not naturally the life of the party and prefers to “chill in the corner” rather than network aggressively [10:47].
• She values authentic connections over showy networking.

5. Soft Life vs. Hustle – Achieving Balance [11:04]

• Definition: “Soft life” means embracing ease, joy, and self-care, versus the “hustle” of constant productivity.
• Drea and Crystal discuss balancing business drive with softness, especially for women and single parents.
  • Quote:
    “You have to be very intentional about your soft life.”
    —Crystal Renee Hayslett [11:40]
  • Drea: “When you are a single parent, you’re forced to be harder... as a parent and an entrepreneur and a working mom...it’s kind of hard.” [12:04]
• Both agree: boundaries and intentionality are key.

6. Boundaries, Burnout & Saying No [13:18]

• Crystal and Drea stress the necessity of boundaries for self-preservation; both now love saying “no.”
  • Quote:
    “No…and no. That's it. It's a sentence.”
    —Crystal Renee Hayslett [14:20]
• They trade stories about depleted “emotional batteries” and setting limits for self-care.

7. Bouncing Back - The Art of the Comeback [15:44]

• Crystal recounts moving to Atlanta and the financial struggles that followed, underlining that recovery is often a long process.
  • “It was a series of years for the comeback. It wasn’t a quick season.”
    —Crystal Renee Hayslett [16:03]
• She touches on learning financial management and resilience.

8. The Friend Audit & Keeping Your Circle Strong [18:06]

• Crystal advocates auditing your circle to ensure alignment with your values and aspirations.
  • Quote:
    “You have to really make sure that the people around you serve the season that you are in.” [18:11]
• Explains that growth often requires changing friendships and being okay with letting go.
• Stresses support, uplift, and inspiration as vital traits in close friends.

9. Would You Date You? – Self-Reflection [22:27]

• Crystal muses on self-improvement, control, and grace in relationships.
  • “When you’ve been by yourself for so long, you have cultivated a way of life... sometimes it’s hard to shift those things when you’re so stuck in your ways.” [22:33]
• Recognizes the need to let go of rigid “lists” and be more fluid in relationships.

10. “Pick Me” Energy & Self-Worth [25:43]

• Crystal candidly addresses her previous “pick me” mindset, desperate for relationship validation, and how she outgrew it.
  • “I have been delivered from that. Because a lot of times we… when you have that pick me energy, you are willing to do anything and it turns into only, How can I serve you?”
    —Crystal Renee Hayslett [26:08]
• Now prioritizes reciprocal, intentional, God-aligned connections.

11. Plot Twists, Pivots, and Grace Under Pressure [27:25]

• Shares stories of unexpected obstacles—lost luggage at Fashion Week, outfit mishaps on set.
• Emphasizes quick adaptation, learning grace when things go off-script, and not sweating the small stuff.
  • “We’re not saving lives here. It’s not the end of the world. Like, it’s just the outfit. But it’s the outfit.” [30:27]
• Crew member Herman weighs in on how the fast-paced environment at Tyler Perry Studios taught him flexibility and resilience.
  • Quote:
    “TPS, Tyler Perry Studios, prepared me for this… you have to adjust and move at the speed of lightning, but at the same time, be perfect because you can’t mess up.”
    —Herman [31:25]

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On manifestation and bold moves:
  “As long as I set my mind to it, there’s no stopping me.” [03:23]

• On boundaries:
  “No, and no. That’s it. It’s a sentence.” [14:20]

• On emotional recharging:
  “My drainage is, like, fast… you know how your computer, when it gets, like, older, or your phone, you can’t hold a charge? I’m there.” [15:19]

• On friendship audits:
  “People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime… and you have to be okay with that.” [20:54]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:57] — Delulu vs. Manifestation
• [04:21] — Making Everyday Moments Magical
• [07:50] — The Glow Up Error & Self-Confidence
• [11:04] — Soft Life vs. Hustle Life (ft. Drea)
• [13:18] — Boundaries, Burnout, & Saying No
• [15:44] — Bouncing Back from Setbacks
• [18:06] — The Friend Audit—Curating Supportive Circles
• [22:27] — Would You Date You & Self-Reflection
• [25:43] — No More Pick Me Energy
• [27:25] — Plot Twists & Pivots (NYFW and On Set)
• [31:16] — Herman on Adaptability at Tyler Perry Studios

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Overall Tone & Style

Friendly, honest, relatable, and faith-centered. Crystal radiates warmth as she reflects on life’s ups and downs, balancing humor and vulnerability. The episode is uplifting and practical—with takeaways for listeners eager for empowerment and real-talk about self-worth, growth, and staying "positive, sweetie."

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Transcript

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Calling all my sweeties to the forefront. I'm your host, Chris Renee Hazlet, and this is the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. Hello, and welcome to this episode of the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. A safe space to heal, laugh, grow, and love. I'm your host, Chris Renee Hayslett, and today is another solo episode. Because you guys love these. Today I'm answering questions. It's fun. I even broke the fourth wall and included some of my crew. So let's have a good time. I hope you guys enjoy this one. All right, guys, so I'm going to do something different on this episode. I'm going to be answering a few questions that will also bring you into my mindset and how I think about things. The first one is Delulu or manifestation. Hmm. The power of dreaming big. I can definitely tend to be a little Delulu. I remember, like, growing up, and my mom would always say, oh, my goodness, you are literally the biggest risk taker of the family. And I think it got me to where I am today because I see no bounds to how far I can go. Some of the craziest things I did growing up, I remember when I was in Washington, D.C. working on Capitol Hill. I drove from D.C. to New York to audition for Diddy's Assistant. Yeah, it was crazy because I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to be an entertainer. And I was like, okay, what's the best way to go about this? I've always. Even from back then, I've always been a firm believer of putting yourself around what you want to do so that you can learn from all aspects of that space. And that was one of the craziest things I did. I clearly didn't get it. And then I remember another time when I was working on Capitol Hill in D.C. that this was when then Senator Obama was running for his first term in presidency. And his. One of his. I don't know if he was a legislative correspondent or. But he worked in Senator Obama's office at the time. And he was like, hey, Crystal. He was like, senator Obama's running for president and we have some paid positions to come work on the campaign. Would you want to come do it? And I'm like, heck, yeah. And he was like, all right, bet. So I called my parents. I'm like, hey, guys, guys, I'm going to quit my job and I'm going to go work on the Obama campaign. And my parents were like, you are crazy. And I was like, no, I really think he's going to win. My parents were like, I don't know, because we had never seen it. And this is no slight to them. Like, nobody ever thought that we would have a black president. We were hopeful that we would have one. But at that moment, they really weren't sure that it was smart for me to quit my job to go work on a campaign for someone who I could possibly not have a job. After that moment, needless to say, I was right. They were wrong. No, but he won. And after that, they were like, you know what? We're not gonna tell you what you can and cannot do. Just go for it. Because I could have been working in the White House for the first black president, you know, but that's neither here nor there. So, yeah, I think I'm definitely Delulu when it comes to manifesting my dreams. So I guess that has played a huge part in my success today. And literally since a kid, I don't care if anybody likes it or doesn't like it. As long as I set my mind to it, there's no stopping me. So call me Delulu or whatever you want to call me. But yeah. All right. So the next one is how do I make everyday moments feel magical? I feel like I try to make everything that I do fun and enjoyable. I don't really do anything that I don't enjoy. You know, there are some things you're like, this isn't the most fun thing, but I know it's good for me. So I do it and then I end up loving it. But things that I make enjoyable and that I just really love. I love my daily routine. I love my self care routines. You guys know, in the mornings, I do my meditation, I pray, I read my bible, and I journal in my light, the flame within journal. That is very therapeutic for me. And it really helps me kind of get centered in the day and helps me fight off all the craziness that I'm ready to face throughout the day. Things that make me feel like I'm in a movie. So I just had a moment. I was in New York Fashion Week and I was sitting next to. Oh, my gosh, such an amazing moment. I was sitting next to Jay Manuel, who, if you watch America's Next Top Model, he was one of the guest judges that always made appearances on America's Next Top Model. So I have just a great, great love for J. Manuel. So I got to sit next to him at the Romeo Hunt show. And anybody who knows me knows that the Devil Wears Prada is one of my favorite movies starring Meryl Streep. And we were at this show and the show was getting started late. And I had a very, very tight schedule that day where I had to be at another show by five o'. Clock. So I was banking on that show starting on time. And J, honey, he was like, you need to leave now. And I was like, what do you mean? He was like, you don't want to be late for that show. He said, in the fashion world, there's a 15 minute grace period. And he was like, by now, Anna Wintour would be walking out. You should go. And I swear in that moment, I was like, this is a scene from a movie. It felt like a movie. There's so many points in my life that I feel like. Feel kind of like a movie where I look back and I'm like, that's my life. That's really my life. So, yeah, those are ways that I. That make my life fun. And then also moments of my life that kind of felt like a movie. Let's see what we have next. Ooh, the glow Up Error Child. We need to find some pictures of me before now. I look crazy. Somebody found a like. Well, I probably posted it, but it was a picture of me when I was a kid, my teeth were all over the place and I never wear braces. So it was like, I guess as they grew and they just grew in straight. But at that moment, it's like one was growing in. It was really bad. Even, like through high school. And I look back at my senior picture, like, how thin my eyebrows were. I'd be like, oh, my gosh, what were you thinking, girl? But becoming my best self inside out. I think for the longest, I've pretty much been a very confident person. But there was a phase in my life where I kind of lost myself and my identity and trying to find myself. And I think where I am now, I am so firm in who I am. I love who I am inside out. I love the skin I'm in. Of course, there's moments where I gain a little weight and y' all be. I be seeing y'. All. Y' all be talking about, is she pregnant, she didn't. She getting fat, all these things. But there's times where I am hard on myself. You guys don't even have to say those things because I am so hard on myself. I see it and I'm like, all right, let me fix it. And there's some things I have to do for work where they're like, you do not lose any weight. We need. You actually gain some weight because you're pregnant or whatever the case may be, and we need it to look real. But, yeah, for the most part, I am very confident. But there were times where I was like, ooh, girl, like, you gotta really pull it together. But I think things that I've done to get to that point is honestly just understanding that one. You're made in the image of God. There is no one else like you. And I think there was this moment in our culture and society where everybody was just walking, everybody was looking the same, like, everybody had the body, and it was like, there was no uniqueness. And I would compare myself to all these girls. You get on social media and everybody has the perfect body. And it was a moment where I was just like, okay, maybe I need to do a little something here. You know what I'm saying? A little here. And I remember, like, not feeling my best self in those moments. But once I got past that and realized, you know what? You are good, you know, like, do your thing. Do what works for you. And I don't knock nobody for what they do. Do you think it works for you? But as long as you feel good about it. And once I got to that place, I was good. But I had to stop comparing myself to other people and put the phone down. This child confidence is contagious. How you walk into any room like you own it. Okay, guys, let me tell you something. I am a confident woman, but when I walk into rooms, I'm not the girl that's like, hi, hey, I'm Crystal. Nice to meet you. I am the girl that's in a corner, like, not networking, not talking to people. So I had to take people with me that don't mind doing that, you know? So I don't know if I really walk into rooms. Like, I own it. You know, I do walk in if I'm spoken to, I'm definitely going to speak with you confidently and carry on a great conversation. So. So that when you leave, it's like, yo, that was a really dope conversation. But as far as me walking in and just kind of owning the room, no. Like, I feel like when you live your life in the spotlight, you kind of tend to, like, sit back in those scenarios. So I don't know if I really walk in and own it. But, yeah, I'll be chilling. I really be chilling. Let's see. Soft life versus the hustle life. Can you have both? Oh, my goodness. So this is tough for me because I. I feel like you have to be very intentional about your soft life. If you Are a woman or a man, whoever it is that is about your hustle and about your business. A lot of times I think we have misconstrue the fact that being about our business, we put aside our soft side. Because when you're about your business, you had to, you know, put on your masculine hat and be tough so people don't run over you and things like that. But I think for me, I'm finally finding the balance of doing things that bring out that softer side. Because, honey, I lost it for a minute. Like, I was. I gotta do everything. I'm hard. You know what I'm saying, Man, I ain't got nobody to help me, so let me just do it myself. Like, I was doing everything. And I remember at one point in my life, I just, like, broke down crying because I'm like, dang, I don't have anybody to, like, help with anything. You ever felt like that, Drea? Yes. It was something as simple as the garbage disposal. My garbage disposal broke. And I was, like, doing everything. I'm trying to build a business. I was new to acting and trying to balance out that schedule. And my whole life is changing, and I'm like, I literally am doing all this by myself, you know, like, I didn't have another human body to help me with it. And I think in that moment, I was like, the soft life started to kind of, like, become more popular. Because I think a lot of women who are entrepreneurs and successful started to realize, dang, I'm doing this on my own, and I've kind of become hard.

[Drea]

I'm very hard. I'm harder than hard right now.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Harder than hard. Soft like me. I want that. Soft like me. Yes. But do you feel like that's something that we as women have to really kind of take control of, even if we don't have a man? That can make our lives easier. Because I think a lot of times we, like, think that somebody else has to come in and do that. Is that something that we can, like, implement into our own lives? Or do you think it's just easier when you have somebody to kind of land on?

[Drea]

Well, I think I'm a little different from you because when you are a single parent, you're forced to.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

That's a different aspect.

[Drea]

A little harder doing things yourself and stuff like that versus being single.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Right? That's being single.

[Drea]

You could kind of do more of the soft life, but as a parent and an entrepreneur and a working mom and the. The go, gotta do everything. It's kind of hard.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Yeah. I can see that. Kind of hard. I didn't think about it from that perspective. Yeah. Cuz I don't have any kids, so I don't really have anything else.

[Drea]

Your soft life. You gonna get your facials?

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Yeah. Get a little massage?

[Drea]

Pilates.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

You like, girl. What? Pilates.

[Drea]

Why you go to Pilates? I'm dropping kids off at school, you know, but there is a bal you you can do when you have a lot of things going on. I fit in my Pilates. I fit in going to workout. I fit in my facials. But then an hour later, I'm back to the hard life.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Ooh. Yeah. That's real. That's real. So I think for both of us, really more about finding that balance and really kind of pinning in that time to like, I gotta have myself time. Well, I think that kind of also ties into like, burnout, because you know what I'm saying, when you don't take the time to be intentional about the time and space that you need as women, it like, we end up burning out.

[Drea]

You definitely burn out.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Yeah.

[Drea]

Don't ask me how I recharge from burnout now. I ain't got to answer.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

You got to answer. I will tell everybody, y'. All. I can't. Like, I'm very firm when it comes to my boundaries of.

[Drea]

No, you gotta set boundaries.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

I had to, like, even like now, like, I already told them on a certain date, when I'm getting ready to prepare to go back for sistas, don't call me for anything. Letting you know, so we're doing. I will work my tail to the bone up until that point. So you have everything you need for me to take that month off. Because once that I'm focused on that and it's so much I already knew. You know how, like, you can see it in advance. Like, it's too much like, so I know by this point I'm gonna be done.

[Drea]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

So. So I think having those healthy boundaries of saying no is like, so important to you.

[Drea]

That's with anybody. Friends, relationships, work, clients, all of that.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Do you have trouble saying no?

[Drea]

I used to.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Me too. But I love it now.

[Drea]

I know it now.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

It's my favorite.

[Drea]

Can't do it.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

No and no. That's it. It's a sentence.

[Drea]

It's a no.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

It's a complete sentence. Even dating. No, no, no.

[Drea]

Not knowing it. And I don't feel bad about it at first. I used to feel bad, like, I don't wanna hurt nobody's feelings.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

No. Now if like, the right Person that you really. She said, but my friend can call.

[Drea]

Me and be like, girl, let's go do brunch, girl, I don't feel like it. Let that man call.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Let me get my boo toed. I'm on the way.

[Drea]

Put something together.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Yes. I love that.

[Drea]

Pick and choose.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

It is. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I think that, too, like, finding the balance of, like, prioritizing your time with everybody, you know, so that you don't neglect people, but also so that you're not neglecting yourself. Because there's weeks where I'm like, oh, my goodness. I have literally, like, said yes to everybody every day of the week. And by Saturday, it's like, I'm so tired. I just wish I had said no to one of these things.

[Drea]

You get emotionally drained.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Yes. Oh, girl, my battery ain't never full. So by the time, like, my drainage is, like, fast. It's like, you know how your computer, when it gets, like, older, or your phone, you can't hold a charge. I'm there. Like, this ain't it ain't holding a charge.

[Drea]

That's how it be.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

I get out, I go out, and I'm like, y' all ready to go? Chris, we just got here. I know I'm ready.

[Drea]

I don't wanna be here.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

I don't wanna be here. That's good for you, right? That's it. I got my pictures. They know I was here. We're good. Mm. This is another good one. Bouncing back the art of the comeback. Oh. Oh, my goodness. Let me think of a moment where I had to bounce back. I feel like it would probably be when I first moved to Atlanta from D.C. going from having a regular paying job, consistent check, and then moving here and going, like, flat broke. Money ran out fast. Everything I had saved up ran out and trying to figure it out and that it was a series of years for the Comeback. It wasn't, like, a quick season where, like, bounce back now. You know what I'm saying? Your money can get low. And then it's like, oh, I know I got this coming. Boom, boom, boom. But even in that, like, learning the responsibility of how to manage things, because for me, I went from making a good amount of money, a great amount of money, to, like, making, like, a lot of money in a very short amount of time and not having everything I need to know and having to learn really fast how to manage that so that, like, when you do have down seasons, you know. Okay, cool. Like, I can. I've already managed this properly so that when I have a down season. I don't have to figure out how to come back. And I think that comes with maturity. But it wasn't always like that. So that was probably one of the seasons, a series of years that I would call a season where I had to literally fight my way back. It wasn't just a quick comeback. Let's see what else we got. Oh, the friend audit. Keeping your circle strong. This is really good. And this goes with all type. Like, I want to say, this could be for friends and family. You got to really make sure that the people around you serve the season that you are in. Because if you're around people and you're unequally yoked when it comes to where you are in your life, it can derail you so fast, you know? And I think that for me, where I am in my life now, and I look around at my friend circle, we are so strong in our faith and our firm foundation in Christ, and it helps me stay focused. If I was running around with people that were, like, still in the streets, in the club, being promiscuous and doing all these different things, like not saying that everybody. Everybody's walk is different. Let's be very clear on that. But if we're all striving for the same thing, if we're all focused and like, Drea, we see each other at church on Sundays, you know, like, we're all, like, on that path. It helps with your walk. So, like, when you look at your circle, you kind of have to see, like, let's take a little inventory and audit. Where are people in their lives who's kind of stagnant right now? And how can we help lift them up to where we are, you know, besides just throwing people away? But also, you have to be around people who want that for themselves, you know? So I think for me, in my journey, it has. I do probably yearly kind of an otter, maybe sometimes throughout the year. You kind of have to be very conscious of your surroundings and who you keep. Cause, you know, sometimes you'll look and be like, wait a minute. Why am I acting like this? Like, what is that? Cause I don't really do this. Because you start to pull. You don't realize you are like the people that you hang around the most. So, like, you guys wanted to cuss like a sailor, and you trying to stop cussing, you'll find yourself like, wait, why am I cussing all the time? It's like, oh, like, okay, now I gotta talk to my friend. Hey, bro, like, you gotta chill Out. Cause I'm really working on this, and I'm starting to pick it up. It's like a kid, you know? Like, you got a kid who, like, absorbs everything, and then you're like, where'd I get that from? Oh, I got it from my mama, you know? So it's like the same thing. We are constantly absorbing things. So I think the friend audit is very, very important, especially when it comes to just evolving in life. You know, for me, even with attaining fame and trying to figure out how to navigate it, I've noticed that my friends have even had to kind of shift and even kind of elevate and grow because they are around me. They're like, dang. We realized, like, we can't move how we used to move because of you. And sometimes it can be a heavy thing to carry when you're not the one that has to bear that, you know? Like, for me, it's like, it's a part of it, you know? But when you're just attached to me and somebody who's just an innocent bystander, where they have to kind of shift, too. Sometimes they don't understand why they have to shift or even understand the importance of it because they're not living it. But then other people that I'm around, they're like, no, I get it. And I'm willing. You know what I'm saying? Like, sis, I see. Like, I understand where you are and where you're going, and I want to go, too. And I want to grow and my areas. And I would love to be around you because it inspires me. But, like, when you have people who aren't really quite there yet, you have to decide when it's time to sever those ties or. You know, I feel like the saying that people are in your life for a reason, and a season or a lifetime is so true. And you have to be okay with that. You know, we want to hold on to people and hold them tight forever. And that's not everybody's position in your life. And you have to understand that. And that doesn't mean that you don't love them any less, that they're not in your prayers, or that they can't call you if they need you for anything. But some people just can't stay that close to you all the time, you know, depending on where you are in your life. So the friend audit is important. Make sure you guys do that and check your circle. You gotta keep it strong. Mmm. This is a good one. Would you date? You ooh Ooh. That's so good. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Would I date me? I. I mean, of course I would date me, but there are some things when you ask me that, I'm like, there's some things I need to work on. I have like a. Like, I like. I like things the way I like it, you know, and I can. When you've been by yourself for so long, you have cultivated a way of life, you've cultivated your patterns in the way you like to do things, and sometimes it's hard to like, shift those things when you're so stuck in your ways. So I know for me, like, when it comes to dating me, if I was to date myself, those are some things that this is good because it's kind of a little self reflection that I would need to work on, like, you know, being more like water, you know what I'm saying? Like, if. If I'm with somebody, I want us to flow, you know, it doesn't have to always be my way. That's something I need to work on. I think something else I would work on if I was to date myself would be wanting. Oh, you know what? If I was to date myself, I would also tell Crystal to work on making sure that you give people the grace that you want people to give you. A lot of times we want people to come exactly how we want them to come, you know, And I struggle with this myself. Like, you had this list of things. Like, I want somebody who is on the same page as me spiritually. Like, I want somebody who's taking their walk of God seriously. I want somebody who's got their stuff together, you know, I want somebody who has this, at least makes this amount of money, you know, they don't have to make the same amount. You have the list. You know what I'm saying? Whatever your list is, we all have it. And I think we have to understand that sometimes when we put those limitations on people, we also block our blessing of an amazing person. So I would definitely say learn to give grace more and kind of, you know, so you can have your non negotiables, but kind of throw the list away because sometimes the list is just. It's not realistic. So I would do that. And then what else? I think everything else, like, I would keep, you know, like, I'm a good time, like I'm well traveled, so I know a lot of things. I can introduce you to different things and I'm fun. I. Yeah, everything else, I'm good. Those are a few things I need that Control and that grace I need to work on. But other than that. Yeah, I would date myself. Mm. I would. Let's see, what else? No more pick me energy. Standing firm in your worth. I am there, honey. I. Mm. Mm. I used to be the girl. I just had to be in a relationship. Please pick me. Please. Not anymore. No, listen, I'm very open. Cause I did go through a phase in my life where I just was very close minded and wasn't putting myself out there to meet anyone. Now I'm very open minded. I've grown and matured in the things that I want in a man. But as far as being desperate and like, please pick me. Like, I just, I want to be in a relationship so bad. No, those days are over. I'm not that girl anymore. And I thank God that I have been delivered from that. Because a lot of times we. When you have that pick me energy, you are willing to do anything and it turns into like, only how can I serve you? And then the part is not reciprocated on the other end. But when you have values and standards, you come to the table with the man understanding from the jump. Oh, this is how I have to approach her. Oh, these are the things that she needs and demands in a relationship. And I think when you enter it in that way, it sets the tone for what you need. And also you're open as a woman to give the man what he needs. And it's not a one sided relationship. But I think a lot of times as we get older, for me, I had a phase in my life as I was getting older and I wasn't settled down yet, that I did have that energy where I just wanted someone to pick me like I was ready. And I think a lot of times I settled in relationships because of that energy and I was with people that God had not designed for me and that he hadn't chosen for me. But I was so eager to be in a relationship and just be chosen and you know, like, you want that, you know, like we can't sit, like, I don't care. No, you want those things. But you wanted to be with the person that God chose for you. So that's my take on that. Plot twists and pivots when life doesn't go as planned. All right, guys, I am working on this because I work so hard to plan things and this is where the control comes back into. It's hard for me sometimes to immediately go into the, all right, what are we going to do? Let's pivot. You know, I. Because when you, like, so structured, and you. You plan everything to a T, like, you want things to go right. And sometimes, depending on if I'm PMSing and I'm super aggy or if I'm in that space, like, all right, it's fine. Like, what are we gonna do? For the most part, I'm a. It's fine. What are we gonna do? But there's another. Like, I would say 49% of the time, I'm like, all right, what are we gonna do? But that other 51% of the time, I'm like, why is this not going the way we planned it? And that just is not how life works. Life is going to give you pivots. And that's something that I have to work on to make sure that when those moments, those plot twists happen, those moments occur, that I just say, you know what? This is beyond my control. How can we fix it? If I was to give you an example of a plot twist that I've had to bounce back from. Let's see. Besides the New York Fashion Week moment, where I had to. We had to figure out what to do within, like, three hours. My very first Fashion Week, my day one clothes left in Atlanta, having to figure it out, that was when I tell y', all, that was, like, one of the worst weeks. And I used the word worst very loosely. We had just dropped the live show, and I promise you, like, every single day, something was going wrong. You know, the tickets were selling, but I have my sweeties on Patreon, where there are certain things that are supposed to go to them first. Things are being leaked that wasn't getting to them. And I'm telling them one thing, and I'm confirming with my team, and then other things are happening that's beyond their control. They've sent explicit instructions on how this works in the Crystal Renee world. I'm just like, what is happening? Like, why is nothing going right? And I feel like every day that weekend, my sweeties can attest. Like, every day that week, it was something. And then that Friday we get to New York, we land, and the guy was like, all right, we got six bags, but I'm seeing a seventh bag in the queue. But it's not here. And I'm like, what? No, no, it's gotta be there. We were at the airport an hour and a half before we left. I paid extra for Delta vip. Why is my bag not on this plane? And they were like, ma', am, I have no idea, but we appreciate your diamond medallion status. And we're gonna figure it out and shout out Delta. Cause y' all did figure it out. I appreciate y', all, but it was one of those moments where I had to pivot. And you think about it like, this is a dream come true. Like, I'm getting to do my first New York Fashion Week, and my clothes don't make it. That was a moment shout out to Shawna, who. She was so calm, and she's like, it's okay. Cause, like, a year or two before, the same thing happened to her when she went to Paris Fashion Week. So she knew how to pivot. So I'm grateful for that. Another situation in my life where I had to pivot would probably be on set. Okay, let's take it to set work. We're on set. We're moving 90 miles a minute, super fast. It's a very intense. Herman. You can attest to this, how fast we move at tps. Very intense.

[Herman]

Like the speed of lightning.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

The speed of lightning. And you've gone through every single look. And, you know, okay, for this outfit, if I'm gonna be in this outfit for two weeks, baby, this the one.

[Herman]

Yeah.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

And you get in that dressing room, and that's the wrong outfit. And it's your, like. You know what I'm saying? Not your most favorite outfit. And you gotta wear it. And you're like, I gotta be in this with two weeks. And they don't have time to get the outfit from the dream building. You know what I'm saying? That's a moment where it's like, you just gotta swallow it and pivot and be like, all right, I just gotta wear this outfit. Gotta make it work. And it's because you do, like, take your character so seriously. And, you know, the clothes that you just. Because there's certain pieces that just hit, you know, and you want to wear that piece the longest. And that's happened a few times. But then you also have to understand the culture and how fast we're moving. Where you gotta give grace, that's where grace has to be extended. And it's like, okay, we're not saving lives here. It's not the end of the world. Like, it's just the outfit, but it's the outfit. So that's another moment of, like. I feel like we're having to pivot and make things work. Yeah. What about you? Has there been many moments in your life where you had to, like, where God threw you a plot twist and you had to pivot?

[Herman]

God has thrown so many.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

So many Tools for me to pivot.

[Herman]

I'm not going to name one specifically.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Okay.

[Herman]

But earlier when I was prepping your wardrobe for today and I was doing all of these things, I was saying to myself, you know, tps, Tyler Perry Studios prepared me for this, for so many things, because you have to. You have to be able to wear so many hats, and you have to adjust and you have to move at the speed of lightning, but at the same time, you have to be, like, perfect because you can't mess up.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Oh, my gosh.

[Herman]

And I was grateful for that journey this morning.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Oh, I love that. That is so true. Like, when I think about our time at TPS and, like, man, if we had done, like, a reality show, remember, at one point, they were, like, doing a show during COVID If they had an air, like, to see. That's the real show. The real show is the behind the scenes, y'. All. And, like, seeing how we pivot. And if you take that and apply it to real life, there are so many life lessons that we learned through work there. And I think one thing, there's many things that I'm grateful for Tyler for, but his work ethic and how he pushed us and stretched us and, like, it was like the pressure of diamonds being made. We were diamonds in the rough there.

[Herman]

It was like you said, it feels like we are saving lives.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

No. And he has reminded me that we're not.

[Herman]

Yeah. But there's a lot of money on the line.

[Drea]

A lot of.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

Listen. Second is how much money? It was something crazy. Crazy, crazy amounts of money every second.

[Herman]

Like, a lot of money. A minute, a second.

[Chris Renee Hayslett]

It's like, broken down. Yeah. When he breaks it down, you be like, you got it. Sorry. No, that's so true. I love that. Thank you for chiming in, Herman. All right, I think that's it. That's good. That's it. That was good. I like this. Drea, thank you for this idea for this solo episode. I loved it. All right, guys, thank you so much for tuning into this episode of the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. I'm your host, Chris Renee Hayslett. You guys can follow me on all social media platforms at lovechrystalrenae. You can also follow our show at Keep It PositiveSweetie. And that's Sweetie with an IE you can write into our positive outcomes Listener [e-mail] In the meantime, in between time, you already know what to do. Keep it positive, sweeties.