Real Life, Real Love, & The Truth In Between

Summary

Podcast Summary
Keep it Positive, Sweetie
"Real Life, Real Love, & The Truth In Between"
April 14, 2026

Overview
In this heartfelt and humorous episode, Crystal Renee Hayslett welcomes comedian, creator, and storyteller Kev On Stage (Kevin Fredericks). The conversation dives into authenticity, the complexities of parenting, partnership, grief, and personal growth—always balancing laughter with truth. Kev shares candid insights from his career and family life, reflecting on what it means to nurture gifts, process pain with humor, and evolve in love and partnership. The episode is rich in personal anecdotes and lessons about staying true to oneself while moving through life’s ups and downs.

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1. Atlanta Energy, Authenticity & Being “On”

[04:07 - 06:33]

• Crystal welcomes Kev, highlighting his authenticity in person and onstage. They bond over Atlanta’s vibrant Black culture and the infamous ATL traffic.
• Kev discusses intentionally being “the same person” everywhere, explaining the importance of genuine presence in an industry that values authenticity:

  “We live in a world of authenticity. If you aren’t who you are, people will find out anyway.” —Kev On Stage [06:07]

• Kev shares why he stopped doing meet-and-greets, emphasizing the human cost of fame:

  “I always love the people, but I can't keep up the energy to make their experience good if I've just done a show… Imagine you just worked your full shift, and instead of going home, you gotta shake 300 hands and take 300 pictures.” —Kev [07:00]

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2. The Misconceptions of Comedy & Kev’s Family Origin Story

[08:11 – 13:47]

• Kev reflects on the unrealistic expectation that comedians are always “on.” He explains how, at home, he is simply himself, not “performing” for his family:

  “Once I leave my house, I am on. But at home, be at the house. I recharge.” —Kev [09:15]

• He shares the roots of his comedy—imitating church antics for his grandmother, realizing very young that humor brought value and attention.
• They discuss the importance of nurturing gifts in children, especially in Black families, and how access (or lack thereof) can impact a prodigy’s opportunities.

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3. Parenting, Generational Differences & Work Ethic

[13:58 – 18:46]

• Crystal asks Kev about nurturing his sons’ gifts. Kev details honoring each child’s unique path: one is behind the camera, the other has innate on-camera charisma.
• Kev references the “tough love” that often shaped Black excellence in previous generations and questions if “simply loving” a child is enough for achieving greatness:

  “We ain’t loved nobody into greatness yet… Love ain’t enough. I got to hate you to get where I want to go.” —Kev, jokingly [16:44]

• The conversation pokes fun at how every generation sees the next as “softer” and contrasts their work ethic with their own parents’ approach to discipline.

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4. Humor as Healing & Processing Grief

[18:51 – 24:56]

• Crystal explores how Kev uses humor not just for escape, but to process—and help others process—difficult realities like grief. Kev traces this skill back to the role of the court jester, offering hard truths laced with laughter:

  “People can listen. Are more open to listening if you've made them laugh.” —Kev [19:23]

• He shares poignant, darkly funny stories from his brother’s funeral, showing how he instinctively processes pain through comedy:

  “When I first saw my brother in the coffin...my initial thought was, this nigga really in here, dead?... Which is not funny, but like, it is funny.” —Kev [23:10]

• On his show Grief Sucks:

  “I think this new show is my way of helping people through grief and also helping myself through grief as well. To me, it's the best use of my comedy that I've done.” —Kev [21:15]

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5. The Realities of Touring, Gratitude, & Money Talk

[27:27 – 34:14]

• Kev opens up about the unpredictability of selling out shows and the financial realities fans face.
• Discussion shifts to the high cost of living and touring (from flight costs to UberEats orders), and humorous anecdotes about his sons’ bougie food requests:

  “My son ordered STK on Uber Eats…I said, can you order that for me? I said, McDonald’s, Chick-Fil-A…” —Kev [30:53]

• Crystal and Kev discuss the legacy of family, sharing a powerful moment when his son expressed genuine gratitude for the loving home he’s experienced.

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6. Intentional Parenting vs. Partnership & Learning from Therapy

[36:04 – 44:11]

• Kev reflects vulnerably on how, striving to be a great father (compensating for his own absent father), he sometimes failed to include his wife in key family moments.
• Therapy helped him realize:

  “Unchecked, you can do hurt and harm with good intention. I just wanted to be a good father. But I realized, oh, I’m stealing moments from [my wife] to make sure I have them.” —Kev [38:01]

• He underscores the need for communicating and course-correcting in relationships for the sake of both parents and children.

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7. Evolving in Marriage: The Phone Analogy

[44:12 – 55:34]

• The conversation turns to marriage and how both partners change, with Crystal and Kev tracing Melissa’s evolution from teen through motherhood and career.
• Kev likens marital evolution to technology upgrades:

  “Being married is like being up to date on your cell phone at all times, reading the terms and conditions, learning how to use it at all times. You can’t skip two or three phones.” —Kev [53:14]

• Emphasizes that “marriage is work,” but more like tending a garden than hard labor—a daily nurturing, not taking the relationship for granted.

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8. Authenticity, Boundaries & Being Unapologetic

[58:27 – 61:01]

• Crystal asks what Kev is unapologetic about in this season of life.
• Kev declares:

  “I am being unapologetically me…You might not like me or what I say. And I’m okay with that…Earlier in my career, I was trying to make every single person happy, and that was not an attainable thing.” —Kev [58:42]

• He talks about not feeding negativity online and choosing when to speak, maintaining his peace and authenticity.

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9. Closing Reflections & Memorable Moments

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On teamwork with his wife:

  “She takes the weight of safety and comfortability so that I can do this. Because…the boys, although 19 and 17, they want a parent around a lot.” —Kev [40:08]

• Crystal’s summary of the episode:

  “Growth doesn't always look like clarity…Sometimes healing isn’t about having the right words. It's about being present, being real, and allowing yourself to keep going.” —Crystal Renee [61:02]

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Key Segments & Timestamps

• 04:07 – 06:33: Authenticity & on-stage persona
• 08:11 – 13:47: The roots of Kev’s comedy & nurturing gifts
• 16:44: Generational work ethic and parenting styles
• 19:23: Humor’s role in truth-telling and coping
• 23:10: Using humor in grief
• 27:27 – 34:14: Realities of touring and finances
• 38:01: Therapy insights on family dynamics
• 44:12 – 55:34: Marriage evolution analogized with cell phone upgrades
• 58:42: Kev on being unapologetically himself
• 61:02: Crystal’s reflection and closing encouragement

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a masterclass in blending humor with honesty, offering encouragement on parenting, partnership, and personal growth. Through candid storytelling, Kev On Stage and Crystal Renee create a space where listeners are reminded that healing and authenticity go hand in hand—even (and especially) when life isn’t sorted out.

To support Kev:
Follow him at @KevOnStage for updates on the “Grief Sucks” tour, upcoming shows, and more content.

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“Stay blessed, stay encouraged, and keep it positive, sweetie.” —Crystal Renee

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Transcript

[Crystal Renee]

This is an I heart podcast.

[Kev On Stage]

Guaranteed human.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes, it's me again.

[Kev On Stage]

We prepped.

[Crystal Renee]

It's the time for empowerment and I've got a message for you.

[Kev On Stage]

Guess who. Guess who. Guess who's back.

[Crystal Renee]

You gotta think about sexual health no matter what, when, when, or with who.

[Kev On Stage]

Yeah.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah. To all you lovers out there, ain't no judgment. This is your cue.

[Kev On Stage]

Guess who. Guess who's back.

[Crystal Renee]

It's time to talk about pre special prophylaxis, a part of HIV prevention. Talk to a healthcare provider and visit carefortheculture. To learn more.

[Michael Easter]

Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance. And now we're customizing this rush hour ad to keep you calm, which could help your driving. And science says therapy is great for a healthy mindset. So enjoy this 14 second session on us. I think you've done everything right and absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, anything that hasn't gone your way could probably be blamed on your father not being emotionally available because his father wasn't emotionally available, and so on. And now that you're calm and healing, you're probably driving better, too.

[Crystal Renee]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Michael Easter]

2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. Put yourself through some hardships and you will come out on the other side

[Kev On Stage]

a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person.

[Michael Easter]

Listen to 2%. That's 2% on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Crystal Renee]

The fourth annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. It's going down Saturday, April 25th at Pullman Yards right here in Atlanta, Georgia. And baby when I Tell y', all, the lineup is stacked, featuring shows from Club 520, grits and eggs, don't Call Me White Girl Show, Reality with the King Drake Champs, and of course, keep it Positive, sweetie. There will also be Black Marketplace with amazing vendors and even a chance for you to pitch your podcast. Guys, I had so much fun last year on the panel, so you guys already know how we do at KIPS Live. We bring in the energy and real conversations. You don't want to miss this, so grab your tickets right [e-mail] podcast festival. Can't wait to see you guys there. Go get your tickets now.

[Kev On Stage]

Get them.

[Crystal Renee]

Calling all my sweeties to the forefront, I'm your host, Chris Renee Hazel, and this is the Keep It Positive Sweetie Show. Welcome to keep it positive, Sweetie. The place where we heal, grow and learn together. Today's guest is a comedian, creator and storyteller who has built his voice on truth, using humor to reflect real life in a way that resonates deeply with so many. I am so glad to be sitting with Kev on stage. Kev on stage is known for his ability to take everyday moments, relationships, family, faith and culture and turn them into something both humorous and honest. But beyond the laughter, he's also creating space for deeper conversations. From his series Safe Space to his hit One man show, Grief Sucks. He's exploring what it looks like to navigate love, loss, growth in real time without pretending that you have to have it all figured out. Sweeties, please give a very warm welcome to my bruv, Kev.

[Kev On Stage]

Praise the Lord, sweeties. Praise the Lord. Don't you start. We're here in the room. We've been trying to make this happen for a long time.

[Crystal Renee]

We have. And you're finally here.

[Kev On Stage]

We're finally here.

[Crystal Renee]

Got you.

[Kev On Stage]

This is great.

[Crystal Renee]

I'm so excited.

[Kev On Stage]

This is great. Thank you for having me.

[Crystal Renee]

No, thank you.

[Kev On Stage]

Of course I know.

[Crystal Renee]

I mean, you're not. You don't live in Atlanta, so. Thank you for telling me.

[Kev On Stage]

I don't live in Atlanta, but when I come, I'll be like, man, I should live here.

[Crystal Renee]

I'm telling you.

[Kev On Stage]

It is so black. Yes. Everything black, everything that's good about being black is here.

[Crystal Renee]

It is. It really is.

[Kev On Stage]

The creatives, the culture, the community, Regular black. It ain't just. Just black people. Southern charm. Traffic I could do without.

[Crystal Renee]

You know, Traffic shouldn't go out to McDonough, though.

[Kev On Stage]

Traffic should not go out to McDonough. It didn't used to go out to McDonough, but they go out.

[Crystal Renee]

McDonough's far.

[Kev On Stage]

So that's the. And low key. I've been telling people it's worse than LA here.

[Crystal Renee]

You think so?

[Kev On Stage]

I do. There's traffic, Beef.

[Crystal Renee]

I have no kid.

[Kev On Stage]

I'm telling Louisiana, in the heart of the city. It makes sense.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Atlanta's traffic is further than the hardest. It's like everywhere. And then the little back roads ain't back road. Everybody over there. Everybody knows you behind that lake. So are we. Yep. I've been using this for you. Ain't no tricks, ain't no tree.

[Crystal Renee]

You are right.

[Kev On Stage]

So.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah, you're absolutely right. That's. I didn't think that. I feel like since 2020 it's gotten

[Kev On Stage]

greater and I think I come to Atlanta two or three, five Times a year over the last six, seven years. It's crazy. And I live in la. I know. Bad traffic.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Atlanta's worst.

[Crystal Renee]

Dang Atlanta.

[Kev On Stage]

We gotta get it together Everybody moving here to chase they dream Listen and

[Crystal Renee]

say that that Mun yon man Kim, thank you so much for coming today. I remember we first officially met. I had been a fan of yours before we actually met, but we met on the Shops HBCU tour at tsu. Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

It was a good time.

[Crystal Renee]

And at that moment, I was like, man, he is who he is. Cause, you know, sometimes you meet people, you've been a fan, but then you meet me, like, ooh, he died with who he say he is.

[Kev On Stage]

I really appreciate that compliment.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

I've been getting that compliment a lot. And I, I work very hard to be who I am.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

All the time. And that doesn't mean I'm perfect.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Like, I, but I, but I genuinely try to be consistent.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

You know what I mean? I don't have this, like, because now, you know, we live in a world of authenticity. You, if you aren't who you are, they will. People will find out anyway.

[Crystal Renee]

Yep.

[Kev On Stage]

So it's not like we ain't wrestlers in the, in the 80s and 90s. There's too many stories, too many people we interact with that we don't know who knows them.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

Especially you and I. You be on set, somebody gonna be on that set that knows somebody else that knows you, so.

[Crystal Renee]

Exactly.

[Kev On Stage]

So I don't, I don't, I don't do that.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

I try not to do that.

[Crystal Renee]

No, that, that is so.

[Kev On Stage]

And that's why I'm honest. I don't do meet and greets.

[Crystal Renee]

You don't do meet and greets?

[Kev On Stage]

I don't do meet and greets.

[Crystal Renee]

Crystal Renee, you missing out.

[Kev On Stage]

I, I, that's when you get to. Really? I did them for years.

[Crystal Renee]

So why'd you stop?

[Kev On Stage]

I'm gonna tell you why I stopped. I'm gonna tell you exactly why. I realized I always love the people, but I can't keep up the energy to make their experience good if I've just done a show.

[Crystal Renee]

You're right, it is hard.

[Kev On Stage]

It's hard. I tell people I've been doing this joke on stage. Like, imagine you just worked your full shift, and then you ready to go home, rub your feet together, and instead of doing that, you gotta shake 300 hands and take 300 pictures.

[Crystal Renee]

That's the perfect analogy.

[Kev On Stage]

You be like, man. And then doing it before a show, I'm like, I Don't want to use all my energy up because the people pay to see me.

[Crystal Renee]

You want to give them that.

[Kev On Stage]

So I can manage it. So I can only do meet and greets if it's. If that's the event.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Because I know, okay, for two hours, three hours, I can give you anything. But after a show, I just say that because I'm not perfect either. There's things about my job that I don't like, but that's really more because I don't want to disappoint people. Not that I don't like people. I love people. I wouldn't be where I am. Wouldn't be sitting here without the people for sure. But I don't want them to be like, oh, man. He was kind of like, he was tired.

[Crystal Renee]

Because I'm human.

[Kev On Stage]

I am tired. Listen. And I likely flew overnight to do this. Like here. I took a red eye last night.

[Crystal Renee]

Wow.

[Kev On Stage]

Sleeping on a plane ain't real.

[Crystal Renee]

It's not real.

[Kev On Stage]

It ain't real. I ain't got no private. I'm on Delta with everybody else. So them seats, that ain't no bear.

[Crystal Renee]

It is dying.

[Kev On Stage]

So I just wanted to. I'm not perfect. Y' all don't do that to me.

[Crystal Renee]

Nobody is perfect. But you know what? I think comedians are in people's eyes somewhat. Don't have. They think you don't have a bad day, or they think that things is like they want you to be on all the time. What kind of pressure does that put on you when you feel like, man, like, I'm really tired or I'm just having a day. But they want make me laugh.

[Kev On Stage]

I don't respond well to make me laugh or tell me a joke. I am not a clown. You don't see no red nose. When you come to see me work, I give you my show. But people are often surprised. They'll be like, list. I bet you has you cracking up at home all the time. No, not really. Cause at home, I don't be like, now listen, tell me. By the time saw this on the Internet, it's like, I gotta take the trash out, feed the dog. We watching Love Overboard. Like, I gotta perform for her, my wife and she, you know, my kids. I ain't funny to them no more anyway, you know, Not Tony Baker. Oh, Tony Baker. We love Tony Baker. Patrick Cloud. But like, I imagine, you know, like, I take the approach that once I leave my house, I am on.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

So if I try to have good energy with anybody I meet, but at home, be at the house.

[Crystal Renee]

It's a recharge.

[Kev On Stage]

I recharge. I enjoy my home, I enjoy my family. I enjoy just chilling, watching YouTube. I'm not like trying jokes out on my family. I mean, I'm funny, but I'm not like performative funny. Exactly.

[Crystal Renee]

I love that. I love that. When did you realize that you were funny?

[Kev On Stage]

Very early. I remember very early. And I. And not only did I realize I was funny, I realized there was a benefit to being funny. And it was very simple. After church, I must have been like five or six years old. I would mimic what happened in church that day. And my grandma, who was very stone faced in church was not like that at home. My grandma would be like, do Sister Daniel shout Kev or what Elder Washington do? And I realized when she let me do that I would like my bed, my bed at 8:00'.

[Crystal Renee]

Clock.

[Kev On Stage]

It's 8:15. She's like, if you do that thing, you can stay home. You stay up.

[Crystal Renee]

Oh wow.

[Kev On Stage]

So I immediately knew I could do something that made people laugh and there was a value to it.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

So I was like, oh, y', all, attention this. I can do this.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

So. And it's so interesting that I was just telling somebody this. I realized what I do now is a version of what I did as a kid.

[Crystal Renee]

Literally.

[Kev On Stage]

Literally. I remember we used to have like talent shows. We would do, you know, people would sing or whatever. I mean my brother would do like sketches in church and we would mix. Like we did a David and Goliath sketch and I was Goliath and he was David. Even though he, my older brother and I did like, we were like, we should do MC Hammer. Can't touch this. And then you slingshot me. So I was like mixing hip hop and R and B into church. Even at like 7, like, I was always aware of what was happening in the world and always current. And Hammer was like, might have been 92. So I must have been nine. Yeah, 91. 92. Whenever Hammer was at his like apex.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

So I realized it's. That's what I do now on the Internet in my shows or whatever. It's like a version of that. And I just been thinking about how much God puts in people very young.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

Like I just did. Do you know Luke?

[Crystal Renee]

Which one?

[Kev On Stage]

Luke Tillman. He's a little kid. He was on J. Jennifer Hudson show.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know exactly. All the fun. Like he does, he does preaching.

[Kev On Stage]

Yes. So we did American Idol invited us last night. Oh, I saw that. And he was like the co host. What? Crystal, there's a we in a set with. You've been on movies like 3, 400, 500 people. We're live on American Idol. He preaching on cue, praying on cue, singing on cue. He's like seven, eight years old. And I told my wife, I said, oh, God, put that in him early. And thankfully for him, his family is nurturing the gift. Because I think a lot of times our gift is there, but it's not always nurtured by our family. And sometimes not because they don't see it. Sometimes they just can't. You know what I mean? But what a gift to have a family and a way to nurture your gift. From 7, 8 years old. There's a little kid on Instagram, he's like nine, He's a fashion designer and his family has spent bread and he's cutting dresses and styling stuff. And it's like your gift is there.

[Crystal Renee]

He's a prodigy.

[Kev On Stage]

Yeah, he's a prodigy. But like how many? Especially black people. We often aren't able to express that at a young age because we don't have access to the same resources. Freedom, even like auditions. You kid in Hollywood, your parents. I couldn't take Isaiah and them to audition. Every boy. You got to get some of these now. Cause I can't keep going up down to one on one. You ain't booking gas. It's gas. I gotta leave work, go to school. Hey, man, you just regular now. You just kid, kid, school. ABC. 1, 2, 3. Cause I can't do it. You can't do it, brother. I can't be taken off work for you to. You maybe not gonna get it right. And I love you.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

But I need you to book one of these.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah, get them booked. Cause you're not booking.

[Kev On Stage]

Exactly. So I just. I think my family didn't push my gift down.

[Crystal Renee]

That's amazing.

[Kev On Stage]

And I had a place to express it, which, you know, interestingly enough, was the black church.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

And my church allowed us to be more than singers and musicians.

[Crystal Renee]

Exactly.

[Kev On Stage]

I was able to do acting and other stuff in addition to singing.

[Crystal Renee]

So that was Churchy before Churchy.

[Kev On Stage]

That was Churchy before Churchy. That's why Churchy was so easy for me to create. Because that was like. That's Shane. We hadn't done an episode that wasn't directly from my life in some way or shape or form. Those characters are. Mother Jean is based on my grandma, and my grandma's name is Ruthie Jean. So, like, these people are just people

[Crystal Renee]

we know, and we resonate. I feel like I was just talking to somebody. It's like, it doesn't matter where you're from. There are certain parts of the black culture that everybody gets.

[Kev On Stage]

Yes. And church is one.

[Crystal Renee]

It is one of them.

[Kev On Stage]

Yes. I totally agree with that. You understand. You ain't had to been there, you know?

[Crystal Renee]

Yes, totally understand. Totally understand. You talked about as a parent, nurturing the gifts. You're a father of two sons. How are you nurturing their gifts now?

[Kev On Stage]

You know, I think it's so interesting. I have two kids who are so different. You wouldn't think they're related, really. So my oldest is. They're both creative, but they're in creative, very different ways. My oldest is behind the camera. He used to do stop motion videos. He'll spend hours animating, like on his iPad, create storylines on wwe. Like, he's always creative writing. He acts too, but his interest is always behind the camera creating the story. My youngest has zero of those interests. But when you put him in front of microphone or camera, he just has something. He has some spark. I remember when they were very young and they were on awesomeness TV and we were getting paid $500 per sketch for me to write, direct, edit, produce, and share the bread with them.

[Crystal Renee]

Wow.

[Kev On Stage]

My youngest would not be wanting to do it. My oldest had the work ethic. He's just like, yo, I'm gonna be on time. I'm gonna do my job whether I want to or not. My youngest was like, David Ruffin, like, I don't do. I ain't doing this today, and I don't feel like it. And I remember telling the people at aw, like, hey, brother, I'm not going to deal with him. Like, I ain't going to do this. They were like, you are. Because when the camera gets on him, he just has something, I think. And he's super competitive in that way. They're both athletic, but my youngest is very competitive. My oldest isn't. So for my oldest, it's like animation subscriptions. Here's my camera. You can do stop motion. Here's how you do that. Here's how you edit. My youngest is like, we'll do a podcast. We used to do a podcast together. He. He was like, let's do one episode. And I was like, let's do six, eight. Get a little season going and call the ads. He was like, nah, let's just do one. But we shoot videos together sometimes. But I also don't put too much pressure on them at this age because I still want them to do it because they really love it. It's not like a desire. I don't have to desire to, like, exploit them. I wish I did. I wish I had like, that, you know, Matthew Knowles, Joe Jackson, you know, King Richard things. Now, we need that. We need them daddies. Them daddies and them mamas.

[Crystal Renee]

You right.

[Kev On Stage]

How you getting the great. If you watch the Olympics, them kids be like, I low key. Hated my parents.

[Crystal Renee]

My parents, yes.

[Kev On Stage]

Because they made me do stuff I didn't want to do because they saw greatness in me. We too nice to the kids.

[Crystal Renee]

You're right.

[Kev On Stage]

Joe Jackson said, y' all got to work.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Michael and them was at work at an adult club at 7. You know, I'm like, oh, my son, I love you. Mental health. Mental health.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

He ain't gonna be Michael Jackson.

[Crystal Renee]

He's not.

[Kev On Stage]

Cause I didn't push him and I didn't whoop him. So, you know, that whooping is bad, but also Michael Jackson bad album. Hello is the whooping. It all works together. We ain't seen no level star with the loving, gentle parent. All I'm saying, all I'm saying, we ain't love nobody into greatness yet. Listen, we've done cool, but we ain't love nobody healthily into greatness. Cause you got to be a little crazy to reach them level, you know, you got to hate. They hated Joe Jackson. They were supposed to sing my life off because I hate you. Love ain't enough. I got to hate you to get where I want to go.

[Crystal Renee]

Literally. That is so crazy because we talk about the work ethic that we have from our generation to now. We're like, gosh, they just, like, quit stuff. And they're just, like, fly by night. I'm like, you gotta stick to something, you know, you gotta have some discipline. And they don't have it.

[Kev On Stage]

You know, it's funny. Every generation says that about the next generation. They said that about us. And I'm like, y', all, that's not me.

[Crystal Renee]

No, it's not.

[Kev On Stage]

That might be my group. Yeah. But it ain't me.

[Crystal Renee]

Right?

[Kev On Stage]

I'm at work. Yes, but think about everybody. Everybody working. Everybody ain't working as hard as you.

[Crystal Renee]

No.

[Kev On Stage]

Even if your millennials.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Everybody ain't working as hard as Sister C. Renee Haisley. Some people just turn it in. They ain't got no studio. You know, you do it all. So I think there's always standouts in average people in any generation. But I feel like we was definitely getting Our whoop, though, for sure. He didn't even let me explain. That's the thing that I don't mind whooping for Wrong. Like, growing up, I got whooped when I was right. And if you would have just let me explain, you would have seen it actually wasn't what you thought.

[Crystal Renee]

Right.

[Kev On Stage]

And then my parents find out later, they ain't gonna undo the whooping and they ain't gonna say sorry. You want something to eat? No. No, actually, I want you to listen. Okay. You have to feed me. If you would have just gave me three seconds, I could have told you what happened. But no, no, no.

[Crystal Renee]

Right.

[Kev On Stage]

Posted in that room. I got that little game you wanted. I wanted the apology. Yeah, I'll take the game.

[Crystal Renee]

I'll take the game.

[Kev On Stage]

But I wanted the apology. Give me the game.

[Crystal Renee]

But I wanted the apology. That is hilarious. At what point did you realize that humor wasn't just a way to, like, get through life, but a way you actually process life? Because I feel like you kind of. I watch you on your Instagram videos, and you kind of talk things through in a humorous way. How do you do that and how do you know?

[Kev On Stage]

I think I realize all the way back to medieval times, the court jester was allowed to speak truth to power because it was laced with humor.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

People can listen. Are more open to listening if you've made them laugh. They'll even let you get on him a little bit if you're making them laugh. So I think comedy definitely has a place in speaking truth to power. Right. Drew Ski does a good job of this. When he did the megachurch pastors thing, there's people who were rightfully upset, but at the same time, the argument. You can't argue that he's coming up with nothing. Out of nowhere, you're giving him something. We've seen these videos. I've seen Zipline Pastor. I seen Dior Jacket. So he's able to make that video. And then people are like, well, let's talk about this. Because it didn't come out of thin air. It wouldn't ring true if it came out thin air. Same thing with the conservative video that he did. People are upset, but I remember some of those clips where he did it almost verbatim. Obviously, he's adding humor to it as well. But if you think about George Carlin and Eddie Murphy, great comedians have always had the ability to speak truth to power, to speak to something larger and kind of COVID it with honey through jokes. And I think my new Grief Sucks show is that Ability for grief. I think, you know, I had people die, but I don't. I never grieved the way I grieve. When I lost my brother and I started just making videos, I didn't have a desire or never thought I could even do, stand up about grief. But every video I made, which I wasn't even necessarily being funny per se, I was just sharing what I would. I mean, it was funny, but it's not like funny haha. It's more like, oh my gosh, more relatable funny.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

But I would see the comments of like, oh my God, thank you. I thought I was the only one. Things like that. And I think this new show is my way of helping people through grief and also helping myself through grief as well. And I think it's. To me, it's the best use of my comedy that I've done.

[Crystal Renee]

Wow.

[Kev On Stage]

I think it's the. I wouldn't say my comedy's ever helped people process before. I think I've made you laugh and made you forget about your problems, that type of stuff, which also has its. Its place. Because the world sucks, basically.

[Crystal Renee]

That's the next show.

[Kev On Stage]

Yeah, the grief sucks, the world sucks. But, you know, we all sit in our driveway after a long day and we want something to just laugh at. I. I definitely can do that. But I think with this show, I'm able to help you process something that you're going through or you will go through. Like, that's the thing about grief. If you're blessed to live a long life, grief is inevitable.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

You won't live to 70 or 80 without losing someone or something you love. Even though grief isn't all depth, like, sometimes you grieve friendships.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

People who are alive and healthy and y' all just go separate ways. Like, that's also grief. Grief jobs, you lost all kinds of things. So I think that's what humor is to me right now.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

But at the same time, I'll always be able to just make people laugh in that.

[Crystal Renee]

You created the show. Grief sucks. Like you said, death is something that we are all. Nobody can escape it.

[Kev On Stage]

Right.

[Crystal Renee]

Right in that moment. How did you handle that before it turned into humor?

[Kev On Stage]

The crazy thing, it turned into humor instantly, really. I just think it's the way I see the world. Like you were saying, it is how I process things. It's not the only way. But jokes come to me the way I imagine a fish naturally swims. It's like I actually have to stop myself and be like, I don't Know if it might be too early, right.

[Crystal Renee]

Too soon.

[Kev On Stage]

So I had a lot of internal things that I'm noticing, not even putting them in a place. But, like, when I first. I kid you not, Crystal. When I first saw my brother in the coffin for the first time, my initial thought was, this nigga really in here, dad? No joke.

[Crystal Renee]

Wow.

[Kev On Stage]

I said, well, I can't say that my grandma here, right? And this ain't the place. And I'm like, this nigga, you get up, right? Get out of these people's stuff.

[Crystal Renee]

Right?

[Kev On Stage]

Which is not funny, but, like, it is funny, you know? And I remember when I was calling the funeral home, I spoke to this lady for, like, 10 minutes. I said, hey, you know, because it's my first time planning a funeral.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Said, hey, you know, how do you get the body to actually said, my name is Kevin. My brother passed away. It's my first time. How do you get the body from the hospital to the morgue? And if he wants to get buried somewhere else, do you guys handle this? How do you. You know, who does an autopsy on the body? I asked her all these questions, and she said, wait, are you the body? And I said, now, Nancy, I done say the body. My brother's body.

[Crystal Renee]

How am I the body?

[Kev On Stage]

How can I be the body if I'm talking to you? If I'm the body that I'm talking about right now, dad, you should start praying right now. Cause that could. What that mean for you? Yes. If the body's making its own plans. Dead and alive. So I made that video out of frustration, and it went crazy. People were like, I have struggled with that. I said, I expect people at funeral homes to be good at their job.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

If you're at Chipotle, you forget my cheese. That's fine.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

If you don't know the person that dead is alive, it's a big problem.

[Crystal Renee]

It's a big problem.

[Kev On Stage]

So I think in that way, humor just is. It is my. It's part of my process, but it's not the only thing. I definitely cried and anger, frustration, all the other parts of grief. But I think humor is my mechanism for processing anything, you know? And I definitely have to, like, keep it at bay sometimes to make sure. Because a lot of comedy is timing, and sometimes you're too early. People like, hey, that ain't. It ain't funny yet.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

I wasn't ready exactly.

[Crystal Renee]

For sure. Grandma would have definitely, like, right. Give me a minute. Oh, my goodness.

[Michael Easter]

Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance and now we're customizing this rush hour ad to keep you calm, which could help your driving. And science says therapy is great for a healthy mindset. So enjoy this 14 second session on us. I think you've done everything right and absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, anything that hasn't gone your way could probably be blamed on your father not being emotionally available because his father wasn't emotionally available, and so on. And now that you're calm and healing, you're probably driving better too.

[Crystal Renee]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Michael Easter]

2%. That is the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available. I'm Michael Easter, and on my podcast, 2%, I break down the science of mental toughness, fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world. I'll be speaking with writers, researchers, and other health and fitness experts and more to look past the impractical and way too complex pseudoscience that dominates the wellness industry.

[Crystal Renee]

We really believed that seed oils were inherently inflammatory. We got it wrong. Many of the problems that we are freaked out about in the world are the result of stress.

[Michael Easter]

Put yourself through some hardships and you will come out on the other side

[Kev On Stage]

a happier, more fulfilled, healthier person.

[Michael Easter]

Listen to 2%. That's 2% on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Crystal Renee]

The fourth annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. It's going down Saturday, April 25th at Pullman Yards right here in Atlanta, Georgia. And baby when I Tell y', all, the lineup is stacked, featuring shows from Club 520, grits and eggs, Don't Call Me White Girl, show reality with a Drake Champs, and of course, keep it positive, sweetie. There will also be Black Marketplace with amazing vendors and even a chance for you to pitch your podcast. Guys, I had so much fun last year on the panel. So you guys already know how we do at KIPS Live. We bring in the energy and real conversations. You don't want to miss this. So grab your tickets right [e-mail] forward slash podcast festival. Can't wait to see you guys there. Go get your tickets now. Get them sold out shows so grief you've had. So how does that feel to come up with this?

[Kev On Stage]

And then it's like, believe it or not, I am genuinely surprised every single time a show sold well, that's good. I am like, because none of this is given right and you got to stay relevant, stay interesting. We can't control the economy, gas prices, all these things, people's and people's choices. I Can't control the things in your life. So to convince enough people to spend $10, $30 just on a ticket. And I'm well aware that it's never just a ticket. It's ticket parking, babysitter, maybe dinner. Sometimes you're flying or driving, so it's gas. Like a 30 ticket can cost you four or five hundred dollars. Maybe you took off work early.

[Crystal Renee]

You got to get your hair done.

[Kev On Stage]

Yeah, I got to, I got to get lined up. You know, I'm bald. But it is genuinely surprising every time. For whatever reason, I always think I'm gonna fall off.

[Crystal Renee]

Really? I always think, you know, I feel like that may be like a great place to kind of sit though. So like, it shows you, like, you're not in control. Like, so every time it's like, you know what you did that.

[Kev On Stage]

That's a good point.

[Crystal Renee]

I feel like we get too ahead of ourselves. It's like.

[Kev On Stage]

Yeah. Because it's not a given, you know, And I can come to like, Atlanta's a city I do well in pretty much every time. But that sometimes they jump out early, sometimes it's closer to the end. Yeah.

[Crystal Renee]

Sometimes the day of you be like,

[Kev On Stage]

you know, so it's always a fear of mine. And I don't sell out every show and I make it pretty obvious when I'm doing poorly because it's just, it's a part of. It's a part of the game.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

But I am super grateful that people take their hard earned money and give it me to. To me to make them laugh for a night. I don't take that for granted at all. It's really a blessing to me and a blessing to them in the sense of like entertainment. But it's not, it's not guaranteed. You know, we see artists, musicians, athletes, artists, entertainers canceling tours, canceling shows. Cause low ticket sales. That's devastating.

[Crystal Renee]

It is.

[Kev On Stage]

You know, it's like, what did I do? I ain't funny no more. And it ain't.

[Crystal Renee]

It's not that.

[Kev On Stage]

It could be a myriad of reasons. Maybe you ain't funny no more, maybe you ain't connecting. But it also could be, man, I ain't got no job.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Child support up. Gas is up.

[Crystal Renee]

Everything is up.

[Kev On Stage]

Flights are, Flights out of Atlanta are crazy right now. Listen, what is happening at down to Hartsville Jackson? These flights is out with a straight face. Delta to 1200.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah. When, when for the regular.

[Kev On Stage]

Listen, $1200 for regular seat.

[Crystal Renee]

Those flights ate my whole budget up for this next business Trip. I said, what?

[Kev On Stage]

Listen, I have a production coming up next week. I had to cut back the amount of cast that I could fly, cuz I'm like, I can't. We budgeted 950 a flight.

[Crystal Renee]

And that's a lot.

[Kev On Stage]

That's a lot. That should be under every city in America for the most part. If you're out far enough, that should be under budget. Yeah, Atlanta was like 12, $1300 for main cabin seats.

[Crystal Renee]

Crazy.

[Kev On Stage]

I'm here in Atlanta by myself. Cause I usually bring my team, but it's like at those prices, I can't. I can't afford to do it. I got kids.

[Crystal Renee]

I got kids.

[Kev On Stage]

I'm finna have two kids in college. You know what my son said? My son ordered STK on Uber Eats.

[Crystal Renee]

Stk.

[Kev On Stage]

He said, stk.

[Crystal Renee]

Oh, that's it.

[Kev On Stage]

I said, can you order that for me? I said, oh, okay. McDonald's chick fil a Jersey, Mike. Chick Fil A. Then he go and say. I said, okay, man. Cause I was ordering it for myself.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah, hilarious.

[Kev On Stage]

I said, how do you want your steak? He said, medium rare. I said, medium rare. Why? He was like, you know, the time it travels from there to here. It cooks up to how I like it. I said,

[Crystal Renee]

I said, I've ordered this before. Hold up, hold up.

[Kev On Stage]

The time it travels. How you even thinking like that, right? And he said, if I want to reheat it, then it'll be well, yeah. So can't have. Well, can't do that. I said, man, look at God, won't he do it? Cause I never even thought to do that, right? I never even got to pick dinner. Really? What's for dinner? That's not even a question. I got to ask. Hamburger Helper Rice a Roni. Shut up. It's one of the two gonna be in there. Spaghetti from Thursday on Tuesday. And that man said, medium rare. Cause it finishes cooking while it sits. Wow.

[Crystal Renee]

Baby, that's a.

[Kev On Stage]

What a mighty God we serve.

[Crystal Renee]

What a mighty God.

[Kev On Stage]

What a mighty God.

[Crystal Renee]

What he doin'? Listen. And that's what you do it for. So your son can order STK on Uber Eats.

[Kev On Stage]

And the funny thing about it is I said that story. Cause they both go to college and they want to stay at home. And they're like, probably feels good. You know what? I ain't gonna hold you, Crystal. My son went on a retreat. My son goes to private Catholic school. And they went on like a little retreat that was like Christianity based. Like, because it's a private Catholic school, you don't have to go, but it's like a tradition. And he was sharing with us when he came back. You know, we used to go to, like, little revivals, teen retreats. We used to come back on fire for God. Like, I'm sorry, God, I was kissing before. I'm gonna kiss no more. And I did a little hunchin', but I ain't gonna hunch at the last lock. And I did touch that girl butt, but she said I could, cuz that was locking was a little bit of sin how I was raised. But at that. After that retreat, that revival, that team revival, I came back on fire. I spoke in tongues. God, I'm sorry for everything. So it was like the Catholic version of that, with no Holy Ghost in the sense that we have. And he gave us the greatest compliment. He was saying, like, you know, a lot of the kids were sharing, like, their parents are abusive or they are, you know, drunk or not in their life. And he said. When he. He said he never realized when it was his turn, he was like, hey, my parents are nice. They are at home. They are. You know. And he was like. He didn't real, like, he's like, I knew I had good parents, yeah, but I never. Cause all these kids were holding all their stuff in. It was like a real. Like, they were all breaking down their walls and stuff. We had, like a little ceremony where all the kids talked about it, they crying and stuff. It was crazy. And he was like, I didn't realize how much I appreciated you guys and how easy my life has been because of what you've done. And this ain't. He's not talking about money. He's talking about love, respect, treating him well, not being abusive. He's like, I don't. You guys never yell. I never even heard you guys yell at each other. He's heard us argue, and I think there's a difference. A lot of times parents try not to have any conflict in front of kids. You have to teach them how to do everything.

[Crystal Renee]

Exactly.

[Kev On Stage]

You have to teach them how to even have conflict safely. I've never cussed at Melissa. She never cussed at me. Ain't never threw no plate. I don't talk crazy to her. She don't talk crazy to me. But we have had discussions. Amen.

[Crystal Renee]

Amen.

[Kev On Stage]

In front of our kids. Because that's also modeling that behavior.

[Crystal Renee]

It is.

[Kev On Stage]

So that was the best compliment I was telling my son. I checked with him a lot, like, how we do it as parents. I don't want y' all to go therapy. And my oldest son said to me, like, two days ago, he's like, you never notice how we always want to be at home.

[Crystal Renee]

Wow.

[Kev On Stage]

Given the choice to do other things, like, we come home, we didn't go away to college, even. We'd be international. Like, we prefer home. He was like, that's the proof that you guys are doing a good job. So I think that you went in

[Crystal Renee]

your room and cried, didn't you?

[Kev On Stage]

I was like Will Smith at the end of happiness.

[Crystal Renee]

Prison happiness.

[Kev On Stage]

Cause that's 18, 19 years of doing the right thing. You can't just turn it in. Ain't no money gonna fix that. Like kids with money. Money does not replace time. Like, I had to go to my son's games.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

Them soccer games these last two seasons. Them boys getting blown out on club.

[Crystal Renee]

I'm still there.

[Kev On Stage]

We paying $1,000 to go watch y' all get smacked around in San Diego. Now I got to drive back. You sleep and musty. And I got to drive back. Windows down. I can still smell you. Are your shoes off?

[Crystal Renee]

Come on, bro.

[Kev On Stage]

Let's just stop by this little Marriott, take you a little shower. Let's spend the night. And I was asking my son. I was like. He was like. I was like, have we went to enough games? He was like, you guys have been to games my whole life. We going to away games. They getting smacked around in soccer, volleyball. These teams have been losing a lot lately. But we be in there clapping it up. Because money doesn't replace that.

[Crystal Renee]

No.

[Kev On Stage]

You can only earn that through time. And we have spent the time with our kids to earn their love and respect and all that type of stuff. I think that might be one of the things I'm most proud of, is, like, being a good father to them. But if I can be honest, Crystal Renee Hazlett. Sometimes I was a better father than a husband, and I was a better father at the expense of being a good husband without knowing, because I didn't have my real dad in my life.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

So I remember early on, like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna rectify that.

[Crystal Renee]

Yep.

[Kev On Stage]

But what that unchecked. Unchecked, I. I made my wife miss out on moments.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Right. Like, for example, I travel a lot for work. She doesn't travel that much, so when I travel for work, she stays at home. They might go to the movies, but they don't do nothing crazy.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

I remember one time. This must have been, like, 10 years ago, because I've learned. It took a long time to learn 18 years ago, she went out of town for something. I immediately took the boys to Vegas. Father, son trip, Mandalay Bay. Just had a great weekend. And she's like, why would you. We could have did that on any weekend.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

And in my head, I'm not. I wasn't on purpose, like, excluding her.

[Crystal Renee]

Right.

[Kev On Stage]

I was just doing things that I thought I wish my dad had did for me. Got our kids a PlayStation. My son's a PlayStation.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Terrible calf with a good heart. We agreed to get him a PlayStation. We go give it to him together. She getting her hair done.

[Crystal Renee]

I can't wait.

[Kev On Stage]

I said, surprise. Sent her the video. I don't see no laughing emojis, no heart. Why would you do that before I got home? Cause my real dad wasn't in my life. I didn't even know. It took me going to therapy to realize. And here's the other part. It's dangerous if you don't think you're doing bad, you're not aware of what it looks like to other people. Unchecked, you can do hurt and harm with good intention.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

I just wanted to be a good father. But I realized, oh, I'm stealing moments from you to make sure I have them. And my therapist, I remember she was so good. I had a personal therapist. Therapists. And we had a couple's therapists. And she was like, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing, but if you're not doing it, if you don't even know why you're doing it, you're trying to. You're trying to heal yourself.

[Crystal Renee]

Yep.

[Kev On Stage]

And your kids appreciate that. But you're doing at the expense of your wife.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

And I was like, oh, snap.

[Crystal Renee]

Wow.

[Kev On Stage]

But luckily for me, I was able to stop that, you know, 10, 10, 12 years into. And it wasn't all the time. That was just like a little period. It was like a little period because first 10 years we was broke. Ain't no joy.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

We're doing everything together. Cause it's all free.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

Park, picnic, zoo, museum, ferry. We went on a boat, y'. All. Yes. Because it was free.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

We went to Canada, y'. All. And we came right back. You don't know that. It was a day trip. We took the pictures like it was a lot. We came right back home.

[Crystal Renee]

Right.

[Kev On Stage]

But there was a little period. We doing a little get. So I could do things.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

And in that three to five year period, I did maybe five, ten things like that. And in my mind, I'm like, I'm doing A good job. And Melissa had to tell me like, yo, you're like, robbing me of these memories. It's unfair. And I'm like, ego wise. I'm like, nigga, I'm great father, right? She was like, yeah, but I want to be a great mother. And more importantly, I would not do that to you. And I have not done that to you. And I actually have way more opportunities to do that because you're gone. But I don't do you like that. And I was like, dang. So I say all that to say, like, it's so important to be open to hearing from people. Because I could have went online and, you know, my wife tripping about this, man.

[Crystal Renee]

Women could.

[Kev On Stage]

Ain't nobody. And I would have got the answer I was looking for. But it wasn't the truth.

[Crystal Renee]

Right?

[Kev On Stage]

Because the truth is she was right and I was wrong even trying to be right.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah, I love that.

[Kev On Stage]

Thank you.

[Crystal Renee]

I love that, and I love you. And Melissa was supposed to come today. Melissa, where are you?

[Kev On Stage]

You know what? This is part of the theme.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

She takes the. The. The weight of safety and. And comfortability for so that I can do this. Because the boys, although 19 and 17, they want a parent around a lot. Remember early touring? Melissa used to tour with me, and we had, like, a babysitter, and she would keep them for the weekend. Did this for a full year. The second year, my youngest was like, we had to go to therapy with him. Cause it was, like, affecting him. And he was like, can at least one of you guys be home? And Melissa was like, I'm out. Yeah, I am done.

[Crystal Renee]

Can't do it.

[Kev On Stage]

I can't do this to this baby. So that's why I would say it's our dream. Because she is taking the weight of missing out on things like this because she wanted to come. But, you know, it's my son's senior year. He got soccer and driving and all that type of stuff. And also, she just wants to be able to cook meals so they're not ordering out. Even though we have access to those things. She wants to make sure they have, like. Cause they'll be like, when y' all coming home? What time will y' all be gone? You know what I'm saying? Like, they love a real Nick. You know what I'm saying? Even though my oldest wants to know for us to be home, for him to be out till 3, 4, 5 in the morning, but he wants us to be.

[Crystal Renee]

Oh, Crystal, I remember you talking about that.

[Kev On Stage]

Oh, it ain't Never enough. We go to the family dinner, get home, 10:30. He's like, all right, see y' all later. Where you going to stay home. Love us. But she takes those moments so that I can do this for myself, for us. And so the boys have some semblance of tradition. You know, she doesn't do it all the time, but she does it a lot of the time. So we're slowly easing out of that as they'll both be in college this fall. And even though they'll be at home, it's like, okay, now. Now y' all grown now. Hey, you 18 and 20.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes. Mama gotta have a life.

[Kev On Stage]

Mama got to have a life. Mama got to go down to keep it positive.

[Crystal Renee]

Come on, cuz.

[Kev On Stage]

I'm going to be her armor bearer when she come down here.

[Crystal Renee]

I know that's right.

[Kev On Stage]

But I love. I love traveling with her. And she comes a lot, but she also had. And sometimes it's just like she has her own podcast. She has her own things to shoot. That's something else I had to learn. Crystal.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah, come on, talk about it. Low key.

[Kev On Stage]

I wanted a kept woman. I did not realize it. Cause I didn't have enough money to keep her early. She made more than me. I was kept, kept, kept, kept, kept. I did not realize internally. I always wanted a kept woman, but I did not marry a kept woman. I married a girl who was ambitious, independent, had her own money, had her own job, always. And I love those qualities. But low key. I always. When I start getting a little bread, I'm like, why you ain't got to work? What you doing in the big cab? What you have that little aerospace job? Like, I ain't got it. What you doing? Going to work. She liked her job. She was good at her job. She had work friends. She enjoyed her own thing.

[Crystal Renee]

Exactly.

[Kev On Stage]

You know what I mean? She had those things. And I remember when she started her podcast, way back with her homegirl. I remember coming home off the road. I want her to be at the door, pot roast. Cause I'm a man. I done went and sold out these three shows. I want steak and potatoes on the table when I get home. I came home, this girl ain't no food. He like, I don't smell nothing but recording equipment hissing. She in the back room shooting her podcast.

[Crystal Renee]

I know that's right.

[Kev On Stage]

I said, well, I. I want potatoes.

[Crystal Renee]

Where to make potatoes?

[Kev On Stage]

Realize your life is your life.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Ooh, my life is my life. And then there's our life. I can't dominate your life. And make you do everything that I want to do because then you have no life and it's unfair to impress my hopes, dreams for you. For sure, I have to work within what you want for your own life because we've committed ourselves to each other, but not our entire everything. And resentment is one of the key tenants to divorce.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

Like, and resentment is small. It's. It's in the back and it gnaws on you. It's like an erosion thing. It's like he gets to do his thing. I can't do my thing. I'm always with the kids. You hear it in Michelle Obama, like, you always get little things like you go to gym whenever you want, you know, things like that. So I had to realize I'm trying to craft her into the perfect woman for me and not allowing her to be. Be the woman who lives her own life. Wow. And that means sometimes she's not going to come with me, Sometimes she won't be at my show. I was holding her to a low key crystal and I'm talking a lot.

[Crystal Renee]

I love it.

[Kev On Stage]

Therapy made me realize I was trying to replace my childhood where my parents weren't there with my wife in my adult life.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes. Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

I want because low key. My Melissa, as my girlfriend went to more basketball games in my high school last two years than anybody in my family did. My parents were at work or they just didn't come. You know, my brother's sister at school doing their own thing. But Melissa was in there.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

So I look into the crowd. I'm seeing her in the stands. So now I want you to be at every show. And she was like, I heard these jokes, like,

[Crystal Renee]

I mean, coming to the

[Kev On Stage]

scene, she's like, I don't want to always. Like, I got stuff to do. You know what I'm saying? So I had again in therapy, I found out, I said, I'm putting an unfair weight on you to be my mom and dad and my real dad. You a fully realized adult who has her own idea of what that day should look like.

[Crystal Renee]

Right.

[Kev On Stage]

So that sometimes means that she's not there. So I appreciate her more when she is there. And sometimes she has her own thing and I support her. You know what I mean? She gets booked to speak or whatever. I'll come, I'll do her social media. I'll be her armor bearer.

[Crystal Renee]

I love that.

[Kev On Stage]

But I can't require that for her, for me, for everything.

[Crystal Renee]

Right.

[Kev On Stage]

And have her be happy.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes, exactly. I love that. And I love that you all were able to Communicate even from parenting to relationship and what you need as individuals. That is so important. Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

22 years married. It'll be 22 years in June. Yeah. 27 years total. Is that correct? Yeah. We started dating. No. 26 years total. I'm sorry.

[Crystal Renee]

Wow.

[Kev On Stage]

And in that time she's changed and I've changed every two or three years.

[Crystal Renee]

Let's talk about evolution and like oh my gosh. Cause people thinking who are you now? Like you're gonna continue to evolve.

[Kev On Stage]

Think about it like who you were at 16, what you knew, what you thought you knew. Yeah, right. That's what we knew.

[Crystal Renee]

Everything. Didn't know nothing.

[Kev On Stage]

We didn't even know what we didn't know ain't pay the bill. I know how to be on my own.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah, okay, right.

[Kev On Stage]

16. So at 16, living in her parents house, no car, no job, full time job, no responsibilities, college, Melissa. And these are just the big ones. These aren't the small things. I'm just talking about. When I first met her, she just finished puberty two or three years prior. I met her at 16. Puberty, what, 12, 13, maybe up to 15. 16 still growing. Not even as tall as she's supposed to be.

[Crystal Renee]

Right.

[Kev On Stage]

16, 18 were in college. We get married after our junior year of college.

[Crystal Renee]

Wow.

[Kev On Stage]

So now this is married Melissa. Right. Who is a church girl who only knows purity, culture and what her mom taught her and what her pastors in. First Leah said she hasn't, you know, at that age we haven't had our own thoughts.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

These are just the thoughts that were impressed upon us. Then there's out of college Melissa, but married.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Right. I was the first person she lived with that wasn't, you know, related to. She was a virgin. We got married first. Peen. Only peen. Amen.

[Crystal Renee]

Come on.

[Kev On Stage]

Amen.

[Crystal Renee]

Shout out right now.

[Kev On Stage]

Now there's Melissa, the mother. Right. She gets pregnant. We're 23.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

The mother. Now mind you, Melissa was a very career oriented woman. I won't say that she didn't want kids because it wasn't that. But her dreams were like, I want to go on Wall Street, I want to wear a pencil skirt, have a briefcase. Like want to be a lawyer, want to be a banker. Like so now she's a mother. So now she's realizing, oh dang, my, my desires are changing.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Now I desire to be a mother. Like it's important for me to you know, scrapbook, things like that. So zero kids to one kids, big change. One kid to two kids, big change.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Her parents Got divorced. That had a tremendous impact on us, on her, because she idolized that relationship. So now if my parents got divorced, that means anybody can get divorced.

[Crystal Renee]

Right. Cause we don't. Not my parents.

[Kev On Stage]

Not my parents who both saved in the church. They got divorced.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Easily. Kevin and I can get divorced. That wasn't a thought prior.

[Crystal Renee]

Right. Now it's a reality that it could.

[Kev On Stage]

Yes. Then there's Kevin, the husband, who I had always had a job, kept a job. That's one of the things she loved about me. Now Kevin wants to be something more. Don't really know how to do that. So I end up getting fired. So now, wait, hold up. You fired? And then I'm telling her, low key. I kind of want to do comedy for a living from Tacoma. That ain't even possible. And it really wasn't to her credit. But I believed.

[Crystal Renee]

I know that's right.

[Kev On Stage]

So now you got to stay at home. Husband.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

And with a huge ego.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

That she was careful to. To manage, you know.

[Crystal Renee]

Wow.

[Kev On Stage]

Then I, you know, I'm telling her I want to move to LA later. Then there's Melissa. The new family in LA with no bread. We both worked at Boeing. Part of that when kids were in private school. There was eight kids in my son's school. They had iPads like we were killing it.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Both making 60 grand a year to us. We over 100 grand as a household.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Broke boy, y'.

[Crystal Renee]

All. What y' all talking about?

[Kev On Stage]

We with the plane people. We out here with the planes.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

You feel me? I gotta badge into my job. Listen, you just walking your job, nigga. You the walker. I got a file. I got a badge. Melissa had government clearance at her job. Security clearance. So that was a version fresh in la. No money, married to a dreamer. And it ain't clicking right right now. I know people owed me $25 for acting. I need that.

[Crystal Renee]

Run it.

[Kev On Stage]

I need that 25. You said Friday, which is Friday. I don't got no gas. Where's the 25?

[Crystal Renee]

Which is why you pay people on time today.

[Kev On Stage]

This is why I don't want nobody patting their pockets for me. Right. And here's the thing. I'm struggling cause my company's growing. I always pay people a lot on time because I was selling them or cash apping them. My finance team business manager is like, stop. Hey, man, you can't do that. No, but the thing is they're. They're growing. And big company running payroll.

[Crystal Renee]

Yep.

[Kev On Stage]

There's things out of my control.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

But if they go on TikTok. They're not gonna say, Kev's finance team.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Transpose a number. It's gonna be Kev on stage. Pay me. But that part's now out of my control.

[Crystal Renee]

It is.

[Kev On Stage]

Yeah.

[Crystal Renee]

Because you're a business.

[Kev On Stage]

Because now I'm a business, and I. I don't. I don't want to get audited.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

You know, my finance manager was like, it's not a. If you get audited when. It's when.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

And. And what the penalty is going to be. So now I can't. Like, my toes are like this. Because this person's check is late. Because I remember 25. Like, I literally know my kids are like, where's the. We don't know. Capri Suns. And I'm like, that 25 supposed to be here today. I was gonna get the Capri Suns. I had y', all, but they ain't got me my 25.

[Crystal Renee]

Right.

[Kev On Stage]

You know, and it was never that bad, but it was close. Like, I need all my bread.

[Crystal Renee]

Nothing can be laid.

[Kev On Stage]

Nothing can be laid. So there's Kev at that point, then there's Kev at all deaf.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

And then there's a realization that when we started working together in this part of the pandemic, she enjoyed her job.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

When I worked at all deaf and she worked at her aerospace company, we could come home and talk about our days.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

When we work together, we're having the same day.

[Crystal Renee]

Nothing to talk about.

[Kev On Stage]

So now we're like, why we ain't really connecting.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Because we've been in the house all day. And that's just. You know, the pandemic exacerbates that to the nth degree. Like, oh, Kev's not even on the road.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Why is he going in his office and closing the door and watching tv, and the boys are in their room watching tv, and we didn't realize. And she used to go get her hair done and get her nails done and stuff like that, and she realized, oh, that was my me time. Now we don't have that.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Why do I feel weird that we're at home? We don't feel like we're at home. So then I say, it's like, I had a cell phone. I know you probably did for 20 years. Think about the cell phone. You had your first Nokia, probably, with the little snake. And think about the iPhone you have probably right now. Imagine if you went from that phone to that iPhone with nothing in between.

[Crystal Renee]

Wow.

[Kev On Stage]

Yeah. And that's what happens. In marriage.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah. Ooh.

[Kev On Stage]

You gotta every phone, every update, you gotta learn this new and just iPhone enough headphone jack O dang, I ain't got that now I gotta get AirPods now I gotta charge the this now this thing used to not be there, but from the Nokia Snake when we started dating to the iPhone 17.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

If I wasn't up to date on every. And think about how little the changes feel at the time. It's just like, oh, dang, man. Yeah, I. I used to be able. We used to take pictures. They used to be grainy.

[Crystal Renee]

Uhhuh.

[Kev On Stage]

All that stuff. Now you can shoot. There's a new app. You can dual shot recorder.

[Crystal Renee]

You can. I just saw that black own too, man. I saw that.

[Kev On Stage]

That didn't exist.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Two weeks ago. Right. So that's what I use as an example. Is like being married is like being up to date on your cell phone at all times, reading the terms and conditions, learning how to use it at all times. You can't skip two or three phones. You definitely can't skip five or 10 years. And a lot of times I think what happens, people don't realize they haven't been paying attention. And that's how I think you look at a person you recognize. I recognize the cell phone, but I actually don't know how to use it anymore. It's like this is not an Android disc

[Crystal Renee]

money.

[Kev On Stage]

But one time I did a. I did a gig and they gave me a free Android like a phone to use and I couldn't. It's not that I couldn't use it, but it just felt so foreign because I haven't had an Android in years. And I was like, wow, this feels really uncomfortable, but this feels like a phone. I know what a phone looks like, but I can't. How do you call? How do you text?

[Crystal Renee]

Right.

[Kev On Stage]

I said I can't do that. And I imagine Android to iPhone is the same thing. I'm not dissing y'.

[Crystal Renee]

All.

[Kev On Stage]

I don't diss no more because my Android app uses botmi and they don't play listen. But I feel like that's what happens in a relationship. It just feels. Start to feel foreign even though it looks familiar.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Oh, I killed that.

[Crystal Renee]

You did. Y'. All.

[Kev On Stage]

Give it a clip it. Clip it.

[Crystal Renee]

That was so good. That's a whole teaser right there.

[Kev On Stage]

But I think when people say marriage is work, they think it means like hard. I hate. It's not that. It's just like. It's like gardening.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

You gotta go out there and till it and water it, protect it from the sun. You gotta nurture it. And that's the work. It's not like breaking rocks.

[Crystal Renee]

Right.

[Kev On Stage]

But it's also. You can't leave a garden unattended for weeks and months and expect it to bear good fruit.

[Crystal Renee]

For sure.

[Kev On Stage]

You have to pay it. Good gardeners are out there every day pulling bugs off. Whatever it takes to make sure this is always bearing good fruit. And marriage is like a continual garden. It's like working out and eating right. You can't. If you stop working out and eating right, the work also stops for sure. You start gaining back. It's the same thing. And it's. But. But I. I enjoy the fruit of this work.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

So I don't mind doing it because although it's hard and, you know, you know, tough, the benefits are amazing. I can't imagine. I can't imagine trying to date right now. And what I see from people. It looks like the Thriller music video. That's what y'. All. The way y' all talk. The way people talk about it. I mean, it seems scary out there. I don't. It's funny. It's like zombie apocalypse. Like, I don't want to be out there with y'.

[Crystal Renee]

All.

[Kev On Stage]

Right. Like, I Like in my house.

[Crystal Renee]

Chelsea, stay where you at. Do not come out here. You gonna be running back.

[Kev On Stage]

I'm sorry, baby.

[Crystal Renee]

I'm sorry. I'm coming home. No, seriously, Ken, this has been amazing.

[Kev On Stage]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Crystal Renee]

Seriously, we gotta do this more often.

[Kev On Stage]

Absolutely.

[Crystal Renee]

Melissa has to do this. Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Melissa for sure wants to come back. We'll be back in Atlanta two or three times in this month.

[Crystal Renee]

Okay.

[Kev On Stage]

So I would love to have her next time. We can have her on, but thank you so much.

[Crystal Renee]

Absolutely.

[Kev On Stage]

Also, let me give you your flowers while we're here. You are so talented as a person. You read that Bible on your Instagram stories. You either really reading it or you spend so much time faking, you might as well have read it.

[Crystal Renee]

I read it. Amy.

[Kev On Stage]

You read. You're so photogenic and fashion forward.

[Crystal Renee]

Thank you.

[Kev On Stage]

I be like your poses. Me and Lissa look. And she'd be like that. Crystal Renee done it again. She went down to Paris and she did it again. But more importantly, your personality and your spirit is as warm as you come across on screen in person. Just like you said about me. It's true about you. Sometimes that is a facade.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Sometimes the actor is acting all the other times. And Crystal Renee is the character. But you have the same character from the Moment I met you at TSU to bet when you thought I said you was eating ham, you was eating lamb.

[Crystal Renee]

I said, how you know ham?

[Kev On Stage]

You said. I said lamb.

[Crystal Renee]

I said, oh, yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Then you had a lamb, too.

[Crystal Renee]

The precious lamb.

[Kev On Stage]

But I love the community you built. I love this podcast, and I know that there's a. You created a space for women. Women who need it.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

People who need it. And your team has been amazing as well. Everybody was very kind, and it's. You're just great.

[Crystal Renee]

Thank you.

[Kev On Stage]

Thank you so much.

[Crystal Renee]

I received it. Thank you so much.

[Kev On Stage]

Thank you.

[Crystal Renee]

Thank you for having me say that means a lot coming from you.

[Kev On Stage]

Thank you.

[Crystal Renee]

Thank you. Before we leave, is there anything that our community can support you on?

[Kev On Stage]

Yes.

[Crystal Renee]

Dates that we got coming up.

[Kev On Stage]

There's no dates yet. Okay. But just follow me, Kevin, on stage. Everything I can talk about or I want to tell you about, just follow me. I'll. I'll talk about it. But grief sucks. Larger tour coming this summer into the fall. Watch me on Tubi. I've got some stuff on Tubi that's out, and some more will be coming out soon. I don't know the date, so I don't want to, you know. Just follow me.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

Kev on stage. If you follow me, you'll. You. You'll stay tapped. I'll be able to tell you.

[Crystal Renee]

Okay, awesome. Thank you so much. Before we get out of here, our theme for this season, we're leaning more into being unapologetic. So I want to know, what is Kev being unapologetic about in this season of his life?

[Kev On Stage]

Ooh, that's a great question. I am being unapologetically me, and I think that means I am finally accepting that you might not like me or what I say. And I'm okay with that because earlier in my life and early in my content career, I was. I was trying to make every single person happy, and that was not an attainable thing. So now I am realizing to be myself, I have to accept that some people won't like that. And they'll vocalize that and they'll thread about it and tweet about it and tick tock about it. And also, like, at my level of awareness, it's advantageous for people to talk about me.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah.

[Kev On Stage]

Negatively. Because your video or your thread or tweet or podcast, it will often do well. I don't like that. Yeah, I really hate that. But there's nothing I can do about that. And I certainly won't try to appease millions of people because I have millions of followers who actually like me. Multiple millions of people who don't follow me and may not like me. So I can't control all those variables. I think it comes from, like, a control, like. And as a comedian, if you have a thousand people laughing but two not laughing, you focus on those two. You perform live. You want to hit everybody.

[Crystal Renee]

Everybody. Why you over here falling asleep?

[Kev On Stage]

What's up? Yes, I'm killing right now. And you just can't do that. And you'll be racking your brain trying to. So I be having to be quiet. And. And me and Melissa realized the other week this phrase that we came up with, like, not saying anything is not the same as having nothing to say. I often choose not to say something.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes, that's good.

[Kev On Stage]

Sometimes I just don't say anything because I know if I address a thing, it's just gonna magnify it.

[Crystal Renee]

You can't give everything energy.

[Kev On Stage]

It don't mean I ain't seeing. It don't mean I don't have thoughts. But my thoughts are for my family and friends and maybe sometimes even my actual audience, who. Who cares? But I'm also not gonna give negativity what they want, which is more visibility. You gonna die on that vine. I'm not gonna till that garden.

[Crystal Renee]

Yes.

[Kev On Stage]

You gonna have to keep the hate train going. I ain't gonna help you talk about me. Absolutely not.

[Crystal Renee]

Yeah. I love it.

[Kev On Stage]

Thank you very much.

[Crystal Renee]

Thank you so much. You know, what stays with me from this conversation is a reminder that growth doesn't always look like clarity. Sometime showing up honestly, even while you're still processing. Kev, I want to thank you for your honesty, your perspective, and willingness to hold both humor and heaviness at the same time. Because sometimes healing isn't about having the right words. It's about being present, being real, and allowing yourself to keep going. Thank you so much for tuning in. Be sure to subscribe. Share this episode with someone who needs it. And if you ever need advice, positivity, or want to share what you're going through, email [e-mail] as always, stay blessed, stay encouraged, and keep it positive. Sweetie. I'll see you guys next time. This is an Iheart podcast.

[Kev On Stage]

Guaranteed human.